This article is by staff writer Adam Baker. Baker has recently come to realize that there will always be an excuse not to give if you look for one.
As the holiday season approaches each year, we’re reminded to reflect on those things we’re most thankful for.
Some of these remain consistent from year to year. Occasionally, a dramatic life experience — either positive or negative — will stir things up, adding new items to the list.
While this sort of reflection is useful, it has a bit of a downside. We can get stuck in a rut by making this only a mental game. We wipe our hands and pat ourselves on the back for taking the time to recount our yearly list of appreciation.
I’ve been guilty of this many times in the past. This year, though, I’ve been trying to brainstorm ways take the next step, turning gratitude into action.
You see, this is the first year my wife and I have celebrated Thanksgiving away from our families. In fact, we’re currently in New Zealand where the holiday, of course, isn’t celebrated or recognized. Honestly, I didn’t anticipate it would make a difference, but it’s actually caused even more self-reflection than usual this year.
As a result, I’ve challenged myself to create a tangible list of ways I can take my own thankfulness mindset and put it into action. The process worked well enough for me that I’d like to share it with you:
- Create a written list of the top 3-5 things you’re thankful for. Be as specific as possible. Rather than writing “family”, try to be more detailed. What about your family are you thankful for? Maybe you’re just thankful to still have employment after a series of layoffs. Maybe you’ve gained a tangible skill this year that’s enabled you to grow. Try to be specific (this helps the next part).
- For each item on the list, think of a tangible way you can pass it on. We’re not talking about changing the world, but just brainstorming small ways you can affect just one other person. If you’ve recently rented your first apartment, maybe you can donate time to a homeless shelter. If you’ve recently had a family member recover from a prolonged illness, maybe you could support a local program that does hospital visits. Obviously, your examples will reflect the issues that hit closest to home this year.
- Encourage family and friends to do the same. This is what I’m doing right now — simply sharing something that worked well for me. Just the small act of committing our thoughts to paper and brainstorming ways to make them tangible can help us make more of this holiday season for others. If it helps you, spread the idea even further!
No, it’s not complex. There’s no technology involved. It’s just a simple, straightforward reminder that the holiday season isn’t just about being thankful — it’s about finding ways we can spread that goodwill to others!
I hope everyone had fun-filled and fantastic Thanksgiving weekend!
This article is about Giving, Self-Improvement Saturday, 28th November 2009 (by Adam Baker)


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November 28th, 2009 at 11:43 am
It’s a great idea to go beyond reflection and moving to action. To become a force of change for someone else’s life is the most powerful action one could take for the holidays. To make it a habitual part of one’s life throughout the year is even more powerful. Great ideas! Will do this for Christmas!
November 28th, 2009 at 11:59 am
So… what acts are you doing?
November 28th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
@ Nicole
My top 3 things this year were the health & development of my 2-year-old daughter Milligan, the Man Vs. Debt online community, and NOT giving up while traveling so far (despite many opportunities to).
Here’s what I came up with (Courtney did this too for her). Donate time in an orphanage in Thailand (we have a friend who helps do this there), set-up an automation process to give 10% of MvD profits to charity every monthly (Charity: Water probably), and design a way to show affordable giving on a travel project on my blog. The last one would show how far a couple USD can go in a country like Thailand. By sharing it on my blog, I can combined travel with community and giving, etc…
What about you, Nicole?
November 28th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
We’re still trying to figure things out. We recently moved and are trying to get a feel on what the local opportunities are. Usually I like to tutor math. Maybe next semester.
As always, we donate to the no-kill shelter from which we got our kitties (yes, I know that no-kill shelters cannot solve the kitty problem, but for some number of kitties it provides a better life than the animal shelter… my general belief that it’s better to help in a small way than to give up on trying to solve a huge problem). We appreciate our kitties.
We value education and will be giving (as per usual) to the scholarship fund at my alma mater. We have also offered to donate to the 529 plans for the children of relatives that have been hit hard by the economic crisis, but haven’t been given the information we need to do that this year (we prefer the parents retain control of the plans rather than us). That has put us in a quandry, especially since the children’s grades always seem to go up after we contribute.
In this economic climate, we value a full stomach. We’ve been soft touches for food banks throughout the year, and will no doubt continue to be so.
As for encouraging other people… listing concrete examples helps, right?
November 28th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Absolutely! Thanks for inquiring and sharing!
November 28th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
This Christmas my husband and I are looking into volunteering at a homeless shelter or church. I was inspired by my sister. Just yesterday she organized and hosted a huge fundraiser that collected a bunch of coats, canned goods, and toys for a local shelter. She encouraged many performers to perform for free and was able to get free advertising as well. Unfortunately, she lives on the opposite coast from me, so I couldn’t attend. However, she inspired me to do something philanthropic over this coming holiday season!
November 28th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
I certainly agree that this time of year should be used as a time to reflect on where we’ve been and plan for how we can be better moving forward. It just fits with the season and the end of the calendar year.
Of course, this can apply to all aspects of our lives (like finances), but I see the most value when we look outward and form a plan to be more helpful to others. This could be our own family (including or spouse) or it could be an effort to change the world on a large-scale. Either approach is valuable and in line with the “reason for the season”!
November 28th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Great post Baker!
I’m going through the same situation you are. I don’t have any free income at the moment, but I’ve been helping out at the children’s hospital here in Atlanta once a week for the past year, and it’s been amazing. I tell ya, it’s tough to say “boy I had a bad day” after seeing what these poor kids are going through.
I think your suggestion to tie your site to a charity is fantastic. Although I haven’t made a dime through my site yet, I plan to eventually bring in some income, and I hope to do the same thing by partnering with a cause that I can get behind. I’ve begun research into some charities and organizations that I’d like to help, and beginning in 2010 I’ll start reaching out to them for different opportunities.
Thanks for the inspiration Baker!
-Steve
November 28th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Giving and donating your time is a very personal thing. There’s no right or wrong way, so nobody should impose their own wishes on others in this respect.
On the same token, nobody should have to defend themselves for what they’ve done. We all have our own ways.
Best,
Sam-urai
November 28th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Baker–I share your sentiment for trying to be much specific in our gratitude. When Thanksgiving came around this year, I found myself trying to be more introspective than usual and coming up with things to be thankful for. It’s something I hadn’t really done in past years.
I had a difficult time because I thought the “regular” things–like family and friends–were just too “cheesy” or somehow not “good enough.” It’s not that I don’t appreciate my family and friends–but like you, I was looking for a little more definition in my own mind of what that meant.
November 28th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
I would apply this idea to many other items. For example, too many people make a new year’s resolution but never take the first step. Too many people apologize but never take the first step to actually righting the wrong. Too many people talk about changing the world without ever taking that littlest step.
It’s easy to talk and it’s easy to do and yet for many people stop after the talk and never get to to the doing part.
November 29th, 2009 at 7:27 am
Adam, I love your focus on passing it on. I’m a passionate reader, and my husband and I are tutoring children from Somalia on their learning to read English (they had never learned to read in their native language). I didn’t realize til I read your piece that I’ve found a way to put my gratitude for the joy of reading into a constructive action.
Blessings to you.
November 29th, 2009 at 9:34 am
@ Baker
Interesting post, has a nice twist to it. Instead of just grazing over why you think it’s something you are thankful for you really need to sit and think about subject. Awesome!
Honestly, I have found that the more things that I’m thankful for the more good things come to me. Just a hint for all those that think the world is against them.
November 29th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I’m most thankful for all the help and support I get from my family. My Dad worked two jobs, my Mom baked and sold bread, worked a graveyard shift job and various other miscellaneous jobs to raise twelve children. My brothers and sisters are all working and earning good salaries. They help support my parents now.
For my part, I just moved to the midwest (helped by one of my brothers and his family)to live with my parents. I work full-time but cook meals, help with my Dad’s care, and try to jolly them up. That’s about all the good works I have energy to do right now.
I guess the point I’d like to make is that you can also do good by taking care of your extended family. I see many homeless men walking along I-70 on my way to work and I wonder if their families know where they are and how they’re doing.
November 29th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
This is fantastic. I’ve long been a proponent of giving both my time and money to charitable causes, but I had not previously considered the benefits of “paying forward” the skills and blessings that I’m getting the most of in my own life.
I’m totally, gratefully, stealing this for next year’s Gratitude Project: http://childwild.com/2009/11/26/giving-thanks/