If there is no issue then I’d say look at your budget and find ways to squeeze in more time on hobbies and personal pursuits. It can be difficult with kids but involve them in and perhaps you can strike a balance.

Best of luck!

My own husband worked for IBM, although his salary wasn’t as high as Mike’s. He went into the computer field because all of his friends were doing well in it, but he never liked it. Like Mike, he was on call and hated being on the road to fix issues for companies.

We decided together that he would pursue a new field — he went back to college at 37 to get a degree in physical education. Money was tight for a few years, but we had a plan. Now he is loving his job and feels he makes a difference in the lives of kids everyday.

What would Mike do if he lost his job tomorrow? Would it be the break he was looking for to make a change? If so, then he has his answer.

Now that I have that off my chest, I would like to comment on what Mike has to say. I too am in an IT position making good money. I have to work all hours of the day and weekends – putting in 60+ hours a week. I have to constantly answer stupid questions that I have answered repeatedly to users. Once I liked my position, however my boss once asked me “Are you sure you want to be in IT?” I have been in this field for over 20 years and he says something like that to me! Anyway – since then I have acquired my MBA. I am looking for a way out too. Good luck to you Mike!!

Then at that point you can choose something you really love without worrying as much (or at all) about the income.

That is… if you can hold out that long.

My advice to Mike would be, check in with yourself *physically* to really gauge whether you hate your job. Are you depressed/anxious, insomniac (OR sleeping more than 9 hours a day), gaining/losing weight, having digestive problems, having headaches/backaches, having mood swings? Those are real physical symptoms that signal dangerous stress.

If you’re just kind of bored and fed up, then I’d say look outside the workplace for enjoyment/fulfillment, while taking steps to bring your financial affairs under control and doing a little gratitude practice for your home life and steady work. Good luck!

A safer way to try out something different may be to do it part time while you are still working either full time or part time at your IT job. This might be a bit of a time zapper at first, but it involves less financial risk. You can work and take classes at a slower pace. My other half is 32 and doing just that at this moment.

Your handy skills reminded me of my own experience…

Last year I tried to turn my photo hobby into a profession while still working full time at a job that I love. I tried it because if I had succeeded as a photo pro, I could earn the same amount of income with less time doing something I love (so why not?) I had a business plan, promoted the business, etc. It took up every weekend and almost every week nights. I had a few gigs, some horrible and some great. But it also made me realize that I didn’t want to be a pro photographer.

Had I not tried it, I wouldn’t have known whether or not I would like the career change or not. So the bottom line is – give your dreams a try, but don’t ditch your current IT gig too soon.

Best of luck in pursuing your dreams!

I spent my entire 20′s and part of my 30′s preparing for a specific job. I didn’t choose it because I loved it – I chose it because other people told me I would be good at it, and because I really didn’t know what else to do. I even got an expensive graduate degree.

4 years into my “dream job” I realized that I was miserable. It was not until that point that I sat down and looked at my talents, skills, and experience. I’m sure that some people can succeed by “gritting it out” but I couldn’t. High-paying jobs are competitive, and it’s very hard to get ahead of others whose talents match that field, and who love doing it. It’s really hard to fake passion for something you don’t love.

So in 2003, I bit the bullet and changed careers. This time I found a career counselor who helped me to take a realistic look at what would truly fulfill me. With $50+k in debt from my MBA, I took a 40% pay cut and found my passion. I love my new job and life, and don’t regret it for a moment. I just had to scale back my spending (not easy) but well worthwhile. I’ll be paying off my last non-mortgage debt in 3 years.

But I love my job and am much happier. Because I’m better at my job, I have more respect from my colleagues – and from myself. I feel secure in my career. Money can’t buy this kind of happiness.

I say go for it! Just be thoughtful about a realistic new budget, and you’ll never look back!

1. Our only true expense at this time, is our mortgage. We have 2 newer vehicles that are paid off. We have no credit card or student loan dept either. Our retirements are both well funded, mine through a 401k and a Roth, and my wife through TRS and her Roth. We also have college savings accounts setup for both of our children. And we have about 4-5 months in an EF.

2. I have no plans on leaving this job. Althugh I do not enjoy the work, the peopple and the company are great. I just dread the work. So maybe my thoughts didn’t quite make it to paper the way I wanted them to.

3. My wife and I talk very openly about our finances and our career decisions. She is on board with me changing careers if it is something I want to do. We have both been very supportive of each other in all endeavors, so that would not be an issue.

4. I know people keep telling me to downsize the house, but truth be told, that is not an option. We have 2 children now with plans to add hopefully 2 more. We got a great deal on a wonderful home in our dream neighborhood. So I am willing to keep the IT gig until I can figure out another option that makes me happy.

5. Please understand that I wrote in looking for assistance not to get bashed or hear other people say, man you are lucky. I am VERY lucky, both my wife and I have a job, we love each other, we have 2 wonderful kids that are our world, and outside of the job, my life exactly what I would want it to be.

I would agree that if like the IT field but not your aspect of it, change direction. That way you dont negate years of certifications, learning, contacts, job experience, etc., but you still go a new direction. Worked for me!

Say, perhaps cutting back to part-time and staying home with your kids a couple days a week? (decreased wages would be partially offset by decreased day care/commuting costs)

This is something I’ve thought about as well. Otherwise, I will share what I’ve already done. I like my job, but I’ve found ways outside of it to challenge myself so I’m not defined by it. I made a “life list” and have started working on accomplishing those items. I also enjoy working with my hands like you mentioned, so a few challenges I want to undertake are: building furniture, volunteering for Habitat, tackling new projects around my home, etc.

A couple weeks ago I accomplished one of the tasks on my list and overcoming that challenge was one of the best feeling I’ve had in awhile. I realized that I didn’t have it so bad at work and could explore other challenges on my own time. We’ve also worked hard at paying off debt and living frugally so when our second child is born, my wife can stay home (she’s P/T right now). It will be a decade or so until our mortgage is paid off, but just having that goal and seeing what options we’ll have when it is done keeps me motivated. Good luck to you and your family!

Change happens to everyone. In fact, the ultimate key to fulfillment is finding your own path. In a down market, lots of people feel lost, primary because the traditional career paths are gone. But this is an opportunity – forget someone else’s career ladder and go find your own.

Also, you dont need to make a dramatic change. Those I studied who successfully made The Leap were not daring risk takers – they were great risk mitigators. They used safe, simple steps toward a new path to eliminate the risk of the journey.

Rick Smith
twitter: @ricksmithauthor

I stumbled upon a neat website called iCould.com; it is short videos of people talking about what they do and how they got there. I love it because it opens up many ideas of what is possible and shows a wide variety of paths to a beloved career. Worth checking out if you aren’t sure what job/career you want.

Good luck Mike and others.

I’ve been fairly successful, Head of IT, managing thousands of staff and earning well over 6 figures.

Three years ago, I needed a new challenge but I knew I just couldn’t give up the job – I needed some money to live.

And someone recommended, “start earning a living on-line”. That’s when I started, 3 years ago. I must admit I thought I was going to become very rich overnight. I believed all the hype. I created my first product – being a First-Class Manager. Thought I’d sit back and watch the money come rolling in. It didn’t.

I knew this was going to be a hard slog. I created another product and another and another.

After 3 years of hard work in the evenings and weekends on my on-line business, while working full-time, I left the corporate world and now work for myself and I LOVE IT!

The income is a lot less (but I have plans for it grow!), but the freedom makes up for it. I still work long hours but I work when I want to.

So if you can, start a plan ‘b’. Start on something while you are also working full-time and earning some income.

It could pay off in the end.

Andrew

For, I’d save some money and sort out my financial situation, with the help of the high paying job. Quitting out of the blue doesn’t bring anything good.

Then, I’d try to pinpoint the exact problem. Is it the job itself (i.e the tasks), the level of stress, the responsibilities that bother me?

It’s important to assess the reasons for quitting to not make the same mistake again.

I decided some time ago to focus 40 hours on my day job and take the consequences of not working the hours my company demands to move up (regardless of whether you’re actually getting results – I get more results in 40 hours than many of my colleagues do in 60 or more). I’m much happier knowing I’m trying to escape from the bureaucracy and craft something I love to do. Of course, it helps that my tuition aid reimbursement period from my current employer is rapidly becoming shorter.

Along with “48 Days to the Work You Love”, I would also recommend Pam Slim’s “Escape from Cubicle Nation”. The book is geared toward people like me who want to start something on their own, but I think anyone looking for a career change can gain some excellent insight about having personal finances and career thoughts in order.

I earn six figures, but really don’t enjoy it. but i’ve started taking steps in a different direction. One thing that’s good to remember, is you don’t have to dump your day job all at once. if there’s a different field that appeals, take a course, read about it or something else…
The important thing is to start moving.

Just to echo what others have said, and a little from my own experience.

Don’t quit your job just because you think you can, otherwise you find out too late that you the “can” was “cannot”.
From what you have shared, it appears to me that he does not have enough money saved up to live a couple of months without additional income? I think that’s one of the things that you encourage your readers to do. Get rid of debt (may be except mortgage), save up so that you have a nice emergency fund, etc. So, may be that should be his starting point. Once he gets to that point, get fired or quitting his job may not be as bad.
In the mean time, while saving for rainy day, intended or otherwise, he should go to work cheerfully, put in all the hours needed to get the job done, thank God that he still has a nice paying job that’s supporting those he loves.

One last point is that, with the economy as bad as it has been and is projected to be, he has to consider the probability of get “manual-labor” jobs as an apprentice. From my understanding, it appears the housing industry and related occupations are not doing great.

For the moment, I think a bird in his hand is more than two in the bush.

My $0.02.

Don’t worry about what other people think. Do what’s best for YOU!

When I got out of university I worked at a job that I hated PLUS had low pay. I had to get out, and I did after a few months. My current job pays very well and isn’t 100% my dream job, but I am EXTREMELY grateful to have it. It will enable me to pursue my dreams (build a company), and I am trying to excel at it. I learn valuable skills daily that will help me with my company.

Try to look at your job as a means to get where you really want to. It makes it a bit more bearable. Whenever I find myself not loving my current job, I remember just how bad my previous job was, and that the money I am making is helping me get to where I want to be in life.

Try to remember that no job will be perfect, though. You will always have some gripe – that’s just the way life is. Hell, even Paris Hilton and Bill Gates have bad days, right?

Starting a side business like some others have suggested is a good idea too, I think. You know you like to work with your hands, but can you make money off of it?

Don’t listen to people who say that you should suck it up for the rest of your days. Why should you? But at the same time, you did choose to go into IT, you did choose to have a family (etc.), so the consequences of your choices dictate that it probably isn’t a good idea to simply jump ship to a lower paying job without serious planning and consideration. I also wonder why it’s always the lose-lose would you rather scenario of “Would you rather be miserable at a high paying job or happy at a lower paying one?” – why not be happy at a high paying job? Who says you have to make a lot less at a new job?

No one can tell you if you’re being lazy or immature or super-responsible; your wife’s and your feelings on the matter are all that are important. When you’re married, you’re a team: you against anyone stupid enough to take you on.

Whatever you decide to do, for heaven’s sake, don’t worry about having her “carry” you unless she does; and if she does, find out if it’s a long-term issue or a short-term one. In other words, while she might be willing to be the primary wage earner for X period of time, or while you are achieving Y goal, she would feel uncomfortable after that. That’s what’s important, not “manning up” or “following your bliss.”

Anyway, I crashed and burned in IT many years ago; I waited until I HATED going to work every day then enrolled in school. A week before I left, something blew up in my face. I went from having an excellent reputation there to costing the company thousands with no chance to fix things before I left. Word to the wise: avoid this. It’s bad. If you feel your work ethic slipping, it’s a huge sign of impending burnout.

You don’t have to be passionate about your whole job, by the way. You might consider getting some personality and learning style testing done; it helped me clarify why some things in my life made sense and generated pleasure and others didn’t (even though I thought they should). This knowledge freed me to realize it’s OK that my career isn’t selling what I love to do; honestly, there isn’t actually anything I love so much that I want to do it all day. I’m not lazy, I just don’t have an avocation. So I sell my most marketable skill to an employer that values me in a field that gives me a lot of variety and independence.

That said, here’s a coping strategy that I have found really works. Every day have at least one meal together with your family. Then, while you’re all together, have everyone list five things they’re grateful for. And every day, you have to have five NEW things. Gratitude is one of the things that research shows increases happiness.

1. My manager and I had a hard time communicating. He wasn’t a bad person, but from a different culture from my own, and the communication just did not flow. So even after he gave me excellent opportunities & a promotion, I still felt stuck.

2. My group was doing the same work over & over again. I need a change of pace. I didn’t feel like I was learning anything new or developing new skills.

So I approached another group in the company, spoke to the engineers that worked there about the manager, work environment, and what they did. I made a decision.

Now, no change is ever easy. Bringing this up to my current management, stand your ground when they promise “we have new opportunities coming up, you’re going to kick yourself in the head when you see what we’ll be doing”.

I switched groups, have a new excellent manager, and like (not love) my job, making the same as before.

This passion has taken me all over the world and money has never been an issue. The choices I have made along the way are not for everyone, but I am convinced that anyone can find meaning in their life and career if they choose in to the process.

How can I connect with Mike? I’d love to hear more of his story and encourage him along this way.

Mike, you can make the change. It may not happen overnight, but you can do it, and as your personal fulfillment and happiness increases, so will that of your family. We do bring emotional baggage from work home with us.

I made some drastic changes, and now telecommute and only work 32-35 hours a week. I only earn $50k a year, as does hubby, but we live well within our means. I’m much happier for the change and I have virtually no work related expenses, no time lost to commuting, and minimal office politics.

I went through some scary moments during the transition, and did a lot of soul searching. I came up with a small side business that gives me joy and extra fun $$. Life is NOT about how much you earn – only 40% of the Dutch (or is it Danes) work full time, yet they are some of the happiest people on the planet.

Make a plan, set it in motion, make the timeline realistic. But don’t settle, and don’t let fear dictate your actions!

Mike, find what you love to do. It sounds like you have a supportive family, and this is doable! Yes, look at the finances, and you are going about this the responsible way. So you can be thankful that you have a job, but look at it as providing you income while you come up with your escape plan. I know from my experience that it will make your job bearable just beginning to formulate a plan. Congratulations!