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This guest post from Jaime Tardy is part of the “reader stories” feature here at Get Rich Slowly. Some reader stories contain general “how I did X” advice, and others are examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success — or failure. These stories feature folks from all levels of financial maturity, and with all sorts of incomes.
In 2005, I was working more than 60 hours a week in a position that required me to travel around the U.S. I made great money, but I hated my job.
My husband and I wanted to start a family, and I knew that I couldn’t work so many hours with a baby. My goal was to work part time. The problem was we had over $70,000 in debt, and I made over two-thirds of the income.
I felt like I was at the bottom of Mount Everest looking up, but I knew I could only take it one step at a time. I was focusing on the top of the mountain when I really should have been looking at the start of the trail.
First steps
I started to read everything about personal finance and getting rid of debt. I found Get Rich Slowly and The Simple Dollar. I read Suze Orman and Dave Ramsey.
We decided to start Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover in January 2006. At the time, our debt looked like this:
- Honda Civic $19,300
- Student Loan 1 $3,400
- Student Loan 2 $22,780
- Home Equity Loan $24,560
We’d just bought a brand new Honda Civic two months before. It was almost one third of our debt, and I loved it. I had images of taking a new little baby home in it. It was going to be the family car. But we finally had to ask, “What’s more important: Driving in our awesome family car to work everyday, or having a clunker in the driveway while I stay home?”
I had heard that the second you drive a car off the lot it loses value. I was really scared to find out how much our Civic had depreciated. It turned out we only lost $1,000 on a trade in!
Having the guts to make such a hard decision really jump-started our journey. It pushed us to become stronger and work harder.
Our plan
In March 2006, I learned that I was pregnant. The clock was now ticking!
Our next steps were to get on a budget, and to sell everything we could. We realized two things in the process: We didn’t have a clue how much we spent, and we had no idea how much Stuff we had.
After a few months of selling things and reworking the budget, we hit our stride. We started working side jobs, and I started traveling more to earn the on-site bonuses my work provided.
My husband has a very sporadic income as a performing artist. He started doing website design and graphic design to make extra money. He took any job that he could and was working literally day and night on extra projects.
He worked like a dog for those months and dealt with a very pregnant wife, so I commend him at what a great job he did!
A safety net
A few months before our son was born, we realized that if we put all of our money towards debt, and we had issues with the pregnancy or the birth, we wouldn’t have any money to pay for the care. Instead of tackling the final debt, we decided to build up our emergency fund.
When Finley was born, we had one $23,000 debt and $23,000 in the bank. The birth didn’t have any complications, but I had come to rely on having money in the bank. I couldn’t fathom paying off that last debt, because I’d be quitting my job without any savings in the bank.
After careful thought, we decided to keep the emergency fund. I ended up going back to work after maternity leave, and we continued to push really hard. Less than three months after going back to work, we had enough money to pay off the final debt. We were finally debt free!
Jaime’s GRS contest video in which she tells her story in two minutes
Quitting my job
In April of 2007, I quit my job. It was one of the best days of my life knowing that we accomplished our goal, and I could be home with my son. Now I’ve even found a career that I’m extremely passionate about. I work part time as a personal and business coach, and I wake up each morning so excited to start my day.
At my blog, Eventual Millionaire, my motto is: Life is about more than money. First you have to find the life you want, and then you can make your million. That’s why I call myself an “eventual” millionaire. But I feel rich already.
Reminder: This is a story from one of your fellow readers. Please be nice. After nearly a decade of blogging, I have a thick skin, but it can be scary to put your story out in public for the first time. Remember that this guest author isn’t a professional writer, and is just learning about money like you are.
This article is about Reader Stories Sunday, 13th June 2010 (by J.D. Roth)
Love it, we worked a similar plan (paid off $55,500 in a year) except we didn’t have a new car payment. I love that you had the courage to get rid of the new car payment, I think a lot of people get stuck at that step.
Great story Jaime, it’s an inspiration!
Thank you so much. I didn’t realize it took courage at the time!
I think it was one of those, enough is enough moments.
I checked out your blog, impressive net worth. You are so close!
I enjoyed the narrative. Keep it up, both writing and taking control of financial issues. Thanks.
It’s a great story and thanks for sharing it. We’re almost done with all debt except the house. And then we plan to tackle it, too! I’ll check out your site because I need all the inspiration I can get!
Congratulations to you, your husband, and Finley! People can do amazing things with focus, determination, and hard work. Enjoy the fruits of your labor!
Thanks so much. I remember reading every success story I could when I was getting out of debt.
It was my main source of motivation, so I was so happy that JD put it up. It’s so cool to be an inspiration to others!
Thank you so much for sharing your dreams and the steps you took to achieve this. It is very brave of you to quit your job for an even better job; being a full time mother and still able to have your own business on the side. Congratulations!
I really like these stories - but what the heck kind of income is this family pulling in that they can save $23k, pay off aprox $25k, and pay off another $23k in three months time? That is over $70k in less than a year AFTER living expenses! I would have liked a little more detail - were they getting help? was she making an obscene amount of money at her job?
I mean, paying of that last $23k in three months? That made me wonder why they even had debt in the first place.
What do you do about health insurance now that you’re both freelance?
Great, you got out of debt. But you hurt your earning power for the rest of your adult life, and made it next to impossible to recover your chances of ever making it back to the same track you were on before.
Granted, working 60 hours a week with a baby is ridiculous, but I can’t get past the idea that you quit a high paying job and left the career you presumably spent the better part of a decade training for to chase some pipe dream about domestic bliss. I hope you have a financial plan in place if you become one of the 50% of marriages in the US that fall apart.
Congratulations, Jaime. I have downloaded several Suze iTunes episodes and keep them running on Saturdays when I might otherwise be out spending money. It’s helped me remember my focus.
I wholeheartedly agree on the importance of first finding the life you want.
Thanks to J.D. for this site, too. Google Reader delivers GRS to me daily and every day I am one step closer to financial independence.
Longtime reader; first time poster.
FYI - I did browse her blog some and found her original post on the subject that went into more detail about the stuff they sold and how they found extra money. Or how in those last few months they had things like tax returns to put towards the last $23k.
http://www.eventualmillionaire.com/blog/2010/04/how-i-paid-off-over-70000-in-debt-and-quit-my-job/
I think that it was still a lot of debt to be able to actually get through in that short of an amount of time - but it is sometimes good to see that even if you have lots of money to work with, anyone can still fall into the debt trap.
Jaime;
Thanks so much for sharing your inspirational story. I am also in the position where I am a mom and make twice as much as my partner. I also found my work very stressful and felt like I was trading my life and time with my daughter for a big paycheck.
About two months ago now I quit my job without having another one, which was really, really scary. I am currently working full-time as a consultant, and I am hoping to find a way to work part-time.
We recently found out that our house is worth about $70,000 more than we paid for it 6 years ago, so we have about $100,000 in equity in our house. We love our house, but I feel the burden of taking care of such a big house, and we’ve decided to downsize. We’re going to sell this house, and use the equity to buy a smaller house, which will leave us with very little debt, and I’ll have to ability to work part time.
Thanks again for sharing your story!
Coincedentally (sp?), I did the same thing last year with a 2008 Honda Civic. I lost about $2500, but that was negative equity from my last vehicle, and I was prepared to lose that much. I traded the 08 in for an 01 and cut my payments (including my insurance) in half! It was definitley worth it! I now owe about $1800 on the 01 and I am so looking forward to having it paid off!
Awesome and inspiring story.
If only everyone would get in gear, get out and stay out of debt, and shape up their financial life like this. We probably wouldn’t be in this economic mess if most people were as debt-averse as the readers and writers of this site.
Great story - it shows how having a goal and doing some planning can really help.
Very interesting how little your car depreciated. That’s example of how just because everyone says something (driving car off lot = 40% loss) doesn’t mean it’s true.
Mike
She is right on in saying that you must focus on your needs and desires before you earn your millions. If you deny your needs you are just a miser sitting on a mountain of cash.
Amazing story! So inspirational. I know how hard it was to trade in your car- but I’m sure being debt free is so much more fun and a better way to live life. Your story has definitely inspired me to begin to sell the ‘excess’ in my life and to keep the car I already have instead of trading it in for a car I’ve been eyeing- a new Kia Soul.
Mary-
She specifically stated that while she was making good money, she was working 60 hours a week and, direct quote “I hated my job”.
You may disagree with her choice to quit her job, but your disagreement seems to be rooted in your own beliefs about stay at home mothers and marriage, because your assessment of her choice had little to do with the motivations for her choice as she has shared them with us.
This is a great story. Congratulations for having the guts to get rid of the car! Most people wouldn’t even consider it.
I think keeping an emergency fund was also a very smart thing to do, as it made you feel safer. Number-wise, you may have lost some money in the interest, but you had peace of mind, and that’s very important.
I’m glad you’re doing okay and can spend time with your son AND found a career you really enjoy! And kudos to your husband for supporting you financially and emotionally during your pregnancy, it sounds like he gave it his all
I’m glad for the both of you - no, the three of you - and this story makes me really happy. I hope it will encourage people by showing them how you can get out of debt even if the clock is ticking for one reason or another - for instance a pregnancy. That there is hope, and they shouldn’t put their hands up and give up before trying
Congrats on being debt-free. However, I am skeptical of the sustainability of the choices. I wondered immediately why the person making 2/3 of the income, with bonus potential and presumably employer-subsidized insurance and 401k, would quit the job, rather than the one making 1/3 as a freelancer.
I looked at your blog, and the front page states, “My husband and I have a sporadic income since we are both self employed.” Your budget breakdown lists no retirement or additional emergency fund savings, etc. Maybe I am missing something, but the budget does not seem to prepare for future goals, but is more living-by-the-moment, which is precarious in this economy.
Mary: some women will sacrifice so so much to be with their children. They don’t ask, nor want anything in return. Unfair or insane? Maybe. But they off is huge. The author is a smart woman, surely she is taking care of her bottom line. To do so is to also take care of her children. Because we all know what happen to women when they are divorced with children
A huge pay off, I meant to say!
@Lynn (#22) - Actually, the poster’s math is off. She said on her blog that total income while she was working was $130k and her share was $100k. That’s actually a little over 3/4 of the prior household income. If she has problems with something as simple as division…
Guess my first comment is stuck in the spam filter:
@Lynn (#22): The poster’s math is off. According to her blog, her household income was $130k and her share was $100k. She actually brought in a little over 3/4 of the prior household income. If she has problems with something as simple as division…
@Rachel211 We made about $130k per year. I made $100k. My husband has a sporadic income, and those months were the best.
It was three months after going back to work, I stayed home with my son for three months though, so it was about 6 months time. (My son was 5 and a half months when I quit)
@Trina Congrats! It’s all about trading. I remember thinking living in a much smaller house would be so worth it to have the life I wanted.
Turns out I didn’t have to live in a smaller house either! Things seemed to work out so well.
Wow… the comments are a bit harsh. Please be nice! Though I suppose you could leave comments on her own blog where she has the moderation power instead of J.D.
I’ve done a spin through the blog.
I’d still like to get more detail on the health insurance– the latest budget on the blog says they’ve changed health insurance, but I’d like more info on that. I wonder if living in Maine they’re able to take advantage of the huge increase in MA independent plans or if those are still cut off by state borders.
Nobody should have to work 70 hours a week on a job they hate in order to make a 6 figure salary. That’s true whether they have children or not. Whether they’re female or not. Happiness is what is important, not maximizing money. There’s a lot of happiness to be gotten on a more lower to middle middle-class income.
Looking through the blog, the children have 20hr/week childcare. Both parents are working at least part-time. This isn’t really a story about leaving the labor force to become a stay-at-home mom. Not everybody is cut out to be a SAHP and that is ok. Maybe that was the original motivation, but it doesn’t seem to have been what happened in the end. (I’m guessing it’s just culturally easier to say, “We had to get rid of debt so I could quit my job and be a SAHM” than to say “We had to get rid of debt so I could quit the job I hated and find something I enjoyed doing instead.” I’m guessing if she had a Y chromosome she would have said the latter rather than the former.)
We have some friends in the SF bay area who both work part-time (3 and 4 days a week, with one day of that telecommuting), since their child was born, though for companies. They got rid of their school debt early, live frugal lives, and were able to put 40% down on a (small) million dollar house in their early 30s. Their situation seems to be pretty similar except they never ran up huge debt to begin with. I don’t think anybody would judge them negatively.
@Mike I was so worried about losing money too. We almost didn’t do it because we assumed we would have lost $5-$6k.
@Kelsey Sooo worth it
You think it will be good, but it’s been even better than I imagined.
@Nicole We have a high deductible plan now. It’s about $406 a month. Doesn’t cover much but we have an HSA that helps.
@Mary I understand your point. Though in my situation I got that job right out of college. I traveled around the US so to me it wasn’t an option to keep it once I had a baby.
Right now I’m a business coach, work part time, make great money and love it.
@Lynn You’re right. I could be so much better off monetarily if I stayed put. My husband loved his job, and had potential to make a lot more. Plus I wanted to be home more.
In the comments on my post you will see that we do put away for retirement. It’s usually taken out after the busy season when we can verify we are all set for the winter.
I am a planner, so I try to always be prepared. We have a six month emergency fund, plus a huge HSA for medical emergencies.
We do the best we can
@Ann That’s why I put over two-thirds. Being self employed the $130k is our net. Our gross was about two thirds.
I think this is a great story, as it demonstrates how discipline can make the seemingly impossible, possible. I am curious about the poster’s decision to pay off the last $23k in student debt.
When I crunched the numbers on our total student loan debt, it actually made more sense to live with the largest chunk of debt. The reasons were that the interest rate on that loan is under 1% and we are earning 5+%, untaxed, on the money we have invested. (These are our cash savings conservatively invested in tax-free bond funds - not retirement monies.) As nice as it would be to be debt-free, having nearly 1.5 years of emergency fund savings earning a rate of return above inflation makes me sleep better at night than being debt-free and wiping out the family savings in the process.
I’m deeply skeptical of the value of student debt, but once you have it there are times when paying it all off doesn’t make financial sense. I wonder what made the poster decide to pay off the last $23k, other than the motivation to be entirely debt-free.
@Nicole We are stuck within Maine borders on the health insurance. I wish we had more options!
I started out as a stay at home mom. I realized that I really did like working, it was just that job that I didn’t like.
I feel like I have the best of both worlds now.
I would like to commend Jamie on creating the life she wants and values. Leaving a soul-sucking and mind-numbing job takes courage. Her family exited the rat race in such a disciplined and responsible manner. I bookmarked her blog.
Also, Jamie has posted her June budget, a monthly budget. It is premature to extrapolate those figures and make unwarranted assumptions about her household’s fiscal behavior.
Life cannot be reduced to a mathematical equation. You can work every day and upwardly mobile career track and you can get laid off, become ill or disabled. We have all read of others that make plenty of money but are not fiscally healthy. I read about a doctor in the Wall Street Journal, she started out with $250K in student loans (*whew*) - and fell prey to lifestyle inflation and did not pay on her loans for a decade, she now owes a little more than $500K. Something people work just to slavishly service their debt. Being self-employed is not indicative of being lazy or lacking ambition and working is certainly not indicative of having all your ducks in a row.
Thanks for the inspirational story Jamie, kudos to both you and your family!
Count me among those who were confused about why they decided that the one making all the money would be the one to stay home with the kid, rather than the one who was already hardly bringing in any income. Seems like they’ve severely handicapped themselves financially.
Hey that’s pretty cool. Good for you Jaime. Its pretty impressive what people can accomplish if they want something badly enough. So yay! =)
Kevin: Not necessarily, I’m sure that now Jaime and her hubby are being careful with their money. Its easy to live on less if you know what’s important to you. Not everyone wants diamond rings, yachts, and mink coats.
Some people like Jaime just want the freedom to be their for their kids, to spend more time with family, to not have a job that they hate to go to. Its much better to make less and have peace of mind than to make more, be stressed and loathe your job.
I actually believe you can live well on less than 100k, if you don’t go into debt, if you don’t spend money on foolish things and spend money on things that are important to you.
A lot of “luxuries” that are sold as needs such as cable, ipod, 60 inch tv aren’t really needs. In fact, I don’t have cable and I’m fine. I don’t have an ipod, and I’m not suffering, lol. Anyway, kudos to Jaime for achieving her goals.
=)
I want to highlight Dreamchaser’s comment:
There’s a reason that the GRS community is highly regarded, and it’s because it does not stoop to the same level as other sites on the internet. There’s a high level of discourse here. It’s fine to point out mistakes and flaws, and even to disagree, but do it in a way that’s respectful and polite, just as you’d want to be disagreed with. In other words: Don’t be a jerk.
Dreamchaser’s entire comment is well worth reading.
@Carrie I thought about this one a lot too. It was a really hard decision to pay off the student loans. The numbers don’t lie and it would have made fiscal sense to keep it. Especially because if I died the debts would be gone!
In the end we did it because we wanted to be debt free. I didn’t want ANYTHING hanging over my head. Which is also why I want to pay off the mortgage even though it’s at 4.75%
@DreamChaser57 Thank you!
@Kevin It would have made sense financially. My husband is a musician/performer with his brother (audiobody.com). The main reason why he didn’t stop was because it would severely cripple his brothers income too.
Plus he loved his job, and I hated mine. I wanted to be home with the kids.
How did you find the health insurance? How does it compare to what you had before? That itself is really interesting. I know a lot of people in their 30s who feel job-locked… one spouse has to keep the regular job so they can keep group coverage.
I don’t really think that most of the ‘negative’ posts on here are trying to be mean. The more I thought about this story over the day, I think that most people just couldn’t relate to such a large amount of money that was paid off in such a short time.
The grand total was at $70k and then getting rid of the car was a great move bringing it down to $52k immediately. But then there is a lot of talk about being pregnant - so at first I was thinking in a 9 or 12 month time frame. That would have been paying like $4500+ per month towards debt - which most of us can’t possibly imagine having that much surplus income in a month, even with side jobs!
But then I looked at the time line again - they started a few months before getting pregnant (2 months), then the pregnancy (9 months), then her time off which she was still being paid 60% during (3 months), then another 3 months of working. So we are actually looking at a time line of 17 months. And let’s say there was maybe a $3000 tax return in there somewhere and that brings down the extra payments per month to a much more understandable $2800 area. Sure that is still a lot - but someone could do it if they had a nice salary.
I think that my first impression of the story was “I paid off $70k in 1 year” and that wasn’t really the case. Do I make enough money to pay $2800 extra a month to our debts? No, but I would like to think that if I DID that would take the same route and use it to better my situation.
@ those who don’t understand why the husband who made much less didn’t stay home:
You are missing the point. Jaime hated her job. Having a kid was only part of the answer for her if not just the motivation for going through the process of turning her life around and into something productive and happy. Leave her husband alone. He sounds really supportive and his contributions are and should be more than financial. That goes for all relationships.
Re: Dream’s comment: Maybe I missed it, but I didn’t read anyone stating she was lazy or unambitious. In fact, for me it was the opposite- she had worked very hard for a well-paying career. That was impressive.
The surprise for me of the post was that the debt was paid off, so Jaime quit her job. For me, paying off the debt is a first step. After that, the financial house starts getting built.
I am all for moderation in work hours and parents spending more time with kids. My husband and I are at a very similar point, where we have both worked 60+ hours and now want a child so are both scaling back. We have gone about it in a different way that reduces our risk, which we are more comfortable with.
Best of luck to Jaime
Good stuff! Go Jaime, my fellow Yakezie member. Living the dream indeed.
Good on your husband for being a good team player as well.
Best,
Sam
Thank you for your story. Enjoy your time with your little one. Those years are so precious and fleeting, and you will never look back on this time down the road and wish you had worked a zillion hours a week instead.
@ JD - Thanks for the highlight, it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside (LOL) - It is such a dreary day outside in my neck of the woods and I’ve been studying my eyeballs out since the early morning hours, GRS is a welcome reprieve. I saw a couple of typos in the comment, but I’m confident that my gist got across
@ Jamie (Poster #40) - I have boatloads of student loans, equaling six figures, grad school is not cheap, I agree with your sentiments, paying the loans off is a priority for my household, I want absolutely no debt eventually. The thought of paying the loans until I die simply repulses me. No debt means I can leverage our dual incomes to the hilt. So many people play the shell game with student loans, insisting that the interest rate is not that bad. Regardless, the accrued interest capitalizes (added to the principal amount of the loan) and just merely servicing the debt (paying the minimum payments) just keeps you going in circles. Emergency funds go that much farther with less debt. A respectable retirement is much more sustainable with no debt. I am also not sure if private lenders have comparably generous provisions like federal government loans, which includes a temporary stop in payments (deferments / forbearance) due to unemployment, economic hardship and the like. So many people I’ve chatted with feel differently and while I respect their opinions, I stand by my own.
@ Lynn (Poster #45) - You are right and your point is well-taken - no one expressly said that Jamie was lazy or unambitious. I just think some people unconsciously encourage assimilation which includes buying into the corporate “rat race” at the expense to all that’s dear to you, your peace of mind, your health, your family, and your dreams and values. Other posters have said that Jamie should be careful because half of marriages end in divorce, that she’s irrevocably adversely impacted her earning power, that her family is handicapped fiscally. The reality is that the pillars of fiscal health are the same irrespective of whether you have merged or separate finances in a marriage, self-employed or employed by a company, whether you are single, married, divorced or widowed / child, childless. Aggressively attack debt, stay away from consumer debt, save for an emergency fund, limit your fiscal exposure to adversity with insurance (life, disability, long-term), don’t buy too much house, don’t be a slave to your Stuff, investment in retirement, only invest in those things you understand, develop different streams of income, adequately research business ventures and let them grow organically not on debt, always keep educating yourself in the area of personal finance but do not defer to any guru or relative, friend when it comes to YOUR money. In my view, people who have different lifestyles and who have made different choices can still get to the same destination that we all aspire to, financial security.
Sorry for the length - everyone enjoy their Sunday!
@DreamChaser57 (#35) - What mean thing did I state about the poster? I pointed out that her math was off and that makes other things questionable.
Frankly, I thought these reader story posts are supposed to stand-alone. There should be enough details for readers to get a good picture of the situation, not just vague comments about managing to pay off debt and quit the day job. I didn’t realize I would have to read the poster’s own blog and follow it for a period of time before I could form an opinion.
Kudos to the poster for realizing that the new car was preventing her from accomplishing her goals!
But as a middle-aged divorced mom, I agree with Mary posting above. I am worried and always caution young mothers like the poster to be more careful about so casually destroying their future earning potential.
I myself have an intense, time-consuming professional career and when my kids (twins!) were small it became really hard to work too so I considered bailing on the career and staying home. It’s fortunate that I didn’t, because my husband dumped me a few years later for his grad student, he pays only minimal child support and no alimony, and at least now I have a way to support myself & my kids & my kids’ college aspirations.
I didn’t care about money at all when I was younger, but boy, having a good job makes a huge difference when you’re the primary support of your family.
So, you shoudl always make your decisions looking into the future!
In addition, the work involved in looking after small children lessens considerably when they reach the double digits in age, and of course a few years later they go to college or otherwise grow up and leave.
Mothers: Your life is longer than 10 years–you need to plan for it.
I think Mary and Karen in Minnesota make good points — women have to support themselves and think about their own financial well-being.
Having said that, I decided that a six-figure income was not worth being miserable and pouring all of my life into a job I hated. JD talks a lot about “Stuff,” and I decided that none of my “Stuff” was worth it. I don’t have any debt, so I was working just for the “Stuff.”
I think there are lots of creative ways to make and spend money. If I can make $50k a year by working part-time, enjoy my life and my family, and live much more simply, yea for me! And yea for Jaime!
Ann, your initial comment doesn’t seem out of line (except maybe the division comment). I’m only trying to remind people to keep things civil around here.
@Karen
My husband and I trade off career time. Both of us have spent several a number of years at home. (He was SO much better with teens than me). Neither of us ever made boatloads of money, but we always found a job when we wanted one. Both of us networked the way Jamie is now- by consulting/ substituting.
We both retired- last week.(Well sort of- we both have side gigs that don’t make much money but keep us in touch with our professions). Our children are emotionally strong and in the world.
My daughter quit her job to stay home with her son. We strongly supported her position. She now does consulting from home. Her husband is happy in the 10-7 work world and finds great satisfaction in his job. He supports her being at home with their very active two year old (and the plans to have several others is still in the works).
It all depends on priority - IMHO. I don’t think a person’s bad luck (or whatever it is called) should hamper another from doing what they really want- especially if it to raise the next generation of leaders.
Divorce always looms in the background. We have friends who are divorcing after 30 years. Our key is to make sure everyone still has a toe in the job market and a good savings to make things equal if anything should happen. We both have relied on that at one time or another. Actually, I credit that attitude (and the agreement that we would be in charge of cooking for 15 years at a time- I got the first 15) for keeping us together.
@Kareninminnesota- Excellent advice! I am also divorced with two children. I, too, receive no alimony and very, very little child support. While I did stay home when my kids were babies, thank GOODNESS I went back to work and school so that I can now support them. I didn’t think I would ever get divorced, but it happens. Women cannot stick their heads in the sand.
I agree with Nancy (47). I’m an attorney and just had my baby daughter in January. Before she was born, I thought, “oh of course I’ll go back to work.” After she was born I realized how completely wrong I was and how there is no way I can leave her with a daycare. Maybe it was the hormones or something that made me feel that way, but I still cannot see leaving her. The money I made, regardless of amount, does not seem worth it to me to miss out on being with my baby. Fortunately, my husband has a good job and is very supportive. He is military, so we both have health coverage. We have no debt except my student loan, which is high ($40K, down from $80K, yay me!) but with a low interest rate.
IMO, to the people who commented they can’t understand why Jamie’s husband wouldn’t stop working and stay home with the baby instead of her because she made more money- I know maybe this sounds like a sexist comment, but as the baby’s mom, there is simply no way I could leave her and let my husband take care of her. I know many couples do that, but I think as the mother, the biological, hormonal drive to care for the child is so strong there is no chance I would be able to take a back seat to her care. Before I had my daughter I did not understand this, but now I do. So, kudos to Jamie and her family, it’s great they paid off their debt, and I am sure everything will work out great. Just like in “Your Money or Your Life,” we all have to make choices about what our priorities in life are.
To Mary and the other commenter who feel that women should plan accordingly in case of divorce, if the husband jumps ship yes that’s a difficult situation for the wife to be in. Especially an uneducated wife with few career options. But I am not going to sacrifice being with my baby now, while she’s a baby, just “in case” I get a divorce later. After my child gets old enough, I’ll get another job. If I’m not at the same place on the career ladder at that point, so be it. My relationship with my daughter is that precious to me.
I wonder if part of what’s got people cranky is just that Jaime made a lot of money. I try to be fair, but I definitely found myself thinking, “Well, if I made that much I’d have my debt paid off in a year too!” I make a third of that and have way more student loan debt. Of course, I love what I do and have a side job that I also love that helps out with the finances.
Maybe it would be good to start choosing headlines that are more to the point of the article “How I paid off my debt and found a way to live the life I want on less $” instead of the more sensational headlines “How I paid off $70k in a year!” which are sure to disappoint (it wasn’t really a year, it wasn’t really $70k, it was easier for her because she makes so much, and so on).
Anyway, it’s always nice to read how someone achieved their goals, whatever they were, and pick up a few ideas along the way. I also like the idea of creating deadlines, it really helps with motivation. I did this with paying off $10k in credit card debt in a year on a meager salary living in NYC. I decided it needed to be done before I started grad school and I made it happen.
@Karen in minnesota Thanks for the comment. I really do enjoy hearing your thoughts.
Just to give you some background to my thoughts, I always knew I wanted to work for myself.
I always try to prepare the best for the future and leaving the work force, even making it on my own was part of my decision.
To manage the risk of these, I left my previous employer on great terms. Two different departments told me I could have a job again when ever I wanted. (of course in a down economy that isn’t guaranteed!)
So I also went to Coach University (paid for with cash) to become a business coach. Since I had time I was able to mentor with an amazing coach who sold a million dollar business.
I’m always learning, working to be better at what I do, and to make more money. My goal as an eventual millionaire is to make six figures again on my terms.
I would 100% agree that moms need to look beyond 10 years. (Heck everyone needs to look beyond 10 years!)
This is quite an inspiring story. It just goes to show that persistence and determination can save the day and pay off that $70,000 debt. Readers who are in debt should study how this family did it for it can happen to them too. Being debt-free is a goal worth working hard for.
Great story! Thanks for sharing this. It’s wonderful to hear how you accomplished paying off the debt in such a short time frame (a little over a year!) I’m looking forward to being debt free in 2 years!
Woot for Jaime! I just started reading your blog a few weeks ago and had no idea this is what you had accomplished! That’s amazing!
Keep up the great Reader Stories J.D.! I love them!
@Sarah # 56, the title doesn’t say “I paid $70K off in a year.”
But yeah, I think some of the negative comments are bound to be motivated by envy. A lot of readers here don’t have high incomes, you can tell from the comments. And that means those readers have different challenges than those of us with household incomes over $100K. There are plenty of other articles they can read if they don’t find this one applicable to their situation.
Everybody makes their own decisions based on their own values, and while I doubt the level of commentary here would EVER get as low as on MSN Money (the commenters there are, generally, only marginally more decent and literate than those on Yahoo), there is definitely a tendency for people to get bitchy when they would have done something differently.
Point out errors, if they are clear from the context of an article or if you can substantiate your information. But this business of saying people are wrong has to stop. What’s right or wrong for you isn’t necessarily right or wrong for everybody.
I think it’s a mistake to focus on someone’s income and decide that it was easy for them and none of it applies to you because they make so much more.
Take what you can from someone’s story and figure out how to integrate it into your own life. Maybe you can’t pay off your debt as quickly, but maybe you can trade in your car for something cheaper. Etc.
Great job, Jamie!
@chacha,
We all have the same challenge: make more, spend less. I am one of the skeptics, and we have a higher income and have been debt free for nearly 10 years. If we spend less, we can save faster than some thanks to the making more. But there is lifestyle inflation, especially in cities where the 100k jobs usually are. I know many friends making half as much, out in the country, who are also on the road to wealth.
For those criticizing Mary and others, she is pointing out facts, facts that were posted here awhile ago by the Motley Fool contributor regarding women and poverty. Nobody wants to be a statistic, but sometimes it happens. I hope that my husband and I stay together forever and live healthy, long lives. However, we’ve bought disability and life insurance, just in case. Knowing the likelihood of elder women to be in poverty and planning accordingly is the same thing, to me. What happens when someone cannot care for herself financially in her later years. She could end up a burden to her own daughter at a time when the daughter is trying to build her own nest egg. I have seen this happen.
Awesome story! As ya’ll know, I paid of my mortgage (my very first mortgage) before I turned 34 and it took me 8 years. I thought once we became debt free all our financial worries would be over. I thought my wife could quuit and stay home full time with our kids. Not the case. She now only works 2 days a week, which is good, but it is SO HARD wanting to let go of that extra income. We travel A LOT (mostly for family visits, we dont live near either of our families) and we get great insurance through her employer. Now I have the opportunity to move 4 hours away to the town I grew up in and where my family lives. It is a big city. I have a house my parents own that is 2 bedroom and one bath. fully furnished, in the mountains with lots of land. I could live there for $100 a month and all free utilities… and stay there with my family (albeit, cramped) until i find a good job. Funny, my mom lived in the same house growing up with 7 brothers and sisters and back then no one complained. I have wanted to move there and the opportunity is staring me in the face, but the idea of quitting both our jobs and jumping in to do this HORRIFIES ME… any advice?
^Mary may have been pointing out a fact (or what she believes to be a fact, that 50% divorce figure is hotly debated) but she was doing it as a direct criticism of Jaime’s choice.
None of us is entitled to criticize Jaime’s choice, because none of us was a party to it. That’s all I’m saying.
If people want to submit commentary re: women and divorce and the PF consequences of same, they ought to write it as a reader story or guest post, not as criticism of someone else’s story or guest post.
To use comments as part of a forum for debate is fine, but essentially saying “you made a mistake and you are probably going to pay for it later” is not constructive.
Except… it wasn’t the OPs choice to be a SAHP in the end anyway… she just took a small break and changed careers. People do that even when kids aren’t involved… YMMYL even outlines how to get to the point where you can do that. The argument that she shouldn’t have left the labor force doesn’t really apply because she didn’t.
The article makes it sound much more like the choice was the standard argument for staying at home with children. The blog has more information. She has 2 kids, a 20 hr/week nanny, and her own business. She and her DH brought in 7K last month. She’s not destroying her future earning potential.
But you have to read through the blog to get that. If anything I do agree with the criticisms that the post is very light on details. There’s information ommitted that would be useful to someone thinking of making this kind of change themselves.
@Chacha,
The fact in question is the financial gap between women and men, especially later in life, in part due to women opting out of the workforce and divorce. I don’t think the facts are fair, I think as a nation we should encourage both parents spending more time with family, but it is what it is. Mary’s tone got in the way of what she was saying, IMO.
I think we should be able to criticize a post based on its financial aspects. I think the 1st part about paying off debt is great. I think, after reading Jaime’s responses, there is more to the 2nd part. But to me, the second part originally read: we have 23K in the bank, no debt, & a baby, so I, winner of 2/3 of the income, quit my job. What?! no yay from me on that, that sounds precarious. I wouldn’t care which gender quit or for what reason, that, to me, is not a sound financial decision. Now, there appears to be more planning, etc, to the story that did not get included. Others brought up gender because statistically it is women who do this and who then pay for it later. I think most were trying to warn, not criticize.
I always have this big question. With such earning potential, how did anyone end up with such huge debt of $70k. But again better late than never, so Congrats and All the best
@ Chacha1
I totally agree with both of your points (about making choices, and salary envy).
Some choices ARE wrong (No one wants to read “I picked pockets until I had enough $ to pay off my debt!”). But for the most part choices are the result of a complex and dynamic situation. I understand the hurt and anger that goes along with divorce, but it amazes me how adamant some women are. There is a whole range of choices that can be made from being a SAHM for 40 years to a part time schedule for a handful of years. It’s a trade-off, the job of bringing in money for the job of spending time with your kids. But I can’t imagine making choices for OUR future based on what will happen if he walks out on me. Plenty of people do get divorced, but a lot stay intact and treating my marriage like that seems to invite fulfillment of the breakup prophesy.
As far as the person who makes more staying in a job: How is that anyone’s business? I might make a judgment of that decision if they were putting themselves in financial jeopardy and risking having to go on welfare or going bankrupt. I judge an aunt of mine who refused to get a job because she was the SAHM which meant living off my grandparents (for the record I also have an opinion on them letting her). But Jaime and her husband have their debt paid off and they sound prudent and smart, so who cares? My husband would be miserable at home, and I would rather be the one staying at home. Even if I make more than him, what’s wrong with that if we accept the less expensive lifestyle and live it wisely?
And regarding salary envy, I’ve noticed that a few times around here and I think it’s a product of our times and culture. Sometimes it’s sour grapes, sometimes it’s a closed-minded attitude that thinks there is nothing to learn from someone who isn’t in your EXACT situation. And sometimes it’s just reverse snobbery. but people who make more typically do for a reason. Some people fall into those jobs, but in my experience a person making $70k+ has: talent/education, drive, and/or a high tolerance for discomfort.
The choice to stay at home is one that is granted to a privileged few and it almost always comes at a high cost. That’s all I wanted to point out. I read the rest of the replies with interest, but I’m not sure there is much reason to debate.
Jaime, your story is great! The fact you completely changed your lifestyle, re-evaluated your priorities, and now work fewer hours at a job you love is highly commendable. I think you are truly living the dream.
Most people would not have had the guts to sell a brand new car or their Stuff.
Life is not all about money and I think so many people focus on only the bottom line. They think when they have a certain number in their bank account, that’s when they will be happy or they will quit their job and that’s simply not true.
You do not need a ton of money to live a rich life.
Many people slug away at a job they hate because it’s good pay and end up unhealthy and miserable. (Office Space anyone?!)
Congrats on being debt free and living the life you love!
@Car Thank you so much.
Thanks for the post. Interesting. It has me thinking again about the possibility of leaving my job to SAH or work part time when my kids are in middle school/high school. If I can pay down the mortgage and put aside a good chunk towards college, maybe…
Good luck.