My old high school redistricted between my junior and senior year, drawing nearly half the kids from poor inner city neighborhoods.

Never had seen such fights before…

That school went from _the_ place to be to last choice – so much for the parents who bought what are now million dollar houses (in flyover country)

I send my kids to private school to be able to live anywhere I want.

I think of schools as I do of parenting – there is no such thing as a perfect school, but there are lots of schools that are good enough. The key (and the hardest part) is to know your kids well enough to recognize the type of situation that will suit them and allow them to flourish. You have to do more research – you have to dig in and look at schools, programs, neighborhoods, and results (test scores, graduation rates, etc.) before deciding what’s enough and where you’ll fit.

Sure, we could’ve spent more to live in Ann Arbor so that we can say we’re sending our kids to Ann Arbor schools (which have a great reputation). But in the day-in, day-out routine of life, it’s not that much different to be in the less-expensive but still good school district next door.

And hey – this way, we can afford to put money in the kids’ 529 accounts.

I don’t feel that we cheated her in anyway; nor does she feel that way. Of course we all want to give our children the best, but “THE BEST” is an ever-moving target and we do need to recognize our financial limits and find other ways to give to our children.

The one exception, he said, were the 50-100 or so “worst of the worst” schools in America, the urban hell-holes that you hear about in the news. Beyond that, he said, school had no influence. Berliner even cited his own kids — one of whom went to a private elite school and one of whom went to a rural public school — and noted that, if anything, the son at the rural school seemed to have better academic achievement and was ultimately more driven and successful. Food for thought.

As long as the schools are rock solid, I’d go for the school and neighborhood where you fit in best in terms of your family’s interest, values and affluence. Your children’s classmates and friends and peers and you friends, too, will draw from there and you will be the most comfortable. What makes a great school isn’t so much the bells and whistles or statospheric test scores, but active and involved parents, caring and enthusiastic teachers, and a place that feels alive and vibrant with learning. Even in a great school, there can be dud teachers, a bad fit with your kid, classroom chemistry that is bad with certain kids, etc.

True up to a point. As kids get older, what their peers think and value become more important than what their parents think and value.
The entire package: neighborhood, schools, teachers, other parents, becomes very important. Values shared should be examined. A wealthier neighborhood may share some very shallow values; a solid middle-class (anywhere in middle-class) neighborhood may share some very healthy ones.

Also, the real difference in education is at home anyway. If you leave all the teaching to the school, no matter where it is, you are setting your kid up to be nothing more than average. On the other hand if you encourage learning independent of the classroom, your child will excel.

That said, if you wouldn’t be tempted to pull your kids out of the local public schools to pay for a private education, having parents who are calm and not financially stressed is worth a lot.

I believe that most people still pay way to much for their neighborhood. (Prices come from the neighborhood or area, not the house). Going for a modest home in a good neighborhood can make all the difference. Not so cheap to be in a dangerous or troubled area though. There are plenty of ‘mature’ communities that have decent HOA rules and fit this description.

If you are very concerned about being in a particular school district but can’t afford to buy there, rent. Renting is not “Throwing money away” and can be the most prudent financial choice for some people at certain times in their life.

Overall, if you choose to buy and you buy too much house, you cut off WAY more choice than you can even anticipate. Think less of a home as an investment and more in regards to its utility (A place to live, plant flowers, build a treehouse and sleep at night). It might appreciate enough to keep up with inflation or it might not. Your investment dollars should go elsewhere (401(k), Roth IRA, 529 for the rugrats). personally, purchase price target should be no more than 1.5 – 2.5 times your annual salary, with 2X being ideal. If you want a nicer house, earn more dough.

just my $.02

-WR

We have a couple of years but I share your situation.

I think it is an investment that is going to pay off for them ten times over in the course of their lives.

Live in less house, whatever other sacrifice–I would do it.

My stepson was in private school when I got married, and throughout primary school. He goes to a public school now and hates it.

My husband went to private schools from preschool through MIT; I went to public school and then community college, and eventually transferred to a small liberal arts college. He loved school all the way through; I hated it until I got into the tiny private college I wanted to go to.

Which is to say, no one in my family has ever had a good experience with a public school.

I planned to homeschool my kids, so we bought our home in a not-great school district. As luck would have it, the elementary school down the street from our house is the one really good school in the city.

But when my older daughter staged a mutiny last spring and announced that she would be going to kindergarten, we sent her to the lab school at Tufts. It’s a private school, but it costs only a quarter of what the other private schools around here cost.

I have no idea what we’ll do when she ages out of that school after second grade.

I don’t think I can possibly justify paying private school tuition all the way through, but everything I’ve seen and experienced with school makes me feel like having a private school education really does make a HUGE difference on so many levels.

We have faced this choice a couple of times. We have always been more comfortable in the more modest neighborhoods. Especially for elementary schools, “the best schools” are not necessarily best for your kids. In fact our children (3rd grade) have done better in the more modest neighborhood school than they did in the fancier neighborhood school (in another state). The difference between “good” and “best” schools will rarely be experienced by any child, especially in elementary school.

Also, it is interesting to note the phrasing of the question: “doing what’s best for the overall budget vs. doing what’s expected for our kids”. You want to do what is best for your kids, which since you are asking this question includes modeling good financial behavior, rather than what society expects.

Bottom line: go with what you think will be a better environment. After all, your children will learn more from you than from their school.

1. First, are the schools really better in the pricey area or is there just a perception that they are? Sit in on some classes, go to some extracurricular activities. Sometimes the teaching is equivalent but there are just more kids with advantages pumping up the test scores of one area over another.

2. What do you value in schools? Supportive teachers, good school spirit? a lot of volunteerism? AP or IB programs in the high schools? Good math curriculum? Strong reading program. Foreign languages? Again, don’t just go with what everyone says. Sitting next to rich kids all day doesn’t mean you’ll learn more.

3. My son went to highly rated public school and got a great education. it just happened to be where we landed and at the time the small houses didn’t cost appreciably more in one area than another. I think education is really important and I’m grateful but I sometimes think a slightly less competitive environment would have been more supportive.

4. As long as the schools are basically sound and offer a good curriculum with good teachers, your children’s academic achievement will be more dependent on the attitude towards learning that they see at home than how the schools are rated. I know some highly educated kids who went to school in some pretty marginal school districts. good luck with your decision.

And frankly ( might seem like a political tangent here, but not meant that way), I find it very bizarre that parents and their children depend on the “school system” as the main provider of education. Parents and loved ones as well as the individual ( the child) are primarily responsible for the upbringing and education of their own kids, not the state.

I live in a “good” school system, and even in the “best” I find a lot of faults. This is probably because of the “system” as a whole that really places very little value on education and normal/healthy learning behavior, IMHO. I don’t worry about my children, but I worry about the kids with terrible parents.

That said, it appears these parents are very interested in the education of their children and would probably provide a great environment regardless of the local government schools. If the parents care, the kids care, and the government workers at the school somewhat care and are decent, it’s probably a winning combination.

You said yourself it’s solid. Is this other school like the best in the state? If it isn’t then don’t worry about it.

I’ve known friends who went to “great” school districts and turned out to be not too successful or educated. I’ve also known friends who went to “border-line” schools and turned out successful and highly intelligent about the world.

I know, anecdotal, but honestly having the parents stress out because of finances to put little Johnny into the “best schools” is going to cause more harm than good, IMO. You could put that extra money in supplementing his/her education with extra activities , money for hobbies (chemistry set/lego sets/lessons) than with the long slog of a “better” school.

There are so many variables that honestly, if they aren’t dodging bullets or going through metal detectors to get to the school, it’ll be fine.

I find it frustrating that so many people downplay the importance of this decision, or act as if the “richest” school district is the best. Check the ratings; the school we got our son into rates better than any other in the district, and it is in a lower-class neighborhood. It simply has good teachers and involved parents who work to finance the extras through fundraising and volunteer work.

If my son went to our neighborhood school, he would be in a large class with 30+ kids and one teacher. At the school he is in, there are 27 kids, 2 teachers and 2 aides. He is reading at a 6th grade level in the 2nd grade, and is excelling at school.

Schools don’t just get bad ratings for academics; lower-quality schools can sometimes have problems with drugs or violence. That includes elementary schools.

My advice would definitely be to rent for a while in the neighborhood you want. Even if you’re sick of renting, even if you know it’s a buyer’s market, it sounds like you’re not sold on owning a house again. Keep that emergency fund intact and rent for a year and try out the school district. Not only are schools very different, teachers within schools are very different too; some kids work well with some teachers, and some kids don’t. Your mileage may vary, but renting will keep you from having to commit to this decision before you have all the facts.

So what did we do? Moved to the “hood” in Portland.

We love our neighbors, and the neighborhood is rapidly changing with lots of like-minded young families moving in.

We believe in diving in and making a difference rather than checking out and going with private schools, or fleeing to the suburbs.

Our 3 year old daughter’s favorite activity is to read, and I feel there’s more to life than a “formal” education. She had a passport and left the country at 3 months, and has already been to more countries than most American’s. Which unfortunately isn’t saying much.

We also wanted her to be exposed to multiple cultures, not just the 99% “white bread” suburban culture of the suburbs.

Go with the modest neighborhood, instill a love of education, save for their education, and they’ll be fine.

Also, there is nothing wrong with state schools, it’s the fact that you get a higher degree that makes the biggest difference. What they do with that degree matters more.

I was an above average but not ragingly stellar student in my high school. My high school at the time was one of the best public schools in several counties at least.

I got into an extremely hard to get into public college [at the time, again, the top public school in the country] in part because I did as well as I did in a school that was known to be rigorous.

Going to that GREAT college and being a moderate student [solid b+ only] got me a FULL SCHOLARSHIP to law school. Can’t beat that.

Now the law school was NOT a great school – a decent one but not great – here was time where it was up to ME. I did very well, stayed in the top 10% and made law review – this won me a job in one of the huge NYC firms making oodles of money right out of school [and sadly spending even more than I made LOL]. An interesting note? Those not in the top 10% of my school couldn’t get an interview at the big firms at ALL – however those in ‘better’ law schools could be in even the middle of their class and not only get interviews but get hired.

Now for me? We live in a modest middle class area – we’re probably more educated than most of our neighbors but I love that my kids aren’t raised in an atmosphere of who has the newest whatever. And the elementary school is a solid one. However for middle and high school we’re paying to send them to a tougher private school – because I feel that it will be to their advantage sufficiently that it’s worth my cash to pay for it.

I can’t see that it matters a hill of beans where a child goes to school as long as it feels “right” to the whole family and as long as there is a strong family commitment to the child and his/her concerns.

I do agree with those who suggest family vacations, summer camps,out-of-school enrichment activities, and, especially, travel.