Less sarcastically, there seems to be some base level for useful stuff for each person, and then a number of useless purchases you can make. For example my wife and I love to cook with our pricey knives and pans, which allow us to make more advance dishes than less expensive tools would. However, each purchase was carefully researched and we will have no need to replace these items for our forseeable lifetime.

In short we try to:
- make wise choices on needed stuff
- limit or eliminate wasteful purchases
- plan and budget for the free or expensive expierences that make us happy.

My most rememberable experience is definitely taking a month off after college and traveling throughout Europe by myself not knowing the languages of any of the places I went. Scary at times, but I will never forget it.

Talk about having a monkey on your back. Or should I say “couch”?

“money doesn’t buy you happiness, but it DOES buy you options.”

A lot of people seem to be anti-big flat screen TV. I have to say it’s one of the best “stuff” purchase I’ve made. Makes movies/sports/tv at home so much more enjoyable. I highly recommend it!

The part about small luxuries instead of big ones also goes against my experiences. I almost never eat out, for example, and I hardly miss it. On average, I spend less than a quarter of my budgeted $25/month. I spend a lot on a nice car, though, and it is one of those things I frequently think about how glad I am that I have. It’s worth it to me to sacrifice those little things so I can spend the money on my car.

I’m sure some people get more out of travel and other experiences than I do, but for the most part, I’d rather have (useful, carefully-chosen, and high-quality) stuff.

Figure out what matters to you, what makes you happy, and stop caring about what other people think.

For example, someday I would like to buy an RV. I want it to go camping with my husband and have quiet time and experience nature. It’s “stuff,” but it would help us to have experiences.

Spend money on experiences, not stuff.

Hands down the best advice there is

People can learn to appreciate their things instead of taking them for granted or dismissing them into the background. I think that’s a better response to the study. My stuff is important to me, it adds to my life on a daily basis; a vacation happens once and fades into memory. Sure, that trip to the beach was fun, and I really relaxed and connected with my family, but I use my stuff every day and it improves my life every day.

And it’s a bit simplistic because people don’t have full information and their happiness now is different than their happiness later etc. etc.

Still, the thought of travel right now makes me shudder and the new mattresses we just got make me happy. And that’s because the old mattress was hurting my back and I have done way too much travel in the past year. A few years ago it would have been the opposite– I didn’t need a new mattress yet and a free trip to Spain was a dream come true.

I agree though, stuff vs. experiences is a false dichotomy and it is important to take care of yourself and your relationships in order to be happy. It’s also important to bloom where you’re planted and to justify every decision you made as having been the right one (according to Stumbling on Happiness). It is important to remember, though, in our justification that even though it may have been the right decision for us, it might not be right for other people.

There is probably no way to have a rule to how everyone should spend money that everyone would agree with, because the fact of the matter is everyone has different values, and that’s ok. To me, I know I’ve looked aghast at friends who sign up their children for expensive camps, or take a vacation they save up for all year, but again THAT’s what’s important to them. Stuff versus experiences is a false dichotomy.

But here’s my attempt. The biggest correlation is between happiness and your physical, emotional, and psychological health. Spend your time and efforts in taking care of yourself in the fullest sense, by exercising, hobbies, having an interesting fulfilling job, relationships (spouse, friends, coworkers, children, other family members). The more you invest in these, they will pay you back many-fold. Once you get past the basics of taking care of these things, there IS no correlation between money and happiness.

But I think we’re arguing about the wrong thing. Stuff vs. Experience is awfully tough to settle because there is no firm definition. Obviously the perspectives on definition vary by opinion!

Connections, relationships, memories. Purpose in life, accomplishment, advancement. These are things that have deep value that speak to our core principles. How you build and acquire them will vary greatly. Buying electronics may give you a brief (but fading) sense of accomplishment, but holding a party that everyone loves and remembers that may use your electronics as a centerpiece will likely give you a more lingering feeling of contentment (imagine nieces and nephews playing Wii with their grandparents, or a big family cookout around your Weber grill), with shared stories and memories that enhance the relationships you’ve built.

I’m going to need some more explanation on this one. Otherwise I disagree wholeheartedly.

JD,
I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to keep the right balance. You’re doing a great job, otherwise I wouldn’t keep coming back.

Just because something is true on average doesn’t make it true for everybody and figuring out why things are true for some people and not for others leads to deeper understanding of and more mindfulness to the concept itself.

Attacking people who have had different experiences is just as bad as those who have had different experiences attacking these articles. (And now I’m the one judging those who judge the judgers to add a third layer.) When will it end?

Experiences are nice but they kind of fade, I have conflicted feelings about that article on one hand that couple is doing what works for them, on the other hand, it seems sort of extreme.

Now I don’t own a lot of stuff but it seems they went from one extreme debt to another extreme owning 100 items or less. I guess I don’t like those type of articles because they say minimalism helps them avoid debt, but no one made them get into debt in the first place.

I’m all for minimalism but I just I dunno.

For anybody who may not know what would really make you happy, I’d suggest experimenting a little. Join some Yahoo Meetup Groups or try out a local class for whatever. When you find the group or hobby or activity that you highly value, you’ll know. It will be like opening a window in a stuffy room. You’ll be blown away by how different you feel when you discover something you love.

Re: travel: My mother hates it. She’ll find something to complain of in any trip, whether it’s just down the road to a car show or across the country to see me. On the flip side, I’ve never had a bad trip/vacation. Sure, the planes have been delayed, the flights have been crowded and noisy, the hotels have been imperfect. Maybe I was on business, maybe I had to spend most of my time trapped in a relative’s house. What I remember – what I CHOOSE to remember – are the great things. And there are great things about each and every trip/vacation – even the ones that I did not want to take.

There are great things about ANY experience. They’re not always apparent. Sometimes you have to look for them. But I would rather put a little effort into pulling the good out of a situation than bring myself down – at the time and ever after – by saying “that sucked!”

And another thing. Entertainment does not equal experience. Sitting at home and watching a movie, even if it’s a great movie on a terrific home theatre system, is not an “experience” in the same sense that going out to see a live play is an experience. Listening to even the best recording on the most state-of-the-art audio system is not an “experience” in the same sense that going out to a live concert is an experience.

Experience is something you DO. Entertainment is something you RECEIVE.

Every time there’s a post related to Stuff, we get the Stuff apologists who don’t want to hear about it. You’re entitled to love your Stuff. But the whole point of reading a site like this is to make yourself think about the hows, and most crucially the whys, of your spending.

If you won’t think about the Why because you are hung up on defending your spending, you’re doing yourself a disservice. But if you don’t want to read another post about Stuff … then DON’T.

Long-time readers are well-aware that I went through my own stage of cheapness (as opposed to frugality) after I paid off my debt. It’s taken me time to find balance. Now I’m able to spend on the stuff I want without getting out of control.

But I hope that GRS doesn’t always read like it’s against spending. My goal is to find a balance, to share articles for people in ALL stages of personal finance…