Defeating Temptation: 10 Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Tempted to Buy
Published on - March 16th, 2009 (by J.D. Roth)
You’re in the mall or at the Electronics Emporium. There’s nothing you need to buy, but you’re killing time while your spouse finishes an errand. As you wait, you browse. You admire the Thneeds. Look! There’s a new one! It’s bright and shiny and you think it will make you happy, so you pick it up, walk to the register, and purchase it. You’re the proud owner of the latest Thneed. But when you get home, pride isn’t what you feel. You feel guilty.
This used to happen to me all of the time. I used to be a compulsive spender. It was difficult for me to enter a bookstore or a mall or even a supermarket without buying something. (Or, more often, some things.) Though I still make an occasional impulse purchase, my urge to buy stuff has largely diminished. I’ve learned to check my spending by asking myself a series of questions:
- When will I use this? When you buy compulsively, when you spend on impulse, you tend to acquire a lot of stuff you never use. Look around your home. Do you have unopened CDs or DVDs? Unread books? Do you have clothes that still sport their price tags? Do you have a collection of “money-saving” gadgets gathering dust in the closet? Before you buy that voice recorder, ask yourself when you’ll actually use it — and be honest with yourself.
- Do I have another one like this already? If so, what’s wrong with the old one? I use this question in a variety of situations, especially when I’m tempted to buy clothes. My wife gets frustrated with my tendency to buy new t-shirts, for example. “You already have five blue t-shirts,” she told me recently. “Why do you need another?” This is also a great question to ask when faced with the urge to upgrade. Do you really need to replace your iPod?
- If I buy this, where will I put it? It’s surprising how often this question prevents me from buying something new. For the past two years, I’ve been fighting a battle with Stuff, that ever-present household clutter. If I force myself to think about where I’ll store whatever it is that tempts me, that’s usually enough to make me decide not to buy it.
- If I buy this, can I pay cash? When I was in debt, I bought almost everything on credit. I figured I could pay for it later. All of my cash went to pay my credit card bills. I was dumb. I’ve since realized that if something isn’t worth saving for, if it’s not worth buying with cash, then it’s almost certainly not worth buying on credit.
- Can I buy a good-quality used version for less? I used to be a “new snob”. I believed that things were only worth buying if I could have them in new, pristine condition. Now I know that great deals can be had on gently used items. This is true of automobiles, of course, but it’s also true of games, electronics, clothing, and more. You can find great deals on eBay and on Craiglist. And don’t forget the neighborhood thrift store.
- Do I know anyone who already owns one I can borrow? I overheard a story the other day. Evan was preparing for spring yardwork and making an inventory of his tools. He decided he wanted a chainsaw. He called his friend Lee to ask for advice on which one to buy. “Why do you want to buy a chainsaw?” Lee asked. “Do you have a lot of trees to clear?” Evan admitted that he did not. “Then why don’t you just borrow mine?” Lee asked. When done respectfully, borrowing is a great alternative to buying new.
- Can I wait to buy this? One of the best things I’ve done to reduce my spending is to teach myself to wait. I use the 30-day rule: When I find myself in the Electronics Emporium holding the latest game for the Nintendo Wii, I put it back and tell myself that I can buy it in 30 days if I still want it. Sometimes I do, but most of the time I don’t. I’ve saved a lot of money with this trick. (I’ve also learned to add things to my Amazon wishlist instead of buying them. Then, later, I go through and trim the wishlist.)
- Why do I want to buy this? And why do I want to buy it today? It’s true that many times I’m inclined to buy something because it would fill a need in my life. But just as often I find myself wanting to buy things because I’ve recently seen an ad. Or, worse, a friend has shown me some cool new gadget. In these cases, I’m not filling an ongoing need; I’m simply trying to fill a sense of lack created by comparing myself with others. If I can figure out why I have the urge to buy something, I can sometimes make the urge go away.
- Are there better options available? This is a great question to trick myself into taking more time. If I find myself in a store tempted by a digital camera, for example, I can usually talk myself out of it by realizing that I have no idea whether this digital camera is the best model. Instead, I go home and I research digital cameras (or whatever) via Consumer Reports and online review sites. I try to find the best option. Most of the time, I lose interest and I save myself some money.
- What would my wife say if I bought this? Kris isn’t opposed to everything I buy, but she’s often able to detect compulsive spending when I cannot. Sometimes if I’m tempted buy a new toy, I try to put myself in her shoes, to view the purchase through her eyes. If, from her perspective, the purchase seems reasonable, then I consider it. But it looks foolish, I usually change my mind.
I don’t ask myself all of these questions every time. Each is useful in certain situations. And these questions don’t stop all of my purchases. But I’ve found that if I give myself honest answers, they can prevent a lot of spending.
What tricks and techniques do you use to fend off temptation? What sort of self-talk do you use to prevent impulse purchases? Or do you still struggle with compulsive shopping? What have you tried that does not work?
For more on this subject, read about the six steps to curb compulsive spending.
This article is about Choices, Psychology, Shopping
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I like to think about non-necessities (Like DVDs, Books, etc) in terms of “how many hours did I have to work to pay for this?” That usually makes me think twice about buying things, and is probably the main reason why I do not own a Wii.
I too use the amazon wish list to keep myself in check. If I can wait a month, have enough cash in the budget to pay for it, then I can buy it and not feel guilty later.
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My trick might be a bit weird, but I try and picture myself facing future me in an hour, a day, a year. Is my future self ashamed of me? Does she think I made a reasonable choice? In a way, it also covers another of your questions: did my future self every use the item?
I managed to reduce on impulse buys a lot, but I’m still a sucker for telemarketers. It is SO hard to say “no”. They try to make you feel so guilty. I once had to debate for half an hour with a telemarketer who wanted to sell me a “terrific offer” of about 10 pounds of pasta and pasta sauce for about 100 USD. I honestly didn’t have the money, my husband and myself live on €500 a month, but he was obviously calling me a liar (not in these words) when I said I couldn’t afford it.
Then, he passed me over to the person in charge of asking for credit card information. Even though I had refused. And I had to explain myself one more time, how could I not be able to afford this wonderful one-time deal that was so cheap! Pasta for at least a month! A month worth of food for only USD100 surely was worth it, right?
It ended with a “yeah, right” and hanging up on me. I had never felt so miserable, but I am so glad I managed to stand up to myself.
The only other time I could do that was with a bad wedding planner that wanted to charge us €10,000. We planned everything ourselves instead, exactly the way we wanted, without all the extra stuff they wanted to convince us to do, and it only cost €500 overall.
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For me, when something is on super-sale, and it’s something I would like, I try to think about if I could give it as a gift.
For instance: Hubby and I were at Cracker Barrel earlier this year using a gift certificate we received from Christmas. I love to “look” at the Clearance Corner. They had beatiful leaf decorative plates. I wanted one so badly…then I thought “Who would also like this?” Then, TADA, I thought about what a great gift it would be for one mom for Mother’s Day (she loves leaves), the other for her Birthday (in the Fall). We bought 2 of them for a total of $8.08. The original price of each plate was $19.99. I not only got my fix of buying something at a really good price, but it wont be cluttering our home.
We have a designated cabinet in the laundry room that holds gift items like this one so that I wont lose them. Also, I have a spreadsheet to remind me of what I have purchased for people and what Holiday I plan on giving them the gift.
This way, I shop the entire year and get great deals!
~M
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Every time I want to make a purchase I think about how hard I had to work to earn the price of that item. I hate my job, so the idea of giving up money I worked for makes the item a lot less attractive.
The biggest impulse I struggle with is the impulse to buy a new car. Not just any new car, but a new BMW. I can afford a new BMW without going into debt, but it seems so stupid to buy a car when my current car (2002 Nissan Sentra) is working fine (and probably will continue to work fine for years to come).
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A tech writer I read said that they have a notepad file on their desktop called “stuffidontneed.txt”. Whenever they wanted to buy something, they would do all the research, get the best prices, and then add it to the list. If they really needed the item, they had all the information available when it was time to buy. If they didn’t, well, they’d soon forget about it, and the act of doing all the research and pricing somehow satiated a need to shop.
I find that not allowing myself to go into stores is worse then letting myself shop. I infuriate salespeople by walking around, picking things up, and then saying that there’s nothing that I like. “But we have so many nice things.” “Yes, you do, but not for me. thank you.”
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We try these tricks regularly and they ussually work, allowing us to spend money on entertainment (where we enjoy ourselves and don’t have to deal with STUFF later). I was horrified when over he weekend I finally let me husband try and talk me into running and to get a decent pair of running shoes was over $70. They are not cute, and while I can tell they support my feet they are not comfortable. -I just hope the concept of retiring the shoes after 6 months is false because that is a really bad return on something that will only be worn for a very short duration every other day.
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In the UK there is a television chat show, Richard and Judy, which reviews books. Any book they mention can be almost guaranteed to become a best seller – based on the opinion of on or two people, broadcast to their listeners.
These books are always given good placement in bookstores.
Why do people buy these books?
Because they want to be in with the crowd, to be able to say ‘Have you read the latest Richard and Judy recommendation?’ and they’re happy to take someone else’s recommendation rather than find their own style.
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This is a really good list. I applied it retroactively to an electric sander I bought last week:
1) When will I use this? This afternoon, and other afternoons until the boat is all repainted.
2) Do I have another one like this already? Nope, only a little hand-sanding block.
3) If I buy this, where will I put it? In the cabin of the boat till the boat’s done. Then I can probably find room for it in the closet. It’s a good question though.
4) If I buy this, can I pay cash? Yes. I always pay cash for everything.
5) Can I buy a good-quality used version for less? You know, probably, but I didn’t consider this at the time. Power tools are pretty durable, and there’s no reason a used one shouldn’t last a long time. I wouldn’t even know where to look for a used orbital sander. The inconvenience of this might have outweighed the cost savings.
6) Do I know anyone who already owns one I can borrow? Probably, but I’m going to need this for at least half a dozen afternoons, and I’d feel bad keeping someone else’s sander for a month or two while I need it, or repeatedly borrowing it every weekend.
7) Can I wait to buy this? Well, I *could* have, but it would have forced me to put off the work I wanted it for.
Why do I want to buy this? Because sanding by hand is taking forever and makes my arm sore.
9) Are there better options available? There might have been. I didn’t do any research. I kind of get the impression that most orbital sanders in the range of $60-75 are pretty comparable, though.
10) What would my wife say if I bought this? MY wife’s pretty accommodating. She wouldn’t mind.
It’s a good exercise to do. Based on my responses, it looks like I made a pretty reasonable purchase. That said, I wasn’t just wandering around the hardware store trying to think of something to buy. I generally don’t go to stores unless I already know what I’m getting there. I went to the hardware store *specifically* for a sander, because it was taking forever to get any work done by hand.
I only really shop just for the hell of it online, and then usually only for cars and houses, which I couldn’t impulse buy even if I wanted to. Occasionally I do buy clothes online without a lot of forethought, but usually I don’t start looking for clothes online until I’ve started thinking something like, “man, I really need more t-shirts, I seem to have to wash them way too often.” At that point it doesn’t matter too much whether I choose one t-shirt over another.
Edit: apparently the number eight followed by a closing parenthesis is not a thing your blog software allows, J.D. It prefers sunglass-wearing smiley faces.
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You only need ONE rhetorical question:
What will happen if don’t buy this?
When you answer yourself channel your inner child and ask yourself
So?
a few times.
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@Katie, much sympathy – it really sucks when you find an opening in an area that really excites you, and then for no “good” reason it doesn’t work out.
@Luke, sympathy to you too – I’ll bet you suffer more than your wife!! Sheesh!!
I wouldn’t call myself a compulsive spender, but for years I was certainly a free spender. A lot of the comments relate to things I do myself – “shopping” at home, reorganizing the house instead of buying something new, avoiding the mall, using Amazon wishlist.
The way I really stopped mindless shopping, though, was by going without a car (in Los Angeles) for four years. I walked to work, and though it was through an area with plenty of shopportunities, my walk was a mile and there’s a limit to how much a person wants to carry for a mile. I would rent a car every three or four months when I accumulated a list of errands – otherwise, I’d borrow my husband’s car for groceries, etc., after work – when I was too tired to make more than the one stop.
I also use a “wishlist” system with catalogs. I cancelled a lot of them using Catalog Choice, but still get a few. I go through them immediately, dogear any pages with things I think I might want, then put them in a drawer. Once a month I go through them and usually toss at least half. If I still want something by the second month, I put it in my budget for the next month. Then, if I *still* want it in month 3, I go ahead and get it.
I have really strict rules for clothes. I have to be able to wear them either for my day job (law office) or for dancing. I don’t even own a pair of jeans.
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We’re seriously considering moving, so my favorite question is, “Would I want to move it?” The answer is usually “No”.
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@Elizabeth – recent studies indicate that “high-tech” athletic shoes with lots of fancy features are associated with a HIGHER rate of injury than a cheap pair of Keds or Converse. That’s because all the “support” that the fancy shoes give you actually prevents your foot from operating the way it’s meant to. Some personal trainers who work with runners are encouraging barefoot training, or with very lightweight shoes (like Keds) that allow you to run more naturally. Your foot should be able to change shape while you run and your shoe should accommodate that (also, advice from 10-20 years ago about striking out with your heel has been discredited. Running on the ball of the foot is more natural and less likely to be associated with injury.). Certified Personal Trainer, NASM.
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The one question I like to ask myself before I make a purchase is,
“Will I regret NOT purchasing this?”
More often than not, I will regret purchasing something, but very rarely will I regret NOT buying something.
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I really like the “pay cash” item on this list. Its what I use when I’m making purchase decisions. If I am unwilling to use my debit card to buy the item, then I don’t really want it and I don’t get it.
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When I see something I want I remind myself that I don’t need to own everything I like. I think that’s the problem in our culture; we are taught to want, and taught to own things. When we have money we are supposed to spend it. When I remind myself that I don’t have to own every object I admire, I feel a sense of freedom- not only mentally, but physically- in my uncluttered home.
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I’m with Debbie @41. I’m always very tempted by stuff on sale, but then I look and think, what don’t I like about this? and usually there’s something that isn’t perfect about the item, not an imperfection, but something that I’m not really fond of, like a zipper instead of buttons or not quite the right shade of a color.
but I also try to be sure that if I am going to be in a shopping situation, that I have something in mind that I really do need, so that I do actually make a purchase, not something expensive, but something so that urge to shop isn’t completely denied. It’s especially good if you can do what someone else mentioned, and buy a gift for someone else that you’d be buying sometime anyway.
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I’ve seen many lists to help you ‘stop’ unnecessary purchases, but yours is GREAT! I will print it out and carry it in my wallet as a reminder…
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I recently heard an ESPN radio commentator remark that before he is about to make a purchase he asks himself three questions: do I need it?; do I love it?; am I getting a good deal? If he answers yes to 2 of the 3 questions, he permits himself to buy it.
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DON”T look at the sale adds, the best way to “save” is by not spending. I stand over my garbage can when I sort the mail tossing them in.
Since I have had kids, (I have six of them) I find little joy going in to stores, it is just to much work. I also find that my kids really don’t miss any “stuff” when they don’t see it.
It does make it much harder when kids enter the equation, especially when they go to school, even the school is constantly filling them with fund raising propaganda that clutters your house with junk that is not needed and grossly over priced.
I have learned to just say no, that is probably the hardest one to learn, to myself and my kids, I know that in the long run most of the stuff will be in the landfill within 5 years.
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I think the main issue that we have with spending (besides people who are flat out broke) is the *recreational spending* that goes beyond just our needs. We spend because we have that time to browse, be influenced by ads, media, society for what “we must have” to be cool, attractive, etc. My advice to others, and myself, would be to add cheap recreational activies, like join a hiking club, or take up reading, or writing. Take on hobbies that are useful like fixing cars, homes, etc. I think you’ll find that there’s a lot less time to wonder if you really want that pair of shoes when you’re concentrating on a book, where to hike next, or how the heck did I get plaster right there.
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This will date me, but when I met my husband, every time we went shopping on a date, if we saw something he or I had to have, he’d say “This will cost xx many cassette tapes”. I can do w/out it so I can buy the tapes.
The other thought of moving items was really an important one..still is. We moved (really) 10 times in 11 years. After the 2nd or 3rd move, wrapping and unwrapping (repeat, repeat, repeat…) I realized it was easier not buying things in the first place.
And I, too, loathe shopping. Prefer to have a really fat savings account to massive piles of stuff.
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What a great list, first from J.D. then the additions from everyone else. I am currently unemployed and if I can’t eat it, I don’t buy it, well not really but close.
I basically have two rules. First I do is ask myself what I am willing to do without in order to purchase [item] and since it’s a real question, I rarely buy anything. The second is do I have to have it before I can find it at a discount. It’s rare that I can’t wait and sometimes I just never get around to buying it. Procrastination can be a good trait sometimes!
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Your 30-day rule is especially great.. not only because usually the hype will wear off after 30 days, but also because the price will *usually* go down in the same amount of time! A brand new game out that you really want? Wait 30 days and the hype will likely be gone (the demand will be down) and the price will decrease. Timing is everything! This is why my husband and I try to celebrate holidays “late.” Those roses significantly decrease in price the day AFTER Valentine’s Day, after all
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I have mastered the art of not spending money on junk, but what it is harder is not spending money on experiences. Seems like it could be easy to regret it when you’re older that you spent your whole life in your subdivision doing nothing but going to work.
Maybe you want to visit Havana, but before Castro bites the dust, the embargo gets lifted, and the whole thing gets overrun with Americans. Will it still be there if you wait until next year? Or the year after?
Maybe you want to scale Mt. Everest but would you still be able to do it in twenty years?
Maybe you want to spend a couple of years cycling through Africa, better to take time off now or wait until you’re 50 and no longer nimble and in top shape?
Or, Buddha forbid, you want to have children, can you put that off forever?
Etc…
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I need to read posts like this over and over every day. I’ve recently paid off about $35,000 in consumer debt (not that I have anything exciting to show for it) and I still struggle with spending. I read stuff about how you’ve gone the other way JD, being too frugal and I just don’t understand how. I’m a compulsive person and I want everything right now. If I see an episode of a new show I love then I want to buy all the DVDs, if I find a new author I want to read all their books (and being in australia means that these things aren’t necessarily available to borrow here).
I think the 30 day rule is a great one, I’m going to try to use it for all non-essentials. I’m also trying to stay away from bookshops and amazon.com, though I agree that using the wishlist option works really well. I have a tonne of stuff on my wishlist that I’m not the slightest bit interested in buying anymore.
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I absolutely love the tip about the Amazon wish list; works well for me, and often when I decide I want it, the price has gone down or it’s being offered used.
If we really want something, we don’t stop wanting it. But this is, as you pointed out, a great chance for research and bargain hunting. I’ve wanted an iPod touch since they came out, since this is a one time cost instead of a cell phone contract. But my old PDA was still working, so I told myself to wait and see what a 2nd gen touch was like. In the meantime, they improved it and added the app store!
So I’m actually enjoying my purchase more because I waited.
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Thanks for all the tips! Some are familiar to me, and some – like paying cash for everything and running the purchase through the “significant other filter” are things that I’ve been coming to understand an implement recently.
My vice is not buying things for myself, rather those adorable clothes they make in just my daughter’s size. Here are a few tricks I use to help prevent going overboard on her clothing:
*I buy almost exclusively from the sale racks and when there’s a sale store-wide. That’s not to say I shop for her every time there’s a sale in one of our favourite stores, rather we avoid going in those stores if there isn’t a sale. So almost all of her clothes are from the previous year’s collection – at least she doesn’t look like every other kid in her class, right?
*If it’s not already on sale, I almost always put it back and check a few weeks later when there’s a new sale or the next season’s line is the big thing.
*I ask myself: Will she get X amount of dollars’-worth out of this item before she outgrows it? Or better yet, will I keep her from wearing it as often because I don’t want her to mess it up?
I still find that I end up with too many overlapping items, as I haven’t been good about keeping track of what she does and does not have for the next size of clothing. My new strategy to combat this issue is to make a tally sheet of approximately how many of each type of item she really “needs” (so I can go two weeks without doing laundry!) and keep it updated every time I purchase something for her. If I’m above or below the mark by a factor of one, I’m ok with that. More than that, not so much. Thoughts?
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Hi. This comment doesnt have anything to do with this post but I wanted to thank you for the post you did the other day on money saving mom. I went today and opened up my new high interest savings account and will be earning lots of $$$ on my $$$ for doing nothing! Great blog and article.
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The best practise that has helped me is not to give in to impulsive purchases. Most material purchases can be slept on and do your research, there might be a better alternative – item, price, deal or value wise.
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I use the Amazon wish list too. I have a bunch of stuff on there, it goes for pages. I wonder if there’s a limit … Also, Amazon has a list of your past purchases. You could choke a horse with what I’ve spent there in the past. It’s a wake up call to look over your old orders. I can’t believe I spent that much. Other than that, I try to stay out of the mall, which isn’t hard because I too hate to shop. Frankly, my shopping didn’t get out of hand until the internet and QVC came along. It was too much of an effort before that. However, I reformed myself about four years ago and no longer have consumer debt- just the mortgage, which I spend a lot of time on trying out various early payment scenarios. My new hobby-
Also, it’s kind of strange, but it helps me to think to myself that even if I never get ‘x’, it’s still out there in the world – in the wild, if you like. It isn’t gone; it still exists. It’s still possible that I might have it or at least see it in real life someday. That’s for those rare or exotic things that I’ll likely never have, see, or do.
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The 30-day rule is genius! I usually just wait for 24 hours, but admittedly, this results in some purchases that I definitely wouldn’t have followed through with had I waited a full 30 days.
Also, the thrift/vintage/used market is probably one of the most and, until more recently, under-utilized approaches. Hopefully, more bartering and use of used goods will help cut down on the waste that results when people (like me) buy things that they realize they don’t want long before the thing loses its usefulness.
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I’ll support the “rental” idea… I recently wanted to learn guitar, and i didn’t want to pay for a new guitar… so at my local guitar shop they rented me the whole kit – amp/ guitar/ etc – for $18 per month…. instead of paying $350 … I figure I can try this out for a few months, and then if I don’t like it or the guitar, just return the whole package! Easy solution!
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I enjoyed spending money on things that i did not necessary need. But times changed and now, even if i go shopping with my friends i don’t buy anything that was not supposed to be taken.
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Just saw the movie “Shopholic”, it’s interesting that disease and addiction on shopping came out to be extravaganza, I do say that this will ruin someone savings.But come to think about it if we don’t spend then the economy will also stop, no body is buying any Prada or Gucci shoes, but it’s a way of living.Pick your choice.
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Great Post! Here is my 30 second approach:
The next time your are going to make a purchase– do yourself and your wallet a favor. This idea takes less than 30 seconds.
Stop and ask yourself three simple questions:
Do I really NEED it (or do I just WANT it)?
Will it be used? Really?
Will it end up in a garage or tag or yard sale?
These three questions will save you money, avoid clutter, and simplify your life.
More of my thoughts on purchase decisions:
http://divorceddadfrugaldad.com/2009/02/13/purchase-decisions-a-recap.aspx
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I pretty much don’t read catalogs at all unless I am looking for something in particular. I cancelled every one I could with Catalog Choice – I can look at the on line version.
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The most simple and important question you should ask yourself is: ” Can I pay cash?”
If you can’t pay for it, don’t buy it. How simple is that?
i have been using ” Can i wait to buy this?” rule for a while and it really helps. Sometimes I buy the thing I want later, but most of the time I just forget about it. The result – it saved me money.
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This article really speaks to my heart, especially lately. I stopped using credit cards around Thanksgiving last year. I was spending about $300 on average per month. I realize now how much could have gone into retirement savings or…some other worthy fund. But I had no direction, even knowing your mantra, “The Road To Wealth Is Paved With Goals.”
So I *do* pay cash, but I am not really saving much because there’s not much left to save. My biggest challenge is that I am , well, flighty. I decide I want to learn about, or get involved in X, and immediately purchase 2 or 3 books about it, and then follow the books’ suggestions on where to spend more money, and within a few weeks, I am bored of the entire subject. My library is so multi-personality it could appear on a talk show.
I think what I need to do now is impose even greater wait times before I decide I am “really, really” going to make X a lifelong hobby/habit/whatever.
It won’t be easy. But reading GRS often helps remind me of the bigger goals (which I have only just begun defining).
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Someone touched on “Do I love it?” I guess my method is a sub-category of “is this the best” whether it’s the best deal or if the product is actually a good product (checking it out on Consumer Reports and so forth.) I think about whether something is going to enrich my life. I read an article about a woman who wanted to move because she wanted to upgrade to a bigger, better place. While cleaning up and clearing things out, her friend suggested that she make it a beautiful place, something that buyers would fall in love with. So she set up themes for the rooms and color schemes when she repainted … and she started to cry when someone expressed interest, because she realized that she didn’t want to move anymore.
I realized I don’t want to buy food unless it tastes good and is good for me, I don’t want to buy something if it’s going to be ugly or collect dust, I don’t want to buy something if it doesn’t impact my life in a positive way. I have to love it.
I’m shopping for indoor furniture right now. I realized I hated everything I was looking at. It was huge, and expensive, and boring. The pieces I loved had lots of exposed wood and very little cushion, and often had an open feeling to them.
My friend and I were at a department store and I saw this outdoor furniture set … and I looked at her and asked, would it be crazy if I used something like that for inside? She loved the idea, and I fell in love with the feel of that furniture. So now I’m looking for graceful ironwork, exposed wood, a finished look with just the right seat cushions–and I’m so happy I didn’t settle for a generic stuffed thing that would have been too big for my house anyway.
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If I get an urge to spend, I fill out a mail order catalogue order form with everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, I could possibly want from it. Then, when I gasp at the price, I just start cutting things off the list. When I whittle it down, I then make myself leave it for a day or two, then come back to it. Half the time I forget to do so, and therefore end up spending nothing. The rest of the time, I usually cut it some more. This manner of shopping keeps me very satisfied both with what I spend and also with what I buy.
I also use a quick principle from “Your Money or Your Life,” and ask myself “how much life energy will this item cost me?” Since I’m not fabulously happy with my dayjob, the item certainly better be worth the life energy I put in at work to pay for it. Also, I ask myself “which feels better, having this $49 object or being $49 closer to being debt-free?”
It’s amazing how these techniques have curbed my spending drastically, and at the same time made me much more calm and content with what I do have and buy.
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A few years ago, I had very few money on hand. However, I dreamt of a holiday in a certain city in the south of France (I live in the Netherlands). Every time I felt the urge to spend, I’d ‘translate’ the price into how much hours I could spend in France for that amount of money. After realising that “this pair of trousers equals 1,5 days of holiday” I usually didn’t want the item any more.
It’s been the best method ever since.
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Katie #23, those people are cliquy little morons, and as a fellow Cincinnatian I swear I will steer everyone I know away from that store. I too have worked in jobs never quite fitting in, and believe me, it was to my benefit that I eventually left and found something better. You will too! You will look back and shake your head in disbelief. Hopefully you already are!
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Since I move a lot (every 1-2 years), I usually ask myself: “If I buy this, will I end up throwing it away when I move?”
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1. I’m extraordinarily picky, and given a set of options, will by instinct choose the most expensive item without ever looking at the price. This has been enough to save me in many instances, because I’m not willing to pay that much for the item, and I don’t want to buy something cheaper that doesn’t appeal to me.
2. Knowing the resale value of most material goods is significantly less than the original purchase price stops me from buying new.
3. Storage is also an issue for me, so I make myself dispose of surplus or worn-out items several times a year. Everything new that comes into my home is displacing something else. I have to decide whether it is worth parting with my current possessions & paying for the privilege of carting them to Goodwill.
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Probably the most useful question I’ve found is this: “Is it ethically produced?”
What that means depends on one’s personal ethics – ‘green’ (anything from excess packaging up), human rights (does its production bolster an oppressive regime? fair trade? by a company which permits or encourages child labour or the violence against trade unionists?), animal rights (whether it’s veganism or just buying barn eggs rather than battery eggs), various religious frameworks…
Asking myself that does two things: one is to make me more careful about what I buy (‘though usually I have to use other methods when it comes to second-hand things), and the other is to simplify the Big or recurring buying decisions.
“Have I got space?” is rising up the hierarchy of necessary questions, though.
Another barrier is to add 10% to the price: this year’s resolution is that if I buy something which isn’t either a necessity or a ‘necessary luxury’, I have to give 10% to charity, or to someone who needs it. That also makes one think.
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Switching to online shopping has curbed my impulse buying. Staring at a cold screen just doesn’t move me the way fondling a product does. This completely contradicts the “pay cash for everything to save money” argument, but it works better for me.
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Here’s my trick, it especially works for electronics and home decor. I go to Target or Super Wal-Mart to “investigate” or “research” the thneed and then my conversation with myself usually goes something like, “well now I know what a good price is, I’ll be on the lookout for a better deal. In the meantime I need to pick up some cereal/baby formula/milk etc. since it’s such a great deal here this week.” So I get to window shop and buying something I actually do need – seems to satisfy my desire to spend.
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I leave my credit card at home.
That seems to work wonder for me – my problem lately has been the impulse shopping.
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Thank you for this! Here is my revised list, based on your fabulous list and what I’ve gleaned from all these wonderful comments. I will be carrying this in my “spend” envelope, to be looked at every time I whip out my cash:
20 Questions to Ask Yourself
When You’re Tempted to Buy
1. Why do I want to buy this?
2. If I hadn’t seen this, would I be wanting one now?
3. Can I wait to buy this?
4. In what ways will my life improve if I buy this?
5. What will happen if I don’t buy this?
6. When/how often will I use this?
7. Do I have another one like this already?
8. If so, am I using it? (If not, how will another one improve my life?)
9. If I buy this, where will I put it?
10. Am I willing to live with it long term?
11. Can I pay cash?
12. Which budget will the money come out of?
13. How many hours will I have to work to pay for this?
14. Does it meet all my requirements, or is it a make-do solution?
15. Are there better/acceptable alternatives available?
16. Is there something else I would rather use the money for?
17. Will it require additional or ongoing costs, or maintenance?
18. Can I buy a good-quality used version for less?
19. Is purchasing the best solution?
20. How will I dispose of it when I’m finished with it?
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