Ask the Readers: Do You Buy Christmas Gifts For Your Spouse?
Published on - December 17th, 2009 (by Adam Baker) This article is by staff writer Adam Baker. Baker recently listed the Top 10 Money Movies of the Decade.
At this point, I hope you’ve done most of your Christmas shopping (and/or making). Only the brave or the foolish have yet to form a holiday shopping plan of attack. *looks around* Alright, so I have a minor confession to make: Courtney and I don’t buy gifts for each other.
To put it more bluntly, we just ignore the issue. We vaguely talked about it (albeit a couple years ago now), but somewhere in the mix we started assuming that we wouldn’t exchange them.
If I remember correctly, we actually did exchange at least a little something before our daughter was born. We never were big purchasers, though. I’d say we might have exchanged one or two small gifts at most during the dating years. These days, it seems as if every year we have a new excuse to skip exchanging (and certainly purchasing) presents.
Take this year for example. We’ll be spending Christmas backpacking around the South Island of New Zealand. Over the couple days around Christmas, we’re splurging for a bit more expensive lodging than normal to have internet access (for family back home mostly). We’ve decided this will be our gift.
Last year, we were saving for our big trip and decided to not exchange or buy gifts for each other. The year before that, we were getting ready for the baby. Before that it was the wedding. My point is not to give you my life story (although it does seem a little busy now that I write it), but to show how it was so easy for us to fall into a routine.
And it’s not necessarily all bad. But I’d be lying to say there wasn’t part of me that wishes we had a slightly different policy for Christmas gifts. It would be cool to see what Courtney would get me if left to her own brainstorming. And I’m sure she’d be eager to see what I’d come up with.
I guess we want to make certain we don’t buy into the consumerism hype. We’re trying to keep our possessions extremely minimal and light while traveling, but that doesn’t automatically exclude everything from our wishlists.
A couple options I thought up for our married-life Christmas approach:
- Keep things the same. Keep focusing on the our project type of mentality. Focus on doing something special together like an event or activity, but that is mutually planned (and thus has no surprise).
- Exchange gifts without any restrictions. We know people who fall into this category. Each spouse is trusted to spend or alternatively get creative in whatever way they see fit. There’s no similar budget set ahead of time or planning out of the gifts at all. This would be particularly hard for us to do as we have 100% joint finances and wouldn’t consider changing that.
- Exchange specific pre-planned gifts. A lot of people we know fall into this category, as well. They buy each other gifts, but in reality each spouse actually picks out their own. That seems kind of lame to me, especially when it’s between two spouses. It’s basically just allocating more splurge money for yourself. That’s fine, but its not really what we are looking for.
- Exchange gifts under budget restrictions. This seems like the most realistic option for us. We already define a set amount for ‘blow’ money each month. By increasing this slightly for Christmas and purchasing our gifts in cash (if possible), we could still have surprises even with joint finances. We could set the restrictions low if we wanted to focus on being creative to save money.
I’m not afraid to admit that a bit of consumerism would be a little refreshing for us. Actually, exchanging a reasonable gift (probably just a single decent one) wouldn’t be the end of the world — and it might add a little enjoyment to the process.
Obviously, we wouldn’t want to fall off the other side of the wagon and go crazy at the local mall. (Although this seems unlikely given our borderline scroogish history.)
Even if we decided to continue to forgo spending money or even exchanging gifts at all, I’d like to become a little bit more targeted with our approach. Maybe we could pay for a babysitter and spend the evening volunteering in some way together. At the very least we could look back and say, we did XYZ for Christmas two years ago. That seems better than we were saving up for our trip or we bought some bedding for the crib.
Who knows…maybe I’m just suffering from a bit of the consumerism fever this year around. What do you think? What system do you and your significant other employ for swapping Christmas gifts? Do you have any creative ideas we can adopt?
J.D.’s note: I’m going to make an embarrassing public confession. I’m the lamest husband ever when it comes to gifts. I want to give Kris something thoughtful and nice — but I don’t. This year, especially, I’m the king of lameness. Kris ordered matching luggage for us. I’m paying for half. That’s our Christmas gift exchange. I feel like I need some sort of intervention, so I’m eager to hear your advice for Adam in the comments.
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We really like experience gifts. Our main gifts this year are tickets. He took me to Jersey Boys and I bought tickets for him to the Celtics. The tickets were not very expensive as we didn’t get the best seats but we enjoy spending this time together on a “Christmas date night.” Sometimes the ticket is picked out and sometimes it is a surprise and the receiver is asked to keep a certain night available. It’s great fun and there is no stuff!
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This is really for J.D.:
I think the best gifts are well thought out. That may or may not mean actually buying something. I’ve been reading GRS for a LONG time now and based on what I know about you and Kris, this is what I’d consider:
1. Go somewhere with her — spend time with her doing something you’ll both enjoy. It can be somewhere close, somewhere inexpensive. I remember reading a post you wrote at some point that said something like, if you knew you had little time left what you would regret was not having spent more time with Kris. You could make that your gift, to her and to yourself. Have a nice meal somewhere she’d like. Go visit a museum with her — find somewhere to go, something to do, that you know she would really enjoy.
2. Write to her. You’re a writer, and a fine one at that. Write her a letter telling her all the things you want to be sure she knows.
You know your wife better than anyone else. Think about something that would mean a great deal to her and do that.
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“We’ll be spending Christmas backpacking around the South Island of New Zealand.”
I honestly can’t think of a better gift than that.
I’m single, but I’m slowly moving away from obligatory gifts and toward thoughtful gifts. If there is something you know she really wants, needs, or would love, go ahead and pick it up. You don’t need to tell her, she doesn’t need to reciprocate – it is a GIFT after all.
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I’ll repeat the advice I always spout when people want gift ideas without spending a lot of money: surprise them. In my experience, that’s the greatest gift you can give. It has nothing to do with money, but that feeling of “Wow, this person worked hard to totally surprise with _______! That’s awesome!”
It’s the greatest feeling in the world, and I mean to give it. Receiving it looks fun too.
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My wife and I have 100% joint finances as well, and we do a budget for gifts to each other. We were talking about this topic last night, actually. We get a lot of joy out of coming up with gift ideas, then bargain-shopping to see how far we can stretch those budgets.
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Budget is the best. The smaller the budget, the more inventive and thoughtful you have to be.
Coupons for backrubs or special dinners, or remembering their favorite candy bar are all going to be much more significant and special than some random gadget or cooking appliance.
We’ve done very well with budgets over the years, and have adjusted them for things like planned trips or other large purchases. This year we didn’t pick a budget, and I’m afraid we’re going to out-do each other trying to just keep up with hints.
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My husband and I always exchange gifts. To me, much of the joy of the season comes from focusing on others and trying to think of ways to make them happy, so I would feel like I’d missed out completely on the holiday if we either didn’t give each other gifts or if we preplanned the exact gifts we wanted.
Each year, we discuss a specific budget, and stick to it. We discuss things we’d like, but usually the other spouse keeps an eye out for something unexpected. For example, my husband was really sad this year bc his friend was supposed to come for a visit. I was able to arrange that the friend will be coming in June and that they will be going to see a band that they loved in high school. My husband will not be expecting this at all, so I can’t wait for him to see it.
The only thing we did pre-discuss this year was our Santa gifts. Normally Santa does bring the “biggest” gift in our house, but to save money, we decided on getting something for the household. The cost is less than what we normally spend on each other, and it’s something we both wanted to get anyway.
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We exchange gifts at Christmas under a strict budget limit with the focus not being on spending all that is in the budget. Our budget this year is $80 per person and if I can find the perfect, thoughtful gift for $40, then that will be it and I won’t just spend the other $40 because that was in the allowance.
On birthdays we focus on experiences instead of gifts. We have a budget for $100 for each others birthday and we spend that money doing something we wouldn’t ordinarily do like go to a show or eat at a nice restaurant or try to cook a nice meal with ingredients that we couldn’t normally afford. It works well for us.
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My wife and I have 100% joint finances as well, and I do all the financial managing, so my wife always uses cash when buying me presents. We haven’t had a set plan year after year, but we generally stick to a loose budget based on where we are financially (or where we think we are, as it’s only been since earlier this year that we’ve been really trying to get our finances under control).
This year I told her not to spend much money on me, as I’m trying to pay off my car and would rather have the money for that, but I know she has spent some money on a gift for me. I’ve gotten her a couple gifts, but not what I originally planned on, since it just doesn’t fit into the budget this year. I couldn’t imagine not giving some sort of gift to her. For Christmas and birthdays, we usually do gifts, but our anniversary is usually a joint gift for both of us, or an experience we’ll both really enjoy; usually something more expensive than either of us would spend the money on otherwise. We might think about doing an experience gift in years to come, though.
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My husband and I exchange gifts almost only with each other! We get something small for my sister and his parents, but for each other, we go all out. We both maintain detailed Amazon wish lists, and birthdays and Christmas are when we get to receive the more frivolous of those items (and anything else that’s been hinted at or guessed!). Most of the stuff we get is stuff we probably would have bought anyway, but its so much fun to get it all under the tree! And offcourse there are the surprises that the other person never would have thought of…
we’re just big gift givers, I guess, but only to each other!
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We don’t buy gifts for each other this year either.
In my fiancée’s family it is not tradition to give Christmas gifts and she hates shopping for presents because she finds it hard to decide what would be right for the receiver. So although I find it a bit strange, we decided to save the money and not buy each other anything this Christmas.
The good thing is that during part of the Christmas days we will be in Prague, where things are very inexpensive, which leaves room for a nice dinner at a good restaurant, just the two of us
This year I spend the equivalent of 100USD on presents for the rest of the family. They know that we are in an all time low until I graduate and find a job, so they don’t expect a lot of expensive stuff.
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My wife and I, when we were just starting out, limited our gifts to each other to one christmas ornament that had some significance to the prior year. (We didn’t really have anything to put on the tree other than generic bulbs). We’ve continued that tradition and, now its alot of fun to look back at what all of the ornaments represent (babies, trips, etc.) and makes trimming the tree more personal.
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A trip is a great gift, an experience instead of stuff to sit around. Mr Chiots and are too practical to buy gifts. We occationally buy things for each other, but not really. We often end up buying something we need for each other as a gift, but we’d buy it anyways.
I love reading everyone’s ideas and the ways they do things – wonderful!
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My husband and I set a budget and mostly go off of our Amazon wish lists, but we also try to find fun little things that we know the other person will enjoy or be surprised about.
JD, I also think Beth (#2) had some great ideas for you.
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No, but I do buy a Chanukah present for my spouse.
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In the past, we’ve basically increased our blow money for the month and treated it like gift money that each person can spend on whatever they want for themselves. Neither of us really speak the “receiving gifts” love language so neither of us is bothered by it and we both end up being able to pick out what we want.
This year, I decided the kids (ages 3 and 5) might find it odd that there aren’t gifts under the tree for mommy and daddy so we discussed some potential items and used part of our budgets for gifts to placed under the tree. We’ll each still have some cash to add to our personal blow money, but not as much as in the past.
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We celebrate Hannukah, which in my family is not a gift giving holiday apart from some small tokens. However, we do make a big deal about birthdays. We also share 100% finances. In our case, its not so much hiding the spending or amount as we don’t do too extravagent purchases, but hiding what the gift is so its a surprise. We also try to do experiences or non-item gifts like massages or classes. I did get caught this year with one gift when I ordered it with my DH’s user, went into his email to erase the email documenting the order, but then he got the email on shipment… This year his “big” gift was a indi movie of the month club.
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Yes, we do. These have run the gamut from VERY simple to not so simple. One year my husband went into a Whole Foods, I think it was, and bought several small food items like fancy jellies, crackers, etc. He wrapped each individually and gave them to me all in a bag. It was great fun to unwrap each of his choices, laugh and exclaim over them. Another year he totally blew me away by presenting me (us, really) a new stereo system. (!!!) I typically get him a special calender for his office and some books I know he will like. The complicating factor is that our anniversary is Dec. 23 so we are celebrating both at once.
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I think it depends on the person. For some people, gifts are the most important thing in the world. A gift is the most powerful expression of pure love for these people. In that case, I would give them tons of gifts!
But other people don’t care about gifts at all. They would be a good candidate to eliminate the gift giving process.
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We decided to go with the activity gift this year. A show and dinner. Between kids and the house, not much left for our toys but a guilt free day out is nice.
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We don’t buy holiday (birthday/Xmas) gifts for each other willy-nilly. We only buy if there is something we know the other would like or has wanted. For example, my birthday was a few weeks ago and all I asked for was for him to cook me my favorite meal, and that is what I received. I think this saves a lot of money on useless gifts we won’t use, and we aren’t any less happy.
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We generally buy one gift for the two of us jointly. In fact, our parents usually send us money for Christmas, so we will often add that in as well to get something REALLY nice.
As our kids are getting older, we are starting to make sure that there are some presents under the tree for us too. So we each make a list of possible gift items, not just for each other to buy but for the kids to buy us as well. We usually keep that as smaller stuff so that we can still buy ourselves the joint gift though.
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Since we got married, we do not normally buy each other holiday gifts (or birthday, anniversary or Valentines). We sometimes buy a joint gift, something for the home, something we can use together or we put money into our vacation/travel fund. This year we bought a new digital camera and we are counting that as our Christmas gift.
Our budget is joint but we each have an allowance that we use for day to day spending so suprise gifts would likely need to come out of the allowance money. I do sometimes buy gifts for Mr. Sam but most often its during the year and it something perfect that I’ve come across.
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I try to ask my wife every year and she refuses to do the gifting thing. She wants an experience gift instead. So we’ve decided to start a tradition of going on a weekend getaway in a local campground. Nothing fancy. Our daughter’s gonna be with grandma and we’ll be in a rented cabin and spend some nice quiet time together.
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We usually go with a symbolic gift. I might get her a book at a used bookstore for $5.00. Or one year she and the boys said a Novena (a set of prayers said each day for a specified number of days) for the success of my internet business. We don’t spend any significant sums of money on anyone other than the two boys (and even there we let grandparents and aunts and such play a significant role and aim to keep the materialism to some sort of reasonable limit).
Rob
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My wife and I have always given each other gifts (and have always had shared finances). We’ve usually gone with a rough budget number (and also have both usually exceeded it by a bit). However, this year we’re in a bit of a tighter financial situation, so the budget is less and a bit more strict.
I can’t imagine not getting each other something. I’m appalled at the people who don’t buy gifts for each other (or let the other pick their own gift) because it’s “too hard.” Isn’t that sort of the point – that you were willing to put some effort into finding a good gift??
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We don’t exchange gifts either. Instead, we go visit family: my parents one year, my husband’s the next. We didn’t plan it this way, but the effect of the travel has been that for us the holiday season is about reconnecting with loved ones, not spending money. In fact, this year our total gift budget is $100. We spend $25 on each of our four nieces and nephews.
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My suggestion for JD: women like it when you cook for them, and it hardly costs anything. When my husband and I have a special day, one of us often makes the other one a nice meal and then we get to sit and enjoy it together. For the holidays you could dress it up a bit.
Also, last year I attempted this gift of a CD I had burned of myself reading a book to my mother. The problem was that it takes a long time to read something aloud (easy to forget if you never do it), so I recommend choosing a short book. She really liked it even though I only got through a few chapters and it is already a year later… how time flies. p.s. to record the readings I used a freeware program I found online.
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I’m single, but for my immediate family I love to do more homemade or thoughtful gifts. I’ve started making digital scrapbooks and printing out a copy for each family member of the fun experiences we did that year. Or I’ll try to paint (*cough*–it’s impressionism, really!) a landscape from a great photograph someone took. Or make a collage of various photos for the wall. Much of my family is like this: for graduation my sister and I both got homemade quilts made of old clothes from when we were growing up, with squares of pictures of us at various ages and various important scenes from childhood. Useful AND thoughtful!
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My husband and I don’t give Chanukah gifts to each other. In my family, this holiday is considered to be more for the children then for the adults, so while we go all out for the kids, the adults just get joy in watching them enjoy themselves.
Truly, if there is something I want, I just get it.
For birthdays and anniversaries, I really love just going out on a “date” to a nice restaurant and enjoying the time spent together.
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We haven’t exchanged Christmas presents since 1983 when we moved away from our families. When my husband asked that year what I wanted for Christmas, I told him to just get me back home during the Christmas season to visit. And that’s what we’ve given each other every year since – usually a two-week trip. He did surprise me one year with a console tv, but that was a gift for the whole family as well and our old tv had died. And one year he replaced the lost diamond in my engagement ring without telling me and gave it to me for Christmas. I just try to keep him supplied with home-made Christmas goodies!!
Birthdays and anniversaries are celebrated with a dinner out.
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Sometimes we do, sometimes we don’t. This year we went to NYC after T-giving – that’s our gift to each other. Last year we moved 500 miles – our gift to each other was a new house
Now we live near family and they usually get us most of the gifts we want (DVD, coat, things like that). But when we lived in Memphis we were 500 miles from our family – we tended to buy each other small gifts then because we were alone at Christmas (he always had to work and we couldn’t travel til the 26th). So we bought small gifts then just so things weren’t so depressing.
But we’re adults and we buy the things we need and occasionally the things we want throughout the year – so we really don’t need to go out and buy something at Christmas – instead we let all the other crazies go downtown and shop.
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This Christmas my budget is very tight and I am giving the absolute minimum. My family has helped me remodel my house so I am giving them nice gifts (the amount of labor I saved is immeasurable). Other than that I tell them don’t buy me gifts as I cannot afford to reciprocate.
I am actually sickened by the consumerism hype around the holidays (and in the USA in general) as I know first hand how much debt and stress it causes. A lot of my family has fallen into it and will never get out. I make a conscious effort to buy as little as possible in all areas, gifts and otherwise.
I figure why would I buy an Xbox when I can take that money and spend 2 weeks in Thailand having real experiences instead of virtual. Video games are fun but not worth $50 a pop to me anymore. I have no problem spending on travel and experiences as I have those “assets” for life. Experiences are what I live for!
I am willing to bet that if you bought someone an experience, no matter how bad they wanted that playstation, they will appreciate it and remember it many years down the road. Well after they sold that old playstation on ebay for $20 after it sat for 5 years in a closet. They may not even realize this fact but you will know that you gave the best gift.
- Foo
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Listen to your spouse throughout the year and write down ideas for special gifts. You can pick up a little money on the side or save money secretly to surprise her.
A great and thoughtful surprise goes a long way.
Merry Christmas!
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Gift-giving is about making the other person happy. I know it’s cool and hip to be “anti-consumerism” and fulfilling your ultra-hip Web 2.0 lifestyle, jetting around the world and doing hiking. That’s cool if it makes you happy.
I really want to get an XBox this year, and some more Wii games. Why? Am I bowing to the whims of the great gods of marketing? No. My circle of friends all have the XBox, and we are now older — with wives and kids and commitments. We are Old People. So where we used to start the weekend at a local bar Wednesday night, we now have playdates, ballet lessons, swimming lessons, family commitments and so on. This makes getting together as adults to be more of a challenge than it used to be. But nearly everyone has an XBox, and the XBox has wonderful online gaming capabilities. So we can pick a time after the kids are in bed and at least have some fun together.
For the Wii games, we live in a part of the country where going outside isn’t much of an option in wintertime without serious commitment. So if I can put on Wii Sports or Wii Fit my daughter and I can have some fun together on a cold winter day, and at least we are a little active.
So when thinking about gifts, think about the other person and what makes THEM happy. Not what makes YOU happy. Maybe they dig “consumerist” stuff. Maybe they would like an “experience”. Maybe they like eating out, or a day to themselves. Figure that out and they will have a memorable gift!
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I personally don’t see anything wrong with picking out your own gifts.
A couple weeks ago, I was admiring a handbag in a store window. It was “only” $65, but alas out of our budget for the month. My husband said that it could be my Christmas present from him. It was sweet, and I returned the favor when he was admiring some sunglasses at the mall.
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Jordan and I exchange gifts AND do stockings for each other. We put an absolute max at $500. Which may seem like a lot, but it’s a rare thing that we spend this much on ourselves, let alone each other – so it’s a real treat.
We don’t go into debt for this, it’s saved for and planned.
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My husband love, love, loves to give gifts, so he would be terribly disappointed if we agreed not to exchange gifts. lol So yeah, we do buy gifts for each other. We enjoy picking out something the other person will love, and we only use cash to pay for the gifts.
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We love to buy each other gifts, especially at Christmas! For us, gift giving is part of the spirit of Christmas. It’s just fun, plus it can be an opportunity to surprise each other and add a little spark with a romantic or meaningful gift.
I actually compiled a Top Ten list of Best Gifts for a Married Couple on my site. You’ll find a mix of fun, serious and romantic ideas, but they all have the opportunity to enhance your marriage.
J.D. – Sounds like you should check it out!
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My s.o. and I do exchange gifts. We agree on a budget ahead of time but aren’t too strict about it…we’re both “givers” so a big part of the joy of Christmas for us is choosing that perfect gift for someone and seeing their face light up when it’s opened. I’d miss that if we didn’t exchange anything.
Another thing we’ve done is to choose a meaningful little project–for instance, working together to make a photo calendar for the upcoming year.
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I like to buy my husband gifts…as long as I have an idea for what I want to buy him, haha. I love picking out something special for him, even if it’s small and inexpensive. It makes me feel great to surprise him.
I don’t know how he feels about buying me gifts, but I guess since I like to buy them for him then he knows he better buy something for me, too.
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My husband and I do exchange gifts, and we encourage our children (4 & 6) to pick something (inexpensive) for each other and their parents. It doesn’t matter what it is — an experience like a trip or a show, a new zoom lens for a camera, or fleece pajamas for cold winter mornings — the most important thing in my family is that you try to think of something the other person would like.
We also have a budget and that was cash, so it can be a surprise. Personally, I hate knowing exactly what I am getting for Christmas or birthdays. I much prefer the thoughtful gifts, regardless of price.
I don’t think the gift exchange itself is essential, but the idea that my husband has tried hard to think of something I would enjoy, that is essential.
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Ha! I just wrote about this. In the past — when we were dating — we exchanged gifts, got each other things, etc.
The first two years of our marriage we decided to either buy things together (as in, things we both wanted for the house), or very small gifts.
This year we are radically changing Christmas. We’re not exchanging gifts — with anyone. We’re tired of participating in the consumerist holiday and buying stuff that no one really needs.
Plus, we feel like we have everything we could ever need. We don’t need more.
We’re applying our funds toward improving our financial situation instead.
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We absolutely do gifts – I absolutely hate shopping for myself, but I would be so sad if my spouse or family members told me not to get them anything, because part of the joy of the season (and birthdays, etc.) for me is thinking of the people I love and how to put a smile on their faces. And because we’re so frugal in other areas of our life, this is one of those areas that I’m okay with splurging a little. The travel thing sounds great if that’s what you and your wife are interested in, but I’d rather curl up at home and watch my family open gifts
@JD: Of my husband’s favorite gifts, most have been really inexpensive but thoughtful. Like the letter I gave him for our wedding, telling him all of the reasons I love him and all of my dreams for our future. Or the “tickets” I gave him as “permission” to rent movies I’d normally veto. Or the “date in a box” I’ve given him several times – it’ll have popcorn, soda, candy, a gift card for pizza and for movie rentals, or a gift certificate for a restaurant and the theater or other things we like to do together. She’s not looking to be blown away – it’s nice just to remind her that you’re glad you chose her.
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Gifts are not about the money. A luggage tag with a note describing the owner….”this suitcase belongs to the woman who causes my face to light up, my heart to skip a beat…etc, etc” would be an awesome GIFT that would cost you maybe $2. My husband and I believe craigslist and thrift shop gifts are totally acceptable but inexpensive little ‘I love you and thanks for what you do for me gifts’ are worth a million dollars at Christmas. Enjoy your travels and remember great GIFTS don’t have to cost a penny.
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My husband and I exchange gifts for Christmas. He has no trouble spending money on me or the kids throughout the year, but doesn’t spend a whole lot of money on himself. Christmas is my excuse to be able to get him the things he has expressed interest in but talked himself out of.
This year, though, he got his big gift in October, as it was a joint birthday/Christmas gift, so his Christmas morning will be less exciting this year.
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We do the same thing! We decided to stop exchanging gifts a few years ago based on the level of stress it causes. I tend to buy things I want, when I want them. Well, the 3-4 months leading up to Christmas I was forbidden from buying things that could have been gifts she could have bought…
I was debating this with a friend yesterday. She told me I wasn’t being romantic, and then in the next breath, told me she told her husband the exact gift to buy her, the price, and where to go. She was then stressing about what to get him! Doesn’t seem very romantic or practical to me!
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My husband and I do exchange Christmas gifts. We usually give each other several ideas so that we have some things to choose from and some ideas for the kids as well. They love to go shopping w/ me to buy a gift for Dad. We do keep it under a pre-set amount and I often mention things that do not cost much; this year I have mentioned that I would love for him to detail my car! Something I would love, but I am way too frugal to pay $125 for a professional to do it.
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Me and my finance have always done cheap, homemade gifts for each other at Christmas. My favorite so far is mine for him this year – an anagram for his name!
No matter how much you are “against” consumerism, there is always room in your budget to write a love-letter, check out a book of poems from the library and serenade your wife over your thrifty leftovers, give her a night in the bedroom of complete pampering with massages, etc. I am astonished at how many of you family men ignore your wives and put all the effort on your children at Christmas.
One of our dear family friends asks her husband for a 3 line love letter each year, and each year he buys her jewelry instead. A little attention goes a long way at Christmas – especially when your wife is so busy making your home festive on a budget!
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Short answer: no we do not give each other gifts on Christmas. We both agree that gifts are not important for us on Christmas.
I do not know of anybody personally that does not give their spouse a gift. I am used to being different…
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