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This post is from staff writer Sierra Black. Sierra writes about frugality, sustainable living, and getting her kids to eat kale at Childwild.com.
Hola! My family is spending the month of July vacationing in Argentina. My husband grew up here, and his entire family still lives here: his parents, his brother and sisters, and my kids’ eight cousins, plus all his uncles and aunts and cousins. We’re having a long visit with the whole family. We timed our trip to be here for two special events: His parents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this month, and it’s his father’s 80th birthday.
As family vacations go, this one is pretty epic. I’m delighted to be here, grateful that I had the resources to come, and well aware that it wasn’t the most sound financial decision I’ve ever made. I took a detour on the road to wealth in favor of enjoying a rich life in the here and now.
Astute readers will note that I posted last week about having just made my final credit card payment. This means that, yes, I bought over $5,000 worth of plane tickets two months ago while I was still in credit card debt.
I could have used the cash to pay off my credit cards, and I plunked it down on plane tickets instead.
What was I thinking?
I was thinking that some things are worth more than money. Giving my kids a chance to know their grandparents is one of those things. Showing up with my husband for his parents’ 50th wedding anniversary is another. These people, and our relationships with them, are an essential part of the rich life my husband and I share.
My husband’s father is 80 years old; his mother isn’t much younger. I may be able to put off a visit until we’re fully out of debt, have a secure emergency fund and are solidly on the road to wealth. But I may not. How long will that take? Two years? Five? Will my in-laws still be healthy then, able to play with the girls and host us as visitors? Their time is a precious resource I can’t get more of later.
It’s a gamble — one I decided not to take. Spending the money on plane tickets pushed back our deadline for paying off our debts by about three months. Having this time with our family now seemed worth an extra three months of debt payments.
Having decided to visit Argentina this summer, I set about making our trip cost as little as possible. Some things I did to keep costs down included:
- Shopping around for plane fares. Plane fares can fluctuate wildly. There’s no way to guarantee the best fare, but taking time to track the fares helped us get a sense of what the range is, and we bought when the ticket prices came near the low end of it.
- Making it a “working vacation”. It was important to me that my family spend the month here, attending these special family events and getting to know this side of the family. It wasn’t as crucial that I get an extended holiday from my job. Since my work as a freelance writer is portable, I brought it with me.
- Borrowing what I needed. For this trip, I needed five suitcases. We only have two, but I was easily able to borrow the others from friends who aren’t traveling this month. Ditto the equipment I needed to get my laptop up and running here, recreational reading for the trip and winter clothes for my kids.
- Staying with family. We’ve gratefully accepted my in-laws offer to stay with them. On the one hand, this means splitting up my family of five: My husband and I are staying with our young kids at his parents’ place, while my teenage stepson stays across town with his cousins. On the other hand, staying with family means our travel costs are limited to plane fares, food and incidentals during our stay. Considering the high cost of hotel stays, this is a huge savings.
A few bigger steps that could save you even more money:
- Sub-letting your house. This would have covered a lot of the cost of the trip, but I just could not muster the time and organizational resources to clean and prep the house for someone else to occupy it. If you can, you really should. As it stands, our home is just sitting empty for a month. That’s wasted space and wasted potential income.
- Renting out your car. Just like a house, a car sitting idle does no one any good. In major cities, websites like carsharing.net help you connect with other people who’ll put your car to good use when you’re not using it.
- Milking your credit card for miles. I don’t use credit cards because historically I can’t be trusted with them. I’ve made my last payment, and I’ll be happy if I never hold a credit card in my hand again. But if you are the sort who can responsibly use a credit card, using one that accrues airline miles can be a great way to pay for your travel.
I expect to get a stern talking to in the comments from the really frugal GRS readers. Of course, making a decision like this is a slippery slope. Once I’d decided to drop the money on plane tickets, it was incredibly tempting to spend more money on other things. If I can back off my debt snowball for this thing, why not for a weekend trip to California to visit friends? Or to buy a new laptop for my husband? Or to “invest” some money in fixing up our front porch?
Those are all great things, and I look forward to the day I can comfortably spend money on leisure travel, new electronics and a fresh coat of paint for my porch steps. But that day isn’t today.
Today is the day to enjoy every minute I’m blessed to share with my family, because we won’t be able to make a trip like this again anytime soon. I’m really looking forward to the different perspectives in the comments. Even more than usual, I’m not sure I’m on the right track here. Taking this trip feels right for my family, but it’s a large detour from Dave Ramsey’s “laser-like focus” on debt elimination.
What would you have done? Have you had to make similar decisions?
This article is about Choices, Debt, Real-Life, Relationships Friday, 9th July 2010 (by Sierra Black)
I would have done exactly what you did. You could blame that on the fact that I’m also a recovering credit card junkie, but after a simple wisdom tooth extraction landed me in emergency surgery and the ICU last year, I feel absolutely comfortable in my way of thinking.
There are no pockets in shrouds.
I don’t think I’m ever going to achieve the goal of this blog - to get rich slowly - but I use the fantastic information here to not be foolish with money, and to maximise my happy points per £ spent.
Sierra, one of the reasons I like reading your posts is because I find them easy to relate to. Here again, I’m with you. I have the (dubious) luxury of not having to travel too far to see my in-laws, but I think you’ve made the right decision. 80th birthdays and 50th anniversaries simply don’t come again.
My husband’s grandfather passed away last year, and I am so grateful for every moment my children got to spend with him. I think spending three more months in debt is worth it.
You can have gazelle-like intensity when you get back, but for now, enjoy yourself and your family. This time is priceless.
Your last paragraph hit it right on. The whole point is to live Today to the fullest because that’s all we have. This experience with your family is a once in a lifetime event at a budget cost of three months. That’s a huge winner! You shopped around, saved where you could, and if you resist temptation to creep back into old habits later then you’ve got the whole point of wealth building; to have the freedom to do what’s important to you ! Congratulations.
Congratulations! Hands down you have made a great choice. Your children will always remember the time they visited relatives abroad getting to know their extended family.
The future is never able to be predicted but the love and concern you show for family will serve you well regardless.
Good for you. You can’t forget to live once in a while.
Good for you! I for one understand the trade offs between the peace of mind that comes from having your bills paid vs. spending quality time with friends and family when needed. As a diplomat serving overseas the opportunities to be with family on such special occasions like anniversaries and milestone birthdays (my dad is 84) are few and far between. We have had to make choices like this and I applaud your making the trade off to give your kids memories for a lifetime.
For what it is worth…I think you made the right decision. You made it consciously,taking into consideration the various things that decision was going to affect. And although it could have been the first step down a very slippery slope you were aware of that and have so far been able to keep that from happening. I say enjoy your month in Argentina!
It’s hard to answer without knowing your financial situation.
It sounds like you will be progressing towards your financial goal even with the trip so I don’t see anything wrong with it.
My parents decided to take us on a one-month road trip across North America when I was 15. Two adults and 3 kids, one van and countless hotels. I know it cost them a boat-load of money and we could certainly have made wiser decisions about spending money along the way… BUT, it was the best family vacation ever. We got to visit my uncle and his family who live thousands of miles from us, and my great aunt and uncle who live even further away. It was the experience of a lifetime, as your trip will be for your children. I ABSOLUTELY think you have made the right decision. A conscious decision to buy the tickets and then do everything else as cheaply as possible. Sure sounds like you’re still on the right track
Now go, enjoy your vacation!
Because of my job (jobs in academia are hard to get) I live 900 miles away from my sister, my only remaining family. Both parents and sets of grandparents are gone, and my only cousins live even further away. What I’m saying is that I think you made the right decision. See your family while you can, because they will NOT always be there. Yes, you deviated, but your reasoning, IMHO, was sound. It sounds like a wonderful trip!
I’m really surprised you raised so many doubts about the decision. Special family events and even relationships to some extent are one-shot deals; you can’t delay them until all your personal affairs are in order. It’s also really, really important for kids to get some international experience.
I agree with your choice. We don’t have credit card debt, but we are saving up like mad for a down payment on our next house. We’re still taking a cruise this fall (with a stop at Disney on the way to Miami) in celebration of my hubby’s 30th birthday and to have one spectacular vacation before we have kids in a few years. It’s costing us the equivalent of three months worth of house savings, but it’s going to be totally worth it!
I totally agree with your decision. Life is meant to be lived. You already have the frugal tools, that is what is important. So it will take a little longer to get out of debt, oh well. Your family will have wonderful memories to draw from the rest of their lives.
I would have done the same thing for sure!
As a side note, when I bought some plane tickets a couple years ago and the prices dropped a week later, I called the airline and got refunded the difference. Don’t know if every airline does this, but Northwest did (who is now Delta).
No stern talking-to here. You have prioritized the wants and wishes in your life, and your family has come out on top. Good for you! Hopefully this vacation will be filled with great memories that will be fondly looked back upon by you and your kids. Priceless…
Getting much less criticism than you imagined, eh Sierra?
I think there are certain moments in life which must come before money. As being an individual on my path towards being debt-free, I always bare in mind that while I’m doing a great job, my tomorrow is certainly never guaranteed.
Similar to the concept of people who have financial setbacks that suddenly occur that take away from their debt repaytment plan, being flexible while paying down that debt is highly important to keep the motivation going.
The only thing I could have suggested you did a little differently was to have created an “Anniversary/ Vacation Account” to have saved up the money gradually over-time so that it had an even lesser affect your other financial plans/ obligations.
Other than that, enjoy your vacation and indulge lightly in this short but wonderful experience we call “life.”
I’ve mentioned a number of times that I purposely chose a slower method of debt repayment so that I would have some freedom/resources to still partake in important events or family milestones. As Sierra mentions, probably the hardest task is in learning how to recognize the limitations of my available funds, and spend within the confines of what I am able to afford, rather than simply spending on every single thing that seems important. Which makes sense–if I naturally possessed that skill, I never would have fallen into debt in the first place!
I’ve been doing this “conscious indulgences” as part of my budgeting for about 4 years now, and I’ve found that the desires that crop up seem to fall into one of a few categories. The first is “once in a lifetime” type events, such as my parent’s 50th anniversary. There’s usually plenty of notice regarding events of this type, and it’s not too much trouble to figure out how to put aside the funds needed. My biggest jump in terms of how I handle these events is that I’ve learned how to take into consideration ALL of the associated costs–I make sure that I work out all of the little expenses, such as cab rides, tips, etc, so that my planned budget will fully cover these trips.
The second type of thing that tends to crop up is the “Wouldn’t it be nice” type purchases, which in my case tend to center around fixing up my house. These desires really have no limit, so my husband and I keep a list of what’s most important to us, and make decisions based on that. We don’t move forward with these purchases unless we have the cash on hand.
The final type of purchase that springs up is the “OMG, I will never have a chance to (do this/buy this at this price/go here) again!!!” type moments. This category probably requires the most discipline, bc it’s easy to try and convince yourself that your life will be miserable if you don’t indulge yourself in this way. I’d say that my biggest maturation has been learning to accept that I can’t do everything I’d like to do, so when I’m faced with one of these moments, I have to be honest. Do I have the money put aside to do this? If the answer is yes, then I am free to do it. If the answer is no, then I must sadly decline. There’s no real trick to this one–it just involves being brutally honest with yourself and being disciplined enough to say “No” when you have to.
When we lived 2000 miles from all family, we had to make similar choices. Wow — if I were to add up how much money we spent flying CA-WI-CA for 15 years . . . But I never have, because those trips were typically non-negotiable.
I can remember a few family members being surprised when I’d show up for a wedding, birthday, or anniversary, because they couldn’t picture themselves traveling for something like that. Honestly, I wanted to see people while they were still alive and we could enjoy each others’ company.
One of the compromises DH and I made was that often only one of us (+ kids) would go, depending on the relationships with the people involved. He’d go for an anniversary, and the next month, I’d go for a birthday. When we had babies, the babies would go, too, since that’s who everyone really wanted to see!
We also deviated from our normal frugal ways for a great family trip in August 2008. We spent a month travelling around Italy, Greece and Germany with our kids who were 7 and 13 at the time. They still talk about it and regardless of the cost I’ll always consider it money well spent. In our case it wasn’t to visit family, but to take a great trip while the kids were old enough to remember it and not yet too busy with summer jobs to go.
We only have our mortgage left to pay off so every extra dollar normally goes to extra mortgage payments or adding to our retirement accounts. Yes, taking the trip delayed our early retirement by a few months but it’s a trade-off that makes perfect sense to us.
Sounds like you made the right decision, we are in a similar situation with much of my wifes family in Mexico and we live in Sweden. Next year we will spend 6 months (combining saved vacation, parental leave etc) in Mexico with our to young kids for them to get to know the family over there and for me to learn more Spanish, this will delay or road to being totally debt free (including morgage) by one year. However we don´t know when we will get this chance again so it was an easy decision.
You’re not giving up debt repayment for this - just making it take longer. You made that decision based on a rational assessment of the pros and cons, and you got good value for the money you did spend.
I am sure your husband’s family will appreciate this sacrifice, and the memories and lessons your children will gain will be priceless, and will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
This is a great example of how being responsible with money can help you do what you want to do in life. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a vacation and enjoying yourself — one of the things I read a lot on this site is to buy experiences, not things.
I think this writer followed that advise well. She didn’t spend irresponsibly — she explains how she did her best to minimize the expenses, spending time to save money. And it’s precisely because she does this things all the time in her daily life that she has the freedom to decide to take a vacation rather than paying down all her debt.
Financial responsibility is largely about gaining your freedom, and it sounds like this person put that freedom to good use. Kudos!
Sometimes, you just have to do what seems like the best decision for yourself and your family. It doesn’t sound like you are someone who will let the credit card debt just languish — it will get paid off. That is what I am telling myself right now. We had our credit cards paid off, which was great. But this past week, we used a credit card to help pay for my husband’s hearing aids. We had set aside money in my husband’s cafeteria plan for this expense, but, we thought he would just need one hearing aid. He needs two, because the hearing loss in both ears was more severe than we realized. We know we might not save up the money for the second hearing aid before the deadline to use up the money in the cafeteria plan comes up. I got really upset about having to use the credit card. But, I see how happy my husband is now that he can hear better! So, we now have $2500 to pay off on a credit card. But, we’ve done it before, so, we will do it again. We will try to pay it off in six months.
Wow I have a scheduled post pertaining to this on Monday.
Personal Finance is PERSONAL Some things just make sense when you take out the tactical aspects
I totally understand and agree with your decision. You clearly thought about the decision; it was not just a random, impulsive thing (I would hope no one would make an impulsive purchase for $5,000!).
Sierra,
I completely agree with your decisions. The purpose of a debt snowball is to stop being a slave to our debt. If you purposefully avoided such a huge occasion for your family and a great experience for your children, that’s also being a slave to your debt. I think we know in our hearts what are “once in a lifetime” occasions that we have to fit in to the budget despite a debt snowball. You did it sensibily and you’re showing your children that money and life go hand-in-hand.
Elaine
I just did this recently. I arranged a beach trip with my Dad and brother end of June. I don’t have debt but this put off fully funding my emergency fund by a month or two.
My father is 78 and earlier that month had surgery for cancer. He is actually doing great, but we scheduled the trip ahead of time not knowing the outcome. And heck we could all get hit by a bus tomorrow. Talking with my Dad on the balcony, watching a pelican float over our heads. Watching my kids interact and play with my little brother. My husband, Dad, and brother hanging out late sharing stories and a few too many drinks. There are some people I almost viscerally miss from my day to day life so it is never enough but it was good to see them.
Considering that you weighed SO many things and took steps to reduce the cost, I don’t see how this is not financially sound. Because you paid a little extra interest? It just gets factored into the cost of the trip. And this isn’t a frivolous trip at all. Like other commentators mentioned, this shows the benefits of being financially sound and responsible. What would have been financially irresponsible was not having saved for the tickets and paying for them with credit.
And by the way, regarding the statement “I was thinking that some things are worth more than money.” I’d like to say, MOST things are worth more than money.
You definitely did the right thing Sierra.
The posts on this site, even JD admits to it, have become so much about minimalism and doing without to the point that it’s almost nauseating.
There’s frugality and then there’s stupid.
Like others have posted, major family milestones and personal events only come along once and if a person can’t put aside their financial self-flagellation for a while then you might as well not be alive.
Good for you! Not everything in life should be measured in dollars - particularly time you spend with your loved ones.
Kind of agree with Lefty33. This comes under the category of “when you’re lying on your death bed are you going to remember that it took you 3 months longer to pay off your freakin’ credit card debt or the wonderful month you spent in Argentina with your family?” Come on now. After years of mindless purchasing, I’ve paid off my credit cards and now “get” that if I really need something and that could be stuff or a trip or a wedding, or gifts for momentous occasions for people, I just budget out the payments and do it. If I incur a couple of months of interest, so be it. But the difference is I’m mindful of what I’m doing and have a plan for paying back the debt as quickly as possible. Life is to be lived, not judged by your credit score.
I think this exactly underscores the importance of getting rid of the debt and having a strong cash cushion, so you can make these kinds of trips in the future without any guilt at all. It’s great that you paid off the cc debt right afterward and didn’t let this bump stop you.
I think in this case I would have made the same decision. (Well, actually that’s not true… in this case I would have done what we always do when we’re short on money, plane tickets are over-expensive, and DH needs to see his family– we send DH and DS or just DH and I stay home, saving a third of the plane fare. But we see his family more often.) But you’re right, it is a slippery slope. I see other folks justifying a “once in a lifetime trip” to Europe while in debt or even just the latest video game. A 50th anniversary/80th birthday only happens once, but Europe will always be there. The porch will always need investing.
Think just as hard about every expenditure as you did this one until you have enough money that you don’t have to think so hard about it anymore. That’s truly the benefit of financial independence.
Even though we are paying down debt and living lean on one income, we keep a line item in our budget for “family trips”. It’s very important for children to know their grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles — and something you can’t buy at any price. Luckily everyone is within driving distance, so it’s a pretty modest amount, but it’s something that we keep because we know that we will most definitely end up taking 4-5 trips a year for family events.
Since you are staying with family you are most definitely doing the frugal thing, as well as getting the most quality time you possibly can. Nobody’s getting any younger and I’m sure that this trip will be totally “worth it”.
Money isn’t the end…joy and happiness is and you have acquired priceless memories by doing what you did. I’m so glad that you didn’t let $$$ hold back love. You did all you could to save on costs and I applaud your decision.
IMNSHO, you did EXACTLY the right thing. And in the right way (spending carefully). What an opportunity for everyone…
I would have done the same thing….
I completely agree.
A staycation for those of us with families a few thousand miles away is not an option. I’m all about paying down debt and getting my financial life in order, but it is more about the balance in our lives.
We live in CA. My family is from MO and DH’s is in MA. No cheap way of doing this every summer, but need the quality family time. No one is getting any younger.
I LOVE ARGENTINA! As a matter of fact, my gf and I just started painting our bedroom in the spirit of La Boca! We have our tango paintings, hand carved masks from our trip and Argentina flag all ready to go as soon as the 5 different colors of paint are dry! Have a wonderful time! I spent a couple of weeks there about a year ago and had the time of my life!
I went on a trip to Vietnam with my father (who is a Vietnam vet) before I was completely finished repaying all of my debt. It was his first time returning to Vietam since he was there in 1967. I figured it was a once in a lifetime experience, and more than just a vacation. I’m really glad I went even though it wasn’t the most financially sound decision, and I’d probably have regretted it years later if I hadn’t gone.
I agree with what you did! Family vacations are priceless.
This post is very timely for me, since I am considering doing this same thing soon. Our final credit card payment is coming up (yay!), and I plan to pay for two vacations just before everything is paid off. It might keep us in debt (at 0%, at least) for a couple more months, but it seems worth it. We’ll be taking our first family vacation ever and celebrating our 10th anniversary. I think it will be worth it.
I hope 20 years from now you don’t have to worry so much about whether to allow yourself to attend your children’s weddings. Like others have implied, it sounds like you’re getting a bit carried away on the minimalism front sometimes. Life isn’t always better when we opt out of everything, especially when that’s family and a richness of life experience. Your parents’ 50th wedding anniversary is hardly a new iPhone, to be viewed as unnecessary consumerism and done without.
Besides, what is money anyway? When you obsess about hoarding it and never spend it all it becomes is little numbers on a computer screen, slowly rising a little bit every month. That is probably not what you want your life to be about — sitting at home, eating ramen in an empty apartment watching your bank balances rise so you can brag to others about your ’security’ on the internet. I’m not saying you’re at this point, Sierra, but look at some of the other personal finance bloggers out there who post about how little they buy and simultaneously keep a running ‘net worth’ tally on their websites. Too many people with an interest in this topic have taken it a bit far, to the point where they could stand a visit from a Christmas ghost or three.
Personally, I have a “vacation” savings account. I put $5,000 in it every year, and spend it before the year is done. I also have a “house down payment” account, where I’m trying to save $100,000. Sure, I could reach that goal sooner if I didn’t keep putting $5,000 towards vacations every year, but I’m not going to do without all those experiences so that I can live in a house. I already live in a house, I pretty much know what it’s like even if I don’t own it. Greece though? I’ve never been there, there’s something new to see and learn, how could I skip that?
Nice job, Sierra!
“All Your Worth”, one of the money books that JD recommends here, allocates 20% of income to “wants” even while paying down debts and building up savings. You can’t always just use Ramsey’s laser-like focus on debt elimination. Most of the time, maybe so, but all of the time, not for me anyway!
As someone with one side of the family living in another country, I’m completely on the side of taking the time (and expense) now to visit when there are celebrations and you can take that many weeks in a row. Growing up we went every other summer to England for 4-6 weeks and traveled amongst grandparents, extended family and friends. I wouldn’t trade those for anything, and I have a lot of fond memories. It is important for your kids and for their grandparents
And it meant a LOT to me and my mother when three cousins came over this spring for my wedding.
“The purpose of a debt snowball is to stop being a slave to our debt. If you purposefully avoided such a huge occasion for your family and a great experience for your children, that’s also being a slave to your debt.”
Elaine, this is an AWESOME and insightful comment! I think this is exactly what the idea of ‘getting rich slowly’ is about.
Sierra, Thank you for this post! I agree with your decision. It sounds like even though you were in debt when planning this trip you still made smart choices. I hear a lot on this blog regarding avoiding stuff and don’t really relate to the need for stuff. I got into debt partly because I was the brides maid in 10 weddings. If I had known then what I know now, I would have made some better choices but I don’t regret saying yes to each of my friends that asked. My life is rich because of the friends and family in my life and it seems like yours is too!
Your stepson staying with his cousin — what a great experience that will be for him.
And, in so many ways this is not just a vacation; lots of people have stressed the important relationship connections (good for mental and physical health) and you could also note that spending significant time in a different culture is a part of your children’s (and your!) continuing education, which is also an investment for a better life!
I think there’s a difference between Sierra’s point in finances and Tyler K’s point in finances though. Tyler K isn’t going into debt to finance anything. Once Sierra is at that point then she shouldn’t have to worry either. She’s not at the wealth building stage, but at the debt repayment stage. Worries are different. She was exactly right to think this decision through very carefully.
Also, if you run the numbers, especially right now, the negative drag to debt is huge but the earnings on savings is pretty small. The amount you lose from credit card debt eats away at your bottom line a lot faster than the amount you save grows it.
In 20 years, presumably Sierra will have the savings so that going to her childrens’ weddings will be less than a drop in the bucket. (Assuming they don’t have overpriced destination weddings like DH’s sister, but I digress.)
To paraphrase Mae West, I’ve been poor and I’ve been well-off and I much prefer being well-off. Unfortunately, for most of us, that takes some sacrifice to get to. Much nicer after the sacrifice has been made.
I think you made the right decision-no doubt about it. I lost my Dad 7 years ago, and on his death bed he did not say things like “I wish I had a bigger emergency fund.” Although those goals ARE very important (we are working the Dave Ramsey plan right now)–one thing that he said is that he wished he had taken the time to take more vacations with us. Creating memories with family is so important.
I also did the same thing you did. My brother & his wife adopted a daughter from India and took the trip with them while still paying off debt. This pushed back my debt-free date by about 3 months also. But, I decided that this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I didn’t want to miss.
One has to weigh the pros/cons of what they want out of life. Do I want to be debt-free and financially indepedent or do I want to spend family time that is a once-in-a-lifetime thing? There is a balance, but like you said, you have to make sure you don’t allow yourself to slip down the slippery slope of justifying all spending.
Enjoy your trip to the fullest!!!
I agree 100% with your decision. I made a similar choice earlier this year when he visited our military son stationed in Italy. He just got back from a deployment to Iraq and of course, wanted to spend his leave time with his new wife. (She’s also military and couldn’t get leave to come home with him.) We hadn’t seen him in two years and were so happy he made it safely out of Iraq that we decided to spend the money and go. We stayed at their apartment and bugeted a certain amount to spend over there. We actually came home with a little left over! I don’t for a minute regret it. It set us back on our goals a few months, but in the big picture that’s very small.It was the trip of a lifetime and time well spent with our son and getting to know his lovely (now pregnant!) wife. In my opinion, you made the right choice and I hope you enjoy your time there. Just for the record, we have only our mortgage and a car payment left and got back to gazelle intensity as soon as we returned. We both work a second job and put all the income from that toward extra payments.
I would have done exactly as Sierra did. My only advice is: take some tango lessons while you’re there!
Priceless decision, you are investing in relationships and experiences for your children and you. No amount of money can match this.
In a way I can relate to this. Sometime 2 years back my wife and I made a decision to visit my grandmother 8500 miles away who was 86 at the time even as we were trying to pay off our cc debt. She passed away after 5 months but now we have no regrets that we did not visit and spend time with her.
This is a great example for the children as they learn the importance of family and relationships, to know their roots and lineage.
My student loans would have been paid off two months ago if I wasn’t saving up for an expensive month long trip to visit my husband’s family in India, as well as two shorter trips to my family here in the states. My husband and I find getting to see our family, especially since we have a little one, to be worth the delay in paying off my loans. One down, two to go! (loans, that is)
Sierra, great post. Congrats on knowing what truly matters in your life. My wife and I plan to take a trip to Italy sooner rather than later, with our kids,
and we don’t want to wait until “the timing is right”, or we have enough to cover all expenses. Life is too short and unpredictable. Again, excellent writing with this post!
I’m married for the second time, and my husband and I, who are in our mid 50’s, have had more than our share of financial setbacks over the 10 years we’ve been married. Through it all we’ve scrimped, saved, invested money for retirement, and denied ourselves many of the luxuries our contemporaries enjoyed (big homes, new cars, iphones, etc). We’ve also purchased new furniture, maintained our Saturday night dinner out (with coupons), and gone to the Caribbean once a year. At our age, I don’t know how many years we’ll have together and I absolutely refuse to “wait” until we’re completely out of debt to enjoy our lives. I believe that balance and moderation works in every aspect of life, and, as mentioned in previous columns, staying true to what you value most. Can’t wait to go to Argentina!
Great decision. It sounds to me like this is a nice early reward for paying off your debt. What is three more months in the scheme of things? My ex boyfriend is Chilean and we would often visit Argentina, where we both have friends living. It has to be one of my favorite places on Earth.
I think sometimes we all forget that money has a certain value but that we have to keep it in perspective. I would not neglect family, friends, and the blessings of life simply because of a money issue. I’d rather die poor and in debt. Life is for the living and sometimes, money is to be spent. Enjoy the trip and the time spent with family. You can alway recoup lost money.
Everybody makes a decision on what’s important to them and worth spending money on. You clearly have made yours and that’s great. The only thing I object to is spending money on these things while you still have credit card debt out. Seems like you could pay off the debt and then pay for the tickets in relatively the same amount of time and while saving a bit of money. Still, to each his own and a family trip like this is something you’ll remember for the rest of your life so probably well worth it
I’ve never had credit card debt and would never suggest to anyone that it is in any way a good thing, but you made the right choice. Family and friends are priceless and there are truly some things that can’t be made up later. By all means, jump right back to strict budgets, but don’t feel guilty. A new laptop of visiting a friend just because you want to aren’t in the same category as 50th wedding anniversaries and 80th birthdays.
My ex is from Argentina and while we were married we went there at least once a year with the kids et al. It’s a beautiful country and we (mostly) had a great time.
But no question–these were expensive trips. We spent at least $12,000 each time we went. & we (well, me anyway) spent the entire next year paying it off.
As you know, the plane tix are only part of what you will spend. Coming from America you’ll be expected to pony up for tons of gifts and outings for the large extended family. We also ended up helping relatives who were behind on their mortgages and “only needed a little” and people who needed school fees for their kids etc.
I don’t regret it–you need to see family. But I think we perhaps could have visited less often–every other year or whatever.
I’m really happy now that I don’t have that built in major expense.
I do think it’s OK to say “no” we can’t afford it right now.
After all, they’re not coming to visit you due to economic considerations, are they?
Been there, done that. As Ramsey says, the moment you commit to paying off your debt “you will be tested”. We were tested with 2 cross-country weddings - for brothers, no less. Spending $2,000 on airfare, twice, was not part of our debt-payoff plan. But, it was worth it. We just had to make compensating cuts in other areas. Having to make those other cuts wasn’t fun, but we survived and even with those trips, we paid off our debt within 2 years, right on target. Isn’t that kind of the point of all GRS stuff: to manage your money in a way to at least do the special “wants” and yet still not be completely derailed when life throws a curve ball?!?!
money is a tool. As someone who spent a portion of her child’s college education fund as well as diverting 401K money to travel all over europe with children in the seven years we were stationed there, I agree with you one hundred percet. LIfe has to be lived now as well.
Are you sure you should be writing for a financial site? If you are going to find excuses to get right back into debt you will always be in debt. My Grandmother used to always say “If you have money you can travel”. Meaning that if you have money you can do many things, but in your case it would be a literal meaning.
I am not trying to be mean. Hey, I am over weight, but you don’t see me telling people how to lose weight.
I honestly don’t see anything wrong with this. You felt that seeing your family was more important than meeting a deadline that you set up a while back.
Like you said, the memories that you and your family have from this visit is worth much more than being out of debt 3 months earlier.
The point of your financial journey is to be able to use your money as a tool. However, this doesn’t mean that you have to wait until the end to enjoy your life!
Have a great time!
Sierra, you paid for the trip with cash. You’ve already won
Excellent prioritizing!
I totally understand because I did something similar recently. My boyfriend is from France. He goes to see his family every summer and for Christmas. We are together for almost 3 years now and this summer I decided to go with him even if I did not have a lot of money. It was very important for me to finally meet his family.
I did a lot of extra hours to pay my plane ticket but it was worth it!
It also makes me realize that plane tickets are something that we will need to buy a lot in our life together! And at some point we will have to take our future children with us… So we need to save a lot of money!
No matter how much we are striving to pay off our debt I will not cut our travel budget as long as we aren’t adding debt to have it. We live across the country from my whole family and my grandmothers are 80 and 91, $500 to pay cash plane tickets instead of $500 more towards debt payoff is well worth it to not say “I wish I had seen them more” after they have passed.
Enjoy Argentina!!
I guess the premise behind this post is good, but the situation described makes it seem a little forced. I’d probably spend the $5k even if I was deep in credit card debt - seems like a no-brainer for a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I would have done the same thing. Mom and dad celebrate their golden anniversary only once. There is no way that a child should stay away from such an important family celebration. If all else fails, I am sure the rest of the family would chip in to have the entire family together.
Besides, I love Argentina and I would take any opportunity to go there. Enjoy some great food in good company and one or two Malbecs!
With my busy schedule at work and quite a few social engagements this weekend, I’m going to have to skip the 67 comments for now, but I did want to chime in.
I’m in a position where I can be mortgage free in several years. My current automated payments will have it paid off in 8 years. Sometimes, I’m almost tempted to cut back on my allowance, automated savings for travel, investing and my next car, just so I can see that mortgage payment go away sooner.
But… wow would I really give up the first half of my 30s to doing nothing but working and paying off debts? I just can’t see it. I love life and I love living. And I jump on opportunities when I see good ones. Some things in life shouldn’t be missed. You have to balance your values!
Looks like my previous comment is currently being filtered… J.D. - you’re probably already on the case, right?
You said it all when you wrote, “Their time is a precious resource I can’t get more of later.”
I can’t be trusted with credit cards either, plus I just don’t like them. Haven’t used them in years and don’t miss them one bit.
Have fun!
Anyone that thinks you deserve a lashing for pushing your goals back in order to see family members that very well could be for the last time (no matter HOW old they are) deserve to be lashed themselves. This is something that no dollar amount will ever be enough to replace. What you did deserves praise instead. You told your family that they were more important than the ‘old mighty dollar’. You should be commended.
I hope you have the best time of your life while visiting and make memories that will last a lifetime for everyone involved.
And as for the family being split up. I have to tell you that the ‘teenaged son’ is probably loving every single minute of his little adventure with his cousins outside the ‘prying’ eyes of mom and dad. Sorry, I was a teenager once too…
Enjoy yourselves!
You did what was right in your situation. In the grand scheme of things, you only delayed paying off your credit card by 3 months. That is nothing when you look at what you were able to gain.
My DH and I have always had to balance trying to pay off as much debt as possible with the needs of our family. Given that both of our children have multiple special needs and my DH’s heart condition, we’ve made decisions that were along the same line: spend $x now for y because we need a break or spend quality time together and accept that means we have to delay paying off a bill by z months.
Our biggest thing was taking out an Equity line of credit to finance the total landscaping of our yard - making it low maintenace, versatile and our getaway space. Our kids’ state case manager saw it and said that we deserved it as she knew that we were not able to travel or take vacations due to the kids’ needs. This is our escape. On the money side - it was 3.99% and even when combined with our mortgage, we have over 50% equity in our home, even after our new assessed value just came out @ 10% less than last year.
You do what is right for you - when on your death bed, you won’t say I wish I paid off my credit cards sooner, but rather I wish I had spent time with my family / loved ones.
You did the right thing. Family is family, and you can’t get that time back.
Also, you weren’t spending with abandon. You paid for the tickets in cash and just delayed paying off the CC debt, but you obviously were well on your way to paying it off. I would have done the same thing you did.
Great post! I can relate. My DH is from Chile (and often very homesick) and our family of four try to make an extended trip (minimum of a month) every three/four years. We stay w/family also. My kids love visiting w/ all their relatives and enjoy the farm life. We try to swing it financially so that DH can travel for two weeks or so every two years. We would all love to go every year if money was no object. It’s usually a minimum of 6K for the four of us only for air travel. And DH’s family is in no position to even think of making a trip to the U.S. Our next trip is planned for January 2012. Can’t wait!
I would have done the same thing, life is for living and family is important.
And, you could look at it as a bargain, as both an 80th birthday and a 50th wedding anniversary are worth traveling for–you did both. So, savings at having combined the trips.
Know what else is a ‘once in a lifetime event’? Death. We also live far from family, and it’s travel for funerals that has set me back more than once.
Better to spend it now to see the living. (But you might as well start a new savings account the day you get back for (ahem) ‘necessary family travel’.Morbid, maybe, but can’t say that you don’t see it coming at some point.
I totally agree with you…some things are far more important than getting out of debt ASAP.
My husband and I live a plane ride away from either parents, grandparents or siblings, so a huge chunk of change goes to that every few months (we like our family). We’ve also been to four out-of-state weddings this year so far (two more to go), because witnessing that major event of a dear friend or family member is worth taking a month or two longer to get out of debt.
This month we’ve embarked on the second year of “No Spend Month,” and are trying to kick the majority of the rest of our debt. It sure makes you get creative with what you have!
And YES we use an Alaska Airlines Visa and get great mileage rewards from that!
I did the same thing earlier this year. I flew to Northern Ireland to see family I had not seen in 7 years. I did feel guilty at first for not putting the money towards debt, so I told myself all of the reasons I was doing it over and over again.
I did the trip as cheap as I possibly could. I went alone so I could stay with family, had a cheap flight, the exchange rates were good, and I did not spend a lot of money on eating out or drinking. My family immediately questioned how I could afford it which only made me feel like I was doing the wrong thing.
Life is more about money though. At the end of the day, it was MY money and MY decision. I am glad I did not let my family’s negativty talk me out of going.
I do not regret the trip at all. Looking back, I needed the break so badly. I was burnt out from working too much and it will be another 2-4 years before I can take a long vacation like that.
I think the main goal is to refocus when you get home from traveling. I could have easily gotten off track with my finances, but I stuck to my budget and I have almost saved for a 2nd trip in the 2 months I’ve been home. I will be putting all of that money towards debt.
The 2nd thing was that I did not use my credit card much while I was away. I took some cash and pulled out money from an ATM. Once that cash was gone, that was it. (I actually had trouble spending it all!) It really helped me to stick to my budget.
Just a couple tips if anyone else is planning on traveling soon.
Sierra, have fun on your trip!
Unfortunately, travel is one of the most expensive of all possible things you can spend money on. Even though it’s not materialism, it’s still consumerism.
People used to take “once in a lifetime” international trips–even to visit family in other countries.
IMO, international travel shouldn’t get a pass–even to see family. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it, period. Doesn’t matter if it’s for a “higher cultural” goal or whatever.
I am also betting that the relatives in Argentina can’t afford to visit the US and so they don’t. If you move to another country you can’t expect to stay in real close contact with those you leave behind. However, these days we do have internet and internet video to help stay in touch.
So….I think you should ask yourself, is it really worth it? Just because it’s travel to see family, I don’t think that’s enough to give it an automatic pass.
I’d only worry if Sierra came back and said “Let’s do it next year” and did not adjust her budget to save for the next trip. It sounds like she stayed on track
Yep, this hits home for me. First - I took my 72 year old mother on her first trip abroad to France this spring. I’d be completely out of debt by now if I hadn’t done it. But, she would never have enough money to go, and she isn’t getting younger. Not one single regret. We’d paid of $30K of a $40K debt by then, but it was a no-brainer to take a pause.
On a sadder note, my aunt is in the hospital next week with what we hope is not cancer. She has a nice pension locked in and can quit any day she likes. I love her, but she’s not even close to as happy with her life as most people I know. It is sad to think that she may never enjoy what she worked for 30 years to attain.
You have to balance it out. Both extremes lead to ruin.
You are investing in ROL at the moment! It’s one of the most rewarding diversifications you can do, in my opinion. ROL is Return On Life! Basically, you are buying memories that will become priceless as you get older. I’m not suggesting that you only invest in ROL, but I’m saying it’s nice to do it every once in a while. While you are there, enjoy yourself, forget the work vacation and concentrate on the family and have fun! Life is too short to only work!
Wow, I think I saw two whole negative comments?
I’ll chime in with the rest and say that it was a totally right decision. Paying cash is key. Pausing the debt snowball, okay, and then get right back on the wagon. No problem.
It’d be different if there weren’t a plan and this was a spur of the moment, mindless decision with no real undertaking to count the pennies and face the music: you weighed the options and made a conscious decision to prolong the debt repayment in favor of human relationships to which you can’t attach a price tag… Though in this case, the cost w/be three months of debt.
Worth it? Undoubtedly. Have a wonderful time. And take lots of pictures. Those, at least, are free.
I’m so happy to see all the positive responses to your decision! People do come first, especially if you’re making wise decisions along the way. We had been out debt for years but we spent all of our emergency savings adopting our second child. Many people wouldn’t agree with blowing your emergency funds but we’re already building it back. It was the right decision, even if it may have been unconventional.
As long as the author found the best deal that she could on the tickets, then more power to her.
I see nothing wrong with it.
Sure, getting out of debt is important, but becoming a slave to reaching this goal is unhealthy in my opinion.
Its the same as saving and scrimping your whole life and never enjoying the money—a waste of time.
I am in total support of your decision. Your heart and priorities are in the right place.
When you’re old and your health is failing, it’s the precious experiences and memories with those you love that will comfort you. You’ll barely recall the credit card debt.
I made a huge mistake in not joining my husband for 3 days in Jamaica a few years ago when he went there for work. We had debt and I wanted to keep attacking it, not squander money on a vacation. I seriously regret that decision! The opportunity may not rise again, and the financial setback wouldn’t have been very much at all. I missed out on what could have been a very special vacation with my beloved!
You made the best decision IMHO!
Sounds like well placed values to me.
Money is only good for some things, but not all things.
Have a wonderful trip. It sounds exciting!
Relax and enjoy - this is the experience of a lifetime for your whole family.
Also, put down the laptop/camera and make sure you participate fully as well. I never understand folks who live their lives through the viewfinder (recording the experiences, rather than living it).
“I called the airline and got refunded the difference”
With all the new fees, that rarely happens these days. Just like folks dressing up to fly…..
You did the right thing. There comes a time when, in spite of our great intentions to pay off debt, that one must evaluate with a different set of values. Paying off credit cards is admirable and smart, but NOT at the expense of family.
To quote Suzie Orman. People first, then things.
If you had decided to save the money instead, I wouldn’t mind betting this entire column would be filled with people telling you that you’d lost sight of what matters and that the whole point of paying off debt is to ensure you can take exactly this kind of opportunity when it arises. Paying off debt isn’t the point of life, it’s supposed to enable living.
My mantra in these - and most - situations lately has become “the perfect is the enemy of the good”. There will never be the perfect time to do many things, when everything will converge in terms of money, time, opportunity, etc. It’s important to set priorities, but to allow them to be flexible to what’s best in any particular moment. Absolutely, without question, these kinds of situations are what money’s for - it’s just a tool, and a means to an end, not the end itself. We must never forget that.
I think you totally did the right thing. I’m frugal practically to the point of being stingy and I would have done the same thing in your shoes since Family is so important. This was a once-in-a-lifetime situation. Once your family members have passed on, there are no second chances. Human lives are worth more than mere pieces of green paper.
Hi Sierra, I’ve been reading GRS for awhile now, and really like this post. I am a freelance writer as well, but I love that you took the chance to educate your kids about Argentina, lol. There is so much you can get from this trip, and you did it as cheap as possible, that’s great. You can’t replace time with family, especially that live so far away. Enjoy your trip!
Don’t forget to take lots and lots of pictures! You (and your kids) will treasure them for years to come.
In my opinion, family is more important than money any day. We are still in debt pay-off mode, but that does not stop me from taking the kids *home* to Canada every summer. They NEED to spend time with their only grandparents (my parents), aunts, uncles and cousins and I need the quality time with my family. Without family, money is worth nothing.
Very nice post - and it reminds me that if we really want to do something, we’ll find a way.
I agree with the majority of posters. Paying off debt does not mean that you can’t partake in important family events just to have it gone sooner.
You planned for it and had the money. In the long run, 3 months is not a big deal.
But you have to keep disciplined and continue working on your goals.