We just fired an employee.
Letting a person go is never an easy thing, especially at a small family business like ours. We treat our employees well, and relate to them as real men and women instead of cogs in a machine. But there are times when an employee just isn’t working out, and we’ve got to let him go.
The fellow we just fired was our 21-year-old truck driver. He’s been a little shaky since he started last year, but we attributed that to youth. While on the job, he’s been in an accident, got a ticket for running a red light, and had a total stranger call to complain about his behavior. These are not good things. But we recognized that he had potential, so we tried to foster him along.
Then his attendance — which had never been stellar — began to suffer. His girlfriend broke up with him, so he missed three days to move out of her house. His car constantly had problems. He often left early after he finished deliveries instead of staying to work in the shop. He frequently called in sick.
When he missed the first three days of work this week, we felt we no longer had a choice. This wasn’t working out. We fired him.
Firing an employee is a messy business. No small business likes to do it. There are the headaches — and risks — involved with losing that person, of course, but there’s also the trouble of finding somebody new. The cost of employee turnover is high, both in terms of time and money.
The thing that wrenches at my gut, though, is that this employee just called back in tears. “I’ve lost everything,” he told me. “If I lose this job, I’ll have literally lost everything.”
My heart was breaking for him, and as a person I wanted to say, “Come back, come back,” but I couldn’t do it. We’ve already given him a second chance. And a third. Instead I said, “I know. This sucks. It sucks for us. It really sucks for you. But we don’t have a choice.”
“You don’t understand,” he said. “I’ve lost everything. I’m living with my aunt and uncle. I don’t have a job. I’m going to lose my car on the first if I don’t have the money to pay for it. I’ve lost everything.” He sobbed.
I wanted to tell him that even if we didn’t fire him, he still wouldn’t have money for the car. He’s only been here half a day this pay period, so his paycheck would be close to zero dollars. That’s the same as being fired from a financial perspective. I didn’t say that. What I said was, “What can you do to get money quickly? Do you have anything you can sell? Isn’t there some job you can find where you could start right away?”
He sniffled into the phone.
“I’m serious,” I said. “In a case like this, you’re probably going to have to find something short-term that you feel is beneath you. Flip burgers. Pump gas. Do whatever you can do to make money. We can’t give you this job back, so you’re going to have to do what you can to find some other source of income.”
I continued: “But you should also think long-term. You’re young. You’re only 21. I know you feel like your world is crashing around you, but you’re just starting in life. The best thing you can do right now is decide what your goals are. You like cars, right? And music? Have you thought of doing something with either of these long term?”
“I don’t know,” he whimpered. “I don’t have the education to be a mechanic. I don’t have the schooling. And working in a music store doesn’t pay shit.”
“You’ve got to start somewhere,” I said. “You’ve got to think long-term, but start at the ground floor of whatever it is you want to pursue. If you really love music — and from talking to you I know you do — then start out working for cheap. It’s the best way to achieve your long-term goals. And if you need money right now, you’re going to have to do stuff you don’t really like.”
He sighed deeply. “Man, I know I’ve let you down,” he said. “But I really really really need this job. It’s all I’ve got. Everyone told me I was going to lose it, but I have so much going on in my life right now, you don’t even know. The job is my top priority, but I have so much other shit going on.”
Now it was my turn to sigh. Should I tell him about the time my father died? He started this business and was its guiding force. In the summer of 1995 he died from cancer. Since we’re a family business, everyone here was affected. But you know what? Each of us was here every single day, picking up the pieces. Should I tell him how the guys in the shop all have “so much other shit going on”, and yet they’re here every day, on time, and work a full day? Should I tell him how the foreman went through a divorce that tore him up inside, and still had perfect attendance? I didn’t tell him any of this. Instead I said:
“I know you think this job is your top priority, and I know that’s how it feels to you, but the truth is that the things that are priorities in our lives are the things we actually do. It’s one thing to say something is a priority, but it’s another thing to do it. If this job really were your priority, you would have been here instead of taking three days to move out of your girlfriend’s house. You would have done that after work. You would find another way to get here when your car is in the shop. If this job really were your priority, you would be here.”
“Look,” I said, “I know this is tough. But you have to understand that we have no choice. You’re at rock bottom right now, but you’re only 21. You can recover. You can get back on your feet. But you’ve got to make smart choices.”
We spent fifteen minutes talking. Ultimately the call wasn’t satisfying for either of us. From his perspective, he didn’t get his job back. From my perspective, he didn’t seem to understand that he needs to take responsibility for the things that happen to him. I do not deny that “shit happens”, but it’s how we react to this shit that makes up our character, and determines how successful we’ll be in life.
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You did the right thing. I’m glad you held your ground. It’s the best for both of you.
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He needed to hear that. I hope he’s learnt from it.
good job!
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I find that many young employees these days have a strong sense of entitlement. One of my employees (23 years old) recently quit, and gave me 2 week’s notice. The next day she came in again and asked whether she could still get her bonus, since she was leaving only 4 months before the end of the year… Can you guess my answer?
JD, you did good, but I must admit that you are a more patient man than I am. I would not have the patience to go through the conversation you described, where it just seems the other side is simply not listening and keeps repeating the same point over and over. Good going!
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Not long ago I was in a similar situation and the employee you had to fire. I lost a job and a home at nearly the same time (neither were my fault, but it’s a long story). I could have let the situation defeat me, but instead I moved my family across the country to a state we had never even visited for the one job offer I had. It has turned out to be the best place we ever lived, and we were able improve our financial situation rather quickly. The saying “God will never give you more than you can handle” often comes to mind. Dire situations only defeat you if you let them.
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I agree with Reasonable above. I think you were right to fire the guy but not to give him the advice. You made your statement by firing him. The rest is for him to figure out, or even ultimately to disagree with you on, but not having a job is going to make things tough for a while for him, and that is his real situation right now. To be honest, giving the advice seems really condescending. He is the only one who truly knows his side of this story.
I had to fire a contractor at my last job and immediately got the call back with the sob story. It was definitely the right thing to fire the contractor, but the repercussions in her life were real. I only explained why we were firing her (missed deadlines, unacceptable quality of work).
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Thanks for a very insightful posting, with a real tagline to live by. I now have a reminder up on my monitor where I’ll see it almost every day: “What you really do is who you are; what you say is just moving air. We show our true priorities in life by THINGS WE ACTUALLY DO.”
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Obviously what you have described for this young man, and tried to explain to him, is that his current situation and actions are only a symptom of underlying problems he needs to work on. Sometimes these life lessons are very difficult to learn, and unfortunately many don’t learn from them, rather just feel they are being beaten down by “the man.”
Your advice was sound and heartfelt; hopefully at some point he will take it to heart.
From a personal experience perspective, if he is truly interested in the music industry, a fun way to gain experience is to work on the road with a tour. There are many “roadie” jobs for guitar techs, stage hands, etc. if you are willing to travel, which in his case would help with the housing dilemma. I have personal experience being on the road with tours in other capacities, but have seen several people get started and make a nice long term job experience out of it.
There are always opportunities to fit interests if the individual is willing to put for the time and effort to adapt the opportunity. The question of course would be if this would a chance taken advantage of or squandered as with his current employ with you.
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It’s nice that you took the time to explain to him that his life is not over, he can recover, and maybe make something of his life. You gave him a good kick in the pants. I’m a little shocked that you posted this on your site though. Shouldn’t that be kept confidential?
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A lot of people do not realize what good they have until they loose it. This guy had a good job and blew it to waste. its tough to loose a job but its even more tough to loose a job that was nice to you in everywhere. you did a good thing not taking him back. this will give him a life long lesson and im sure if this guy is smart, he will take this experience into consideration and move to better himself
nice post
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HIPAA relates to privacy of personal healthcare information only. And IANAL, but JD has broken no laws in posting this, although if his employee wanted to bring a case against him for slander he could probably find a lawyer who’d take it. That’s why so many HR departments, when called to give references, will nowadays only give the person’s dates of employment and positions held.
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Wow. Sounds like my 24 year old daughter. I gave my daughter a car. It was used and she used it to give her then boyfriend driving lessons. They went on to get married and the car got a flat and instead of fixing it they leased a car. The old car got towed from the parking lot of the apt complex because you can’t have a non working car according to the lease. Well, long story and now they are seperated and gee, she needs a car. I tried to teach both of my kids that keeping a job has a lot to do with showing up every day and on time.
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