My husband even insists his work pants are still okay, despite the rear pocket holes that allow his colleagues to play “what color are his boxers”.

The kicker is that for all 7 of us, the difference in price between a good day and a stinko day could be $25. For one meal.

Pain’s a killer.

I was to the point of actually having the cell phone out and about to hit the button to place the call when I realised that for the cost of a pizza and some wings, I could pick up some fairly quick to make food at the grocery store that would yield 3 times as many meals (and even more if I actually spent my money on stuff that takes a little more effort to make).

It’s easy to slip and spend money unneccesarily when you’re tired, or hungry, or not feeling well. At those times we frequently find the “irritation point” used to decide whether to spend money shifted. Deciding to pick up some buns and make burgers on the stove, rather than buying a pizza, is not a “big” decision in my life, but it’s the difference between spending $4 for a meal and $12. And it is the constant string of these small $4 vs. $12 decisions that ultimately make you a success or failure at achieving your financial goals.

However, I prefer to tackle the problem in the other direction. I want to set my financial goals first – amount for paying off debt, amount for retirement savings, amount for other savings, amount for bills. Then, with whatever is left over, I buy whatever my heart desires. It is “free” money because I already took care of my goals and obligations. If I want new gloves, then I get them. If I want a dinner out, I get it. I get to pick whatever I want most, regardless of its objective value. And if what I want the most at that moment is to put more money towards debt or savings, I can do that, too. I think it’s important to have some “free” money every month to spend (or not) on whatever floats your boat.

I know what you mean. My mom measured everything in gallons of milk. I measure mine by my power bill. By tying it back to something with meaning to you it can make the *value* more tangible.

My comment to Karen was because JD had a post a week or so ago about determining actual take home pay and translating cost into hours worked for a purchase. When you look at this example of gloves it drives home the point Karen was making about *cost* being relative.

I usually think in terms of future income. On the assumption that I can earn 12% on my money, each $100 invested gets me $1 a month. So a $3,000 purchase to me looks like $30 a month forever. That’ll put you off a lot of purchases. Do it with credit card payments and you’ll hardly buy anything on credit!

My previous car had a lot of eccentricities, most of them for the entire time I’ve owned it. The rear defrost indicator light didn’t work, the fan settings were all offset by one increment, the trunk leaked, the stereo has recently just stopped working periodically, and something occasionally makes a squealing noise when it’s wet. All of that I can live with.

Now, however, it’s started dying on the road. It’ll stall, then won’t start for a few minutes, and after that it’ll start right up again. Earlier this week it died and wouldn’t start at all, so I had it towed to the mechanic, but after a little while looking at it it did start for them, and after that they couldn’t reproduce the problem and therefor couldn’t identify the cause.

This is beyond my irritation threshold. I can put up with just about anything as long as my car gets me where I need to go. However, when it stops doing that and the mechanic isn’t able to guarantee they can fix it, even with $500 of repairs, it’s crossed the threshold.

So I went to a used car lot that had a 2007 Yaris I’d seen on Autotrader, took it for a test drive, and I’ll finalize the purchase when I get back from vacation next week.

One thing I’m not sure about is whether paying for quality counts as lifestyle inflation. My first car was 13 years old when I bought it, the last one was 10 and this one is 2. Each time I’ve basically bought the best car I could afford without going into debt, although this time I could’ve bought new if I wanted to. Is that lifestyle inflation or just prudence? I hope that this car will last me 15 years, which will put the cost per year right around $1000, more or less the same as my other cars (excluding maintenance).

Whether or not your irritation threshold has changed is a separate issue.

When you make more than is required to meet your basic needs, then *every* decision is about frugality and savings v. convenience and spending. You have to continue to choose every day to be committed to your path. You have to find your Irritation Threshold and consciously choose to meet it when you’re tempted (by your own convenience or by your friends or family) to give in “just this once.”

I can only speak authoritatively for myself, but I found choosing to live within my means when poor much easier than I find choosing to live below my means today.

Sorry to get off-topic, but I have discovered that if I use toothpaste with sodium lauryl/laureth sulphate in it, I get a canker sore within hours. I now only buy the brands from the health food stores that don’t contain it. Of course, they are a lot more expensive, but you only actually need a pea-sized amount of toothpaste anyway.

But for most of us, there is. If you make $40 an hour, would it make more sense to take the day off and fix your car, costing you $320, or pay a mechanic $200 to do the work for you? As you make more money, your ‘hourly wage’, even not at work, increases. RD,PD recommends we ‘live within our means, and constantly increase our means’ – another way of looking at Lifestyle Inflation.

The point, to me, is to make it a conscious process, so you are choosing what to spend on, and where that Irritation Threshold is. It has been shown that tolerance is a muscle too, and dealing with frustration will a)make you more able to deal with it in the future, and b)fatigued and less able to deal with more right away…

And as has come up here several times in the comments, the emotional payback is as important as the financial one. On a sliding scale. Depending on your emotional state. And your finances.

Thanks for the thought-provoking article!

Irritation is definitely something we’d all like to eliminate, but I don’t think you necessarily need to beat yourself up too much over lifestyle drift.

What in the world are we saving money for, if not to provide comfort for ourselves and our families? The definition of comfort will vary widely, and can include educational opportunities, dry toes, McMansions, new gloves, healthcare, or a steaming hot cup of cocoa.

You worked hard to progress in your career to a point where you can afford extra comforts. Why not reward yourself? The small perk may help keep you motivated to be frugal on a larger scale.

When I was a poor student, I had lots of time and little money. Now that I’m making much more money (or rather, not digging further into debt), I want to enjoy the time I do have. While mostly that means free activities like reading, playing tennis, or just catching up with friends, I don’t feel guilty if I reward myself with a massage maybe twice a year (usually at a massage school) for meeting/exceeding my savings goals.

That goes a lot further than just eliminating irritation– but it makes me happy and relaxed. As Mastercard would say: “Priceless.”

My husband claims to be the ‘voice of reason’ to temper my ‘extreme frugality/conservationism’ (in his view). He often points out to me that my efforts to reuse things like plastic bags and styrofoam cups have little to no impact on the environment. And that my efforts to save money in comparison to our quite adequate salary are often out of proportion (i.e. I can make $100 in a hour, so why would I spend a half hour saving myself five bucks?). We have only been married a year so I have plenty of time to teach him that this is my philosophy, it makes me happy, it isn’t about the specific logic of costs.

I heard my husband’s voice in my head when I read your post. He would say “buying a new pair of gloves when the old pair gets worn is what money is FOR. Gloves that don’t keep your hands warm are no good anymore. Which is worse, spending $5, or getting frostbite on your fingers? Buying a new pair of gloves because you want a red pair instead of a blue pair is wasteful. Spend your time looking for ways to cut down truly wasteful spending, rather than trying to avoid spending that is necessary.” Sometimes my husband is right about things too.

Your squeaky car is a different matter and a much better example of your concept.

My husband and I used to be very frugal when we first got married–he was in the military and I was a full time student. Our income was low but we scrimped and lived within our means. Once our income crept up, our lifestyle changed and our frugality went by the wayside for a while. Just this past year we went back to our old ways because and we are much happier for it. Our washer broke about a month ago and we have been going over to my mother’s house and washing our laundry there. Yes it is an irritation, but we want to save up the funds to by a washer. A year or two ago, we would have just ran out and bought a new one anyway and put it on credit if we didn’t have the money.

I loved this post! This is something I have recently discovered and been pondering over in my own life. It’s definitely a psychological issue. I find that reading this blog, the I Will Teach You to Be Rich 30-day challenge, and various other frugality sites helps to keep me focused on my goals even as my discretionary income edges up and my irritation threshold drifts down.