Reader Story: How I Got Married on the Cheap — And Loved It!
Sunday, 17th January 2010 (by J.D. Roth) This guest post from Lars is part of a new feature here at Get Rich Slowly. Every Sunday will include a reader story (in the new “reader stories” category). Some will be general “how I did X” stories, and others will be examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success.
I got married last month. It was a bit of a whirlwind romance — at the beginning of 2009, we’d been talking about an engagement later in the year, with a wedding in 2010. Things being what they are, the engagement got moved up a couple of months, and we decided to plan a wedding for the end of the year.
The first question we had to ask ourselves was, “What size wedding do we want?” The next question was, “What can we afford?”
A little background
Let’s talk about our personal situation for a moment before I answer the questions in detail. My wife is finishing school and doesn’t work. I finished grad school 18 months ago, and had a bout of unemployment for the last four months of 2008.
As I’d just gotten out of school, I hadn’t yet amassed much of an emergency fund. I mostly lived off of credit cards during that period. After moving, paying rent for two months on two apartments, and a small weekend trip to Europe earlier this year (before the wedding was in the works…if I knew we were getting married this year, we wouldn’t have gone), I racked up over $10,000 in credit card debt. I set a goal in April to have my debt paid off by the end of January 2010 — a goal I’m quite pleased to say that I’ll meet.
Basically, the take-away here is that we didn’t have much money for a wedding.
For us, the most we could contribute was just a few thousand dollars. My fiancée checked with her family, and the best they could contribute was $1000. My parents paid for our honeymoon, so, we were looking at planning a wedding with a budget of $3000.
What size wedding?
I’ve moved around a bit over the last few years, so it’s been hard for me to keep up with old friends. And since I recently moved, I didn’t have friends that I was dying to invite to my wedding. My wife had a couple of people on the “it would be nice if they could come” list, but their attendance wasn’t critical. So, we decided on a family wedding.
We figured that meant under 10-20 people including us. Some of my wife’s immediate family is local; the others all live in the same town about eight hours away. My family isn’t local, and would have to fly no matter where the wedding was held.
Here’s the challenge: How do you plan a wedding for a dozen people on $3000? We explored some local options, and with facility charges and whatnot, the economics just didn’t work. We would have paid too much for a big facility that would feel empty with so few people in it, or been too stuffed in a smaller facility. Because it was a December wedding, an outdoor event where we are wouldn’t work either.
We both wanted a nice wedding that didn’t feel cheap and that worked in our budget. (My wife told me later that she wasn’t thrilled with the budget we’d set, but she also said that ten years from now, she’d be happy we weren’t still paying for it.) Then there’s the sticky issue of some friends of her local family that we socialize with from time to time… we were being “encouraged” to add them to the guest list. I wasn’t happy about it — if they all came, it would almost double the size of our wedding.
What can we afford?
As luck would have it, we stumbled on some wedding packages in Las Vegas. When I started putting together cost estimates, I realized that this would be the best fit. We stumbled upon the Stratosphere’s wedding packages, and they start at just a few hundred dollars. We chose a package that ran about $800 for a 30-minute ceremony way up in the tower, and it came with a dozen photos.
The ceremony was nice and short. We ate dinner at Fellini’s restaurant in the hotel — we were able to get a private room for no additional charge — and best of all, we had a really nice three-course dinner for $32.95 per person. Wine was available for $18 a liter. The restaurant served us a really great cake for about $80. All said and done, dinner was about $800.
After dinner, we were given passes to the hotel lounge up in the tower, which provided us an excellent venue to enjoy a few drinks, some light dancing, and each other’s company. The VIP concierge was kind enough to provide us a limo at the low rate of $42 an hour — six of us drove up and down the strip for two hours taking pictures all over the place.
Repercussions
Choosing to have our wedding in Las Vegas didn’t go over so well with her side of the family at first. My family didn’t care; as my dad put it, a plane ride is a plane ride. Her family, on the other hand, had to travel. If the wedding had been local, those that were eight hours away would have driven, and the locals could have just stayed put.
My wife and I talked about it for awhile. I asked her, “Who is this wedding for? Is it for us, or for your family?” It was for both, of course, but when push came to shove, the costs came out of our pockets. A local wedding would have cost more, although not by much. It would have been a bit cheaper for her family though.
What was the right answer?
The truly locals do quite well for themselves (and, truth be had, get caught holding the bag for others in their family on occasion) but they also know that we’re just getting started in our married lives, and that every dollar counts.
I would have compromised. If I were in her family’s shoes, I would have sat down and said, “Look, we know it’s going to cost you more to have a local wedding. It’s also going to cost us a lot in travel expenses. How about we figure out what it would cost us to travel out there, and write you a check for a fraction of that?That way neither of us is unfairly burdened with avoidable costs.”
Had they offered that, it’s likely we would have had a local wedding.
Happily ever after
In the end, we decided it was our wedding, and our budget. We also knew we weren’t putting people at a terrible disadvantage cost-wise (flights were running $250 per person from both cities, and the Strat had regular rooms for $30/night during the week and $50/night on the weekends. Our suite ran $120/night.)
It turned out to be, in everybody’s opinion, an awesome wedding. I loved it from a budget perspective — we were able to pay for exactly what we needed, no more, and no less. No minimum charges, no facility rental charges, no nothing. And after the wedding, we had the whole town of Las Vegas to provide our nightlife. I think we did the whole thing for right around $3,000 — if we went over, it was only by a few hundred.
Reminder: This is a story from one of your fellow readers. Please be nice. After nearly a decade of blogging, I have a thick skin, but it can be scary to put your story out in public for the first time. Remember that this guest author isn’t a professional writer, and is just learning about money like you are.
This article is about Frugality, Reader Stories, Real-Life, Relationships





Lars – Thanks for sharing your story. We got married in 2007 and live in the Caribbean at the moment.
Suprisingly, negotiation and planning were the two hugest things that kept my wedding budget at around 4,000. We had 75 people, open bar, and at a local resort on the Island. Thinking back I know it could of been a LOT more expensive.
Negotiating was really key for me such as finding a place that would do a “package deal” and then basically nip and tuck different areas (open bar, room rates, etc). Its always great to haggle.
- James
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We too got married in Vegas at the end of 2000 ~ for mostly the same reasons. Getting married in Scotland with all family present ( and hubby has a LOT) would have been astronomical in price ~ and once we actually started a guest list we started to say things like ‘ well, if we invite so and so, then we have to invite their so and so’ ~ and it was getting out of hand.
So we started to think about what WE actually wanted. Turned out that that was a simple ceremony with a few close relatives in a place where we had both wanted to go for years ~ Viva Las Vegas!
We stayed in the Venetian (overwhelmed us all) ~ got married in the Little Chapel of the Flowers ( very romantic place) ~ visited the Grand Canyon (wow) ~ saw Tom Jones at the MGM (just as well I was married by then, lol) ~ ~ basically the BEST week of our lives ~ ~ and ~ ~ it cost less than one day here would have done, even including flights ~ no squabbling relatives either!
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Thanks for a great story! We had a similar experience as well – we got married in 2006 with just family and a handful of close friends, about 25 people total. We had the ceremony in the lake house of an area park (cost: $60), found a wonderful non-denominational minister who specialized in simple, meaningful weddings, and ate dinner at a nearby restaurant (where I also happened to be consulting on event management at the time). Our dinner was held in their beautiful greenhouse out back, and the food was wonderful (and $17/plate – again, my connection helped there). The whole thing, including my dress, was about $2000, and it was EXACTLY what I wanted.
Good for you for sticking to your plans, and enjoying the wedding YOU wanted.
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That’s a great story. I tell all friends, especially those over 30 getting married for the first time that it’s a party for you and your spouse, especially if you’re paying for it out of pocket. I’m not much of a traditionalist, but when you’re footing the bill to celebrate your love, I just don’t see any reason to bend over backwards for 2nd cousins on the other side of the country.
We threw a small wedding that was mostly friends with great food at a cool location and it didn’t break the bank (I think it ran about $4k in the end, with most of that being food as venues were cheap.
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Good for you!! My husband and I weren’t able to stand up and say that this wedding is for us and our guest list went from 75 to 300 (this is of course, us shaving it down) and we were in more debt than we should have been.
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I love wedding budget stories! Good job keeping the budget under control. When I was in the planning stages, I’d be on bridal/wedding forums and hear people whine and moan about having “only 10k” for their wedding, and wondering what those people thought was a lot of they thought 10k was a tiny budget! I’ve never understood the type of people willing to go into massive debt for the “best day of their lives”.
I’m of the opinion that if you go into marriage thinking your wedding day is the best day you’ll ever have in your whole life, you’re not giving enough credit to your partner or to actually being married. My wedding was an amazing day, but I’ve had some other fabulous days with my husband since then.
Our wedding cost just under $4k (including dress, tuxes, wedding consultant, everything), and we had 50 guests. I think we spent an extra $2-300 on a big free-for-all barbecue the next day for any additional family and friends (or anyone else who wanted to drop by), which is how we kept the wedding guests list as low as it was. Including cousins or aunts/uncles in the guest list would have shot it up over a hundred people. Ack.
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Do you really want to tell your kids you got married in Vegas?? To each his own, I guess…
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Sounds like a nice wedding, and one that didn’t break your budget in half. The money you saved is the greatest compliment you could receive.
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Since my wife is Ukrainian, and since the wedding is essentially for the bride, we married in Ukraine back in 2002. We had a reception for 35 people. The whole shebang ran between two and three hundred bucks, including a wonderful three-layer wedding cake which cost all of $14!
The point–it doesn’t really matter whether you marry in a JP’s office or in an elaborate wedding–what really matters is the dedication and love you bring on a daily basis to your lives together.
By the way, I hear all these stories–but a very good and low-cost option for a “facility” is to marry in church, although I know that seems hardly fashionable these days.
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We had a wedding for 30 people in 2006. We were married in my church and had a dinner at a restaurant afterwards. We still had a photographer for an hour or so and I had beautiful flowers. Total cost was around $2K. We wouldn’t have done it any other way.
Congratulations!
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I think I’ve shared this a couple of times before, but it’s been a while. (Plus, I’ve never written a while blog entry about it.)
Kris and I got married on the cheap, too. Part of this was out of principle, but part of it was because we didn’t want to borrow from our parents. The route we chose didn’t go over well with my father, but we figured this wasn’t for him, but for us. Here’s what we did:
We got married on a weekday morning at the county courthouse. The only people we allowed to be present were her sister and one of my brothers. But the next day, we through a bash for everybody we knew.
To keep costs low, Kris and I arranged for everything ourselves. We used the connections we’d developed to make things easier, but we were our own caterers.
For example, while working at our college coffeehouse, Kris had been a buyer. She bought cakes, for example, from a local vendor. This knowledge came in handy for our wedding: We just ordered cakes from this vendor, who gave us wholesale pricing. As alumni, we were actually able to use the college coffeehouse for our reception.
We had a few friends help us set things up, but otherwise we arranged everything ourselves. We had a fun time, and we hope (and think) others did, as well.
We also had a budget honeymoon. We drove to Victoria, British Columbia, where we stayed in a dive hotel. (Seriously: It was a dive.) This gave us more money to spend on the fun stuff.
If I remember right (and this could be way off base), in 1993, we spent $1,000 for the wedding stuff and $1,000 for the honeymoon. We’re both happy with what we did.
But, as with so many things, a cheap wedding isn’t for everyone. I don’t think that what we did would have worked for Shannon (#7). If you want a big wedding, go for it, but just be conscious of the cost. And don’t go along with big plans out of some sense of social obligation. You’re going to have to learn to say “no” at some point — this is as good a time as any.
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I am not a fan of destination weddings, because I don’t think it’s fair to make your guests pay for travel and lodging. But I seem to be in the minority on this.
To truly gauge the cost, I think one should look at the total cost. In other words, the people getting married may spend $xxx, but the guests may spend as much or more on travel/lodging.
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By a curious coincidence, this question went up at Ask Metafilter this morning: Why do I feel guilty for not wanting a wedding? The asker is looking for feedback from folks who have minimalist weddings.
There’s some great feedback in this thread, though not many details. Every one of the 30+ commenters is glad to have done a minimalist wedding. (There’s even at least one Vegas wedding commenter.)
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We got married in 2008, and we saved money by getting a lot of help from family. My sister-in-law did the invitations, my dad was the DJ, one of my husband’s cousins was the photographer and another did the bridal party’s hair, a family friend was the officiant, and everyone helped with making decorations. We had the ceremony at a local park, and the reception at my husband’s parents’ house. We were lucky to have so many talented people in the family who could help with the wedding, and everyone commented that it was a wonderful day because it really brought our two families together.
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As a preface to an earlier post:
Would you rather say we got married in Las Vegas and here’s your tuition for 4 years of college OR
We got married in a grand ceremony with 300 guests and good luck paying for college.
Nonetheless, we got married abroad (Italy) with just one mother present and had a celebration the following spring and it all turned out incredible. The non-pressure of just us getting married with no guests and the non-pressure of the wedding celebration since we had already been married made for an amazing time at both locations.
To each his own, it will be memorable regardless. What’s more memorable is having the marriage last 50+ years…
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To elaborate on the comment from frugalscholar above, what’s really happened with the inexpensive wedding is that some of the costs were shifted from Lars to the guests. The primary reason that weddings in places like Las Vegas (this holds true for cruise and destination weddings as well) are so cheap is that they are counting on the added revenue for your guests to subsidize your stay. In many cases, if you have a large wedding, your wedding (and sometimes your hotel expenses) are offered free since they recoup the expenses from your guests.
Lars doesn’t say where his in-laws flew in from, but taking the average cost of airfare from Q3 of 2008 (the most recent year I could find figures for summer travel on) at $360/person, and assuming that his wife’s side of the family consisted of 6 people (half the 12-person wedding party), that’s an added $2,160 straight away. If we further assume that half of the 6 people were local and wouldn’t have had to rent a hotel, and assuming they stayed 2 nights and rented 2 rooms at the Circus Circus (Stratosphere didn’t have prices online), that’s an extra $385, for a total of $2,545. That almost doubles the cost of the wedding.
Hopefully the above won’t come across as being too negative; the intent wasn’t to bash on the article, just to point out that a destination wedding is more about shifting part of the cost of the wedding rather than an outright savings. If that’s something that you and your guests are comfortable with, it’s a perfectly legitimate way to cut your own personal costs.
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I agree with Matt: Basically, it’s a party for you and your spouse. I lived in Vegas for about a year and it is a real wedding capital. My commute took me past the “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign and the Little Wedding Chapel twice a day, and I got many a smile from wedding parties posing for pix, even though sometimes the spectacle stopped traffic!
Of course, one can do this for less (as several readers and JD have pointed out) but you all had a lot of fun and made some really special memories. Personally, I love giving parties and am currently planning a bash for my parents 50th wedding anniversary this fall. It’s gonna be on the cheap, too, so I’m glad for this post and all the comments as it gave me some good ideas.
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Congrats!
Why don’t you have a big reception at home for the people who didn’t or couldn’t or weren’t invited to the Vegas wedding?
Pot luck + church hall + pictures or video from the wedding = celebration of you and your wife starting a new life together.
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We had a simple, small wedding (35 people), that we planned in about 5 weeks. It was not all that cheap (my parents wanted to help) but definitely cheaper than a “traditional” wedding would have been. Since the guest list was small we splurged on activities and food for our guests and couldn’t have been happier.
I’m a huge fan of small, non-traditional weddings — so much more meaningful, fun, and so much less pressure for everything to be “perfect”!
I think having a frugal wedding is the way to go — chances are you will then have more in the future for amazing anniversary celebrations!!
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OTOH, when we got married 10 years ago, we had a huge wedding for under 3K. We had an outdoor wedding in the rural midwest (there was a wooden shelter area in case of rain), didn’t buy a photographer, flowers, favors etc. The most expensive thing was food and drink, but getting a barbeque catered runs under 1K in the rural midwest and 1K buys quite a bit of champagne. JCPenny’s dresses, rented tuxes (MIL insisted on the tuxes). Friends flew and drove in from all over and we put them up on the floor of my parents’ place. We’ve been to a couple of similar weddings in Northern CA since then that were a bit more expensive but not terribly so.
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Our wedding cost us under $200 at the JP’s office with four guests (mother/father/best man/maid of honor) with dinner at the olive garden. We found a nice dress at macy’s that needed repairs for about $13 which was insane. Our dinner afterward was the most expensive part, over $100 to pay for everybody that went. My wife’s maid of honor made an awesome cake, my brother got hammered on the entire bottle of wine. Even though we were not good with the rest of our finances at the time. We realized that spending thousands of dollars on a single day did not make any sense at all. Spending thousands of dollars on a car that will last 5-10 years is a tough enough decision.
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Great story.
My wife and I got married last year for $1000 with about a dozen guests. We were married by a justice of the peace which cost $65. We rented a pavilion at a local park for $30 for our reception. My wife made a beautiful gown from a $50 thrift store dress. A $20 vest turned my suit into a tux. Food cost about $100 and my wife’s store donated a great wedding cake. By far the largest expense was flying my parents out to Colorado. Two round trip tickets for a weekend in July cost $500.
This summer we are planning on having an anniversary party back in NJ where most of our family lives. We have a budget of $2000 (including our travel out there) for an event with 100 people.
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Great story. This is the first article that I’ve read all the way through on your site in 6 months.
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I can appreciate that you wanted a wedding for cheap, but I can’t believe that your idea of your family “compromising” was that they write you a check for YOUR wedding!
It amazes me that adults feel completely comfortable comfortable approaching their parents to ask them for money to throw a party (you got at least $1k).
I’m not trying to be brutal with you, I absolutely agree that you should only have a wedding that you can afford- I would merely add that this includes not running to the “grownups” to ask them to pay for your party.
Good luck in your financial journey as you find your way to true financial independence.
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I enjoyed this story. Las Vegas is a great place to get married and between the resorts and the wedding chapel district, there are tons of options and every style of wedding imaginable. I think it has its own tradition and romance in contemporary culture, like getting married in Niagra Falls in the 1950s. In fact My husband and I often talk about renewing or vows at one of the chapels. They’re so cute! It is more expensive for your hometown guests, but much cheaper than other destination weddings like Key West, Hawaii, etc. The airfare, hotels, etc. is designed for quick, inexpensive get-aways. And nearly everyone loves an excuse for a quick trip to Vegas.
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I live in Pahrump, Nevada, which is about 65 miles from Vegas. For our wedding, I most definitely did not want to get into the mindset of “is my friendship with X person worth a $32.95 per plate chicken dinner?” mindset.
My husband and I got married in a park (free!) and had a potluck picnic reception where we provided punch, cake, and a wonderful Mexican meatball soup. Everyone else was free to bring something to share or not…I made it clear that it was their presence I wanted, not their food or gifts. I printed out nice invitations by buying some clearance invitations from Wal-Mart that had great software that really made them look as if they’d been professionally printed. I got my dress on sale at David’s Bridal and we got my wedding rings at a pawn shop in Vegas and my husband’s online after getting his ring size from the jewelry counter at Wal-Mart. A photographer friend of mine took pictures and I bartered with her a psychic reading in exchange! My bouquet was made for me by my mother…I’d bought flowers from Albertson’s and she supplied the ribbon, the floral tape and the artistic knowhow to make a beautiful arrangement. My tablecloths were white sheets I’d bought from the Salvation Army, which I then dyed lavender with a $2.00 package of RIT dye. A makeshift altar was made by two cement breezeblocks with a board on top, and then decorated with a beautiful cloth and some religiously significant objects supplied from my home and by family members.
Many people asked us if we were registered anywhere for gifts. I replied that while we weren’t asking for gifts at all, just their presence at the wedding, that if they REALLY felt they wanted to give us a gift, the most useful two things we would enjoy the most would be giftcards for Wal-Mart and Home Depot, as we could combine them to help carry out some small home improvement projects. I wrote everyone thank you notes and told them how their gift had help us do X, Y and Z in the house (new faucets, new cabinet hardware, etc.). The response was overwhelmingly positive and people always congratulated us on being smart about the whole thing. I also made sure to include flattering photos of them at the wedding, along with the thank you notes, which people seemed to appreciate.
At the time, we both worked at a boarding school, so I contracted with the school to prepare the food and hired some students to serve at the wedding, which they loved. My family is scattered all over the country, so it really wouldn’t have mattered where we planned it…pretty much everyone was going to have to travel at least a little. We ended up having a wedding for about 50 people, including dress, rings, new suit and shoes for my husband, food, invites, cake, favors, and honeymoon, all for about $3,000. It was great, nearly everyone attended in relaxed clothes (my cousin brought his dog to the wedding!), and I truly believe everyone had a good time.
Instead of having a rehearsal dinner, we took the family out to a champagne brunch at the Sahara hotel in Vegas the next day, which was affordable and enjoyable. It got people to Vegas on time for their flights or closer to the highway they needed to get on to drive home, and was nice and laid back, since there were no pre-wedding jitters or frantic running around anymore. For a honeymoon, we spent the night at my maid of honor’s timeshare in Vegas, and then many months later went on a cruise that had been given to us as a gift by my husband’s fammily.
I encourage everyone to be financially sensible and mindful about your choices for your wedding. Half the fun about the wedding now is telling our story about how we managed to have a terrific, beautiful and fun wedding on a shoestring!
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Nice article and I totally agree that a wedding doesn’t have to be a break-the-bank affair.
The one point that struck me as actually offensive was when Lars considered that it could have been a rational option for his future wife’s extended family to contribute to the cost of a local wedding – “How about we figure out what it would cost us to travel out there, and write you a check for a fraction of that?”
Honestly, that would have been terribly poor manners. It’s YOUR wedding, YOUR budget and YOUR choice on where, when, who to invite, etc. You had that budget because of your parents and you and your partner’s life decisions, and that’s fine. Lars, you even mention that those extended family members “get caught holding the bag for others in their family on occasion” – would you want to contribute to that? You invite them to LV or wherever you’re having the event, then it’s their decision as to whether or not they can attend. If you wanted to have a local wedding where they could surely go, then it’s your responsibility to make that happen.
I understand you may have mentioned that as kind of a mutual-benefit scenario (they save $ and you can have the wedding locally within your personal budget), but I think it’s more than a bit presumptuous that they would provide the funds to give you your ideal day.
As I said, otherwise great article and I applaud your fiscally-responsible decisions.
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This post made me think of our own wedding–done on the cheap–30 years ago this July. We were nuts–but didn’t have more than $300 to spend on everything. We used the exterior grounds of an old stone mansion in Wilmington Delaware, at one time the home of a wealthy local scion, taken over by the county and lying fallow. We catered it-lovely cheeses and breads and fruits and icy bottles of vino verde on that hot, hot day. We made our own wedding cake, replete with rolled fondant and handmade marzipan flowers–one that today would rival the Cake Boss’s cakes! We made do, and with a great deal of style and panache. We had to. Our 40 or so guests had a ton of fun and so did we. We left the mess for the guests to deal with, and drove to our honeymoon destination two hours away, a beach rental with 10–count ‘em–TEN of our closest friends for two weeks! I watch women on TV shopping for wedding dresses that cost $5000 or more, and I am amazed.
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Yeah, actually, your wedding was $3000 plus $250 airfare * 15 people = $3750 for a grand total of $6750. You could say that half of them would have had to travel anyway, then maybe a total of $4875. If the goal is to shift the costs from you to the family, you accomplished that. I’m not saying that’s a good thing or a bad thing- just that you can’t ignore the travel costs.
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I used to be a wedding planner at a large hotel and also as a smaller upscale restaurant and this article is PERFECT for how I used to explain to my brides the cost v. the actual memory. Often times, society says that a wedding needs to be big, over the top, with everyone you have ever met invited… that you should demand the best quality, brand names and be mindful that you should please everyone you invite… which is completely untrue. A wedding is for the bride and the groom, often the weddings that costs $10,000 or $50,000 or $100,000 are not memorable to anyone, especially the bride and the groom who are so caught up in the small details they forget to have fun. It seems that you had a good time, your family and friends will always remember it and it served as a vacation for all. Good article, better underlying moral.
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Jd’s close: The money for our 1993 honeymoon was a wedding gift check from my parents for $1234.56. We came in under the $1000 budget for our reception, partly because we couldn’t serve alcohol at our venue.
We made the right choice for us, but as Jd said, his father was not happy that we didn’t choose a church. And members of my extended family were mad they got a wedding announcement instead of a wedding invitation. Unfortunate, but not sufficient to make us ignore our own best judgment.
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Haha. I’d forgotten about that check for $1234.56. Kris’ mother thought she was pretty clever.
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Btw, at least some of the Vegas chapels are set up for internet streaming of the wedding itself.
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Lars,
It sounds like your wedding was perfect for you and your wife. I have been to many weddings, and my favorites have been the non-traditional ones that actually reflect the personalities of the bride and groom. The church weddings all mix together in my mind, but the unique ones stand out.
It always amazes me to go to weddings of creative and interesting people that are stiflingly dull and cookie cutter.
I had a somewhat traditional wedding 16 years ago, yet kept within a budget of $2000. We actually could have afforded a much more expensive wedding, but were not interested in spending too much money.
Here’s a link to a Non-Consumer Advocate post I wrote about it:
http://thenonconsumeradvocate.com/2009/03/the-non-consumer-advocate-wedding/
It’s also important to remember that a wedding is about the beginning of a marriage, and not about impressing people. How many over the top celebrity wedding end up in divorce anyway?
The best part of our wedding was the art car limo (free) and running into Johnny Cash at the hotel and having HIM come up to us to congratulate us. Wouldn’t you know that my husband and I were alone at this point and had no camera on us at the time. Can’t put a price on that!
Katy Wolk-Stanley
“Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.”
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Incredibly interested in knowing what else you investigated… the Stratosphere unfortunately looks a little space-needle-esque and I live in the Seattle area.
Were there other good deals like this? Any rooftop options?
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Bravo! I am always amazed when I hear the price tag on many weddings these days. My wife and I were married about 8 years ago and, while we didn’t match your frugality, we did entertain around 300 people for approximately $7,000. To date, we STILL have people tell us how much fun they had at our reception!
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My husband and I were married in 1998. We wanted to elope, and just have a reception later but caved to pressure from friends and relatives that “we would regret not having pictures of a ‘real’ wedding”. As it turned out, having no financial help from parents, we had a fabulous ‘budget’ wedding that our friends still talk about today. We were married (for free) at our local Kingdom Hall where we could invite as many people as we wanted. The reception was held in the backyard of a friend. She had just moved into her house and the spacious backyard was the perfect size. We spent a month of weekends doing hard labor, really a backyard make-over, for the privilege of having the reception there. It was a win-win for her and us. She set the number of guests at 100, so that’s what we had. Her house had one bathroom which meant that we would need to provide the dreaded “porta-potty”. We found a cute one(really!), with flushing toilet and running water sink, for $100 (which included the delivery and pick-up). I did my own flowers. Friends helped with food, which was amazing! Another friend took pictures for us, we only had to pay for developing. Someone took care of video-taping, etc. My dress was $250. Tux was about $80 (looking back, I wish we had just bought a nice black suit that we could have kept). We went cheap in certain areas (though you wouldn’t know it) and spent money on what was important to us. I really wanted china plates, and real, not plastic water goblets and wine glasses with cloth linens. That ended up being the things we spent most on, about $400. We even had a dear friend give us a diamond for my wedding ring. We took 4 days off work for our honeymoon, obviously we stayed local because that’s what we could do at the time. I think really what it boils down to is being REALISTIC, and be willing to put down the bridal magazines and ask what’s truly important to YOU.
What’s interesting to me is that my memories, and my favorite pictures to look at are from the night before, at my house putting together bouquets with my soon-to-be husband and close friends in the living room putting together napkins and silverware, stopping for some impromptu swing dancing. I have wonderful memories of installing a spinkler system in our friends backyard, and digging out some gnarly old bird of paradise bushes! The wedding was cool too
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Your wedding sounds like it was a lot of fun. It’s funny how you mention that you and your husband were thinking about who the wedding was really for?
My brother got married recently and when I was discussing things with him, it seemed like he and his wife conceded to the fact that the wedding ceremony wasn’t for them but more for their families. It was interesting to hear your opinion on it.
That being said, I think what you did was great. Starting your marriage $30k in debt is nothing to brag about.
Congratulations on your recent marriage!!
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We got married on the trail, locally, with 2 witnesses (who are good friends), a runner who is also a minister, and two of our kids. It cost us $500 for the rings, $20 for champaine, $70 for breakfast after, $70 for my new running skirt and top, and $60 for the flowers. Next day we went to the Sea World with the kids. It was absolutely beautful and fitting for how we met (at a trail 50M race) and what our passion is (trail ultrarunning). It was for us. We are happy with it:) Here is how it went:
http://runmoretalkless.blogspot.com/2009/09/guess-what.html
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My husband and I got married in 2005 for $5000 with 70 guests. We saved money by having a 2:00pm ceremony with 2:30pm reception; because it was midafternoon, we served heavy hors d’oeuvres rather than a full dinner. I burned a CD of the processional, recessional, and reception music instead of having a DJ or live band. We made the invitations ourselves with my computer and an invitation kit we found at a craft store.
We also saved money through luck and connections. My dress fit like a glove off the rack so we didn’t have to pay for alterations. The JP was a friend so he didn’t charge us for officiating. My mother-in-law owned a flower shop, so she did the bouquets and boutonnieres for free; the ceremony/reception site was already decorated.
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I love that you got the wedding you wanted and didn’t go into debt. My husband and I got married 30 yrs ago on a budget of $50. He came in from the Navy on the weekend and I bought a dress off the rack. No big reception…just a store bought cake and some immediate family. Fast forward to today. Both of our daughters are getting married this year…two months apart. I have ENCOURAGED them to elope, but they won’t bite. We’ve given them each a set amount of money and one is using only that amount while the other is in a positon to add to it (we started saving about 8 yrs ago knowing this day would come). My advice to couples…the marriage is more important than the wedding. My advice to parents…begin saving now!
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Hate to say it, but I was a lot cheaper than that.
We paid for the marriage license and had the JotP do it for us… And that was that, we were married, on a Wednesday in March. We’re coming up on our three year anniversary, having outlasted many other military marriages and having a better marriage overall than many of our friends. (Sad, but true. We communicate fairly well, could always be better!)
No honeymoon, it was just about enough for us to be in a new place, together finally and nobody having to leave in a few weeks. We did buy wedding bands after we were married, which was something like $400 I think…. And that was that. While I sometimes regret not having the “big day,” I also know we were better off not having it and that huge weddings don’t mean anything. In the end, you’re married and you still have to work on it.
Oh, but we did do one thing…. Money that probably would have gone to a wedding instead paid off our first sports car. She was the best “wedding present” ever.
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We had 50-60 people and it cost us $6000 paid in cash. Not the cheapest but not extravagant either. Everything was the way we wanted except I would have invited more people but my husband is socially challenged so he wanted as few people as possible. We had a beautiful mountain wedding in Evergreen Colorado with the reception in the same place.
My advice is spend money on what is important to you. For us, photography was important. We spent a big chunk of the budget there. We did not hire a videographer, DJ, florist. All of these were do-it-yourself by friends. Invitations were handmade by us and friends. The intimate venue also allowed for a good interaction during the reception. Some weddings are so big, it becomes impersonal.
I would also like to add that I believe a wedding should be what the COUPLE can afford. We knew we would not be taking money from our parents. We were proud to have used our own resources. Our parents gave us money later as gifts but the wedding was all our money.
Honeymoon was in NYC. Not what people would expect but it was as different from Colorado as can be and we’ve never been there. We had a BLAST! This was in 2003 when they had the big power outage in the NE!
The best part – we received enough cash gifts to offset a big portion of the wedding costs or in this case money for the honeymoon.
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I think it makes a lot of sense to plan a wedding that makes sense for your budget and needs and not worry about much else.
Our wedding was around $2000-3000 and a lot of people came but we had a very casual type reception. It worked fine for us. Would it have been more fun to do something fancy? Of course, just like it would be fun to live in a mansion or fly first class, but those things are out of our budget as well.
It’s funny, this summer we had to go to a few key out of town weddings and we realized that for one wedding we spent almost $2000 just to attend… the same amount that we spent for our entire wedding!
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I kinda have to agree with people pointing out that making your guests pay more to get to your wedding isn’t exactly a way to have a cheaper wedding, just a way to make them pay for more of it. I guess whatever works though, works.
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I don’t usually respond to posts, but I felt I needed to after reading this. First off, I would like to congratulate you on your new nuptials, and a successful wedding. I too, was a bit strapped with finances for my August ’09 wedding, and it came off without a hitch…however…
I am a female. I like nice things. I am sure that there is going to be some dumb guy out there who can afford WELL over $3k for a wedding, but is going to think that he can tell his bride to be that this is all he can afford. For women, the smaller the budget, the bigger the nightmare. Do you have any idea how much wedding gowns cost? I’m not talking about the ones you can get at David’s Bridal made out of polyestre “silk” fabric with no lining, I’ m talking about a dress that at the least does not feel like a Cinderella costume cira 1985. …about $1500, and it can EASILY go up from there. If you have ever heard of Vera Wang, don’t even THINK about getting a gown unless you are willing to spend $4k on it.
I realize, to each his own, and I think the guy who wrote this article did a great job…but even his wife confessed she wasn’t too thrilled with the budget. Its an unfortunate reality that most of the time the women do all the wedding planning themselves, with their men just giving them the figures.
Basically, guys, do the budgeting WITH your wife. Let her speak up, and please, let her go and get figures first! I know I seriously had sticker shock when I realized what it costs to have a nice wedding.
And lastly, to each his/her own. Maybe for some brides, they don’t care about the wedding or what gown they wear… they want to buy a house or take a trip to Bali. I say, that is fabulous, and all the more to you! However, just remember, if you are lucky, you will only get your wedding day once.. live it up a little.
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We threw our daughter a beautiful wedding for under $5000 (which I thought was a huge amount of money!) We paid for hotel rooms for out of town family (everyone), invitations,the dress, pictures,flowers, honeymoon (in Las Vegas-lol)- everything. My family decorated the ballroom. I guess there are some advantages of living in a small town- even if my entire family comes from the big city!
It was small- but dream like! She got everything she asked for.
BTW- We got married in front of 350 people. Talk about pressure. We often cannot remember what day it occurred on since it was moved so many times. The cake was cut late. The first dance tore my dress… That was 27 years ago. The point being- the ceremony and party do not make you married- the commitment does.
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For everyone saying they passed the cost of the wedding off on their family, it’s their guests’ choice whether to attend or not. Their guests decided based on their own budget constraints at the time whether the money was worth it to them. These people didn’t throw a huge bash and then demand checks at the end before everyone could go home. They made their decision on where to hold their wedding and the family made theirs to attend (or not). Geez, some of you make it seem like they fleeced their relatives.
I think it was a great story detailing an option some people don’t generally consider when they think low cost or frugal. My husband and I’s wedding for around 120 guests cost us about $6000. That included venue, rings, photographer, food, flowers, dresses and thank you gifts for wedding participants. We had a Sunday morning wedding – no alcohol, no DJ, officiant was a family member and it was a wonderful experience for everyone.
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We had a pretty cheap wedding, partly because of good fortune and family generosity and partly because we didn’t need a huge thing. The good fortune was his parents’ beautiful home – perfect for weddings in any weather. We are also fortunate that we don’t have deeply religious parents or large extended families that would absolutely have to attend. Instead, hubby’s folks generously hosted the ceremony and reception for about 25 people, providing food, flowers, and cake. My parents and brother and hubby’s two best friends paid to fly themselves here. Most stayed with us and my sister but there were a few hotel costs. Hubby’s boss and business associates gave us two cases of wine and bubbly. My sister generously took amazing photos, and a friend performed the ceremony. Without them we could not have had the lovely wedding that we did.
For ourselves, we did not have expensive needs. My very non-traditional dress cost $35. Our wedding party outfitted themselves in clothes they already had or would have bought anyway. (my sister HAD to have that dress & my wedding was a good excuse!
) We really only wanted our closest family and friends to be there. Our largest expense was for a party bus to bring our guests from where we live in Portland down to Eugene for the wedding. This was to save the cost and chaos of a bunch of rental cars, and it turned out to be a genius move. People had a blast on the way down, and we joined them for the trip back up. It was awesome, the most memorable part of the wedding, and the best $500 I have ever spent. We also spent $100 or so on gifts for our wedding party and minister, and a few hundred throwing parties in Portland and LA for friends we could not invite to the wedding. Those were also great parties with everyone we could possibly have wanted to see there.
Overall no one’s expenses were huge. We probably spent about $1k ourselves. Hubby’s parents probably spent about that much. Friends and family probably spend $300-$500 on travel. No one took a huge hit and everyone had a wonderful time.
Thanks for this topic! It’s a favorite!
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I’ve done this twice, the first time big, second time small. Here’s the story:
Wedding #1 1989- This was really more about my parents and extended family than it was about the bride and groom. We had about 125 people, many who traveled to be there as part of a family reunion/wedding event. We worked to contain costs, but still spent upwards of $10-12K. My parents paid for the vast majority of that, instead of paying for my college education. I would have picked the education if I’d have known better.
Wedding #2 1998- I did not want a big wedding, and actually wanted to go to Vegas. My husband insisted on a local wedding. I relented, and we had about 50 people on the Sternwheeler for an evening dinner cruise & dancing to a DJ. The whole thing, food, cake, clothes, limo, flowers, photos, came to right around $5K. A few years later we visited Vegas (my husband’s first trip there) and once he saw everything, he said that a Vegas wedding would have been fine by him.
This is the thing, folks: put your energy into making a great MARRIAGE, not just a great wedding. Having a giant party might be fun for a day, but if you can’t be bothered to invest in the marriage itself then you’re losing out on both ends of that equation. I firmly believe that spending absurd amounts of time, money and energy on big weddings is truly wasteful. There is an entire industry devoted to convincing women that the big, frothy wedding is a requirement (Platinum Weddings, Say Yes to the Dress, Rich Bride Poor Bride, anyone?), when it’s really not. The real requirement is that you’ve found someone you love more than life itself and that you truly know you’ll be committed to that person for the rest of your lives. That’s what it’s all about, not the size of your party, the cost of your dress, or the number of guests.
To those of you complaining about the people who had to travel to the Vegas wedding, accusing the OP of “shifting the costs to his guests”, just shut your traps. No one held a gun to the heads of the guests and said they HAD to go. They CHOSE to go. My best and oldest friend in the world had a destination wedding in Belize. There was no way I could afford the airfare to get there, and while I was sad not to be able to be there, I was able to participate in other parts of the wedding process (showers, parties, etc.). The bride and groom didn’t hold it against me that I couldn’t afford to go either. They understood. The OP also had exactly the wedding they wanted, and I for one am happy for them.
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