[...] Sloganeering posted a response to my recent story about allowing yourself to splurge. The author makes an excellent observation: There are two ways to wind up living a frugal life-style: because you want to (middle-class slumming and self-esteem boosting), or you need to (you’re just fucking poor). If you are the former, then yes, it’s okay to splurge now and then. Splurge away! But if you are the latter, then even the most occasional and modest splurging could snowball into a disaster in which you could lose everything. [...]

rewiring is correct, because you are trying to change your behavior. you do this by structuring your financial life and abiding by it. You abide by it, because you have goals that you have set out for yourself. This is why financial goals need to be realistic. If they are not, you will be more willing to see them as too daunting and fail at them and go back to your old ways. you measure goals by keeping track of your budget and seeing the progress and accomplishments as time goes by.

remember, there is no use in having money if you cannot spend it. just spend it within the parameters of your goals.

It’s definitely on our list to revisit!

But more importantly as his Christmas present, I gave him $200 blow money for rinkside hockey tickets to his favorite hockey team. $150 ticket and another $50 for beer. I guess I should up it a bit more for dinner and stuff.

I might add my DH makes 6 figures and rarely spends any money on anything except absolute necessities. I think we’re learning slowly how to spend money now that we’re earning more. And it’s good to have a balance before you die without having enjoyed any part of life.

[...] Blogging Away Debt was able to easily improve her credit report by getting a higher credit limit on a card with just one click. J.D. from Get Rich Slowly says it’s OK to splurge sometimes. [...]

I think you’re right about the “rewiring” bit. That’s an excellent way to put it. I feel like a part of me has finally been rewired, and that makes me happy.

We have about $15K in credit card/home equity debt(debt from stupid youth spending that we each brought into the relationship when we got married) and an $8K car loan. We have been paying about $1300 a month toward this debt, and plan to sell our house this spring for a 40-60K profit (this is a modest prediction–we’re accounting for the crappy market).

We’ll move into a slightly more expensive house (but not much), so our mortgage payment is going to go up by $150-200 a month, and we’ll wipe out our debt with the extra cash we make from the home sale (after making a big down payment and accounting for closing and moving costs).

For the last four months, we’ve also been living frugally. This has been a really exciting adventure for me, forcing me to be really creative about spending (I’ve been a shopaholic in the past) and to rethink why I spend what I do.

This month, however, I “splurged” on a $28 ring, but I had this strange response afterward. It was like the old shopping buzz in my head was reignited, and I immediately wanted to spend more. I went and dropped another $50 on stuff at the thrift store (clothes for the kids, shoes for me) afterward. This makes no sense. We didn’t really “need” these things, though I could justify buying them.

Okay, so this isn’t exactly an avalanche of spending, but it’s triggered the old feelings I used to get from spending a lot at Target, say, as if I was rebuilding my life in some way. It has made me want to go shopping more, not less.

In other words, I feel like I need to do some rewiring before I can start “splurging” safely, because for me, even small splurges make those old feelings of entitlement and excitement rear up, and I lose my sense of self and the greater goals we’ve set for ourselves (a vacation later this year, some new furniture, an emergency fund). It’s like a drug addiction, really. I love the high too much.

I’m a freak with the uber-long posts. Sorry. Your blog just gets me all excited.

Jen

[...] A recent post at Get Rich Slowly points out that, even if you’re trying to live a frugal lifestyle, it’s okay to splurge every now and then. And it points up something that I’ve noticed, now that I’ve been following the frugal-living/money-saving blogs. They’re so delightfully middle-class. [...]

Congrats on your positive momentum.

The usual problem is the aggregate effects of not paying attention to what you are doing routinely.

You’re getting a special quality of service from a highly trained waitstaff, the artistic creation of a chef, top quality ingredients and staff highly trained in the art of food, and loads of atmosphere. At least you’re supposed to be!

I’m all for fine dining as a splurge.

$150 sounds like a lot to spend on a meal, but if you just put away $15 from every restaurant meal you didn’t eat, you’d get there pretty quickly.

you write a great blog! it keeps me in check and monitoring my budget and spending.

JD – you seem to have a very appropriate concept of money. It is a tool, completely under your control, to do with as you wish. And, more importantly, your wishes are grounded in a reality of what truly makes you feel happy. Splurge on!

So I’ve turned my splurging habit into a well-calculated monthly event. And I now only splurge with a purpose. No more $300 trips to Target for random stuff that is necessary, but not worthy of spending that much money on.
This month, I’m buying myself a Betta fish. It’s a small splurge, but that’s because it’s going to add about an extra $20 to my monthly expenses for fish food. It also needs to be small because I plan on dropping a large chunk o’ change at the end of the month on a much needed car repair.
Next month will probably be splurge free since I need to get used to paying an extra $600/mo for debt re-payment.
And then the following month my splurge will be a couple $100 to upgrade a decent computer I acquired.

It feels good to know that I CAN afford to spend a little extra money each month, so long as I account for it ahead of time.

I just splurged on a new Canon DSLR I’ve been pining over using our tax refund. We were going to apply it all to our dwindling credit balance. We should still be done by autumn, but we talked ourselves into splitting the refund for a splurge. My wife is much more practical than I am so she’s buying (practical) clothes and kitchen items, comparison shopping all the way.
I blew it all on my one item – but I love it. Like the poster above, I have no buyers remorse since it’s the first big reward item I’ve got in at least five years… until I read your blog.
We should probably thank our two year old… since we wouldn’t have a refund without her.
Exurbon Jon wanted his iPod, my reward item was going to be a MacBook Pro that I save for after our debt is gone. I’ll have to wait for that now. I should even wait until after we have a bigger emergency fund. After this (much cheaper) toy, I don’t feel any need for a new notebook since I already have a functional computer. I was going crazy not having a new toy, I’m a gadget hog with old gadgets. Now I feel justified in my five year splurge.

I love your blog, by the way, and tell everyone I know about it when the subject comes up. Thanks!

So if you love movies and want a big TV. Go ahead and save up for one. Just don’t forget about the overall picture to keep saving for retriement and paying off debt.

CD

Whenever I feel like I’ve reached a short-term financial goal, I splurge too. I mean that’s the whole reason why we work hard in the first place, is so we can enjoy it!

Food is my weakness too. I just spent $140 on my birthday dinner at a prime rib restaurant in SF (3 people). I paid $40 alone for my entree! It was well worth it though.

This past month, I found out why it’s important to have an emergency fund. I had 3k worth in car repairs (major tune up, brakes, tires, alignment, radiator). A family member needed help with some bills too, so I had some extra change to help her out. When it rains it pours, so you have to be prepared for the unexpected.

All the things you mention on this site have helped me tremendously. I’m now at the point in my life where I have no credit card debt, saving a % for retirement, emergencies, and still have enough to enjoy myself. That’s what it’s all about.

One thing that kept me personally motivated on paying off my $52K of credit cards, student loans and car loans was this fact: The day I was out of debt, I could go to the Apple store and get the most expensive iPod available.

One by one my friends, many deeper in debt than I, bought themselves iPods. A few mocked me for not just going and buying one. But finally last month we paid off that debt and I immediately snagged my iPod.

Of course, my friends toting around their three-year-old models are oohing-and-aahing over it, wondering if they should by the latest model. But they’re still in debt.

Another thing I noticed? This is the first major purchase I’ve made in years without any buyer’s remorse. I was used to feeling guilty whenever I purchased anything since it was getting me deeper in debt. I’m loving the new freedom.

Remember one important detail: “going overboard” in any habit or hobby is often indicative of a different issue: treading lightly on this subject, an obsessional attitude towards spending, food, partying, collecting, or hobbies may be hiding an ‘emotional hole’ that the person is trying to fill. One can observe these habits to uncover this ‘unbalancing’, and make small changes bit by bit: often, those obsessions are creating the deeper hole. As the person rebalances slowly, the habits get healthier and the person gets healthier in turn!