This is a guest post from Robert Brokamp of The Motley Fool. Robert is a Certified Financial Planner and the advisor for The Motley Fool’s Rule Your Retirement service. He contributes one new article to Get Rich Slowly every two weeks. (And note that this post is much less controversial than yesterday’s!)
Let’s face it: Most of us weren’t born eager to delay gratification, invest in IRAs, diversify our assets, and give a hoot about personal finances whatsoever. If you told me back in high school that I was going to be a financial writer, I would have laughed with gusto and perhaps a little dread. (I get the same reaction nowadays when I tell people that back in high school, I wanted to be a priest.)
However, something happened to you, and you decided to take control. Otherwise, why would you be reading this website (other than a weird obsession with turtle logos)?
For me, it was being a teacher making $20,000 a year while living in Washington, D.C. (No, this wasn’t the 1970s, but the mid-1990s.) And I knew I had to be smart with every penny. I checked out books like Personal Finance for Dummies from the library, and a whole new world opened up. I asked myself again and again, “Why didn’t anyone teach me this stuff?!”
So that’s my story. What’s yours? What got you to change? I’m really curious, because I think identifying those motivators/triggers/kick-in-the-butters (whatever you want to call them) is key to getting more people to take their personal finances seriously.
Not that I don’t have some ideas. Last year, we solicited ideas from the readers of our Rule Your Retirement service. Several of their responses are below, grouped according to a general principle behind their transformations. (As is Motley Fool custom, I’ve used their discussion board nicknames rather than their real names.) See if you don’t recognize yourself in some of their stories.
Contemplation
Sometimes just thinking about the future will get someone to change. That’s what happened to RnRretirerican. She wrote:
One day you’re hurtling along the madness that is the everyday, and something happens that makes you slow down a little — read the fine print, breathe deeply, and wonder about it all. For me, it was the realization that although being a parent is my proudest achievement to date, one day it will be just my husband and me at home. We had spent years … ensuring that the futures of our children would be bright, but what about our future?
So RnRretirerican began educating herself about investing. Her husband had handled most of the investment decisions up until then, but a demanding job limited his time. The result: “I decided that I could help do the investigating and that together … we could make our retirement stellar, rather than stale.”
Pain or Despair
Unfortunately, a really bad experience is perhaps the number one reason people change course. Often that experience involves a “financial advisor” who is really just a salesperson. Fool reader Scottyzee wrote: “We decided to put our money in the hands of professionals. … This leading brokerage firm lost it all. … Now I do my own research and make my own decisions and sleep a little better at night.”
Even hiring friends doesn’t always work out, as pepperidgetrln found out. She was “panicked” about what to do with an old 401(k). A friend’s husband offered to help.
“I figured he really must be doing me a favor as he was used to dealing with much larger accounts,” she wrote. “So, I invested in whatever he recommended and was grateful for what I considered the ‘free’ advice.” Of course, the advice wasn’t really free — the costs were just buried. “The mutual funds he recommended were all high-fee, actively managed funds with loads. I think some even charged 12b-1 fees!” (A 12b-1 fee is an annual marketing fee added to the cost of owning a mutual fund.)
Of course, pepperidgeltrln was probably correct in assuming that her advisor friend was used to dealing with large accounts; many advisors require high minimum investments. F4Phanatic’s advisor required at least $80,000. He decided to hire the advisor, but also manage some of the money himself. “My financial advisor is still the same guy,” he writes. “I rub it in about how I’m beating his performance.”
Not that getting a financial advisor is a bad thing. Just make sure you get the right one. Start by checking out the Garrett Planning Network, an international group of fee-only planners.
Belief That Change Is Possible
Reader smoothk came to The Motley Fool a decade ago, ready and raring to buy stocks. But after reading the personal finance area of the site, he realized he first had to eliminate his tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt. “It was then that I became dedicated — no, committed — to eliminating my debt and never getting in debt again,” he wrote. “That was my one and only financial goal.”
He and his wife are now debt-free except for a mortgage, their cars are paid for, they’ve opened college savings accounts for their kids, and smoothk is contributing 6% to his 401(k). “It has taken us about 10 years to reach this point. Actually, that’s far less than originally planned because every bit of extra money we could muster to pay off that debt load was used! We are so glad we did!”
Dedication to Action
For Darwood11, the painful event that prompted his turnaround was a divorce. “Nearly broke and facing bankruptcy,” he writes, “I started over.” He began his self-education by reading all he could about retirement planning, then inputting his numbers in worksheets and financial calculators.
“It had taken me about 35 years to get to that place in my circuitous financial planning journey,” he wrote. “However, something reached critical mass and within two years I had created and implemented a completely new plan that incorporated better funds, substantially better asset allocation, some dividend-paying stocks, an emergency fund, and a CD ladder.”
What About You?
So go ahead. Tell your story in the “comments” box below, and give us your theory on what would get more people to get their acts together. I’ll summarize the results in my next GRS missive.
This article is about Ask the Readers, Planning, Psychology, Real-Life, Retirement
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@TosaJen (and Nancy), based on your definition of delayed gratification, yes, I do that already!
I see a lot of people though, saying things like, “I could spend $2,000 today on a vacation, but if instead I invest the $2,000 at 8% return for 40 years, it’ll be worth $45,000! I’ll just wait 40 years to take a vacation, because of all the interest I can earn instead!”
That’s the sort of “delayed gratification” I’m not willing to participate in. As soon as I’ve saved $2000 in my ‘vacation’ fund, as long as my finances are otherwise in order, I’m going to go on my trip.
Years ago, I would have gone on the trip even if I didn’t have the money for it saved. I will no longer do that.
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I got my act together when my husband’s income dropped 18% and our rent went up 50%. Now I know we can live on just about any income, and I will never spend more than I need to again.
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In May 1987, as I left the hospital with my newborn son, alone, I realized that the only person I would ever depend on financially was myself and this tiny person was depending on me. I was a 21 year old single parent and that was a big wake up call. I took that role very seriously and changed my life. I’ve been married for many years now and we have lived a very frugal life with only a mortgage, never any other debt again.
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I’ve wanted to be rich ever since being a little kid. But…. I thought you became rich exclusively through creating wealth (build a business, etc) and did NOT take into consideration that there’s a second part to the equation: keeping wealth. So I decided to start working on both fronts, and I’m still not rich but at least my worth is rising and that feels good.
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My turning point was a result of 3 things happening over the course of a year. I graduated college and found a great job, and had minimal expenses besides rent. I also kept a part time job on the side, for extra cash. Lifestyle inflation caught up to me, and at the end of the year I realized I had spent over $45,000 and had nothing to show for it besides a closet full of designer clothes and shoes that I wasn’t wearing, and a huge flatscreen TV (and many many lunches and nights of eating out at expensive restaurants).
Then, I found out that my part time job wasn’t playing nice with my overall taxes, so I owed somewhere around $1000 (the first time in my life I ever owed money). Finally, I met my current boyfriend, and my priorities shifted to travel and building our future together (home, new car, further education).
All of these things contributed to the moment when I “woke up” and realized that saving was essential. Reading horror stories about the terrible economy only motivated me further, and I vowed never to put myself in a bad position if I could help it. Just pausing to think about cause and effect can go a long way!
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I honestly don’t think I had one moment that was a, “wake-up call” for me. I was horrible about taking on debt I couldn’t afford. But I ALWAYS paid it off after hard work (including a purchase of a brand new $20,000 at 18 years old – stupid). I think I learned my lesson over time. When I would pay off a debt I realized how many choices I had in my life when I didn’t have any payments to make etc.
Now my wife and I have very little debt at 24 years of age. We are planning on having the house paid off in 4 years. ALL I WANT is the freedom to choose whatever the heck I want to do. Payments (debt) really just hold you down in some many ways…
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A little over a year ago, I had an accident that could have been fatal and miraculously wasn’t. (I fell off a 4-story cliff in Indonesia.)
There were many fallouts from that experience, but one was that I wanted to get a tattoo; I’d wanted one for a very long time but never got it because I knew my parents would disapprove. (This was still my reason as a 30 year old woman!)
The tattoo artist I chose was wonderfully talented — and expensive. But it was worth the money to me to get something great that I would have for the rest of my life. And they don’t take credit cards. So within a few months, I socked away the cash I needed for the tattoo and got it. (I love it!)
Out of THAT experience, I saw that, when I am properly motivated, I could do powerful stuff with my money. So I started seriously paying off my credit card debt and getting a handle on my finances and I am well on my way to having a prosperous future! (This blog, along with a few others, and the book Smart Women Finish Rich, have taught me a lot along the way.)
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My change in attitude was after a messy break up when I was 16. Sounds pathetic but after this horrible experience I felt that I had to make sure I took control of EVERYTHING. Thankfully this included making over my finances in addition to my studies. I guess it seems like I was using the whole ‘trying to control everything’ as a distraction. Five years on I’m in a wonderful relationship, studying languages (my passion) and financially healthy.
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At first I was going to say that nothing happened to me to make me to decide to take control. But that’s not true. The thing that happened to me is that I got some money to take control of! There were a few periods in my childhood when we had enough family money to get an allowance, and after high school I started working. I was very excited to have my own money to control. I didn’t actually spend much–it was enough to know that if I really wanted something, I could get it.
Also, I started off rather ignorant–most of what I knew I learned from school (math, reading, history classes) and Girl Scouts. I also understood the concept of not being able to afford things from my family.
But I had to slowly find out about things like stocks, mutual funds, IRAs, online savings accounts, diversification, prioritizing durability in my purchases, which expensive fun things are actually worth the money, how to repair things and make substitutes, etc. And I’m still learning.
Specific incidents I remember:
* I couldn’t find anything I really wanted at the zoo, so I just bought something mediocre–then I learned I could have saved the money.
* I couldn’t remember where all my money had gone sometimes in college, so I started keeping track.
* When my parents couldn’t afford to pay their part of my junior year in college, I figured out a way to finish anyway.
* I (stupidly) prioritized paying off my student loans while other people were starting to save for retirement–by the time I had extra money, I knew what I wanted to do with it.
* My car kept breaking and it’s like the repair guys kept calling my bank and charging me everything in my account. Finally I decided to go without a car for a while so I’d have some money for fun.
* By the time I no longer knew people I wanted to be roommates with, I already knew I liked having roommates so much that I was willing to interview strangers to find one.
* When I went to a conference for math teachers and felt like I was the only one who had driven more than fifty miles (instead of flying), camped or stayed in a cheap hotel (instead of the hotel next to the conference), parked across the river (instead of paying to park), and wasn’t even a teacher (I just hoped to become one someday), there was no denying that I was some kind of weirdo AND that I was okay with that.
* When the Roth IRA was invented, I jumped aboard immediately. Pay my taxes now and never worry about them again? Score! (With taxes at historic lows, and my tax rate in the bottom bracket, my taxes were going nowhere but up.) I wasn’t so quick with the I-bond or online savings bandwagons but eventually figured out they were okay (at least back when the I-bond paid significantly more than just the inflation rate).
* When I got my current job and calculated when I could retire, I decided I was going to save up enough to ensure that I could retire at that date, regardless of how much they changed the rules for my pension.
So I guess I’d call the category that got me to get better was Learning Good Tricks. If you only hang around people (and books, web pages, etc.) that don’t know any of the cool tricks, how will you learn them?
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I think motivation is a huge factor in all of this. So many people have a huge amount of potential in them, it’s just about unlocking it. You can have two of people who graduated with an MBA and one will still always make more than the other, so I also believe there is a bit of luck in there as well. I think if you can harness all of these ingredients, you can become successful (not just money, true hapiness).
Thanks for the great blog post. Pretty inspiring!
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My ‘a-ha’ moment happened more than once. I was always a saver, as a few people have said here. Saved for my own car when I was 16. You know how hard it is to not spend ONE DIME of money you make over the summer, but then feel the reward of driving around your own $1500 LeBaron in the fall? I didn’t have a new, awesome car like all the cool kids, but man… I was proud.
Then, I met my husband. I’ve never met someone who was so bad with money. He was actually PROUD of his NSF notices from the bank, that he made me not care about getting them either. When it came time to get a credit card, guess who had to apply for one because he kept getting denied? And then when our joint checking was empty… well, you can see the snowball effect.
I seemed to keep a few of his habits after our divorce, because my career just kept paying me more. I thought I OWED it to myself after the nightmare of living with him and his debt troubles to buy myself things. And not just things, NICE, EXPENSIVE things.
It finally all cleared up for me when I lost my job at the end of 2007 when I realized that I had made a LOT of money over the past 5 years, and like a lot of previous people on here have said, I had NOTHING to show for it.
Over the last year, I:
Got a financial PLANNER (Ameriprise is great, they charge a flat fee.)
Paid off all my credit card debt
Fixed my credit score
Saved $6,000 that is split between a Long Term & Short Term savings acct. (Short term is my emergency fund, while my long term, I will never touch)
I save 5% in my 401k
And rolled an old 401k into a Roth IRA
The one thing that I did see on these comments that startled me was about saving for vacations. I really think once you begin saving, it can almost become an unhealthy obsession. As with everything else, you must find the middle way, some balance. (My boyfriend is buddhist.)
With this, you never know what may happen tomorrow. Go on vacation.
We’re headed to Costa Rica in March 2010!
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Just before I turned 30, I took a job that gave me a 50% pay increase. I thought I had it made. (Take your current paycheck, divide it by half and write yourself a check on top of the amount you are used to earning — feels good, huh?)
About six months into this job, I sat at my desk trying to figure out why I was making a lot more money, but I felt just as broke. I looked at all my expenses and realized I was experiencing lifestyle inflation — my husband and I were traveling and eating out a lot more than we used to, and using up that extra money fast.
I thought about what I really wanted. It wasn’t to sit at a desk my whole life, I knew that. I read a lot of books and even took a community college class on debt reduction. We stopped eating out and spending unnecessarily, and we paid off $20,000 in student loans, plus another $20,000 car loan in about 2 years.
When I was laid off from this well-paying job three years later, I was pregnant. Being almost debt free (with the exception of my mortgage), meant I could stay home with my baby for almost two years. When I did go back to work, it was on my terms — I did freelance work from home. Being my own boss was exactly what I wanted to do.
This recession has taught me that I want more — more financial freedom, at least. So my next goal is to pay off my mortgage. It’s not going to be easy. But it’s time. Imagine what I could do with an extra $1,000 a month that wasn’t going to my mortgage company. It’s going to feel really good to know that I own my own home and everything in it. Nothing I can buy is going to feel better than that.
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During college, I was supported by my parents. I had savings from when I was a kid, but that was used for extras during college, basically anything my parents wouldn’t reimburse. “Beers $18″ wouldn’t get past my parents’ audit. My bank account bounced between 1,500 and 500 dollars. I had never accumulated money. When I graduated and went on to graduate school, my new fixed income was ample, but all of the sudden if I spent more than I made, my account dwindled. I hated this. I had an “aha” moment. Realizing that I had the ability to spend a lot less than my income, I quickly began understanding costs of things I had always neglected. My engineering brain soon began to think of everything as dollars per day, in dollars per use, dollars per ounce, and asking “Do I really need that?”. Realizing how much you’re spending was the key to my mental switchover.
Today, I am frugal. I wear things out that I used to replace earlier. I keep mental track of prices. I’ve learned to cook, and barely go out to eat. I buy things that last, even if they’re “expensive”.
It’s not easy, but I’ve made progress:
I paid off my car 1.5 years into the 3 year loan.
I comparison shop for everything more than about $20.
I always try generic food products, if only once.
I paid for a mortgage modification, and it’s paid itself back in 6 months.
I prepay my mortgage enough so that I don’t barely notice.
I have auto-debited “per month” escrow ING accounts from every expected purchase over $300(property tax, insurance, etc.), and am building an emergency fund. I keep money from small windfalls put away for fun stuff.
I lowered my tax allowances to keep more money during the year.
It’s a revelation, and I’ve just started down this road. I’m glad to be on it, even if it’s not flashy.
I appreciate all the content here that helps me to examine the way I earn, save and invest my money, because the more I think about it, the better decisions I make.
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JD, I think this need Robert Brokamp to be careful of his tone. It’s your blog and he is a guest poster; you should keep any eye out how guest posters sound:
>>I’ll summarize the results in my next GRS missive.
How would it feel if a commenter wrote “I’ll summarize the results in my next GRS missive.” Would sound strange, weird, and a little condescending.
I don’t expect to be talked down to when I read your blog.
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Thankfully I’ve been able to get a good start financially after college, though i really appreciate all the “lessons learned” that are available on this site. A lot of great advice and interesting things to watch out for. I remember though having to buy a computer near the end of my senior year as a replacement on credit, and not having a job to pay it off. Carrying that balance for months on end made me it’s better to wait and save, rather than be in a position to lose money month after month.
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For me, it all started while I was working for minimum wage at an Eddie Bauer Outlet store in Golden, Colorado. While lamenting about my lack of funds, a coworker told me about Robert Kiyosaki’s “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”. After a quick trip to Borders Books and Music and a read-through, I was hooked.
A phrase from that book went something like, “A portion of every paycheck you earn belongs to you”. Mr. Kiyosaki goes on to elaborate that we think that all of our paycheck belongs to us, but most if not all of it ends up going to bills, rent, food, daily expenses, etc. Very little or none at all ends up going to the things that matter – saving for retirement, assets/investments, etc.
After reading that book, I woke up to a whole new world. I began reading finance blogs like this one and Ramit Sethi’s “I Will Teach You To Be Rich”. I opened up savings accounts with ING Direct, a Roth IRA with Sharebuilder, and generally gained better control over my finances. Sometimes, all it takes is a choice phrase or good line from somebody to really sink in and get the gears turning in your head.
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I feel very fortunate that I learned the basics or personal finance early on. My parents are fairly wealthy, but are still responsible with their money. I learned a lot about bargain shopping from my mom, and the difference between wants and needs (a difficult lesson when I was in 4th grade and “needed” a slap bracelet because one’s social standing was directly proportional to the number of slap bracelets owned). My parents urged me to get a credit card when I was in college to build good credit, but stressed the importance of always paying the balance in full so I wouldn’t have to pay interest.
When I got my first real job, my older brother helped me figure out a budget. He encouraged me to contribute 20% of my pay to my 401(k), promising me that if I never saw it, I wouldn’t even miss it (he was right!). He also advised me to contribute to a Roth IRA. Learning about these things made me seek out more information, and I’m still finding out about ways to improve my finances.
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I’m only 19, but I come from a pretty comfortable family. My mom has horrible money management, and unfortunately, I inherited that trait from her. Used to private schools and spoiled private school kids, I spent and spent and spent with no thought to the fact that money is limited. Even after my first year of college at a public university, I ended up becoming friends with people who came from similar financial backgrounds. It wasn’t until this summer, when I started my first job at a Christian summer camp paying me $175 a week for working 50 hours a week that I started realizing money wasn’t a limitless resource. That revelation has made me immensely grateful toward my parents for all they’ve given me, and determined to minimize my monetary burden on them. I picked up a couple of Dave Ramsey’s books, set up a budget on my computer and saved up for an emergency fund. And thanks to all my research, I am never going to open a credit card. After reading so many stories of people with tons of debt, I feel so thankful that my parents didn’t let me open a credit card when I turned 18.
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I grew up relatively poor – on and off welfare, constantly broke, and always “robbing Peter to pay Paul” – we could pay the electricity bill or the phone bill, but not both. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it really affected me. I *hated* being poor and thought if I could get a job making lots of money life would be a million times easier. I worked 40 hours a week (and took out loans) to put myself through college and when I graduated got a good job making good money.
And you know what? I was still Just.As.Broke. No matter how I earned, I would spend a little bit more, doing the same dance every month of what credit cards to pay… My mom (who was finally able to get her financial life in order) gave me a book on unhealthy relationships with money and I saw myself so clearly in one of the examples. I realized I was basically “addicted to poverty”, and constantly needed to prove to myself that I wasn’t poor, by spending lots of money, which of course made me poor! It’s taken a couple re-readings of Your Money or Your Life, and I’ve made some mistakes but I finally have a positive net worth and it’s increasing every month.
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JD – For what it’s worth, I don’t think use of the word “missive” is condescending, weird or strange. Viva la language, underused words and all.
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My reason for change was when I turned 25 last year I received a sizable, to me at least inheritance. At that moment I decided that I needed to become more knowledgeable about investing. From this need for investing knowledge, I found GRS and have since improved my saving and spending habits. I’m going back to college to get a degree in a field I love and my full time job makes me appreciate the education and strive to make excellent grades so that I will be able to get the job that I desire.
Joe
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Mine’s a bit of a jilted lover story. I was in a long-term (7 year) relationship, we had no real debt problems (just student loans), but I wasn’t making much money. Then, I unceremoniously ended up broke and brokenhearted, in another city with no job. Luckily I had family and friends with whom to crash, so I wasn’t in real dire straits. However, when I finally landed a decent job, I decided that task 1 was to eliminate all my debt. That was 2 years ago. I’m now 28, and I plan to be debt free by 30 or 31 (I’m giving myself a little wiggle room).
It was a wake-up call, I guess. I could end up broke and jobless at any time, and having debt on top of that makes a stressful situation worse.
Of course, I set myself back a bit by buying a car, putting myself further in debt, but I’m at a point now where I can handle it (thankfully!).
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I had two things happen to me. One is that I’m turning 40 in a few months. And I did a lot of introspection and realized that one of my long-standing issues was lack of discipline. So, I made a decision to be more disciplined with my housework and my finances (two of my big areas).
The second was having a 71 year-old coworker tell me that she can’t afford to retire. That is not going to happen to me. I refuse to work into my 70′s. That is completely lame. Lots of people claim they would be too bored if they didn’t work (and really, I suspect my coworker may be of that ilk and is just claiming that she can’t afford to). I have so many things I like to do that on my days off I feel that I don’t have enough time to do what I want to do.
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In my 20s I was terrible with money and debt. Marrying someone who was raised to be extremely debt-averse helped get me started on becoming more responsible. But the real epiphany came after we had our 2nd child 16 months ago. I was (still am, for now) stuck in a corporate job with not enough flexibility, too much stress, in a field I just don’t care about anymore, and not able to spend enough time with my family. I wanted to quit until I could find something part-time, and I also want to go back to school for a total career change, but we just couldn’t afford it, primarily because of student loan and car payments. Last year I read Your Money or Your Life and the Total Money Makeover. The anecdotes in Total Money Makeover about what real, middle-class people who had eliminated debt and really got control of their spending and investing were able to accomplish struck home. They had so many more choices in life when they had no debt payments and truly lived below their means. My husband and I decided that’s what we want.
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Mine happened when my husband and I decided to get married and wanted to see where we as a developing unit were financially. It was an ugly picture but we developed a plan to pay it all off and I hit the personal finance websites to gain perspectives of other people who are trying to do better like we are. It will probably take us five years to pay off everything but the mortgage but its been a great journey so far.
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2 reasons:
Your Money or Your Life- taught me not to overdue it
Rich Dad – taught me to think outside the box
I became upper middle class and learn how to get ahead and not just get by
I love Tyler Karaszewski comment “I’d rather have a lifetime full of experiences and a moderately sized 401k than a *huge* 401k and have put off everything until age 60+.”
I had to tweet about it
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Fortunately, I never had a particular moment in my life where I was thrust into dire straits financially. My story is more of the “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” sort. I grew up listening to my parents argue over money. How they never had enough, how they could never get ahead, so on and so on. Yet they never took the initiative to improve their situation. They lived paycheck to paycheck, never saved for retirement and would tremble at and berate the idea of investing no matter how conservative of a product was recommended. I knew from a very early age that I did not want to end up like them.
I went through a very rough patch during my freshman year of high school. My parents were on the verge of divorce and I was not handling it well at all. I truly believe that I would have ended up either dead or in jail if it was not for a man that I now refer to as my Godfather (Rich Dad). He was the father of one of my best friends at the time and took me under his wing. I learned a great deal about life, responsibility and more importantly, financial literacy and responsibility. He was big on saving and investing and I saw how carefree and relaxed my friends’ parents were. Her parents never argued about money and actually went on family trips together. I wanted that life.
I am now 30 years old, turning 31 next month and will be able to “retire” when I am 33. I will have a liquid net worth of over $1 million at that time without a penny of debt. Considering what I came from and where I will be I have no problems sharing (bragging) about my story to others. If I could do it so could anyone with enough determination.
I didn’t win the lottery, I didn’t inherit a fortune and I don’t even have a college degree. I never thought that you should have to start your adult life with $40K+ in student loans to pay off. That’s no way to get ahead. I finally bought a house this past April and will have the mortgage paid off this coming May.
Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. If you want it bad enough you can figure out a way to get it.
[Disclaimer: No laws were broken during my endeavors.]
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Early in our marriage I saw getting educated and taking charge of money as a way to contribute more financially.
My husband has always made much more money than I have, yet has always been an exceptionally frugal saver. It’s a little intimidating.
Saving money and reaching financial goals has lead to more trust between us. We’re both more likely to get what we need and want.
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I got to go through it twice.
Young and hot headed man of 24 and I get fired from a job I really liked. I’d lost jobs before but this was the first time as a “grown up.” Very quickly learned the credit card folks don’t care, they want their money. Five months later I go back to work for the same company and that summer I bought Peter Lynch’s “Learn to Earn.”
It opened my eyes to theoretically self evident concepts that had simply never dawned on me (don’t buy it if you can’t afford it type concepts, save your money…GENIUS!)
I hunkered down and cleaned it all up, lesson learned I proceeded with life.
not so fast.
Few years later, same company, I meet a lady. Oh yes. We decide to move to another state for better opportunities (ok, she decided to move to another state, etc. etc., you get the point.)
In my happily ignorant desire to give her whatever was needed to make our new life work out, I sink into debt, ugly debt. Not because I didn’t know but because I didn’t care. Ouch. Funny how the lessons learned don’t help you with that mindset in play.
No surprise where this is going, we split up. Over the course of a weekend I come to the frightening realization I have no money saved, I’m in deep, and I’m living in a house the rent for which is an entire paycheck.
I struggle to the end of the lease and move to a cheaper place. While forming a detailed, strategic, multi year battle plan against the debt that would do Patton proud, I stumbled on “The Richest Man in Babylon.”
I don’t know what it was about that book. I didn’t really learn anything not already known but it was a bona fide light from on high. I thought “to heck with this” and tossed out all the planning. “Forget multi year, this ends now.” I decided better to sacrifice a year or less of busting my hump and doing without than to pull that band-aid off over the course of years.
Dave Ramsey likes to speak of beans and rice….bah! Beans were a luxury during that marvelous time!
In just under a year, it was gone and my attitude changed forever.
I still read “The Richest Man in Babylon” about once every month or two, I like to think it keeps me honest.
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There were approximately 30+ wake up calls for me that I acknowledged & then ignored. But the one that actually got me moving was when I sat down with my excel spreadsheet budget (oh yes, I’d made a budget…and then not followed it at all) to figure out how to save $1000 in moving expenses in the coming year as I was finishing my degree. And realized that with my committed expenses (housing costs & credit card payments) combined with a modest budget for groceries and play money (not that I ever *stuck* to that budget…) that I couldn’t. There was no way that I could put away $1000 in a year with my current expenses.
I was 27 years old and couldn’t pull together $1000 in a year. YIKES. More than yikes. Panic.
With that, I finally realized just how far beyond my means I had been living for the past 6 years (grad school). I also realized that I had been justifying my irresponsibility with, “But I’m only 21! And I know people who are worse than me!” replacing “21″ with 23, and then eventually with 26. 5 years of not growing up at all? Not good.
So I broke my lease – I found someone to take the apartment & moved to a *much* cheaper apartment. In moving to that apartment, I downsized my life. I’m still going through some trial & error to find a monthly system that works for me, but I’m making progress. Moving somewhere with a higher cost of living scares the bejiminies out of me, but I’ll adjust & find a way to make it work because I am no longer satisfied with being personally or financially stagnant. Which was my own personal wake-up call.
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I got sick of being in debt and chasing the latest get quick rich scheme. Now out of debt and slowing investing for my future.
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For me it was getting married and creating a joint account with my husband. All of a sudden, after spending several thousand more than we had originally planned to on our wedding (not going into debt for it, though, thank goodness), we realized that we needed to figure out a better plan than living paycheck to paycheck.
I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but I remember creating a new gmail account for my married self, clicking over to Google Reader, and realizing that I could completely start over with my RSS feeds. I had tried, several years ago to subscribe to feeds, but couldn’t make any sense of it at the time. I think I just wasn’t ready.
In any case, I subscribed to two feeds for sites that I already visited regularly, and then one of those sites mentioned something about financial planning, and then I subscribed a financial blog, then two, then four, and then I was reading books and budgeting and all sorts of crazy stuff.
My husband and I (we’ve only been married for six months) are still working out the nitty gritty details of our finances and paying down our debt (credit cards, car loans, and student loans), but we’re spending less than we earn and have yet to have a fight about money, which can’t be a bad thing, right?
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Oddly enough, my “financial wake up call” happened when I was in 2nd grade. Our class went on a field trip and before I left that morning, my mother gave me $20 (quite a LOT for a child and I felt RICH!) So, when we were done with the learning portion of the trip and went to the gift shop, I felt like I could buy something for everyone in my family. When I attempted to do so, I forgot to add up the cost in my head before checking out. You can guess what happened .. I didn’t have enough money.
As a shy child, I was quite mortified and my teacher kindly loaned me enough to complete my purchase. But, the embarrassment and shame I felt at needing to borrow money has stuck with me to this day. I vowed never to be caught in that situation again.
While at the time I was thinking of counting my pennies at the sticker store, the thought of never being caught short carried through to using credit cards as well as investments. I am not great with money, but I have never carried credit card debt and always save for the future.
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My wake up call occurred when I left my job at an accounting firm for a job in finance at a very good company. When I was in salary negotiations, I finally sat back and realized just how much I was making and how great my benefits were but then I looked around and had nothing to show for it – just a bunch of stuff that I didn’t even like and experiences that I couldn’t afford. I was making great money but still had about $10,000 in cc debt and $9,000 in an auto loan. I vowed then and there to get my head together. I put together a budget and took Financial Peace University and now I am debt free (except the mortgage).
I would like to add some discussion on the delayed gratification topic… I racked up a lot of my cc debt going on trips – Europe, DC, California and so on. I am so thankful that I went on those trips because it made me a more interesting and deeper person however I am still cursing myself for not saving up and paying cash! My boyfriend and I are currently saving up to take an overseas trip sometime in the next couple years but you can bet that I’ll pay cash for that one.
I think there needs to be a balance. I think that if you have a healthy savings habit going (funding your 401k and Roth as well as an Emergency fund) then you should save up for the fun stuff. Travel and experiences with friends and family are what make life so enjoyable. So don’t do in to debt but still find a way to have balance and enjoy life.
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I’m a bit late to the discussion, but it was being widowed in my 40s with a child still in High School that turned things around for me.
My late husband had only modest life insurance (due to his medial condition) and there were some fairly substantial medical bills and his final expenses. (10% of huge medical bills is still a LOT of money.)
I turned it around, paid off debt and did some needed defered maintainence on the house with what remained after the above bills. I’ve been debt free for several years now and am living more carefully and yet much more stable now than when W was alive on just my own income.
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Lordy be! Reading all the comments on this post just gave me another “aha” moment. I graduated from college debt free, thanks to scholarships and working on campus to meet my other needs. I had my first credit card as a sophomore with a limit of $500 and no money sense whatsoever. Looking back, the only thing that saved me then was my strict adherance to paying bills by the due date…its what still keeps me afloat even now.
Fast forward four months after I graduated from college. I got a credit card with a $4k limit, needed a car and found out I could transfer money from the cc to my checking account! Oh happy day! I paid cash for my first car from the balance transfer. Then my dad got sick so I had my credit limit increased and did yet another balance transfer. Before I knew it I was $12k in cc debt! I got lucky in that I got a new job, a fat bonus,a roommate and a weekend job and paid all that debt off in less than a year.
Because I didn’t have a plan for life after debt, I ended up in the same situation again in a just a few months. Only now I am in way over my head. I financed a car for $12k, bought a fixer upper at a good deal..BUT I used yet another balance transfer to cover the downpayment AND I charged most of the repair expenses telling myself I’ll pay then off with the 10% house tax credit. My brother wrecked my $12k car so I traded it in and got one for $27k…and used the money that was meant to pay off the house repairs as down payment. Then my company stopped doing tuition reimbursement so I took a loan for my first year of graduate school. Now on my second year I wasn’t able to find a cosigner…and I don’t qualify for Federal loans so I decided to charge. If I take a break now I’ll never go back…plus having an MBA will help me move up with my current employer or even out to a better paying position. Then I felt that I needed to dress for the job that I wanted and ended up charging that too.
So here I am, and it just dawned on me I’m sinking…and all my debt apathy has done is to continue digging the hole I am in deeper and deeper. So I am far from being better…but I do want to get better now for real. And this time I will work on having a plan for life after debt. That is what tripped me.
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