Beating the High Cost of Weddings: How We Did It, and How You Can Too
Published on - November 8th, 2007 (by J.D. Roth) Think you need to spend a fortune to tie the knot? It’s just not so. Kris and I got hitched for a couple grand in 1993. In this guest post from JerichoHill, he explains how he kept costs down for his wedding last summer.
Weddings are expensive affairs. Couples often spend tens of thousands of dollars for an event that lasts only a day or two. I know, I know — the memories last a lifetime. But that’s the catch-phrase of the industry that’s sprung up around this occasion. In economics, this is called conspicuous consumption.
Ramit at I Will Teach You to Be Rich recently wrote an article about the cost of weddings. On average, a wedding costs $28,000. That’s more than half what the typical American household earns in an entire year!
I was married two months ago. Spending a lot on our wedding was not an appealing option, especially since we’re building a home addition at the same time. We managed to spend less than $10,000 on our wedding. You can have all the grandeur of a big wedding on a small budget. Here’s how we did it, and how you can, too.
Photography
.jpg "NOT a photo of Jericho and Mrs. Jericho")
With digital cameras, memory sticks, and a laptop computer, the difference between the equipment available to the average Joe and to a professional photographer has greatly diminished. An argument can be made that a professional photographer can capture that special moment better, but they’re also known to take a lot of pictures of the floral arrangement.
We decided that instead of hiring a photographer, we’d ask our friends and family to bring their digital cameras. Two of our friends are amateur photographers and were thrilled with a chance to use more fancy equipment for the wedding photos. One came armed with the latest techno gadgetry; the other came with an old-style camera (and I mean old-style!). Both friends had an absolute blast taking pictures.
For our reception photos, we asked that everyone take pictures of whatever they fancied, as we figured each social group at our wedding would take plenty of pictures of themselves. When guests left, they simply transfered their pictures onto our laptop computer, which was as easy as sliding the memory card into the appropriate slot and copying the files to our specified folder (which we made obvious).
By asking our friends and family to take pictures, we knew we’d get a lot of good variety, and perhaps a few more comical poses. We were able to pick and choose which to put in our own (free) online wedding album. Our friendly photographer posted the wedding album to PicasaWeb, and linked to a photo-making service so that guests could make prints of the photos they wanted. He added the pictures our friends took to the album, as well.
Chapel
Most colleges have a chapel, which is usually quite nice. Often, alumni of the college can use the chapel for their wedding, free of charge. During the planning stages, my fiancee contacted the chapel administrator at her alma mater. She filled out a few forms, and we had a nice place for a wedding for free because she was an alum. It was beautiful, but was even more meaningful because of her history!
Officiant / Organist
We weren’t picky about the type of religious ceremony we were married under. We were happy to be married by a friend of my wife’s family, who was licensed to perform marriage ceremonies. This added a personal touch. Another family friend was a retired organist, so he performed at our wedding. A deeply religious friend was honored to read from the Bible. Everyone did a marvelous job.
Reception
Renting a reception space is ghastly expensive. Why not have it at your home? My wife’s family welcomed the opportunity. Even though the reception was large, we found a way to make their space work.
Not only does having a reception at home save thousands on renting a space, but it can provide impetus for some much-needed home improvement! The money you would have spent on rent instead becomes new paint, a new patio, or dozens of other improvements that stay with your family after the big day has passed. For our reception, my in-laws’ house was repainted, the patio was re-laid, and the surrounding yard trimmed, pruned, and looked wonderful.
For music at the reception, we had an iPod loaded with tunes. We set that up to run into a speaker set, which an A/V friend of ours hooked up. When we had to interrupt DJ iPod for toasts, cake cutting, or our first dance, we used a switchboard from the local electronics store (very cheap). Otherwise, we hit the party shuffle, and off we went! Thanks, DJ iPod!
Rehearsal Dinner
We used a small restaurant and kept the rehearsal dinner invitations to main family members, the wedding party, and wedding officials. We met everyone else who came in that night at a local watering hole afterwards. I’ve been to some rehearsal dinners that were 60-100 person affairs. I can’t imagine how expensive they must have been!
For alcohol, we compared the restaurant’s wine prices with its corking fee. We found out that it was cheaper to pay the corking fee and just bring our own wine. After the rehearsal dinner, we had a night-time hangout spot lined up (a local bar/pool hall) where we could hang out with the younger crowd (that we couldn’t invite to the rehearsal).
Food
Catering is also expensive. We couldn’t believe how much it would cost for a large reception. Instead, my mother-in-law got creative with some foodstuffs from our local Costco. She enlisted the help of a women’s social club she belongs to — they had a good time getting creative on recipes. Folks marveled at the shrimp the ladies prepared — shrimp that was bought in bulk from Costco.
Clothes
I dressed my groomsman in black suits, since the occasion to wear a tux is normally few and far between. Since they had (or bought) the suit, I bought them matching ties and kerchiefs as their wedding party gifts. My wife was able to use her sister’s wedding dress, and I used an old family tuxedo. (Both fit us very well.)
Conclusion
These are just some of the many ways we reduced the costs associated with our wedding.
Our frugality led to creativity. We added a number of personal touches to the event, and our friends and family were able to help shape and sculpt our wedding day. Wedding memories aren’t made from expensive cakes, but from the oddest of quirks. (We’ll remember most our officiant’s wife telling him to speak up as we started our ceremony.)
Utilize your connections. Reach out and draw upon the community that you grew up in, and you might be surprised. With a good social network and some creative thinking, weddings do not need to be expensive affairs. (Unless you want them to be!)
GRS is committed to helping our readers save and achieve your financial goals.Savings interest rates may be low, but that’s all the more reason to shop for the best rate.Find the highest savings interest rate from Ally Bank, Capital One 360, Everbank, and more.
This article is about Odds and Ends, Planning, Real-Life
Disclaimer: This content is not provided or commissioned by American Express. Opinions expressed here are author's alone, not those of American Express, and have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by American Express. This site may be compensated through American Express Affiliate Program.
Discover is a paid advertiser of this site. Reasonable efforts are made to maintain accurate information. See the Discover online credit card application for full terms and conditions on offers and rewards.
SEARCH FOR RECENT ARTICLES
Great post… My wife and I were in a similar situation and managed to do our whole wedding for $8,000 including the honeymoon. We held the wedding and reception together at a local golf club with about 55 people. My wife used a second hand dress (only worn once
) and the catering was much less expensive because of the fact that it was held in the existing resteraunt portion of the golf club. For our rehersal dinner, we limited to the (small) wedding part and parents and held it at a local pizza shop. For the honeymoon we used my parent’s timeshare. The bottom line is that everyone had a good time and we saved a ton of money. We could have done it for much less if we had wanted to trim the reception.
loading....
I love the idea of having guests downlaod pictures before they leave. It beats the disposable camera’s on the table idea.
I’ve only been married 7 years but it seems like there are so many more money saving options available today.
loading....
So the lesson is: marry a woman who is well connected
loading....
It is possible to do a wedding for next to nothing, but only if you and your intended are on the same page regarding cost. The key is to be tasteful, not cheap, and I think the post above is a good example.
When my wife and I planned our wedding, we talked to our grandparents for ideas to save money and to get ourselves into the right attitude. I found asking family members or friends who married during the Depression/WWII era to describe their weddings was very enlightening. As you can imagine, weddings were kept very simple and low-cost then due to the lack of jobs and the war effort. My grandparents, for instance, were married in clothes they actually wore regularly (my grandma’s best dress and my grandfather’s best suit) and held the reception at home, only inviting twenty to thirty people for cocktails and cake. They already lived in Niagara Falls so they didn’t need to travel for their honeymoon. =)
My wife and I did many of the same thing as the poster and his wife. If you can somehow eliminate the cost of renting a full-size hall for the ceremony and reception, keep the guest list to a manageable amount, and keep things tasteful yet cheap, then you’ll avoid the inevitable heart attack when you view the bills from that special day!
loading....
Nicole,
Rather, utilize all the connections you both have.
loading....
It’s crazy to think that people used to get married for $100.00, nothing fancy, not even a tux in most cases. Just a nice service and a reception in the church basement, now that’s my kind of wedding!
loading....
My wife and I went to the courthouse and got married. $35 for the marriage certificate and the taxpayers of Carbon County, PA covered the judge.
Probably not for everyone, but we liked it.
loading....
A quick tip would be to get married in December near Christmas. All the churches are decked out for Christmas and you don’t have to spend as much or any money decorating. The church my wife grew up in had hundreds of poinsettias all over the church and reception area. We were allowed to move them as long as they got put back. Another good side to getting married at this time of year is that the cruise lines run discounts the weeks before Christmas. This cut about 500 dollars per person off of our honeymoon cruise.
loading....
I understand the desire to be frugal, but there are certain times and milestones in your life where spending a little bit more is worth it. You (hypothetically) are going to only get married once, and in the scheme of things, a few thousand dollars is peanuts over the course of a lifetime.
loading....
Again with the late reply … Assuming a 7% investment rate, that $10,000 extra spent would blossom into $171,442 between age 23 and 65. At a $20/hr wage, that’s 8,572 hours. At 2080 hours/year, that’s 4.12 years of extra work. Hardly peanuts.
Taking into account low investment return AND inflation drops that to 1.25 years of extra work.
loading....
My husband and I decided to keep costs down for our wedding in ’06, considering that it was his third and my second. So, after getting our license (which was relatively cheap, but amusingly done in the same room as firearm licenses and probate filings), we got married in an Irish pub on St. Patrick’s Day. The pub management was kind enough to waive the cover charge for all our friends, and we had 500+ witnesses to our wedding (most of whom we didn’t know). This route is not for everyone, but we had a blast.
loading....
Question: Did you pay for the house repairs and the food at Costco? That wasn’t clear to me.
loading....
We did our wedding for $5000 (not counting photographer which was a gift from my inlaws). My dress was $150. It was gorgeous, but very simple. My veil was another $100. I have simple tastes. Our theme was “simple but elegant”. I designed everything, made the treats and centerpieces, etc. It was beautiful and we never felt like we were on a budget. It can be done. I think our wedding was prettier than another family wedding where the bride’s dress cost what my whole wedding and reception was.
My family had said, we’ll pay for your wedding, but we saved $5000 for you. Anything over that, you pay. Amazing what a budget and some creativity can do!
loading....
Great post! Another thing to think about is saving money for your guests. When my wife and I got married, we visiting several nearby hotels nearby and played them off one another for the right to be included in our save the date note. Didn’t save us money directly, but we felt better being that many people had the expense of flying. Then again, it may have increased the size of our gifts!
loading....
You have to be careful with DJ ipod. Make sure your playlist is music that is good for dancing/partying, not necessarily songs you like. When everybody is on the dancefloor, having a good time, you don’t want a 17 minute classic rock jam to come on.
A good wedding DJ will read the crowd to make sure everyone’s having a good time.
loading....
I have been hoping that JD would post something about weddings! I am getting married in 2 weeks and both agree and disagree with this post. A lot of JerichoHill’s deals were lucky. We have to have a huge wedding because I have over 100 relatives (aunts, uncles and first cousins) who would be extremely offended if they weren’t invited. That rules out having the wedding in someone’s home. We are having an IPod DJ, although because we are having our reception at a restaurant we had to rent speakers and also get liability insurance, which added up.
I don’t agree with having amateur’s take your photos. If you are lucky enough to have friends who are semi-pro photographers, that’s nice, but otherwise I think you get a lot of unusable pictures.
Keeping your wedding inexpensive also depends on where you live. We live in Chicago, where everything is expensive. We opted to have our wedding in the far suburbs (about 45 miles outside the city, where my future in-laws live) and saved at least $10,000.
All in all it is possible to have an inexpensive wedding, but depending on where you live the definition of “inexpensive” varies. Our wedding is costing approximately $22,000 including our honeymoon, although we are only paying $6,000, which is very cheap for 200 guests in the Chicago area.
loading....
Um, your college only has a chapel if it’s private (at least I hope so). That’s not really “most” colleges.
Great post otherwise, though. But, not everyone has a house big enough for a reception…
loading....
I’d want a 17 minute classic rock jam to come on.
loading....
Here’s a tip: Ignore the wedding industry.
I vowed not to give them a dime, and wound up with a fabulous 40′s themed wedding that could have been on the E channel for 300 folks and it was under $2500. ($1000 for the war plane museum we rented, $800 for a full course sit-down BBQ dinner.)
loading....
I have read that the “average cost of a wedding” figure includes travel and lodging costs for guests.
My wedding cost me, my husband and our parents about $5,000. But more than 30 of our guests traveled across the continent and stayed in hotels, which could easily have driven the official figure for event up by another $15,000.
loading....
While we were getting ready for work this morning, Kris and I were trying to remember 15 years ago to how we did our wedding. In the intro to this piece, I have my number wrong. After putting our heads together, we believe we budgeted $1,000 for the wedding and $1,000 for the honeymoon. (We were poor and just out of school!)
Here’s what we did for the wedding:
* We were married by a judge at the county courthouse. This cost us $50. That was all there was to the “ceremony”.
* We organized the reception ourselves. Some close friends helped us with the grunt work.
* We obtained free use of a cafe at the university we had attended. We were able to do this because Kris had managed the place two years earlier, and because we both had good ties at the school.
* Again using those connections, Kris was able to purchase cakes (not a wedding cake, but actually delicious deluxe cakes) at wholesale rates.
* We prepared the other food with our friends.
* We used disposable cameras, which were new at the time.
* We basically created a mid-summer picnic atmosphere.
We had a lot of fun, and think our guests did too. We received a lot of compliments on the low-key affair. Obviously this sort of thing wouldn’t work for everyone. We were fortunate to be like-minded regarding weddings: a big church wedding didn’t fit our value system.
Our honeymoon was similarly cheap. We drove from Portland to Victoria, B.C., where we stayed for a week in a budget motel. Yes, we could have stayed in that deluxe place on the waterfront, but we would rather spend our money having nice dinners and going places and doing things.
We paid for all of this ourselves, which is something we’re still quite proud of.
loading....
I’m going to agree and disagree with this post. I think its great to keep costs down and agree that if you can ignore the wedding industry you can save tons of bucks. On the other hand, I just got married last year (both age 35 it was the first and last wedding for both of us) and I figured (1) I waited a long time to get married I was going to have exactly what I wanted and (2) my husband and I were ‘adults’ and getting married in our back yard just wasn’t going to do it for us (but of course we could have gone that route – it just wasn’t for us). All in all we paid a good amount for the event focusing on and spending money on the things that were important to us: live bad, fabulous location, good food and a lot of alcohol. We spent more than we should of, but it was worth every penny to me, we still talk about our wedding a year later.
loading....
A lot of this is good – BUT…
The pictures – If you want nice pictures, the family way is not the way to go. Yes, technically there will be pictures of your wedding – but if pictures are AT ALL important to you (to some people they aren’t) like even 8 on your top 10 list of things, then you aren’t going to get what you want in the end and you can’t just get a ‘do over’ on that. Remember, if you have any sort of drinking you may have nice pics of the wedding, but everyone puts down their camera to eat and drink. And we all know that drinking leads to, lets just say, ‘creative’ photography.
The food – we didn’t go with a fancy dinner, we got one of the cheapest packages the hotel had to offer. BUT a lot of time the food is what seperates your wedding from just another BBQ. If you have a nice house to have it at – great! But maybe use some of that money you saved to get great steaks instead of sloppy joes.
Location – if you have a great free place, awesome for you! But remember whether its your house or someone elses – all the work that has to go in to prep and a LOT of clean up. And I know the last thing I wanted to do after my wedding is go home and clean up after a giant party. And if it’s outside (most home weddings are) if it rains, consider where you are going to cram everyone in the living room next to the big ugly entertainment center.
And finally – the music. Yes, an Ipod can work. But don’t count on perfect timing for a first dance or anything like that. Or a random song that forgot to get deleted before the wedding. We hired a steel drum band and it only cost about $400 – much cooler than a DJ and everyone loved it.
You need to really sit down and decide what you will be sad about if you don’t have at your wedding. If you really want great pictures of your friends and family on the beach at fun reception, then by all means get a good photographer! But if you’ve never dreamed of a fancy dress, then go for something cheap!
We found that a compromise on what we truly thought we needed and what we could skip – made for a beautiful, resonably priced, day we were proud of.
loading....
Kim – “simple elegance” was our theme too! I was tempted to fall under the spell of “this is a once in a lifetime thing, spend the money, blah blah blah” but we didn’t think it was necessary! We could have forked out money to have everyone we ever met show up, but instead invited only closest friends and immediate family; including the wedding party, there were just under 50 people present. We got married in my MIL’s humongous, 2-story sized sunroom; she also paid for the catering of tex-mex for the rehearsal dinner and wedding dinner. I spent $400 on flowers; MIL went to the flower district the morning of the wedding and filled the house with stargazer lilies and other arrangements. Dress and veil was from David’s Bridal, and a gift from my parents. They also paid for the videography ($800). Oh yeah, and we used an iPod for the ceremony/post-ceremony music as well. We only had one ‘mess up’ with cuing the music for the recession after the ceremony, but who cares. It made a memory! Photography was done as a gift from a friend, and we just paid for the prints we wanted. Honeymoon was a week in Vegas. I think in total, maybe $6-7k was spent. I had someone tell me that they liked our wedding more than their daughter’s $20k wedding. THAT has to tell you something!
loading....
“A quick tip would be to get married in December near Christmas.”
I would have to disagree on this one. The points made in this comment were good – but if you are planning on renting any equipment or space the cost during the holidays usually triples. I used to be an event planner for a company and due to the huge amount of corporate holiday parties and charity fundraisers – space and equipment are at a premium. Even other vendors – like DJ’s and photographers increase their rates and are usually booked months, and months in advance.
Plus – how many friends/family members will already have plans for that time of the year? My guess is that Christmas/Thanksgiving with their families will be higher on their list than your wedding.
loading....
We eloped to Hawaii in 1991. The week in HI plus the wedding in a park over looking a waterfall cost about $5000 total.
We’ve never regretted it.
loading....
We had our wedding in St. Thomas, USVI and the total cost (wedding on the beach, harpist, JOP, champagne on the beach, cake, flowers, reception at hotel with steak and open bar) was about $7k US (we’re Canadian) for about 20 people — not including our week there, which was about another 4k (so wedding + honeymoon).
Still, we ended up doing things on the expensive side and had many guests for that kind of wedding. A basic wedding package and a cheap week at one of the best hotels on the island would have been about 4k total for my husband and I.
loading....
I’m confused:
Photography – FREE
Ceremony Location – FREE
Officiant – presumably cheap
Reception Location – FREE
DJ – FREE
Clothes – FREE (with some frugal gifts)
And you still managed to spend $10,000? On food? (There are probably some flowers/decorations that you don’t mention, but still..)
I understand the mentality that this is a once in a lifetime event, and so it is worth spending extra on to make it memorable. However, it will be just as memorable without spending lots of money. And ten grand is a lot of money.
loading....
As a pro wedding photographer, I have spoken to many regretful people who had an amateur or low-budget photographer shoot their wedding. The mistake they made that led to disappointment was expecting professional results.
An amateur will not deliver the type of results you see in bridal magazines or on the pro’s web sites. Uncle Harry’s landscape photos may look great, but he’s never done a wedding, and he doesn’t know how to shoot like that. There is no substitute for hands-on wedding and portrait experience.
As long as you have REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS, and frankly they are pretty low, then hiring a amateur or low-budget photographer will work for you. But, you can’t go back and re-shoot your wedding after you receive embarrassingly poor wedding photos.
loading....
My husband and I got married two years ago and honeymooned in Hawaii all for under $5000. We both are on the same page and value living within our means. Well, at the time our “means” were pretty meager. My family donated the 5K to the effort and his Dad gave us an awesome voucher for our trip to Hawaii which gave us the flights for free with a minimum stay of 7 nights at a nice hotel, which we paid for. THAT was fabulous.
We had the ceremony and reception in our backyard – we rent a basement apartment and the landlord who lives upstairs is a minister so she married us. We did order a big tent in case of rain (there wasn’t any!) but it was great for having shade in July. Instead of pure white, we went with the yellow one they offered at a discount – it went with our décor of sunflowers anyway.
We kept the guest list down and only invited people who we really wanted to be there. Neither of us believe in the “obligation” thing and had no intention of having anyone there that wasn’t over the moon happy for us. That goes along with how we live our lives so it worked out fine. People who weren’t that close to us but may have been offended either got over it or faded away, which is the natural progression.
We did all the decorations and food ourselves, relying on good old Costco for a lot of the staples. My mother in law did a lot of that stuff. We also had a family friend make our amazing cake, which was a gift from my mother in law. Our friends took fabulous pictures and gave them to us on CD. I have many lovely ones and am very happy with how they turned out.
I must give credit where it’s due – my husband is a genius when it comes to planning, decorating, and organizing. I joke all the time that all I did was show up, which isn’t that far from the truth! I also should say this all was planned in under 6 weeks and I got my lovely tea-length dream dress only 3 weeks before the big day. And it was perfect.
I truly believe that the beauty of our wedding was in being together with our loved ones while we exchanged vows. Everything else was window-dressing. Yes, we had a lot of luck but luck is what you make of it – finding and using resources unique to each of us to make life what we want it to be. THAT doesn’t cost anything. And what a wonderful gift we gave each other – starting our life together without getting into debt to do so!
loading....
I’m getting married next year. A lot of the advice is good, and I’ve been reading frugal wedding books as well. However I think it depends on the couple and their families, and what their families’ cultures and traditions are.
We’re having 150 people at our wedding, and that is after we’ve axed a lot of people from the list and removed kids. So I guess I do save a lot of money by eliminating the others, but not nearly enough to keep it under 50 guests, as other posters’ weddings were.
I think the key is to prioritize what’s important to the couple. For instance, photography was a biggie for us, so we allocated more money to photography than other categories.
Unfortunately I don’t know anyone who has a large enough home that would be willing to open their space to us. So we had to go to the banquet route. However, we did get a good deal by not having it on a Saturday night- we saved $3-5000 just by having it on another night!
I also am a bit on crafty side, so am doing my own invitations, favors, etc. So that will help me save.
As far as my dress, I have a specific look in mind, so I don’t think I can do the whole “simple dress” deal, esp since we are getting married in a very ornate and old church. But I am considering ordering a dress online after I tried them on at stores.
It’s also a great idea to utilize the folks around you and use their talents. Weddings back in the day were organized by the whole family, not outside vendors or wedding planners. So if you have a relative who DJs, a friend who does makeup and hair, another person who does photography, ask them to use their talents at your wedding; it’ll be the best gift they can give!
On a final note, to those who haven’t gotten married yet and think that they’ll need to spend money on it, my biggest advice to you is to start saving now for your wedding. Even if you CAN keep it under $5K, it’s still money you’re going to spend that’s out of the ordinary. This also goes to people who are single, or who are in relationships but haven’t discussed marriage yet with their partners. Save now–the worst that can happen is that you find yourself at 90 years old single and with a wedding budget. Well shoot, now you can use it for something else! Point is, if you think you even have a slight inkling to get married in your lifetime, just save for it now, b/c it’ll really help you when it comes down to it (instead of saving up for it in a span of a year or two during your engagement).
loading....
@public college student: A lot of older universities have chapels on campus. It doesn’t have to be a private institution, nor does a chapel mean that the college is a religious one. Virgina Tech has a chapel in the center of campus, William & Mary has a very prominent chapel that’s one of the oldest buildings on the campus (and in the US for that matter)… to name a few public universities.
—
I definitely agree that a really good photographer can make some amazing pictures, even if they are expensive. Shop around, find someone who fits your style, and then expect to pay a lot of money for some really great pics.
I do really like the automated uploading at the end of the night though, wish I had thought of that. Definitely easier than handing out disposable cameras, and how many people actually send the pictures they took back to one place.
I think combining the two (pro and amateur) would be a good idea.
loading....
i got married last june. we spent $7000. the key is calling in every favor you have coming to you, prioritizing what you want, and being creative.
we saved money in a lot of areas, which we were then able to put toward the parts of the wedding that were really important to us: food, drinks, and photography.
we live in a live/work loft with a gallery in it, so we chose to have our ceremony there, which was free. my husband is a designer and had been on the design team for our reception venue, so we got that space for free. then we just had to pay for food, drinks and decor. i chose a fun white cocktail dress instead of a big expensive ‘wedding’ dress. now i can wear it again if i want!
we also chose to get married on a sunday afternoon, which meant we didn’t have to provide dinner for everyone, just some really good appetizers and yummy cupcakes.
so again, get creative and call in every favor you can think of!
loading....
I think one of the biggest things to take away from this post, and applicable in other contexts also, is to USE YOUR CONNECTIONS. Social networking used to be the way almost everything got done. If you needed something done to your house, you didn’t go and hire some random person out of a phonebook. You knew someone, or knew someone who knew someone. And that person is a lot more willing to negotiate and do their best job, since there’s a traceable social connection between you. The power of this is underestimated and underutilized in today’s world.
I also love old cameras. My favorite camera I’ve ever used by far was my dad’s, that he bought in middle school and had refurbished.
Finally, @16:
Not really. Campuses will often have a chapel, even if they are public schools. Especially if they are older campuses, or were once private schools. They probably won’t CALL it a chapel, but it’s there. For instance, UF (my alma mater) has a beautiful chapel:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baughman_Center
UF also has an auditorium that I could see being used for a wedding. It has a nice warm feel to it, more like a performance hall than an auditorium. (And, in fact, there have been several musical performances there.) Not like the auditoriums they do now with whitewashed walls and uncomfortable seats.
loading....
I just got married 6 weeks ago. I decided spending money on a reception hall I was going to be in for only four hours would be better spent on my own house. Now I’m married, I have a completely relandscaped backyard, my house is painted and cleaner than its been in seven years! LOL… I picked out my tablecloth color WAY in advance. I picked the new color of my house months later – imagine my surprise when the two colors matched perfectly! I have great pictures (taken by family/friends) that show a brilliant green backyard, gorgeous yellow tables that match my house and my honey and I absolutely glowing. We worked hard and we both thought the entire thing was perfect. That’s where you want to end up – perfectly happy.
loading....
It’s funny, even though the author of this post linked to Ramit’s wedding article, he still did exactly what Ramit said in the post, and in the comments, not to do. That if you use your family and friends to do all the work you’re not willing to pay for, it’s going to be a bummer for them, and it’s not worth your imagined “savings” or what not.
My cousin had her reception at my parents’ house this summer. My mom and sisters and brothers and I worked our GUTS OUT getting that reception ready. My aunts cooked all the food for three days. I played the harp for free, my sister took the photos.
What happened the day of the wedding? We were running around stressed out it and didn’t really get to enjoy anything. The bride and groom were oblivious to this.
I definitely think having a space where everyone can enjoy your wedding and not have to put in a new deck or repaint walls or whatever the author of this post said, is just common sense for people being able to have a good time at your wedding.
As a professional harpist, I’ve seen a TON of weddings in my day, just my two cents. I’ve seen the crappiest and the most beautiful, and money you spend does not correlate. I will say this though: the wedding industry exists for a reason,- people are willing to pay for the extras, and sometimes its nice to have something extra special, like a harpist at the reception instead of an ipod, instead of making your family step up and do all the work.
loading....
We also had an elegant but low-key and low-cost wedding and reception (almost 14 years ago!). We decided to get married 6 weeks after we got engaged, because I didn’t want to have to plan a wedding for a year.
I was a girl who knew what she wanted for the marriage and honeymoon, but who had never thought about the wedding. I just wanted to get it over with without being tacky or ticking off anyone, and I didn’t want to be in debt afterwards.
I have to recommend the book that helped me save my sanity: Bridal Bargains by Denise and Alan Fields of Windsor Peak Press (http://www.windsorpeak.com/bridalbargains). Weddings are one of those areas where fantasies and ignorance of the industry can kill you financially, and the book covers all areas of a wedding, reception, and honeymoon. It then discusses the price points of various choices and the angles played by the various vendors in the wedding industry, with ideas on how to find bargains and avoid overpaying.
(I have also loved and used their other books. I’m a big fan. I WISH I was associated with them, but I’m not).
loading....
If you feel comfortable asking people to take off a day from work, you can get great rates on midweek weddings.
I had a very, very small wedding, immediate family only. Since it was such an intimate group, I was able to get everyone to take a weekday off from work. Our $800 reception (with prime rib and champagne) would have cost $1500 on a weekend.
loading....
We had a cheap wedding mainly because we only invited our small families (20 guests). The next day we had a bbq at our house for friends (and family). Total cost was probably around $4000.
I hate push posts like this but my co-blogger wrote a post exactly appropriate for this discussion where he discusses his dream wedding which is extremely cheap:
http://cheapcanuck.wordpress.com/2007/09/07/dream-wedding/
loading....
My sister and her husband got married three years ago for about $12,000 in the DC Suburbs. They are quite handy and did the invitations, food, flowers, and decorations themselves – and it was terrible. The months before the event were “wedding bootcamp” – grueling hours of hors d’oeuvre prep, tassel tying, bouquet making, etc. for the whole family. She’s not good with details, and many things ended up waiting until the very last minute – or getting cut from what she wanted.
On that special day, they spent the whole time running around and organizing things, and 10 minutes before the ceremony my sister was hanging decorations in the reception area and trying to stop the cake from falling apart rather than fixing her hair (which didn’t happen – she went down the aisle with her everyday hairstyle after months of research). She relied on friends to show up and help, and many of them showed up late or were preoccupied with their own children.
The next day, she asked if she could have another wedding that was done right. I hope it was a joke, but I’m still not sure.
There are corners to cut, but really think how you want to spend this day!! In the end, my sister wasted a lot of money on decorations that never got hung, food that didn’t get served (the hired waiters bailed early without telling anyone because their wage was so low), and alcohol that nobody drank. There was a DJ, but she got a cheap one who didn’t play the songs she had asked for. There was a photographer, but he did a terrible (missing heads!) job, and her amateur friends weren’t much better (and took 7 months to send the digital photos over, unretouched).
I don’t know what caused her lapses of judgment, but I learned a lot from it. My realistic big-city wedding budget for my event next fall is about $18,000, not including much transportation or the honeymoon. We’re renting a location, buying the expensive clothes that we want, hiring a caterer, a photographer, and a real DJ. We’ll make the invitations ourselves because we want to, and the same goes for many of the other elements (flowers etc.), but more importantly we’ll spend the next few months in love and looking forward to our future, not cramming in tasks and creating more stress in our already busy lives.
loading....
I’m in my late 20′s. Sometimes I wonder how people in their early 20′s or even late teens (for some girls) get married and survive financially so early on in life.
I had student debt up the wazzoo with no savings to speak off during that time. Getting married and having to incur such huge marriage expenditures would have been financially crippling.
Those times are also when the effects of compound interest are most critical – the earlier the better when it comes to saving and investing.
-Raymond
loading....
My best friend found an excellent way to trim the guest list of her wedding with a minimum of offense to relatives and friends — she was married on December 23rd. (She and her fiance got a sudden deal on a wedding venue that she simply couldn’t pass up.) As a result, she ensured that the guest list would trim itself to those who were willing/able to make the effort to be there. There were a few grumbles, but they mostly came from people who wouldn’t have been very good wedding guests in the first place.
The result was a small, fun, intimate wedding that was the best wedding I’ve ever been to.
loading....
When my sister was getting married, she had all sorts of big plans – reception at the country club, big rehearsal dinner, etc. My parents were paying for the wedding and finally put their foot down. They told my sister that they would pay a certain amount, and any cost over that would be on her. Strangely enough, the plans got scaled back so that everything came in on budget. I’m not advocating dropping $20k on the event, or suggesting you should get by on $500. It seems to me that the trick is to decide just how much you want and can afford to spend, then adjust your plans accordingly.
I can tell you that my wedding was almost 30 years ago and I don’t really recall what exactly her dress looked like or what kind of flower arrangements we had. I seldom look at the photos from the wedding. I remember the excitement and happiness of being married, and I still feel that today – hard to put a price on that. FWIW, I’ve been kidding for years that we should have just gone to Vegas and gotten married by Elvis – she surprised me this year by suggesting that maybe we should do just that to renew our vows for our 30th.
loading....
I just got married in August. I had wanted a Christmas wedding, too, for the same reasons others have noted (the church already is decorated, mostly). However, I had a friend last year get married the first week of January, and I have to second the suggestion NOT to get married around the holidays out of consideration for everyone’s vacation schedule. I hated taking so much time off work all at once.
A few other thoughts:
1. One of the most important things you can do is dismiss the wedding industry entirely. Also, this is not a contest – give up competing with your neighbor’s overblown bash. More money does not = more meaningful.
I tried on a few dresses at an upscale boutique (in the $1-10,000 range) and had to laugh when the salesperson said, “this dress, this says ‘forever.’” No, the fate of my marriage does not hang on which wedding dress I buy, thank you.
2. We designed our own invitations and had them printed at our alma mater’s print shop. We did the programs the same way, printing them at the community college’s print shop in my hometown. We paid less than $50 total for both.
3. Try Target.com for bridesmaid dresses. It’s a little scary ordering online for things, but I believe you can take it back to the store. Don’t think you need to buy “official” bridesmaid dresses; any nice outfit will do.
4. In the South, it’s not unusual not to serve a full meal after a wedding. Fancy hor’dourves are good, too. We didn’t go this route (my in-laws paid for the catering at the reception), but we did cut costs by having the reception in the church fellowship hall and going buffet-style.
5. We had the wedding in the morning. The ceremony started at 11am, the luncheon reception immediately followed, and it was all over by 3pm (at least from my perspective
). No dancing no alcohol = lots of savings.
Remember when planning a wedding: You marrying a wonderful person whom you love surrounded by friends and family who love you. There are only so many things about that day that can go wrong.
loading....
@ Velvet Jones
–Some of the repair items we did get done at Costco (or rather, through their contractors) along with food.
@ Michael Rubin
–I forget to mention that, but yes, we did play the hotels against each other. That was quite fun.
@ Icup
–DJ Ipod worked just fine, since anyone could come up and put on another song. In effect, our guests were our DJs.
–The average cost of a wedding figure I cited I don’t think included guests. Most of our guests didn’t come from more than 1 state away, and we specifically planned the wedding so that guests would not feel obligated to stay over friday night.
@ Sam
–I won’t disagree with folks who want a big wedding. Its good to recognize what your wants are. However, if you’re really not going to want a big wedding, I wanted to help out with some tips. That, and I think we got pretty frugal with the doing a wedding and our addition at the same time. That’s alot of checks!
@ Rachel
–Our two amatuer photographer friends took wonderful pictures. I believe this was a function of who they were, but we knew that going in. And thankfully, no one got drunk enought to take creative pictures. We didn’t buy enough hard booze for that!
@ Joe
–The 10,000 figure can be broken down into
1) Rehearsal Dinner = 1,000 (paid by my parents)
2) Painting and Updating Home = 2,000
3) Reception Food = 2,000
4) Gifts for wedding party / officiant = 500
5) Misc = 5,000
So we really should have changed it to 6,000
@ Amelia
–She has great comments. We also had a tent in case of rain.
@typome
–We had 100 guests at the chapel and about 150 at the reception
@bob
–The wedding was at W&M’s chapel
@Nicole II
–I can assure the wedding wasn’t a bummer for all involved. Our friends and family lept at the chance to help out, and we had to turn folks away from helping simply because so many people wanted a role. That to me is what friends and family are for. I’d do the same for them.
–In my opinion the wedding industry operates just like the diamond industry. They create demand through marketing. Weddings are, at their simplest, two families joining. There’s no reason to break the bank when its the memories of the little things (like our officiant’s wife yelling at him to speak up) that you’ll remember. Both Julie and I were not in a state of panic before or during or after the wedding. Patching up a sidewalk and a patio wasn’t that busting of a job, and I got to spend time with my father-in-law. Probably some families dont want to go through the work we did to save some money. So in that respect, you can’t fit the square peg in the round hole, so you gotta work with what you have.
Connections, I think Justin nailed it
loading....
@Bethany
–Your comment on bridesmaid dresses is excellent. I think Julie picked up her bridesmaid dresses off the clearance rack at Macy’s. They were lovely dresses and looked way more expensive than what they cost. Plus, Julie made sure to pick something that her bridesmaids would look good in! (I hear that doesnt happen much)
loading....
I see some people are concerned about not having the dream day for a good price. Or that our cheaper weddings must have been small.
I already said my wedding was $5000 (although admitted that the professional photographer was an inlaw gift, so not counted).
We had our wedding at a beautiful and elaborate chapel. There were almost 150 people there. It was on Jan. 6 (Twelfth Night, Epiphany) so the last day that Xmas decorations are in the church, so place was decorated already, saving us some).
Our reception was at a restaurant, in their banquet room. It was on the bay, overlooking the water and boats (made some beautiful sunset photos for the wedding album).
We rented 1950s fancy cars (one was in the Queen’s corononation in England) to take us from the wedding to the reception.
We had a DJ. We had a nice cake and flowers. I decorated the banquet hall. I made the bows for the flowers. I made the centerpieces (gold spray painted pots with ivy and ribbons planted in them).
It was lovely. And fit the budget.
You can do it. Don’t let the wedding industry convince you otherwise.
I saved money where I could. My dress was gorgeous, but I have simple tastes, which made it easy to save there. No one ever has said anything but lovely comments on my dress and veil. My bridesmaids wore simple long green dresses from a major department store. They were about $90, which is pretty good for this sort of thing. I didn’t look at wedding stores for their stuff, as most of that is too frilly for me, and rather expensive for what it is.
Be creative, folks. Establish your priorities and do some research, and don’t give up. It can be done!
loading....
With all due respect for all the comments, and an equal disgust with the wedding industry, the one thing I wouldn’t skimp on it the officiant. Your ceremony is the reason for the entire day; to have some dry old judge open a book, read the same dull words and insert your names is sorrowful. It is your gift to your guests to provide an inspiring, moving, funny, and beautiful ceremony, and it’s something you’ll remember -they are also words, ideally, that will tide you through the inevitable rough times in any marriage relationship.
You will find creative, caring officiants through http://www.celebrantfoundation.com. We work all over the country and we create ceremonies that reflect you and your partnership. It’s not just about “making it legal” or “getting it over with” so everyone can party. A true professional, trained to handle that most vital part of the day, will make all the difference in the world.
Celia
loading....
Joe, why would you think an officiant would be cheap or free? Why would you want someone underpaid to be in charge of the most important part of the day?
loading....
Oh – one last thing from a former event planner!
YOU CAN NEGOTIATE!!!
Don’t let those vendors fool you! Wedding planners may cost money – but they know this secret. You know that you want your room on a day that they aren’t busy and they want you to pay $600 for it. Tell them the hotel next door has a room for $400. I would bet you the difference that the price will suddenly drop to at the very least $450. Also READ YOUR CONTRACT – some hotels are real jerks and charge you for stuff like electricity!! (no joke!) or if you have an event for like 30 people and they tell you that you need 3 bartenders. Just say no and write in what you had in mind – but remember if you don’t negotiate BEFORE you sign the contract you are stuck with what you put your name on. BUT SO ARE THEY! My hotel person wasnt expecting me to know what I was doing, so I crossed out the part about the hotel providing the booze and she signed it without looking for my changes. And when she found her mistake I held her to it – while we did let them provide the kegs, we managed to bring in all our wine ($14 a bottle compared to their $50 bottles) and cut back to one bartender.
You are paying a lot of money for a service that you have control over. You don’t like something, change it! But you can’t be a wuss – they will see that and talk you out of changes. Stand your ground and say that “xxx just isnt in the budget and something has to give” and they will make changes to fit.
I guarantee it!
(I also got my buffet dinner down from $28 a plate to $10 this way just by switching out a few items!)
loading....
I almost think this post goes against the normal, fantastic frugal advice found here. I think better advice is to figure out your budget, and then put your money into what you value.
I’m an expensive, niche wedding photographer and couldn’t afford myself. My wife and I valued the “community” of our wedding and spent HALF of our budget on a live band. Our guests loved our outdoor ceremony, relaxed atmosphere, and the fantastic live party.
Put your money in what you value! People will see and appreciate what you value, and be excited with you. Don’t just aim for the cheapest wedding as your guest will feel like that….that they are guests at a cheap wedding
loading....