This guest post is from Penelope Trunk, author of Brazen Careerist: The New Rules for Success. Trunk is a career columnist for the Boston Globe and Yahoo! Finance, and also dispenses wisdom on her blog.
I recently relocated from New York City to Madison, Wisconsin. I made the move in order to have a lower cost of living, and to give me more flexibility to focus on things that will really make me and my family happy.
Most people think this is an extreme move that they could not do. But maybe you can. I am married with two small children, and I am a person who has always lived in big, expensive cities: Boston, Los Angeles, Chicago and New York. But the move turned out well for me.
I decided to move after reading a lot of research about what makes us happy — in my mind, it all points to a small, inexpensive city. We used to think that happiness was a mystery, but it’s not. The positive psychology movement is scientific, mainstream, and taught at 150 universities in the United States. At Harvard, positive psychology is the most popular undergraduate course. This is not fringe stuff, and it’s hefty enough to guide big life decisions.
The conclusions I came to will not work for all of you, but surely the research I used will give you some ideas to think about. Here are some tidbits of positive psychology research that influenced my move:
Money will not make you happy
Money doesn’t buy happiness, but you won’t feel like you have enough money if you don’t make as much as your friends and neighbors. We really only need about $40,000 to be happy. Once you have a roof over your head (not a nice roof) and food on your plate (not out-of-season fruit), happiness is based on how optimistic your outlook is. To a point.Â
If all your friends earn a lot more than you do, it is nearly impossible to feel secure with the amount of money you have. I love this story from the New York Times real estate section: A husband and wife are looking a summer home in the Hamptons that is on the market for $5 million, and the wife says to the husband, “If you had a better job, we wouldn’t have to live this way.”
Don’t be so arrogant as to think you could not be this person. Most of us are not immune to the uneasy feeling of being the person in the room with the least disposable income. It’s human nature.
More choices will not make you happy
In New York City you can get the best of everything. It’s part of the draw. And people who live there are very smart about figuring out what is best. In fact, so much so that if you tell someone you have the best of anything, they roll their eyes because it’s such a cliché.
Â
The problem is that more choices make us more stressed. So if we can choose between ten very expensive health clubs, we will want one. But if there is only one, small, sort-of-ratty health club, we’ll usually just go there and work out and won’t worry that there is nothing better.
Â
Your mortgage is more long-term than your career
Most of us will change careers more than we will change homes. Moving kids around the country in order to change jobs is not good for the children. Kids need to make long-term friends, to feel part of a community, to have a sense of stability around them so they can explore themselves.
Â
This is not news. What’s news is that you should pick your location first and then pick your job. You will change jobs a lot, you will change careers a few times, you will probably not change your community. If you pick a community that is cheaper to live in, then you will have more flexibility when you are changing jobs and careers. The biggest barrier to people leaving a career they don’t like is that they’ve boxed themselves in financially. Living in an inexpensive city makes it more likely you can change careers when you need to.
Â
Your relationships matter most
People think a job will make them happy, but it won’t. A job can ensure that you are not unhappy. You need to have interesting, challenging work that you can make progress on. You need to work with people you don’t hate. But that will not make you happy unless you have good relationships.
A big factor in your happiness is if you are in a committed relationship and you see that person regularly. Want to test yourself? If you are having sex once a week with the same person, you’re in a great position to maximize your happiness.
So live somewhere close to your friends and family if you can. And don’t relocate away from your significant other to get more money. It’s not worth it. The less financial stress you have in your life, the more time and energy you can spend with your friends and family.
Conclusion
I think people spend a lot of time thinking about small financial issues because they think the large financial issues are set in stone. My life became amazingly less stressful as soon as I moved to a city with a very low cost of living. I recommend that you think of doing the same thing — think about what is keeping you from doing that, and ask yourself if it’s a real barrier or just fear of a big change.Â
And, if you do want to consider a move seriously, here’s a bunch of other research I used for my own move.
For more of Penelope Trunk’s advice, check out her book, read her column, or visit her blog.
GRS is committed to helping our readers save and achieve your financial goals.Savings interest rates may be low, but that’s all the more reason to shop for the best rate.Find the highest savings interest rate from Ally Bank, Capital One 360, Everbank, and more.
This article is about Career, Choices, House and Home
Disclaimer: This content is not provided or commissioned by American Express. Opinions expressed here are author's alone, not those of American Express, and have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by American Express. This site may be compensated through American Express Affiliate Program.
Discover is a paid advertiser of this site. Reasonable efforts are made to maintain accurate information. See the Discover online credit card application for full terms and conditions on offers and rewards.
SEARCH FOR RECENT ARTICLES
Awesome post. My very first thought when reading the title was, “Great idea… but that would mean moving away from family and friends.” When my wife and I first got married we lived on the other coast from our family but moved back to be close to them. All the talk about money not making you happy is spot on. My sister-in-law is going through this now with a husband who wants her to earn more so they can be happy…
loading....
Another point to add about money and happiness is that it helps to ignore what other people do and say about money. The best job I ever had paid $13,000 a year, and to me at that time (1983) it was a great salary. My previous job paid $9K/year, so $13K made me feel rich. I loved my job, but all my colleagues complained about how poorly paid we were. Eventually after hearing them grouse about it all the time, I started feeling underpaid too, and that affected my enjoyment of my job. Ultimately I found a higher-paid job elsewhere but I didn’t enjoy it, and in fact I never should have left. Moral: if you make enough to satisfy your own needs, don’t pay any attention to what other people say or earn.
loading....
For me also, living near family and friends would mean living in a more expensive city. I’ve actually chosen to remain in a cheaper city, so that I can essentially have more money.
OTOH, I have a job that makes me happy – not because of the job itself, but because I am friends with my colleagues. I’m also developing new friends and slowly allowing myself to become attached to my location.
I think that you can be happy anywhere – its just that some places are easier than others.
loading....
Great summary of a complex decision, Penelope! My husband and moved from NYC to Philly in 1986. (You were probably in nursery school!) We’ve often mused on how we LOWERED our overhead by moving into a house 3 times the size of our NYC appt for 1/3 the price. It was more complicated than that, of course, and now I wonder why I live in such a resource-sucking house and am continually working on greening it, but it was the most out of the box,best decision of our adult lives. It financed a PhD for my husband, eased the arrival of our 2nd child, and above all put us in a community of creative, bright, healthy, like-minded adults who were not the adrenalin driven, competitve, status-obsessed NYC crowd.
There are some down-sides (have you wintered in Madison yet, by the way?) but they are far outweighed by the benefits.
loading....
Great post and I couldn’t agree more, except my husband and I took this to extremes. My husband and I (upon finding out I was preggies) moved to rural North Dakota, just outside of Fargo. Little crime, low cost of living, excellent school systems/programs/teachers, and friendly neighbors. We have our own veggie garden and do everything we can to save money.
The thing I like the most about living here is the fact that the issue of money and disposable income / competition between the Joneses doesn’t exist because people just don’t care. We live life, we send out kids to school, piano and tae kwon do practice and at night we go to bed without wringing our hands over money.
People sometimes laugh when I tell them where we live… saying there is no culture, that we are hicks. We have everything a big city has within 100 miles of where I live. Symphony, art, recreation, camping, dance, music… the only thing we may be missing is a gay night club. OH WAIT! We have one of those too.
loading....
In my case, moving to a less expensive city has actually made us less happy. We no longer have to worry about money, but we ended up near extended family who act as if we don’t exist, a political environment that is completely anathema to us, and obnoxious neighbors who are overtly disdainful of equity locusts, the derogatory local term for anyone who moves in from a more expensive location (e.g., either coast).
In California, we had a wonderful neighborhood, an inclusive church environment, a great private school, and family members who would drop everything to come and visit, because we lived in such a beautiful location. We left because my husband’s job was shaky, and we thought that the financial security would make us happy.
In reality, it has only made us feel alienated from our neighbors, many of whom are in the foreclosure process and openly resent us. And, no we don’t talk about our financial situation, but it’s obvious to anyone who pays attention. We paid cash for our house, and the previous owners blabbed to everyone on the street. We keep to ourselves a lot, which is not our personalities at all. So, after a year of feeling like outcasts, we are now trying to figure out if we can afford to move back.
BTW, for anyone who is actually considering this, think carefully about renting rather than purchasing right off the bat to make sure that you’ll be happy over the long haul.
loading....
This article is spot on.
You carry your culture in your mind-it doesn’t really matter where you live, especially in this internet age.
Living in a large, vibrant city is a great experience when you are young and fancy free. A lot of what we love about NY or London is free or cheap enough. I never earned more than double minimum wage in the years I lived in NY, but I never lacked for places to go and things to do on a nothing budget. Eventually, though, priorities change and unless you have a career that demands you be in the big city, it is time to regroup.
When you want to have a family or have more than the free Shakespeare in the Park or free nights at the Modern, it is time to head to a place where the air is clean and the nights are quiet.
loading....
Great post.
I just did that. I think I will save 30-40% considering the apartment. But, really, almost anything is cheaper in a medium sized city (I wouldn’t go to a small city because sometimes they lack on infrastructure) compared to a big city.
There are other things to consider: less polution, less traffic (so more time. And Time = life), probably crime rates are lower.
But if you need a job, wages are low and jobs are hard to find. Whereas if you are a freelancer, and you work from a home office, you could live anywhere, and keep your clients from the big city!
loading....
WOW. I was shocked at this article because I was thinking about doing this myself. Moving to a small town, working at a relaxed job, less stress and everything. Great inspiration for me. Thanks for writing it!
loading....
From personal experience, I recommend folks to please pick a GREAT city – not just one that’s cheaper. I’ve found in folds that living in a low quality city is horrible and no amount of savings can change that.
loading....
My wife and I live in a pretty inexpensive place (Memphis) but we’re honestly not very happy here. We’ve thought about moving somewhere that we would actually enjoy going out and doing stuff (mountainy areas usually) but for us that will almost certainly moving to a more expensive area. Really the only thing keeping us here is family.
But that right there is a HUGE thing especially since we just had our first kid. We love our family very much and as much as we want to leave the area, the happiness we get from being nearby outweighs the negatives of the local.
This is just one of those things that’s often pretty complicated with many factors that influence the decision.
loading....
Hey, guys. Checking in during my last night in London. We transfer to Dublin tomorrow, and though I’m sure I’ll find internet access, I don’t know if it will be better or worse than the access I have here. (It would be difficult to be worse.)
I love Penelope’s article, too. It hits on a lot of things I’ve been thinking about lately. If you’re interested in this subject, I recommend going to your public library and borrowing The Four-Hour Work Week. I’ll have a full review of the book later, but the short blurb is: this book has a lot of inspirational jumping off points for thinking about moving to cheaper places. You don’t have to agree with everything the author says or does to draw some valuable tips about living cheap in different locations.
What’s funny is I just spent the last hour in the hotel room watching a program on BBC2. I had only meant to come in to change clothes before heading out for a final night on the town, but I got sucked into a show about Brits who had sold everything and moved to southern Spain. Though the lifestyle is cheaper there, the people that were profiled struggled to make a go of it, but they wouldn’t change a thing. They were chasing a dream. I immediately thought of Penelope’s article, and of The Four-Hour Work Week.
Hope you’re all doing well. I’ve had a lot of fun in England, but Ireland is a completely blank slate. I have no agenda, so don’t know what to expect. I just hope it costs less!
loading....
[...] moving as a way to seriously cut your expenses and ease your financial burden. Today he has a wonderful guest post from Penelope Trunk, author of Brazen Careerist that further supports his [...]
loading....
JD and all – I read Penelope’s column also, and saw this posting there some time back, At the time, I thought it had some good points, even though I’m happy living in a very high cost area (San Diego – very high sunshine tax!). However, for those that don’t read her column, I’d like to point out that she has some later posts talking about some serious problems in her marriage. Not to belittle her problems, but this makes me questions statements such as her opening sentence: “I recently relocated from New York City to Madison, Wisconsin. I made the move in order to have a lower cost of living, and to give me more flexibility to focus on things that will really make me and my family happy.” Perhaps some caution is warranted…
loading....
Hats off to North Dakota, Kelly! It’s my home state, and you are the first to legalize hemp growing. Hemp is a great crop from an environmental standpoint.
Though from what I hear the lake cottages of my youth have grown into fancy, huge year-round McMansions.
Take a peek:
http://www.moneychangesthings.blogspot.com
loading....
I agree with Modern-Worker. I’m pretty frugal, but I don’t buy into the “cheaper = just as good” argument when it comes to community. To me, it’s more important to live in a city I love than to save a few bucks. I just moved from Chicago to San Francisco, where my rent is $500 more a month, and I’m so much happier here. Better weather, better transit, and lots of progressive people (which is important to me).
I had been unhappy in Chicago for years, but I stayed because it was more affordable than New York or San Francisco. After I realized that the price of saving money was my happiness, I decided to move. Of course, I also increased my salary by 1/3 by moving out here, so I actually have more money to save than I did in Chicago.
I also think that being married with wee ones gives a very different outlook than being single. I live in large cities with good culture because I want to find friends with similar interests, and eventually, someone to marry. I have a feeling Penelope wouldn’t have been so keen to move to Madison if she were doing it as a single woman in her 20s. I could see moving to a small city if I were married already, but as a single person, I’d worry that I’d wind up more of a cat-lady spinster than I already am…
loading....
Conceptually this was a good article, but I think it ignores some of the drawbacks of moving to a smaller city.
She mentions the ability to pick and choose careers, but I would argue that in a smaller city it would be far more difficult to just switch careers due to limited job availability.
I also think that families should not restrict themselves to living in the city where the rest of their extended family happens to live. I believe family is important, but if the city your family lives in does not fulfill the priorities and needs of your own family it would be better to branch out and come back to visit the extended family, rather than limit yourself by permanently living in a city that doesn’t satisfy you.
loading....
I recently moved to a bigger city and I have been more happy since moving. Sure the cost of living much higher and as a result I haven’t been able to afford a motorcycle I’ve been wanting for the past year. And yeah I feel pressured to be tight on my wallet.
The things that make it better have been access to amenities without having to jump in the car or take the bus. The weather was a major factor in moving. And the amount of jobs makes me feel safe even if I were to find myself downsized.
That said, if I ever manage to get my online businesses running, maybe I’ll consider moving to a smaller city again. maybe.
loading....
I love this posting and agree with just about all of it, but I want to add one caveat. There actually is some research that your job can make you happy if it’s your passion. Your real passion – not something you are trying to convince yourself you like or that you are doing because money is your passion. I know that almost all of my jobs have made me happy because they are linked to who I am at my core – they all involve helping women achieve equality, ending sexual assault and domestic violence, etc. Even if I have hard days or difficult co-workers, I get tons of satisfaction on a daily basis from what I do. And it often doesn’t feel like work because it’s so tied into my values and core beliefs.
So, for people who are finding that their jobs can’t make them happy, maybe you need to align your work more with your values, passion, and vision for the world.
loading....
Dave – thanks for the reality check re: her later columns about her marriage problems. I hope she can find personal happiness and work out the personal issues, but it really makes me think: all these career gurus (“Brazen Careerist” et al) — how many of them have broken personal lives to go along with their brazen careers.
Not to open up the “can we have it all” debate — but there is a bit of a question there. Maybe you can’t have it all at one time, or maybe you shouldn’t get it all too fast….Food for thought…
loading....
I have to agree with the part about making $40K is enough to be happy.
Once I jump from $38K to 50K I was relieved after $50K I did not feel any different. Besides $45K is the national average.
loading....
I don’t think Penelope, or J.D. for that matter, is saying that moving to a smaller, lower cost city is for everyone. It’s just an option to consider if you really are trying to cut down on expenses. I have plenty of friends who are absolutely devoted to urban living for a variety of reasons. For them the cost savings of moving to a location with a lower cost of living doesn’t make sense. I, however have no such commitment! I’m a small town kid at heart so the thought of moving to a smaller place is already appealing to me.
All that to say the obvious. There is, and should be, a lot more to choosing a location than money – but money shouldn’t necessarily just be an after-thought either.
loading....
After being “eliminated” from my job as an IT Manager in Orange County, CA, I decided to relocate my family to a small town about 20 miles southeast of Charlotte, NC. One of the reasons was that I grew up in NC. Another was that all our families are within a day’s drive (close, but not too close … if you know what I mean). But the main reason was the inexpensive housing. By cashing out on the the equity from the sale of our house in CA, we were able to get a bigger house and use the remainder of the money to start our own business. Our business is a quilt shop. We turned my wife’s hobby into a business. She takes care of the customer facing stuff and I take care of the “behind-the-scenes” stuff (accounting, purchasing, receiving, web site, taking out the trash, etc.) Since she has to stay at the shop more than I do, I become a stay at home dad after my kids get home from school. I’ve never been happier.
loading....
One reason that I don’t consider moving to many places that are considered less expensive (yet still desirable to raise a family, have a good quality of life, etc.) is because a lot of those areas that are ethnically homogenous. An added layer of very real consideration for anyone interested in diversity/raising families in ethnically diverse areas. A make or break consideration for people of color in my opinion.
color would have to take into consideration, that is not mentioned in this article.
loading....
Shaz, I agree with you wholeheartedly. One of the primary reasons I am committed to settling down in (or near) San Francisco is the ethnic diversity. As an SF native and woman of color, I had the luxury of growing up surrounded by the cuisine, festivities, and experiences of other people of color. All of that has informed the way I see the world and I am willing to live simply so that my future children will have the same opportunity I did.
loading....
We’ve seriously considered moving to the smaller city where my parents live. We could buy an ocean-view executive home for half the price of a fixer-upper in our current city. However, it would mean taking a step down in our jobs and earning power. The problem is that, if we ever lost our jobs, we’d have to go back to a big city for employment. And then we wouldn’t have any recent senior experience. So we remain in the city, even though we’d rather be in a smaller city.
loading....
I think it’s all true and it isn’t at the sime time. It’s all depends on your age. If you are a child, a small town is good enough. Later, a huge, impulsive vibrant city, to extend your possibilities, to challenge is the best. Later, when you’ve a family, the town is the best again. Families and New York just doesn’t compatible.
loading....
I have strongly been debating moving to Madison for a while now. My wife is from there and moved to Chicago after we had been dating a while. I know she would really love to move back there but I’m having trouble making the full decision. Her family is there and mine is here which really isn’t a huge deal for me. Since we had our daughter I don’t see my friends all too often (very different lifestyles) Honestly I think I would see my friends more often if we moved.
I would have to take about a $25,000/year+ paycut to move. While I can get a much nicer house there its just a huge paycut. Plus I would be leaving a very stable job where I am about to get promoted. I honestly think if everything else were the same I would be much happier there but job security is highly important to me.
My current plan is to stay until I either lose my job or have all my debt paid off and a large chunk of money put away. Hopefully my daughter will still be young enough by then that I won’t feel bad uprooting her.
loading....
omg I just wrote about us considering moving from seattle to denver not 1 week ago!!
wow, what timing!
loading....
Keep in mind Madison is not exactly a very low cost of living city. It’s quite expensive to live here. Sure, it’s no New York City, but it’s definitely not your average mid-sized city as far as cost of living goes. Madison is consistently ranked in the top ten cities to live in, so I think your post has more to do with quality of location than cost.
I’ve lived in Madison for many years and absolutely love it, but I love it despite the fact that it’s still an expensive place for housing. We have fantastic recreation, restaurants, arts, and career opportunities. If you’re well educated and in a field with potential for growth, you’ll love it here. If not, I feel like a lot of people struggle in Madison because of the cost of living.
loading....
@financegirl: Seattle to Denver is virtually no change in terms of either size of the urban area or cost of living – but there are some gorgeous, friendly, pleasant communities all around Denver that are smaller and cheaper. Boulder’s great, but not cheap; look at Loveland, Longmont, Golden. Colorado’s a great place to live!
loading....
“Seattle to Denver is virtually no change in terms of either size of the urban area or cost of living”
are you sure about the cost of living difference when comparing seattle/denver? Most of the data I’ve found puts home prices in seattle at around $420k median and denver around $250k
My girlfriend and I were split between the greater Seattle (family) area and the Denver area (cost of living/career) in addition to Colorado springs. This is also after several trips to Colorado by myself and a couple dozen by her(work) where we checked out the neighboring areas and homes/communities. There seemed to be a large change in cost of living area and a decent change in urban area when the Seattle area now basically goes from Everett to Tacoma or at least the Kent area. Is there something we don’t know about or any other information you could enlighten me with….might make our decision to go with Washington seem a little sweeter.
BTW just picked up the book and am looking forward to reading it while flying back to Seattle and spending some time interviewing and
loading....
In my experience, Seattle and Denver are very similar in terms of cost of living. In both places, you’ll likely have to live on the outskirts to make ends meet, unless you’ve got a high-paying job. I’d take Colorado Springs any day, but I love the outdoors and scenery there. I live in the NW, but spent a year in Colo. before moving here for my current job. Colo. is booming, but it’s fairly conservative, whereas Seattle is the opposite. You may want to consider other lifestyle factors, like how much you like to visit the ocean and if you can handle the amount of snow Colo. gets?
I think opinions change a lot as people grow older and priorities change. I traveled the world in my younger days and never dreamed I’d end up in the small, podunk town I now inhabit. But now that I’m settling down and thinking of having my own family, I have different values – good schools, low crime, peace and quiet, knowing my neighbors.
loading....
This is definitely a great conversation. My wife and I almost constantly debate moving to a smaller city/town. Currently we live in NYC and we’ve considered Jacksonville, FL and other locations. The birth of our first child really accelerated our thinking, because the school district we live in is miserable and private school will almost be required if we want a safe environment for him in 4 years.
I think, however, that the single greatest factor in why people don’t leave big cities is family. I know people say culture, but I don’t kid myself – I don’t go to MoMA everyday, or Broadway, or Yankees games. Jacksonville or Charlotte or Austin would have all of the same things I enjoy – community centers, parks, nice restaurants, etc. But we still remain in NYC due to family – my wife’s huge extended family all live in the 5 boroughs, and my family live a couple of hours away. Moving to any of the cities I mentioned would mean being a plane flight away, and I am very determined not to make my son a stranger to his grandparents and cousins and so on.
So it’s a tough, tough decision. We may still do it because I think once school becomes a factor our money will be crushingly tight if we choose private school, and I don’t want that to happen, either.
Penelope’s always got a lot of good material, so I enjoyed seeing her post here. Nice run of guest posters!
loading....
Madison is a gorgeous and livable city. I would move there in a heartbeat. I’d be wary of the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter where you live–most smaller cities aren’t Madison.
loading....
You’re right, Emily – there are small cities and then there are small cities. Madison,WI; Asheville, NC; Boulder or Durango, CO. These are all towns that offer a lot to just about anyone in terms of culture and opportunity. Like I said before, I’m a small town guy, but I can recognize the difference between Asheville, NC and Rolla, MO!
loading....
[...] Getting The Guts To Relocate To A Cheaper City There are a lot of interesting cities in the Midwest with a low cost of living. Seriously, check out Madison, Wisconsin or Minneapolis, Minnesota, just for starters. They both have wonderful cultural sensibilities, lots of interesting stuff going on, and are rather inexpensive, too. (@ get rich slowly) [...]
loading....
I moved from Northern CA to Austin, TX almost 10 years ago and it was the best decision. I went from living like a starving college student to being able to buy a house with a yard in a nice neighborhood. There’s no comparison. It may not seem as bleeding edge as SF/Berkeley…but there’s museums, a university, coffeeshops, huge live music scene and film scene…and people are so much more relaxed than in CA.
loading....
[...] the great discussion over at Get Rich Slowly, I came across another good article on the idea of moving to a different [...]
loading....
I really want to read Penelope’s book, but the NY Public Library doesn’t appear to have one copy!
loading....
“Families and New York just doesn’t compatible.”
Why do so many people think this? I grew up in New York, returned after college, and would be thrilled to raise children here. What exactly is the objection?
loading....
Denver is way cheaper housing than Seattle. We could move and buy a house for cash with what we’d get for our Seattle house. Denver has an incredible glut of homes for sale (compared to Seattle).
Denver has snow, yes, which is awesome if you love to ski/board.
Seattle has rain. Consistent rain. For 9 months. I have lived here 18 years and there’s precious little deviation from this.
The Puget Sound (water) is pretty, and if you need water around you Seattle is more the place for you.
I did a whole list on how Denver tilts the scales for us, so hop over to take a look at it if you want to see comparison of the 2.
loading....
I think this post is great encouragement to think outside the box and make a leap if it feels like the thing to do. I live in the bay area and know that I can’t possibly take advantage of all it’s got to offer – when it comes down to it, I tend to find and revisit a few restaurants and neighborhoods, rather than explore a different sushi place every day, for example.
My life tends to be based on friends, work, and convenient things to do, so really I could do that in a much less insanely huge and expensive area (assuming I could find both friends and work…not necessarily true!). So one day I can see moving elsewhere (this is already my third metropolitan area in my adult life), but it does feel more and more daunting to consider starting all over yet again.
But it’s important to remember that I COULD if I wanted to.
loading....
Well, if you read Penelope’s blog you will see that she is most decidedly not happy. She has posted twice — in depth — about some pretty severe marital problems.
This sunshiney post about moving being the solution to a host of problems really rings false to me. Not that it can’t work, but I would say that it hasn’t worked for the poster.
loading....
As an aside, I would note that this post & the discussion also brings up several other factors in housing, such as community & services. I owned a condo when we married. A few years later we looked at a house that was for sale – because it was across the street from 2 houses owned by friends. We did buy the house and it’s been a fantastic experience – we lend each other tools, help each other out, share costco runs and so on.
loading....
Some of the logic in this article is flawed, but I think the basic sentiment is valid.
I believe that the trick to life is to figure out what makes you happy, accept it, and pursue it; even though, most of the time, it isn’t what you wish made you happy (being rich, famous, suave, etc.).
The same can be said for your partner, stop looking for the person you think you “should” be with, and find the person you want to be with.
I did the opposite as the poster, I moved back to the “big city”. I’ve lived everywhere, from the very rural as a child to the center of San Francisco. At one point I moved to the suburbs in a medium sized city, I did this for only one reason; money. I lied to myself, saying it was for this, or for that, but really it was only because of the money. In the medium-size town I was able to buy a big house, with 2 extra bedrooms I didn’t use and a huge garage I filled to the brim.
But I wasn’t happy, truthfully I was much happier before when I had nothing and lived in the very expensive city. After a life changing event, I decided to move back to the city. I went from 3 cars to 1, I went from a big house to a small apartment. I went from a life of hoarding things that required constant maintenance to an active life, surrounded by people, low stress, and ultimately happiness.
People still say, “wow, I don’t know how you live in such a small apartment”, but I don’t care, I always answer “with a smile on my face”.
I don’t think a large city is better than a small one. Generally speaking, they both are good, but in different ways. But for you, in particular, one is better, and it’s your job to figure out which, and go there… now… seriously, we’ll wait.
loading....
I don’t understand this article…
If money can’t make you happy then how can a different bunch of dirt, some houses, and some different names for stores make you happy?? Isn’t that just attempting to find happiness in a different bunch of souless inanimate objects??
Less choice might make us happy (I doubt it, but maybe), but prof. schwarz never discusses the ‘tyranny of the majority’, which makes his book nigh on worthless in my opinion. Less choice is great as long as it’s not your favorite stuff being phased out. And phasing out tends to keep the middle and drop the fringes. Ask the gays how they feel about having less choice to marry if you need an extreme example. Not only that, isn’t he actually increasing the choice of books you can buy by writing this one, thereby increasing the stress of purchasers of his book??
As far as making yourself happy by adjusting the ratio of us and those richer than us, for 99.9% of us, no matter what city you live in, there will be someone there richer than you. They might not live in your neighbourhood, but they live in the same town as you. You will see their car and their property, and compare yourself to them. So moving to feel better in comparison to your neighbors and peers is pointless, not to mention elitist & heartless.
The point should be to think long and hard about what makes you content, and find the place and opportunity that offers that. Having a lot of money, for purposes of increased culture, medical, travel, and education might be a necessary part of it. Maybe it’s family or maybe the kids will have to deal with less stable friendships.
loading....
Great comment Fortis!
loading....
My husband and I made the move to a smaller city. Granted, my co opened a office there and my husband was retiring from the city of Phoenix and wanted to move to a smaller place. His wants, western city, smaller, great library, access to stores that we need to go to eg. Sams, Home Depot, Lowes. We did not know anyone here in Pueblo and it is my husband, me and our son, 26 who will live with us forever, and our pets. We sold our house in Phoenix at the top of the crazy buying in December, 2006 for 195M, which we bought for 69M in 1985, only in America, and bought a house here in Pueble for $122M. It is a smaller housse here but we also wanted a more simple life. We think we have it all.
Carol from Pueblo
loading....
Brandon
Madison may seem expensive to you as you have lived there for a while. Compared to where we are right now housing is at least half the price in the $200,000-$400,000 range and considerably cheaper in the higher ranges. Houses that would easily run you $3 million here were about $900,000 to $1 mil.
Trust me its not the cheapest place but My wife spent her whole life there and I’ve been looking at moving there long enough to tell you cost of living is much much cheaper than Chicago.
loading....