What I’m Doing Right
Published on - August 2nd, 2007 (Modified on - August 7th, 2007) (by J.D. Roth) Today’s guest post comes from M, a blogger and writer living in San Francisco. She keeps a fascinating personal blog, as well as Bay Area Love Letters, a site devoted to San Francisco and Northern California.
Decide how much to save in an emergency fund…Research how to determine amount of life insurance coverage needed…Brainstorm ways to save on health insurance costs…Increase 401K contributions to take advantage of company match…
All these items and more are on our financial to-do list. You know what I’m talking about, right? Whether you are just starting to try to control your finances, as my husband and I are, or you are a seasoned pro at personal finance, you probably have a list (written or mental) of how you can improve.
But in the midst of all this progress, it’s important to not lose sight of the things you are doing right. So often, we turn our attentions toward what we need to improve and forget to acknowledge what we’ve been doing well along the way (and thus need to continue doing).
Here’s to an end to that pattern: a post all about my longtime personal finance and frugality habits that I’m happy with and proud of. Because what we do well is just as important to recognize as what we can improve.
Though I am still learning about personal finance every day and always finding new ways to improve, there are lots of things I already do right and have managed to do right all along. For example:
- Dye my hair with drugstore brand dye. No salons, ever (except for occasional cuts. Come on, I’m a girl, and I have curly hair).
- No mani/pedis, except done by me at home.
- No regular spa or massage sessions.
- No gym fees. Exercise at home or outside for the cost of a pair of running shoes (replaced once or twice a year).
- Share one car between two people.
- Rely almost exclusively on public transit for commute to work and many other trips.
- Save on hotel costs and other travel expenses by taking mostly day trips instead of overnights.
- Take the Greyhound instead of a train/plane for short trips (4-5 hours).
- Live in cheapest housing available in decent neighborhoods. (Two people + large dog + small studio apartment? Check.) This makes a huge difference to the bottom line at the end of the month and allows for a little more discretionary spending without guilt.
- Used furniture for most of my adulthood. (Only recently did we buy some new furniture — all at good prices, though).
- No — or close to no — vacations except short road trips or, occasionally, places where we could stay with friends instead of in hotels.
- No trips abroad, no major vacations.
- Stay at lower cost hotels when traveling, except for a few special occasions (such as wedding anniversary). And recently, we have been leaning toward skipping pricey hotels in any circumstances, even on special occasions.
- Bring packed lunch daily.
- Make coffee at home every day rather than buying out.
- No microwave, and no frozen foods (which are usually costlier than making a meal).
- Eat at home regularly. Make meals mostly from scratch. (This is good for health, too.)
- Split one meal between two of us when eating out.
- Mostly order (free) water at restaurants instead of other beverages.
- Quit smoking.
- Rarely drink alcohol.
- No/few concerts and other expensive entertainment. Find low cost entertainment, such as watching videos at home, and, on occasion, attending low price community theater and dance performances.
- Make special occasions cheaper by sharing dessert or appetizers instead of having a full meal. We may go somewhere pricey that we’ve always wanted to try, but we’ll have just a drink and an appetizer there, instead of a full meal.
- Free/cheap recreation such as hiking, swimming, galleries, etc.
- Make own popcorn for movies. Bring candy and drinks to avoid paying high theater prices.
- Limit junk food.
- Miss weddings and other occasions (unfortunately) due to travel costs.
- Return items we don’t like/use/need (in unused condition).
- No expensive beauty services: waxing, eyebrow shaping, highlights, etc. All but cuts done at home. Husband cuts own hair.
- Drink filtered tap water. Avoid buying bottles of water. Bring own water when going out.
- Keep lights off when not needed.
- Rarely use heat or air if not absolutely needed.
- No expensive hobbies or collections.
- Buy used books.
- Make own protein shakes, no Jamba Juice, etc.
- Buy only what is really needed: Skip high-priced electronics and trendy, new gadgets. Buy necessary items with only the features we need. Don’t splurge on luxury add-ons.
- Keep items for as long as possible (I’ve had, for example, the same comforter and TV, and more, since high school. More than 15 years later, I still use these items regularly).
- Buy quality (doesn’t have to mean pricey) and keep it. Save on having to buy regular replacements.
- Make greeting cards instead of buying.
- Planned low-cost wedding without compromising quality and preferences.
- Pay bills on time. No late fees.
- Good credit = good interest rates, better luck with housing and other areas.
- And, a new habit: Once-a-week “meeting of the minds” with my husband about our finances.
What do you think of my frugal habits? What good financial habits do you have that you’re happy with and proud of?
Addendum: M dropped me a line to say that she’s posted two responses to this discussion at her personal site: We are so much richer than you may realize and Response and thoughts on my Get Rich Slowly post.
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1) Recycle cans. In a California, each can equals to 5 cents.
2) CFL lights.
3) Instead of taking expensive exercise classes at a gym, take them at the local community college or parks and recreation classes.
4) Instead of getting blockbuster, utilize your public library. You will be surprised with all the selection.
5) Grow you own herbs and vegetables.
6) Try composting.
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I think there’s frugal and there’s FRUGAL. Glad to hear your habits are working for you, but I think it all sounds a little overboard. What are you spending your money on? I make it a goal to save and prepare for the future, but then, I have fun now. I’m not going to waste my whole life being miserable just so I can have a lot of money in the bank.
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all good points, and while I understand that with a financial goal in mind, not taking vacations is a sacrifice that must be made, but I find that I can take international vactations fairly cheaply, and the experience and the memories are worth their weight in gold. if i have that vacation to look forward to (generally in third world countries living on $20 a day, not including airfare), I can get by without alot of daily splurges, and I even feel it saves me money… especially when I think about how little people in other countries are able to live with… and how excessively consumptive Americans generally are….
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[...] hours). Live in cheapest housing available in decent neighborhoods. … article continues at J.D. brought to you by insurance and [...]
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wow – that sounds like a pretty grim existence. i consider myself frugal but i guess i’m not capital F Frugal.
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MissPinkKate?
Wow. really? Those are habits I’ve had–by personal preference–my whole adult life, and never considered it a hardship or even thought of myself as frugal. As for what I spend my money on–right now it’s medical bills and health insuance, since I’ve had a chronic illness most of my life that has greatly worsened the past few years. Before that, I didn’t make much money as a high school teacher. But to answer your question I spent on movies, clothing, books, art supplies, and my pet–in other words, I spent my spending money on the things I care about that make me happy, just like everyone else does. Miserable is the last thing I am or have been (other than for my health which is out of my hands. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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Also, to add to my comment above, our household spends quite a bit on healthy, organic, vegetarian diet, something we are working on reducing the cost of while still maintaining the healthy factor.
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I agree with MissPinkKate. Perhaps there’s a context here that’s not stated. But absent that, this list just depresses me. Deprivation and frugality are not the same thing! Significant deprivation toward a goal (getting out of debt, saving for a purchase) or due to circumstance (reduced income) is one thing, but outside those circumstances, it’s hopefully not something one practices as routine “good finance.” I consider being frugal to mean practicing habits that result in the best use of your financial resources in light of your goals. So frugality should be a means, not an end in itself.
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Gosh, as I was looking through the list I was thinking it might be a practical joke – like at the end there would be a big GOTCHA to say “you really believed one person did all these things?”
Seems a bit extreme, if ya ask me.
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You are willing to miss weddings that you would like to go to… to save the money. For what is my question? Are you saving your money in hopes of one day having a big pile o’ cash to look at? I’d rather be frugal so I can go and see my friends getting married and go on fab vacations rather than be miserly.
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OK, so M has filled in some blanks about her situation and values, which makes the post more understandable. I still think it’s confusing to present that list as simply things that are “right” for personal finance in general, as seems to be implied.
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Try swapping out used books for library books– I am absolutely addicted to the local library. San Francisco public library lets you order up books online and ships them to the branch of your choosing. You get an email when they’re ready for pickup. Kinda like Netflix, for books, only free!
Otherwise, great list, but there’s no way I could say “No” to travel. Life is too short!
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A lot of that stuff seems like just common sense. But a lot of it seems a bit much. My family lives in another province. I go see them 3 times a year. I have friends who live outside the province too and I go visit them. I also plan on travelling abroad next year. I will save up for this. I like concerts. I like eating out sometimes. I like treating myself. Though some of the items on your list simply don’t apply to me (I don’t dye my hair, and massage is covered by my work health plan), it just sounds really boring. I’m sure you live a full life and are doing what’s right for you and your family, but if I want to do something big with my money I’ll do it.
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Wow, I’m soooo suprised at the comments here. Maybe I’ve focused too much on what I don’t do, and am giving the wrong impression? I’ve been feeling guilty and what I do spend and thinking I really need to buckle down, and it seems that to others, it seems like I am being way too frugal/miserly?
In context, I have always had a lower salary (ad a teacher or working in nonprofits), and high rent (in the bay area, ny, washington dc areas). Right now, I am chronically ill and a large portion of what we have goes to health costs. But even before that, I only had enough for the basics (rent, food, insurance, etc.) and very little more.
But I have NEVER been unhappy or miserable. I go on road trips, the beach, art museums, art galleries, ballet, theater, opera, restaurants. Explore the city, stay in a hotel a few times a year, exercise almost daily, watch movies, live in a place I really, really love, create are, write, buy clothing, have a pet, cook nice meals, see friends, and more. Does that sound miserable? Because it’s actually very enjoyable and feels like I am taking everything I enjoy that this world has to offer without going broke doing it.
Don’t look at my post from the context of high paying salaries. Then it may seem frugal, though I doubt I would change if I did have more money. These are things I do because I want to (for the most part, sharing meals at dinner we do to save), because I spent what I have on things that matter most, and because I do not enjoy waste or excess.
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Most of it sounds sensible and some healthy tips. But some of its just too grim !
No trips ? Miss weddings ? One still needs a life.
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[...] What I?m Doing Right Share one car between two people. Rely almost exclusively on public transit for commute to work and many other trips. Save on hotel costs and other travel expenses by taking mostly day trips instead of overnights. … [...]
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Don’t your relatives/friends feel bummed you didn’t make it to their weddings? Or is that just a sometimes you go and sometimes you don’t sort of thing? It’s often really important to relatives to have their relatives at important events. I had trouble making it to my brother’s second, (yes, not first) wedding and got some help from my mother. It wasn’t because I couldn’t afford to go, it’s that I had to take my daughter with me too! They understood it was a financial burden for both of us to show up, but they were happy to make it possible for us to do so too. My brother even let me stay in his house to defray the hotel bills. So, don’t just say no because you don’t have the money. There are always great ways to meet your goals, even when you have no money. Money shouldn’t be the deciding factor on whether you do or don’t do something. That’s just my opinion. It’s a good article but it does seem overly-focused and for me, it would mean having a joyless existence. But, everyone’s different.
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LZ–I have been doing that with the library actually and love it and just wrote a post about it a few days ago. Glad you are using that resource too.
Melissa–If I had more money, believe me I’d use it on a few trips as well–so long as the basics were taken care of. But as I wrote in other comments, you have to read my post in the context of someone who doesn’t have a ton of money to work with.
But I’ve got my own list of things I enjoy, and though I do like travel, I’ve got a lot of other things I enjoy equally or more that cost a lot less. I spend, like everyone else, on what matters most to me: good, healthy food, literature and the arts of all kinds, creative pursuits, outdoor pursuits, exploring the city.
But don’t get me wrong, we do splurge when we can. We have stayed in luxury hotels for anniversaries (just one night though), we’ve taken nice road trips and the Ca. coast has the most amazing choices for local travel–places other fly from all over the world just to see, we can drive to in a few hours or less.
Currently, we might not be able to enjoy even those splurges, because we are in a bind right now, but when we are back to normal finances again someday (I hope), we will indulge a bit more, but I still won’t be getting mani/pedis or living in a big house or chi-chi neighborhood. I just don’t believe in spending on those things; we all have to spend on the things we value most. I
We are out there every day enjoying life. I think when this post was on my blog I didn’t get this response–another reason it’s surprised me–because those who read my blog regularly know all about the many activities I do and about how I enjoy my life.
And I hate to say we are now even more frugal than that list, but that’s because we are in financial trouble due to my chronic health problems. I hope JD lets me do a post about that, because I think it’s important to talk about how finances are affected once you have a lifelong illness and disability. It can be really hard in this country, but that’s a whole other issue I won’t get into here. Anyway I guess I should pat myself on the back, here I was thinking I needed to do much better, and yet, I’ve been frugal, by some standards at least, all along!
Thanks for your comments!
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Anon,
We stopped going to out of state weddings when I came down with a chronic illness. But I think even before that, if we did not have the money–and we already owe a lot in student loan debt and medical debt–then we’d have to see on a case by case basis. For very close family and friends, we’d do all we could to go, of course.
But since we are on a tight income, some weddings require spending a large percentage of our income just to go, and sadly, we haven’t been able to. I think so far, the friends and family have understood and many had not been able to make it to our wedding for similar reasons, so when it came time for theirs, I think they understood.
Since I have a health condition, we have to be much more careful than the average person, but I tried not to list our habits that came about because of that on this list–I wanted it to be mostly just the frugal habits I’ve had my whole life.
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M: Thank you for your great ideas. While one-size does not fit all when it comes to frugality, you definately gave all of us readers some well considered points. I personally think many of your choices increase the quality of life, not limit it … rarely do I find a meal out as good as a well cooked one at home. For me, I’d add planting a garden and growing my own veggies (saves money and is wonderfully relaxing!) and shopping in the Mission and/or farmer’s markets for produce instead of Safeway.
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I have no doubt that you are happy (or at least, aren’t miserable) because of how you choose to spend/save your money. I do think that when someone reads your list, especially maybe the points related to travel and missing events, it seems very restrictive, it seems that you’d LIKE to do those things but NEVER do because of cost and not necessarily because you’d rather spend the money elsewhere and/or because you HAVE to spend the income you get elsewhere (i.e. medical bills). I think some of the counter-points in your comments shed better light on things!
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I don’t think you sound overboard frugal to me–this is all stuff that I’ve been doing for years, too.
I live in New York City and got by on a stipdend and then very small salary when I first moved here. I’ve had as many as four roommates (in a four bedroom apartment), and I sold my car when I moved up here. I bring lunch or eat at super-cheap places (subway for $4 is a luxury) at work, and cook at home for all other meals. For five years, I didn’t get a single hair cut (part of that was pure hatred of salons who didn’t get my curly hair, though–I trimmed it myself when absolutely necessary, but I also liked it long. Now a hairstylist friend does it for $25 a pop and does an amazing job every couple months). I take candy and drinks to the movies–or I did, before I quit going to the movies entirely. Now I have blockbuster’s lowest internet plan and get five movies a month for $6.49.
I do have one pricey hobby, belly dancing–but I managed to join a company and earn enough money performing to keep me in costumes, accessories, classes, and travel for the jobs. I only travel home to visit family, and that only once or twice a year. I’ve saved enough to build a respectible emergency fund, put down money on a really great apartment, and fund retirement plans, and I feel more secure with money in the bank than shiney new polish on my toes. I plan to go back to school, which will be a big expense but my frugal habits have me ready for it.
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Scarfish,
Now you’re dong something right. I think for those of us who live in expensive cities without high salaries, some of these habits are a necessity. But for you, it’s paid off in home ownership, further education, and reaching toward your goals.
I hope that will be the case for me someday, too. Unfortunately, though I’ve been frugal by nature, I guess, I could have been much better in other financial areas, like budgeting, which we’ve only just started to do now (I’ve always lived within my means, but am sure I could have saved much more if I used a budget), and have had bad luck in the form of serious illness that is pretty disabling and limits my income and raises my spending, and so I haven’t seen that payoff from my frugality.
Now, my husband and I are working on rectifying that and really taking control of our finances and trying to figure out how the hell to make it when medical costs often far outweigh our ability to pay them!!
You are doing great and I hope one day to be in your shoes. I absolutely LOVE New York, and it’s mine and my husband’s dream to live there someday for good.
Thanks for your comment.
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Your article seems to contradict what you say in comments.
So yes, you probably did concentrate too much on what you don’t do, and neglected to mention the areas where you do spend money.
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I must say, as I was reading the list, I was thinking the same things as some of the other commenters. Life is for living, I wouldn’t give up some of my more “extravagant” purchases, like vacations and good wine for more money in the bank. I just bought new furniture for my home office last weekend, replacing all of my mismatched purchases from the last 10 years, and I am sooo happy that everything now matches, and it is so much more efficient in my space. Fortunately I am in a position that I didn’t have to go into debt to make the purchase. I had to weigh my option of continuing to live with an ineffective mish mash every day, or keeping my bank account up $3000. For me it wasn’t a hard decision. I don’t need to be the richest person in the graveyard, I would rather lead a rich life. That doesn’t mean I spend money like water, I do many of the things listed as well; I eat at home almost everyday, make my own coffee, get most of my entertainment from the library, etc. It’s all about balance. As long as you have enough balance for you, what you are doing is just fine.
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Your list does come off as living a pretty miserable existence. Some things I do as well – I get maybe two pedicures a year, haven’t had a prof. massage in years, and go to Great Clips for a $15 haircut every two-three months. We make coffee at home, and pack sandwiches and chips for lunch. We’re looking into splitting the cost of a beach house for the weekend with ten other people. When we take trips out of town, we stay with friends instead of hotels. But come on, surely you can have a tea or coke with your dinner? (unless it’s due to a medical condition) Do you splurge on a dessert? Do you just not like to drink alcohol, or are you abstaining purely to save money? There’s nothing like a well made chocolate martini, and at $7 a pop, it’s a nice, rare splurge.
I dunno. I’m glad you’re comfortable with the way you’re doing things, and it’s working for you! That’s what counts! It’s kind of like dieting, though – you have to let yourself enjoy something once in a while or you’ll be miserable. And if you enjoy free trips to the pool, fine! If you enjoy spending $50 for dinner and a drink, go for it. We only get one life to live!
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Maitresse,
That was the point of the post, what I’m doing right as far as frugality, so it would have defeated the purpose of the post to write about where I am spending money when the post is about how I am savingmoney.
But the comments are a good place to put the post in context, which is what I have done. Thanks for your input.
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Verena,
Thanks. I realize the context is what makes the perspective here. I didn’t mean to present the list and make it appear as if I am suffering or depriving myself. Sure, I may loosen the belt a bit, so to speak, if and when we have more money to work with, but most of these habits are ones I would keep regardless of whether I had a bit more money or not.
I spend, when I can, on what I value. Luckily, I’ve been able to find ways to do what I value without spending a fortune. And I did say I spend on quality items, so that does mean paying a bit more than I could on items I intend to use longterm, such as clothing, rather than skimping and having to replace the item regularly.
But as you said, it’s about what you value, and I guess without knowing what’s important to me, the list makes it seem that I am depriving myself. I do have to deprive myself in some ways, but overall I find ways to do the things that matter as much as I can.
If I had more money would I spend more on the things that I value? Of course. But what’s on this list are the things I don’t value most in life (minus going to weddings of loved ones and maybe one or two other things).
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If you’re really only replacing your running shoes once or twice a year, you’ll be spending a lot more $$ on your knee/foot/back problems than you ever save on gym memberships. Midsoles start to break down at about 350 miles. Please do some research on this before you injure yourself!
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M,
Bravo! I don’t think what you’ve described is the slightest bit miserable, but I wasn’t surprised by the comments.
Some people are driven by how much they consume and others by how far they can make resources go. I understand your circumstances dictate a certain amount of necessity to what others may think of as “excessively un-fun”, but I can see (happily) that a lot of it is by choice and you do what’s important to you.
I didn’t look at your list with a “tsk, tsk, she needs to live” shake of the head as others did, but instead with a degree of envy. I am actively trying to simplify my consumption and get a little better every day.
Happiness, living, spending and saving are all very subjective topics… and what works for you others can’t see themselves doing, and vice versa. Personally, I think you have a very healthy outlook on life and what’s truly important and when it’s ok (for you) to splurge. Anyway, bravo.
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I think it’s better to live well and increase your income than turn your life into one big chore…but have money to not spend.
One Man. One Year. $100,000 online. Good living.
http://www.oneyeargoal.com
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Thanks Jason. I LOVE your comment and it’s nice to see that my approach is appealing for some. I think you totally get it that this is how I am choosing to live, and only one portion of those choices are influenced and dictated by necessity and finances.
I think what people aren’t seeing (and maybe I didn’t explain well) is by finding things to not spend on, we are able to spend on things we love. For example, because we share meals when dining out, we are able to dine at some of the nation’s top restaurants, and our bill is probably less than some couples spend on dining out at, say, Olive Garden or the local restaurant or wherever, a few times a week.
The point is we pay a lot to live in an pricey area, but that affords us so much of what we love at low prices. We can see a world class ballet, opera, museum etc. for the equivalent cost of going to the movies. We spend afternoons in the city walking around and enjoying the atmosphere for a few dollars’ cost of crossing a bridge or taking a train there.
So, it’s all a give and take. I guess what people assumed is the things I’m giving up are things I’d love to have but am not allowing myself. Granted, I still need to and want to keep costs down even with the things I love, but I’ve managed to find cheaper ways of doing what I love and not depriving myself (e.g going to the library and reading like mad–one of my favorite activities–without spending a dime).
Thanks for your comment–I totally appreciate it!!
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[...] the Webmaster Link to Article un studio What I’m Doing Right » Posted at Get Rich Slowly on Thursday, August [...]
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By the way, I love getting the feedback on my habits–thanks to everyone who has commented– but I’d also be really interested in hearing an answer to the other part of my question: what are your habits that you’re proud of, and what are the ways you find to save so you can spend on the areas that really matter to you. What are the things you think YOU are doing right?
It would be great to hear because I think we can learn a lot from others, and it’s always enlightening to see how different people live their lives and focus on their priorities.
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m –
I think your list sounds wonderful and I totally understood what you were saying. You have simplified and find pleasure in things that are also thrifty living. Don’t let some of the commenters trip you up into thinking you’re miserable.
The fact is, you’ve developed a lifestyle that works for you. You don’t “live life” by splurging on lattes and expensive dinners, or trips.
And I bet if there was a trip you REALLY wanted to take, you’d find a way to do it. The fact of it is that often family makes us feel we HAVE to take a trip — it’s smarter not to take trips you can’t afford, especially if they aren’t trips you especially want to take.
My list is similar, except that I still eat out more than my budget cares to. But that is because I am super-busy and it stresses me out to have to fix all my food at home.
Keep on doing what you’re doing.
db
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I also don’t believe what you described is miserable. As I read your list, I was going ‘yep, do that, yep, that one too’.
I’ve been a single mom of 3 children for many years. As they’re getting older, I finally feel like I can breathe a little bit with my finances; but instead of rushing to spend it on unnecessary things, I’m thinking of how to use it to fund my retirement. (Actually I need to think of how to get the last two through college..sigh) I’m in my mid-40′s with little to nothing saved due to the expenses of raising kids. I almost feel in panic mode for not having any savings. However, I have no credit card debt, can get us groceries for a month with $300 (sales and coupons) and my car is paid off. When we travel, I’m great at finding hotel deals and realize renting a car is better than stressing my older car on long trips. My entertainment expense is a Netflix account. We go to the park, play board games and visit with friends. We live in a safe neighborhood and my kids go to great schools. I am definitely frightened at not having savings or retirement funds….that’s a plan I’m working on now.
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Why on earth would you take greyhound if you own a car?
Greyhound from SF to LA is $45/each, so $90 for two people. This takes 8-12 hours each way. (let’s say 10)
Assuming 400 miles each way, at 25mpg and $3/gallon, it costs $96 to drive to LA. This takes 5 hours each way.
So, you give up 20 hours of your time (10 hours each) to save $6. I hope you’re teaching salary is more than $0.30/hour.
If you’re going to be taking greyhound and public transit everywhere, why do you have a car?
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Tyler
If you read my post, you’ll see we take bus for 4-5 hour long trips. That means a 4-5 hour bus ride, not an 8-12 hour bus ride.
We have a car because 1) we have a dog and he is not allowed on most public transit and we do take him places, such as parks and trips 2) public transit, sadly, does not go everywhere we would like to go and need to go and 3) my health does makes public transit an option in every instance.
Also, if you read the post you’ll see it says we take the bus in place of plane or train and not in place of driving. That means we take the bus for trips taht the other option for us would be flying or Amtrak, and not that we take the bus for trips where driving is an option for us.
So, for instance we drive from SF to LA, because we wouldn’t consider plane or train in that case, but we bus from DC to NY, because in that situation our other option would be plane or tain.
Thanks for your interest in my post.
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Thanks DB. No worries, none of the comments make me question what I’m doing in the least.
You’re quite right in your interpretation of my post and choices. And you’re right in your advice. Since I am very happy with my choices and habits, and know my priorities and values, comments to the contrary don’t sway me in any way. But I do find value in them in that they begin a discussion and a chance for all of us to think about different ways to live, and in that they expose me to other lifestyles and values that differ from mine.
I live in one of the best places in this country if not the world, I’ve lived in and/or visited many of the top cities (in my view) in the nation and most places in between the two coasts. I’ve been to some of the best museums, restaurants and enjoyed some of the best cultural experiences and natural beauty this nation has to offer, and I have a rich, creative, healthy, very fulfilling life.
Best of all, I have my education, my intellect, my creativity, lots of arts and literature in my life to enjoy, and most important of all, I am happy with who I am, I have love and a very happy marriage–none of which require money but are all I need to be “rich.” My life is quite good (despite my very poor health which is affecting our finances) and I couldn’t be happier every day with all I have and can do and have done.
Thanks so much for your comment. You are one of the ones who “get” my choices, and though I appreciate all the comments, of course it’s nice to hear that some people see the value in what you’re doing. If no one did though, I still wouldn’t change a thing! Thanks for writing.
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I realize the point of the post was what you’re doing right, but this is so subjective. I think it would be better if you tried to appeal to a larger audience, or gave a bit more perspective.
For example, you own a dog. That is a big expense, and for nothing! Yet you often miss weddings. Well, that’s where your priorities lie, but you might want to stress that this is only based on your own priorities, and offer it as food for thought. You want to do art and go to movies, I want to go to Jamaica once in a while. I’m sure neither of us can do what we really want if we spend money on things that aren’t a high priority for us.
In short, you simply didn’t appeal to the majority of your intended audience, in my opinion. “Right” is highly subjective.
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Maitresse
Sorry you feel that way but I am quite happy with my post and my writing. I think it is understood that a writer writes from his or her own perspective, not that of others, so of course when I say what I’d doing right, I mean by my standards. I hope you will find other posts to read that are more to your liking and that appeal to what you percieve is the intended audience. Best wishes to you!
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I really do hope JD lets you do a post about finances and chronic illness. I don’t think many people truly understand whats involved. I’m in a similar position to you. My wife is very sick and even with my health insurance which is honestly better than almost any plan I’ve seen its still a lot of money. It isn’t just the doctors bills, there is so much more involved than that.
I agree with a lot of your list but the whole sharing a meal when going out just won’t work for me. I usually eat my meal and finish off my wifes for her, and I only weigh 144 pounds
Also the whole no big vacations and no trips abroad I could never do. Right now I agree but once all our debt is paid off I am going to save for a nice vacation. I loved the trip to Europe I took 7 years ago and really want to take my wife. Also I had a lot of fun at disney world when I was little and would like to take my daughter. Obviously these won’t be trips we take every year but I feel they are worth putting away a little extra for a few years to take.
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Sorry I’m not sure if my response to Tyler was clear. The point was supposed to be that we use Greyhound rather than flying somewhere close or taking a train somewhere close.
If we are able to drive, then plane or train are usually not even options, and we just drive. The reason we bus to NY from DC is because driving to NY can be pricey due to parking and is often inconvenient. The reason we don’t fly to NY or take a train is b/c the bus is infinitely cheaper. Hope that explains it.
To all who wrote in–
I appreciate all the comments here very much. Thanks for all who weighed in. What I take away from this exchange is that we all have different priorities and as long as we make room for are priorities without damaging our finances, we are all doing pretty well I would say.
I am happy with my choices but I know many of the rest of you might not make the same choices as me, and that doesn’t make any of us right or wrong.
My main point here was to remember to take stock of the good habits you already have, and I hope my post has served at least part of its purpose, since many of you confirmed just how happy you are with your choices by comparing them to mine and deciding you are quite content with your own way of life.
In responding to comments on my lifestyle, I, too, had the opportunity to confirm to myself just how happy I am with my choices.
I’ve enjoyed getting the feedback, and will try to respond again later if there are more comments. Please feel free to stop by and visit me on M’s Blog and Bay Area Love Letters.
Best,
M
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My links didn’t work in the comment above, but J.D.’s put them in in the post above. Hope to hear from some of you over where I hang out nearly every day: M’s Blog and Bay Area Love Letters.
Best,
M
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Just saw SICKO. If your problems are because of the US medical system, maybe you can get your meds/treatments cheaper by taking a 4-5 hour drive to either Canada or Mexico. I go the alternative health route myself because I don’t trust conventional treatments. They often make you sicker. Just an opinion, but it has worked for me. I just spent $55 on Frontline for the cat and THEN I found out about brewer’s yeast in the diet. I bought a 3-pack for $1.69 at the store. I estimate it will take about 4-5 days to use each pack, at 1 teaspoon a day in the food. So, I might have to buy another 3-pack for a month and a half treatment: Less than $4 overall. It worked better than Frontline. The only reason I investigated it was because Frontline failed. I’m still treating the house, but found out even the spray I use is only $6, so will go conventional on that. It kills flea larvae too. Every year it amazes me how many choices we truly have, if we just look for them. I can’t believe how ignorant I was to go for the Frontline. It’s the advertising that gets you all the time. You get desperate and there you are out buying another useless product.
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I am kind of surprised at the comments too. I agree with what Jason said, he basically said most of what I wanted to say.
I don’t know how some the people commenting live or what your income is, but my wife and I are trying to live by our own means. We don’t have large salaries and we don’t have support from our parents like others might have. We are trying to pay off debt, save a little for the future, and live on one and a half salaries.
Also I don’t feel that we are all that frugal, we try to save money when we can and plan for the future. I am glad some of you out there think we’re frugal. That makes me feel like I am doing something right, unfortunately with all that we do or maybe don’t do we still don’t have much left over to save. Maybe we are more simple, but most of the points M’s list we would be doing whether we had more money or not.
I also think there are a lot of people that think spending money equates to a “good” life or not spending money equate a “bad” life. a miserable life is ones own choice.
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M, great post. I do a good deal of the things you listed (the remainders don’t pertain to me in particular). I was amazed at how much one can save by not eating out for lunch every day at work! One thing I’d like to add is that I vanpool (no public transit in my area); joined one last fall that picked up about 3 miles from home. I joined a different one two months ago which picks up just half a mile from my house. Vanpooling has been great for the wear and tear on my older car and for the fuel bill as well. I plan on walking to the pick up lot when the weather gets a bit cooler. A bonus: I called my insurance company to see if I could get a rate reduction because of my decreased daily mileage and I did in the amount of $22. Every bit helps. I’ve gotten quite spoiled having someone drive me to and from work so that it now seems like a chore on the odd day that I’ll have to drive due to having to go in early or stay late.
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I don’t think your thriftiness is extreme at all, or a sign of deprivation! And you don’t need to justify your choices to anyone – if you’re happy with your life that’s what counts.
My family practices lots of “extreme” frugality:
We don’t have cable tv or a game system (we rent movies, watch PBS or read).
We never eat out (we eat homemade organic vegetarian meals).
We buy as many items as possible second hand.
We don’t drink soda or eat junk food.
We use the library extensively.
We have a nice, large country home, but very modest furniture and decor.
We drive older model cars.
We reuse baggies (dare I admit this?)
We grind our own grain to make flour for baking; make everything from scratch.
We don’t buy many clothes – just what we really need.
I’ve always cut everyone’s hair in the family.
When we travel, we stay in modest places and make our own meals. We concentrate on inexpensive activities like national parks, hiking, beaches.
On the other hand, we know our priorities and spend accordingly. We have four children, a large house, and only one income – not the cheapest choice, but our family is the core of our existence. We’ve traveled to 42 states, 5 Canadian provinces and China (to adopt our youngest – the whole family went) – also not cheap, but another priority. We have a hot tub (a wonderful luxury for Maine winters) and no debt, not even a mortgage. My husband is self-employed, so we pay for our own health insurance (huuuuge deductible) and there’s no 401k plan. We’re still working on a nice nest egg and helping our kids through the college years.
The funny thing is, we’ve done this on a regular income (50-75K per year). It’s amazing how much saving on little items adds up over the years. We are now financially secure (not independent) because of frugality.
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M asks: “What are the things you think YOU are doing right?” One of the things I’ve been doing for a while is never spending my change. I still spend money when I’m out – the ocassional lunch (not as often as before), gas, etc., but I keep the change from every transaction. At the end of the day, I’ll often have a dollar or more in change. That all gets saved, rolled, and deposited into savings when I next visit the credit union. I find myself depositing something like $10-20 every month. A side effect is that if I realize that I’ve got a large mound of coins at the end of the day, I take a step back and look at all the money I spent that day. Usually, I end up deciding that I didn’t really need to buy that mid-afternoon snack, or perhaps I need to remember to bring my lunch more, or some such insight.
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Dave–
That’s a great tip, thanks for sharing it. I used to save my change when we had laundry at home and lived in a more suburban area, but now it’s paid laundry machines in our apt. bldg. so we save almost of our change for laundry and parking meters!! But you’re right, once you get used to saving regularly, you question expenditures more and end up cutting back on some of the spending that isn’t really necessary.
And Trina–
Wow, I wish you had a blog, I’d love to read more about your family. What you describe is really the kind of thing I’m talking about and was hoping to hear more of from readers. I don’t really consider it “extreme,” just a trade-off of giving up what you don’t need in order to have what you value. Good for you!
And Anon–
Sicko is def. on my list to see, thank you.
Tom Baker–
Thanks for your comment on health issues. Health costs are a major issue in our lives right now, and I do and will write more about that on my site, and perhaps on here, too, some day (if J.D. invites me to, of course).
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