I had breakfast at a local diner the other day. Over my blueberry pancakes, I eavesdropped on the next table over. (It wasn’t difficult — these folks were loud.)
Eight people from the wedding industry had gathered to swap hints, tips, and stories. They talked about networking, about wedding expos, and about dealing with problem customers. They also talked about some of the financial aspects of their business.
“I was really worried about how this economy was going to affect us,” said one woman. I think she was a wedding coordinator. “But it only seems to be hurting the venues.”
“Yeah,” said the guy across the table from her. “People are getting married in their parents’ back yard or on their grandparents’ farm. They’re spending less for the location, but not on anything else.”
“Do any of your clients ever try to dicker?” asked one man, a D.J..
“Dicker?” a woman asked.
“You know, try to bargain on the price,” he explained.
Everyone answered at once: “A few.” “Some do.” “Once in a while.” The consensus was that a small number of couples asked for discounts on wedding services.
“What do you do in that situation?” asked the D.J. Most of the people admitted they’d lower their prices to get the job.
“I say I’ll give them a discount, but only if they commit right now,” said the wedding co-ordinator. “I won’t do it if they’re just going to call around trying to play us off each other.”
“What about you?” she asked the D.J.
“Well, I normally charge $995, though I charge up to $1500 if they’re getting married someplace fancy,” he said. “I won’t come down if I think they have money. Otherwise, I’ll drop as low as $850.”
Think about that: If you’re spending a lot on other aspects of your wedding, this disc jockey will ask for more than he would normally. But if you ask for a discount, he’ll give you one. Basically, he’ll charge you as much as he thinks you can pay. And the other folks at the table would grant you discounts too — if you asked for them.
It never hurts to ask for a lower price.
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Gaurav here…Good information about wedding planning negotiating. DJs are willing to negotiate as well as photographers due to stiff competition. I always try to get up to 3 quotes and once I have the high- middle – low quotes, I know pretty much what my wiggle room is. That is a good negotiating start.
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In 1931 my grandfather sent a letter back to his hometown in Sicily to ask for a suitable bride to be sent to him in America. My grandmother was matched to him (an original mail order bride) and with money my grandfather have sent to her bought a third class ticket to join him in Cleveland. Once she arrived they went to the local Catholic church and exchanged vows and wedding rings (10 dollars a piece). From there they walked to my great grand mothers house to celebrate with a lunch cooked by relatives. This marriage sadly ended earlier this year with the parting of my grandfather.
So what I think we can all take from this is that just because you can spend oodles of money for ice sculptures and custom wedding DVD’s does not guarantee anything. Only a lifetime and investment in each other can yield a long and fruitful life together.
Some other fun facts about my grandparents:
-My grandfather was 17 my grandmother 14 on their wedding day.
-My grandmother did not speak English when she arrived and didn’t really learn till WWII.
-My grandfather was buried with his wedding ring, my grandmother is still wearing hers.
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Saying an expensive wedding is a waste of money is like saying an expensive car is a waste of money. Or any expensive thing. It all boils down to what your budget can handle, and what’s important to you.
I personally had a lovely wedding for less than $7000. My cousin had a lovely wedding for less than $800. My best friend had a lovely wedding for less than $20,000. In all cases, everything from the catering to the photography was paid for in cash. The money had been set aside for this purpose, and each of us spent it in ways that made us happy and made our celebration special.
It sounds like a lot of people are pretty bitter about weddings in general, and I have to wonder why…?
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We did our wedding for under $4,000, in a hot air balloon over Sonoma Country, CA, with ensuing champagne reception and an evening dinner, with about 10 guests, three of whom we flew in from other parts in the country, and for all of whom we paid for a nice hotel room (that’s included in the $4,000 mentioned above). Since everybody wanted to pitch in, and since we had two complete households and didn’t want any presents, everybody got to. My best friend is a passionate baker and wanted to make the cake–check. My other best friend is great with makeup and hair–check. Another friend put the bouquet and the boutonniere together–check–and yet another one is a really good photographer–check that, too. We took everybody up with us in the hot air balloon, where the pilot (an ordained minister) performed the ceremony, and we tossed rose petals in the air and blew bubbles at the unsuspecting people “down there.” The champagne reception was great (we used an iPod with speakers as “DJ”), as was the ensuing winetasting at Kendall Jackson for which I had downloaded coupons from the internet. We had booked the evening dinner (balloon weddings are in the early morning) as a family reunion in a hip gourmet restaurant (Rocker Oysterfeller in Valley Forge/ Sonoma County, CA), which meant that we got to eat a la carte and to listen to the live band there who, when they found out that we’d gotten married in the morning, played a few songs for us. Major check.
My tip: Keep it simple, the guest list short, and add one unforgettable moment to your big day that your guests will keep remembering forever (for us, this was the balloon ride). If you’re offered help from friends and family, accept it; it allows them to participate in your big day rather than being a “consumerist recipient” of the fun. And ditch the costly wedding planners–you can do this yourself if you’re organized and know how to use tools like those at theknot.com.
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is anyone else a little creeped out by the “eavesdropping” posts? i think i would be horrified if i found that my diner/gym/wherever conversations were being listened to, transcribed, and published on the internet, where anyone could read them at any time now and into the future. i guess the concept of privacy doesn’t mean much anymore.
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Well said Anne. Best post on here.
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The “just asking” tip works well for a lot of things, not just weddings. For example, friends of our saved 15% off of their medical bills from when they had a baby last year. Just because they asked.
Just ask – it can’t hurt – and could help a ton!
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hey! i resent that! i work in the wedding industry and not everybody is like that!
but still… I do calligraphy and wedding invitations and I try to be fair with my prices all the time!
ok, I DO NOT resent it, I was just kidding
btw I have a blog of personal finances too, and Ive been following you since quite some time. Love your blog!
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Weddings have become like most things, a competition for the best or biggest. People feel others may not be impressed by a smaller or less expensive wedding, so they put on an expensive show. Remember, if your guests have fun, that’s all that counts (and skip the Electric Slide).
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@ S. Flemming
I agree, a wedding is simply the first step in hopefully a life together. Our wedding cost perhaps $200 and almost 25 years later I’m still somewhat embarrassed by how hockey it was. On the other hand I’ve been to several top of the line expensive weddings, and at first it used to really bother me, but seeing all of them end in divorce after a year or two has tempered my feelings about our wedding.
I personally expect as America is forced to live within its means that low key weddings will become the norm again.
BTW I often tell people that I’ve made a lot of stupid decisions in my life but marrying my Wife wasn’t one of them.
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We are a videography/photography company here in Las Vegas. I would always work with anyone’s budget. I don’t think a bride and groom should start their life off together in total debt. I wan’t them to have the memories so I think videography and photography is important.
I disagree with Aya who says that he intends to have all his friends be the DJ, photogrdapher etc because they should be allowed to enjoy their special day rather than have to “work” so I think it is actually rude unless they offer.
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Great article. Wedding service fees are negotiable. (As most services are.) There is so much competition in the wedding services industry that most companies will offer a discount if you just ask. You can also save big by having your wedding in the “off season”.
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