It’s been a while since I featured a “funny money” story. Here’s one from the local paper.

Suspected bank robber plans heist, forgets part about speedy getaway
by Noelle Crombie

And now for the case of the suspected bank robber who, it seems, overlooked the importance of the speedy getaway.

The feds say John R. Jankoski, 48, walked into a Bank of America branch on Southwest Stark Street back in November using the aid of a walker. He made it to the teller’s window and slipped the teller a note that read, “Put the money in the bag!”

The case is what’s known among cops and robbers as a “note job” — robberies where bank robbers use notes, not the threat of a gun. The teller stuffed a white shopping bag with $2,761 and a couple of tracking devices used to locate bank robbers. At this point, you’re probably thinking the suspected thief got into a car that sped off. Or maybe he had someone outside waiting for him.

Well, not exactly.

According to federal court records, Jankoski used his walker to exit the bank and walk to a TriMet stop directly in front of the bank branch. He was promptly arrested. Jankoski, under questioning by cops, said he planned to use the dough to buy crack cocaine.

If it’s any consolation to the bank teller, Jankoski penned an apology, also included in the federal court files. He’s sorry, he said, “for any trouble I caused.”

Thanks to GRS-reader Paul for sending this in!