I encourage people to find out what truly makes them happy and to pursue that path. Reassess that path fairly regularly. You may find that what was important to you at 35 may not be at the top of your list at 55. My advice to my teenage son is to do what you’re passionate about and you’ll enjoy life. If having a big house is your passion go for it and have fun! How blessed we are to have such choices . . . .

Today, I live in just as big of a house but one that I bought at auction for a pittance. The house is a classic 1970s design, 34 years old and I LOVE it. So does everyone else who walks in the front door. It won’t be difficult to sell.

My biggest regret is that I sacrificed 6 years of my kids’ youth for an albatross of a house that I grew to absolutely HATE. Owning that house changed nothing for me. It didn’t make me a better person (far from it) and it didn’t make me ‘better’ than anyone else even though it was a huge status symbol that was the envy of everyone who saw it. It was a money pit and a very expensive lesson in more ways than just one. It ain’t all red roses, green grass, and lace curtains!

As it turns out my son, now 14, has decided to move with his dad to start his first year of high school. His dad lives one block from school. I’ve known this day would come for years now but it doesn’t make it any easier. He’s learning how to let go of the past and move forward into life. Saying goodbye has always been tuff for him but he did it with grace when he said goodbye to the only home he’d ever known. He’s been tolerant of our move but it’s not his dream ~ he’s discovering what his dream is.

The most important thing I’ve learned from this move is that my values are firmly in place; Health, Family, Love and Connection. Security and certainty is still in there it’s just further down the list these days. And frankly that’s OK with me. I get to choose what’s important and I’ve made my choice.

We’re looking to buy another house. We’re considering a ‘tiny house’. Well, it’s a fun idea but neither of us is really there yet, but we’re getting much closer. What I know is we don’t need 3,000 square feet and 5 1/2 acres to be happy. In fact, I am so freed up not having to maintain all of that it’s opened my eyes to the what I really want next.

Enjoy what you have and if you don’t, make a change, it won’t kill you, really, it won’t.

1) Paid off (obviously, otherwise it isn’t really mine, is it?)
2) Can be fully cleaned in under 30 minutes.
3) Has most/all things within easy reach; nothing ever gets lost.
4) Can be repaired by the owner (me) without calling in an expert, plumbing, electrics, roof, walls, …
5) Has no utility costs.
6) Will not get flooded, snowed in, etc.
7) Will be really hard to break into.
Will not pretend to be anything that it isn’t (no fake bricks, etc.)

Frugality is scalable.

For a family with an annual cash flow of $50,000, frugality might be clipping coupons and buying a used car.

For a single person with a $2M annual cash flow, frugality could well be maintaining a stable with ten four-legged money pits (sometimes called “horses”) instead of 20.

We talk about frugality as if it is an end, but frugality can be a code word for security. Each of us lives with a different level of cushion around our lives – that cushion could be low expectations and needs or it could be strong family connections or a sense of independence and self-sufficiency.

We make our decisions within context, and our conversations about frugality are so much the richer for it!

This just made my day.

I have been working on a crossword on and off all week, and one of the clues that’s been killing me is a 5-letter synonym for ‘quench’ with a ‘k’ as the 4th letter. Thank you!

Oh, and it’s also great advice

When I wrote it I was in “frontier” mode, thinking of women running a house without a community around to distribute labor. But later I thought of situations like your example as well as how city folks would buy bread from a bakery and veggies from the market rather than do it themselves, but the point still holds.

Thanks for the backup material, it sounds really interesting. I am completely ignorant of the historical time and place you brought up.

“There are so many things in this room and all so splendid that there is no scope for imagination. That is one consolation when you are poor—there are so many more things you can imagine about.”

Recently I was thinking about what kind of house I’d live in if I won the lottery…and I realized that I probably have more fun dreaming about it than I would living in it!

My husband and I are on the downsizing mode–we went from a 4 bedroom single family home 3 years ago to a 3 bedroom condo. But we stayed in the same price range buying into a nicer neighborhood.

P.S. Your house looks beautiful and quite stately.