Saving for Baby: Making the Move from Two Salaries to One
Published on - September 7th, 2008 (by J.D. Roth) This is a guest post from Corrinne Fisher, who is transitioning from career woman to stay-at-home mom.
I stared down at the two pink stripes on the pregnancy test with the same feeling one has when they find themselves strapped into the front of a roller-coaster. Heart pounding, you start to wonder whether you really want to take this ride, but the decision has already been made. And as you climb to the top of the first giant drop, you realize that for better or for worse, there’s no turning back.
For us, this was something we wanted. We’d been married for several years, had found financial security, and had decided that it was time to expand our family. But once “trying” became “we are”, we had some major thinking to do. Planning our financial future was topmost on that list. We faced another challenge because we decided not to use daycare, but to have one of us stay home to raise our daughter.
I hope that by sharing our financial preparations with other expecting parents, we might help them develop a plan that will allow them the freedom to make the choices that suit their plans and values.
Start from a good financial perspective
By the grace of some very influential resources, we were able to start this baby savings plan from a place of financial security. Neither of us earns large salaries; however, we have learned some financial lessons that have helped us to talk and to plan for this major life change.
- From David Bach’s Smart Couples Finish Rich, we learned how to talk about our values and have them govern our spending decisions. This helped us establish a financial dialogue that is the foundation of our marriage and has bridged the gap between the spender and the saver.
Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover taught us to eliminate debt and to shed the mentality that carrying debt was just the way it was. His book also helped us establish our goal of a fully-funded emergency account.- The third resource was the Get Rich Slowly website and blog. This has helped me, in particular, learn tips and strategies to maintain a lifestyle to help us continue our path to financial security. I’ve obtained some good advice from parents that helped us to create a plan that will allow one of us to stay home with our baby.
Evaluate your current budget
What are your necessities and fixed expenses? Who makes what? Can you meet your fixed expenses and necessities with one salary? Our answer was “just barely”. If we eliminated travel to see family, fun money, and frivolous purchases, we could do it, but those are exactly the type of choices that would have us turning to credit cards. We needed find a way to supplement our single income with a little more money per month.
Identify expenses that can be cut if necessary, such as separate phone services and bills, the number of dinners out, or cable television. We found that between online viewing and Netflix, we are able to watch just about everything we would want. We go back to the values-based decision making. What is more important to us, having a parent at home or having access to some of these “perks”?
Calculate new insurance premiums into your fixed expenses
Make sure you have a good medical insurance plan, and anticipate the change in premiums when you move from a single plan to a family plan. Our premiums rose by a shocking $400 per month. Additionally, start looking at life insurance plans — it’s more important than ever now that three people are dependent on one wage-earner. Consider this when you are looking at your budget and your fixed expenses.
Create a new savings account
We opened a new account at ING Direct called “Baby IRA”. The money deposited there will be drawn in the leaner months, much like distributions on a retirement account. We have been contributing to that account twice a month when I receive my check. We have accumulated enough to supplement my husband’s income, permitting an occasional night out or a trip to see family.
Reduce dependency on one of your salaries
Since we had become accustomed to two salaries, it didn’t seem likely that we could stick to a plan where we could immediately sock away my salary. Instead, we took a graduated approach to savings, taking a greater sum from each of my checks each month until we have reached saving (almost) the whole sum of my check. In the last month, we allowed ourselves a little more flexibility to allow us to live it up during our last days as a twosome.
We’ve agreed that our emergency savings should not be used to support our new lifestyle, but should remain untouched until we have an emergency. That said, should my husband lose his job, we could survive a few months before we would be facing dire circumstances. This makes it easier to leave the security of that second salary.
Talk to your boss
As soon as I knew that we weren’t going to use daycare, I told my boss about the dilemma. Ideally, I would like to continue my relationship with my employer and earn some additional income, but I understand that my decision creates a hardship for the company. Luckily, we have agreed that I will take on a portion of my job and work as a consultant when I complete my unpaid maternity leave. Had this not been an option, I would have been working my network to see if I could find some project-based consulting that utilized my skills.
Please note, that consulting comes with its own expenses and needs to be budgeted and accounted for — not only for the day-to-day expenses, but also the taxes that will need to be estimated and saved.
Beg, borrow, and buy used
There’s no reason folks need to spend tons of money in anticipation of a baby — most of the stuff can be reused. We accepted a range of hand-me-downs from maternity clothes to all of the baby stuff. While we don’t always get the best or cutest baby accoutrements, we are happy to know that we have barely spent any money out of pocket for the items that we need.
Save gift cards for upcoming needs
We received a lot of gift cards. We have used a couple to buy necessities, but have saved the bulk of them for things we will need in the future from clothing to diapers to who knows what. These cards will help us to weather the changes to our budget that a new baby brings on.
Putting the plan into action
We welcomed our daughter Cecelia on August 4th, and have just recently sat down to reevaluate our budget and the increases in many of our expenses. It is going to be tight year, and I am sure we have some tough spending decisions ahead. However, we have a solid plan, an account to draw on saved especially for this purpose, and a plan to continue supplementing our income with additional work.
There is no guarantee that we won’t have financial struggles, but we are well on our way to feeling secure in our decision to have one of us stay home with the baby.
Roller-coaster photo by gaelenh. Photo of parents and baby by J.D., and is not a photo of Corrinne and her family.
This post is part of the MBN Group Writing Project for September. Other participants include:
- Mighty Bargain Hunter: Save Money When You’re Young
- Wise Bread: 6 Random Things I Have Taught My Kids About Money
- SmarterWallet: 8 Summer Fun Activites That Won’t Break The Bank
- The Digerati Life: How Much Do You Need to Save for College?
- BluntMoney: Buying Kids Cars
GRS is committed to helping our readers save and achieve your financial goals.Savings interest rates may be low, but that’s all the more reason to shop for the best rate.Find the highest savings interest rate from Ally Bank, Capital One 360, Everbank, and more.
This article is about Budgeting, Choices, Kids, Planning
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I’d love to see an article about how to divide childcare responsibilities. I am the breadwinner (of my boyfriend and I). He just quit his job to go back to school, but even when he worked, I made substantially more than he did.
Unfortunately, even in today’s day and age, people often assume that it will be the woman who takes time off and changes jobs. I’d like to see this discussed from a perspective that doesn’t assume that. I know I don’t want to quit running my business to take care of a child, which is one reason I haven’t had a child yet.
-Erica
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Thank you so much for this article! My husband and I are expecting in January, planning to reduce from two incomes to a single income (actually, two half-incomes), and are hoping to buy a house soon, so budgeting is critical. The article made me realize I was not properly budgeting for medical insurance premiums, which could have been a big mistake!
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Good advice here!
Re: Erica’s response — I’ve been the family wage-slave for the past 6.5 years, after my husband left his career to be a stay-at-home dad (SAHD) for first one, then two kids. Although numbers seem to be rising for this arrangement, it’s still so unusual as to make a lot of people uncomfortable when we mention it. Our ideal was/is to each work 40-60% with benefits, but we haven’t worked that out, yet (but we will still have kids around for 14 years or so . . . ).
Financially, we could have gone either way — our salaries were nearly even, but my job and employer were far more flexible in terms of hours and location (work from home nearly 100% now). Of course, I intentionally chose careers that don’t require much face time, so that’s a planning issue also. So far, our current arrangement has been very good for my family, although my husband is looking forward to pursuing a business or job when the kids are both in full-time school next year.
Slightly off topic, but I would suggest that knowing all laws and finances involved with maternity leave can make a big difference in even deciding to move from two salaries to one and in choosing which parent will stay home. If you work for a big company, California is probably the best place in the US to take a maternity leave, especially if you can afford to take an unpaid leave — job protected unpaid maternity leave goes for 4.5 months, and permits part-time leave. Disability can provide some pay during that time, depending on your employer. I took the entire 4.5 month maternity leave in a chunk with #1, then stretched my maternity leave out with #2 with 4 weeks off full-time, then 9 months of 2-4 day/week work schedules, with most work days at home. Both options made a huge difference in my ability to stay at my job. If anyone knows of better benefits elsewhere in the US or internationally, that might be good to know.
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Great article… lots of things to think about as my family prepares for our second baby.
Just a note about the gift cards – it might behoove you to spend them sooner rather than later and stockpile things like diapers, clothes, etc. Many companies charge service fees and/or have expiration dates for their gift cards after a certain amount of time. I learned this the hard way last year.
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Thanks for the great advice. My wife and I aren’t expecting yet, but we are planning for her to stay at home once we are. It’s a little scary already, knowing that we will be losing one full salary, but we are working hard now to prepare for it. Your story was very helpful.
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Great post. I like the idea of a baby account to help cover unexpected expenses (which there will be).
Erica – I have a 3yr old and a 1yr old and have had a bunch of different arrangements over the years. When my first son was born we were planning on using daycare but after he was here we decided against it. I was bringing in most of the $ and loved my job so I continued to work. My husband cut back a lot and we had family pitch in. The family stuff only lasted so long and then my husband was a full-time SAHD and worked some on weekends. As my son got older I realized I really wanted to be home too. So when I was pregnant with my 2nd I left my job. I was a full-time SAHM for 4 months before I got part-time consulting work from home. Now my husband I and both work part-time which is the best for both of us and the kids.
Based on my own experience the advice I would give is:
1 – Expect change.
Kids change, your feelings change, your finances change, etc. The more comfortable you are with that the better able you are to craft a situation that works for you. By consulting I have a job that could disapear but by being ok with the possibility it has allowed me to have a great experience raising my kids.
2 – Be essential at work.
Most companies (even very traditional ones) make exceptions and allowances for their star employees. Be an essential part of your company and they will be much more willing to accept a schedule/arrangement that works for you.
3 – Try to keep some work in your life.
Even when my husband was not working much he always did some. It was essential to his sanity more than just for the $.
4 – Understand your partner’s day.
The best part about sharing child care responsibility (besides both getting to be a big part of our kids lives) is that we understand what the other person has been going through all day. When I hear other mom’s complain about their husbands it is usually because their spouse has no idea how hard it is to be a full-time mom. We’ve changed our household roles and responsibilities more times that I can count, but it is so much easier when the other person can understand what is hard about each person’s job.
Look forward to more post about parenting.
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By the time we subtracted day care for two kids, gasoline and wear and tear on the extra vehicle, work clothes and a reduced tax bill due to our reduced income, we found that it cost us $100 a month for my wife to quit… Definitely worth the expense.. jegan
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Corrinne – I have a nine month old and he is a hand full. My wife and I hope to do the same as well. It’s inspiring to know others who are doing this as well.
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Five years ago, after we had our first child, we dropped her off at daycare on the first day my wife went back to work. I remember getting into my car and coming to the first stop sign (my wife was in her car, directly behind mine, as she was on her way back to her job for the first time since taking maternity leave). I was really sad about leaving my little one in the daycare, even though my mother was not a stay-at-home mom. I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw my wife in her car, tears streaming from her eyes.
That week we decided she would quit her job (actually, she decided : ).
Alhough financially it was *extremely* difficult the first 3 years, it forced me to really focus on our finances and amazingly during that time we paid off all debt (and we had tons…student loans, cars, credit card, etc). It’s amazing what you can do when you *have* to do it!
My wife is going to start working again next year, and with our new-found income from her working we’ll be able to afford our ‘dream house’. Had she kept working we wouldn’t have learned how to control our spending. Losing half of our income was the best thing that every happened to our finances.
Best of luck to you.
mark
http://www.elearninglive.com
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Thank you for a great article.
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When my wife became pregnant with our first child we made a decision to delay her going back to work. We had a second and the plan was that when the second child started school she would return to work. We kept things simple ( day trips to museums and aquariums instead of a week in Cancun ) and managed to live comforably on one income … for a while.
Just before our second entered school, my wife developed a progressive chronic illness ( fibromyalgia ) that has created an unexcpected financial burden ( insurance will only pay for addictive pain killers or drugs that have nasty side effects ) and leaves her unable to work. Around the same time, I was diagnosed with Type 1 ( juvenile diabetes ).
No amount of financial planning could have prepared us to face a future of heavy medical expenses ( the thought of losing the job and health insurance is quite scary). There is not cure for either disease. My wife has been denied for long term care insurance ( fortunately we both had life insurance just before we were diagnosed ).
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You covered well a lot of financial preparedness for having a baby and rightly so as raising a baby to adult is costly.
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Thanks for the great post. My wife and I are working hard to pay off debt right now with the intentions of having a child. We are very adamant about raising our own kids (as opposed to having them raised by babysitters, grandparents and teachers). It’s a tough thing to do in today’s society but luckily with modern technology, there is a lot of opportunity for my wife to earn some income while staying at home.
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I second the suggesion to borrow what you can. Every child’s preferences are different, and there is no sense in buying something until you know what your child will like. (This goes for kids in the same family too.)
Also, it is worthwhile to consider retirement savings when evaluating the cost of going to one salary.
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Thanks! My husband and I are waiting for that positive pregnancy test, and I’d really like to be able to stay home with the baby. I’m doubtful that I’ll be able to, but it’s important enough to me that I can’t stop trying…..
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You were much more prepared than my wife and I were. Unfortunately, I still read opinions of people who believe that it really doesn’t cost much to raise a child (especially during the “baby” phase). That advice plays down the much-warranted caution this great post advocates.
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Seven months ago my wife resigned from her treasury managerial job to focus on our baby. It was tough financially as we have to adjust our budget and lessen our fun trips. What I did to “soften” the impact of the reduced cash flow was we did limit our spending by buying only stuffs we really need. I also found more web development projects to add more cash into your daily expense. It was tough by the idea of your partner taking care of your baby is all worth it.
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@TosaJen:
I don’t know if you’d consider it better but in the UK women are entitled to up to 12 months maternity leave with the first 6 weeks at 90% of pay, and the next 33 weeks at a standard rate (£110 a week?).
The only catch is that you’re only guaranteed your own job back if you return within 6 months, but if you return later you’re guaranteed either your own job, or one at the same level (if that makes sense).
I suspect that the situation is better in other European countries.
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Great tips. I am justing getting married and I am only 20 so i don’t think I will be having kids for the next couple of years, but this is a great post which has alot of great information. Thankyou very much
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Some further advice about insurance, which I wish I’d had before I quit work:
If your plan is to be a stay-at-home parent when the baby comes, get your life and *especially* disability insurance in order before you leave work. The amount of life insurance you can get (I’m talking term life, of course) depends on your salary – and if you’re a full-time parent, guess how much that is? Likewise and doubly so for disability insurance. Since parenthood is an unpaid job, you can’t have your salary ‘replaced’ if you become disabled due to illness or injury. Yet it’s estimated that replacing the work of an at-home parent can be up to six figures (US$). Before you quit work – maybe before you announce your intention to quit, get a non-cancelable disability policy. If your employer offers disability insurance, you can save a lot, but note that the policy will usually only pay 60% of your salary, and may be cancelable.
I can think of few situations worse than an accident or illness leaving the at-home spouse permanently disabled, unable to care for themselves or the children, and the other spouse trying to cover care for everyone, medical bills, plus basic expenses with only one salary.
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At this point, I would also recommend that the couple give each one a “luxury budget.” You know, this could be any amount — but it is important that they have the same amount and that one doesn’t ask the other how he or she spent the money. There are really a lot of adjustments done when you’re married. I have an upcoming article in http://www.CrackingGold.com entitled “Financially Wise And Married.” Do visit us some time.
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Also know, if it is your first kid, you might not be cut out for staying at home. My wife was in the position to do it (making a smaller income than me) and she hated it. Your brain slowly turns to vegetable without adult interaction.
Lots of people love being at home with a baby, and my wife said there were lots of plusses. But it wasn’t roses and sunshine, and she went back to work relatively quickly (when my daughter was 2 years).
My girl flourished in day care, learning to be outgoing and social. Her day care providers hadn’t finished college, but frankly they were better with kids than we were, and we learned a lot from them.
My little girl is now in 1st grade and doing very well, and I have no regrets for having her do day care and pre-school.
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Thanks for the great post! We are actually expecting our first child this week — !!!!! — and are still working out the details of post-maternity leave child care. I appreciate blog postings on this subject, and particularly, the supportive, positive comments.
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This is a really great post, especially for my wife and I. We struggled for quite a while to get pregnant, and now that we are expecting it’s time for us to start making some of the financial decisions you discussed.
I also like the idea of using gift cards and hand me downs to get started. I’ll also probably try to dig up a few extra dollars so my wife can have fun buying a few new things for the baby(s). Overall though I think people spend WAY to much on the little one initially. No $1500 cribs for my kiddo.
I’m not ever sure our king bed cost that much!
I posted this morning about our struggles getting pregnant and going through in vitro fertilization, in case any of your readers are in the same boat:
http://harvestingdollars.com/2008/09/08/the-cost-of-ivf-in-vitro-fertilization/
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I am applying much of your advice to my plan to exit the rat race and be a stay-home dad. My wife does not currently work, but would like to teach within the next couple years. If I go home, and she becomes a teacher, I’ll definitely need to boost my own “Baby IRA” to draw from when freelance income is down. Great post!
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It’s a challenge, but we are raising (and homeschooling) six children on one mid-five-figure income. More than saving, more than budgeting, more than any other single factor, the best thing we’ve done has been improve our communication skills. When I really, really wanted a Wii, my husband reminded me of our long-term goals. Do I want a Wii badly enough to leave the kids at day care and public school and go back to work to pay for it? No? Let’s wait, then. Craigslist and Freecycle have saved the day for us numerous times and are great resources! (Not that you’d ever find a Wii there, but for clothes, furniture and the occasional nice thing you just can’t bring yourself to buy they are a blessing.)
It saves my sanity that my husband appreciates my work here at home. We used to joke when we were both employed about how it would be nice to sit around and eat bon-bons all day. Now that I’m a SAHM, I’ve learned there is not time for bon-bons!
We’ve done without things that a lot of our peers consider “essential” like cell phones, satellite TV and vacations, but it has been so worth it to be here to watch our kids grow up and be such a close-knit family.
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I am currently a stay at home mom (holding her 3 month old as she types!) who is also a graduate student in the last stages of her dissertation. Before our son was born, I thought it wouldn’t be that hard to either work a bit from home or to find affordable part-time child care. I was wrong on both counts. I find it nearly impossible to carve out time to write, and when I looked into part-time day care, I found out in our area it costs between $500-600 a month for only 2 days a week. Now I’m left trying to figure out if I should just take a leave of absence. Nothing can prepare you for how all consuming taking care of an infant is. So if you take on part-time at home work, be prepared for how little you might get done.
On another note, I urge potential stay at home moms or dads to consider cloth diapers. We have saved a ton of money that way. Most of our initial start up costs for cloth (ca. $200) were gifts at showers. Everytime I go to buy disposable (we use them on occassion), I am amazed at the cost. I can’t say I’d recommend cloth for a child in day care (most won’t even allow them), but if you are home and can wash during the day, it really is cost effective and also more environmental.
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Somewhere in the fogs of time I read about investing for your children. As I recall, fifty dollars a month, from birth, til eighteen, is enough that by the time they are forty the compound interest of an index fund will have served them well..(Geesh, that is a convoluted sentence!) I am sure you get the point.. congratulations by the way..
Charles
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I like how you planned so well to shift to one income! We’re a two-income household, but I’d like us to save the equivalent of my take-home pay eventually. I’m able to save about half right now, but I’ve been frustrated that we can’t do more. Your advice to taper things will help us out.
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Great article. I like how the author makes the case that this, like many of life’s milestones, is a transition that goes smoothest when there have been months of preparation leading up to it. Even if a couple has done work to predict future costs and incomes, I would emphasize having a financial cushion built up. It is hard to really predict cash flow until you are in the middle of it. If the couple has a cushion, and their costs are exceeding their income, they can use their cushion to make up the difference until a solution can be worked out. It is much easier to have a conversation about how if the current path continues, they will run out of money in 5 years than to find out that at a current rate of spending, there isn’t enough money for this months mortgage.
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Thanks for a great article and to all the commenters above. My wife and I are currently expecting (early Feb).
We got some excellent advice to live now on what you will be making when the baby comes. So we have re-structured our finances so that my income is the sole source of revenue, her income now goes to pay down debt so we get a double wammy.
We make use of automated payments where possible, this simplifies things so that when we get everything sorted out it should require very minimal intervention when the baby comes, when we are sleep deprived and grouchy!
So far this is working well, I earn more than she does, which makes things easier that’s for sure.
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@Jeff – How did you go about re-structuring your finances? We want to do something similar, but the way bills come out at varying times of the month, vs. paydays, it’s been hard to do that. Over the course of a month we can sock the equivalent of 1.5 of my checks towards debt, but not all at once (ie, a whole check at a time). How did you start doing this? Did you have to use savings as a cushion while you started it?
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Good article. I am an attorney and have always been driven to work, but decided to try being a SATM, something I never would have thought I wanted, and I love it. Yes it’s hard some days, but worth it for us. Financially, we have had to cut back on ‘fun’ stuff, and may be forced to cut back on retirement savings later this year since we have some changes coming. I thought I would be able to do some work from home, but have found I don’t have the time and dedication to do it.
We used Craigslist for maternity clothes and the few things we needed and weren’t given. Cloth diapers are easy to use, wash, are much cheaper than disposable and can be used for the second one. Plus BREASTFEED! If you have difficulty, buy books, find friends who made it work, or hire a lacation consultant.
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One major issue about being a stay at home parent is that in many states in the case of divorce you are left in significantly lower financial circumstances than the spouse who continued to work. While all assets are split, the spouse who worked will have a significantly higher salary.
Among people I know, women are especially vulnerable when the children head off to college. In many states, alimony has been replaced by child support, so if there are no children to support, the previously stay at home spouse is left with an entry level salary, whereas the person who remained in the workforce has a salary which has increased over the previous ten to twenty years.
I don’t really have a solution except that it is even more important to someone who is at home that as much money as possible is saved in order to come out with something at the end in case of divorce.
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This comment is for Khurt Williams, I hope you see it.
Khurt, please have your wife check out http://www.fibromyalgiatreatment.com or pick up a copy of “What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Fibromyalgia” By Dr. Paul St. Amand and Claudia Merick. I also have fibromyalgia and was lucky enough to find this book. I also was unable to work for almost 2 years. Last year I was able to get a part-time job and I am now looking for full-time work. The treatment outlined in the book and on the web-site is not expensive and they don’t sell anything. It is not a quick-fix and it is not always easy in terms of symptoms, but it is no worse than the disease, and it does work!
Good luck!
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As a current stay at home mother (SAHM) I have to disagree with Erika Sparks in regards to life insurance. While it’s an excellent idea to get life insurance set up in advance of getting pregnant and becoming a SAHM, I had no problem obtaining a policy. A term life policy can be purchased for whatever amount you want as long as you are willing to pay the premiums and are healthy. Your job, unless in a high risk occupation, has no bearing on your insurability. In fact, children can purchase insurance policies or can be insured on riders to their parents policies even without assets, job skills, or careers.
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I’m an at home mom. I’d say “stay at home”, except I’m never home and I also run two businesses. I look like a SAHM, because I do my work during the kids’ naps and after their bedtimes. I make a very good living and I have no childcare expenses. If I needed to go back to work outside the home, I could do so at a very good salary. This is the best of all worlds for my family. We have a stay at home parent, a solid income and no risks from one person being out of the workforce. Plus we have the cost savings of extended breastfeeding, cloth diapers, home-prepared meals and so on.
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@ Marlene: JD was king enough to forward your comment to me. Thanks for the link. The challenge for us has not been finding health expertise. Princeton has enough doctors to fill a stadium. My wife is getting excellent care for her illness. However, most healthcare specialist in the are do NOT take insurance and the ones that do are under pressure from the insurance company to hand you a pill and see you on your way. We decided to pay for what works and there-in lies the financial challenge.
Your may wish to visit fibromyalgia.ning.com. It’s a social network for fibromyalgia that I started last year.
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We signed up for UPromise (a college savings program) before we’ve had a child. Earnings accumulate easily in this free program. More about it is posted at http://blog.tangentminds.com/2008/09/college-savings.html
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I’d also add reading the Tightwad gazette, extreme frugality, but it works.
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This was a great article, and as mentioned already in some of the other comments, I think that it applies equally well to any transition from two salaries to one. My wife recently went back to school, and a lot of the steps listed in the article are things we also felt we needed to do, in one way or another, to make our budget work: increase our savings cushion, reevaluate our subscriptions/services, and inherit or buy used instead of buying new.
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