Last Thursday, on April Fool’s Day, I wrote about my obsession with gadgets and how much that’s cost me over the years. As always, your comments and stories were more entertaining (and instructive) than the post itself. In fact, a comment from chacha1 gave me a flash of insight. She wrote:
The thing that’s a *headdesk* for me is the digital piano in my dining room. It’s an excellent instrument, but at the time I bought it I hadn’t played regularly for over ten years. And I’ve had it over six years and have barely played it.
Oh my word. I’ve done this sort of thing so many times in the past, and I continue to make this mistake even today. But it wasn’t until reading this comment that I realized what exactly I was doing wrong.
My problem is that I buy something in order to pursue a hope or a dream, and then expect that this new thing to somehow change who I am. If I buy a new camera, I expect it to make me a pro photographer. If I buy a bunch of Latin books, I expect I’ll be somebody who spends his time reading Latin. (In 2004, I bought a bunch of Latin books just for this purpose; I still don’t know Latin.)
Perhaps the worst example comes from the early 1990s, back when I was struggling most with my spending. I decided I wanted to become a computer programmer. To that end, I spent thousands of dollars on programming books and software tools, as well as subscriptions to programming magazines. Guess what? None of these things made me a programmer. They just put me further into debt. It was as if I’d traded a few thousand dollars for nothing.
“You are the master of buying something in the hopes that it will create a need,” Kris said after I told her about this post. “Look at all the Stuff you own because you hoped it’d make you become a different person.”
She’s right: chess sets, woodworking tools and books, camera equipment, exercise gear, and more. I write a lot about my battle with Stuff; much of this Stuff can be seen as monuments to my hopes and dreams. In a way, it’s like “keeping up with the Joneses”, except the Joneses are some idealized version of me.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m all for big hopes and dreams, and I think it’s great to find ways to motivate yourself to success. But it’s important to be smart about how you spend on this sort of thing. Yes, tell yourself that if you learn to play the piano, you can buy a keyboard. If you learn to cook, you can buy some fancy kitchen gear. If you lose 40 pounds, you can buy a new wardrobe. (I have stacks of clothes that are several sizes too small; I bought them because I thought it would motivate me to lose weight.)
Buy these things as rewards, not because you expect merely having them will change who you are. Or, another way to think of it: Buy things as you need them instead of buying them with the expectation that you’ll use them. If you find you need a treadmill because you ran all summer, and now the weather is poor, then buy a treadmill. But don’t buy a treadmill just because you think it’ll motivate you to run. Become a runner first.
There’s a part of me that really wants to learn to play the piano. I love the idea of putting an upright piano in the corner of our living room; it’d look great in our hundred-year old house. But I’m older and wiser now, and I know better. It makes no sense to buy a piano just because I want to learn to play. Buying an instrument won’t make me a musician. The first step is to take lessons. If I’m able to stick with piano lessons for a year or more, and if I think I’ll continue to play, well, maybe then a piano would make sense. But not before.
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The comments about buying clothes too small makes me laugh a bit. I found that I could not lose weight until I got rid of all the favorites I had hoped to wear again. I kept them for years and years, but just got bigger and bigger.
One year after finally letting go of the last pair of skinny jeans, the weight is gone and they would fit me again. I miss those clothes some, but I am quite certain that if I’d kept them I’d still be overweight.
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I think there are a few approaches to starting a new hobby that requires gear.
1. Look at what you have, and figure out if you can use any of that for now even if it’s not ideal for the job. (For example, if you want to start lap swimming and you only have beach bathing suits, as long as they’re suitable for the pool, suppress your ego and use them for a while until you get into enough of a routine to justify buying racing trunks.)
2. Figure out the lowest possible initial investment to set yourself up for success. Sometimes this means buying “throwaway” entry-level gear. (For example, if you’re a musician, buy a student instrument rather than a pro model.) The issue here is that this level of gear doesn’t hold its value very well. Don’t spend what you’re not comfortable losing.
3. Buy quality equipment used. Even if it’s more expensive, you will probably be able to sell it for close to what you bought it for if it doesn’t work out. (Of course, this means you need the willpower to throw in the towel and get your money out.)
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Repeat after me: -us -i -o -um -o -e
-i -orum -os -is -os. Now you have mastered the second declension endings of Latin. The only book you really need is any edition of Wheelock, which you can get used for a few bucks.
Then again, as I am neither a classicist or a Vatican beauracrat, I’ve used my Latin skills about twice in a twenty year career. So maybe all that work in college would have been better devoted to something in finance or engineering? You’re post brought a smile of nostalgia to my face. Gratias ago.
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GREAT POST!
It sure is all about priorities, I like to think that I have made significant progress in this realm since my early freshly graduated (wow I can’t believe I’ll ever be able to spend all this money I’m making) optimism. I spent lots of money on gadgets that eventually got donated (the yogurt maker, fitness equipment) that continue to not be terribly well used (the bread maker, XL cuisinart), but on the same note – I took LOTS of classes and have a full art studio in my basement – that when I make it a priority – I really enjoy spending time there, and create some really wonderful things that amaze my family and friends, and all of our friends LOVE coming to our house for dinner because I’ve become such a good cook.
I think it’s all about balance – and recognizing why you want to purchase something – because you’ll actually use it – or because you HOPE you’ll actually use it.
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There is a great Charles Bukowski poem that I immediately thought of when I read this.
air and light and time and space
“–you know, I’ve either had a family, a job,
something has always been in the
way
but now
I’ve sold my house, I’ve found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I’m going to have
a place and the time to
create.”
no baby, if you’re going to create
you’re going to create whether you work
16 hours a day in a coal mine
or
you’re going to create in a small room with 3 children
while you’re on
welfare,
you’re going to create with part of your mind and your body blown
away,
you’re going to create blind
crippled
demented,
you’re going to create with a cat crawling up your
back while
the whole city trembles in earthquake, bombardment,
flood and fire.
baby, air and light and time and space
have nothing to do with it
and don’t create anything
except maybe a longer life to find
new excuses
for.
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> Figure out the lowest possible initial investment to set yourself up for success.
I second this remark.
As a musician myself (piano & violin), I can tell you that when you reach the limitations of your current equipment, it will be _very_ obvious.
1 (or both) of these things will happen:
1. Your teacher will start commenting on how your equipment is holding you back…and do so for several weeks.
2. You will try to do something that you were able to get working on the teacher’s instrument and find it utterly impossible to reproduce at home.
with portable instruments, #1 kicks in. For pianos, #2 will generally become painfully obvious and then you can talk to your teacher to confirm the problem.
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Agree with Dotty dot dot. Best post ever!! It reminds me of my late husband who always wanted to own his own business and knew nothing about business at all. He spent thousands on how to start your own business manuals and never did any thing with them. He always worried about leaving me without some type of inheritance. If he had put that money into the bank, I’d be a lot better off financially.
I’m not really complaining because he left me with many beautiful memories and I told him I never resented him spending the money because I considered it his hobby, besides he never neglected family obligations. Family and bills always came first.
Now all I have to do is remember this post whenever I make a purchase.
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Great article, and I agree with the general premise. I’ve also fallen into the trap of buyings lots of stuff I didn’t need when taking up a new pursuit.
Although the piano example sounds a bit odd to me – anyone learning to play an instrument will need to practice regularly between lessons if they want to progress as well as possible, so not having a piano at home (or at least daily access to one elsewhere) would be a problem. I know there are exceptions where people have learned to play even without having their own piano, but learning an instrument is challenging enough in the early stages – why make it more difficult for yourself?
In such a case, it would maybe make sense to rent one or get a cheaper ‘student’ model initially, rather than buying the super-expensive option – but not having an instrument to practice on at all is a bad idea, IMO.
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Great post J.D., I have my house full of stuff I don’t use because of that. Nowadays I’m more critical on purchases that I do.
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I have to say this is one of my favorite posts. I’m guilty of this as well. Thanks for writing about this.
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