I’m getting more requests this year for holiday tipping info than ever before. For example, Nina wrote: “Can you provide some guidelines for Holiday Tipping Etiquette for the holiday season? I’m at a complete loss…”
To be honest, I don’t know much about holiday tipping. It’s not something I was raised with. I covered it briefly in my guide to how much to tip, but I’m basically as in the dark as Nina is. To learn more about the subject, I did a little research. I learned that in some places and for some jobs, holiday tipping is customary.
The December 2009 issue of Consumer Reports includes a survey on holiday tipping habits. Housekeepers are by far the most commonly tipped profession. A full 75% of folks tip their cleaning person — and no wonder. More than half tip their child’s teacher. Other than that, holiday tipping is more sporadic. (Only 8% tip the trash collector.)
Here are some general holiday tipping guidelines:
- Holiday tipping is never required. Even when it’s the social norm, you shouldn’t tip if you can’t afford it or you don’t feel the person deserves it.
- Tipping tends to be more common (and on a larger scale) in big cities than in small towns. The best way to determine the etiquette in your area is to ask around.
- In general, you should consider giving a holiday tip to the folks who take care of your home and family, especially those you see often. The more often you see someone and the longer you’ve known them, the more you should tip. (Someone who works in your home regularly — such as a housekeeper — usually expects a tip.)
- For personal services like manicures, massages, pet grooming, and fitness training, tip up to the cost of one session, but only if you see the same person regularly. For example, if you get a $60 massage every six weeks, your holiday tip should be about $60.
- Public servants are not allowed to accept cash tips in the U.S., but it’s acceptable to give a non-cash gift of up to $20. You might give a plate of cookies to your mail carrier, for example, or a book or a gift certificate to your child’s teacher.
- When you give a tip, include a card or a hand-written note thanking the person for their service.
- If you tip cash, crisp new bills make a better impression than old wrinkly ones.
Here’s a list of people who often receive holiday tips and what they typically receive:
- Babysitter: one week’s pay
- Nanny: one week’s pay
- Housekeeper: one week’s pay
- Gardener: one week’s pay
- Doorman: $10 to $100, depending on what they do for you
- Garbage collector: $15 to $25
- Janitor: $15 to $25
- Newspaper delivery person: $15 to $25
- Parking attendant: $15 to $25
This is just a list of people who commonly receive holiday tips. Tipping service people with whom you have regular contact can build goodwill. Everyone likes to feel appreciated; we tend to remember the little gestures others make on our behalf. If you want to tip the bus driver, go ahead. Use your best judgment.
What’s your experience with holiday tipping? Is it customary in your area? Who gets tipped and how much?
Photo by mysza831.
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I don’t know anyone who does holiday tipping around here.
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I was a server to get through college, nannied, and cleaned house and never knew about this Holiday Tipping idea. I have lived in Alabama my whole life and cannot tell if this is a cultural expectation, or, as other posts have alluded to, an issue for those of a higher standard of living… I would like to say for those in Alabama and other places, your server’s pay check from the restaurant does not even cover taxes! If you are eating out on a big holiday, your server would much rather be with their family and friends than waiting on you, so a bit extra definitely helps our moral for the night! (sorry for the soap box proclamation)
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chacha1 said: “Those servers do not even make minimum wage and the tip is what keeps most of them solvent.”
It depends on the state. In several states (including mine) servers get a full minimum wage and tips are on top of that.
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I never tip out of obligation. I have a super awesome postal carrier – he brought me mail from another building (I moved two blocks away) after my forwarding already expired – he deserves something extra but I don’t know him well enough to get him an actual gift.
So I get him a gift certificate for the neighborhood coffee shop. Hopefully that way he can stop in for a cup if it’s too cold during a shift break.
As for my housekeeper – It’s my only luxury and she is invaluable. I really think that my partner and I might not still be together if not for her
So I like to get her a bar of chocolate and a bottle of wine. I know she likes those things – but again I don’t know her well enough to get her a gift – so it’s my small way of saying thank you for the hard work that you do and that we value you.
Dont’ tip if you don’t want to but don’t not tip someone whose service you value out of frugality. Even if you just give them a card it’s better than nothing.
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I’ve never tipped my trash collector, but I kind of want to… because they have hauled away a whole lot of crazy stuff. Rain soaked memory foam mattress pad, decrepit lawn mower, huge tower of rain soaked cardboard boxes, etc. Technically I’m allowed 96 gallons and 1 bulk item per week. But they take everything and anything I put out there. It’s such a nice feeling to see that empty curb. Some places you’d be lucky to get one bulk pick up in a year!
In the battle against STUFF, these guys are champions for me.
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My father works as a UPS driver in a commercial district. The companies there will tip him in the hundreds every time christmas comes around. I guess companies really value having a driver who doesn’t destroy their packages.
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It seems like the same people who always object to tipping always do so on the same principle: they feel they should not have to pay “extra” to a person who is already compensated for doing their job. Can we get over this already? Tipping makes me feel good. It’s a way of rewarding the actual person who provides me with excellent service. Postal carriers work extra hard around the holidays to get all of our gifts and cards to our loved ones on time. And babysitters and nannies take responsibility for OUR CHILDREN when we’re not around. If we give cards and gifts to family members we never see or friends we don’t particularly care for, why skimp on the people who watch your kid or your dog or keep your building safe?
I’m not saying you have to break your budget out of a sense of obligation, but the holidays are the time to look around you, be thankful to all the people who make your life easier, and show them you appreciate them. Holiday tipping is a GIFT, not a payment. And if it isn’t the norm where you live, obviously it’s not expected and this article doesn’t apply to you.
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I feel so sad when I read all of these comments. The holiday tip is a way of saying thank you for doing a good job this past year and showing them that you appreciate them. Some of these people do not make minimum wage and require tips, like servers in restaurants to make above minimum wage, and servers tips are often shared with other workers like bus boys or bartenders. I was raised that if you didn’t have money to leave a tip at a sit down restaurant, then you need to go to McDonalds.
The amount you tip or what you give them can be different than what is listed based on how often you see them and how good of a job they do. My entire family sees the same hairstylist every six weeks, so why would I not give her something extra or a little present at the holidays? The same goes for my daughter’s dance instructor and her daycare providers. They see us daily/weekly and provide excellent service. In a way, they are an extension of my family, so I treat them as such.
If you don’t have a lot of money, why not bake cookies or something of that nature. It’s the thought that counts. It’s the holidays, and it is about taking care of one another.
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I have to agree with PK (#7) and Tyler (who’s comment about 19th century England made me laugh) – I’ve only heard of holiday tipping by reading personal finance blogs. Maybe it’s because I’m a big DIYer and don’t employ all these service people. I have a mail carrier and a garbage company, but the actual people driving the trucks varies by the day/week.
I tipped myself an Ipod Touch for Christmas this year, does that count?
I will say my wife, a preschool teacher, gets a ton of gift cards from her students’ parents. It is nice since we usually eat our weekly “out of the house” meal for free until about March.
I guess my “rule” is if I encounter anyone who goes above and beyond my expectations for doing their job, I’ll tip them – or at minimum send them a nice note of appreciation.
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I’m curious about the folks who say they’ve only heard about holiday tipping on blogs. I’ve never really seen it mentioned outside financial magazines, like Money and its siblings. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen it mentioned on a blog before.
In any event, it’s something I’ve been hearing more about lately, and it’s something I don’t particularly care for. I can see doing it in certain instances, but to make it a general rule? Meh.
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Sorry, I am perplexed by the holiday tipping thing too. Never heard of anyone doing it, not in my entire life. Of course, I live in a flyover state!
I buy a christmas (& birthday) present for our daily babysitter/nanny, and I give a couple bottles of wine to the housecleaners at christmas. I also give gift cards to my secretary and other office employees. I never really thought of these as tips, though–just “thank yous” to people and friends that always come through to help me when I’m in a pinch.
I can’t imagine tipping the mailman or garbage men–I never see either of them. I don’t have a gardener–I use a snow removal service in the winter but it’s always a different guy each time driving the mini tractor. I tip my hairdressor 20% or more whenever I see her–but that’s only about 4X/yr so usually doesn’t happen around the holidays. I always tip 15-20% for waiters and cabdrivers.
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Based on these comments, holiday tipping seems wonderful where there is a real relationship and it’s basically a gift exchange and an extra show of appreciation. In other cases, it sounds like extortion (especially when someone really can negatively impact one’s life, like a door person) and an oppressive social custom. It’s also rather arbitrary. Lots of people provide services who don’t make the typical “tipping lists” including accountants, lawyers, healthcare providers, fast food workers, car washers, and hundreds of other professions. And plenty of “professionals” like some accountants earn less than unionized laborers. The whole system strikes me as arbitrary and odd.
If I know someone well, including a service provider, and want to give him/her a gift, I’ll give a gift. If I want to tip someone, I’ll do that whenever I partake of his or her services throughout the year.
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I’m the resident manager at a small apartment building. Ostensibly my job is just to keep an eye on the place and do things for the owners. However, I do extras for tenants such as sign for packages, show them how to fix their garbage disposals (“showing” them means I pretty much end up doing the work), take in and store mail when people are on long trips, etc. I’ve also done some REALLY beyond-the-call-of-duty stuff, such as being awakened at 2 a.m. by a frantic phone call from an out-of-town tenant whose car had just been towed and who needed a copy of the car’s title retrieved from the apartment and faxed to the towing company.
No tenant has ever tipped me. Then again, I don’t really expect it. I’d probably be stunned if anyone did.
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Jay@24
Just goes to show you how unclear/random this tipping thing is. I grew up in Pittsburgh and my parents were big tippers (wait staff, bellman, limo driver, etc.) but I never remember them tipping the garbage collectors.
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I love the idea of showing appreciation for those who work for you closely & regularly and with whom you have a relationship. I don’t have any of these things despite living in NYC and Chicago (I don’t even have a hairdresser) but if I did, I’d be more than happy to show them my appreciation.
I suppose I do have a postal worker but it seems to be always a different person and they all do a terrible job, so I’ve never really considered tipping them. Maybe my mail wouldn’t get shredded if I shelled out some cash…
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Wow! I had no idea some of the holiday tips were so much money. I have a babysitter and a house cleaner for this first time this year and at least now I have a better understanding.
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To those wondering how to tip the trash collector. We put $ or a gift card in an envelope with a card and put it in a clear zip lock bag which I tape with packing tape to the top of the trash can. I guess someone could see and steal it but that is so low and it’s not a large tip. I hadn’t heard about tipping trash and recycling guys until my friend told me a few years ago. I now have a much easier time if my boxes aren’t tied or I have big items…
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Lauren@24, ChaCha1@42, & Evelyn@64
I have heard from several people, in different neighborhoods that you should trip the trashman. And these neighborhoods are across the socioeconomic spectrum.
If we have a large amount of trash like spring cleaning day or leaf removal my dad will often be waiting for them on the curb, help them load it, and then tip them. We have thrown out couches, appliances, grills, and 40 bags of leaves and they have never left anything. That includes different drivers, they all seem to know my dad will take care of them and they make sure our stuff gets picked up.
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@Brent 14 and 22 — I think if you took the approach you do in #14, you will benefit the company and the bureaucracy but not the employee who helps you and works with you directly. The company is not going to pass that money down to the employee — in a world of “standardized pricing and labor liquidity” why should they? I don’t want to have my world Walmartized and so I will continue to build social and economic relationships with individuals, not with firms and corporations.
And @22 — obviously tipping is for the people who factor big in your world. Try not to take JD’s suggestions so literally. He’s not a tyrant trying to make you do things you don’t want to do. He says himself, in the article: “This is just a list of people who commonly receive holiday tips… Use your best judgment.”
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JD it is NOT illegal for teachers to get monetary gifts. Only the post office has that tag.
42.chacha1 when the last minimum wage law went into effect all servers and bussers are required to be paid AT LEAST minimum wage. Tips are on top of that. My nephew cleared $60,000 working at a nice place one year. Slightly double what the teacher at the local school made.
I tip for good service. I don’t tip my mail delivery peson- it changes all the time. My garbage man is union and makes the same amount as me….
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@JD – I think I’ve heard about holiday tipping previously from Free Money Finance, but he rehashes magazine article for most of his posts anyway, so you’re probably right about the idea coming from Money or similar.
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It really makes me happy to tip someone who is not expecting it. I usually give any holiday tips 2 or 3 weeks before the holiday so i can be the first one, and I tip more than what would be expected. reputation is important to me. Good service will follow, but a tip is a thank you for service Already received.
John DeFlumeri Jr
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I think part of the amount of a tip should depend on how much time and personal service they give you. A newspaper carrier can have up to several hundred customers. It seems like $5 should be plenty.
If everyone gave them that much, they’d have enough to buy a new tv and not just a “little bit” extra. Other people don’t have the time to have “lots and lots” of potential clients (like housekeepers/nannies), so the gift would be naturally bigger. At least, I’d assume that.
But I come from a family that never gave out tips, though I thought a small tip to the mailman or newspaper person would be neat, but I mean, small like $5, figuring if “everyone did”, it would be a great Christmas bonus for them.
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Some of these professions don’t make much sense. If you tip your hairdresser every time you see them, why do they get a holiday tip? I understand a gift if you have a close personal relationship but some of the other people aren’t getting anything all year long. The one that makes the most sense to me is the doorman and here’s why. Doorman often do much more than just the simple job. They may walk you to your car, get packages from your car, make sure that the maintenance staff is attentive to your needs, etc. We had some great doormen when we lived in a highrise and it made perfect sense to tip them. But if they don’t do anything extra for you, then don’t tip them.
Realistically though, many people are having a tough time making ends meet in this deep Recession. If you aren’t getting a bonus or a raise this year, its hard to want to turn around and dole out dozens of holiday tips.
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I am an expatriate living in Indonesia where the norm is to tip one month’s salary every year to everybody who works for you (At Idul Fitri – sort of like Islamic Christmas). This includes everyone from Maids, Drivers, Security guards to anybody else who directly or indirectly provides you with a service.
It gets expensive but you learn to include it in your yearly budgeting.
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I’m surprised your favorite bloggers are not on the list to be tipped. They work hard all year on delivering information and entertainment …
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We give gift cards to our son’s regular child care givers, and when he is in school someday, I plan to give to his teachers. But I don’t even know who our mailman is or if it is the same person usually. I don’t think you should have to tip faceless people or those that you don’t have a regular relationship with.
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We usually tend to load up tipping at the holiday season, but I have a bit of a different thought about that.
Most people on the receiving side of tipping are pretty flush this time of year because of the trend toward holidy specific tipping. But it might be better to wait until Jan or Feb, when our own cash flow is back to normal, and tip workers tips are down. You can even give it to them in a Christmas envelope, and maybe even a litte more than you could at the holiday because you don’t have money going out all over the place.
Bet that’ll be appreciated every bit as much as the holiday tips!
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Actually, thanks for posting this. We live in grad student housing and our building manager is just the greatest. I’d still feel weird giving him money, but I do think I’ll go ahead and bake something for him and his family… wasn’t sure if that would be appropriate. I had no clue it might be _expected_.
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I only ended up tipping a few people this time of year. Our trash guys (its been the same two for at least three years now) get $30 each and in return they will take anything we leave out, ring the doorbell if the can isnt there, and have even helped carry the big stuff out of the garage. Its been invaluable to me and my husband. We get milk delivered so he gets a tip and then we take breakfast to our service manager and his crew at the car repair place.
I dont tip because its expected but because I appreciate these people and the value that they add to my life.
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I’ve never done holiday tipping. I don’t really have regular people to tip. This year I’m going to tip the pet sitter, she’s new to my household this year and has been a lifesaver. I was thinking about leaving some cookies and a starbucks gift card and a note on the table for when she is here over new years.
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I suppose it’s really up to the individual—if the person in question makes your life more enjoyable somehow, why not show your appreciation? The only thing that makes the issue irksome is that people have come to expect and feel entitled to an extra holiday tip. Kinda sucks the joy of giving right out of it.
I have occasionally done holiday tipping—I’ve always looked at it as a holiday bonus for service providers where the direct recipient of the service is not the company they work for. For example, I’m a book editor and I would be shocked if a reader sent me a holiday tip for the work I do because my work flows back into the publishing process and the company I work for. (Though, on occasion, we have had individual authors send holiday gifts as thank yous for editing work.)
However, if the service provider is someone I would normally tip as part of their service (e.g., hairdresser or parking attendant) I do not give an additional bonus at the holidays. A babysitter or housekeeper would probably be an exception, but since I don’t use either of those services, it’s moot.
For the first time in years it seems we have a regular postal carrier (and we actually get our mail!). I see her every morning as I leave for work and we exchange greetings, so I will probably give our postal carrier something this year. My parents used to tip the rubbish collectors each year, but that was back when they had to get out of the truck, lift the can, and actually interact with people. Nowadays, instead of a 2-person team it’s usually just 1 and they sit in the cab of the truck operating levers that do all the physical work for them and there’s no need to get out of the truck and run the risk of actually having to talk to anyone. While it’s still a service, it is so automated I don’t feel compelled to give a bonus.
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We work as part-time janitors for a large accounting office and a law firm. We’ve never been tipped. We’ve been working for them for about 7 years, faithful and reliable as can be (and we don’t snoop – you’d be amazed at the private information left lying around). Oh well…tip or not, we’ll continue to dust the photos of their glamorous vacations.
I’ll add one more service person to the list of those to consider tipping – the farrier (that’s a horseshoer). We finally found a reliable one – we definitely want to keep him!
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It isn’t really customary down here in my area (Well its the Caribbean) to do Holiday tipping. Though, I’ve found when I have done so I’ve made a loyal friend.
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I’m delighted to be the recipient of holiday gift giving. I babysit for a family, and the mom always gives me a gift certificate (usually a bit more than one week’s work) and “personal” gifts, like jewelry, baked goods, etc. I tell her she doesn’t need to, but she says the same thing every time – YOU TAKE CARE OF THE MOST VALUABLE THING IN MY LIFE.
I think that’s smart. Is your babysitter going to up and steal your kid because you didn’t leave a tip at Christmas? No, I can’t see that happening, and hopefully you checked them out. But when you’re a parent, you’re paranoid about everything, and I can see the logic of trying to make sure the people who take care of your family are happy.
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Federal employees may not accept gifts for doing their jobs. Tipping your mail carrier forces him or her into a compromising position.
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J.D.: Non-financial magazines (eg. Real Simple, Oprah, Good Housekeeping, etc.) also cover this topic. Personal finance blog-wise, Bargaineering recently covered it, as did FrugalZeitgeist (which linked to a three-part series on holiday tipping etiquette on the financial blog on NYT). Also on Curbed (a real estate blog in NYC, where this sort of thing is widely practiced/debated):
http://curbed.com/archives/2009/11/30/deck_the_halls_with_holiday_handouts.php
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Wow, this post has generated a lot of emotion!
When I was delivering newspapers, I was amazed at the number of people who didn’t tip…I always assumed they thought I was paid by the paper. Paper carriers are independent, using their own cars/gas to deliver. Believe me, cash tips are very welcome!
It is my understanding that tipping is given to those who provide a personal service, but not the owner of a business. So, my haircutter who owns the shop gets nothing while her employees, if one of them cut your hair, would receive a tip. I do tip my housekeeper at Christmas, I do not give her extra each time she comes. My paper carrier I tip regularly each month, as there is a lot of turnover in that business. I also give a little extra at Christmas. At my local eatery where I am a regular, I tip generously throughout the year but do not tip at Christmas. I did notice as a paper carrier that the big houses gave me nothing or very little while the more modest houses were generous. I found that to be an interesting social comment.
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I tip my hairdressers – my colorist and the hairdresser who does my perms etc – generously throughout the year. I also tip my aesthetician generously, so why is it that I should tip more at the holidays? I love them dearly and I think I show that each time I go to them for service. But I am curious as to where this custom came from – and also curious to know why wouldn’t a hairstylist give the client a gift? After all, if I tip regularly, have been loyal for many years, then why shouldn’t I get a little token to say “thanks for sticking it out with me.” There are a ton of hairstylists and aestheticians that are quite good, but I remain loyal. So why not me?
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I am FAAAAR from rich, but I have found that to maintain my sanity I had to build into my budget enough money to pay for a housekeeper every other week. Yes it is a luxury, but I didn’t hire her to polish my Bentley or anything.
Anyway, I bristle at both of the two extremes…”you must be rich if you pay people to do things for you, so you’d better tip really well” and “people do things for me because I pay them. Why would I pay more?”
You know that bonus or that gift or those hours you get off during the holidays, or even just the fact that you get to wear a holiday shirt and jeans to work…? THAT feeling. THAT is why you tip. To anyone else out there who has ever received a surprise holiday tip, or even a surprisingly generous everyday tip…you know that delight…so you tip someone who will appreciate it; someone who means something to you.
Or don’t tip. Whatever. I doubt many people would be shocked NOT to receive a tip.
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I tip my paper carrier $50 a year, at Christmas. That’s about 15%, which is the norm for services received. They get up in the middle of the night, 6 days a week, 52 weeks a year and put up with all kinds of nasty weather. If you can afford it, anything less is shameful IMO.
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Rodger, I wish that you’d been on my route when I was delivering! I NEVER saw a $50 tip, and I was a great carrier! I’m sure your carrier appreciates your generosity!
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WOW…I was reading through these and can’t believe the amount of occupations that get tips. I tip my hairdresser and newspaper carrier.
Some people have the money to be financially generous. I am a dog groomer, and yes as a general rule we get tips. At Christmas I usually put together some type of cute gift for my clients that I work all year on to thank them for their continued service. But I in no way expect christmas tips (or tips of any sorts) I do appreciate them, but do not expect them. I have one client who made me pot scrubbers, someone picked up a dog calendar, someone got me a dog book. I like the creativity of the gifts. And by no means do I expect or want lavish gifts. I know my clients appreciate me, and just a thank you card at christmas means a lot! So in my opinion if you can afford the tip it is greatly appreciated, but I do not treat the dogs any different when their owners do not tip!
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One weeks pay!!!? That’s not a tip, that’s a bonus. It should be referenced as a small holiday gift, rather than a “tip”. These people get full salaries, not $2 an hour! I would compare it/value it to buying the person lunch for casual, like mail carrier, trash collector. And a nice dinner for more common like housekeeper, nanny. So $10-20 or $40-50. Cash if they are allowed or restaurant/gift card. A weeks’ pay to the yard guy… sheesh.
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