The idea of social capital falls into the same theory of social reciprocity. Responding to a positive action with another positive action, and responding to a negative action with another negative one. It is basically a bank where you put a deposit or take one out.

There is nothing wrong with this. People respond to postive actions towards them and when you need it, you have people to draw from to help you in times or need or opportunity…

I am of two (or more) minds about this. On the one hand, I’m somewhat like Luke and other introverts. I had a very painful childhood, not because of my family, but because of how I was treated by people outside of my family. I was bullied all through junior high school. Severely. I grew into a depressed teen and, though less so, a depressed adult. I struggle with depression every day. I have also been hurt as an adult. It is hard to reach out, and also too much contact with other people wears me out. I totally get the urge not to reach out, too cocoon. My boyfriend, though for different reasons, is the same way. We both simply prefer to minimize our interactions with people outside of our own inner circle (us, some family members, few enough friends to count on one hand.)

That said, I actually do a lot to invest in my own social capital. We both regularly donate food to our local food shelter. We have both helped out various neighbors with different things here and there. I regularly help my parents and his family out with things. I even sometimes smile and make small talk with a random person. I’m involved with animal rescue, and I regularly speak up when someone asks for advice or needs comforting.

None of these things are easy for me, and some don’t feel good (so I only do them once and never again,) but I have always recognized that our world will only get better if we are kind to one another. Americans, in general, are not kind people (I’m an American, so I can say that.) I find a lot of people shallow and self-centered. I don’t want to be like that. It takes a great deal of effort for me to reach out, but I do.

If nothing else is said of me when I die, I’d like for people to be able to say, “Yes. I remember her. She was a very kind person.”

My last comment is to say that I also agree with the folks who say to be careful in whom you invest. There are plenty of psychic vampires and “just plain takers” out there. It is healthy to become aware of these folks and to protect our own health and resources. It’s not something you know right away. You learn after a few interactions with these folks who they are.

One of your best posts ever, JD!

I responded to this article in my blog.
http://realme42.blogspot.com/2010/05/social-capital-with-little-help-from-my.html

Sure, you probably WILL get something back, and the power of compounding may apply here too. Intersting concept.

That said, giving and helping without direct strings attached is a great thing. Not that we all have the ability to do so every minute of the day, as we have our own responsibilities, but it’s good to help when you can.

You’re all collectively right – I’m aware that I’ll need to take the first step and ‘put myself out there’ a bit more, change my routine and at least give myself the chance to meet new folk!

Comments were much appreciated – there you go – some more social capital for you (even if I’m too far away to mow your lawn!)

” But… You can’t enter social capital into a spreadsheet…”

Sure you can, or at least track some of it (just to gauge affect, not to “keep track”) with an astrick * in regularly used columns like gardening (JD’s garden experiment) or bartering items on want list i.e.:

Grocery: (-@6.99 for 2lbs organic green beans from Mrs. Cobb in exchange for hour emergency kid watching)

Wants completed: 10-speed bike* (stopped to chat with Mike while he was cleaning garage)

etc. etc. etc.

I know for myself, I’ve gotten where I don’t interact with people much, I guess I get too nervous about crime, or being taken advtage of, or, just not having time, but I need to remember, doesn’t take but a minute to say hello, or to do something nice for someone, and make your day, as well as their better. The ripple effect they call it.

Great article!! Though I never mind the ones about STUFF, I like those a lot since I’m trying to get rid of mine!

When I was still firmly in the middle of my hometown social network, I received lots of things from other people. They knew I was living thriftily to finish my University education, and sent stuff they were tired off or cleaning out my way. It became embarassing to me, because it started to feel it was a one-way flow. There was not much I could do in return, so I would offer babysitting, painting, etc., which was not often accepted. I still have the feeling of being indebted to them.

If I explained all of the ways this was so, this would be a very long comment. Let me just say, she is the only person I know who considers her exterminator one of her best friends. And she truly never expects anything in return – just the good feelings she gets from helping others.

She recently came down with cancer, and her social capital has paid back in full with all of the people who have come along side us through this.

I grew up with a rich community of people around me through my mom and all of her friendships. I can only hope I can build the same environment for my kids to grow up in, but I have big shoes to fill.

I love the idea of social capital, and until you brought it up it wasn’t really something that I considered as a commodity. I think this was an excellent post. I would attribute the extra generosity during your trip to diffusion of responsibility – see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diffusion_of_responsibility

Basically it means that the fewer people that are there, the more each individual feels responsible for the collective whole. It seems that since the population in Alaska is small compared to that of a major city, the people there have a larger sense of social responsibility towards each other. I think this is wonderful, and I wish it could be more present everywhere.

I think that Becky put it excellently.

But I’m fine with this. People say I shouldn’t be, but if I’m happy, I don’t see what’s wrong with it. Maybe it’s because I was raised in a family where you ALWAYS have family when you need it, but I just never felt the need to cultivate strong friendship ties.

Have a wonderful long weekend everyone! I am starting mine early.

Some people also have an easier time of it than others. This is one reason why social stigma is so damaging. Emotionally, yes, and financially as well. If you are ostracised for your religion, your mental illness, your sexual preference, there’s nobody around to give you one of their tomato plants so you have to spend more on food, nobody to drive you to the hospital when you’re sick, so you get a big ambulance or cab bill, etc.

The importance of social capital is often overlooked. When they started shutting down the projects here in Chicago and moving people into apartments in different neighborhoods, they unwittingly broke up a lot of these networks and caused unintended harm.

Like Luke (comment #4), I was a troublemaker when I was younger. As I grew up, I gradually changed my ways and became a nicer, more considerate person. I made a huge effort to treat my friends, girlfriends, and family with kindness and help them when I could. However, I found that when the time came when I needed help, I had no one who was willing to offer any. These people had formed an image of me in their mind and it was not simply erased once I changed my behavior.

The message I’m trying to convey is that social capital is great, but not every person is a great “investment” so to speak. Some people will never return favors, but will openly accept kindness (and even ask for it) from others. Sure, the idea behind social capital is that it’s not a requirement for someone to “pay you back,” but some people will take everything you can give and not even offer a “thank you.” Be careful about who you choose to help.

I personally have decided to adopt an “individualistic” approach to life. Yes, it’s hard at times, but doing things on your own makes you feel good and confers a lot of pride.

I am a 40-something single lady who lives in a city with no close relatives. I have spent close to 10 years building a community or support system for myself. You could call this social capital. When a friend became seriously ill 5 years ago, it scared me to think I may not have anyone to help me in my time of need, so I stepped up my social connections.

I am happy to report that I feel very firmly embedded in a web of support that I have created. When I nearly lost my job two years ago, I had no less than 5 friends or family that offered me a place to stay if I needed it. There was money available to borrow if I needed that (not that I would ever take them up on it). It still isn’t the same as being surrounded by close family, but at least I know help is there if I need it. (And PS – I would do the same for them).

Luke – it’s never too late to start! Join clubs (try meetup.com, a running club, or a movie club), volunteer in your community. Contact your college alumni association and meet fellow alumni. Ask a colleague to grab a beer sometime. That is how you start. It’s up to you to make the first move!

Luke, I married someone like you. It’s never too late to build a network. My husband was a teenage pain in the butt and wasn’t all that much better in his early 20′s when we got married. He’s an opinionated pessimist which makes it hard to make friends…people think he’s a downer, but he’s really sweet and dependable and funny as hell when you get him going – great sense of humor. He balances out my rampant optimism too, lol.

Anyway, he discovered Curling this year and is enthralled. He’s made a great group of friends. I love to hang out with them when I can make it simply since all those guys are a ton of fun and enjoy my husband’s company – real friends. You might have the same thing happen if you can find a hobby that just clicks.

Don’t give up or feel down…you obviously built a little social capital with the people commenting today – me for one and I see a ton of other people that replied as well.

Like Luke, I was a loner and outsider as a teen and didn’t even care to change that during college and grad school. Only after completely changing my environment and getting involved in a sport I’d barely heard of (ballroom dancing) did I develop a strong network – because I was finally meeting people outside my workplace.

Would not go back to the hermit life even if I could.

Thanks for sharing! I know what you mean! When I was 22 I moved to Los Angeles by myself and I didn’t know ANYONE. It was the hardest 3 years of my life. I moved back to Michigan because I was sick of living without a strong network. Best of luck to you!

The tragic oil spill in the gulf reminds us that we have reached the limits of our abuse of the environment. The economic and social crises that we are now beginning to face are the result of our environment reaching the breaking point.

Human society will be forced to change (hopefully it will decide to change before it is forced) to accomodate the rapid rise of people living with fewer resources. Social capital is the glue that will hold us together, and keep us from falling into violence and chaos. Fortunately, social capital also brings out the best in us (as you point out) and improves our chances for a flourishing life.

The crash of “life as we know it” will not be as devastating as the media would lead us to believe. Consumerism is not the path to happiness. Social capital is. Thanks so much for the post.

You move six steps ahead of most of the “experts” when you ask the right questions, J.D.

Rob