My partner and I have a system that works fine for us with mostly separate finances (although we still discuss them quite often and are well aware of each other’s), and have put each other as the beneficiaries for the important stuff, so we’ll get most of the estate, however it’s still important to think about.

Right, what we are doing is selling from one person’s account and buying in the other. Since we unrelated for ownership/tax purposes its no different than if I sold a security and you bought it

To clarify what Sam #26 said, it’s the income limit on Roth conversions that was eliminated this year and not the income limit on Roth contributions.

@Wendy – I can’t imagine any outsider thinking it’s appropriate to evict someone on the day of their partner’s funeral. Sure, if you own the house you’re going to probably eventually take posession. But the day of the funeral? The HOUR of the funeral? No way.

And, having written obituaries for a living for a couple years – families just act insane around a death. People are SO MEAN. Some people are willing to dis their siblings in their mom’s obituary, or their cousins in the grandparents obit, or write a completely pretend biography for the deceased. I once had to talk a woman out of writing about herself and her siblings as “his abandoned first family” and her half-siblings as unnamed “other children he fathered” in her father’s obituary. These are people who would not usually air their dirty laundry in public – but immediately following a death, people make bad decisions.

Sometimes I think I must be the only single person in the world who has concerns about frugality.

Betsy’s story is tragic and disturbing. The part about them delaying their nuptials because Jordan’s family was not that fond of Betsy is unfortunate. Life is too precious and fleeting to live it for other people. If Jordan and Betsy were married, in most jurisdictions, the will, without any other affirmative action on Jordan’s part, would have been revoked. If you make a will prior to getting married and later on get married the law assumes that the testator would want to provide for his spouse.

Also, Erica, I echo Poster #21’s sentiments, get impartial counsel. If your father were to draft the pre-nuptial you are setting the stage for it to be challenged and maybe even overruled.

As for the other comments, about dual income high earners – I’m not sure everything can be reduced to dollars and cents. There are other ways to have a secure retirement besides a Roth. My husband and I are trying to make a decision about whether we should aspire to max out each of our 401K prior to opening a Roth. The problem being is that we expect our household income to continue to climb. I would like to take advantage of a Roth as long as possible before reaching the phase out benchmark. Decisions, decisions!

Anyone out there looking for a copy of this book, I just did a search on http://www.abebooks.com and there are 19 copies for sale starting under $3. Get thee over there and order.

I have seen some real horror stories around divorce, and I’d rather deal with counsel now than later! Of course, no one wants to think about divorce when they are getting married, but it is a fact for nearly half of marriages, and I’m not one to play with those odds.

-Erica

It’s very easy to assume that everyone is married with 2.5 kids because that’s what most of the financial advice is written about. (mainstream media)

I will have to pick up a copy of this book. Sounds very interesting.

How does that make any sense? If 2 people each make $105k/year, they can fully fund their Roth IRAs, but if they were married they could contribute nothing. Tax wise this doesn’t make a difference since its post-tax money anyway, but retirement wise it can be a huge difference 30 years from now.

Passive activity loss deductions are even worse… if you are single the phase out starts at $100k and ends at $150k. Well if you are married the phase out starts at $100k and ends at $150k. That makes even less sense! Sure you can carry over the losses, but I think most GRS readers would rather take their money now.

We have also avoided the wash sale rule and harvested losses by selling from one brokerage account and buying in the other at the same time. For $20/person in commissions you just got a $3k/person deduction. Ideally you would not have losses like this, but if you do why not take advantage of them?

It sounds like its going to be even worse sometime in the next couple of years if you make over $250k which provides even more incentive to not get (legally) married.

May I also recommend that if your readers have a beloved possession which they want given to someone, that they make it known and even give the item prior to death? (Assuming death is expected.)

My grandmother had several family heirlooms which were important to her, and she had specific ideas about how they should be disbursed. She had an entire set of vintage china, and antique crystal stemware. Rather than leaving it to be split with a few pieces going to each of her daughters, my grandmother spent her final days giving the items as she wished: the full set of china to one daughter, the full set of crystal to another, and other items to the other children.

Not only were her worldly possessions going where she wanted, but she spent a wonderful day with her daughters & granddaughters. I treasure the memory of that day, her last really good day.

Furthermore, we need to do a pre-nup since I own multiple businesses. My dad can write the pre-nup (he’s an attorney), but I’d like to see more about what I should have in it generally.

This plus the cost of getting married has me happy to be single for now, but more open discussion may help ease some of my fears. We’ve been living together and splitting costs for nearly 3 years now, and we have pretty open discussions about money, but getting married is a whole ‘nother ball of wax.

-Erica

I plan on moving in with my partner one day, and before we’re married I’ll probably do the joint bank account thing for common bills (rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries, cleaner, etc.) by taking a set amount each month and each of us depositing that. And then we’ll keep the rest.

Once we’re married married we’ll evaluate if that is working and keep it the same or change it to everything joint.

I’m an accountant so I’d probably feel better being the one to pay the bills out of the account as I have never been late or forgotten a bill and my partner forgets all the time (a lawyer…)

As for joint finances, I took care of paying all joint bills pre marriage. We each paid in a set amount for joint expenses that was based on our salary. I paid more since I made more.

After marriage, I took over paying all bills. All money that comes in, salary or rental income, is treated as joint money now and we each get the same amount of allowance to spend. Works for us.