As I search for simplicity in my life, I’ve realized that it’s not just about purging Stuff. Stuff is simply the physical representation of an overall pattern of clutter. In order to accomplish what I want to accomplish, I need to sort and purge the mental mess, too.
Over at Unclutterer yesterday, Erin shared her guide to “having it all”. She explains how she’s able to lead a full life without getting bogged down by Stuff — both physical and mental. Her eleven tips are all worth reading, but they basically boil down to:
- Prioritize. Determine what matters most. Choose the objects and obligations that bring meaning to your life, and make those your focus. Learn to say “no” to the things that don’t matter.
- Minimize. Eliminate the non-essential. Pursue activities that you enjoy and/or that allow you to be productive. “Have the minimum amount of Stuff for you to be comfortable,” Erin writes. Get rid of everything that is toxic in your life.
- Organize. As you reduce your obligations and the things you own, put everything in its place. Create a routine and develop the discipline to stick to that routine. If you take care of the essential, you’ll have time and room for fun without feeling stressed.
- Economize. Following the first three steps ought to reduce your spending. As you continue to simplify, live within your means. Develop a budget. Save for retirement. Buy quality instead of quantity. Be an intelligent consumer.
- Energize. Finally, be industrious. Don’t procrastinate. Pursue your passions with passion. Eat well and get enough rest so that you can work hard — and play hard, too. “Carpe vitam,” Erin says — seize life.
I often wonder how it’s come to this. How did I — a guy who craves a life with little to do — become bogged down by so many obligations? I think the answer is that I’ve found a fulfilling vocation. I feel like I have a purpose. I’m doing something that matters, and so I’m willing to spend most of my time at it.
But there’s only one J.D., and only so much time in each day. If I want to achieve my personal goals (lose weight! learn French!), I need to follow Erin’s advice. I need to prioritize, minimize, organize, and economize so that I can energize my life.
[Unclutterer: Ask Unclutterer: Having it All]
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It’s all about balance. And what gives balance to one person may knock someone else off their equilibrium. Making time for yourself is critical (and something I – and many other stay-at-home-moms – sorely lack.) It takes constant effort to simplify one’s life, especially in today’s society. But that’s not going to stop me from working on it!
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You seem to be pretty stressed lately to be honest. Have you considered a mini vacation before you begin writing your book? Whenever I’m burned out mentally & physically because of school/work full time I realize that I need t a few days away from it all. This is why whenever I get the chance (end of term, winter, etc.) I take off down south for a week. I always come back refreshed and ready to get back to work. Just a thought.
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You seem to be pretty stressed lately to be honest.
Yes. Yes, I do.
But that’s okay. I’ve found that stress brings opportunities to grow. It’s uncomfortable while I’m in the thick of it, but I will adapt and become better for it.
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I couldn’t agree more. While some people are trying to acquire more stuff, I’m frantically trying to get rid of the stuff I have that doesn’t enrich my life. It only serves as a reminder of all the money and time I wasted acquiring it.
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The less we have the happier we are. If you have one pair of jeans, you’ll cherish that one pair like no other compared to having 7 different pairs for example.
Some are blessed with my different options in life. I’d rather have two paths to take instead of 8. At the end of the road, the pot will still be good.
Readers, please come have a look at my new blog, the puts a a little different perspective on personal finance. JD, thanks for all your posts. You’ve inspired me to start my own.
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Hey J.D., as always the topics you present are thought-provoking. I am fortunate that I have known, most of my life, what I absolutely need in order to be balanced … time to myself. I mean alone, with no TV, no radio, no other people around, for at least a half hour a day. I also knew at a very early age that I didn’t want children. Defining that – and taking steps to ensure no “accidents” – helped so much in creating financial, temporal, and geographic freedom in my life.
My tolerance of “stuff” is directly related to how productive I feel. If I am getting projects checked off my list, I don’t mind a little clutter. If I’m feeling frustrated, I go into purge mode!
Regarding weight loss … it really starts with nutrition. Try keeping a food diary for a week (don’t change your usual diet, make no judgements, just write everything down), then look at where you could replace high-calorie foods with lower-calorie, higher-nutrition options. … I haven’t read your fitness blog much, but it does seem you are very running-focused. You may see some rapid results if you completely change your fitness regimen for a couple of months. Good luck!
p.s. plan a trip to a French-speaking country and buy a Rosetta tutorial. you’ll learn French in no time!
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Great post! Over the past year, I’ve cut a lot of things in my life. It’s important that when you do this that you keep in mind why you’re doing it. You don’t want to sacrifice your quality of life just to save a few bucks but suffer in the meantime.
An example… I recently saved and bought a new HDTV for the family instead of going to the show every other week. I also picked up a name brand Blu-Ray player at a tremendous discount. I rent all my Blu-Rays from Netflix for $20 a month and I don’t actually buy any discs other than animated features that I know my son will watch a hundred times. I also sold all my old DVDs on Ebay and received a few hundred dollars to offset the expense.
So, I cut about 100 unwatched DVDs from my household, picked up a BD player, and bought 10 kids films… with no OOP expenses.
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This advice kind of conflicts with the Drug Store Coupon Game (or whatever it’s called).
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Just wanted to say that these are the exact thoughts ive been having the last couple of weeks. Ive been cleaning out alot of unnecessary stuff, given stuff away, cut down on my shopping, eating better and thinking about what i really want out of life. I quit being a sports coach because it isnt important to me anymore and i want to do something for myself instead of doing stuff for others ALL the time. Its really inspiring to read that someone else does kinda the same thing
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My personal experience backs up what you and Ms. Unclutterer are saying here. Less stuff gives us more freedom. When we’re plugged in to our mission and are doing what we love to do, work is not a burden — though we may still feel stressed at times. I’m the happiest now that I’ve ever been (I’m 48) and I work full-time. We’re saving aggressively, yet never feel deprived.
I’ve added a new page with lots of links on more happiness and less consumption. Hope it’s helpful to those interested: http://www.diamondcutlife.org/resources/
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I agree with the balance concept. Parts of life click together, you just have to be quiet at your heart to hear it.
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I am working toward less clutter, but DH is a pack rat, so the kids believe they have the option to be a pack rat. Argh! DH believes in less clutter in theory, but the practice is weak.
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Thanks for a great post…those are wonderful qualities and habits to cultivate.
As I become more energized in my work and in my businesses, I find that increased activity in those areas are not a source of mental or psychic clutter, but rather a positive expression of growth. After much soul searching, I realize that as a personality, I like a lot of activity that I LIKE, rather than the other two options I had been choosing: too much activity that I disliked, or no activity at all!
In other words, simplifying, for me, was not just a matter of emptying my life out of junk that needed purging, but also replacing that clutter with goods or activities I really enjoyed. I don’t mind a bit of complexity and challenge.
Truthfully, I am less Zen-like in nature than I have been aspiring to be; rather, being “detached” was just another ego-chasing label I was trying to emulate. One more thing for the trashcan…out it goes!
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After many moves recently and throwing away items of ridiculously high value considering how broke I am right now, I never thought of applying that to my “mental mess.” I feed like I waste very little time (in other words I don’t watch tv anymore,) I recently have made a concerted effort to be totally focused on what I am doing at the moment. Starting with little things like reading every sentence of news articles and not just skimming them. I find that the harder you force your brain to work, the more responsive it becomes, and the better it becomes at handling a diverse mix of interests.
In other words, purge the unnecessary, and do what you enjoy with full focus and enthusiasm!
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I find that spending too much time on the internet leaves me feeling spent and frustrated that I really didn’t get what I wanted to done.
I read about everyone else doing what they wanted to do while I just read. Get up and move. You don’t have to read 100 blogs daily…it’s okay. Even if your job is related to blogging. It’s no wonder you are feeling frustrated and stressed.
Get out there and do something and then write about it. Not all of us read 100′s of blogs daily and we’ve chosen yours (JD) to read because we like your style and your outlook on life and the fact that you leave politics out of your posts.
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@Becky: I definitely agree with you on how too much time spent on Internet makes one stressful.
I find it difficult to get rid of clutter. I don’t know how to choose what stuff to let go or keep the things that I really need.
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Learning French is easy. Just go and live in France for say, 3 months.
When I was fifteen, I couldn’t really speak any English. My parents suggested that maybe I could go to some English-speaking country for a summer exchange program.
So, when I was sixteen, I spent 4 weeks with a family in LA. After three weeks, I was able to read and speak English quite well.
Fifteen years later my accent I still have an awful accent. But hey, at least I am able to follow your blog and even throw in an occasional comment.
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Erin’s post was one of the most thought-provoking pieces I’ve read recently.
For me, it helps to give myself permission to admit, “I really DON’T care about ______,” especially when it applies to things that others think I *should* care about. I really DON’T care about home holiday decorations, or about popular novels and movies, or about whether my children play sports and take dance lessons. I DO care about creating a feeling of warmth and hospitality in my home, and enriching my brain with good books, and that my children are physically active … but all these things are possible without resorting to the middle-class default ways of doing them.
It also helps to remind myself that a balanced life means adding in good things as well as subtracting out that which is toxic or even just mediocre.
I was heartened by this bit from Erin’s post: “Have you always wanted to learn to play the flute? Get your hands on a flute and start taking lessons. You’ll be really awful those first six months (or year or five), but you’ll never learn to play the flute if you don’t take the chance and try.” I gave singing lessons a go several years ago but got discouraged quickly when I realized just how much practice it would take to improve my abilities. Erin just gave me permission to sound awful for five years if that’s what it takes to add more joy to my life.
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Thanks, JD. I think this boils down some difficult life issues and big questions that many seem to deal with and makes those issues and questions feel more manageable.
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I agree with you 100%. There is more to enjoy and to save in simple things. I do not understand why everyone things we cannot buy things that cheap and yet quality stuff. This is my husband’s view. He thinks if you buy things that are cheap then the quality is not good. Similarly, you enjoy more if you are with family and friends no matter what the activity is. So how does it matter if that activity costs little money.
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@jenzer: “I really DON’T care about home holiday decorations, or about popular novels and movies, or about whether my children play sports and take dance lessons.”
Whew, glad to hear that from someone else. I often feel like a crazy freethinking hippie in the middle of stereotypical suburbia because I don’t participate in most other “ordinary” activites.
I am, however, going to sell the bass guitar. I got it on a whim, but I realized I really *don’t* want to take the time to learn it; I just liked saying I owned one. It’s going right back on Craigslist and decluttering a spot in the room.
@J.D. – Thanks for mentioning Unclutterer.com. It’s one of my daily website feeds (with yours, of course :~), thesimpledollar.com and zenhabits.com.)
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Always a fan of the posts on decluttering and simplicity.
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William Morris said to “have nothing in your life you don’t feel to be beautiful, or know to be useful.”
I have always felt that this was a great guideline for our relationship to “stuff”.
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Thanks for the post.
One thing I truly believe is that hardships and sacrifice make me a better person. The best times of my life have been when I suffered or endured the most.
Having enough money to buy the things I want just makes me fat and lazy. A car keeps me from walking or cycling. A big house makes me want an even bigger house. More electronics and toys make we want the newest and latest gadget.
When I have money I eat more, drink more and buy more. Does it make me a better person? What do you think?
I hate “more”. Growth and self improvement only happen in times of “less.” I need to suffer to improve as a person. Convenience and affluence are the bane of humanity.
The problem with “stuff” is that it consumes mental energy. We shop for, covet, clean, maintain and protect our “stuff.”
Buy a new car and see how much you wash it and care for it. Your didn’t care about your old car, it was already scratched, dented and ready for replacement. But how you care for the new one.
Possess nothing and you do not have to worry about damage or theft. I wonder how much of our time is spent thinking of “stuff?” I imagine it is too much. I can think of some better ways to direct that energy.
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I have too many shoes and too many cloths. Less is more. I wish I didn’t spend so much on watches either. 3 watches for $50,000… i wish i just had one.
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The mental clutter is always the hardest to clear out . . .
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My girlfriend has been talking about how she has too much stuff (still insists she doesn’t have THAT many shoes) and it’s been good to hear. I’m the type of guy who loves being able to fit all his things into his car.
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