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In 2004 Dr. Michael Lynn, associate professor at the Cornell University School of Hotel Administration, produced a paper entitled “Mega Tips: Scientifically Tested Techniques to Increase Your Tips” [PDF]. If you work in a restaurant, reading this pamphlet could help you increase your earnings. But if you don’t work in food service, knowing these techniques may help you separate good service from subtle manipulation! Lynn writes:
The techniques described [here] were mostly tested in low to mid-priced, casual dining restaurants. Thus, these techniques should work in such informal operations as [Applebee’s, Chili’s, Denny’s, Olive Garden, Outback Steakhouse, and TGI Friday’s]. On the other hand, these techniques may not work in more formal, upscale restaurants such as Chart House, Morton’s of Chicago, or Ruth Chris Steak House. In fact, most of the techniques would be inappropriate in the more formal atmosphere of fine dining restaurants.
Among the scientifically-tested techniques to improve tips are these:
- Wear something unusual — “Although you must usually wear a server’s uniform at work, add a distinctive element of clothing, jewelry or other adornment to your uniforms so that you stand out. This will help customers perceive you as an individual person rather than a faceless member of the staff.”
- Introduce yourself by name — Because introducing yourself can make you seem friendly and polite, the customer is more likely to feel empathy toward the server, thus increasing tips.
- Squat next to the table — Oh, how I hate when a server does this, and yet research continues to indicate that it leads to increased tips. In fact, it makes a difference of about 20% (or $1/per table).
- Repeat customers’ orders — Repeating orders demonstrates that the server has the information correct.
- Smile at customers — “Research has confirmed the cultural wisdom on smiling and has found that smiling people are perceived as more attractive, sincere, sociable and competent than are unsmiling people.”
- Sell, sell, sell — In college I applied for a job at Red Robin. “What’s the best way to increase your tips?” the manager asked me during the interview. I gave every answer but the one he was looking for: sell more stuff.
- Touch customers — Research shows that casually touching customers increases the tips of both male and female servers, but it’s more effective with young customers than with older customers.
- Write “thank you” or draw pictures on the check — These little messages convey friendliness and encourage goodwill.
- Give customers candy — “People generally feel obligated to reciprocate when they receive gifts from others. You can benefit from this by giving your customers after-dinner mints or candies. Upon receiving such gifts, most customers will reciprocate by increasing their tips.”

I don’t blame servers for employing these techniques to improve their earnings — I waited tables for several years and drew many smiley faces on customer checks — but I hope they don’t blame me if I decide to base my tips on the quality of service. If you really want to earn more from me, keep my water glass filled!
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January 29th, 2008 at 5:06 am
that’s strange, as a customer I don’t care about most of those tricks the servers pull. the only test I have for them is if they bring me more water before I run out. if so, they get a tip. and heh, same thing for JD!
oh, the touching thing… keep your hands off of me!
January 29th, 2008 at 5:23 am
I don’t like to be touched by people I don’t know.
Also, the squatting thing seems to have been replaced around here, at least when the party is seated in a booth, by the server sliding in to sit down while taking the order.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:27 am
I waited tables for years, and the best advice that I could give is to anticipate what people need. If they’re eating something spicy, bring more water; if they’re eating something messy, bring an extra napkin; if they’re sharing a dish, bring out an extra plate…before they have to ask.
Oh, and I definitely agree with LM on the touching.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:43 am
I think this list leaves out the most basic ones! Be friendly, be accessible, be attentive, and be professional…
The ones listed would make you a bit sneaky in my opinion, and lots of them are absolutely inappropriate in most of the places i chose to eat out!
BTW, I can’t stand when waiters touch me! Sure way to get no tip at all, and a remark to not touch me again! Absolute no-no!
January 29th, 2008 at 5:54 am
After our softball games in the summer, our team frequents a local bar. We go there because the beer is cheap, and the service is excellent. They know that we are regulars so we tend to get more attention and more service. Servers: Remember your regulars!
There’s a small Mexican restaurant 3 blocks from our home. It’s a trendy place, but it is quite small (like 10 tables). Again, we are regular customers who eat there about 1 time a month. Since they only have 2 servers, they know us, and they know what we like to drink, and they know that I really like their chips. I almost always get extra chips from them without asking, or get a doggie bag of chips for the home. This increases their tips because I feel like I was served excellently.
January 29th, 2008 at 6:04 am
Love the pic.. Welcome to Chaskies! is someone having a case on the Mondays??
January 29th, 2008 at 6:12 am
I think the reason for the touching is to help form a bond w/the person. While it may only be a perceived bond, when someone touches another, you are forced to see them as a person, and not as a member of the staff. Thus you will be more likely to tip better. However, there are a few people who this would have the opposite effect on…but I would imagine a simple touch on the shoulder or something similar would not bother most people.
January 29th, 2008 at 6:24 am
I dunno, I have a tendency to start avoiding restaurants where servers do things like this. I won’t tip less over them, but I will stop going there if devices like these seem to be restaurant policy.
January 29th, 2008 at 6:30 am
I was a server at Ruby Tuesday back 20 years ago. My best tip was to buddy up with someone waiting on the section next to mine. I would run her orders out, she would run mine, I would make sure her customers had their tea/water/soda glasses filled when I re-filled mine.
We didn’t split our tip money, but both of us would see increases because of our team efforts.
January 29th, 2008 at 6:30 am
I am “older” (between 50 and 60) and I definitely do not want to be touched by servers, ever.
I start out assuming I’ll leave 20% and the amount goes up or down depending on several things that happen or don’t happen.
It goes way down if they become inattentive because I’m a woman eating alone or with a female companion. The idea that women tend to tip poorly is not true, but servers can make that happen by assuming it will.
It goes up if I get someone like Mikell in comment #2, who anticipates what I might want or need.
It goes down if there are two or more of us and the server keeps saying “you guys” to us. I’m not a guy!
It goes up in general when I get the feeling that the person cares — about me and about their job. And it goes down when I get the feeling the server would rather be somewhere else or have a different customer to wait on.
January 29th, 2008 at 6:44 am
While these things can increase tips, they must be done *in addition* to giving good service. And as Mikell said, extra service will increase tips much more than these little tricks.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:07 am
The tips listed here might increase my standard tip if the service is otherwise good, but if they exist in a vacuum, forget it.
And as far as touching goes: Don’t even think about it. I don’t care if it’s just the shoulder. That is presumptuous and will lose you any tip you might have had, and quite possibly earn you a complaint to your manager. In no other line of service would it be permissible to touch a customer without their permission; just because you’re in a restaurant does not suddenly make it OK.
It’s not hard to get a good tip out of me. At this point, not spilling my drink order all over me will pretty much do it. I’ve received so much bad service lately that I’ll reward even mediocre waitstaff, just for sending me home clean.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:07 am
When i was at school, i waited tables in a bar. A co worker, Simon, always received twice the tips I got. Now i know how it did it. He did all the things suggested (wore a loud tie, sat or squatted next to the table etc)
He ALWAYS touched on the shoulder, (which i always felt too uncomfortable to do)
i wish i knew then what i know now!
January 29th, 2008 at 7:35 am
The way to get a good tip out of me — smile and be polite, keep my beverage filled and come around a few times to make sure everything is ok.
Most of this list wouldn’t be noticed — but KEEP SELLING ME? That would keep me from coming back to the restaurant.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:37 am
The number one way to lose a tip? Chat with your coworkers where I can see you.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:39 am
Lol, i’m exactly the same as everyone else here, no touching!! Crikey. Not something i’m enthralled to see recommended to servers.
I tip if a server is pleasant, professional but happy to joke if i’m feeling talkative. Servers that try too hard just make me uncomfortable. To be honest though, i hardly ever tip, because i’m a stingy sod.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:45 am
I’ve been hoping you’d write about this for a while. I always have difficulty resolving frugality and tipping. My wife always says I tip too much. The best way to get money out of me might be to tell me I don’t have to pay/can pay whatever I feel is appropriate.
Of course, the average percent tip where I live tends to run in the single digits. That must drive the servers crazy.
Regarding the objections to servers touching people, it’s certainly a cultural thing. In some places it’s considered friendly, in others inappropriate. But, if done properly, especially in regions where this sort of thing is more acceptable, most people won’t even take conscious note it. We are more easily and frequently manipulated than we believe.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:49 am
I would like the server to write down my order. I hate when the server is yelling out ‘Hamburger-no fries’ when I’m in the middle of a conversation with my friends. If they wrote it down, they could place it in front of me and not interrupt my conversation. Tips go up when food isn’t auctioned off. I don’t even remember what I ordered sometime, so everyone sits there staring at the waiter because no one remembers what they got. Ha!
Last night I went out for restaurant week (Baltimore) and the server could see that my friend and I had a lot of catching up to do. After dinner, she didn’t try to sell us a coffee. If she had, I would have ordered one. Upsell if you can, but don’t make it obvious. You never know when someone might want a dessert or coffee and sometimes all it takes is for someone to ask.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:59 am
I absolutely despise the whole squat and stare, and hate even worse when servers sit in the booth across from you. It’s just unprofessional to me. It takes a while to learn the exact timing of checking up on folks without being too clingy, and not being too inattentive. If you get it down just right you can make decent money as a server.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:00 am
@anne
I’m not sure where you’re from, but here, “you guys” has long ago become sex-neutral. While I understand that you might not see it that way, I would also ask that you be understanding in that other people don’t think about it the same way as you!
I agree that I would not like to be touched, but I also would not necessarily modify their tip. If it seemed like something they do often, I would politely let them know that I would rather them not. If they continue after that point, then I would think about the tip.
For something other than inattentiveness, I would never punish the server for something they might not even realize bothers me, without first giving them a chance to correct it! But not doing your job, that’s unacceptable.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:06 am
But if you are/were a server and you know these tricks, they seem fake and a little annoying. But I always tip well anyway, barring rude/bad service
Many people tip what they tip and the margin of adjustment isn’t that large.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:19 am
I don’t mind being touched by someone I don’t know, as long as she’s cute. What I look for in a waiter/waitress: attentiveness, accuracy, and timing. That’s how I base my tips — at least consciously. *Subconsciously* I probably favor cute young women who slightly flirt with me (which never happens when I’m out with my girlfriend).
January 29th, 2008 at 8:23 am
The “I’m X and I’ll be your server tonight” is actually too friendly for me. I don’t care what name they want to use that night. I’m always tempted to reply, “I’m elisabeth and this is dan and we’d like to be left alone to eat…” because that’s what get the big tips from us — unobtrusive service. And not being rushed. We do understand that if we’re at a table for a long time we “owe” more tip, but we don’t want to be rushed through a meal…
Speaking of over friendly, I was with a friend once for lunch and the server inserted herself into our conversation, with her own opionion on the topic. That was the way weird and did not increase her tip.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:24 am
I worked in retaurants for many years as a server and cook and can tell you first hand that these techniques do work fairly well with a lot of people. I was never really a toucher though, I’m not convinced about that one but a little bit of low key flirting goes a long way. Not with everyone (heck, not with me) but with a lot of people. I just like a server that is polite and attentive. From my experience I’m usually very tuned into the service aspect of things and aware when a situation is out of my servers control (ie so busy they can’t help but miss a step, the kitchen is backed up or the food is prepared incorrectly) and won’t tip lower in those circumstances.
The one thing that annoys me to no end though is when servers try so hard to romance the food. If I order a grilled cheese sandwich I don’t need to hear “Oh excellent choice sir, our Chef starts with 2 thick slices of texas toast, a unique blend of tangy swiss and sharp cheddar cheeses, heated on our stovetop until the cheese is perfectly melted and delicious and the bread is toasted to perfection, a wonderful golden brown. Then he serves it with a generous helping of our signature fresh cut fries, our tasty house made coleslaw and a crispy, juicy pickle.”
I hated having to do that as a server and I hate now when servers do it to me. A general description of what I’m getting or an explanation of a cooking method is great but please keep the “romance” to a minimum (words like “delightful”, “unique”, “tangy”, “signature”), it just sounds like you’re reading from a script head office sent down, which is almost certainly the case.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:24 am
I follow this blog regularly, and like most readers here am trying to learn to be more responsible with my money.
However, unlike most of the readers here - I am currently a server. That’s right - my way of being financially responsible is to take on a 2nd job in order to pay off my bills more quickly. I work at a upscale casual restaurant.
I have several responses to the article and comments that followed.
First, it is fine to base your tips on server performance. But please, 15% is the bare minimum - if you are not happy with your service, you should be asking to speak with a manager, not just leaving without tipping. We are human and if we receive “negative” feedback without any actual given reason, we just assume you’re cheap. If you are happy with my service, please tip 20% and tell the management. They hear negative comments more often than positive ones and a few good words in their ear can do a lot for a server - not only in performance but in esteem.
Remember, servers only make $2.13 an hour and depend on their tips to make a living. Plus, keep in mind that in most restaurants, the server is losing a large percentage of their “take” to others - in our restaurant, for example, we have to “tip out” 3% of our sales. So if you only tip 10%, in essence I only get 7%. Plus, we are encouraged to tip out the busboys (who work very hard for very little pay) at the end of the night. Between these two things, I can go home with 40-50 less than I actually “earned”.
As far as other behaviors - touching, squatting, etc - please keep in mind that the server may not know your personal preferences and they may be accustomed to being “touchy”. (I work with several of these). If you prefer not to be touched, disturbed, whatever, just let your server know in a polite way. A good server will make that adjustment.
Finally, please keep in mind that while a server is there to assist you in your meal - and a good one will manage your meal to the utmost - there are things that occur that are beyond their control. While a server is the “face” of the kitchen, they do not cook your food. So unless the food being slow is the fault of the server, please do not fault them by tipping less. Remember, they are up against cooks with an attitude problem, other servers, management, and customers. They are simply trying to manage your meal to the best of their ability. In circumstances like this, please be understanding and realize that its beyond their control.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:39 am
Write down my order! It does not impress me at all when you try to memorize it, it only leaves me worried that you’ll forget something. Getting the correct order 100% of the time will get you a better tip than saving paper and getting it correct 95% of the time.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:42 am
I had a server yesterday who tried to recite one of the specials like it was Drama 101 though he claimed it was “his favorite.”
Something he and the team did well was remember who ordered what. From the runners to the managers, they did not ask what we ordered, they announced what it was as they delivered it. He also asked how everything “looked” just as it was delivered instead of asking how it “tasted” before I could get two bites.
Extra napkins and squatting are appropriate if I’m running low on good napkins or you want to be more personal with me. Outside of that, these canned actions tell me I look like a messy eater and you can’t stand up.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:50 am
Unless I’m dining at Hooters, don’t touch me.
I suppose I tend to tip servers more if they actually make an effort to converse with me. Doesn’t have to be about religion and politics… talk to me about food! Then again, I had the shortest and most miserable table-waiting career in the history of my state, so what do I know?
January 29th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Justin, I understand what you’re saying, and when I’m at a very casual restaurant, I don’t mind the “you guys.” I use the phrase myself when referring to my kids (one of whom is female).
When in a nicer restaurant, I prefer not to be addressed as “you guys.” I should have been more clear.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:58 am
I glanced at the report and want to emphasize that this is a study within the United States. In many other places I’ve traveled servers are professionals and just do a great job for a flat fee. That’s just how it is and how I prefer it. These U.S. table waiting gimmicks are just embarrassing more than anything.
January 29th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Most of these will make me happier with my server. Touching me…I’m very touchy about being touched. I love to hug/touch friends, but I don’t even like to accidentally touch coworkers when handing something to them.
Otherwise, I enjoy a friendly server and though I’ll tip almost anyway, the friendly person will probably get more.
January 29th, 2008 at 9:03 am
I just completed a 3 year session at Denny’s as a Server to pay off a failed business debt. I couldn’t stand the idea of trying to skip out on credit cards because of my mistakes, and I wasnt going to take away from the family funds to pay for the business credit card.
So, with two young boys at home, a full time Network Admin Day Job, and some customer service background, I applied at Denny’s for a late swing shift position. And in 18 months, I paid off the $10K of business debt… and then started working on the personal debt.
Not to toot the horn, but I typically gathered about 17% on tips, using most of the techniques described in the article, but with a few considerations:
Touching: Almost never. I felt as a server, I wasnt a “friend”, or a “buddy”, I was there to make sure that my customer did not want for anything. Touching customers happened only when the rapport was 90+% , and then only on a casual basis. e.g. A handshake goodbye, a sympathetic touch on the arm after a sob-story, or occasionally, a non-threatening touch to a shoulder to gain attention (big party scenario).
Kneeling next to the table: I always did this, for two reasons. I could balance my caddy on the edge of the table and write _more_ clearly. (A necessity for someone who has forgotten how to write longhand due to years of QWERTY usage) and from a psychological perspective, I didnt like the position of being “over” my customer, with them having to look up at me. I preferred a subtle subservient position. And I always thought it more comfortable for my guest (note the change in nomenclature) to be looking level or slightly down at me when taking their order.
Smilies: Never could stand writing smilies on the guest check. It never seemed professional enough for me. And even if it was only a serving job at Denny’s, I still upheld my belief that any job worth doing and getting paid for is worth doing to the best of your ability.
Upselling: As in all retail, upselling is part of the job. But you can upsell without making it blatantly obvious that you are _trying_ to upsell. Suggestive selling of Value Specials or New Drink Concoctions is a benefit for thifty customers, If I couch it as a savings for them, I am adding Value to their experience. Or if at the end of the meal, If I fail to suggest a dessert to top things off, I would be cheating my customer out of a complete sastifying meal. It is all in how you present it.
My customers were ALWAYS right, unless they were absolutely wrong, and no Guest in my house should ever have to ask for anything while they were enjoying their meal. So, unless I was the One Legged Man in the Butt Kicking Contest, I made sure that everything was taken care of before they asked for it.
My biggest challenge was not in the amount of the individual tables’ tips, it was in the other staff’s collective angst about the job. I continually garnered Atta-boys from my customers, but because I wasn’t there full time, would not always get _my_ level of service from my coworkers. Which in turn meant that the customers were going to throw the dice as far as their service was concerned if they came in and I wasnt working. Which meant that they weren’t coming unless they knew I was there.
Eventually, I paid down my debts, and after three years and some other extenuating circumstances, I decided to leave and focus more on computer consulting to bring in a greater $/hour return for my efforts.
Between that and GRS, I am now working towards nuking the car debt; we paid for it with Credit Card Checks(better interest rate, and I own it) and the mortgage. Unfortunately for servers that now serve me, I know the tricks, I know the sounds from behind the wall, and I know what customer service is. I start at 20% tip (it is a pretty crappy job as far as jobs go), and that percentage can go either up or down, depending on the level of customer service.
January 29th, 2008 at 9:26 am
Attentiveness is the biggest factor when I determine tips. At one place that offers a “bottomless” bowl of chips as an appetizer, we ran low on chips and it didn’t get noticed by our server. I finally flagged her down and said I had found something in our chips. she looked horrified and asked what? I pointed, and said “a bottom…” She looked reliefed, the point was made, and we never ran low again that evening. Over attentiveness is just as bad as being ignored. Once I’ve got my iced tea set up the way I want, I don’t need it “topped off” every time I take 2 sips. Conversely, allow me to drain both my tea and my water glass without getting me filled back up and you’ll certainly be taking a hit in your tip. I do make allowances if it is very busy, but chatting with your co-workers while I’m dry = bad for you.
January 29th, 2008 at 9:34 am
“Write “thank you” or draw pictures on the check ”
I have to say that happen to me once, and it made me increase the TIP.
January 29th, 2008 at 9:41 am
Interesting. My DH and I went out on Saturday for the first time in a long long time and after careful debate I told I wanted to go to Chili’s rather than the more upscale resturant we’d originally planned, even though we’d carefully budgeted a once a year “date” night. When he asked me why I told him “You know what you’re going to get”. Pathetic, I know, but I do consider all these tips to be in that category…you know they’re going to do some or all of them. None of them particularly influence me one way or another…I start with 20% and adjust according to actual service.
January 29th, 2008 at 9:44 am
Yep - my glass full is my biggest measurement for sure! Tip: Place your empty glass at the edge of the table in clear view–it provides ease of site for the wait person when they are ’surveying’ for empty glasses. If it’s “in the pile” of everything else on the table, then I can’t blame them for not knowing you’re running on E.
-Dan
January 29th, 2008 at 9:58 am
@simpleserver
The amount servers make varies from state to state. In Washington they make the minimum wage which is around $7.63 plus tips.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:06 am
@Dave[33]
You bring up a good point that I didn’t think about. I usually order unsweet tea and sweeten it myself. So I MUCH prefer to have a new glass brought to me instead of refilling from a pitcher. Otherwise it throws off the balance and I have to readjust it again, which is a pain.
But I may just be picky about my tea!
January 29th, 2008 at 10:37 am
The list, like your photo, smack of “chain restaurant”. I agree with fauxpaw that these things are kind of servile and embarassing, but I generally prefer professionalism and dislike chain restaurants anyway. As someone who bartended and waited tables for a decade on and off, and whose husband is still a bartender, my number one tip by a landslide for increasing your tips is to work at a more expensive place. I’m entirely convinced that the vast majority of people, unlike those like me who leave long comments on the subject on blogs, just tip their regular percentage.
As an aside, the “refill my water” comments always make me laugh; they’re generally followed by people (like me!) saying “I hate it when waiters interrupt my conversation by pouring more water”. Short of mind-reading, the poor waiters really can’t win.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Nothing bothers me more than having to flag down the server to fill my glass.
And when we are in the middle of a conversation, please do not interrupt by asking ‘how is everything?’ If you are doing your job (extra napkins and filling our drinks), then we do not need anything. If something is wrong, then we will complain about it.
My sliding scale usually start at 15%. It can go as high as 25%.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Anybody catch that old episode of THIS AMERICAN LIFE where they conducted a waitress experiment? I seem to recall them drawing the conclusion that happy waitresses got smaller tips than brusque waitresses. One waitress summed her experience up like this (paraphrase): “If you look happy all the time, then the customer thinks that there’s nothing they can do for you.” Anyway, tips went up when waitresses were brusque but not rude, and remained small when waitresses recommended food or wine, when they were friendly, etc.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:57 am
I think these all depend on where you are and what people you are serving. For example, I think if you started touching customers in the Seattle area, you’d either scare them away, or get socked. Likewise, squatting next to the table probably works better if the people you are serving are close to you in age. Otherwise it either seems disrespectful or condescending.
Best way to increase my tip is for my food to come quick (but not inappropriately so, like when entrees come out at the same time as appetizers), to make sure I have what I need, and to check up consistently (but not three times within three minutes and then abandon the table for twenty). And don’t ask if the food is good. If it’s not good, be assured I’ll complain about it myself. (Which I can do better if I’m checked up on consistently.) If I’m shoving it in my face, as I almost always am whenever I’m asked that question, it’s probably good.
Oh, and while we’re on the subject, I hate when my half-full coffee cup is refilled, because then I have to add half a sugar packet and half a cream container to get it right again. Ask first.
Don’t treat me like an idiot, I can read a menu. Be informed about my unwritten substitution options.
Also, don’t take the finished check before I leave the table. I will remember that and tip you less next time.
January 29th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Ah, but they can! I always ask, “Please bring me a pitcher of water when you get a chance.” If the server brings me a pitcher of water, she wins! I know that I drink a lot of the stuff, so I’m willing to give my server a hint up front about how to keep me happy. It’s surprising how few take the hint. (Even at my favorite restaurant, the servers haven’t clued in.) When I was waiting tables, if somebody asked for a pitcher of water, I’d be happy to give it to her. Saves me from having to refill glasses!
January 29th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Yeah, that’s definitely fair enough. My dad’s big on the jug of water on the table too. I’m all for being up front about what you want or what’s going wrong, rather than passively fuming and leaving pennies on the table. It’s kinda surprising how often the latter happens.
January 29th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I just read 37 reader’s comments and not a one mentioned hygiene. Cleanliness goes a long way with me. Practice good dental hygiene and smile. Wash your hair and keep it pulled back. Wear the nicest shoes you can feel comfortable in; we are sitting; we notice your bottom half.
Regarding touching: if you are a guy and you touch another guy, you may soon garner the nickname “nub”.
January 29th, 2008 at 11:44 am
I’m so glad to see others here talking about not liking the touching thing. A BBQ joint I’m a regular at, one waitress would always pat or rub your shoulder. Free unwanted massage friends. But because one of the other waitresses has always been friendly, observant, and professional we ask for her by name when we go in.
As a general statement about service, I’d figure it’s alot like dancing. The customer is always going to lead you, one way or another. Pay attention to how customers interact w/ each other. That can give you signs of what manners to mimic. Even if the give no signs, then you know it keep it fully professional and not “friendly”
January 29th, 2008 at 11:56 am
I’d like to see something that would work for people who deliver pizza or other food items.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Honestly, I just give the best tips to people who smile, are quick with service and make sure our orders are correct. I have no problem asking for more water or whatever, as long as the server is attentive to us and actually brings everything we ask for. I really don’t care if they are wearing extra “flair”, if they draw smiley faces, if they give us candy, if they squat or get into our personal space, etc. And I hate it when waiters touch me, so that’s a big no-go for me…
January 29th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
I wonder if any of those tricks work on me on a subconscious level.
I mean, some of them are obvious: tell me your name, smile, etc. But, don’t touch me! DON’T TOUCH ME!
Mostly, though, I just judge on good service. Is my water and/or other beverages filled up often? Is my food served promptly? Does the jackass waiter avoid hitting on my date (I actually had this happen once, and had to make a comment to him while my date was in the washroom)?
January 29th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Hm…I guess I usually leave about 20%. I leave up to 50% depending on what extras I get….
January 29th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
When I grew up, it was 10% minimum…
BUT here is the number one thing THE RESTAURANT can do to help the server: DON’T send one server to take the order and another to deliver it. It makes either server just one more robot to deal with, one who has no interest in the customer beyond TAKE ORDER or DROP OFF ORDER.
January 29th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
I mostly want the waiter to get my order right. If I want something done a certain way or sides different - get it right. If you have to write it down please do. Memorization doesn’t impress me if you can’t get the order right. Usually when I see a waiter not writing the order down I know something will be wrong and it usually is.
January 29th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
[...] Proven Methods for Servers to Increase Their Tips (tags: tips server waiter restaurant) [...]
January 29th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
i am a generous tipper.
i have to admit the first time i had a waiter sit down at my table. i was gob-stopped. the next time it happened, i stopped speaking, looked pointedly at the server, and told him to get up. no tip here. the squatting gets on my nerves. it feels invasive and patronizing.
keeping my drink full, bringing me napkins and anticipating needs will get you a generous tip.
January 29th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
I wish there was a way to evolve away from tipping.
With the internet, is it possible to get a movement going that will encourage a no tip world? I’d be happy to pay more for food, I just hate having to constantly judge people monetarily. Then there’s all this etiquette. Some people I know have a minimum dollar amount (like $2) so they will tip $2 on a $2 drink. Then there’s the awkward tipping at places where it really shouldn’t be. Like hair cuts. I tip there, and I hate it. Or maid service at hotel rooms? What about tipping doormen or bag men, or people who just help me move my bag ten feet when I’m an able bodied human being? Tip my mechanic? are you crazy? My mailman at Christmas? What about the coworker who is like our secretary? I’m pretty sure she’d be insulted.
That’s it. I’m moving abroad, as soon as I can figure out which countries have a job for me and no tipping…
January 29th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I waited tables throughout college. My hourly wage then ranged from $1 to $1.50 an hour. That was 1978; it hasn’t gone up much in 30 years in our state (and it seems many ohers). So tipping is critical to making the job worthwhile. It was a tough job and in many cases I am certain that nothing I could have done would have changed the tip I received. You could usually tell who would tip you well right away. They were the pleasant, courteous types. If they were not pleasant and courteous, you could count on little or nothing–no matter what you did for service, friendliness, etc. I have never forgotten my experience waiting tables so I tend to give the benefit of the doubt to servers when things aren’t going perfectly, unless I sense an attitude from them. I don’t like cocky, arrogant, or sarcastic servers. “Flair” doesn’t impress me. Free candy doesn’t do anything for me. A thank you is nice on the check, but smiley faces are not required. I hate servers squatting and am not crazy about them sitting with us either. However, I realize some places teach their servers to do that so it’s not something I freak out over. As far as tipping, I have a very wide range of tipping. For example, breakfasts are much lower priced than say lunch, but the servers are still doing at least the same amount of work so I tip them at least as much as I’d tip for a well-served lunch. Likewise, at a bar, if we’re just getting a drink or two the bill may not be much, but if I’ve gotten great friendly service and the bartender made me a good drink, I tip very well. (I actually worked at a country club for several months where a 10% gratuity was included in the bill. I thought it would be great for me. I actually made far less than I’d made at other establishments where it was up to the individual. 10% of a $4.00 lunch is not much at all.) For dinners, I want friendly, attentive service. I don’t want gratuitous touching (pun intended), but I don’t freak out if the server is a touchy feely person … I would say that touching is very rare though. I have a gluten intolerance, which adds another dimension to my service obviously. I reward great servers very well and refer others with gluten intolerance to restaurants and servers who care about serving safe meals. My pet peeves are having food pushed on me, running out of water, being asked “how does everything taste?” (”how is everything?” suffices nicely, thank you), hearing my server whine or blame others for issues (if there are issues, just graciously apologize and take care of them) and, in general, having to work hard to get my server’s attention.
January 29th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Great article. It really made me laugh to think of the things servers do to get better tips. I had always heard that Hooters girls are taught to touch the male patrons on the shoulders.
January 29th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
OK, my advice to any server is: be female, be cute, & be flirtatious. The smiley face is nice, and the touching is great. Basically I will tip any server who fits this criteria 30% or much more. I don’t care if she’s “playing me”, let’s face it, it’s not every day that I have a hot girl flirting with me so it is very much worth it for the experience.
Sorry, but having a guy waiter is tantamount to going for a massage and getting a guy masseuse. They’ll be lucky to get 15%. Fortunately, at least in Texas, probably 90% of servers are women, and attractive ones at that.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
A few months ago, we were out for dinner at a Mexican restaurant with our child. We were seated right beside the area where they put heat the chips and put them into baskets. Our child was very interested in the process. Our server asked him if he’d like more chips. We typically limit anything like that, but we didn’t want to cause a tantrum in the restaurant after the server had asked him if he wanted some. (She should not have asked him — she should have asked us, if at all.) Anyway, at the end of the meal, she’d billed us for the extra chips! As if a toddler can make an order! So we reduced the tip by the amount of the chips and by 5%.
More recently, I’ve ordered pizza from a delivery place. The delivery guy keeps showing up without a pen — and wants to use mine. My front door is a long way from where I keep pens. I’ve discussed it with him, but he can’t be bothered to bring a pen. And so my tip keeps getting smaller. You’d think he’d realize that a 30c Bic would increase his tips. I bet other people dock his tip, too.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
It’s funny, I think having my water glass always fill is the worst. I drink whatever is there subconsciously, so after a meal I’ll finish off a glass and get it refilled about 6 times before the waiter with the check comes. I’ve gotten to the point where I just put the glass up side down so that it can’t be filled. I wait for the day the waiter tries to fill the upside-down glass.
January 29th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Please–no touching, no squatting. The squat is almost worse than the touching—it feels even more intimate and I know why they do it, which makes it all the more disenchanting. Mind you, I won’t knock any money off a tip because of either of these but it does serve to make things a little unpleasant. I’m not your pal, just a customer who likes my space, likes nice, efficient service and normally tips 20% so there’s no need to go overboard with me.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
I can’t begin to even address all the things people have featured on here. Like Guiness pointed out, the server can’t win. One person may feel it is rude to refill water when they are talking while another person encourages it.
I’m absolutely appalled with some of the comments people left. Don’t go to a restaurant if you are going to be impossible to satisfy.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
My expectations from servers vary according to the kind of restaurant I’m in; the more expensive the place, the more professional and attentive I expect the server to be. In hole-in-the-wall ethnic restaurants, I generally don’t expect servers to deliver a polished experience. In any case, I tend to tip in the 15-20% range.
For places where I expect at least basic, polished service, the real determining factor for me is the server’s response to requests and attitude. Servers can predict all of my dining needs and act accordingly, but if they act like they hate their job and don’t want to be there, that really drags it down. I don’t necessarily need polite chit-chat; I just don’t want to feel like I’ve invaded somebody’s space!
If servers anticipate my special dining needs (extra napkins, etc.) that’s a plus, and I don’t hold it against them if they’re overzealous about pouring water, etc. On the other hand, if they aren’t very attentive at all (often connected to their disgust for doing the job), that gets a low tip. (If the servers are inattentive because they’re very busy, I don’t hold it against them; it’s usually a management problem out of the servers’ control.)
And by the way, @Jarretthere: You’re awesome! Congratulations!
January 29th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
gaarrrrrlghrrrrr! Touch me and you’re apt to get bitten!!!!!
Guess I must have my fangs showing (honest, it’s only because I’m hongry!), since no server has ever dared to fondle my shoulders. Or anything else.
My friends and I were fortunate to be served lunch by a great waitress (uhm, waitperson) today. She was friendly but not pushy. Cheerful but not saccharine. She was professional in taking orders. She brought the food promptly and when the kitchen didn’t get one order out with the other three, she stood by the pass-through and grabbed the last order the instant it came up.
Two of us split the bill to cover our students. For each of us a 20% tip would have been $2.39. We each left three bucks.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
I’m a notoriously generous tipper. I’ll routinely go as high as 50%, especially if I don’t order a lot.
I’ve also self-observed my own tipping habits to see what makes me tip more. It’s sad to say, I guess, and not politically correct, but the number one bit of advice I have is: be female. Cute, flirty, etc., is nice, but optional. 50 years old, fat, and obviously married is fine. For some reason I greatly prefer a female.
However, on the topic of “flirty”, I know the difference between friendly flirting and manipulation. If I want a girl to “play” me I’ll go to a strip club. This is the absolute NUMBER ONE thing a waitress can do to get the worst possible tip from me. If you act like you want to go out with me, you’d better go ahead and ask, or you’re getting nothing.
January 29th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
NO TOUCHING and no squatting, please.
I think research can be misleading because - as many have said - most of us don’t reduce our tips because the server is using tricks like these that we figure management probably requires them to use. I tip well because I’ve been a server, not because of any of these gimmicks. But it would look like I’m tipping well because of the gimmicks if you observed me with a server who employs them.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
I eat out rarely because of the tipping scenario. I simply don’t understand why tipping (which used to be a nice 10% thank you very much) has gone up to as much as 25% in some places.
I do not feel that a person deserves up to 40 dollars an hour to bring me food and fill my water glass. I am a secretary for a college and work very hard for my measly 9.45 an hour.
Yes, the minimum wage for servers sucks. But then again, so does the minimum wage for a woman working in McDonalds (and they don’t accept tips for their service).
On the touching, don’t. You don’t know me, I don’t know you. I am only there to eat, talk to my dining companions (not the server), pay and leave.
On the squatting; again, don’t. While most diners relish the experience of ‘getting to know you’, I don’t. I will probably never see you again, unless I go back to your restaurant; so why would I care about your family drama, or involve you in mine?
I personally think servers should be paid a living wage, and tipping should go away. Too many other countries are this way, why not us?
January 30th, 2008 at 12:22 am
Whatever some may think of the legitimacy of tipping for food service–the fact is, that’s the way it is.
You know that going in; if it’s a problem for you, go buy, prepare, cook, and serve your own food. Don’t forget to clean up the dishes afterwards.
People take on these at-or-below minimum wage jobs with the expectation of earning decent tips; the tips combined with the minimum wage pay can often turn out to be a decent income. Many people are dependent on the tips they earn from these jobs to pay their bills.
Don’t give them grief or short them money because you don’t agree with the system–they’re doing their job, which is to make your lunch or dinner extremely convenient. Respect that.
Whether it’s the pizza delivery driver or the restaurant server, so long as they’ve provided you with accurate, timely, and friendly service, you should tip them well–if you don’t like tipping, don’t order from them.
Without tips, servers make a couple dollars an hour; without tips, pizza drivers make about minimum wage (often less) while paying for their own gas. If you want to continue to enjoy these services, remember that the services will only exist if people work these jobs and people will only work these jobs if they can make a decent wage doing it.
No one will serve you dinner or drive pizza to your house for a few dollars an hour.
January 30th, 2008 at 4:08 am
I really wish that everyone who complains about the service of a server, or refuses to tip could work as a server for a day. You earn a paycheck of around $3.00 per hour, spend the whole day on your feet and act as an intermediary between the customer and the kitchen. And believe me, the war between front of house and back of house is real and servers catch so much crap from both sides.
Servers should get paid a real wage. That would solve a lot of the problems altogether. Until that time though, remember 20%. If you can’t afford that, you shouldn’t go out to eat.
January 30th, 2008 at 5:11 am
A friend of mine is waiting (hoping) for the day when all restaurants will process orders via an on-table computer display. You read the menu, you select what you want, in what order, and you add notes and substitutions. No mistakes, no waiting. Waitpeople would essentially be handling drink refills and carrying plates to and fro. You could call for help on the display, similar to the call button in an airplane. The display could vary depending on the level of restaurant. Imagine an iphone-sized device at a steakhouse, something larger and bolted down at Denny’s. Text could be sized larger for people who forgot reading glasses. Etc. etc.
Though this seems clinical, parts of it sound great to me. No waiting for someone to take my order. No botched orders or food served out of order. When you’re ready to leave, you swipe a debit card and go. It may sound crazy, but I used to say “no way will people be willing to scan their own groceries!” Nowadays that’s my preferred checkout method at the grocery store.
January 30th, 2008 at 7:06 am
I suggest to the commenters who realize they have a subconscious bias against certain possible characteristics of servers: Do something to address the situation.
In the personal finance world, advice abounds for people who can’t control their impulses, can’t make a budget, can’t use a credit card wisely, can’t save for a rainy day, etc. And yet we have people here admitting they don’t like “squatters”, don’t like guys, don’t like ugly people and that their tip giving is affected by that.
I’d call that “level 1 bias” because it should be immediately obvious, once you think about it, that those characteristics have nothing to do with how a waiter or waitress does their job.
Then we have “level 2 bias”, which generally stems from selfishness and requires slightly more complex reasoning. This includes things like refills not being fast enough, food coming out slowly, or the waiter doing something against your own private, unknown preferences (pouring water while you’re talking, etc). The realization needed at level 2 is that you and your waiter are only two parts of a larger system with many inter-dependencies. The waiter can’t control the kitchen. The waiter can’t ignore his other customers in favor of you. The waiter can’t satisfy everyone’s unknown desires, since every customer is different.
“Anne ominous” made an interesting point with respect to self-fulfilling prophecies. I’ve never heard that women don’t tip well, but there is a correlation between tips and race (see this study for instance). It’s an interesting problem — what if you are a member of a group that, statistically speaking, tips poorly, but you yourself do not tip poorly? How do you get fair treatment? The best answer I’ve heard was from a black person — he said he gives a 20% tip in advance. Not just “Hey this is what you COULD get” but actually giving the tip, no strings attached. I’d love to hear other suggestions as well.
January 30th, 2008 at 9:13 am
cle @70 made a good point about electronic ordering. I’ve often wished for something similar myself. We used to have a chain here that’s gone out of business, but they had a similar model. Every table had a telephone handset. After deciding what you wanted, you picked up the phone and it was answered in the kitchen. Whenever something was ready for you, the phone would ring, and you’d be told to come pick up your items. It was a hamburger joint (Round the Corner, if anyone remembers it) The only employees out on the floor were the busboys and a manager who’d help you if you didn’t understand the system, so tipping was minimal - how much do you tip someone who only clears the table after you leave, right?
On another note, I hate places that add a tip to the bill. We often eat with large groups and make a point to find places that will give us seperate checks - too much hassle any other way. Invariably, the waiters get better tips if we get to choose the amounts ourselves. None of us are stingy, and we appreciate the effort it takes to accomadate a big crowd, but if the place adds 18%, that usually all you get, not a penny more.
January 30th, 2008 at 9:17 am
I never said I don’t tip, or that I mind tipping. I did say that I mind tipping 25%. Waiting tables isn’t for the faint of heart, but neither is being a Certified Nurses Assistant (most of whom work 10 times as hard as a waiter, yet earn half). (I am not saying they shouldn’t be CNA’s. If it weren’t for CNA’s hospitals would cost even more than they already do.) I am saying this. The price of food has gone up, so 15% of what I pay now is actually more than 15% 30 years ago. The price of a good meal in a good restaurant has gone up much faster than cost of living where I live.
I enjoy eating out, I tip at most 15%, and I will not stop because 15% of 100 is a rip off for about 20 minutes of work (I am rarely their only table). If a person in a restaurant has more money than common sense and is willing to pay out 20%, good for them. I however plan on retiring early, and then I plan on eating out constantly.
@cle
I love the idea of monitors at tables. I plan on opening a restaurant in Brazil (where tipping isn’t allowed), this would cut problems on incorrect orders in half.
January 30th, 2008 at 10:02 am
Geez, people are cold here. All the comments regarding no touching make you seem very cold and unfriendly. In many cultures, touching each other is the norm, and as one commenter mentioned, it’s a sign of bonding.
I say touch me without any qualms. Put your hand on my wrist. Whatever. It is a sign of friendliness and congeniality, and it indicates your willingness to reach out to me and get to know me.
I touch people all the time, myself, and most of my friends do the same.
January 30th, 2008 at 10:51 am
Most of what I’m reading really should have little to do with the amount of tip involved. I hear a lot of really picky people, and a few that are just pretentious snobs. Even though these people are SERVERS in a SERVEice field, they are not servants. Pull the stick out a little and enjoy someone who at least tries to enjoy their job. If you have a hang up about being touched, suck it up for a minute. These people won’t hurt you. If you don’t like “the help” to sit or squat, go somewhere else. I’ve done my share of serving, and while I tried to read people’s minds about their personal nuttiness, I also didn’t want to hate my job because some uppity customer had entitlement issues.
January 30th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
It’s very true that servers can’t win. People have very different expectations and they aren’t mind readers. Some people are happy as long as their requests are met in a timely fashion and others think that if they have to make a request at all then the service is poor.
My own experience gives me sympathy for them because it IS impossible to please everyone and as anyone who has waited tables knows you get some people that walk in the door looking for conflict. The wage is poor ($6.95 here I think now, it was $5.95 in my day, WOW to those of you who do it for under $3) and because of the tipout system it IS theoretically possible to work a shift and OWE the house at the end of the day, but I never actually saw that happen.
And at the same time I don’t feel all that sorry all the time. Many a shift I would hear servers complain because they only made say 12% but when you look at the larger picture - that they only worked 5 hours and that 12% of their sales was $150+.. $30/hr (PLUS your small hourly rate mind you) hardly seems like anything to complain about for running food, especially considering that the vast majority of servers (around here anyways) don’t report their tips so $30/hr = $30/hr. That was always my attitude anyways, if I made $20+/hr in tips I was happy as a clam regardless of the percentage, that just seemed like fair pay for the work to me and anything else was gravy.
The tipping system is certainly flawed, for instance if I go into a restaurant and order a hamburger and pop vs a steak and pint of beer, the server does the same amount of work for either choice but feels they deserve a greater tip on the steak. Why? Because that’s the way it works.
January 30th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
King of Debt says:”Servers should get paid a real wage. That would solve a lot of the problems altogether. Until that time though, remember 20%. If you can’t afford that, you shouldn’t go out to eat.”
So, is it really all or nothing–leave 20% tip, or don’t dine out? That kind of ultimatum could wind up resulting in many unemployed servers. I believe that 15% (pre-tax) ought to be fine for most servers; 20% or more for truly great service.
I suppose one could turn the logic around a bit: If you’re not willing to work for a mere 15-18% tip, then get another job, and let the industry respond–if it desires–by raising wages in order to compete properly for workers. After all, minimum wage is just that–minimum. Restaurants can pay more if they can and desire.
January 30th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Wil Said:
If you have a hang up about being touched, suck it up for a minute. These people won’t hurt you. If you don’t like “the help” to sit or squat, go somewhere else. I’ve done my share of serving, and while I tried to read people’s minds about their personal nuttiness, I also didn’t want to hate my job because some uppity customer had entitlement issues.
my “not wanting to be touched by a total stranger” is not an entitlement issue. it’s a boundary issue.
January 31st, 2008 at 5:54 am
Great googly moogly, I’m glad y’all weren’t in my restaurant when I was waiting tables. It seems like a lot of folks have a luandry list of what a server should and shouldn’t do, and half of them contradict the other half, while most of them flat-out ignore what the rules at the restaurant might be.
For those who complain about the upselling, or the formulaic approach many servers have (including the fact that “Hi I’m X and I’ll be your server” was too friendly for one commenter)…have you ever heard of “secret shoppers?” If you screw up with one of them, you can get *fired* and yes, they have a restaurant-specific checklist to know what you’re supposed to be doing and what you’re not.
I’ve seen servers fired over bad shops, and most of us lived in terror of them.
That being said, honestly, I think being deployed was easier than schlepping trays.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Wil at #75:
If you have a hang up about being touched, suck it up for a minute. These people won’t hurt you.
Bluntly: No. My level of comfort is not up to a waiter’s desire for a tip to determine. I don’t have to suck it up, and they — and you — should know better.
January 31st, 2008 at 1:36 pm
@AHT:
What I’m saying is that the server has no way to know about your hang-ups. Many people don’t mind, or actually prefer the human aspect of a friendly touch. Personally, I prefer not to be touched, but that’s MY thing. Twenty other people that come in before or after me may appreciate the gesture, and to suggest that a server should either A: know who wants what and who doesnt and act appropriately, or B: adjust their behavior to match YOUR comfort level and deprive those who are in one of the other categories is asking a bit much. To give less of a tip (and give the impression that there was something lacking in the service provided when all other things are equal) than you ordinarily would strikes me as a little petty.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Wil @ 81:
As a female in a large, overcrowded city, I am fiercely protective of my personal space, and I don’t think it’s petty to consider the respect of that an essential part of good service. You are, of course, free to disagree.
February 1st, 2008 at 7:15 am
@AHT:
I agree and think you SHOULD be fiercely protective of your personal space. I think we are separating what is good and right, (protecting your personal space) from the “petty” (basing someone’s compensation on not anticipating YOUR feelings on this). Once again, I prefer not to be touched, but I can’t justify deducting from someone’s income for not knowing that ahead of time. I usually just cringe a little inside, and spend a few minutes scrubbing down, (I REALLY have issues with being touched– see “As Good as It Gets”)
February 1st, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Wow. I can’t believe they recommend touching someone. I’m not at all touch-averse with people I know, but if some server came up and started touching me as part of their spiel, I’d be upset and creeped out. I’m not in a restaurant for them to touch me, I’m in a restaurant for them to serve me food — and these are two mutually exclusive things. Paying someone to touch you is often illegal…
February 5th, 2008 at 6:11 am
I don’t even know where to start. For the people who have never worked in a restaurant, you have absolutly no idea what goes on and how much effort it takes to even halfway smile at most customers. There are so many different dynamics happening, but you would never know that because the server is doing their job by not telling you what is happening. You don’t care, just like the server doesn’t care what is going on with your job, so stop telling them, it goes both ways. It could be anything from fighting with the kitchen, not having a busser, the bartenders aren’t making your drinks, out of a lot of menu items, your boss is sexually harrassing you, the host is favoring one server over another, and let’s not forget all the customers barking orders at you like you are their personal slave and it goes on and on. I could tell you stories for hours and hours of all the crap that has happened to me over the years. But servers HAVE to listen to all your crap and people take so much out on the people who serve them because they know the servers can’t say or do anything about it and hold their tip ransom.
How about we have some perfect strangers go to your job and critique every move you make and tell you how much you suck, day in and day out. And then, go to your boss and complain about everything that you did or didn’t do, even if it was beyond your control and then decide how much your paycheck was. That is exactly how it goes for servers. So maybe next time stop thinking about yourself and have a little compassion and maybe your server wouldn’t give you attitude. Did you ever stop to think about when a server first starts in the business they are super nice and then just get walked all over and constantly people are mean, drunk, stupid, crazy, unreasonable, cheap, disrespectful and overall unpleasant. After a while it takes a toll and starts to affect your attitude. In my experience people will respond in the same way as how they are treated.
I always tried to feel people out to see what “style” of service they would prefer, but you just can’t please everyone. And after a while you just stop trying.
Ok, as for the touching, I can guarantee you the server gets touched and groped far more than they would ever even think about touching a guest! And perhaps if you are so worried about germs, you should think about how may people touch the food you are putting in your mouth and the plates and glasses you are using. Far more to worry about there. I really don’t think that happens all that much except in places like the guys who say they tip attractive servers more, go. And speaking of that, again I will use the example of going to your work place and judging you. We will have a bunch of grody strangers come in and sit and stare at you and think perverted thoughts while you are trying to do your job and decide if you are good looking enough and if you flirted enough to make more money. No matter how you did your job. Doesn’t seem very fair now, does it? And we all know you are not a looker if the only flirting you are getting is with a server, so I suspect you wouldn’t be bringing home much money if that was how it worked. Maybe you could think about that next time your server maybe has a fatter ass than you would like so you tip less.
And now for the selfish person who will only go to places that will give seperate checks to large parties. Do you want your food to all come out at the same time? Do you want it there in a timely manner? Would you like your server to be attentive and refill your iced tea at every turn? Well it’s not gonna happen if your server has to enter 20 seperate orders. Do you know how long that would take to enter in the computer(and just think if they don’t have a computer and are doing it by hand)? You have to create a new check for every person and then try to keep track of them all and keep adding things to this persons check and that persons check, it is a complete nightmare. And then for the kitchen to get all these seperate orders, how are they supposed to make them all come out at once, plus the tons of other tables orders? It is hard enough to do it all on one check. Most large parties do not tip well. That is why most places add the tip. Some people leave early some people don’t cough up enough for their share and the server gets screwed in the end.Come on, stop and think about it. Why would most(almost ALL)places add the tip? The server has to tip out a percentage of their sales to the busser, bartender, cook, and host. Not to mention the taxes. So if the server gets screwed on a big table and most large parties rack up big bills, they still have to tip everyone out on the sales amount. So basically, they are paying for you to eat there(and you wonder why they have an attitude).So if you could think about other people for a minute you could understand the logic behind it. They are not adding the tip to screw you, they are doing it to make sure they get paid for the service they provide you. And believe me, large parties are the biggest pains in the asses! So you should be extra nice to the poor souls who get stuck waiting on you and all your math challenged buddies who can’t seem to add up what they owe and tip on that amount. I know, it’s very hard, huh?
I am not writing all this to be a cry baby, I am writing to tell a lot of you some things that go on that perhaps you are not aware of and to stop being so petty. Is it really that serious if a server wants to bend down to take your order? Personally my feet and legs hurt and it’s hard to hear in a lot of places, that’s why I bend down to take orders. Not to be any closer to the guest and “bond” and certanly not to be rude. There is always a reason why people do what they do. Sometimes it’s calculated and sometimes it’s just cuz your feet hurt. So maybe you should give your servers the benefit of the doubt. And then if that doesn’t work, maybe you should go work in a restaurant for a week and then come talk to me.
Thank goodness for the few nice people who are generous and make up for all the cheap people. I have also met a lot of friends working in restaurants. So it boils down to if you are generally a nice and decent person you will generally get nice and decent service. I suspect that if you keep getting poor service, maybe you should check yourself.
February 5th, 2008 at 11:11 am
@This is why you get bad service
So how do you suggest splitting the bill amongst a group of people with no cash? Almost everyone uses debit/credit. Oh that’s right you want us to use cash so it’s off the books.
February 5th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Tell your server how much you want to put on each card. It’s that simple. And nothing is off the books anymore. Everything is in a computer. It is 2008.
February 9th, 2008 at 9:07 am
Wear something unusual - Don’t care about that at ALL.
Introduce yourself by name - Don’t care about the server’s name, which I know it’s required, but it does waste time when all you want to do is ORDER.
Squat next to the table - Think this makes the server look too friendly as if they know you, especially if they sit at your table like they are dining with you(had this happen a few times at Outback)I don’t mind, but isn’t necessary in my opinion. If they can HEAR my order better by being closer to me, then I am all for this one.
Repeat customers’ orders - 100% FOR THIS ONE, because things get not heard right or mixed up.
Smile at customers- Who wants to see a sad face? Of course smiling helps diners be in a better mood.
Sell, sell, sell-ONLY if it’s done BEFORE I order. I absolutely can’t stand when servers try to change your mind AFTER you have told them already you wanted a certain thing as if you would change your mind. MOST customers KNOW what they want when they order, so trying to change it after they have placed their order is a waste of TIME for EVERYONE involved as well as it pisses customers off. Also, if servers ask if you want a dessert, don’t try to convince them if they say NO, because NO means NO!
Touch customers-NEVER is it ok to touch someone. MOST people aren’t comfortable for a STRANGER to touch them.
Write “thank you” or draw pictures on the check-Wastes VALUABLE TIME that the server could be checking for overcharges or serving someone else or getting the check faster to the customers so they can LEAVE FASTER. It could NEVER SWAY me to tip higher. All they are doing that is to increase their tip, so that’s SELF-SERVING to do that. It’s not like it is to be nice or something, because being nice is getting the check with NO overcharges and thinking about customer’s TIME. Doodling is PLAYING on the job, when a server’s job is to SERVE, NOT draw pictures and write personal notes as if we know the person. I am with elisabeth said that she wanted to be left alone. Servers are STRANGERS and we DO NOT CARE about personal stuff about the servers. Sure, I do have SOME servers I have gotten to know personally, but that is because they are GOOD servers, so if they care about me, I care about them. I do like for service to not be with the server most of the time though. Writing personal notes really has NOTHING at ALL to do with the sevice. If I got a wrong side dish, WHO GIVES A CARE if the server WRITES “Thank You” and signs their name? I care about taking points off of the tip for them not VERIFYING the order in the kitchen and WASTES TIME MAKING UNNECESSARY TRIPS, NOT if they WROTE THAT. I care about my SERVICE, NOT personal notes. I cannot believe moneymonk said he or she had it done once and that he or she acutually took the bait to tip higher. Moneymonk must not eat out a lot, because A LOT of servers write this, which is so unnecessary. It’s a WASTE OF TIME. One time I had $3 overcharge due to an extra item on the check from a waitress that wrote “thanks so much” and signed her name. Then she had the GALL to WASTE MORE OF MY TIME writing it again on the revised bill. A server should have COMMON SENSE that writing that after an overcharge is NOT going to help ANYTHING and it actually made me wait LONGER to leave. That just really shows how she was SO INTO ONLY HERSELF. Worrying about her tip points instead of the customer’s money.
Give customers candy- That’s just the restaurant’s candy, so WHO CARES? It’s not like the server actually buys that candy themselves to give away. Usually it’s mints with the restaurant’s name on the wrappers. This could NEVER, EVER, SWAY me to tip more, because it has NOTHING to do with service.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:59 am
ha thanx this is why you get bad service for comenting your view, I would just like to add to everyone else. i wont ever touch you so keep your hands off me. Oh and you act like i want to hear about your whole life i have other tables to get to and your steady talking my ear off by the time i get done with you i have a food to run, an order to take, a check to add up, soups that need to be brought out, refills that need to be refilled, side work that needs to be takencare of and you want me to sit there listen to you and mess up my tips i could be workin on but no and when you leave you leave a no good tip just enough for me to get lunch that we pay 50%on. A nother thing dont bring your kids to a resturaunt if they have no manners im pretty sure ma and pops dont want to hear a tatrum while they are splitting a sandwich. And that newborn baby you have crying while you are shoveling food in your mouth when you should be sticking a bottle in theirs. MAN what is this world comming to. Oh and you nasty perverts who sit at the counter and stare at our behinds while drinking coffee for hours on end dont you have nething better to do. By the way we give you menus so that you can read them not so that you can ask us for every little detail, maby thats why you get an over explained grl chz. JEEZ . Dont be lazy pick up the menu for your own sake. Yes i am your server no im not your slave so if you drop something why am i the one to pick it up, if my book fell would you pick up my checks with smilie faces and thank yous writtin on it I dont think so. I say my name for the simple fact your gonna be calling out miss miss miss and think about how many female servers there are, what now you want my whole staff serving you i dont think so. For the cheep people who order lemons with their water and ask for equal JUST ORDER LEMONADE, and yes you may have a straw. For the people that drink pop like it isnt nothin what you think you can drink ten pops with out being charged after the third one. The drunks that come in after two show me better respect than the dinner crowd why who knows but they are good tippers bigger tippers than any other omlette eater. so next time you wanna eat out and wanna be cheep why dont you pull through mcdonalds and order off the dollar menu bring it home and serve it to your family see if they leave you a tip. Yes i like when a table says we are in a hurry but what makes them think that they should be served faster than the table who sat down before them. man oh man oh man lets get it right next time you want to dine out maby we would want you to come back if you wernt so cheep, thats what we dont want in the restuaunt. So stop trying to make me give food to you for free i think i have said enough have a nice day and your always welcome to come back. Now let me see if my tables need water. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa but
February 28th, 2008 at 5:21 am
oh yeah i forgot to say to the people who get up and move from where your sat sit where youare seated, you mess up rotation and yes we know you want a booth but you dont have to go to each one to see if you fit your gonna end up with a table ne ways so stay seated. Goof balls if i can think of ne thing else you will be sure to read im going to smoke
May 9th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
I work at a country style diner in Vermont, we specialized in our REAL maple syrup and homemade breads ect. We have a lot of regulars (and I try my hardest to know excatly what that want) and we relay mostly our our tourism. I work alone for the first 4 hours of the day manning 16 tables and a counter. When we fill up, I kindly say “I will be right with you” That goes a long way as they know you are not ingorning them. To take a couple of mins and keep coffe cups filled, that goes a long way also. Sometimes I will touch a customer if they are friendy, joking etc. but only on the shoulder. I very rarely make less than 20% of my sales in tips. I always write Thank you! along with my name on the back of check. Here in Vermont we make only $3.75 plus tips. Keep that smile on your face, interact (be interested, even if you are not in what that have to say) the customer is right 95% of the time…I will take the blame if it is my fault and they respect your honesty for not blaming the cooks Customers DO NOT care if you are having a bad day…they are out to eat to make thier day better, relax, enjoy thier food, thier service and experience. I never kneel at a table, yes mid age but hurts legs lol. Always tell them to have a wonderful day, weekend etc. If it is a nice day tell them to enjoy the weather or drive safe in bad weather. They then know you care. I never say “you guys” I tend to ask if everyone is enjoying thier meal. Always suggest dessert. You will be suprised how many come in and ask your YOUR service. Unfortunately some people from the old school come in with tip charts and if the check is 15.00 you get 1.50 period. Sorry for writing so much! Just basic stuff but works for me.