I interview hundreds of people a year about this topic, including Alexandra Robbins.

(In fact, I read this blog because the advice is so much more relevant to young people than the finance advice from book authors who pitch ideas to me.)

Anyway, the advice I find, once compiled, is sometimes surprising. Here are some examples:

Skip grad school
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2005/08/01/is-grad-school-right-for-you/

Job hop
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/24/good-news-for-job-hoppers-frequent-change-maintains-passion/

Move to a smaller city
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/12/how-to-decide-where-to-live/

And I agree with ‘Emile’ and ‘pt’ about the “Strong Faith” issue. But I think those of us who are not religiously inclined could argue that an appreciation for life coupled with sound personal philosophy and principles could be the source from which the strentgh to carry on and cope is drawn. It doesnt have to be a ‘higher power’, or a ‘Purpose (driven life)’…my love for my family and a desire to make the world better and help others is what I have ‘faith’ in. I have created my own life’s purpose, and in times of crisis I can ask myself “What can I do to stay on track…are the choices Im making reflective of my values/philosophy of life??”

If you broaden the word ‘faith’ outside of its religious context then its a useful concept. Believing that something is important (like world peace for example) would probably help with the ‘what do I do now?’ feeling. At least it helps me.

Relating all this back to personal finance. Lots of people’s overspending has an emotional element to it. Seeking ways to overcome dependency on retail therapy is likely to lead to a better bank balance.

http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/QLCompanion/index.shtml

And in my experience, deciding not to date doesn’t lead to hordes of women clamoring for a challenge, it just leads to a lot of lonely nights. Crap advice.

I’m in a weird spot right now in my life … living and working in the bay area having grown up here. part of me is tired of it but i’m going to be patient, work hard and get out there and challenge myself. But tip #7 is really great. i’ve been volunteering a bit as a mentor to youths and it’s given me some perspective. i’m definitely going out and checking out new sights/events to meet people.

thanks for an insightful post!

It seems to be working out just fine so far, as I’m debt-free at quite happily married. I know that people change when the have children, but if I had a child tomorrow my intention would be to avoid impressing them with a particular religion.

The rest of your list is quite good; I particularly like the volunteer one (though hypocritically, I myself haven’t volunteered in years) — one notion that’s served me well throughout my life is a deep sense of gratefulness for all the advantages I have, and volunteering helps foster this as well as giving something back.

I don’t necessarily agree with all of Laura’s points, but I appreciate her position, and the time she took to formulate these ideas. I think that any parent who is this intent on providing a good start for her children is going to see them grow in to fine, strong adults.

In particular, I too, don’t feel that faith is a prerequisite for avoiding a Quarterlife Crisis. I’ve seen plenty of people, both religious and non-religious, struggle with life choices at all ages. Too, I’ve seen many people, both religious and non-religious, handle the cards life dealt them with skill and aplomb. I’m not convinced that spirituality is necessary. But for some people, it’s a godsend. (Heh.) As always, do what works for you.

I do, however, think that it is vitally important to remain optimistic. I’ve seen some negative people succeed, but it’s usually in spite of themselves. From my experience, most poeple with negative attitudes crash and burn. This isn’t just opinion, either. Research has demonstrated that a positive attitude is an integral part of a successful life. Do your best to cultivate one.

Thanks, Laura, for contributing a thoughtful piece!

It’s good advice to not stress about it, and focus on the thing you enjoy while hoping/expecting to find someone in the course of doing those things. But for some of us, just blithely saying “oh, it’ll all work out” just isn’t advice we’re interested in following. “You’ll find someone eventually” is irrelevant; I don’t care if I’m happily married in my 50s at the moment; I’m more concerned with being happy for the next few years.

And I’ll echo Sandy J’s comment. Apparently, friends and family are unreliable, while “something eternal” is a good thing to cling to. As an atheist who’s handling the quarter-life crisis reasonably well (IMHO), I find this notion more than a bit offensive, especially as I’ve recently seen many (not all) of my strongly religious, faith-driven friends experience a crisis of faith while trying to rely on it for support in the middle of all the other stresses of the post-college world.

So, a strong faith is not a prequisite to a balanced life (though I understand that churches can provide some support, especially if you’re alone in a faraway place, which is good).

I have to disagree with the author, though, that her steps to diverting a crisis are all you need. I “fit” pretty much all of the recommendations except for two - I am not religious in a mainstream way, and I am not interested in having a family. Sometimes I look around at the people I work with and it seems like that is what they have done to give their life meaning - either joined a church or decided to have kids. I’m not trivializing faith or family; however, neither of those paths fit me. So what do I do? I don’t think it makes me an ungrounded person to ask questions like that - it makes me a person who is trying to find the best way to live her life.