This is a guest post from Robert Brokamp of The Motley Fool. Robert is a Certified Financial Planner and the advisor for The Motley Fool’s Rule Your Retirement service. He contributes one new article to Get Rich Slowly every two weeks. (And note that this post is much less controversial than yesterday’s!)
Let’s face it: Most of us weren’t born eager to delay gratification, invest in IRAs, diversify our assets, and give a hoot about personal finances whatsoever. If you told me back in high school that I was going to be a financial writer, I would have laughed with gusto and perhaps a little dread. (I get the same reaction nowadays when I tell people that back in high school, I wanted to be a priest.)
However, something happened to you, and you decided to take control. Otherwise, why would you be reading this website (other than a weird obsession with turtle logos)?
For me, it was being a teacher making $20,000 a year while living in Washington, D.C. (No, this wasn’t the 1970s, but the mid-1990s.) And I knew I had to be smart with every penny. I checked out books like Personal Finance for Dummies from the library, and a whole new world opened up. I asked myself again and again, “Why didn’t anyone teach me this stuff?!”
So that’s my story. What’s yours? What got you to change? I’m really curious, because I think identifying those motivators/triggers/kick-in-the-butters (whatever you want to call them) is key to getting more people to take their personal finances seriously.
Not that I don’t have some ideas. Last year, we solicited ideas from the readers of our Rule Your Retirement service. Several of their responses are below, grouped according to a general principle behind their transformations. (As is Motley Fool custom, I’ve used their discussion board nicknames rather than their real names.) See if you don’t recognize yourself in some of their stories.
Contemplation
Sometimes just thinking about the future will get someone to change. That’s what happened to RnRretirerican. She wrote:
One day you’re hurtling along the madness that is the everyday, and something happens that makes you slow down a little — read the fine print, breathe deeply, and wonder about it all. For me, it was the realization that although being a parent is my proudest achievement to date, one day it will be just my husband and me at home. We had spent years … ensuring that the futures of our children would be bright, but what about our future?
So RnRretirerican began educating herself about investing. Her husband had handled most of the investment decisions up until then, but a demanding job limited his time. The result: “I decided that I could help do the investigating and that together … we could make our retirement stellar, rather than stale.”
Pain or Despair
Unfortunately, a really bad experience is perhaps the number one reason people change course. Often that experience involves a “financial advisor” who is really just a salesperson. Fool reader Scottyzee wrote: “We decided to put our money in the hands of professionals. … This leading brokerage firm lost it all. … Now I do my own research and make my own decisions and sleep a little better at night.”
Even hiring friends doesn’t always work out, as pepperidgetrln found out. She was “panicked” about what to do with an old 401(k). A friend’s husband offered to help.
“I figured he really must be doing me a favor as he was used to dealing with much larger accounts,” she wrote. “So, I invested in whatever he recommended and was grateful for what I considered the ‘free’ advice.” Of course, the advice wasn’t really free — the costs were just buried. “The mutual funds he recommended were all high-fee, actively managed funds with loads. I think some even charged 12b-1 fees!” (A 12b-1 fee is an annual marketing fee added to the cost of owning a mutual fund.)
Of course, pepperidgeltrln was probably correct in assuming that her advisor friend was used to dealing with large accounts; many advisors require high minimum investments. F4Phanatic’s advisor required at least $80,000. He decided to hire the advisor, but also manage some of the money himself. “My financial advisor is still the same guy,” he writes. “I rub it in about how I’m beating his performance.”
Not that getting a financial advisor is a bad thing. Just make sure you get the right one. Start by checking out the Garrett Planning Network, an international group of fee-only planners.
Belief That Change Is Possible
Reader smoothk came to The Motley Fool a decade ago, ready and raring to buy stocks. But after reading the personal finance area of the site, he realized he first had to eliminate his tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt. “It was then that I became dedicated — no, committed — to eliminating my debt and never getting in debt again,” he wrote. “That was my one and only financial goal.”
He and his wife are now debt-free except for a mortgage, their cars are paid for, they’ve opened college savings accounts for their kids, and smoothk is contributing 6% to his 401(k). “It has taken us about 10 years to reach this point. Actually, that’s far less than originally planned because every bit of extra money we could muster to pay off that debt load was used! We are so glad we did!”
Dedication to Action
For Darwood11, the painful event that prompted his turnaround was a divorce. “Nearly broke and facing bankruptcy,” he writes, “I started over.” He began his self-education by reading all he could about retirement planning, then inputting his numbers in worksheets and financial calculators.
“It had taken me about 35 years to get to that place in my circuitous financial planning journey,” he wrote. “However, something reached critical mass and within two years I had created and implemented a completely new plan that incorporated better funds, substantially better asset allocation, some dividend-paying stocks, an emergency fund, and a CD ladder.”
What About You?
So go ahead. Tell your story in the “comments” box below, and give us your theory on what would get more people to get their acts together. I’ll summarize the results in my next GRS missive.
This article is about Ask the Readers, Planning, Psychology, Real-Life, Retirement





If you’re only talking in a financial sense, for me there was a “rock bottom” moment. For years I’d kept just enough of a handle on my finances that I felt in control, despite the fact that I was stupidly carrying cc debt. But one day I made a mistake in calculating my balance, and hit my limit. The card was denied, and I felt mortified. Pretty much all the positive changes that I’ve made, from working to eliminate the debt to educating myself by reading PF blogs traces back to that moment.
But in other aspects of my life, I’ve made major changes after simply feeling a dissatisfaction for a while. For example, I’d always naturally been in good shape without a whole lot of effort. After I had my son, I lost most of the pregnancy weight, and people said I looked wonderful, but I just wasn’t happy with the state of my body. So I eventually just started working out to get back in shape and increase my endurance. There was never a shocking “OMG! How could I let this get so bad moment”, but more of a “Hmm, if things are at this level right now with no effort, I wonder how good they’d get with a little bit more?”
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For me, my light-bulb moment was the second day on my very first job as a lawyer. I despised everything about it and knew I had to find a way to get out. I was only 24, but I soon learned enough to use that big salary to max out all my retirement accounts, save an extra 30% on top of that, and pay off my student loans in 5 years. I’m in good shape to cut the cord soon, and I’m thrilled that I learned about personal finance so early.
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My moment came while reading Total Money Makeover. I was serving in the military making barely any money with a c.c. balance and large car payment. I poured through that book in a day and started on our journey to debt freedom. Except for the mortgage, we have been debt free for two years and loving every minute of it.
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To be honest, I just kinda fell into the whole finance thing, never really thinking too much about it… And now I’m a Finance major, looking to become a CFP myself.
I would have never, ever thought it was something I would do, let alone enjoy… But the planning and the goal setting, and the eventual sense of accomplishment and achievement, have become so ingrained in me that I’d love to help other people live their dreams too! While I’m not *entirely* living my dream life, we do have a wonderful project car we wouldn’t have been able to take on had we not had our financial house in order.
I started reading tons of finance articles, financial blogs and started my own PF blog to help motivate me to kick $5k worth of consumer debt. Other than student loans and an itty bitty car note to build credit, we’re free from debt woes. (Loans are necessary in my case, and the car loan is to build credit. I’m 21 years old and need it!)
So really, I never had one, “Aha!” moment about it all. It was more of a “Hmmmm, if they can do it, I bet I can too.” Not only did we pay off our consumer debt, but I managed to pay cash for the Mac Book I bought roughly six months after I started my own little financial path. While I don’t blog about finances all the time anymore, I do get to blog about my passion without so much fretting over the dollars and cents of everything.
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For me, it was meeting the woman of my dreams and getting married. With that came the responsibility of providing for her – it wasn’t just MY needs, but hers too.
The thought of putting her future in jeopardy due to my lack of planning and thought was too much, so I made a plan to educate myself.
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I was in the same boat as Cara above. I was working a job that paid well out of school but didn’t particularly enjoy it. I was lured by the prospect of a fat investment account, thinking that would throw off extra cash (I hadn’t yet learned of tax incentives). I also figured that since I had read some stuff online about how to invest I was invincible. I sagely invested my first chunk of money in 2006 when the market began the eventual slide down to the bottom. As I saw my money slip away I realized I better learn some new stuff fast. I hit up my local library and found all of the classics on investing. From there it was only a matter of time to realize that if I spent less, I could save more. I continued on to personal finance and eventually GRS. I’m not there yet, but I’m on my way to improving my finances to where I would like them to be. And it’s the journey that counts.
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“Not that getting a financial advisor is a bad thing. Just make sure you get the right one. Start by checking out the Garrett Planning Network, an international group of fee-only planners.”
Whoa whoa whoa, hang on a second here. You are doing a MAJOR disservice to your readers by blurring the line between “financial advisor” and “financial planner.” They are two COMPLETELY different things, yet in this sentence, you imply that they’re the same. They most definitely are not.
A “financial advisor” is the friendly guy who will meet with you for free, in your own home, whenever it’s convenient for you, including evenings and weekends. He doesn’t charge you anything, and “helps” you make sure you pick the right mutual funds (limited, of course, to those offered by his company). He also “helps” you make sure you have adequate life insurance, disability insurance, long term care insurance, critical illness insurance, and whatever other overpriced, fee-laden garbage he can sell you. They are NOT helping you. They make their money by selling you mutual funds and insurance that are heavily laden with expensive fees, but it’s not in YOUR best interest. Thus, they operate in a perpetual conflict of interest.
A “financial planner,” on the other hand, is an actual certified, regulated professional with a real office. You meet with them during regular business hours, and they charge you an hourly fee. They don’t make any commission or kickbacks from any of the products they recommend to you, and in fact often, you CAN’T buy funds and insurance through them. They simply tell you what you SHOULD buy, then it’s up to you to go and buy it from a reputable third-party (Vanguard, Fidelity, whoever). They make their money solely from the hourly fee you pay them. Thus, there is no conflict of interest.
They are definitely NOT the same.
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Honestly? I don’t know.
I guess I’m luckier than a lot of people here – my parents instilled me with a lot of sound financial sense and it actually stuck. I think a lot of it comes from having a lot of responsibility at an early age (I was helping to run the house for months at a time at age seven when my mother was stuck in hospital with my severely ill bro).
I also think that it’s my stubborn streak though. I know that my parents could (and would) help me out if I got into money trouble. But I know that if I did, it would be my own stupid fault, because I should know better, because they’ve taught me how not to get into debt. So I’m frugal, and careful, and take great pride in telling my father that yes, my finances are Just Fine thanks
Although, of course, I could always save more…
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Divorce. Lost all my money and stuff and got custody of three kids (complicated story). Luckily I have always been averse to debt unless it’s a matter of survival (couldn’t say the same for former spouse), and I had a decent-paying job with benefits. I had to learn a lot and learn it fast to get back on my feet. It took a few years, but it was worth the struggle, and now things just keep getting better.
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I third Cara’s post. Throughout university, I had some money from an inheritance that got me through my studies. Then I graduated into a 60+ hours job (also as a lawyer). Even though it came with a very good salary, I realized that I would have to work very hard for that salary, and that the days of sleeping in on a weekday, scheduling lectures to have a long weekend, etc. were over. I read everything on personal finance I could find, from the Millionaire Next Door, Your Money or Your Life, the Tightwad Gazette, and this blog and made sure to save as much money as I possibly could. Unfortunately, parents these days are great at encouraging/pushing kids to succeed in their careers and earn a lot of money, but nobody ever instills the idea that not spending a lot of money is simply the easier solution.
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For us it is the imminent arrival of our first child. Suddenly everything that we though was so important is starting to fade. Now, we’re trying to make sure we can provide for a child and for ourselves when we’re older. It’s not just about the two of us anymore.
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I got engaged and started thinking about my long-term future seriously for the first time. I had a graduate degree that wracked up some serious student loans and when we moved in together increased my credit card debt with some dumb purchases.
My “Aha” moment came when I played with a debt to income calculator to determine if we could qualify for a mortgage. And we couldn’t.
Suddenly I realized that all these dreams that I had – having a family, buying a home, buying a vacation home – were not possible with my debt and I kicked into action. After a year and half, we’re about halfway to eliminating our debt and I can foresee being able to start to make our long term goals happen within the next 4 years.
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All it took for me was making one long term goal, doing some quick math, and realizing that if I didn’t change SOMETHING, I was NEVER going to get there.
I never had a problem with debt. I never spent more than I earned, and I didn’t buy a lot of useless stuff, but I had a few hobbies that I would fritter my money away on to support. Once I realized I had goals beyond next month, the idea of planning became a bit more important and the planning lead to the realization that I could not remain on the same path and ever realize my goals.
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JD, like you, my epiphany came when I was making less than $30k per year in the 1990s and I thought to myself that I could do better (based on those around me making twice what I was making because they had college degrees). I continued working full-time and went back to school full time for the next six years, finishing a BS, and two MS degrees. The salary went up by only $20k at first, but then exploded as I worked and gained experience at the higher level job the degrees qualified me for. Now I’m debt-free (other than my mortgage, on which I am not upside down even though I bought – at auction – in 2007), and am saving hard for retirement (while also enjoying the fruits of my labor to keep my family happy today).
So, not wanting to settle for less than I could be… That’s what got me moving and working hard for 10 years to achieve overnight success.
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For me it was throwing off the idea I had picked up growing up, which I will summerize as ‘poorliness is next to godliness’ and ‘I have money (for the first time in my life!), I should be able to afford this’. I had (and still have) a great paying job right out of college, but I was living pay check to pay check with a house loan, car loan, student loan and CC balance I was struggling more and more to pay off every month.
All the worrying over how to make the ends meet led me to realize that I was frittering away my money in an effort to make sure I fit into the mold I had seen growing up (think:good, ‘god fearing’ people, just getting by, and trusting god would make it all work out). My ideaology was all flawed, and it was really adversely affecting my financial future.
Facing, and changing that ideaology, along with reading lots of financial books, and following the Total Money Makeover’s debt snowball turned it all around for me. I still struggle with the old ideas occasionally, but for the most part, I’m in control and following my plan.
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I never married, so being a single female, it has always been quite clear that I am solely responsible for my financial wellbeing.
I always earned a living as a writer, but i credit my first job writing for a mutual fund wholesaler with really solidifying for me the importance of retirement planning.
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If you think about it, one of the BEST EVENTS to change people’s financial habits is the stock market meltdown, and real estate collapse over the past 18 months! Only through getting obliterated due people understand their own RISK.
The nation’s savings rate is now positive for the first time in a long while. Poorer people aren’t buying real estate with no money down anymore, esp if there’s no money in the bank. Lending by banks is more responsible, and all the good is returning.
My ‘aha’ moment was when I finally breached 7 figures in my bank account just in savings. I realized then I could actually retire early, and on my own terms. At 45, I’m out of the rat race.
If you’re under 40, now is the best time to be alive!
Keigu,
Shogun
Slicing Through Money’s Mysteries
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I worked at a credit union in college and we had tables showing the time value of money to encourage customers to invest in retirement accounts. The tables compared how much money you’d have if you invested $1,000 every year for 40 years to what you’d have if you invested $2,000 for 20 years and other scenarios. Seeing those made it obvious why I should start saving as early as possible in a way that my Dad’s lectures on savings never did. I also got to play with early software (this was the late 1980s) for loan amortization and interest calculations so I was able to see how expensive borrowing could be long before I ever borrowed a dime.
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When I finished school, having taken out student loans and a car loan and many times used my credit card to pay the rent, I cobbled together two or three jobs that more or less pointed me toward the sort of career I wanted (teacher, writer, editor, etc.). Those years were financially mindless: I wasn’t making a lot of money, expenses were high, and I continued to get into and out of credit card debt without too much thought. My annual income was pretty unstable, but I managed to keep a roof over my head, make my monthly loan payments, and have a little left over for play.
My epiphany came just a couple of years ago, when I was doing my tax return. Comparing past returns, I realized my income had been steadily climbing over the years, and I’d just had the best financial year of my life, with earnings well above any previous year. And because my car and student loans had long been paid off and my income tax and insurance costs had dropped because of a move to a new state, there was even more money potentially to hand. Yet I had nothing to show for that great year: I was still living paycheck to paycheck.
It was a hard lesson in lifestyle inflation and delayed maturity. I realized that as my expenses had dropped over the years and my income grew, I was just finding new things to spend the money on — mostly books, but also pretty much anything I took a fancy to. And I was approaching 40 but still thinking of myself as a kid who would one day get her act together.
I took a few days to think things over, and then came up with a set of spending rules and saving goals for the coming year. Since then, I’ve had to adjust them several times to get the mix right, but overall it’s been a successful venture. And I’m astounded at how quickly the savings have accumulated.
The big ‘payoff’ happened this year (is happening now, in fact), when a problem getting a contract executed meant I didn’t receive a paycheck for four months. Two years ago, I would have been in big trouble and probably would have gone into credit card debt or borrowed from my family to keep going. Instead, I was able to rely on this newfangled thing called an emergency fund to keep the bills paid while the contract got sorted out.
It’s been an enlightening experience, to say the least.
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I had been taught wise money stewardship during my first few years of college by a good friend and mentor. His best advice was “for two years after college, live like a pauper. Pretend you are still on a college budget, and save 1/2 to 2/3 of your income.” Since he was addressing co-eds, this was appropriate advice. Well, my moment was a culmination of the first year out of college. I am a software engineer and make pretty good pay, but we were living paycheck to paycheck anyway. We bought a car (MINI Cooper, no less), and started buying lots of furniture for our large apartment, and then went to a realtor. That scared the crap out of me, given our hand-to-mouth lifestyle at the time. The other aspect was that I read Robert Kiyosaki’s “Rich Dad” and couldn’t shake the feeling that there had to be a better way. We abandoned the house hunt due to anxiety, I pulled out my materials from my friend, and later that year someone gave me Ramsey’s “Total Money Makeover”.
It was interesting looking back at how much lifestyle inflation occurred in my life when I was trained to (and trying to) look for and avoid it.
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Though I don’t have any debt aside from my mortgage and $3,500 on my car, that’s only because I cut up my credit card. I’ve been as deep as $25,000 in debt plus $40,000 in student loans and a $16,000 car loan. An inheritance cleared it all — barely — and made me realize that I needed to shape up.
And yet I couldn’t, and still struggle. The latest (and I hope last) wake-up call for me was having a slow leak in one of my tires and no money to replace it. I commute to work every day on the freeway, and was terrified of having an accident. Humiliated, I had to call the credit card company and have them send a copy of that card I’d cut up. That’s right — not a dime for an emergency fund. This came after a whole series of weeks when I had trouble buying food or gas because I squandered each paycheck within days of getting it.
This month, I’ve done things differently. I went to the website Take Back Your Brain (which, I think, has been recommended here), and put together an advertising campaign for myself. I blogged it and posted it everywhere I could think of, including sending myself text messages. I’ve also instituted a policy of reciting the Lord’s Prayer before any discretionary purchase. That, combined with reading Mary Hunt’s Debt-Proof Living, has put me on the straight and narrow for now. I just hope I can make it last.
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I finally woke up to taking responsibility for my finances when two husbands (yes, two!) both screwed up bad and destroyed my credit. One let our house go into foreclosure after not paying the mortgage for 6 months without telling me (this was after the divorce) and it was I who had to find the lawyer (from out of state) and make all the arrangements for the bank to take the house back “in leiu of foreclosure” (which still mars the credit report.) Then hubbie #2 (who is also now an ex) blew his credit up and because we were married at the time, and I had been a stay-at-home mom for 5 years (after working my whole life) my credit was basically brought back to zero as a result. Since eschewing husbands, I have taken my own finances very seriously. I pay for everything (on a secretary’s salary), receive no alimony or child support for my two kids and contribute to my retirement. I am constantly broke, there is nothing with which to build up an “emergency fund” (after all, each day is an emergency)and will likely never be able to buy my own home, but I pay my bills on time and manage. Lesson learned: Money, like birth control, is something that one should NEVER rely on the other person to “take care of it!” While I still daydream about some rich suitor coming to rescue me from my austere life, I am honestly grateful to be handling everything myself. It is never a good idea to give your power away and assume (hope) that everything will be “happily ever after.”
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I’m about to be a father. We need to move out of the one bedroom co-op. The cost of a new home with more rooms means moving further from my job, and a longer commute means less family time. We have a lot of debt (school loans, mortgage, home equity loan) and we live hand to mouth. If we throw another life form into the mix it becomes even harder. My uncle raised three kids, sent them all to college, bought a house, and retired comfortably after a career as a technician with a telephone company. I know there’s a better way to live and provide for my child so now I’m learning what I need to do.
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My reason was my fiance.
Prior to getting engaged I was a bit of a financial mess. No investments, minimal cash reserves, a maxed out credit card around $12K and over $50K in debt from school. I had no control over my spending, and in fact had no idea where I spent my money on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis.
When we got engaged we came up with a plan to get my spending under control and my debt paid down. Well, that didn’t go well. My rock bottom came in the car, on the highway, when my fiance asked me how things were going. I couldn’t lie to her and broke down into tears, told her that I had let her down and that I had to change. She was disappointed because I had promised to change my ways, but was committed to help me out.
The both of us committed to spending only cash, no debit or credit (if at all possible, any expenditures on credit needed to be paid off). While she didn’t need to do this, since she was (and still is) very good with her money, she did this for moral support. She told me that if I committed to paying off my debt that she would commit her money to savings.
I put myself on a strict cash budget of $800/mo, including my transportation and food costs. I still had to keep to my other monthly payments, like cell phone, car lease (I know, bad), insurance, etc. Any money that was left over at the end of the month would be sunk into paying off my debt.
This was in February that we came up with this and I can proudly say that I have stuck with the cash budget since then. I’ve managed to pay off the credit card debt and right now I’m socking away my money to pay for wedding related expenses. This is the longest that I’ve ever stuck with a plan like this, so with my fiance’s support I think I can carry on.
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For me it was a large pay increase. I’ve been a broke student every since I graduated from high school working my way through two bachelor’s degrees and a master’s degree. When I started my PhD last year I was awarded a very generous three-year fellowship. I’ve always been pretty good with money, no cc debt, and I could save up for short-term goals. But I had no money saved for the long-term. I realized that I didn’t want to waste this extra money on things that didn’t matter (what I now know is lifestyle inflation). I needed some sort of plan, so I started reading personal finance books and learning the basics of budgeting and saving. I continued to live like a broke grad student and set up automatic payments to a savings account and mutual funds. In the last year I went from having no long-term savings to just over $20K. Some people I’ve told this to tell me that it is too much–that I don’t need to save so much for my retirement right now–but I wanted to start saving early in order to take advantage of compounding. In the next couple years I can work towards other goals, such as an emergency fund and a down payment for a house. For me this whole process has given me a greater sense of control over my life.
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I remember that day like it was yesterday – For me the turning point was when my son was born. I had to take him to the emergency room in the middle of the night and could not even pay the $100.00 co-pay for the emergency room visit. I had to give them a post dated check. Since then I decided, that would never happen to me again. I had to have a plan and I did. Today am happy to state that I have paid off my cc debt over a period of 2 years (my son is now 3) and I have a good EF and contributing towards retirement. Of course I had to make drastic changes but that moment to me was the eye opener. Blogs like this one and the simple dollar and other finance websites have helped me through out the way.
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I graduated from grad school with lots of debt but also, for the first time ever, a well-paying job. Finally I felt like I was in a stable state and could stop living paycheck to paycheck. So now I’m determined: I want to pay off my debt ASAP, save like a maniac for the future, and live reasonably.
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After grad school, the wedding, and a move to DC, we were making more money than we ever dreamed (75k combined), enjoying our apartment and the city life. And going deeper into debt every month. How was that possible? That led to some sleepless nights, during one of which I google searched for financial awareness tools or something and found GRS, Total Money Makeover, etc. Thus began my education. Your Money or Your Life was the big smack in the face for me.
I realized that we had no idea where our money was going and started tracking it, then started budgeting, then started digging out. We’re still doing all of those things, but with a plan and without anxiety.
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One word: widowhood.
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When starting undergrad I had some money saved up, some scholarships, and limited assistance from my parents. I felt so overwhelmed with the new experiences of college that I didn’t want to have to undertake trying to understand all the implications of different student loan options. At that point I decided it would just be easier to manage my existing money, work during the year & summers, and continue to apply for more scholarships. I came close to having no money a few times at the beginning of a spring semester (after paying for tuition) but I knew if I managed what little I had that I could make it last and build up enough to pay for the next semester. This started my habit of saving for things I wanted and really keeping an eye on how/where I spent my money. I happily managed to make it out without any loans and evolved a budgeting system that worked for me.
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I don’t have any story but the idea of being financially independent on my own for my first time and listening to stories of those who have been through my situation just hit me and made me think big picture. With no debt I have become very alert with saving in a Roth IRA and having a general mutual fund for 10+ years when I will need it more.
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For me, it was when my truck finally died and I had to get a new car. Starting college, I had about $40,000 from my years raising hogs in 4-H. My college was all paid for by my parents and grandmother. 6 years, a BS and Master’s degree later, I had maybe $10,000. My rent, food, utilities during that time had all been paid for by my parents, as well as clothing (I didn’t spend much), and all the other stuff like movies, video games, computer equipment, bars, and such were paid by me. That’s where my money went. My spending didn’t really improve after college, as I landed a job almost immediately, and I was making more money than I had made at any other job I had had before (which wasn’t really saying much). I got a big-ass TV, still bought games and movies, and it seems almost every day half the office would go to some restaurant for lunch. I eventually lost that job, but soon got another. I was more or less on the same course, until a little over a year ago my truck died for good.
About a week later, my first solo car-buying experience found me the owner of a late-model Ford Escape. I had paid $5000 down, and had a loan for the rest. This took a big chunk out of my savings, but it didn’t really hit me until I discovered I owed about $2000 in taxes because my job wasn’t withholding enough from my paycheck. That left me with only a few thousand left, which was alarming. And with that my life of frugality began. I’m slowly building up my savings (although it took another hit last this year at tax time, they still didn’t withhold enough), I’m contributing to an IRA, funding a 401(k) with matching, making regular car payments (for the first year I frequently overpaid to decrease the principal, now I owe around $9000, and in an emergency I could go for almost an entire year before I owe another payment). I’m also living without things I never thought I could live without before.
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I think I’ve sort of always been interested in personal finance. When I was growing up, my grandpa (who was someone I admired very much), had his own business. It was pretty successful (asphalt company, in business for 26 years, then sold for a fair amount), and he was a pretty frugal guy, for a lot of reasons I guess. He grew up during the great depression and had values that didn’t change with time. When people would say, your grandpa is so thrifty, or something of that nature, it made me curious about why. He was a quiet guy, but he would say that when you’re running a business, things can go sour at any time – you need to make sure there’s plenty of extra fuel in the tank.
I think wanting to be like him (and recognizing that his way was one that worked) is what got me started in personal finance. Other people I admire (mentors, if you will), have fortified that interest.
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My “wake-up” was about 5 years after starting my career. My wife at the time (ex-wife now) and I were arguing about money, we did this often. I think one month we had a really high credit card bill or something. I realized at that point we both had good jobs but were living paycheck to paycheck. After 5 years of working, I had basically nothing but a few grand in my 401(k) to show for it. I wanted to sell the house, pay off our debts and start over. She didn’t.
We ended up getting divorced a short time later. I was also laid off and moved back in with my parents for a short time at the age of 25. I lost my wife, my job and my house in the course of about 2 months. I vowed to make dramatic change in my financial life. I started reading personal finance books and scouring the web for info. 6 years later, we have no debt except our mortgage, a great wife that shares my financial goals and an amazing son. We just bought a fantastic new home last month and have an emergency fund in place should something happen. It’s weird…once that weight of debt was lifted off me, it just seems like saving was so easy.
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I had my wake up call early in my life when my mom was divorced by my father. She entered the marriage at a young age and focused her energies on motherhood (work that is completely undervalued!). When she was divorced, she was left with nothing and basically had to start her life over again.
That taught me to be a financially independent woman. I always pay myself first and invest in my IRA religiously. I do as much financial reading as I can, and try to be proactive. My partner and I talk about finances and saving for long-term goals rather than letting thing slide or not discussing them at all.
I feel grateful to have learned from the struggles of my mother, and I hope that as she ages, I can care for her as she cared for me.
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I like turtles!
My cousin (who now works for Goldman Sachs 0_0) pointed me in the right direction by advising me to approach all financial matters with some skepticism and recommended a couple books about investing.
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I’ve paid my own way since turning 18, and had been struggling financially through college. I racked up credit card debt and medical expenses due to being laid off twice after starting fresh in the IT field (Due to company cutbacks). At 21, I found a great paying salary IT job with benefits, all without even having my degree yet. However, my spending inflated, and I was stuck in the same boat.
After a little over a half year, beginning 2009, I realized that I wasn’t getting anywhere. I had always somewhat expected someone to assist me through the tough years, but my parents aren’t very good supporters financially or mentally. So I realized that it was up to me to make sure that I have a secure future.
I joined my company 401k and maxed the company match. Also, in four months I paid off all my credit cards, past due bills, and medical expenses. All I have left is my student loans. Now I am saving up money in various emergency funds, along with saving $3k to start a Roth IRA. I have also saved up money to buy a house, and will be closing shortly. I just recently started budgeted myself $100 a week for gas, food, and entertainment, which is actually working very well. I am easily able to cook for myself for under $50 a week, versus spending hundreds going out, which was one of my final week points.
At 22, I am thankful to say that I got my head in the game at an early age.
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A mentor. An ex-boss with whom I still kept in contact said to me, “Thomas, you need to start thinking about these things.” The “you’re-not-getting-any-younger” speech also helped. I just wish he had been around to give the “you-need-to-start-while-your-young” speech.
He had a financial advisor he’d been using for years and was very happy with. I went to see her, and wow, what a difference that first year made just to have someone to guide me and to report to on occasion.
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The more I used computers, the more I would try to get rid of paper. I went to so far as to take all my credit card statements and enter the monthly balances, finance charges and payments into Excel. As I looked back over the previous years, with finance charges totaling thousands of dollars, I suddenly felt very foolish and wasteful! Why was I wasting all this money on high interest credit cards?
So the very next step was to figure out which order to pay them off in… debt snowball or highest interest first. I created a new spreadsheet with those balances and charges and payments, but this time looking forward, with the snowball method and either ordering by smallest balance or highest interest first. And the math was clear… pay off highest interest loans first!
But a few years later, as I realized the value of the psychology of the debt snowball, I did eventually cave and pay off some smaller balance credit cards despite the low interest (thanks to some fortuitous permanent balance transfer offers).
I’m now very happy to be credit card debt free. I still have very low interest student loan and car loans, but the balances are not at all huge, and I’ve built up a CD ladder, a healthy 401(k) balance and a usefully sized emergency fund. What makes me happiest now is totaling everything up and looking back, and seeing a net worth that improves by over ten thousand each year! Even without the ever declining interest payments on my mortgage, increasing my salary or compounding interest, I’m headed for a net worth of over half a million by the time I’m 60.
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@Jason B
Nice job! A half million in principle savings alone by 60! That will be incredible!
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Thanks for this topic! Everyone’s comments are itneresting and informative.
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I would be on a good path anyway because that is just me, but watching my mom struggle through graduate school was formative. I didn’t ever want to have my life choices limited because there wasn’t enough money in the bank.
But an event where my views were solidified was when I was 12-14. My sister, who is bipolar, turned 18 and my mom struggled to get her living as independently as possible and I realized it would never 100% happen. I realized odds were that when my mom died I would be responsible for making up the difference between what my sister could supply for herself and what she needed to live a modest life.
She has since married and her husband makes up the difference, but for years that was the reality I was working toward, so I grew up believing I would have significant financial responsibility.
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In the same year- a divorce and an Autism diagnosis for my son. These events left me in a panic- the same bills with half the income.
But, you wouldn’t believe the blessings that have come to pass since. Within the year, I:
finished my Master’s, which resulted in a raise,
paid off my car,
realized my salary was not reflecting my teaching experience from another state- another raise, and
saved $1000 (baby step #1).
I’ve been able to tithe and help other people going through other difficult situations. Now, I’m paying off credit cards and ALMOST have an entire paycheck set aside.
I’m very thankful that I’m finally learning how to take care of money better, even though it’s been a long road.
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First, I was going to say I have always been this way (even with junior and highschool jobs I saved my money) but I realize what it really was that made me the way I am.
When I was a senior in college my father’s businesses failed (actually it was 2 failures and last straw the 3rd business he invested in the investors ran off with over 100K of money). In addition my parents started divorce proceedings. Instead of money in the bank our family was now hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. My little brother was a senior in high school and there were no provisions for him to go to college. Though I wasn’t always super aware of it during good times, it made me realize I hated the way my parents dealt with money (spending when there was excess, no planning/saving for retirement, not seperating personal from business assets) and the lack of control I felt. In response, I probably became overly conservative with money, living below my means, even with the first job out of college saving for retirement, and avoiding debt like the plague.
A big regret is that I cannot share what I have learned with my parents; they still will not discuss or confer with their adult children about finances or any other future planning, refuse to create wills, and other than ask me for money indirectly will not share what is going on with their financial situation other than it is bad.
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My story is a story we’ve heard many times before, from J.D. and many others. I racked up some $25k or so in credit card debt, and finally hit rock bottom when I realized my income could no longer cover both my credit card bills and rent. That’s when I started turning around.
I still don’t believe in “delayed gratification” though. I set my goals, and then I meet them as soon as possible, not as late as possible. This doesn’t mean I’ll go into debt to meet them, but I’d rather have a lifetime full of experiences and a moderately sized 401k than a *huge* 401k and have put off everything until age 60+.
A variety of experiences helps us grow as people. This is especially tied to travel, but it applies to everything. You don’t fully appreciate what the conditions in a third world country are like until you’ve been to one, nor do you fully grasp the skill required for surfing until you’ve tried it, and you can’t understand the flavor of a fine wine until you’ve tasted it. Your experiences shape you as a person, and it seems ridiculous to delay learning all these things in exchange for a few dollars in interest.
I’m going to Costa Rica in a couple weeks. Could I have waited until retirement and gone then, having more money left over because of the interest earned in the intermediate 35 years? Sure. But then I couldn’t tell my kids about the trip to the rain forest that their mother and I went on before they were born, nor could I watch how the people there raise their children and apply some of that knowledge to raising my own kids, nor would I understand plenty of other things, because I’d never have been exposed to them.
Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? Accruing interest at 6% isn’t enough of a reason for me.
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My brain change: surviving my first rounds of layoffs (I’m in software R&D), having DH get laid off when we didn’t have much savings, and reading Your Money or Your Life (Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin) for the first time.
I found that I really hated feeling like my entire way of life is at risk because my employer isn’t doing well. I also fell in love with the idea of financial independence. DH took a little while, but he bought into the idea with me.
The second time DH got laid off, we were much better positioned. I remember my reaction was “oh, well; take your time to find something you love”.
I’m still on “layoff watch” (who isn’t, these days!), feeling about 40% endangered in the next 6 months. No panic here, even though we’re a single-paycheck family — just planning, planning, planning. We’re not FI, but we have enough resources to have a lot of choices to deal with what comes.
It’s all about peace of mind. We know what we value, and we spend on those things as well as necessities, but we aren’t as swayed by peer pressure or impulsive “I wannas” as we used to be.
@Tyler at 45: “delayed gratification” doesn’t mean delaying everything you love as long as possible. It means “the ability to wait in order to obtain something that one wants” — sounds like you do that already, based on your own description. Balance is key!
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I was sitting in my high school algebra class and Mr. Weiss was teaching us about compounding interest. Once I got a handle on the math I started crunching numbers, immediately noticing a huge difference between investing at 20 and 25. I realized then that I could not wait, I needed to start then and there, or I would be “throwing” money away. I have been making a full contribution to my Roth ever since I was 19.
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My moment came one night during a discussion with my soon-to-be-hubby. We were talking about money and he admitted that he had some problems with bills and some debt out there. “Some” turned out to be quite a bit and I decided that I would take over the finances for us. It took several months of online caluculators and reading every budget/finance article I could find to finally come up with a plan. 8 years of marriage, 2 kids and numerous money discussions later we’ve paid off his debt and our working on paying off student loans and mortgage as well as building savings. It hasn’t been the most fun but the most important thing to know is that there are lots of people who have been through it before and are willing to share their knowledge!
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Tyler, I think you and I have similar outlooks. I think I originally was turned off by PF because I felt that experiences could be just as, if not more rewarding, than having a large savings account. Lately I’ve come to recognize that keeping my finances in order eventually frees me to experience MORE because I’m not tying up so much of my money paying finance charges and because I’m not as chained to a particular job or salary.
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My reason was my cat.
In early 2007 she was very very sick, and we were poor recently ex-students. My husband and I both had school debt, but I also had a bunch of frivolous debt caused by buying things I really didn’t need, while at school, and after I graduated because I “deserved” them.
The cat ended up needing fairly major surgery (she had a tumour in her stomach), and after calling Visa and MasterCard, begging for my CC limit to be raised (since of course, they were maxed out) and being turned down, I decided I needed to get my finances in shape. I didn’t want to ever be in that situation again and decided to take action to make sure I never was.
I felt so helpless – I couldn’t afford lifesaving surgery for someone I loved, all because of stupid things I had done years in the past. It was incredibly frustrating and sobering. (we ended up getting an emergency loan from my mother)
I stumbled along on my own for a while, trying to learn what I could, and early this year we had our credit cards completely paid off! I only started reading PF blogs this year, and that has helped me learn more and provided me with many other resources to learn more from as well. At this point, my husband and I are well on track to becoming debt-free (except the mortgage) by the time we are 30 in 2 years. I can recognize the money traps I used to fall into, and have learned how to avoid most of them.
(Thanks to a fantastic veterinary surgeon, my cat was fine and is still with us!)
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