How to Prepare for a Baby (Without Going Broke)

Wow, lots of comments!

As far as circumcision and breastfeeding go, I absolutely think that parents should do the research and make the best decision for their family. But if you’re ambivalent about it, foregoing the circumcision will definitely save money.

Personally, we decided to do the circumcision on our son, but I know it’s becoming more and more common not to circumcise.

And about waiting until you get out of debt, be careful that you don’t wait too long. It turned out that we had fertility problems, and if I had waited another 10 years to try to get pregnant, it probably wouldn’t have happened, so I’m very glad we didn’t wait.

Thanks for all your comments and great suggestions! There’s lots of stuff to think about here!

thanks for the tips!

My wife and I are planning to start having kids this year. These tid-bits have been helpful.

Another thing to consider is that a lot of the costs of having a baby are one-time costs, but can be used over and over. We are expecting #2 in June but won’t need a crib, stroller, car seat, and a bunch of other things because we still have them from our son. We’ll have to spend some to move our son into a bed, but even that will be minimal compared to what we spend when he was born.

Most people don’t circumcize their boys anymore, at least not here in Canada. I believe the rate here has fallen from about 50% in the 70s to less than 5% today. In fact, most of the men I know were not circumcized and they’re in their 30s.

Breastfeeding is definitely cheaper, more convenient and safer for most families. Some people, for a variety of reasons, are unable to do so and should not be made to feel bad about it. However, the vast majority of people can breastfeed if they have enough help and information.

Cloth diapers are great. We are doing this for the second time through. Considering that more and more research is showing that disposables contain phthalates, it seems like we made a good decision.

A word of caution about buying used furniture and car seats. Car seats have dates on them and are only good for 5 years (except for Britax). If you’re planning on spacing your kids 2-3 years apart, you’re going to need to buy another car seat. So you might as well buy a new one the first time.

Also, if you’re buying a new crib for $400, you’ll be able to sell it later for half that. But, if you buy a used crib for $200, you may not be able to sell it later. I believe general guidelines now say that cribs are only good for around 4 years or so. After that, consignment shops and Craigslist buyers won’t buy them. Same goes for strollers.

Of course, if you simply don’t have the money to buy new the first time, you can go with used. However, if you have a little extra cash, you should probably buy new.

(This said by a very frugal mom.)

When working with babies, I’ve witnessed a few circumcisions…and the babies always seem really miserable. Plus I’ve talked with the doctors and nurses and many of them think that it’s unnecessary and not really useful either.

Those are lots of good tips, too.

Diapers and food, especially if it is your first baby….once you clear 20 weeks, start buying diapers, baby food (and formula if not breast feeding)….look for the sales and stock up hard. We found diapers on sale numerous times and actually bought our first “post birth” diapers when our son was THREE Food, we also found numerous sales….people would look at us as if we were nuts because here we would come with a shopping cart FULL of baby food….it was normally .77 cents a jar and we found it on sale twice for .28 cents per jar…..we never bought baby food again.

Also, when you have your baby showers, ask for diapers, baby food, formula, you name it…..besides, you are most likely going to be taking a TON of items back to the store anyway, why not have a practical shower instead?
Good Luck if you are expecting!

Great to read your inspired post,

Its true , sharing & giving from friends saves ,

All the best,

Tracy Ho
wisdomgettingloaded

We used cloth diapers for our son, being determined to go “green” before that word was popular (we were “earth mothers” in those days). Well, the result was a ferocious case of diaper rash!!!

Ouch! Poor little baby. No amount of diaper rash cream helped.

Add to that the urine and poop all over everything (plastic panties aggravate diaper rash) and the discoveries that

a) paper diapers biodegrade and don’t take up that much room in landfills;

b) the energy costs of heating & consuming large quantities of wash water to wash cloth diapers several times a week and of making and marketing detergent, Clorox, and diaper rash creams equal or exceed the environmental costs of paper diapers; and

c) if you use a service, the consumption of gasoline for pick-up and delivery and for employees to drive to a plant to work plus the use of environmentally unfriendly commercial wash products will up those environmental costs significantly.

The diaper rash cleared up as soon as we switched to disposable diapers.

BTW, there’s nothing cruel or abusive about saying “no” to every little whim. To the contrary, it may be abusive to shower kids with everything they want.

The adult children I know today who suffer the worst psychological and behavioral problems grew up with affluent parents who couldn’t bring themselves to say “no” and still can’t. One woman persists in paying auto insurance and buying cars for a 25-year-old daughter who drinks and drives — even after the kid got a DWI. Poor baby can’t get to work if Mom doesn’t pay for her car, and heaven forfend she should take the bus and learn the real cost of irresponsibility.

Some children never recover from a lifetime of unthinking indulgence by their parents.

My husband and I practice the attached parenting style which also decreases our necessary expenses. By co-sleeping we avoid the cost of cribs or bassinets all together. By baby wearing we don’t need swings, bouncy chairs or other safe confinement devices. We do have a pack-n-play for times when its inconvenient/illogical to hold the baby (like while cooking).

@ ak, I’d like to see your sources because I’ve been researching circumcision and have yet to find any conclusive benefits. FYI, most other countries don’t circumcise and don’t have higher rates of infections, STDS, or damaging effects.

Please make sure you research any decision you make (cloth diapering, breastfeeding, circumcision) and make it YOUR choice.
http://www.circumstitions.com/Mayo.html

I think the biggest one on the list is preparing for maternity leave – its a year of pretty much one income. This is something that can be virtually catastrophic for someone seriously in debt. I know its the one that I’ll be thinking about most when my wife is pregnant.

The trust may be a good idea, but really, the odds that not one of you but -both- should be incapitated or dead (with the kid still alive, if you all die in a plane-crash the trust isn’t needed) is so vanishingly small that there are literally thousands of other risks more worth worrying about.

ALL TRUE! I did MOST of it when preparing for my son (he is two and half now)! My sister is getting ready to have a baby now and I tried to tell her not to buy anything, wait for the baby showers…she didn’t listen and it has been difficult for everyone to buy her gifts for her shower. All scared she bought it already! I know she needs things…so it is a shame she didn’t let anyone help!

@Ben-David several midwives deliver in hospitals or free standing birthing centers. One of the requirements of several home-birth midwives are that you must be within 50 miles of a hospital. I’m sure your wife’s labor was not progressing (which a midwife would be able to identify just as easily as a doctor) which led to the decision to have an emergency c-section. A woman can always be transferred to a hospital if her labor becomes complicated, however, you can’t just leave a hospital and have a baby at home if your labor is going well.

We’ve got 3, twin girls and a son.

One thing that strikes me is that though there is much sound advice, there is also much that is nonsense, or which neglects stuff that may -GASP- be more important than money.

There are many reasons you may want to give birth at home. Saving what is, in the greater scheme of things, a minute amount of cash is NOT one of them.

Similarily, deciding to let your son undergo surgery or not, based on a few hours salary is downright crazy. There are many reasons both ways, I’d never even consider it, but spending the needed cash is not a reason.

Indeed — isn’t that why you’re saving in the first place ? For being able to spend it on important stuff ? If giving birth to your child doesn’t qualify as “important” I don’t know what will.

Also, don’t forget to optimise for TIME, young parents tend to have even less of that than of CASH. You may, or may not, save money on using cloth-diapers and washing, it depends on energy and water prices and many other things. What is however certain is that it’ll cost you a LOT of time.

Having -TIME- for your children should also, in my not particularily humble opinion, qualify as IMPORTANT.

Our twin girls for example, in their 6 first months each needed to be changed aproximately all 4 hours (your mileage may vary, in general you need to change MORE with cloth-diapers), this works out to 8 a day, 55 a week, which where we live is 1 packet of diapers, cost of which is equivalent of 20 minutes of work.

How much time does it take to rinse, wash, dry, fold, put away 56 cloth-diapers ? I don’t know. Seems a fair bet it’s more than 20 minutes. So if money was the main priority, I’d be better off working 20 minutes more and going with disposables. Unless rinsing and washing cloth-diapers is more pleasant than your day-job, in which case I humbly suggest you should consider a change of careers.

I realize couples with only 1 child aren’t as pressed for time as we are with 3, including the baby twins, but on the other hand, if it’s your first (and it will be if you’ve got only one) then you need more time for some stuff because you ain’t yet got the routine.

Another option to consider as far as diapers go: a brand called gDiapers. I haven’t tried them yet (I’m due in June) but am excited about it. They combine the environmentalism of cloth diapers with the convenience of diposables. They just have an insert that you flush down the toilet (or even throw away) and unlike disposables the do biodegrade. The website has a video that shows that it is completely gone within a year compared to disposables which were still fully intact.

If anyone has used these, do they work well?
I hope so, personally I’m not quite ready to make the jump to cloth.

P.S. Still a lot cheaper than diposables!

Lisa,

Since you’re in Thailand, you’re in a great position to do early potty training. It’s the norm in the non-Westernized world. There will be many older women over there who can give you practical tips.

The non-Westernized world is astounded and somewhat sickened that we force our babies and small children to wear what are essentially soft portapotties at ages when their kids have long been using the potty on their own. We use more resources, from landfills, petroleum, water, and soaps; we go to much higher expenses. And we have a much higher germ load from it.

It is easy, positive, and natural. Babies are geared at birth not to soil themselves, although they don’t have the ability to hold it long. If you catch their cue, they can hold it a short while so you can get them to the right spot so they can let go. It’s actually less trouble than changing diapers (and washing them): get familiar with their schedule and cues, and then just have a covered container handy to hold them over. There are portable covered baby potties that are perfect for this, or you can just use your own toilet. They DO learn, early, to hold it until they’re in position. And once they’re old enough to put themselves in position, they’ll use it with no problems. The knowledge and willingness is what we really mean by potty training, because even 3-year-olds usually need some help in the bathroom, and about as much as a 12-month-old in terms of handling clothes.

You’re in Thailand, so you may be able to buy the Chinese split-crotch baby clothes that are specifically made for this. They wear these from birth until they’re old enough to pull down their pants on their own, so they come in tiny sizes.

I mentioned how good this is for the environment, health, and budget, but it’s even better for the child’s self-esteem. No power struggles this way; no sense that they are a “baby”. No falling asleep in their own excrement that they are powerless to get out of.

I encourage you to give it a try, especially given where you’re living. The book I mentioned in a previous post is an excellent, research-based resource.

I have to admit this is a really great article!! My fiance and I are getting married May 2012, all of our friends have children we have quite a few with 2 or more. Although we are younger, we have always had a love for babies and know that after the wedding we will be ready. My in-laws already have a daughter who is 12 years older than us but has never been married or had children, so you can assume that the in-laws are ready for grandchildren. However, people are always trying to scare us by saying “babies are too expensive” some even say that “they ruin your life” but we have both been such baby-lovers that it was hard to believe. For a while we actually believed them until I came across this post. After reading it with my future husband, we feel much more better about having a baby. I have started looking at craigslist and cant believe how much stuff you can get at such a low price! Beats buying overpriced stuff at the store. Best thing about buying the stuff from craigslist is (if your like us and only want one child), you can sell it to others and get your money back!

Thank you EVERYONE for the comments & thank you for the post! You have made our lives so much better(: