After writing about Time is Money last night, I climbed into bed and began to read John Bogle’s new The Little Book of Common Sense Investing. In the introduction, Bogle raves about the magic of compound returns. I turned to Kris, who was reading about birds, and said, “This reminds me of that bank song from Mary Poppins.” I paused. “I wonder if it’s on YouTube.”

Of course it is. Everything is on YouTube. This song bored me when I was a kid, but now it cracks me up. Being smart with money is no fun if you can’t laugh at yourself!

Fidelity Fiduciary Bank
If you invest your tuppence wisely in the bank, safe and sound,
Soon that tuppence, safely invested in the bank, will compound.
And you’ll achieve that sense of conquest as your affluence expands
In the hands of the directors who invest as propriety demands.

You see, Michael, you’ll be part of: Railways through Africa!
Dams across the Nile! Fleets of ocean greyhounds!
Majestic, self-amortizing canals! Plantations of ripening tea!

All from tuppence, prudently, fruitfully, frugally invested
In the — to be specific — in the
Dawes, Tomes, Mousely, Grubbs Fidelity Fiduciary Bank!

When you deposit tuppence in a bank account, soon you’ll see
That it blooms into credit of a generous amount semiannually.
And you’ll achieve that sense of stature as your influence expands
To the high financial strata that established credit now commands.

You can purchase first and second trust deeds!
Think of the foreclosures! Bonds! Chattels!
Dividends! Shares! Bankruptcies! Debtor sales!
Opportunities! All manner of private enterprise!
Shipyards! The mercantile! Collieries! Tanneries!
Incorporations! Amalgamations! Banks!

Tuppence, patiently, cautiously trustingly invested
In the — to be specific — in the
Dawes, Tomes, Mousely, Grubbs Fidelity Fiduciary Bank!

“If you feed the birds, what have you got? Fat birds!” Heh.

This article is about Funny Money, Kids