This post is from staff writer Sierra Black. Sierra writes about frugality, sustainable living, and getting her kids to eat kale at Childwild.com. In today’s article, she tackles a topic I’ve been meaning to write about, but haven’t made the time.
Contrary to popular belief, money can buy you happiness — if you spend it on the right things. That’s the skinny from the New York Times Business section, which last week took a close look at spending habits and happiness. Stephanie Rosenbloom writes that increased spending on leisure, travel, and hobbies tends to make people more satisfied with their lives, but buying Stuff does not.
You don’t have to spend a lot to be happy. In fact, simple living often leads to a richer life. The article opens and closes with a profile of Tammy Strobel from Rowdy Kittens, who gave up a solid professional life with all the cars, furniture, and Stuff her boring-but-lucrative job could buy. She’s a freelance writer now, living simply with her husband in Portland, Oregon.
Like a lot of people who’ve shifted away from a consumer lifestyle, Tammy now has more money to spend on what she loves because her needs are small. She’s not buying Stuff or keeping up a big apartment. She and her husband swapped their cars (and car payments) for bicycles.
Experiences, not Stuff
More and more people are moving away from conspicuous consumption towards a life of conscious consumption and saving. A recent spate of research is looking at how to squeeze the most happiness from your dollar. What they’re finding won’t surprise many Get Rich Slowly readers:
- Spending money on experiences brings you more lasting happiness than spending money on Stuff. For example, a vacation will make your life better, over time, than a new couch.
- It’s okay to think small. Spending on several small treats — like a massage, a good book, or dinner at your favorite restaurant — will bring you more happiness than one big-ticket item like a sports car.
- Leisure activities like games, sports, hobbies, and entertainment have more happiness value than material goods.
What really makes people happy is connection. When we’re engaged in a leisure activity, we’re more likely to be socializing with others, forming and strengthening our relationships. It’s these strong relationships, not the Stuff we accumulate, that bring us lasting joy throughout our lives.
Experiences also pay off better than Stuff because we tend to color our memories happy. Let’s say you spring for that new couch. The day you bring it home, it’s perfect. The exact shade, texture, and firmness you wanted. You’re in your bliss, sitting on it for the first time.
Fast forward ten years. Now the couch is tattered and stained, and the cushions have gotten lumpy. Remembering how perfect it was doesn’t make you happier now; it makes you sad that you’re sitting on a bumpy relic of your couch’s former greatness.
Let’s say instead you’d put that money into an experience. A vacation where you were bitten by mosquitoes, almost missed your flight, and lost your hiking boots at the resort. Ten years later, your mosquito bites are gone, the shoes are long forgotten, and the photographs of the beautiful waterfall you visited still hang on your bedroom wall. The vacation actually gets better with time, as you hold on to the happy memories and forget the hassles.
Finally, experiences pay off on the happiness meter because of their novelty. We grow bored with Stuff and then want more! newer! bigger! better! Stuff. But it’s not the Stuff we want more of, really. We’re looking to replace the happiness kick we got from the Stuff when it was new. This is why so many of us can be staring at a closet full of expensive clothes and think we have nothing to wear, or restlessly scroll through thousands of songs in our iPods finding nothing we want to hear.
The psychology of spending
The fancy psychological term for this is “hedonic adaptation”. We adapt to Stuff faster than we adapt to new experiences. A vacation, a cooking class, seeing a good play — these experiences are all complex. They take time to digest, mentally and emotionally. When we do them with friends or loved ones, they become part of our relationships with those people, adding yet more layers to the experience and the memories that come out of it.
Frugal happiness seekers can use these principles to their advantage. It doesn’t take a lot of money to seek out new experiences. Just going for a walk down the beach with a friend can provide plenty of happiness, with no price tag attached.
Remember that idea of stringing small luxuries together, that I mentioned above? Splurging on a series of small indulgences is worth more happiness than one large splurge.
That kind of spending on frivolous luxuries pushes against the grain of my own non-consumer heart, but it’s another way to thwart hedonic adaptation. Buying one large item gives you a burst of happiness that quickly dissipates. While over time you’ll also adapt to the flavors at that restaurant you love or the joy of having flowers on your desk at work, a variety of small indulgences will give you many little happy moments.
On the other hand, we can get more happiness out of large purchases by saving for them in advance, rather than buying them on credit. It’s not simply that being debt-free is a happy way to be; you’ll also get pleasure from anticipating the purchase while you’re saving up for it. Once you have your new couch or dream vacation, you’ll enjoy it more knowing it’s the fruit of your hard work as a saver.
Ultimately, it’s our experiences in life that make us happy, and the relationships we have with those who share our journey. Money can be a great tool for getting the most out of our adventures and our time with loved ones, if we know how to spend it right. That means putting our money where our hearts are: spending on the activities and people we love, not the Stuff we’re told we have to have.
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This article is about News, Psychology, Relationships
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I had a ghastly trip to Europe ew years back, in which I got my heart broken when my fiance announced that he’d met someone else. At the time I thought it was the worse experience of my life. But you know what? The passage of time has softened the bad parts, and deeply emphasized the good parts (radiant weather, fresh berries for breakfast, architecture, museums, lovely friends I made along the way … even the copious tears I shed at the time now appear to have been tears of joy!). I wouldn’t trade that treasured summer for any amount of Stuff. Yes, broken heart and all.
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I disagree that experiences are better than items. I think the lesson is “spend on what matters”. My mother loves cooking and she just spent money on a kitchen redecoration. To her, that was more important than a nice vacation. I on the other hand barely cook, but I do love travel. So I would not make the same decision.
Figure out what matters to you, what makes you happy, and stop caring about what other people think.
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I have a hard time grasping the “experiences over stuff” mentality. I feel the opposite way — if I spend money on an experience, it kind of feels wasteful because it happens and then it’s gone. I prefer to spend money on tangible things that make a lasting impact on my life. Maybe it’s because I’m so careful about how I spend my money, and I rarely buy anything without putting a lot of thought into whether it’s worth the cost, but I often find myself thinking, “I’m glad I bought that.”
The part about small luxuries instead of big ones also goes against my experiences. I almost never eat out, for example, and I hardly miss it. On average, I spend less than a quarter of my budgeted $25/month. I spend a lot on a nice car, though, and it is one of those things I frequently think about how glad I am that I have. It’s worth it to me to sacrifice those little things so I can spend the money on my car.
I’m sure some people get more out of travel and other experiences than I do, but for the most part, I’d rather have (useful, carefully-chosen, and high-quality) stuff.
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It’s all about balance and mindful spending.
A lot of people seem to be anti-big flat screen TV. I have to say it’s one of the best “stuff” purchase I’ve made. Makes movies/sports/tv at home so much more enjoyable. I highly recommend it!
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Interesting… I mentioned hedonic adaptation as well in my blog probably just an hour before this article was posted (mine has a later timestamp than this article, but I’m in a GMT+10 timezone). I think both experiences and stuff are capable of making you happy – as long as you derive pleasure from them and feel that they are/were worth your time and/or money. If not, the flip side of the coin is that both experiences and stuff are also equally capable of making you unhappy. That’s my take!
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in the wise, wise words of my momma:
“money doesn’t buy you happiness, but it DOES buy you options.”
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The Stuff vs Experiences argument is stupid because it doesn’t matter WHAT you spend your money on, it matters HOW and WHY you spend your money. Money is just one tool that can help you to achieve happiness and like any tool, you want to maximize it to its fullest advantage. The woman in the NY article is happier now, not because she has a less cluttered, smaller apt, but because she has gotten her priorities in order and has found a way to get the best, most efficient use out of her money.
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…and what I’ve learned over the last year doing home renovations is an addition to your metaphor about the couch: picking up and moving the bloody thing two hundred times while you finish the work in one room and then transferring it back. OR moving it up and down a narrow staircase if you are to change apartments or move to a new house.
Talk about having a monkey on your back. Or should I say “couch”?
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This is great! Money can buy happiness, but only if you get it at discount!
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I think it is more about enjoying what you have and the experiences you have. I think it is different for everyone. If you sit on your couch 365 days a year and that is what makes you happy- studying irrevocable trust asset protection law for school or just relaxing reading a Sandra Brown novel, then that is what you should do. THAT is your experience.
My most rememberable experience is definitely taking a month off after college and traveling throughout Europe by myself not knowing the languages of any of the places I went. Scary at times, but I will never forget it.
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I’m glad so many people here are against vacations. Thay way my trips will cheaper and less crowded due to less demand.
Less sarcastically, there seems to be some base level for useful stuff for each person, and then a number of useless purchases you can make. For example my wife and I love to cook with our pricey knives and pans, which allow us to make more advance dishes than less expensive tools would. However, each purchase was carefully researched and we will have no need to replace these items for our forseeable lifetime.
In short we try to:
- make wise choices on needed stuff
- limit or eliminate wasteful purchases
- plan and budget for the free or expensive expierences that make us happy.
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