to find out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog.

Any responses would be greatly appreciated.

-Mike S.

I’d like to see what happens if you put that research together with these findings. In other words, are you happier buying someone an experience rather than an object?

(Here’s the press release for the study if anyone is interested: http://www.publicaffairs.ubc.ca/media/releases/2008/mr-08-032.html)

I took a trip to Florida a few years ago and it is very memorable. I hadn’t been there before or since. I go to Vegas 1-2 times a year and have been there 1-2 dozen times. Vegas trips are not very memorable for me. I become accustomed to going to Vegas so it doesn’t stand out in my mind as memorable. Its almost routine to go to Vegas.

The material possessions we have are things we become accustomed to having. They are a routine part of our lives. We’re used to it so we don’t think about it. I think the real measure of how much happiness a material item brings you is whether or not you’d sell the item to pay for for an experience.

The point I make to my clients is that in MOST cases, people end up tied to the costs of their possessions that do NOT drive happiness and ultimately, fulfillment. They drive the BMW and Lexus to primarily “keep up with the Joneses”. The problem is, the monthly cost of owning these cars gets in the way of many EXPERIENCES they’d like to have also…that would provide much greater fulfillment.

I walk clients through 3 questions, taken from “Your Money or Your Life” (JD is a huge fan also!):
1) Does this expense provide fulfillment?
2) Is this expense in alignment with my core values and what’s most important?
3) If I was already Financially Independent, how would this expense change, or differ?

These 3 questions provide amazing clarity on if you’re spending money on the right things! I use them everyday personally.

1) How many pleasant experiences do you remember from your childhood?

2) How many really fun toys do you remember having during childhood?

Might help to determine if you’re a things person, or an experiences person, if in fact either is a personality type at all.

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If we’re saying that paying for cars gives us both material and experiential happiness, it is of course a HUGE YES!

Not only does owning my cars make me happy (And owning them with almost no loans. Two out of three aren’t financed, and those are the two more expensive…) but they give me a TON of chances to be social with other car guys and such.

Material goods aren’t bad, but having this combination makes my life great. My house stays relatively clutter free, and spending money on our cars doesn’t take up any extra space and gives us more to talk to others about.

The other experience/stuff thing that I also like are my tattoos. You can consider it an experience, but one that leaves a visible permanent mark. (So you get to do something & get something to point to and keep.) I’ve spent a ton of money on my tattoos & my piercings, but wouldn’t take it back at all. Still not as much as on my cars, but it’s part of what defines me as me, and that’s always worth it.

There are lots of things you can do for free that make for just as nice experiences. A lazy day in the park with my boyfriend and a picnic is as memorable to me as the first time I went to Disney World. It all depends on perspective.

On the other hand there are some purchases that I have made that have brought me more happiness than a trip ever could. A great example would be my cats. They were bought and paid for and 3 are still an expense to keep up. The memories I have now formed with them have been some of my most loved experiences.

I guess the rule is it doesn’t matter whether experiences make you happy or things. Just be happy.

As someone who just went Skydiving yesterday (woot woot!) I’d have to agree whole heartedly. Looking at what we spent on paper, $200 each for the dive, a full tank of gas to drive up there, tolls for the highway, cost of food, etc. one could maybe look at those numbers and cringe. But the feeling I now get from saying I did it and I survived! it’s worth so much more than was spent on the trip. And I wouldn’t change it for anything!

hehehe. E=mc^2. Right on.

However I don’t think that was QUITE the point .

And, genuinely, I don’t remember much about them at all. Barbados in particular – we visited some caves, took a submarine ride around a shipwreck, and attended a cultural cabaret evening; two years later I was chatting with a friend who was also there and I found I’d forgotten about all these things. I hate to think of the thousands I’ve spent on experiences that have evaporated within a matter of months. Worse is the fact that the actual act of travelling is so dull, and a delayed flight home might be the only thing I remember once some time has passed.

The only exception I can think of is running with the bulls in Pamplona, which I’ll always remember.

Some (not all) of my material possessions, however, have been making me happy for years. I love my leather sofa, I love my Italian fridge, I love my Bosch lawnmower, I love my Cuisinart food processor and my Sabatier knives. Every time I use any one of those things, I’m glad I spent a little extra on them.

I think this is as it should be because life is what we do with it (experiences) and not what we have (things).

Experiences are typically the same way. If you ride a roller coaster a dozen times, the novelty is gone, and the experience suffers. If you go as an adult to the same place you vacationed as a kid, chances are the experience won’t be the same because the place is not likely to live up to your memories of it.

Add in that we tend to recall the “highs” out of most experiences, and conviently suppress the “lows”, and it makes sense that the experience brings back better and stronger memories of happiness than possessions. I also feel we tend to polish that “high” to make it even better when we tell folks about the experience because there isn’t a solid physical link forcing the reality back into our minds. So you’ll likely “mute” the memory of the nasty sunburn on your ears and multitude of bug bites since you forgot the sunscreen and insect repellant, because the actual white water rafting event was such a “high” and will be what you focus on when you talk about the experience to others. Or just as simple, you overlook the hours taken to get to a concert, hassle in parking, crowds and lines through the doors and into the arena, and then hours of boredom waiting for the band to show, all for 60-90 minutes (if you’re lucky) of show. Meanwhile, that high you felt when you got that great piece of art you bought two years ago and thought was so cool just doesn’t reoccur when you happen to look at the item, partly because your “memory” of it is forced back to the reality of it when you see it again. If you’re lucky, you have a fond satisfaction, but hardly a “wow” when you look at it anymore.

However, I’ve also gone to Toronto and the ocean with my friends this year, and I think those things will stick with me much longer than the TV.

Being a little materialistic isn’t bad, but ultimately it’s the things you do that matter most.

When it comes down to paying for happiness, I’d rather pay for good memories of wonderful experiences.

I remember talking with a lady here in Poland who had no running water or toilet inside her apartment. (If she wanted it, she had to put in the plumbing herself–the gov’t doesn’t pay for it even though it is gov’t housing). She was saving for a vacation. I remember thinking that if I had been in her situation, with kids, I’d prefer to forgo the vacation and get the indoor running water. Why? Because once you have the water, then life is easier “every day” and your vacation will be over after one week.

So, we did that. We did forgo vacations for years while building our house, trying to finish it up (out of pocket). Now, we can take vacations–at least more often than before. The house is paid for. I couldn’t understand going away for a vacation if I didn’t have hot water in my house (with 5 kids). It was a matter of priorities.

Once the basics of life are covered, I agree completely–experiences are great. But, until you have the basics covered in the place where you live, experiences are just ‘escapes’ from your daily hardships. For me it was more important to release pressure on the bottom line of daily life–far more than any vacation. So, I needed “stuff”–kitchen cabinets, pots, pans, hot water, flooring, even a few decorations for the walls, etc. Now I have the stuff in place–I want a vacation and I want to travel–not just stay home.

This may not apply to any Americans, because the standard of living is different there, but over here, where many people live without running water and yet go on yearly vacations…hmm. I simply don’t ‘get it’.

In my case, I have to consider the fact that experiences are great for the moment; but since I have a very weak, nearly non-existant, long-term memory, the happiness an experience might give me at the moment will be lost before too long…while some material purchases give me happiness for years and years. For me, though, it’s about making wise choices and making sure that I am selective about my material purchases, so that I don’t end up buying lots of useless crap that gives me no happiness whatsoever.

Some material purchases which have been worth their weight in gold:
- My pets…every single one of them
- My house
- My wonderful new corner sofa which allows my whole family to comfortably lounge and watch movies together
- A vintage wooden puzzle from the 70s for my son — I used to have the same puzzle when I was his age

“Making Memories” is a nice concept; but I can honestly say in my case that it’s pretty hard to do that. That said, I do enjoy living in the moment, and I do still value experiences — not necessarily more than material purchases though.

http://fi-movement.typepad.com/the_financial_independenc/2009/07/possessions-vs-experiences.html

YES. They do. It only took me 40+ years and a house full of stuff I no longer am interested in to figure that one out.