Last Thursday, on April Fool’s Day, I wrote about my obsession with gadgets and how much that’s cost me over the years. As always, your comments and stories were more entertaining (and instructive) than the post itself. In fact, a comment from chacha1 gave me a flash of insight. She wrote:
The thing that’s a *headdesk* for me is the digital piano in my dining room. It’s an excellent instrument, but at the time I bought it I hadn’t played regularly for over ten years. And I’ve had it over six years and have barely played it.
Oh my word. I’ve done this sort of thing so many times in the past, and I continue to make this mistake even today. But it wasn’t until reading this comment that I realized what exactly I was doing wrong.
My problem is that I buy something in order to pursue a hope or a dream, and then expect that this new thing to somehow change who I am. If I buy a new camera, I expect it to make me a pro photographer. If I buy a bunch of Latin books, I expect I’ll be somebody who spends his time reading Latin. (In 2004, I bought a bunch of Latin books just for this purpose; I still don’t know Latin.)
Perhaps the worst example comes from the early 1990s, back when I was struggling most with my spending. I decided I wanted to become a computer programmer. To that end, I spent thousands of dollars on programming books and software tools, as well as subscriptions to programming magazines. Guess what? None of these things made me a programmer. They just put me further into debt. It was as if I’d traded a few thousand dollars for nothing.
“You are the master of buying something in the hopes that it will create a need,” Kris said after I told her about this post. “Look at all the Stuff you own because you hoped it’d make you become a different person.”
She’s right: chess sets, woodworking tools and books, camera equipment, exercise gear, and more. I write a lot about my battle with Stuff; much of this Stuff can be seen as monuments to my hopes and dreams. In a way, it’s like “keeping up with the Joneses”, except the Joneses are some idealized version of me.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m all for big hopes and dreams, and I think it’s great to find ways to motivate yourself to success. But it’s important to be smart about how you spend on this sort of thing. Yes, tell yourself that if you learn to play the piano, you can buy a keyboard. If you learn to cook, you can buy some fancy kitchen gear. If you lose 40 pounds, you can buy a new wardrobe. (I have stacks of clothes that are several sizes too small; I bought them because I thought it would motivate me to lose weight.)
Buy these things as rewards, not because you expect merely having them will change who you are. Or, another way to think of it: Buy things as you need them instead of buying them with the expectation that you’ll use them. If you find you need a treadmill because you ran all summer, and now the weather is poor, then buy a treadmill. But don’t buy a treadmill just because you think it’ll motivate you to run. Become a runner first.
There’s a part of me that really wants to learn to play the piano. I love the idea of putting an upright piano in the corner of our living room; it’d look great in our hundred-year old house. But I’m older and wiser now, and I know better. It makes no sense to buy a piano just because I want to learn to play. Buying an instrument won’t make me a musician. The first step is to take lessons. If I’m able to stick with piano lessons for a year or more, and if I think I’ll continue to play, well, maybe then a piano would make sense. But not before.
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Great post — Sometimes maybe with these purchases we somehow also imagine buying the time to do the things, too? I have lots of craft and art projects yet to be made…it’s finding the time. When I’ve bought the items I usually imagine how much fun, creative and interesting it will be…I’ve stopped purchasing, and now see my most precious commodity is time.
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I agree with the basic premise of the article…except for the piano issue.
My mom is a teacher and I’ve played since the third grade (I’m almost 50 now). Mom wouldn’t take a student who didn’t have a piano to practice on.
I suppose you think you can do it on a Casio cheap keyboard. That has got to be a huge discourager as those things are hard to play on. So, if you want to learn to play the piano, choose a decent one to learn on, or a good keyboard–which means more than $10 at a yard sale.
However, there may be people who would loan you one for a year to see if you really like it.
But otherwise, yes, I agree, wholeheartedly with the basic premise here.Use what you have and upgrade only as it becomes necessary and as your skills increase in the chosen field/hobby.
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On the piano issue: I am a piano teacher, and I also won’t teach anyone who doesn’t have an instrument to practice on every day. (For beginners it can be a dinky little keyboard until they become more serious.) I also practiced on an upright for many years growing up, and only got a grand piano after I had become super serious about it (after I had given some significant professional performances). I do, however, have middle-school students I WISH would get a better instrument because it would help their development more – but these are students who are fairly serious and already practice every day.
On the kitchen issue:
Mark Bittman, food writer for NYTimes, author of many cookbooks, has a TINY kitchen. picture:
http://bitten.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/17/anatomy-of-a-minimalist-column/
and his comments:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/14/weekinreview/14bittman.html
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Pretty much explained me to a T. I’ve owned a pair of turntables and a mixer before and had to sell them due to financial reasons. Well I finally saved enough money to pick up another pair. I spent a lot and went all out and still want to buy two more that are much higher end models. The thing is, like you said, I expected that this would motivate me to turn me into a DJ that could eventually maybe play small parties for friends and family but I don’t even practice. This is the first post that I felt connected to. It really explained me well. I’m also ecstatic to find out I’m not the only person who goes through this. I can relate to the piano, exercise equipment, clothes, cameras, I have an entire Amazon.com cart waiting to be bought with hopes and dreams that one of the items will make me a rich man.
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I have to disagree about the piano bit. If you plan on learning a musical instrument, you HAVE to have one at home to practice. It’s just the way it works.
Of course a real piano is a very expensive instrument, so it’s probably best to start with an electric one…but a good one with the full 88 weighted keys. There’s no point in buying an instrument if it’s not going to feel and sound good when you play it.
(I’m a guitar teacher btw, I’ve had this conversation with a few parents)
Otherwise, love the post. I really relate to it…though the last few years I’ve been learning to control myself. But my first instinct is always to buy, buy, buy.
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JD says: “My problem is that I buy something in order to pursue a hope or a dream, and then expect that this new thing to somehow change who I am”.
This post is a home run. A game changer as they say.
This really answers a lot of questions. That piano, pool table and who knows what else I’ve bought that I never (or rarely) use, it all falls squarely into JD’s premise.
I bought the Ipad and I was thinking if I should download the “World’s Greatest Books”. Now it’s not even a passing thought.
Excellent article. This one’s going on my blog.
And by the way:
The #1 comment says:
Twiggers Says:
April 5th, 2010 at 4:31 am
This really hit home…..but in a bit of a different way. We went 66K into credit card debt trying to keep up with the Joneses. So, in essence, we were trying to be someone we weren’t. It’s been very hard trying to ignore the Joneses and just be ourselves.
That’s an interesting take on JD’s post. It shows that it all gets back to living below one’s means, and being happy with who we are.
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Hi J.D.
Not that I want to encourage you to buy “stuff” you don’t need, but the piano might be one of the few exceptions to this rule, at least in my opinion. Too many people try to learn to play on beat-up, crappy instruments and it’s completely demoralizing. They sound terrible no matter how good you are and they don’t hold a tune. If you’re really interested in playing, I would definitely recommend buying a decent quality instrument. It will be much easier to play and will produce a more encouraging sound. A keyboard of decent quality is OK, too, but not as interactive – but at least it won’t go out of tune.
If you’ve always wanted to learn to play, go for it. I’ve played for years and I’m no Chopin, but it’s one of the most enjoyable, relaxing things in my life!
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Debbie I have no idea what a 35 mm versus a 110 is, but can agree with your statement as well. My sister was attached to her camera (not because it was great, but because she knew it inside and out) but at some point she invested in a better lens fo it. Probably the more you know or learn, the more likely you can tell those kind of differences. When I got better at piano I actually looked forward to my piano lessons, because it was a pleasure to play the really wonderful, perfectly tuned pianos of my piano teacher(s).
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JD:
You’ve illustrated quite well the fact that financial success, defined prudently, has little or nothing to do with financial skills and strategies and everything to do with self-awareness.
A wealth of information exists on “knowing” and “acting” but there is a poverty of information on “being.”
Thanks for stressing the importance of self-awareness.
Cheers…
Kent @ The Financial Philosopher
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JD,
I could have sworn you were writing about me. Oddly enough, I was thinking about this very thing earlier this year. I’ve never been concerned about what other people have. However, I’ve always been quick to drop a ton on the best equipment (and accessories too, of course!) for whatever new hobby I’ve chosen. It’s pretty scary when I look back on it.
I’m reminded that our sequence of events should be:
1. Want.
2. Then, Work.
3. Finally, Get.
Unfortunately, most of us (my old self included):
1. Want.
2. Then, Get.
3. Finally, Work (or not).
As an example, you WANT to learn to play guitar. Borrow one, rent one, or buy a cheap used one to WORK at learning to play. Once you’ve learned to play, GET one. You’ve earned it and will get value from it.
What I’ve done in the past is WANT to learn to play guitar. GET a guitar (or two, yes, I have two). WORK on learning to play it for a little while, get frustrated, and stop. What a waste!
Want, work, get is the natural cycle. If you WANT to eat, you WORK to plant vegetables before you GET to harvest. Wow! What a novel idea!
I keep that little list (Want, Work, Get) as one of my personal values. It’s a great reminder. I hope it’s helpful to others.
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hah! this was me with gym memberships. Over a course of about 8 years I joined at least 3 gyms. It might even be closer to five, I’m truly not sure. I’ve just had to admit to myself that tempting as it is to imagine that THIS time will be different, I loathe gyms and would rather be out on a hike. (or sitting on the couch or going to the dentist)
I’ve struggled to figure out how to get myself from point A (not so fit) to point B (fit) without telling myself expensive lies in the interim. I haven’t figured it out yet.
On the other hand, I have gotten increasingly into cooking and baking (which couldn’t possibly be related to weight/fitness issues, could it?), and have purchased some nice equipment (KitchenAid mixer, food processor, Dutch oven) to support this interest.
However: 1. I have bought each piece after wanting it for a solid year; 2. I didn’t go into debt for them; 3. I found good prices for each item; 4. I actually use them at least once a month! I do feel self-imposed pressure to use them more, but I feel monthly usage is a baseline for ‘proving’ that I’m using them.
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Great post. This is so true, one of those real light bulb moments! The only thing that I thought I’d add is (a little input from a music teacher) anyone wanting to learn to play the piano really does need an instrument before you start to take lessons. However, this doesn’t have to be a $80,000 Steinway… There are certain things we do need “gear” for to start or do and music lessons are definitely one of those. It’s hard to practice when you don’t have an instrument. Of course, sometimes this just means setting up access to one. (Some of the world’s great organists used to hike for miles every day so that they could practice)
I often encourage my students to start with a simple keyboard and then if they find they (or their child) do indeed stick with music lessons to upgrade to an upright from there. The other whole side of this is that music is also one of those areas where the quality of your instrument often will influence your enjoyment of the activity.
A 16 key plastic keyboard can ultimately result in the demise of an otherwise motivated musician. The key as with so much is to strike a balance between ability and quality.
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I went through a rough spot in my marriage and fell into a huge ‘nesting’ phase. If our household goods were perfect then surely our lives would be as well….right? Fortunately most of the things I bought are being used since they were all “practical” in nature. But I still have a set of dishes, a couple different flatware patterns, and some lovely sheets that never made it out of their boxes. Oh well…SOMEDAY…
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An echo of LisaD. In retrospect, I realize that some of my most intense hobby phases sprang out of frustration with parts of my life that were out of my control. By that I mean unemployment periods, unexpected and unwanted divorce, emptying of the nest etc. I would plunge into some hobby and expend a lot of energy on it. Eventually the crisis would resolve, I would move on with my life, and the hobby would be relegated to a closet. On the plus side, I did pick up some skills.
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As someone who has taken piano lessons on and off since childhood, its almost impossible to really learn without a REAL piano of your own. My advice is to scan Craigslist because there are always someone who is willing to give away (or sell very cheaply) an older upright piano. Maybe an older relative who owned it passed away and its too much of a hassle to try to sell it. You will only need to pay for the cost of shipping/delivery to your home and to tune it up. In a lot of cases, you are doing THEM a favor by just getting it out of their space.
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This is a really great post, JD. I’ve seen couples do this on their wedding registries by registering for cookware when you know they don’t cook. I overheard one couple asking about cookware that no experienced cook would ask (e.g. which pan should I stir fry in?), and proceeded to add the most expensive set ($1,000+) to their registry! I guess the couple reasons that by having all this nice equipment they will cook gourmet meals or something.
At least I can end up finding this expensive cookware at thrift stores in a few years when they throw it out from disuse
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Thank you so much for this great article! For the past five years, I have managed my money well, but every now and then I fall into the trap you just described. This article helped me explain why I sometimes purchase in the hopes of having my life changed.
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“You are the master of buying something in the hopes that it will create a need,” Kris said.” Oh LOL!
In my own defense, I used to play piano A LOT and I was pretty good. But this particular case was really just me satisfying an urge to have something I used to have – and really didn’t (and don’t) need.
It’s pretty hard to learn to play any instrument if you don’t have one of your own. But the reality was – and is – that I had other things in my life that were a higher priority and were returning more happiness to me than pursuing the piano, which is why it has served primarily as part of the cat superhighway for so long.
Love this!
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The piano…or whatever, bought so that you will eventually do something is the wrong motivation. You do not want to guilt trip yourself into learning to play the piano just because you spent thousands to buy one. You’ll only feel like you are doing it to justify the cost. And that will not be any fun.
Then comes the other conundrum. I took years and years of lessons and then went away to college where I didn’t take the opportunity to keep current on my talent. After I graduated I bought a piano. I thought, I played it forever growing up and surely, buying one now that I can afford it will help me play again.
While it is true that I do sit down and play on occasion, I should have realized that my priorities changed. It wasn’t that I didn’t have time to play – you can always make time if it is a priority. I didn’t really miss those opportunities as much as I simply did not take advantage of them. Today, I have a beautiful piano in my living room and I am still not taking advantage of the opportunity to play.
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This is hilarious…and so true. All the shopping I used to do with an image of my REAL self if mind:
Long blond hair, killer high heels, fantastic jeans, flowy blouse, cute trench, awesome bag…the problem?
i love jeans and t-shirts, and tennis shoes! all the money i wasted trying to get to some better fantasty “version” of myself who takes her fabulous hair to fabulous lunches…
thank goodness i realized that woman is NOT who i am! it saved my wallet, my sanity, and the two hours I was spending on my hair each morning!!!
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free pianos.
http://atlanta.craigslist.org/search/sss?query=free+piano&catAbbreviation=zip
There’s lots of these in many towns… most need tuned, some are junk, but quite a few are good for learning on.
Musicians have GAS also. but my rule is I only pay 1/3 to 1/2 of list for a guitar or piece of equipment, so if I need to get rid of it, I can get my money back.
Cameras and cars are different, cause they depreciate so much after you buy them (new one is out).
boomer
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Great article post! I too am guilty of buying clothes a little too snug, because I think that’s going to motivate me to lose weight!
This reminds me of the saying – “Be, Do, Have.”
First, we “be” the person we want and can be, to “do” the things we like to do, and lastly to “have” all that we desire. Too often we go backwards, and in my experience, it didn’t work out.
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Re piano—It’s hard to practice if you don’t have one! You might investigate renting a used upright, though. Many piano stores also do “rent to own” which in this case might actually be a bargain (in case you don’t actually want one).
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Two more words of advice when shopping for cheap or free piano.
a) bring along a piano tuner because they can tell you what shape it’s in. If a piano is out of tune, it’s hard to tell if only out of tune or something very expensive that needs to be fixed. If you can’t do that, next best thing is bring someone who knows how to play well to give it a test drive.
b) If you decide to get the piano, even if you got it for nothing, spend the money to have it professionally delivered to your home by someone experienced in piano moving. Seriously.
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One of the best posts I have ever read. I think we can all personally take something away from this. My personal experience, I bought a gym membership because I wanted to be one of those people who exercised daily and got bigger. However, I rarely exercised before I had the membership. So guess what? I’m stuck with a gym membership contract that I never use and am unable to cancel until the term expires. I can’t wait to get rid of that one.. Stupid Me!!!
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This post and the comments are definitely a classic!
To Sam (#21) re: Rosetta Stone
RS is pretty fierce about tracking down and eliminating any posts on eBay and Craig’s List advertising used version of their product because the EULA (End-User License Agreement) prohibits resale. It’s rather difficult to find it at a bargain price. Good luck!
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I grew up playing piano (8 years of lessons) and have played intermittently since going to college in 2000. Now married, when we bought our home last year one of the first things we did was get a free upright piano from Craigslist.
It was out of tune and one key didn’t work. I took it apart and repaired the cracked hammer. Then I bought a tuning wrench ($30) and tuned it myself. Google taught me how.
It’s not the world’s best piano, but it sure beats playing on a keyboard, and it sure beats the cost of a keyboard.
Eventually we might buy a newer, better, piano but this one fits us well for now. And both my wife and I play it at least a few times a week.
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when i was really short on cash, i used to never have this problem. I bought photography stuff and used the heck out of them b/c i’d spent so much money on it. but now that i have a little disposable income, i catch myself buying totally useless things for the reasons you state above and i don’t feel that bad about it b/c i look at it as sunk cost.
it’s particularly scary b/c i want the ipad so badly X_X
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I’ve found that this same tendency you’re talking about is a great way for those of us who don’t do it to score great deals on barely used equipment. I needed a bike for a triathlon I was training for, and I found one on Craigslist from a girl who had invested quite a lot in the bike and various accessories but never used them. I got a great bike for little to no money, and she got the guilt of never using the bike out of her house. I guess it was a win for both of us in different ways.
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Excellent Post. I so fall into this category of buying some “thing” in hopes that it will help me achieve some task.
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Sam,
There are many *free* spanish lesson resources on the internet. really, they ARE FREE. All you need is the *WANT* to do it. I taught my self spanish and greek (just conversational, i can’t write an essay or anything) just with the internet.
I have not used the FSI govt language program yet but someone shared this link with me…
http://www.fsi-language-courses.org/Content.php?page=Spanish
The best thing I ever did was to learn salsa dancing and listen to spanish music and date a latino. If the latter is not an option, listen to some latin rock or salsa. But seriously if you can find a latina chic who can teach you spanish, that is the best investment ever.
Worthy purchase: dictionary
Hang out at borders and do grammar exercises.
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It is amazing what can be learned without the expensive equipment – pianos, for example, can be hired or bought second hand (sure, old nasty ones are hard to tune, but that won’t matter for a few years!). My piano teacher taught a girl who didn’t have any piano at all at home – she had a piece of paper with keys drawn on it taped to the edge of the kitchen table and practiced on that.
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This is a frequent phenomenon, and one that advertisers count on. (Like those buff folks shown working out on Exerciser commercials?) But the thing is that that effect occurring in your mind can be destroyed by asking yourself, “Am I really going to out-do everyone in this new field, just because I have this new piece of equipment?”
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This blog is so true!!
I went to Everest last year with a friend of mine. We took almost 12 months to buy our gear as we knew what we needed and waited until it was all on sale.
In our group was a guy who had spent thousands of dollars on top of the range hiking equipment and clothes and latest versions of everything, he had to leave half of it in Kathmandu because the porters can only take 12 kilos per bag!
He also only lasted a couple of days on the walk because he had all the latest gear but hadn’t done much exercise to train for the trip.
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Hi J.D.,
Great post as always. My experience with this topic is sort of a happy medium. In 2007, the idea of becoming an elite triathlete was “cooking” in my mind after watching the Ironman on TV.
Unsure if this was something that would “stick”, I introduced myself to cycling by investing $200 in a basic used bicycle. While that sounds like a lot, even a used entry-level racing bike will run about $1000.
Well, fast forward to 2008, and I did end up spending $2000 on a mid-grade carbon fiber bicycle and all the other fixings a triathlete needs(wetsuit, running gear, etc.). And in 2009, I completed the Ford Ironman Triathlon in Florida, a grueling 15-hour race, considered the holy grail for triathletes…and for some, a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
It’s okay to spend based on who you want to be, but it’s important to take exploratory “baby steps”, by buying used on craigslist, ebay, and the like. This will allow you to feel out if who you want to be is realistically within reach, and not have you break the bank in the process of figuring that out.
Of course, this is not a universal rule. I am merely sharing my own experience that with my $200, I would have been able to learn whether or not to get out of this sport early on before spending a few thousands.
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Best. Post. Ever.
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To the commenters above who are talking about a 35mm camera making better pictures than a 110 … no, it doesn’t. A 35mm camera just makes DIFFERENT pictures than a 110!
You’re comparing a pencil to oil paint: oil paint produces some beautiful pictures, but if you try to use oil painting techniques with a pencil, you’re not going to end up with an oil painting, but with a bunch of pictures that look like *%^&%. But if you use techniques designed for the pencil, you can end up with art.
The secret to making good pictures with a 110 is to rethink what you want from the final image. 110 film captures much less detail than a 35mm camera (a frame of 110 film contains 1/4 the space that a frame of 35mm film does), so you need to work with that: you’re not going to get a sharp, clear, smooth photo, so you look for pictures that are enhanced by graininess, blurriness, and so on. Think pinhole cameras: you can make art with a 110 cartridge and a piece of tinfoil with a hole punched in it.
There’s a photography movement called Lomography, which is pictures inspired by low-resolution snapshot-style cameras of the past. Click on my name in this comment to see a gallery of photos that you can browse to see some high- and low-resolution film and digital pictures.
Art is in the eye of the artist, not in the materials.
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I had this epiphany at a Deseret Industries store in Salt Lake City about 15 years ago when shopping with a friend. We had loaded our carts up with frou-frous, cake plates, etc. Somehow we ended up laughing over how we were always buying stuff for the lifestyle we thought we wanted, not the one we really had. We put it all back all the while laughing about it. So now whenever I see something luxurious I think I want I ask myself if it really fits my lifestyle and I usually laugh and decide I don’t really want it.
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I found myself doing these mistakes over and over. I was buying quality stuff for everything I wanted to be. If I wanted to become a scientist, I bought a telescope, a microscope and a chemistry set without really using them. I wanted to be a musician and while I played seriously, I found my home flooded with an excessive number of instruments. The same thing happened with books about a lot of different subjects.
One day, I finally realized that I expected the stuff to transform me into what I wanted to be. I bought things to change the way my life was flowing but I didnt took the time to commit myself into change…
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I’m a piano teacher and I require students to have a piano they can practice on… BUT I’ve found really good results with families who decide to Rent a piano at first.
It’s not very expensive (about $25-$40/month at many places) and helps the parents get over the worry that their child will tire of lessons after 6 months and then they’ll be stuck with a big, expensive, unused piano.
Also, most companies have a Rent-to-Own option, where the money you give them monthly accrues toward buying a piano (not necessariy the older ‘renter’ you have either), should you decide in a while that you want to go ahead and take the plunge.
Also, these places usually deliver the pianos for you, and you’re assured they’re in tune, which is something you can’t take for granted with a used craigslist piano.
(That said, I’ve found several great pianos on craigslist that were free, the owners simply stipulated that you pay to have them moved out and then they’re yours… it costs about $200-$500 in my city to have a piano moved, depending on the company and the number of stairs!;)
Hope this helps anyone who isn’t taking lessons simply because they can’t afford a piano. Have a rental delivered, try it out for 6 months, and during that time you’ll have figured out if it’s just going to be a big dust-catcher or if you’ve just discovered a relaxing new passion!
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Mystery Solved.. now I know why I have 12 guitars on my wall as art.
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Staying “financially fit” and “keeping up with the Joneses” are two mutually exclusive things. Its not gonna happen, unless you have tons of discretionary income.
You have go to make a choice.
Guess what? I could care less about the Joneses.
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Your post is SPOT ON.
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JD
Your insight is spot on – again.
I reckon this phenomenon also applies to buying books on subjects you want to know more about, but then never actually reading the books you buy. It’s like hoping that just owning the book will mean the knowledge is absorbed by osmosis rather than by taking the time to actually read them.
I also wonder whether there’s a buying-addiction or a marketing aspect involved? Becoming interested in a new topic creates an excuse to buy the necessary stuff, generating the pleasure (there’s no other way to describe it) of seeking out, buying, setting up and playing with new stuff. And marketers are happy to feed the beast, by trying to convince us we need this stuff if we ever want to be what we aspire to.
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This is very true, and made me think of “Confessions of a Shopaholic”, where the chick buys an expensive scarf to become the kind of sophisticated girl who’d wear such a scarf, or buys yoga clothes before signing up for lessons
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Excellent post! When I go back home today, this will hit hard. Looks like it’s time to put these items up on eBay!
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Thanks for this wonderful post!
It really hit home the things we do in hope of becoming someone but are in actual fact avoiding the real hard work that’s necessary to achieve it.
This article is deliciously saved.
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Oh man, what a great post. You’ve inspired me to write a post myself. What you are describing is like putting the reward before the work. And I don’t think you are alone!
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Very true. I can relate to this. Even from when I was a teenager and decided I wanted to start my own web design company (granted, I did tinker with html code so I wasn’t completely putting the cart before the horse), and got my mom to shell out hundreds of dollars for various software programs, the guilt is still with me that I didn’t fully use the programs. And my mom still reminds me. I did manage to recently land a contract to design a website for a friend’s company, and got paid for it, so that lessens some of the guilt… but I can definitely agree with the whole spend who you are thing. I am definitely not a web designer nor will I ever be. Some of the programs my mom bought helped me out with computer skills in general, but Macromedia Flash, for example, is still collecting dust somewhere.
I find instances where I still do the whole spending what I want to be thing: buying clothes a size or two too small to motivate me to lose that last 10 lbs. Luckily I don’t do this a lot, but I have never worn some perfectly good clothes just because I bought them too small and never lost that weight. Silly, but I don’t think I am the only one who does this. At least I am now taking boxing lessons so perhaps I will lose that 10 lbs after all
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This is a great point. My husband and I made the decision before we even got married to live on only one salary so that we’d never suffer true damage from trying to live a dream life. Realism and money go well together.
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