Kris and I had dinner last night with our new acquaintances friends, Chris and Jolie. Dinner was fun. This was in part because our hosts made a point of preparing a frugal meal. “If you bring wine,” Chris told me on the phone, “bring something cheap. I can’t tell any difference from the good stuff.” I happily complied.
I love good food and good conversation, but the truth is I’d rather have a great talk with friends over ramen noodles than have a gourmet meal filled with awkward silences. Fortunately, we had both good food and good companions last night — and it didn’t cost a fortune.
Cooking one meal a year
For dessert, Jolie served some fantastic chocolate candies. “These are great,” I said. “Did you make them?”
“I did,” she said, grinning. “They’re just chocolate chips melted in the microwave and then topped with raisins and cranberries.”
“Well, they’re delicious,” I said. You can never go wrong with chocolate chips.
Our conversation turned to food preparation, and how different families have different habits. Some spend a lot on food. Some spend very little. Some prepare all of their meals at home. Some never cook at all.
“My mother only cooks one meal a year,” Chris said.
“One meal?” I asked, incredulous.
“Yeah,” said Jolie. “The only meal she cooks is Thanksgiving dinner, and it’s quite a production. She has a spreadsheet that lists everything that needs to be done. She has columns for everyone who is helping her, and rows that show what each person should be doing at any given moment.”
Kris and I were awestruck.
“She’s an engineer,” Jolie explained.
“What does she eat for the rest of the year?” Kris asked.
“A lot of Domino’s,” said Chris. “And Burger King. That sort of thing.”
“That must be expensive,” I said.
“Yeah,” said Chris. “But both of my parents are engineers. They can afford it.”
“And was it like that when you were growing up?” Kris asked.
“Yup,” Chris said. “Pretty much.”
The notion of eating out for every meal is foreign to me. I’m sure that people do it, but I can’t imagine the cost. When I was a boy, my family rarely dined in restaurants. My parents couldn’t afford it. We were poor. Now that I’m older, I eat out much more often — sometimes too often. But every meal?
McDonald’s every day
“I think Chris had quite a shock when we started eating at home,” Jolie said. “He grew up eating in restaurants. In college, he ate on campus. Then we spent four years overseas at a job where there were communal meals. Other people did the cooking. Eventually, though, we had to make our own food.”
Chris nodded. “When we got married, my goal was to be able to eat at McDonald’s every day. If we could do that, I thought we’d be rich.”
“McDonald’s?” Kris asked, screwing up her face.
“Those were my early days of goal-setting,” Chris said, and we laughed.
“You have to understand,” Jolie said, “when we got married, we had a budget of $30 a week for food. For both of us combined. That’s not very much. When your food budget is that small, you learn to pinch your pennies. Chris ate a lot of raviolis. I ate a lot of macaroni and cheese. And I’d buy the Wal-Mart brand because it was 33 cents per box. Kraft macaroni and cheese was better, but it cost twice as much.”
“Right,” said Chris. “And we each got $3 a week from the $30 to spend on special treats.”
“Little Debbies were 99 cents!” Jolie said.
Chris smiled. “I ate a lot of Zebra Cakes.”
I smiled, too. I was thinking of how I used to buy boxes of Jiffy muffin mixes when I was in college. Who needed chocolate cake or apple pie? Give me a 25-cent box of blueberry muffin mix and I was a happy camper.
30 bucks a week
Our conversation reminded me of a website that a friend sent me recently. 30 Bucks a Week is a blog chronicling the adventures of one couple in New York as they try to squeeze all of their home-cooked meals out of a $30 weekly budget. (This isn’t a militant experiment — the couple still eats in restaurants about once a week, and occasionally has alcohol. Those costs are not included in the $30.)
Reading 30 Bucks a Week, and speaking with Chris and Jolie, makes me realize how much lifestyle inflation has affected my eating habits. As I’ve earned more, I’ve spent more on food. My appetite has grown to match my income.
But expensive food doesn’t necessarily make me happier. Some of the best times Kris and I have had were when we were scrimping and saving, living on chicken noodle soup and Jiffy muffin mix. Though fine food can be a wonderful thing, the real pleasure of dining comes from the people you’re with. Good food doesn’t have to be expensive.
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E: #50
I’m a big fan of Rachael Ray’s show ’30 Minute Meals’. I learned how to turn out delicious, 3 course meals in about 30-40 minutes (she’s a faster chopper than I am!) Cooking a dinner party doesn’t have to be time consuming – it helps to know which recipes you can turn out fast! Practicing on yourself helps too!
For a large number of guests, I prefer a ‘tapas bar’ style with lots of small bites rather than a formal dinner where we sit at a table. Allows people to wander around and mingles. You can get most of the tapas snacks from an olive bar at the local supermarket, cheese and crackers that take no time to prepare, then pan fry some chorizo bites in a pan for a hot meat. Easy! You can spend more time snacking and mingling!
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I can’t imagine eating ramen, ravioli, mac and cheese, and other processed “ready made” foods for very long… I love them in moderation, but I’m definitely a home cook and love making exciting delicious meals out of simple ingredients.
My husband and I are extremely frugal and have a TIGHT budget (no cable TV? Our friends are horrified!) but other than sticking to simple ingredients, cooking at home, and growing some of our own veggies, we don’t “sacrifice” much in the way of food.
Our grocery budget is $400/month just for the two of us (granted, this includes personal care items, cleaning stuff, paper products, and dog food too). So yeah, I’m not a fan of “frugal eating” if you can afford anything more than that. Nothing beats good produce and from-scratch meals.
But there’s nothing wrong with inexpensive/simple meals either, and it’s a great way to get together with friends. Usually when we have dinner parties we do it semi-potluck style (I make the entree and everyone else brings sides/salad/dessert/whatever). Low stress for everyone and we can focus on each other.
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I’ve been known to invite friends over for a bowl of chili. It’s all about the company, not the food.
Recently I tried a braised lamb shanks recipe we got from a winery. It was great, but I think the appetizer was enjoyed even more – and all it was, was endive leaves with a schmear of soft goat cheese and a slice of smoked duck breast. Easy. Though, come to think of it, not that cheap!
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I was going to say give me hot dogs on the grill and a couple of good friends over champagne and brie anyday, but on second thought… A judicious blend of both makes everything more enjoyable. Consider yourself lucky to have such good dinner company!
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Lovely post!
I’ve been sick with a cold this week, too tired to cook, so we had Kraft mac & cheese and green peas – always cheers me up. Now if I just had a glass of Hi-C!
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Spending $30 on food split between 2 people is down right stupid. I say this because if you’re spending this much you’re most likely substituting healthy foods.
In the long run, even if your bill is higher, the healthy foods are more worthwhile. Your work productivity and energy levels will be much higher. Not to mention your future medical bills being lower.
Spend the extra money on good, healthy food. Cut costs elsewhere.
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In this bleak economy, I think we should plant our own foods in our backyard, it will suffice though tough for starters.I have a guava tree in my backyard, and I can juice them.
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I wish I liked cooking, but I don’t. It’s a drag. I’d sooner do laundry, vacuum, change the cat box. At least the house is cleaner when you’re done vacuuming. Cold cereal – it’s a girl’s best friend.
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@chacha1: “all it was, was endive leaves with a schmear of soft goat cheese and a slice of smoked duck breast. Easy.”
Are you joking? It might be easy, but as you said it is not economical and certainly not simple by any stretch. I’m impressed that you could prepare with such ease things that I would only order in an expensive restaurant and the vast majority of the US would never have in their life. It reminds me of the disconnect felt by many with Obama’s arugula comment during the campaign.
So many commenting seem to have missed the spirit of the article, which is the nostalgia for the simple days of ramen and mac and cheese when you are young and poor and how companionship matters more than food sometimes. This is a good piece for those struggling in a recession, who perhaps can’t afford that expensive appetizer anymore. Sadly, I don’t think most of those people are reading this blog.
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When I was young and poor, I ate eggs, pasta with a little butter and a little cheese(there wasn’t ramen then) and these little fish that came frozen in a big bag at my supermarket(in a fiarly poor neighborhood). Years later, a friend told me his mom only used those fish to cook for the cats.
Not as tasty as fresh(to me) but still nutritious and thrifty – and useful for soups and stews- are frozen vegetables. It seems there is always some brand on sale at my supermarkets- including their own brand-which is not necessarily so cheap at the regular price.
and did I post this already? Domino’s and Burger king, yuck!
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I’m all about frugality but mac and cheese? McDonald’s food? Isn’t anyone at all concerned about nutrition? Maybe that’s impossible on $30 a week, I haven’t tried it. Very sad that poor people have to eat so badly.
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J.D.- Why not substitute “Cooking” with “Meal Preparation” ? Maybe Chris and Jolie need to learn how to make a basic sandwich at home and avoid McDonald’s and Burger King.
A sandwich doesn’t need to require any “cooking”, only Bread, veggies, meat, cheese, salt, pepper… they are quick, nutritious, tasty and cheap. Served hot or cold, a sandwich can easily be “Dinner” and can be prepared in the home at any time without special skills or labor.
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Love the Thanksgiving story. It sounds like me! Actually, kind of but not to that extent. I am an Engineer and like everything to be measured, labeled, etc.
My husband freaked out when I started putting dates on all refrigerated food. Now he is also doing it! Don’t you agree that is a good idea?
Anyway, I believe frugal means “wise use of resources”. It is not being cheap. With that said, we LOVE good quality food. We do not compromise except when we are in a situation where food is served to us at a function, we are on the road, out of convenience…etc. Not everything we buy is organic but most are natural, whole foods. We are especially particular about staples such as rice, milk, eggs, yogurt, sugar, honey, cereal. We do not eat much meat.
I agree – the company is what matters, not the food. Although, good food is nice. A typical dinner we make for friends would consist of: Mixed Green Salad, Wild Salmon or a Chicken Dish, Wild Rice or Potato Dish, and Flan. The salmon is expensive but when we combine with the cheap salad, rice, and flan, it’s a good balance. Sometimes, just salad and pasta with homemade sauce. Simple meals can be very tasty. We generally do not serve “processed” food. We avoid anything artificial, with high fructose corn syrup, msg, etc.
Wow, I am looking forward to a great summer of eating with friends
…and if you must have mac and cheese (we do sometimes), go for “Annie’s” brand. They are side by side with Kraft at Costco for about the same price.
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@ Kristia@FamilyBalanceSheet
“Have your friends or their parents’ seen the movie “Super Size Me”. That is the first thing I thought of when I read this post. ”
Funny, I thought the same thing. Eating every day at McDonald or Burger King: lots of calories, very few vitamins.
Also, wouldn’t it get boring eating the same thing every day for a year? It’s not like either or these places has much of variety. I don’t mind eating the same food I cooked for more than one day – I don’t have time to cook every day, and certain dishes take too much time for me to be worth it to eat for only one day. Also, having grown up in the Soviet Union, I am used to not having much variety. But I don’t believe I could handle Mc Donald or Burger King fare forever.
I find that eating out is very much an American thing. I believe most of us immigrants prefer to eat at home and view eating out more like a special occasion.
I don’t even consider it a frugal choice, although I do consider the cost of a single restaurant meal a waste of money. I buy ingredients that I like, I can buy expensive fruit occasionally, I cook what I like. I can spend money on things I like, even things that other people may find wasteful, but for me eating out is a special occasion. It must be cultural differences I guess.
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Call me obstinate, but I think good food does have to cost more. Four examples off the top of my head –
Organic Straus Family nonfatmilk in glass bottles (with an extra bottle charge that is refunded when you bring it back) . . . around $4.49 per half-gallon plus the $1.25 CRV. (Whole Foods)
Odwalla fresh-squeezed orange juice at $7.99 for 64 oz. — though occasionally that size will go on sale for $6.99. (Safeway)
Cabot Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese for $5.99 per lb. (Trader Joe’s)
One loaf of three-seed whole grain bread from Vital Vittles for $5.39. (Safeway)
The cheaper stuff is far, far inferior on taste. (And often less healthful as well.)
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Being frugal is only part of the deal. Being with friends is another. Social contacts make our lives happier, but we got to spend a little money socializing. In my view, reasonable expenses spend on socializing is well worth it.
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Ha! funny. Hub and I are both engineers too. But I cook a lot. Didn’t learn until I was 32, though. Before then, I cooked a little, but inevitably burned or cut myself. (Including needing stitches and a tetanus shot the night before my professional engineer’s exam.)
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