And although I try not to pay attention to it, I can’t help but notice that even without a lot of “stuff”, we still have more than most of the people here. I have only seen one other person with an iPhone and no one else with a Macbook Pro. The house we’re renting is very nice as well, so, relatively I guess we just made ourselves the rich Joneses. But people don’t seem to care as much about “keeping up” here, which is great.

We don’t do much for birthdays either. Maybe we’ll go out to dinner – but who needs another $30 or even $100 toy?

http://www.43folders.com/2009/12/14/enough

I feel the same kind of way about digital Stuff. A lot of times it seems we only follow websites because everyone else follows them, or we only read things that our online-idols read.

I asked my husband and my parents instead to contribute their skills to projects I have planned for the next year. They were skeptical, but agreed.

Classic Post. Thanks again!

(Recipe called for a 1/4 cup bacon bits, I used a half a 3 oz packet of the pre-cooked bacon bits you can buy in the salad dressing aisle.)

same make…same model…same mistake!
..when will i ever learn?

So far ONE of them has gone for it, and the other family members made that one feel like they had done something wrong

I can buy anything that I need or want. And things I don’t need or want have no place in my life.

I keep trying to explain that I want time with my loved ones and mutual experiences, not things!

But hey, really, who DOESN’T need a full set of black towels with green cat’s eyes embroidered in them to go in thier ivory bathroom???!!

If the recipe is a success, would you consider sharing it?

I’m trying a bacon cheesecake brownie recipe for a get-together tomorrow. Long live bacon!

However, I don’t like clutter or excess stuff. My solution? To request consumables that I would have bought eventually anyway – eg a face cream or some chocolate, or to receive the cute little gifts (drawings, pastings) the kids make.

This way the birthday person has a fun day, the kids learn birthdays for parents are special too (and require effort on their behalf), and no excess stuff is purchased.

I also had a very similar experience to Claudia growing up. In high school my family were the “Joneses”. They had worked hard in their early years of marriage, saved and were at a point where they could easily afford the nice things they had.

Because of this constant labeling of me by my peers, I chose to attend college a few hours away. I wanted to escape the comments and the stereotypes that I had growing up.

I met my (now) husband at school, we graduated, got entry level jobs and bought a modest house in the same town as our college. We drive used cars. Everything we have is because we paid for it. (We are getting better with our $$ thanks to reading blogs like GRS!) It wasn’t until our wedding that our circle of friends knew about my family’s financial situation.

My parents being “well off” has made me self conscience most of my adult life as well. Now that people are aware of my parents situation, they treat us differently. “Oh, well why don’t you ask your parents for some money for your home repairs”. (Uh, because it is their money and not ours). “Well life is easier when you have money”. (Yes I agree, hence why we have jobs and try to be responsible with it.) My husband has had many a “friend” ask him if my parents bought our house or cars, ect., or if they give us a stipend to live on. His personal favorite….”must be nice to have married a trust fund baby.” (No I do not have a trust fund and never will, my parents have made it clear that their estate wll be given to the charities they support) I am not sure if I my feelings are hurt by these questions or if I am just bewildered.

I guess the point I am trying to make is that is constanly amazes us how fascinated people are when it comes to how much other people make, how big their house is and how much other people have. I am not sure I understand this.

My husband and I do our best to not look at life this way. We are content to spend our time with each and our dogs (we haven’t got to the kid stage quite yet!). We are content with what we have at this point. Would I love to have more…of course it is great to dream!

Thanks for listening to my little rant. I have been reading this blog for a long time and this is my first post!

Happy birthday JD! mmmmmm…Bacon

It is unfortunate that so many of us are focused on what we want now and what others have now that we fail to think about what we are trying to achieve with our lives.

We have become too short sighted. We need to try and hold an image of what it is we want to accomplish in our lifetime and support that dream with our actions… and purchases.

This is what has helped me curb my “stuff-it” syndrome. (I would always by things and stuff-it in the garage!)

Thanks again for the post!

That’s it.

Btw, I got 30 on 25/3…finally some celebrity that has the same day birthday as I do. And I also had a very hard time deciding what to wish.

I LOVE looking at home decor books, magazines, and blogs — I was just leafing through some old issues of one of my favorite mags (it went out of business a few years ago) and was looking at the prices of some of the things featured — astronomical! But the images portray things for sale that are “aspirational” — We the readers (or tv viewers) see these images and think “that’s attractive, that’s how people live, that’s how I want to live”. But a little critical perspective makes that advertising ploy quite apparent.

I have a lot more peace in my life when I’m not looking at the virtual Joneses on tv and in magazines.

Having enough needs to be a concept that you define within your own mind. It should not be determined by what others think is enough for you.

This is very similar to another recent study on happiness (in the U.S.) where the researchers learned that people with very little (not enough for basic needs) were unhappy, as they earned more, they became happier, until they reach a state where they can meet most of life’s basic needs. Then as they have more beyond that, they worry and become unhappy again. They also concluded that folks in the States work a lot more than rest of the developed world, regardless of where they are on the social economic scale.

In my career I’ve had the opportunity to help many consumers plan to achieve their financial life goals. The curious thing is that most people have been trained by Madison Ave to want more then they need, so they live beyond their means, work really hard, and are not very happy.

For those who are curious, we have a simple online tool that allows families to list their goals big and small, and within a few minutes figure out how long it will take them to achieve all those things and stop working. This number usually scares them. People are also shocked when they find out that by spending a couple hundred dollars less per month may allow them to stop working a couple years earlier.

http://www.cloudfi.com/app/home/index.gsp?cId=g9e8t7r4i9ch

It’s still in early beta so might be a bit rough.

My partner for many years did not believe me when I insisted on no gifts (or No Stuff). None of the women in his life had ever asked this of him, so it took some serious convincing that I was serious about this (These same partners were of the mindset that men were “walking wallets” and the trade off of being a couple was that the man in the relationship paid for _everything_ … it was a struggle for him when I insisted we go “Dutch” for the first year we dated… but I digress…)

When pushed, I would agree to “a gift that we both could share: An experience.” Sometimes that was dance classes, a weekend away, a dinner out, a hot tub rental, a night @ the symphony, walk on the beach, a picnic — what ever it was — we both shared the experience. Now it’s the norm for us for all birthdays, holidays, anniversaries…

It’s funny as he is _much_ more frugal then I, as we found out we are ultimately both minimalists in our home … but the cultural expectations around gifts took a _long_ time to separate out from the expression that they intend to represent…

My birthday was on the weekend and rather than buying me a gift I asked my husband to drive me up the coast to my favourite beach. It is about an hour away so we rarely go and it was a real treat for me. My parents, 4 sisters and in-laws all insist on giving me gifts so I asked them to all give me money to buy a new watch. I decided to buy a (for me) quite expensive watch but chose one in a very classic non-flasy style that is Swiss-made and will last me foreve.

For our wedding anniversary my husband I decided to have breakfast together (my favourite meal to eat out) and then we went to our local bookstore together and chose eachother one book to read- it was really special as we spent the time together browsing the bookstore aisles.

I’ve been reading this blog for some time now without ever commenting, but I felt compelled to share something today.

Growing up, my family was the Joneses. Whenever my friends visited my house, they’d always comment on how big our home was or how nice our things were. What my friends didn’t know was how hard my parents worked for everything they had.

As newlyweds, my parents shared a two bedroom apartment with my father’s cousin. This year will be their 32nd anniversary. They’ve been together through so many ups and downs, it is impossible for me to count.

About fifteen years ago, our family experienced what so many people are feeling today. Home foreclosure, unemployment, loss of insurance, one breadwinner, and even homelessness (although for relatively short periods of time). Through it all, my parents supported each other and kept the family together, even when others said they should call it quits. It took them over a decade before they were able to buy a home again. Other than their mortgage and a car loan, my parents live on a pay-as-you-go system. If they don’t have the cash, they don’t buy it.

Even as an adult, nothing can convince my friends that I am not “Little Miss Jones.” You’d be surprised how shocked they are to find out that I pay my own expenses or that I was able to graduate debt-free from college without financial help from my parents.

As a “Jones” (not my label, but everyone else’s for me), I can say that there is nothing I have that is worth anyone keeping up with. If you find yourself comparing your personal possessions to your neighbor’s, stop right now! You don’t know the Joneses. You don’t know that the Joneses almost divorced, that the Joneses’ kids spent years on reduced lunch, or that Daddy Jones gave plasma to supplement his family’s income.

The only thing I have that I wish I could share with the world is a loving family that sticks together when times are good, and, inevitably, when times are bad.

Considering that I spend every day learning how to convince consumers to buy products, let me stress the importance of:

a – developing good spending patterns.
b – drawing the line where you say “I have enough.”

Figure out what makes you happy as far as material goods are concerned and once you reach that level (or before, it’s not black and white) switch into lifestyle building.

The alternative is dooming yourself to a never ending cycle of grasping for goods that don’t matter and won’t make you any happier.

And trust me, the marketers will always be there to sell you more of the pointless stuff. In fact, we’re getting scarily good at it.

Happy Birthday JD!

Happy Birthday, JD!! I hope you have a wonderful year and many more ahead!

My birthday is Tuesday 30th and it is good to see so many Aries on the blog!

My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I said I wanted to receive a birthday card in the post…

I am currently saving to buy my second house, I already have an investment property about two hours away from where I live and work, and am saving to buy a place to live in to stop paying rent, so every cent counts.

I used to be so bad. When I was 18 and just starting full time work I earned $11,000 a year, so the bank in their wisdom gave me an $8000- credit card limit. I thought it was great, I bought Stuff like you wouldn’t believe. I was so lucky to win some money and be able to pay that off quickly. Never again…

Well fast forward to almost 38 and my family consider me the biggest tight a**e they have ever known. I proudly presented my yearly spend to my parents and they couldn’t believe it, $500 last year on clothes (most of that at specialty camping stores getting reading for my trip to Everest last year)$200 on shoes ($150- of that on hiking boots) and $100- on books (previously that was my monthly spend).

I have managed to save enough to buy my investment property and will have that paid off in six years, and also will have enough to buy a lovely one bedroom flat in Sydney, if I can ever find anywhere I like…but that’s a different story.

By the way, the banks THREW money at me for my new loan, one person, one average income, they wanted to give me over half a millon dollars. I refused and the loan officer said that no-one had ever refused the higher amount before.

Sassy