How to Make Your New Year’s Resolutions Stick
Published on - January 2nd, 2009 (Modified on - October 5th, 2009) (by J.D. Roth)
Yesterday a GRS reader named “P” pointed me to a New York Times article from Alex Williams, who writes that change isn’t easy. Williams notes that about 80% of those who make resolutions on New Year’s Day fall off the wagon by the middle of February.
The article isn’t as depressing as that opening might lead you to believe. It offers glimpses of why people fail to keep resolutions — and offers tips for how they can succeed.
How to make your resolutions stick
One of Williams’ interview subjects realizes that she’ll always want to engage in bad habits, but that in order to change, she needs to want the good habits more.
I agree.
I will always want to buy comic books, for example, but the key is to realize that other things are more important. I want the freedom to spend my time as I please. I don’t want to work at a job I hate just because I need to earn money for the latest comics. (Or videogames. Or books. Or clothes.) My time and my freedom are more important than having the latest issue of X-Men. By looking at things this way, I’m able to see that I control my money — money doesn’t control me.
Williams interviewed several experts for the article. One suggested four strategies “more likely to bring positive results” when trying to change:
- Think big. “Start with big changes, not small ones” in order to generate more immediate results.
- Fake it ’til you make it. Think and act like the person you want to be. This is a powerful technique. I’ve used it myself to deal with a lot of my fears.
- Reframe the situation. Think of it in a different way. For example, don’t say that you’re giving up shopping — say that you’re getting a divorce from debt. Then you “can look back at [your] old life as a romantic adventure, rather than a sinkhole of regret”.
- Get help. Don’t go it alone. If you want to make change, then find others who can support you, such as your family or friends — or the other readers at Get Rich Slowly.
The ultimate conclusion of the article, though, is to just do it. Another expert put it this way: “The only thing that convinces the brain that it is okay to change is to see it change.”
My goals for 2009
That being said, I’m still not making resolutions this year. I’m setting goals. This is my strategy for coping with the problem of change. When I set a goal, I don’t feel like I’m trying to convince myself to become somebody new. I’m just trying to achieve something that the current J.D. wants.
And I’m not going overboard, either. In his new book, The Power of Less, Leo Babauta writes: “Taking on many goals at once spreads out your available energy and motivation, so that you often run out of steam.” This is the reason that I’m limiting myself to three primary goals again in 2009:
- To save $5,000 for a new car. “About time,” many of you are saying. For nearly two years you’ve listened to me whine about my Ford Focus while pining for a Mini Cooper. Now that my consumer debt is gone and I’ve saved $10,000 for emergencies, I’ll take some time to save for the car. (I’d set this goal higher, but I want to be sure my other financial priorities are met too.)
- To ride in Cycle Oregon. This goal actually encompasses many sub-goals such as: lose 20 pounds, research and purchase an indoor bike trainer, get a professional bike fitting, etc. (Oh — and ride the damn bike!)
- To make better use of my time.
I know that third goal sounds nebulous. It’s not. I have a concrete plan inspired by The Power of Less and by a recent conversation with a friend. I’m dividing my time into Focus Days, Free Days, and Buffer Days. On each day, I’m pursuing Most Important Tasks. I’m making a few other little tweaks, too. Basically, I’m trying to design a time-management system that works the way I do.
I also plan to pursue several secondary objectives. I intend to:
- Teach myself about investing and about small-business accounting.
- Fully fund my retirement accounts.
- Finish my book proposal and sell my book.
- Optimize our insurance coverage.
- Repair the exterior of our home (siding, paint, gutters).
Believe it or not, some of those secondary goals seem more daunting than my primary goals! But the primary goals are the ones I feel most passionate about. They’re the ones that will keep me motivated.
Now it’s your turn. What are your goals (or resolutions) for 2009? What strategies will you use to make your resolutions stick?
Photo by Woodley Wonderworks.
This article is about Planning, Psychology, Real-Life, Self-Improvement
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This year, I’m about to refinance my house to a 5% 15Year mortgage. Sweet! Goals…
Pay off my car and thus have only mortgage and small 3.35% student loan debt. (And we love positive cash flow!)
Save up for and purchase a mattress with cash for a great nights sleep. (Practice makes perfect for sticking to this strategy for ALL major purchases.)
Lose at least 5 lbs each 4 months and hit “Normal” BMI (even if muscles make me better than normal body fat!)
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My goals are:
1. Co-write an article for publication with my husband in an ornithology journal. I entered data for two years and I’d like to get some closure.
2. Get passports for me and my children.
3. Keep building the emergency fund and throw whatever extra we can at our lot loan (an acre we bought next door for our privacy).
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Recommendations 2, 3, and 4 are great. Number 2 forces you to recognize that you’re working on a new skill or objective–and gets you over the hurdle of feeling odd, like a monkey, when focusing on a new objective. Number 3, reframing, has been shown to be immensely useful for looking at an objective differently, and identifying alternative resolutions. Number 4 is an admission of a significant reality–learning and changing are contact sports, usually not successful in isolation.
Sorry, but #1 won’t stand up to research scrutiny. I’m well aware that that is the conventional wisdom, but big goals create a number of major roadblocks. They take a lot of time to achieve when you’d like to see immediate results. They require a large skill set of their own to achieve them. And finally, they require you to confront large constraints to achieve them.
In contrast, research shows that Karl Weick’s theory of “small wins” is the best way to go to achieve large goals and gain advantage. It’s the steady application of the small advantage where it can have the greatest impact that improves the odds of your success. Weick builds his process upon an understanding of what’s difficult about the change and then introduces small changes to improve the rate of success.
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Thanks, Dan, for pointing that out. In my original draft of this post, I pointed out that I disagree with point #1, too. I’m very much a small steps kind of guy. I like “small wins”, which is why I break even my large goals down into smaller steps.
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JD – I have a good quality bike trainer you can have for $100, if you have some way to get it out of the Bay Area & up to your place (pay for shipping, get it a ride, etc. it’s bulky and heavy!). If you’re interested, let me know and I can email you more info. That’s definitely at least a 50% discount – I bought it from a coworker and am not using it enough.
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I love the ‘get a divorce from..’ concept. What a powerful way of framing a change!
I have some goals already, mainly a 3-week trip to the UK in April/May. I’m already on track to pay for it as I go, AND pay off the last of my student debt this year, so those goals are solid.
I’ve also decided to set aside 1% of my monthly income for charity – either to give as I go, or as a big year-end donation.
In addition:
I am getting a divorce from uncontrolled snacking. My goal is to lose a half pound per week until my trip, which is a total of 8 pounds.
I will walk to work (3 miles) no less than once per week.
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-My financial goals: 80-100% on the stock market (beat my 55% for this year)
-Obtain 2 more rental properties
-Pass my Medical Board Exams (#1 priority)
-Increase my network base
My main strategy to go about my goals is to usually pick a goal date and then work backwards and calculate the steps necessary to get to that ultimate goal. Its worked in the past. Also I usually stick my goals in sight in on a bathroom mirror where I can see them regularly.
Good luck to all with their goals!
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I usually go with a theme for the New Year. 2009 is the year of finances. I even started a blog to keep me on track.
1) Stay on track with my budget and debt payoff plan.
2) Not spend any money on credit cards.
3) Use my value fund to pay for: a trip to Hawaii, a trip out of the country (Costa Rica, SE Asia, or Ecuador), lots of ski days, and possibly climbing Mt. Rainier.
4) Continue making extra cash on eBay.
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Unfortunately, charitable giving is out the window for us this year…my resolution is to find a job before we lose the house.
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in 2008 I had no goals or resolutions, and managed to almost completely quit smoking (2-3 cigarettes all year) and get back into swing dancing and swimming for the first time in years for either.
Goals for 2009
Health:
Do not smoke even 1 cigarette the entire year
Follow medical protocol (sort of already started, need to get back on track)
Stick to dietary restrictions (started Dec 1 2008)
Exercise:
Swim 2 days a week Jan thru Feb
Swim 3 days a week Feb thru April
Swim 4 days a week May thru August
Bike ride 1 mile per day starting in March, and add 1 mile per month
Goal note: Bike ride to work/school is 2.5 miles
Money:
Put a minimum of $100 into savings every month
Have a $1000 savings fund by May 1 (currently have $160, will have another $500 Feb 2, plus $50 per paycheck).
Pay off consumer debt by November 1 (I THINK I will make it but this is actually one I will have to think about–I’m down $500 since November already though!)
Personal enrichment:
Participate in NaNoWriMo
Graduate from College
Stick with Swing dancing at least twice a month
Plant herbs and tomatoes and keep them growing all summer and fall
Read 1 book about goal-setting by February 1
So, some things are spread out, some things are just a “finish what I started” deal, and some are going to take some active work rather than passive work. I also just automated my debt payments, so that’s even more passive, and I just have to track my “change” from my checking account and deposit that at the end of every month.
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Great tips. My only resolution this year is to be a better Me Inside and Out. Which means: 1) Use my graphic design abilities to donate some work to local humane societies 2) Wear nicer clothes, do my hair, makeup, nails. I need to take care of myself better 3) Eat healthier 4) Scrimp less and enjoy life 5) Spoil friends and little sister 6)Keep apartment and office clean and organized 7) save up $10,000 for EF. I guess you can say almost anything you do fits into this resolution. In that way I really can’t fail
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Goals, not resolutions:
* Go for one week without drinking. Then go another. Lather, rinse, repeat (do NOT tell me to go to AA, not happening). I spent $1-200/mo on wine last year.
* Quit smoking by March 1
* Build personal website, decide on focus and marketability by Feb 1. I set this up at Dreamhost today: $10.74 for two years’ hosting including domain reg! But that deal ended today.
* Start using those kettlebells, easing into it this weekend
* Continue to put at least half my net pay per month into savings/brokerage account (I can do this because I am now debt-free, woot!), more as conditions permit
* Contingency plan by Feb 1 to determine course of action if my job is recessionized
* Fund Roth IRA for 2008 by April 1
* Make decision on whether to pursue CFP (cert. financial planner) program by March 1 (my current career is in a dying industry, need to take another fork in the road).
* Purge storage locker (included w/apt lease) again by July 1 in prep for Aug 31 move-out (if determined by contingency plan above; otherwise will stay put and negotiate lower rent).
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My goal was made CRYSTAL clear for me on January 1: make emergency savings a priority. I’ve been lackadaisically putting money away when I could, and gotten to about 2 months’ worth. On New Year’s Day, heading back from a (frugal! up until that very moment!) trip to Mount Hood, our car died. The tow truck took it to the nearest mechanic, which was closed due to the holiday. We checked into the Best Western across the street. Bright and early at 7:00 this morning, we headed over to the garage to talk to the mechanic … and discovered that a landslide had destroyed the garage and buried the keys we had put in the mechanic’s dropbox forever. Now, instead of a $100 trip, we have spent extra $ at a motel, $ to rent a car to get home, and because emergency services won’t let the tow service get near the site, we still don’t know how much it is going to be to fix the car. We do know that if the tow truck had left our car two spaces to the left, our car would have been buried along with several others.
So, 2009 is going to be the year to top off our emergency fund. Once and for all!
Gotta love Oregon. After that emergency fund is filled we are going to try to find an inexpensive car that can handle the weather here.
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2009 Goals:
Revisit our business plan and make the appropriate (if any) changes. 1/15/09
Add the credit card payment function on our website for future clients. 1/31/2009
Use tax refund to pay off wife’s $5000 credit card. 2/28/09
Fully fund the $10k EF (currently $5500). 6/30/2009
Pay off my $5000 credit line. 12/30/2009.
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@ JD #24
I am a bike nut and, as #17 says, hit up your local REI for a trainer because they provide me with one avenue of employment. If you are not racing, or not racing out of Cat 5 or 4, a magnetic trainer will do you just fine. If you have not already had you professional bicycle fitting appointment, I would recommend checking with your local bike guru to see if there are any used trainers floating about that s/he would encourage you to purchase.
Also, if any GRS people are ever in Boston, here is a link to the latest Boston BoldSprints event, though the next event will be held January 10, 2009:
http://www.blog.thesietch.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/boldsprints_flyer_logos_web.jpg
This event is where we make the most of old, junky trainers for fun competition at small bars in the Boston metro area.
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Think big. “Start with big changes, not small ones” in order to generate more immediate results. …….. That does not work with me as the big changes are ones that make me get out of my comfort zone very quick, so I end up quitting early. If I use affirmations to change many small things I can get closer to the big things by sneaking up on them.
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Primary goal: pay off credit card. It means some really horrendous pinching, when I’ve already been living frugally, but it’s what I really want.
#2: Eat better, take my vitamins most days (they tend to nauseate me).
#3: Back to the gym! Back to weights, now, not just the bike.
#3: Start unpacking.
#4: Get my papers together to revise last year’s return.
There are plenty of other things I need to do to improve my life, but if I can do these things, I can start to do more. I’m hoping for a healthy year with less pain (Peggy@25, I know how pain can screw up all the rest of the goals.)
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Hey, La BellaDonna,
your vitamins might nauseate you because you are taking them on an empty stomach. Have you tried taking them after a meal?
As for my own goals this year:
- save $20,000
- do yoga stretches daily, if only for 20 minutes
And I’m sure others will occur to me as the year gets under way….
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My goals are to –
* Establish a solid emergency fund ($5K) by April 30th. Inspired by the “Reframe the Situation” tip I changed the name of the account from “savings” to “emergency fund” to remind me every time I look at it why it’s so important. Small step, but I’m hoping it will be a game-changer for me.
* Investigate avenues for earning additional income and pursue 1-2 options by March.
* Dance salsa times a week (aka don’t be a couch potato)
* Learn the name of one new person a week (networking sounds scary, so this is how I will re frame it)
* Maintain at least a B average in my MBA program
I think that’s a good start. Thanks for providing me the motivation to get this down in writing!
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I like to use Indicators or Performance for setting and tracking my goals. They are short, specific and easy to track.
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Goals must be:
S – Specific
M – Measureable
A – Attainable
R – Realistic
T – Time-based
As with JD’s example:
Save $5000 by 12/31/2009.
It can be extended by saying “Transfer $420/month to High Yield Savings account”
I learned this from a Life Coach in Seattle.
Anway, my goals for this year are:
Major:
1. Pay down debt by $800/month. (Main focus this year)
2. Re-balance IRA investments.
3. Two trips to see family (Domestic US)
Minor:
1. Join a CSA Farm. (On waiting list now)
2. Start Square-Foot Gardening
3. Buy Nikon D90 (70% funded)
Challenge Goals:
(This is a new category this year. This is for projects that require additional resources than currently available to us).
1. Refinance rental property. (Low equity)
2. Create a second stream of income making at least $200/month.
3. Start a new blog. http://www.greencropcircles.com
(Note: SMART details are left out for a quick post)
-Charlotte
http://www.javafoto.com/wp
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I’ve been reading a lot about Carol Dweck and her ideas on the growth mindset. If you approach things as opportunities to grow rather than trying to pass a test, you’re more successful. See articles at NYT and SciAm.
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I just finished last year’s Resolution successfully– I drank no alcohol at all in 2008. None, nada, zilch.
It teaches you what it means to you. That’s one good reason to make them and stick to them.
One belief I have did help. It’s like the 80/20 rule– I believe 80% of the accomplishment of anything comes in the last 20% of the work. It’s purely ’cause most people don’t make it that far, so that’s where you out-do them.
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I read that article and thought it was a much more nuanced look at resolutions than most. I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between resolutions and goals. I like what you said about the pressure being off with a goal. For me, I like the pressure that setting a resolution brings. It goes along with the fake it ’til you make it tip. If I say I’m doing something, I’m doing it–even if it’s only been a couple of days. Anyway, I wrote more a slightly more eloquent defense of New Year’s Resolutions at my blog, where I’m tracking my many resolutions for the year. It can be read here: http://resolveed.wordpress.com/2009/01/05/in-defense-of-the-new-years-resolution/
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Goals for this year are:
Keep my GPA in school up
Continue working
Save as much money as possible
Use savings to start paying down debts
Try and attain a good internship for the summer
All pretty reasonable and make sense, so I don’t think it should be too hard to keep up with all that.
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My goals for the New Year are to: have more free time (so that I can spend more quality time with friends and family), get back to consistent martial arts training, and an iron cross on the [gymnastics] rings.
I wrote up my own post about tips I’ll be using to help reach my New Years goals: http://www.theinternalarts.com/articles/johnny-kuo/2008/12/29/6-tips-new-years-resolution-success
I like the “fake it til you make it” tip. I hadn’t thought of that when I was coming up with my strategies. I’ll be adding that to my personal bag o’ tricks.
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Hey J.D.,
I enjoy your site and when I ran across this I thought I’d pass it along. Its a great deal on a mini cooper and it might help you reach your yearly goal a little sooner…
Take care.
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10050532&adid=1500000000000007082200
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