Deb Perelman at eWeek recently shared some advice on how to quit your job with your bridges intact. Too often smart employees let their guard down during their final days, and they do things that may actually damage their career. Perelman polled coaches, recruiters, and workplace experts to create a list of steps that can help you leave your job with class:
- Be sure you’re making the right choice. Sometimes that dream job isn’t. Do what you can to give it a “test-drive” first. (Often this isn’t possible.) I know a man who quit his job last fall, but was back within a week.
- Get your story straight. Don’t lie, but be sparing with the details. It’s fine to say why you’re leaving, but don’t let emotion lead you into revealing too much.
- Write your resignation letter. Again, stick to the facts. Emurse has some sample resignation letters and some advice: “Resignation letters can be as much or as little as you would like. Keep them positive and remember that the end goal is to maintain a positive relationship with the employer.”
- Tell your supervisor first. Follow chain of command. Telling your buddies first can cause repercussions. (Is this true?)
- Be prepared for a counter-offer. You may be a valuable part of the company’s plan, and they may attempt to get you to stay. This is one reason it’s important not to lie about why you’re leaving.
- Stay for your two-weeks notice. Don’t leave your current company in the lurch. It puts them in a tough spot and looks bad to your new boss. Give the company time to replace you.
- Work out your transition plan. The more you can help our company train your replacement, the better it reflects on you. I’m spending months helping to ease the transition as I leave the box factory. This is good for everyone.
- Leave in good standing. It’s easy to mentally check out of your job long before you’re actually physically gone. Resist that urge. Remain diligent to the end.
As tempting as it may be to blow off your current job once you have a new one, it’s important to remain professional. You never know when you’ll need a reference from a former boss, or when you’ll be working with former co-workers. Quit your job gracefully, and options will remain open to you.
[eWeek: How to quit your job with your bridges intact]
GRS is committed to helping our readers save and achieve your financial goals.Savings interest rates may be low, but that’s all the more reason to shop for the best rate.Find the highest savings interest rate from Ally Bank, Capital One 360, Everbank, and more.
This article is about Career, Hints and Tips, Planning
Disclaimer: This content is not provided or commissioned by American Express. Opinions expressed here are author's alone, not those of American Express, and have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by American Express. This site may be compensated through American Express Affiliate Program.
Discover is a paid advertiser of this site. Reasonable efforts are made to maintain accurate information. See the Discover online credit card application for full terms and conditions on offers and rewards.
SEARCH FOR RECENT ARTICLES
We call this “Not having a Bridgeburning kit!”
I learned the hard way when I left a couple jobs ago. I wasn’t rude, I just explained in detail how bad that boss was. They then went on to try and scare my new company from hiring me by saying I was a malcontent!
When I left that job 6 years later, I was glowing about the company nd had nothing but positive vibes back!
loading....
How do you handle an exit interview, particularly when you’re leaving because you’re unhappy with your boss(es), the job, the company’s direction, etc? Do you lie, acting like everything’s been great and you’ll miss everyone, so as not to burn a bridge? Or should you give them the gift of being open and honest?
loading....
Tell your supervisor first. Follow chain of command. Telling your buddies first can cause repercussions. (Is this true?)
Yes and no. Do you think your direct supervisor will be happy to find out from someone else that you’re leaving? Not “not miffed”, not “not taking it out on you”, but happy?
Usually the answer is “no”. And that means your direct supervisor should hear it from you.
Of course you’ll tell your buddies that you’re looking. Your real friends, and former coworkers and bosses who you know will give you great references. But not, perhaps, your buddies at the office – unless you trust them not to tell your boss, or HR, or the big boss, or what-have-you.
(This can be particularly troublesome if you are “just looking” and the new job doesn’t pan out. If your boss hears you’re leaving and makes plans for your leaving … you may be asked to set your last day when you were hoping to stay…!)
loading....
This is great advice.
I wrote my letter, and included with it a list of my projects, percent FTE for each, next deadline, and a suggested staff member to take over each task.
I also researched what were the most likely exit interview questions, and scripted a response for each. I was pretty unhappy and didn’t want to blow it.
End result: they hired me for after-hour consults at a nice hourly rate.
loading....
I followed all of these steps last year, when I left to do a a gov’t contract. 6 months later, gov’t contract was up, and I was asked (or begged) to return, at a 27% pay increase, to do exactly what I was doing before. So leaving in good standing paid off.
It’s also ironic that I only asked them for about a 7% increase before I left, and I would stay, and they didn’t bite.
loading....
I did this when leaving my last job and I think it really helped. I gave them 3 weeks notice since my boss was going to be on vacation for one of those weeks. Since I was a temp, I only gave them 3 days…I said they could have me go in 3 days, but I thought I’d be useful since someone would have to run the office while my boss was gone and I knew more than a new temp would.
Also, I was very polite about why I left, didn’t mention everything that stressed me about the job and instead focused on how this other position had opened up which was something that was sort-of part of my life plan (libraries). Worked pretty well. Much better than giving 3 days. My boss’s boss even told me to let her know if I was ever looking for work again.
loading....
Perfect resignation letter:
http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/american_originals/resign.jpg
And never, ever, ever, ever accept a counter-offer. Good points here:
http://www.collegerecruiter.com/employersblog/2004/07/never_never_never_accept_a_cou.php
loading....
I read somewhere that people leave mainly because of their direct bosses. So the supervisor finds out only after you are well and ready to move.
Your friends would have known much earlier.
Having said that, it is just plain good advice that we should not burn bridges. The job must have had some goods as well as the bads.
loading....
MVP at #2, don’t do an exit interview unless you have to. Don’t put anything in writing and don’t sign anything at an exit interview. Most importantly, don’t say anything at all negative about why you are leaving. There is absolutely nothing to be gained by doing that (except that your employer can use that to justify your leaving. i.e. you were the problem, not them).
So resist the urge to say anything negative. Especially resist the urge to put it into writing. You may think your employer wants to know why you’re leaving so they can make changes, but they won’t. Companies do exit interviews to figure out if you’re a liability and a lawsuit threat. If they really cared what you thought about the company, they would ask you while you were still employed.
It sounds paranoid, but the second you tell your boss you are leaving, the entire relationship changes. You might be surprised.
loading....
Be prepared for a counter-offer. You may be a valuable part of the company’s plan, and they may attempt to get you to stay. This is one reason it’s important not to lie about why you’re leaving.
I have a good friend who’s worked in a hiring position at several larger companies. More than once, he’s mentioned that having a highly-valued employee leave with even a few weeks notice can be amazingly expensive and disruptive. If your reasons for leaving are ones the company can’t (or won’t) address, they may make a counter offer in order to minimize disruptions. In other words, they’ll look at a counter-offer as a way to keep a valuable employee around until s/he can be replaced on the company’s terms.
So keep in mind that a counter offer may not mean that you’re absolutely invaluable and/or that the company management loves you. It may just be in their best interest to pay you 125% of your current salary for the next few months while they find your replacement. If you accept a counter offer, you should either insist on a contract for a fixed time period (6 months, 1 year, etc.) or be prepared to find yourself “let go” sometime in the future.
loading....
“Tell your supervisor first.”
Hmm,
This depends on a lot of things. case in point. My leaving had the potential to really screw over a colleague and friend. I wanted to make sure he knew what was going on so he could take care of himself before the potential fallout. I gave him a weekends notice, and I think he appreciated it. In return I asked him to keep quiet about it until later, ’cause you’re right, the boss finding out about it from someone else may start a bridge to smoldering.
loading....
I’ve resigned from 2 jobs 3 times. My first job that I resigned from, I actually resigned twice. The first time the boss asked why, and I told him why (management put a freeze on vacations and I had my wedding and honeymoon scheduled, and management was saying no exceptions were going to be made, and I refused to have my job dictate to me anything about my wedding or honeymoon). He asked how much the other offer was for. He was able to get a counter offer to me that granted my time off, and while he wasn’t able to match the salary, was able to give me a retention bonus that would make up the difference until he could give me another raise. I left that job a little later, not because I didn’t like it, but b/c my wife got what she thought was her dream job, and it was ~1700 miles away.
The second job I left, I left for a myriad of reasons, including the hours I was working, family issues that would be better handled if I were closer, and standard of living for my wife (our 3 story townhome wasn’t working for my wife since her arthritis was getting worse). My boss asked me “what will it take to get you to stay”. If it had been just a money thing he gave me a great chance to get a really nice raise….but it wasn’t just a money thing. They even offered to let me work out of another office they had in another state, that was closer to my family…but it wasn’t close enough.
I also know that it wouldn’t have been just until they found my replacement, as members of upper management in other areas of the business asked “is there nothing we can do to keep him” when told I was leaving. When I had my exit interview w/my boss’s boss, I was honest, but I also stressed the main reason had nothing to do w/them, but I was looking after my familial needs. He stated that he wanted to make sure I knew he understood why I was leaving, and that I wasn’t burning any bridges, and that if I ever came back to the area, to let him know and I’d have a job.
loading....
“Do you give them the gift of being open and honest?”
Within reason.
If you don’t agree with the direction of the company, you say it’s not a fit with your core values… and only elaborate if asked. be specific and non-judgemental. not ‘they treat the clients like dirt’ but ‘i’m looking for an opportunity to work somewhere with a greater/more innovative client-focus’.
as the other poster said, script your exit interview.
i think it’s possible to be honest, and not upset people – but i also think it’s important to always stress your moving on to better things
loading....
Why give two weeks notice? Unless you have some sort of contract or written agreement, most companies can let you go without any notice at all.
loading....
I told my friends that I was looking, that I had received an offer, that I was planning to quit. I knew they’d be discrete enough to not gossip about it. When I reached out to my supervisor, he was the first to know.
2 weeks notice really depends on the firm. It’s good etiquette to make allowances for 2 weeks – so don’t promise the new firm that you can start before the 2 weeks end. But there are many tactful ways to ask for less or more time in the notice period. Highlight specific needs to your supervisor either in your resignation letter or when you hand in the letter.
Some industries require certain notice periods. At my firm (financial services), all but the most junior personnel serve at least 60-day notice periods. Usually people are allowed to serve the notice periods at home. When they’re leaving for competitors, their access is terminated immediately and they have to serve the notice at home. Otherwise they can stay on for a transition period.
loading....
@10: “Why give two weeks notice?”
For the same reason you script your exit interview. To leave on good terms without burning all your bridges. Also note that it’s a courtesy to your co-workers (some of whom may be references for you in the future) who will now have to absorb what responsibilities you had. It’s not their fault that the company operates on an “at-will” emplyoment basis. Obviously there can be exceptions, especially in extremely toxic (culture wise) work environments or if you really don’t need the full two weeks to transfer your knowledge. But in general two weeks is considered the polite standard.
loading....
Re. taking a counteroffer. Generally not a great idea. You’ve already shown your company that you’re “disloyal” so they’re not likely to trust you in the future or give you much consideration when they need to make cutbacks. Plus, you’ve made a bad impression on the company that tried to hire you – essentially negotiating in bad faith – and many industries are small enough that word gets around. A large percentage of employees who accept a counteroffer are not working for that employer a year later.
loading....
Most of the focus here on not burning bridges is about how doing that might be bad for you. But it’s not all about you. Giving notice and easing the transition is simple human decency.
It’s really sad when someone is retiring or moving on to another job but they won’t answer any questions or write anything down. That leads to a lot of unnecessary craziness.
loading....
I have an employee in my department that has broken just about every rule on the list. As an employer, I can’t wait to get him out the door!
Best Wishes,
D4L
loading....
[...] and rewarding career. Well, my favorite personal finance site posted a short story about how to quit your job gracefully. Nothing crazy or even related to law, but good advice regardless: As tempting as it may be to [...]
loading....
Wow. There’s some really great career change advice here.
When leaving a career, it really comes down to leaving with poise and grace and understanding that your last impression is how you will be remembered.
You never know how your future will play out and who you will bump into sometime in your future.
If you’re at all considering leaving a job, how about leaving on a high-note by leaving some sort of business case or business analysis piece behind that sketches out a few ideas on how to make the company more competitive.
I know that this is counter-intuitive, but it leaves your previous employer with a great taste in their mouth for you.
Also, once you leave a company, it’s easy for you to be forgotten.
You may want to consider doing something that will make them remember, “Wow, that Sally, she is really headed somewhere…”
That way, just in case you ever need a referral from someone there…or whether you bump into them in a future professional setting, they will (hopefully) remember the enriched and poised way you left.
Just something to think about…
loading....
I guess I’m a rule breaker, I did accept a counter offer. Though to be accurate I never accepted the other company’s offer nor did I actually resign. When I received the new job offer I told them I had to think about it, I had decided to resign and was working on the letter when my boss pulled me in to a kick off meeting for a new project he wanted me to head. I had to be honest and let him know I was about to resign and he should bring in someone else to head it. Since my main beef was that I felt underpaid, the $10k raise convinced me to stay and I graciously declined Company 2. The story continues, Company 2 really needed my help and continued to pursue me and make additional offers which I turned down. But, 8 months later for financial reasons I would have been an idiot to turn what they were offering down. I was not about to use this again to wring more money out of Company 1 so I resigned and stayed firm in my decision. But – I definitely sold my soul, the new job is much harder and is like trying to rescue a half sunk ship. In the end it was worth it, I’m down to the last $250 on my CC, at one point I owed over $22k. I was never going to pay it off with what I was making, increasing my salary in a somewhat mercenary manner is what got it done.
loading....
This is a great post – all too often people burn their bridges in the exit interview and then things don’t work out down the line. Many times you could easily work your way back into your old job, unless you blow your exit by getting a case of short-timers and bad-mouthing your old boss, the company, etc.
loading....
This is an excellent post. I have to say I am the poster child for why you never want to burn bridges with former employers. In 2006, I left a job and company that I had burned out on, and accepted a job at a start up company. Needless to say, it didn’t work out, but because I left with grace, I was able to return to my former company and am in a much better position than when I left.
loading....
So what you’re saying is resist the urge to go knock your bosses teeth out.
loading....
Depends. If your boss is the reason you’re leaving, go over his/her head and give notice reasons. Then, get out and never look back. Serenity now…
loading....
Excellent article, and excellent comments from everyone. I am considering leaving my current position and I have never resigned from a job before. If I leave I know it will be difficult. The job I am considering is virtually a lateral move, but there are a lot of other factors involved. It is a tough decision to make, and these comments are helpful for if/when I decide to resign…
loading....
Almost half the people I work with in my office are on their second time with the company. There are a couple others that would love to come back but burned their bridges so bad that they can’t. It’s all over petty stuff too.
Do yourself a huge favor and never burn bridges that you don’t have to. You’ll be amazed how badly that can hurt you later in life.
loading....
It comes back to old argument of who needs who?
Employers need employees who are going to get the job done and not cause trouble.
Employees need employers who respect them, pay them accordingly, and will not break the law.
If an employee is out of debt then they don’t need a employer desperately, they are able to pick and choose which makes the exiting strategy that much easier.
loading....
I wholeheartedly agree with the 2 weeks notice. It’s professional. Chances are one day when you are looking for another job, they will contact that employer as a reference. Don’t give them a reason to badmouth you. Also, your new employer knows you respect the company you’ve been working for by giving them adequate notice about your departure. When my current employer asked when I could begin working I really wanted to say, ‘tomorrow’ but said 2 weeks because I wanted to be fair to my then employer and not leave them without coverage. Makes you look good before even starting the new job…
loading....
[...] When I left my last job I was prepared to receive a counter offer to compete with my new employer’s offer. Unfortunately, I didn’t receive one in the end because my timing was poor – the company was going through layoffs and could ill-afford to boost anyone’s salary, much less an underling such as myself. Of course, the primary reason behind my exit was because of the layoffs so I’m not sure the counter offer would have been successful in continuing my employment. The experience did cause me to stop and reflect on the pros and cons of accepting a counter offer, and as J.D. pointed out in a recent post, one should be prepared for a counteroffer as part of quitting their job gracefully. [...]
loading....
My direct boss (who I liked) did the exit interview and she tried to goad my into railing on our big boss because no one could stand him. I couldn’t believe it! Of course I wanted to help out and say something that might make it better for my coworkers, but I told her I couldn’t do that, I needed to leave without causing a stir. It really threw me for a loop!
loading....
@Patrick[27]
I actually just resigned for a basically lateral move. It is hard, because of course the inevitable questions comes up about how much more they were offering, etc. The thing is, it wasn’t about the pay, or my boss, or my coworkers. It is just about the culture of the company not fitting well with me, and that is kind of hard to explain in solid terms!
I do plan on being open and honest during the exit interview with HR though. I know I will have no problem with coming back if I decide it’s better, and it’s such a large company that little of what I say to HR will matter in that regard. It will just get lost in the paperwork…
loading....
[...] on leaving your job without burning bridges; that would be J.D. over at Get Rich Slowly with How to Quit Your Job Gracefully. I hope I don’t need it soon, but I’ll keep it in hand for when that time does [...]
loading....
A 2 week notice is not enough in some fields of work. In engineering its best to give at least 2 months or more. This gives your employer enough time to find someone and possibly let your replacement receive training from you.
loading....
@darkally : “In engineering its best to give at least 2 months or more.”
What type of engineering do you mean? Because certainly in the software industry two weeks is usually plenty of time and the expected standard. Barring exceptional circumstances, I don’t know of any person in any industry that gives two months notice!
loading....
This is a great article. And just in line with what I need right now. Just today I got a job offer from another company – pending salary/benefits details. The reason for leaving is the pay, bosses/management, and work environment. One of my colleagues recently left and drilled them negatively. While tempting, I don’t want to leave on a bad note. This was a good opportunity – my first, even if it wasn’t the best place for me. I want to leave the door open in case I may need to come back, for whatever reason.
Thanks for the advice…and the guidance to know/believe that this is meant to be.
loading....
Of course some times your boss might just be a jerk about it anyway. I gave two months noticed, documented everything, worked overtime to write up detailed specs on every part of the code base, how to guides and general documents on how every part of my job was done. In the last week I was there I was working 10 hour days to be extra sure everything was in place and ready.
I even offered to do some very cheap consulting after I left if they needed a hand (not free, but under $25 an hour), which was turned down.
And three days before I left he chewed me out for slacking off. He claimed I was just stilling around wasting time because I only had a few days left and wasn’t doing anything but pulling a paycheck. When I left there wasn’t even a going away party (a brand new policy that came into affect just the week before and went away the week after).
A week later he asked if I would do some consulting. I offered a more realistic fee.
Two years later he was wondering if I wanted to come back.
Sometimes you’re not the one dropping the matches.
loading....
I’m still trying to quit my job – they keep calling me back! Ugh!
loading....
Dead on correct on all counts. I just left my job before Christmas, and followed all of these steps (without knowing this article), and it played out perfectly. Counter offer (refused), good relationship intact, letter in writing, written game plan for my departure.
loading....
These are great tips. It gets annoying when a coworker is leaving and doesn’t follow these guidelines. Your coworkers are probably happy for your career change, but badmouthing the company and constantly reminding people that you are “getting outta here” gets old real quick for those who have no plans to leave.
I have only quit one company, but I took care not to gloat, despite being overjoyed at leaving.
Also–I agree on not bothering with exit interviews. My coworkers wanted me to bring up the rampant sexual harrassment, but it was a small company owned by a husband and wife (he was the problem). The wife thought anyone who brought it up was lying, and if any of my coworkers stuck up for me, they’d be out of a job, which is what I told them. Life’s not fair like that, but I wasn’t going to bother persuing it legally, and bringing it up in an exit interview wouldn’t have led to any changes, so I decided to just move on.
loading....
I would add that it is important to never use an offer from another company as leverage to try and negotiate a promotion or raise. If you have to resort to these tactics to get what you deserve your current employer is most likely not a good long-term fit for you. More importantly, should lay-offs come down you will have just nominated yourself as the first one to go.
loading....
[...] Rich Slowly – How to Quit Your Job Gracefully. Great tips on how to resign if you are thinking about going to another employer. My tip – [...]
loading....
[...] Rich Slowly – How to Quit Your Job Gracefully. Great tips on how to resign if you are thinking about going to another employer. My tip – [...]
loading....
[...] February 4th: How to quit your job gracefully [...]
loading....
I lied to my bosses in order to quit the job…..stupid me. Only discovered this site later…damn! But, I managed to quit nicely and careful not to burn bridges. I lied that I was going bk to my home country when in fact, i hated that I was underworked, overpaid, and the following next 2 weeks I was going to work for a top agency which i simply can’t turn down. but i do feel guilty abt the lying, n y? bcos i was scared of a counter-offer, & at that time i didn’t know what to say in order not to burn bridges. They would have wanted me to stay as I was the only person doing the job, and i didn’t want to. besides, the bosses were very difficult on us and no one in the company stayed for more than 3 weeks!!! anyway…. i feel guilty abt lying….really, it was unnecessary. i wondered if anyone had done the same?
loading....
Great advice. It is really tough to actually quit, gracefully.
I read an article called, “The Graceful Exit” found at http://managerqanda.blogspot.com/2008/06/graceful-exit.html It really hit good points.
Well done.
loading....
[...] been busy lately…busy thinking, busy plotting, busy reading, busy cuddling, busy coping… Basically, all kinds of busy. Well, besides busy blogging or busy party planning that [...]
loading....
At my last employer, a third-party conversation over the weekend turned into a huge nightmare. The department was already becoming toxic, but that was the last straw for me. I walked in Monday morning and handed over my resignation letter and walked away with my dignity intact. During my exit interview a few weeks later, the corporate Vice President understood the situation after explaining the events that unfolded, where I was personally coming from, and left the door open for me to return to the company again if a new opportunity presented itself.
loading....
I left my job after being bullied. I signed a compromise agreement and had a medium size payout. However, I now feel I can not trust my previous employer to give me a fair reference. This person bullied me in isolation for two years. I finally left April 2008 after I could take no more. Since then I have not been able to get another job in April 2010 it will be two years unemployed for the first time in my life. How do you get another job when you can’t get a reference from your most recent employer?
loading....