I did a little time traveling yesterday, and I didn’t like it.
“I’m going to clean the workshop,” I announced at breakfast. “I know I should write or mow the lawn, but I’m going to clean the workshop.”
“Sounds good,” Kris said. She rarely argues when I have an urge to do some cleaning.
A glimpse at the past
When we first looked at this property five years ago, I was drawn to the outbuildings. I have fond memories of the outbuildings on my grandparents’ land, so I was excited that our new house would have a detached garage, two sheds, and a workshop.
For the first couple of years, I actually used the workshop for its intended purpose. It was the place I practiced my (very limited) handyman skills. I also used it to build computers for family and friends. In time, however, the building fell into disuse; it gradually turned to storage.
I gave a tour of our home to a visitor last month. When I showed the workshop, I was dismayed. I hadn’t really looked at it in months — or years. But when I saw it through the eyes of a stranger, it was clear that it had become a dumping ground for my cast-off Stuff.
The past recaptured
I’ve written before about my battle with Stuff. In many ways, I’ve made great progress. I’m less acquisitive than I used to be, and I’ve sold most of the things that have value. But I still possess a great mass of Stuff.
As I began my cleaning project yesterday, the workshop was packed with:
- Old computer parts (Apple II, Macintosh SE, etc.)
- Vinyl record albums from my youth
- Compact discs
- Darkroom equipment
- Old books and comics
- Stacks and stacks of magazines
- Boxes and bags filled with miscellaneous junk
- Packaging materials from three years of purchases
Looking at this collection of Stuff — none of which I need or use anymore — I was overwhelmed. I felt sick. Did I really purchase all of this Stuff? Why? As I worked, I tried to answer that question.
Whenever I picked something up, I tried to remember how much I had paid for it and what had led me to buy it:
This voice recorder cost $59. I thought it would keep me from forgetting things, but I never remembered to use it. Not once. These photography books cost $20 each. I thought they’d help me make better photos, but I’m not sure I read any of them at all. I bought this old Apple II for $125 off of eBay because I wanted to play the games I remember from fifth and sixth grade. I used it for a couple of hours.
I took a trip through my past, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. All around me was evidence of my wasteful ways. For nearly 20 years, I had been in acquisition mode. I accumulated Stuff. My workshop was filled with the last remnants of this life.
One fundamental principle of frugality is to buy only things for which you have a use (even if that use is pleasure). The old J.D. wasn’t good at this. I bought a lot of stuff that I didn’t need — and barely wanted.
Now here I am at 40, and when I look at all of the things I own, I can’t help but wonder what my younger self was thinking. Buying this Stuff seemed like a good idea at one time, I know, but owning these things did not make me happy. It didn’t make me feel free. Quite the opposite, in fact. This Stuff is a burden, a physical and a mental barrier to the things that are actually important to me.
A dream of the future
Kris and I are in the very early stages of planning our vacation for next year, and we’re leaning towards a Rick Steves tour. Steves is a one-bag zealot: Participants are not allowed to bring more than a single carry-on suitcase, whether the tour lasts two days — or twenty.
This might seem limiting to some, but I find the one-bag philosophy liberating. When Kris’ parents took us to London and Dublin in 2007, I took a single carry-on bag. For three weeks, my entire world consisted solely of the possessions I could squeeze into this suitcase. It was awesome. I felt unburdened. When we returned from that trip, the one-bag experience prompted me to undergo a short phase during which I purged Stuff around the house — but I never finished the job.
As I continue to develop my personal and financial goals for the future, I want to focus less on Stuff. I’ve learned to guard against the invasion of Stuff, but I want to take it a step further. I want to eliminate more of the Stuff I already own. To that end, I’ve developed some personal guidelines to help me approach the task:
- Don’t overthink it. With so much Stuff to get rid of, it’s easy to make the project even better than it has to be. I’m tempted to draw up plans on paper or to simply re-arrange the Stuff into new piles. The key is to dispense with all this folderol and just get started.
- Focus on one item at a time. If I look at the entire project at once, I’m overwhelmed. How on earth will I ever clean the workshop? How will I ever find a place for all this Stuff? Instead, I concentrate on one thing at a time. Where does this photo enlarger go? And what about my old Tintin books? I break the project into smaller steps.
- Don’t get depressed. When I think about the time and money that this Stuff represents, I sometimes let it get me down. It seems like such a waste. But the past is the past, and I cannot change what I’ve done. All I can do is try to make smart choices going forward, to guard against the invasion of Stuff, and to get rid of the clutter that’s already in my life.
- Do some good with the Stuff you have. If I’m going to get rid of things, I might as well make the most of them. Sure, much of the Stuff is going to end up in the trash, but can some of the items be donated to a local thrift store? A school? In my case, I have darkroom equipment that somebody on Craigslist or Freecycle may want. My nephew would probably love the two boxes of model railroad parts I’ve acquired.
- Purge ruthlessly. When I sort through this Stuff, I have to turn off the emotional side of my brain. This can be difficult, but it’s necessary. Do I really need my high school newspapers? All of my old role-playing games? My boxes of common football cards? What about my cassette tapes from high school and college? The financial records for buying our first house in 1993? Everything has some sort of meaning; if I keep it all, I’m going to be buried in clutter.
- Remember how this feels. Though I’m doing much better at avoiding Stuff, I still have my weaknesses. I still bring home too many books. I’m still drawn to “free” stuff by the side of the road. Next week, I plan to attend an enormous neighborhood garage sale, and if I’m not careful, I could come home with even more Stuff. When I’m tempted in the future, I need to remind myself of what it feels like to dig through this crap.
I almost think that this project should make me feel happy and triumphant, not sad and mopey. Look how far I’ve come! Look at the smart choices I’m now able to make! And think of how much less cluttered my life will be once I purge all of this stuff!
I don’t feel triumphant yet, but maybe I’ll get there. For now, I’m hoping that my own experience can serve as an object lesson to others who might be acquisition mode. Buying Stuff (and getting Stuff for free) can seem like fun. It can seem like “winning”. It’s not. Don’t buy things for which you have no use; the value is in the using, not the having.
This article is about Consumerism, House and Home, Psychology
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The real question is, what vinyl records do you have?
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Rick Steves is great for people who are into package tours but I agree with Nathan #4 and Karen #13, it could get expensive. Probably up to 50% more than independent travel. You have to do the work yourself but in Europe it is very easy using the Eurail Train Pass.
While a 2-week trip costs $4000 + air – That is $10,000 for 2 people for just 2 weeks with Rick Steves. We spent $30,000 for 4.5 months in 19 European Countries, staying in hotels and eating at restaurants. Of course, there were only 4 flights involved and everything was on the train but just to demonstrate how easily you could do it yourself and save money. In Rome, the hotel (Aberdeen Hotel) we stayed in had a Rick Steves group on a tour. We booked the room ourselves and got there by train so yes, it is the same. Public transportation is also more fun and part of the cultural experience. Better than a mini-bus full of tourists. You have to be a little bit more careful with safety but that’s more fun.
However, again if you want to go the easy route, Rick Steves tours are good. Plus, you might enjoy mingling with other people. Just do your research.
Let me know if you want more information on independent travel.
http://www.cosmicadventure.com
-Charlotte
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I have a shelf in my garage full of mostly common football and baseball cards. It feels so wrong to just throw them away. They probably aren’t worth enough to try selling. So they sit on my shelf taking up space.
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I agree with you there, KS. By Joey’s definition, I shouldn’t own a strapless bra, first aid kit, a party dress, dress shoes, emergency kit, emergency use cell phone, baking pans, a basic suit, etc.
But I can see his point. Many of the items I don’t use often are ones I tend to research ahead of time or shop around for. If it’s not going to get used very often, it deserves more thought rather than being an impulse buy.
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I love Rick Steves’ books. I agree with the one bag theory of travel. My first trip overseas was to Greece and my teacher told us, “You’ll have to carry your bag for 10 blocks uphill on narrow stairs in some places, so plan accordingly!”
It was never quite that bad, but it was a good lesson in packing light. Nothing like carrying everything with you to focus on your needs vs your wants.
I have been cleaning up my hoard of stuff and like you, I remember when or why I acquired stuff and it seems so unimportant now.
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On the “Stuff” — gad. It just appears, I swear!
It sounds like you have a handle on what to do next.
DH and I tend to travel on our own, but we very much enjoyed our Rick Steves tour of Paris. It was the friendliest group of people ever, and we got to see the typical tourist stuff. We also got to walk around and see more of “normal Paris” than we would if we were trapped on a bus. I think it helped that Steve Smith (co-author of the Paris/France books) was our lead guide — neat guy. We had 2-6 hrs/day on our own, if we wanted.
If you decide to do the Rick Steves tour, give yourself a few days on either side to explore on your own.
We would use Rick Steves tours again for a place and language we are unfamiliar with: Turkey, Russia, Eastern Europe, most Asian countries (were they there).
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I am in the middle of decluttering my garage after 30 years — yipes. Old cassette tapes, CD boxes with no CDs in them, bottles & cans for a forgotten recycling drive, old sports trophies (both of my sons are in their 20s now), boxes of things I wanted to save but have no idea why. I am a court reporter and required to keep my paper notes for one year. I had boxes of notes from the 80s!!!! At least there were no 8 track tapes. Be thankful for small favors. I must say having a dumpster would have been helpful. As it is I have to wait for my weekly pick up to start in again but I am making some headway. I hope by the end of the month to have a pristine garage with room for parking our cars, some gardening tools and my husband’s work bench & nothing else.
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All I have to say is: eBay and donations.
If you aren’t going to use it, get rid of it and either make money (eBay) or get the tax deduction from the donation.
Then sell the sheds to keep yourself from accumulating stuff in the future.
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Great post. I feel the same way about the psychologicail burdens of “stuff.”
This weekend, after getting tired of looking at a box full of stuff i’d been collecting for a tag sale, and realizing a tag sale wouldn’t be worth the time or money, I decided to just get rid of it. I did try to post what i thought were the most “sellable” items on craigslist, but got not a bite. So the pack of votive candles went in the trash. The books i donated to the library for its annual book sale. Etc. Etc. Perhaps one of the biggest wastes was the $160 i spent 10 years ago on a set of rollerblades which i used maybe 3 times. Now i’m too old to get banged up by rollerblading falls.
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Funny that you mention the one-bag guideline for vacation in relation to purging your excess belongings. As we strive towards minimalism and less stuff, we often joke about the ideal of the one-bag escape. We talk about how nice it would to have all of our posessions able to fit into a big duffel bag in case we need to pack up and escape quickly (you know, like in case of a zombie attack or something like that).
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I agree with the poster who said that moving often helps limit the amount of stuff that you have. We moved 11 times in the first 10 years of marriage (int’l corporate assignments and several grad school moves, as overseas was part of the program). Only when we bought a house and had 2 girls did stuff start to accumulate. Now that they are older and loads of their childhood toys have moved on, we have some of our real estate back.
I’ve also made it known to those who buy gifts for me that I only want experience or consumable gifts from now on. Passes to movies, zoo memberships, decent $10 wines, etc..are all great gifts that won’t end up in a corner, and eventually the curb. We’ve lived 10 years in our house, and it’s really difficult to NOT accumulate stuff in this society.
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Oh yes. One idea you may not have thought about. If your life is flexible enough, it is fairly easy to rent an apt in a great city for a month or several months, and then travel at your leisure. When my husband was in grad school, we lived in Paris in a 6th floor walkup that had a tiny bath, tiny kitchen and 2 other rooms that were convertable rooms, and we all slept in one and ate and had living space in the other. We paid the equivelant of $600/month and it was in a great part of town. We had a 3 yr old at the time, and I was shocked to find out that the family who owned the flat had raised 6 children in this small space!!!Too much space =Too much stuff.
Anyway, being based for a period of time gives you the flexibility to travel and really get to know another culture. Have fun on all your travels!
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JD-I’m waging the same war against Stuff that you are–Congratulations for seeing it as a burden and even attempting to do something about it!
It’s natural to regret the resources (OK, money) tied up in stuff, but at the time we bought it we were younger, and to a less mature mind it all seemed to make perfect sense. The younger we are the more we’re oriented toward acquisition–which is the very reason the marketing world targets the youth market specifically, so I guess you can say we all had some “help” in learning how to acquire during those years.
I’m sure there are some psychological studies that can explain why it’s so hard to get rid of possessions, even if we never use them. Here’s my shot at it: in our minds, by holding on to stuff, we think we’re somehow giving or preserving it’s value–which somehow justifies our having acquired it in the first place.
Maybe that’s the obstacle that keeps me from being more aggressive in getting rid of stuff, but I also have to confess that I’ve never regretted getting rid of anything. In fact, most of what I felt was…LIBERATED!
Excellent thread, thanks!
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I love the title of the post (and Proust).
I have to say, it’s hard to relate to this post, as someone who lives in a 4th floor walkup apartment no more than 500 square feet. If I wanted a lot of stuff I would have to carry it up 4 flights of steep stairs (or hire someone to do it for me) and then when it got to my apt. I would have to find somewhere to store it. Makes me think long and hard about what I buy. I hope that in the future our houses and living spaces are smaller so we will have less room and be less tempted to bury ourselves in stuff.
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I found this fascinating to read! I would be very interested to hear how you get on with this project. Good luck.
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JD, I bought one of those voice recorders and ALSO forgot to use it! I still have it, and every time I see it, I keep saying to myself “once you replace the batteries, you can really get yourself organized!” But I keep forgetting to replace the batteries!
Your post reminded me once again at how many years and dollars I spent being brainwashed into thinking my possessions defined me. I am conflicted in that the frugal part of me feels I should not dispose of my clutter until I sell it and put the money towards paying down debt. The part that just wants to live simply says to donate it or throw it away…just get rid of it, and get rid of it fast!
My husband and I spent a weekend in North Carolina in one of those extended-stay hotels. Neither of us wanted to pay the baggage fee for the flight, so we each took a carry-on. It was liberating, and I loved having a weekend with virtually no stuff to clean, organize or maintain! I get the same feeling when I go on meditation retreats…yum!
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What a terrific post! I’m guilty of this. My problem is that I’m constantly cleaning and purging, and I never seem to be rid of it. I’ll think I’ve done a good job purging only to realize that I still have more junk I need to get rid of. I used to be a collector of such things like stationary, coins, erasers, and the biggest space eater are my box of gadget manuals and three boxes of notes/letters/cards that I have received throughout the years. I have not been able to get rid of those at all. Do people just throw away their letters? If I took pictures of all these letters and notes, it probably would take forever! But I guess that would be the suggestion. Yes, my problem is I do get emotionally attached to letters, yearbooks, or things I made or a friend made. I have been able to purge useless trinkets and gifts.
J.D., you probably already know about this website but I love love http://www.onebag.com/ – Ever since I went to Europe and researched on how to travel lightly, I use their method of packing all the time and only use one carry-on backpack (Rick Steve’s!). I will never go back to using rolling luggage, even if it takes me a while to unpack-pack with the one-bag method. It feels completely liberating to have everything on my back.
Can’t wait to hear more about your getting rid of your Stuff. It’s inspired me to go home and tackle more of my ‘Stuff’!
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i tend to move a lot at this stage in my life – so whenever i’m tempted to buy “stuff” i just think about whether it will be something worth moving later, or whether i will just sell/donate/gift it when i move on.
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With regard to those computer parts: since you live in Portland, you might consider taking them to FreeGeek (www.freegeek.org). There are “suggested” prices for dropping off your computer stuff, but they’re not a huge amount. FreeGeek will take “computers and computer related hardware in any condition.” They reuse the parts to put together working computers, which they then give to their volunteers or to nonprofits, or sell for cheap in their thrift shop. What it can’t use, it recycles according to the strictest rules possible so that none of the computer bits end up in the landfill. It’s a fantastic organization; there are others in other parts of the world as well.
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There’s something to that moving thing. We’ve moved several times in the past 20 years and it’s a good thing from a standpoint of eliminating clutter. We’re it not for periodic moves we’d be snowed under with crap! It forces you to purge from time to time. Moving puts you face to face with the question, “do we really need this”, and if the answer is no, there’s a tangible reason to justify ditching it.
That’s about the only thing I like about moving!
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I’ve been having similar thoughts after trawling through my Stuff last weekend for a pre-moving purge. What really surprised me is how much I regret spending lots of money on books! I’ve always been a bookworm and always had tonnes of books. But when I was tossing things, all I could think was, WHY did I buy all these books new when I could have borrowed them from the library or friends, downloaded them for free to my iPhone or bought them for a few dollars secondhand and then resold them? WHY?
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Oh, and PS: I went to the UK for three weeks (including attending a wedding) with one bag and my only regret was that I didn’t take even less. If the packed bag weighs over 4 kg (9 lb or so) it’s too heavy IMO.
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I admire your resolve. We have too much stuff, and need to purge. It’s hard to get motivated. So many more fun things to do. Like read GRS!
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Have you considered joining the garage sale instead of just attending to “shop”? You could contribute to the number of buyers by paying for some extra advertising and the more people selling in one place, the better everything seems to look to other shoppers.
Turn that event around and do both of you a favor!
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Why not put up a list of your possessions and see if any readers might need them?
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JD, I know how you feel, we have just relocated from the Philippines to Oman and moving from a large house to amuch smaller house with 3 kids is a challenge, suddenly we have not enough space for all the tyhings we have kept over the years and so a ruthless PURGE is on — and as you say, I’ve been finding things we hardely ever used and wonder we ever bought them in the first place. Moving house every 3-4 years helps in this respect as every time you move you tend to throw a lot of STUFF…luckily nowadays we are not as consumerist as we used to be and can withstand the urge to buy something – unless it’s a great investment property
As for your tour of Europe, being european I would strongly urge you to do the planning yourself. Not only will it be much cheaper, in the process of planning you’ll learn a lot about the places you intend to visit and take will make it more fun. Nowadays just about everything in Europe can be booked online and there is a huge amount of competition. The Eurailpass are a good option, but also think about using the highspeed trains, Amsterdam to Paris is only 4 hours with very limited check-in hassle and if you pick the right day/time it’s pretty darn cheap too. Also, look at using http://www.ryanair.com for very cheap flights all across Europe. And while you’re at it, why not go for a couple of months instead of two weeks – there is internet in Europe nowadays, even in “Old Europe”
so you can continue blogging. Heck, why not put your own home up for a holiday rental to cover some of teh exopenses? If you can stay away from the July / August month you’ll find that most places are cheaper, less crowded and simply more fun! I’m no travel agent, but I do like your blog a lot and have been in quite a few places in Europe so if you have any specific questions feel free to drop me a line or two.
Whatever you do, enjoy the process of planning your trip and the actual trip, both can be huge fun!
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My father was in the Air Force, and we moved every 2 1/2 years. My mother used to say that three moves were as good as a fire in getting rid of stuff. Each of us kids had a footlocker. When we moved, all our toys had to go in that footlocker. We had to choose what to take.
When my wife and I were younger, we moved a great deal — 12 times in 13 years. We could move into a house or apartment and have it homey looking in three days because we had personal items, art, and books that went everywhere. Then we bought a house with a vast basement, attic, and ultimately two-story garage. We owned it for fifteen years, and each of those spaces eventually looked like my grandfather’s barn. Ditto in our present house. Nature abhors a vacuum.
We spent five months this year living in another city in a rented apartment with rented furniture, and we certainly learned what we could do without. Back home now, we are purging and using up.
We have actually bought another property in that city that needs to be furnished. Partly we are moving furniture and equipment from home, but there are still things we don’t have. We now go to second-hand stores, auctions, and yard sales with specific things in mind. If we don’t need it and we don’t love it, we don’t buy it.
This is pretty much an American way of restating William Morris’s dictum: “Have nothing about you that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” I love this because utility is easy to recognize, but Morris understands that when it comes to beauty, Your Mileage May Vary! But beauty is important. It was hard to live in a soulless space with nothing to please the eye when it came to rest.
We are finding it helpful to go through things serially. All that art! Can’t decide on it all right now, so we make multiple passes. Every pass helps me understand what I love and what is merely pleasant. Sometimes I am surprised.
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Vanessa (#71)–Have you considerd selling your old books on Amazon? You wouldn’t recover the full price you paid, but you’d at least get something back. The net of your purchase of the book new less the sale on Amazon may end up being about what it would cost to buy them second hand.
Alternatively, you can buy the books second hand–which you can also do thru Amazon–then sell them when you’re done with them. You might actually break even that way, so that you’ll have read the books for free!
(BTW, this post isn’t an ad for Amazon, I’ve been using them for years and just love the service they provide. It’s a great way to save money on books.)
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Great article.
I’m bookmarking it to send to my clients. (I do occasional professional organizing)
I have on my list this month cleaning out the kid’s playroom (our family room). It is a huge mess and half the toys are unplayed with. I think we’ll have a yard sale for most of the unused toys and finally start individual savings accounts for the kids.
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JD,
Don’t know if anyone mentioned this since I didn’t read all the comments, but if books are a big “stuff” item for you maybe you should buy one of those Kindle’s. I just bought one a coupe weeks back and quickly purged all of the paperbacks I had. Might end up with a bit of “sunk cost fallacy” by buying more books then you nomally would, but I have to say that I like the e-books and it helped me get rid of a bunch of stuff in my apartment.
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Great list. I know what you mean about the package boxes; we have a small closet housing a few of those items. I also have a colletion of menus from small eateries or takeaways. Must purge!!
By the way, lot of folks in Europe speak English so you don’t have to stress (I myself am based in Netherlands).
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Historically, having a library was a status symbol because only the upper classes could afford to collect books, and in many cases they wanted to appear wise and learned. The members of the lower class bought inexpensive literature like chapbooks (penny books)and ballads and read them aloud at gatherings and shared them.
Er… I’m over-simplifying here, but my point is that books shouldn’t be a status symbol or a decoration. I firmly believe they should be used and shared if you’re not using them yourself. Don’t regret the money you spent on good books — they’re good entertainment. Just share the wealth
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Hi JD,
great post. As I learned from his website, Rick Stevens is offering trips to europe. If you and Kris are visiting central europe, just drop me a line, maybe I can be of any assistance.
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Someone mentioned getting rid of the kids stuff as they grow out of it. I’d like to chime in on clothes. We have 2 girls and even tho one is 5 years younger than the older one, she gets all the handmedowns. Well, she’s starting to develop her own taste in clothes, so, while we’ve always gone to thrift stores when they were little (amazing what a few quarters would buy only a few years ago!), as they’ve grown into teens, I feel as though we can go to the store, give them a spending limit, and let them choose. I knew this day would come. However, I’ve also found a great consignment shop in my town, and every season we go thru the younger one’s clothes she’s outgrown,take those clothes there, and a few months later, I get a check. I immediately put that money into their college funds, with the thought that the money for clothes is spent on the girls, and so whatever money comes in for their clothes is still going for them…just in a few years from now. It helps to control space in their rooms to purge outgrown or unwanted clothes, buys them a little more education,and I get a little more real estate back!…such a great feeling!
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Get rid of a little at a time and resolve to let not only the stuff go, but the guilt. The money has already been spent. Now it’s time to move on. Guilt is such a waste anyway. You want to do better. Guilt won’t allow you to do better … guilt will have you going out buying something else to feel better. Seriously. Charity thrift shops and Freecycle are the best way to go in my opinion. When you try to sell the stuff, you get all emotionally involved with it again, thinking “I might use this one day, it does have value.” Yeah, maybe, but not to you … “blessing” someone else (e.g., nephews and railroad parts) with it will be a great feeling and one you can experience more than once. Let it go. Once you start the ball rolling, this stuff will be gone in no time (similar to the debt snowball effect).
Good luck … enjoy sharing with others,
Shirley
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Ok, so this is another book (I got it at the library), but it was helpful to me regarding the emotional issues behind being a pack rat.
Clutter Busting: Letting Go of What’s Holding You Back (Paperback) by Brooks Palmer
I have found that a good way to get rid of stuff that I don’t want but is still useful is to put it in the lunchroom at work with a sign saying “free to a good home”. Hasn’t failed yet.
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As a Portlander you have some fantastic options for unloading Stuff. Free Geek has been mentioned, and I’m sure you’re already good friends with Powell’s Books. I would add the Community Cycling Center for old bikes, bike parts, biking gear, etc – they reuse or recycle just about everything. And SCRAP for art supplies and any miscellaneous junk that could conceivably be used as such. We’ve found that stuff on the curb with a Free sign is gone very quickly, and if not a post on Craigslist is sure to make it disappear.
I have two problems. One is items with sentimental value to someone else (I don’t care). I have a NYT from my birth date which my grandmother carefully saved for 20+ years before entrusting to me. What on earth do I do with it? The other problem is my pack-rat husband. He is a man of garage sales and free stuff, collects all manner of fantastic things he’ll never use, and then is loth to get rid of anything. And every once in a while we’ll actually have need of something he’s had squirrelled away for years, and of course that justifies keeping all the other stuff cluttering our closets, garage, and two storage sheds. Oy.
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When I think about getting rid of things, whether donating or selling, this helps:
I think of some item that I really want for myself, something I’ve been pining for. Maybe it’s a cashmere sweater, a mint condition 007 movie poster from the ’60s, a new(ish) vacuum cleaner. Something that, for whatever reason, I really really want, but either can’t find or can’t afford. Then I think about how someone out there, somewhere, owns that item, and doesn’t want or use it. If only our paths could cross! If only they were ready to purge the item and it happened to cross my path. It would be such a win-win for both of us.
I then look at the “stuff” I am not using. An almost-new camping backpack, a barely-worn silk dress, a set of dishes. I realize that there’s probably someone out there who is pining for these items right now, wishing he/she could find them for a good bargain. Since I know that feeling, it helps me send those items out into the world without a moment’s regret.
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I lived in a Marriott hotel room for over a year while working overseas in the U.K. That was the best year of my life. One suitcase, and a few personal things at the office.
Now I own a house, a garage full of crap (I haven’t set foot in there in ages – it doesn’t hold the car!), a basement full of stuff, and a room upstairs full of boxes I never opened when I moved in 6 years ago. No wonder I’m in debt up to my eyeballs.
Time for me to do some serious purging – this is going to give me the push I need to get started!
THANK YOU!
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MG–your post is reassuring. I’m embarrassed to admit that our garage is full of everything but the cars! But then again, we have kids, so they take priority.
It isn’t so much that the garage is filled up with useless stuff, but more that the center portion is occupied by bicycles and other items that are used frequently, and it’s just easier to park the cars outside rather than reshuffle the contents of the garage all of the time.
Not good because garaged cars last longer. But it’s nice to know others have the same issue.
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I think a lot of people have the “full garage” problem, Kevin.
Much of what I have came to me when my dad downsized from a pole barn on a farm to a condo in the city. I had 3 rakes, 6 shovels, 2 wheelbarrows, etc. Over the past couple of years we’ve weeded out a lot of the doubles but a lot remains. I have an ancient grinding wheel that I will never use, but he thinks we need it. I also have an extra-wide flat bottomed canoe hanging in there that I just had to have (while I was working in the UK I had a LOT of disposable income – what a laugh now! I’d love to have that money back!) and I took my niece and nephews out it in at least 4 times – that’s $100 per canoe trip! Yikes…
Really bad thing is after I signed on my house, I found out 1/2 my gravel drive was actually on the neighbors property and he made it a point to tell me, as I was moving boxes in, that I was driving on his land but that it was “ok”. Sure… I’ll come home someday and find a toll gate there! We’ve not been friendly since that day, unfortunately. But long story short, I took out the two overhead doors that were half rotten anyway and boarded up that side of the garage – since I had no easy way to pull my car in without driving on his property – and was always intending to rotate how I drove into the garage by 90 degrees. So now I have a man-door where the car doors were and no way to get a car inside!
When the bank forecloses on it (pretty likely at this point – my small business is tanking after 4 years of scraping by) they are going to scratch their heads and wonder “how did they ever park their cars in there?”
I’ve found keeping a sense of humor has really helped me through some hard times lately.
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@Kevin@OutOfYourRut (#78), thanks for the suggestions. I was planning to pass on any books I buy from now on to friends or take them back to the local secondhand store to exchange them, but Amazon would probably recover more of the cost!
However, I’m going to take the boxes of newly culled books to the op-shop, just to get them out of the house. I still haven’t eBayed the unused Chaco Z2s and leather clutch purse that have been sitting in my bedroom for that purpose since March. Anyone want them?
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Good post!
Just a thought on the papers from your first house: maybe it’s worth allowing yourself to keep some small sentimental items. Years from now you may look back on that and wonder at how cheap it seems, and remember how hard you had to work to get that house, and the good times you had there.
Maybe, like the Rick Steeves one-bag approach, you need to allow yourself one shoebox of sentimental crap that is really just worthless clutter to most people, but to you means something more. Limit this to a single box. If ever you fill it up, it’s time to purge some of the items in it.
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That’s what I wrote too… but in a more practical tone
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If you need some encouragement / reinforcement, I would suggest Don Aslett’s books (Clutter free and Clutter’s last stand come to mind). They’re good at being helpful in the process, and humorous enough to make it a little fun. He’s also really good and drawing the line between treasures with actual sentimental value that make you happy, and clutter that weighs you down, which sounds like a key point here. I kept them by my bed and read a few pages each night – helped get rid of a lot of stuff.
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There is one thing that can give you your energy back – take one thing at a time, breathe consciously and remember all the feelings connected to this thing. Now, keeping conscious breathing, withdraw the energy and emotions you invested in the thing, and disentangle from any energy and emotions that others might project through that thing to you.
Remember about conscious breathing. When you feel that you are now perfectly indiferrent to that thing, you can get rid of it and doing it will not make any bad consequences for you.
In fact, doing it with all the things that you want to get rid of is giving you back your energy and vitality.
I’m not joking
good luck
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