Action Not Words: The Difference Between Talkers and Doers
Published on - August 30th, 2010 (Modified on - March 14th, 2012) (by J.D. Roth) It’s Sunday morning and I should be editing articles in advance of my upcoming vacation. Instead, I just got done playing another game of Starcraft II. Since the game was released on July 27th, I’ve played many games of Starcraft II. In fact, I’ve played at least 150 games of Starcraft II. (I know this because the game keeps track of your record. I played 50 training matches, and have since won 47 and lost 42 against human opponents, putting me near the top of my division in the “Silver League”. Plus I’ve played some single-player games.)
How much time has playing 150 games of Starcraft II sucked from my life? At about 30 minutes per game, it’s safe to say I’ve spent about 80 hours over the past month — or about 20 hours per week — building virtual armies and blowing stuff up.
Now on the surface, there’s nothing wrong with me having a little fun. I’ve been waiting for this game for almost twelve years. Plus, I’ve been working hard for the past two years, and I’ve been stressed because of it. I deserve some time off, and have intentionally been downshifting to a simpler life, one that gives me time for computer games.
However, having said that, in this case there’s a problem. Recently my game-playing — I’ve also been obsessed with Carcassonne on the iPad (getting close to the global top 100 list!) — has been obsessive, and has come at a price.
- I haven’t been cycling (though I have been going to the gym).
- I haven’t been doing my work around the house.
- I haven’t been studying my French. (One of my goals was too be able to speak a bit of French before our upcoming trip to Paris.)
- I haven’t been prepping my Animal Intelligence blog for re-launch (which is still scheduled for Wednesday!).
- I’ve been scrambling to get articles ready for Get Rich Slowly.
I say I’m going to do all of these things, but I never do. Instead I play computer games. Basically, I’ve turned into the old J.D. — the J.D. of five years ago. I’ve become a Talker instead of a Doer.
Talkers vs. Doers
Five years ago, I was full of hot air. Well, that and I was clinically depressed. And lazy. This was not a good combination for Getting Things Done. I talked a lot about the things I wanted to do, but I never did them. I found reasons not to. I even had trouble keeping up my end of the household chores, which my wife found very frustrating.
I was a Talker.
Maybe you know somebody like this. A Talker seems to know the solutions to everything, has great plans on how he’s going to make money or get a new job. But the funny thing is, the Talker never acts on his solutions and his great plans. And he never gets that new job. He’s out of work or stuck in a job he hates. To everyone else, it’s clear that the Talker is full of hot air, but he believes he’s bluffing everyone along, or conflates talking with doing. When confronted, a Talker always has excuses for not getting things done: he doesn’t have time, he doesn’t have the skills, the odds are stacked against him. When a Talker does do something, he often takes a shortcut.
That, my friends, was the man I used to be.
But something changed in the autumn of 2005. I began to read a lot of books. Not just personal finance books (though, as you know, I read plenty of those), but also self-help books and success manuals. I read Feeling Good to deal with my depression, How to Win Friends and Influence People [my review] to learn how to talk with people, and so on. And gradually I began to take the advice in these books to heart.
I began to take small steps, began to be more active in my world. Instead of just talking about doing things, I did them. I stopped looking for shortcuts — I had been a huge fan of shortcuts — and started actually doing the work required to get things done. Shockingly, this worked. By doing the work, I got the expected results. By doing instead of talking, things started to happen.
I became a Doer.
We Are What We Repeatedly Do
Author Kevin J. Anderson has a fantastic post on his blog about the similarities between the Olympics and writing. Here’s a lengthy excerpt:
I’ve had many people tell me, “Oh, writing is easy. Anybody can do it if they just sit down and put their minds to it.” Here’s how the conversation goes:
Somebody at a book-signing: “I’ve always wanted to be a writer. I could write a novel.”
Me: “Oh? Why haven’t you?”
Person: “I just don’t have the time.”
Me: “Hmm. Nobody gives me the time, either. I have to make the time, set priorities, discipline myself to get my writing done each day, no matter how tired I am. I worked a full-time regular job while I wrote my first novels, scraping out an hour here or there in evenings and weekends. That’s how I’ve become a successful author.”
Person: “Yeah, right. I think you’re just lucky.”
[...]
I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was five years old. I sat in my dad’s study and plunked out my first “novel” on a manual typewriter when I was eight. By the age of ten, I had saved up enough money to buy either a bicycle (like a normal kid), or my own typewriter. I chose the typewriter. I got my first rejection slip by the time I was 13, had my first story published when I was 16 (after I had gathered 80 rejection slips), and sold my first novel by the time I was 25.
I have a trophy in my office proclaiming me to be “The Writer with No Future” because I could produce more rejection slips by weight than any other writer at an entire conference. My files now bulge with more than 800 rejections. On the other hand, I also have 100 books published, 46 of which have been national or international bestsellers, I’ve got a shelf full of awards, and my work has been translated into 30 languages. I’ve written more than twelve million words, so far.
Anderson is a Doer. He doesn’t just talk about writing — he writes. He writes over and over and over again. Through the sheer act of writing, he became a writer.
People often ask me about the secret to this blog’s success. “How did you get so many readers?” they ask. “How can I do the same?”
My answer is similar to Anderson’s. There aren’t any secrets. Write and post great content on a regular basis for a long, long time. In short, you can’t just talk about building a great blog; you also have to put in the work. Simple, right? But it’s not easy.
(I appreciate the folks who come up to me and say, “You know, J.D., I don’t know how you do it. I tried to keep a blog for a few months. It was hard.” Yes, it is. It’s work, just like anything else.)
If there’s something you want to be or do, the best way to become that thing is to actually take steps toward it, to move in that direction. Don’t just talk about it, but do something. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Just take a small step in the right direction every single day.
If you want to get out of debt, take small steps toward becoming debt-free. If you want to save for a trip to Africa, save a little bit at a time. If you want to get a new job, make moves in that direction. But take action. That’s the most important step.
Action Not Words
Of course, there’s more to getting stuff than just taking action. It’s one thing to say you want to become a commercial airline pilot and another to actually do it. Here are some of the things I learned as I made the move from Talker do Doer:
- Make time for the things you want to do. One of the keys to getting things done is setting aside time for the things you want to accomplish. You have to make time to get stuff done. As the Kevin J. Anderson article I mentioned above demonstrates, you don’t just become a best-selling author or an Olympic athlete. Talking doesn’t make it so. You have to carve out time to do this stuff. You have to put your Big Rocks first and fit the small stuff in around them.
- Have a goal in mind. I truly believe that the biggest reason I used to struggle with getting stuff done is that I didn’t have any sort of plan. I had no goals. Goals give you purpose. It wasn’t until I became committed to digging out of debt that I was able to actually start moving in the right direction. Part of my current problem is that I’ve recently achieved a bunch of big goals, but now have nothing planned for the future.
- Don’t take on too much. While it’s important to set goals, don’t take on too many tasks at once. I try to set just one or two major goals at a time. Any more and I find I can’t pursue any of them effectively. This year, my one goal is to lose 50 pounds. I’m on pace to do that. Why? Because I don’t have anything else on my schedule competing for time. This is my Big Rock.
- Don’t let failures deter you. This is huge. One of the reasons I used to talk so much without acting is that I was afraid of failure. I’m not sure where I learned to be afraid of defeat, but that’s the way I was. And when I did try something but failed, I’d give up. This is no way to get stuff done. Talkers let fear of failure keep them on the sideline; Doers overcome fear and move on, and when they fail, they simply try again.
- Don’t find reasons that something can’t be done; instead, find ways that something can be done. This is a pet peeve of mine. I hate when people come to me for advice, but when I give it, they tell me all of the reasons it won’t work for their circumstances. (This often happens when I suggest people take a second job to boost their income, for example.) One of the biggest difference between successful people and those who aren’t is that the successful don’t make excuses. If something looks difficult or impossible, they find ways to make it happen anyhow.
In the past five years, I’ve learned that I can do anything I set my mind to. Get out of debt? After I stopped talking and started doing, I got out of debt quicker than I thought possible. Losing 50 pounds? Well, I’m not there yet, but I’ve lost over 30 pounds since January 1st — but it didn’t happen until I stopped talking about it and started working hard to make it happen. Learning French? Well, there’s one where my talk outpaces my action right now, and it’s a perfect example of what I mean when I say actions speak louder than words. I don’t study my French as much as I should, so basically all I can do is count and tell you what color my clothes are. (“J’ai deux chemise noir.”)
For five years, my doing slowly increased until this past winter it reached a frenzied pace. I was burning myself out. I was writing and speaking and working and exercising and…well, it seemed like I never had a spare moment. This was the dark side of doing, and it’s what triggered my desire to downshift. It’s what led the pendulum swinging too far in the direction of Starcraft II.
Finding a Solution
So what’s the solution to my current problem? How can I stop playing computer games so much? How can I stop just being a Talker and become a Doer again? Well, making this public confession is a first step. But the thing that I think will really help is the “decision tree” I came up with the other day. Whenever the urge to game strikes, I’m going to ask myself the following questions:
- Have I exercised today?
- Are the house and yard tidy?
- Have I run all of my errands?
- Have I written and/or edited at least two articles for Get Rich Slowly?
- Does my inbox have fewer than 20 messages?
If I can answer “yes” to these five questions, then it’s okay to play Starcraft II or Carcassonne. But if I answer “no” to even one of these questions, I need to have the discipline to let the gaming go. I believe this will help me strike a balance. It’ll help me return to the world of Doing again. Because you know what? Life is a lot more fun as a Doer than a Talker.
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I scanned through comments and stopped at #31 Raghu Bilhana, which I happen to agree with and decided to not waste my time longer. There were some good reader’s stories occasionally, and may be a couple of guest bloggers. Your own articles did loose in quality. May be if you reduce the quantity, they’ll improve…unless the game playing overtakes (which, being from generation/country where it wasn’t exsisting, I don’t understand at all, especially for anyone over the age 15). I understand there is only that much you can write about cutting budget and saving money, and you need to make a living off this website, so you need us to keep hitting it, but…still…I do appreciate your honesty. As they say, the first step torecovery is admitting you need help. Now, go ride a bike. Fold dired clothes. Make lunch. Take Kris out for a walk – your town is too pretty for not using that:)
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I didn’t realize people over 40 played video games. I’m 25 and I didn’t even have them in my house as a kid lol hmmm.
Anyway, yeah… I definitely have some talking vs. doing habits I am working on… like EXERCISING!
I am actually swimming now. Consistently.
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The concept of procrastination is really a catch-all reference to displacement activities. A displacement activity is an action that we often slip into when we can’t decide what action to take. It’s usually something that we do often.
For example, cats will often groom themselves while contemplating their next move. Grooming is something they do often, and it’s always a productive activity to them.
Likewise, people will often do something common and comforting like reading or watching television or playing video games – these are considered more productive than doing nothing (at least to our mammalian brains), and so they don’t make us feel guilty about not doing the dishes or laundry or vacuuming or whatever – because the activity is just productive enough to make us feel like we did something. By doing this we satisfy the need to act without actually acting at all.
Even with my understanding of this, I still struggle with doing what needs to be done. If I have something important but not urgent and find myself in displacement activities, I make myself spend at least as much time on the work as I did on the displacement activities.
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Love the topic. It’s something I struggle with as well. Your article focuses on the fun of the games you are playing (instead of getting your work done). I’ve found that it doesn’t matter what the game is, if I limit myself from one thing, then I’ll pick up another. For instance, when I finally gave up Minesweeper, and removed it from my computer, then I started on FreeCell. Now it’s Hearts. It’s not the game that matters, but what you’re distracting yourself from. What is it about the task that you know you need to do that feels unpleasant? Trying to get to the bottom of that is what helps me.
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Re: upcoming trip to France: just a suggestion. Why not put your phrase book on your dining table and run through a page or two over dinner? Make THAT a game.
to the taxi driver: “take us to the Eiffel Tower, please” = allons au Tour Eiffel, s’il vous plait = ahlong oh toor eeFEL, si voo play
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I’m not a gamer by any means, but I totally get this article. I’m still a talker on things that scare me…(maybe challenge would be a better term.) These are usually long-term/strategic in nature. I like to see fast results, so I struggle with issues like those.
Like you JD, I’ve shed my financial bad habits and was hoping to be fulfilled from that. I somewhat am, but now I’m faced with even bigger challenges…challenges there are no easy to follow instructions for. There’s no “debt snowball” for what I want to do with my life.
Like Rob said above, perhaps you are struggling with the strategic question of where to take GRS in the future?
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> Ditch the computer games, they can lead to depression.
Umm, no. Playing computer games too much could be a symptom of depression, but it’s not the cause.
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I will say what #31 and #50 said but more kindly — I do miss your articles, J.D. You may think that your audience comes to this blog strictly to read and discuss personal finance, but that is not true. You have really touched on a lot of lifestyle issues that are common in the US — depression, irresponsibility, working toward a goal, attitude about money — and that is what keeps me coming back every day. Your writers do a fine job of writing stock “PF” stories, but they aren’t you.
You may not realize, even now after making your living from your blog and having written a book, how much your personality infuses your writing and gives it a particular flavor, but it does and cannot be replicated.
More J.D., please.
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Hmmm. To thank you for the excellent post or to curse you for introducing me to Carcassonne.
Your post really resonated with me. I’m suffering from depression and when it comes to my writing, I’m a total talker. Working on changing that.
I’ve been avoiding SC II like the plague. I want to play, I just know I shouldn’t right now. Thankfully, I’m very disciplined when it comes to buying games. It’s a very rare title I’ll pay the full $50-60 for – I usually wait until they are twenty dollars, except for one or two titles a year. SC II has to compete with Civ V and Fallout:NV this year. And I don’t think I could make time for both SC II AND Civ V – yikes. Talk about the ultimate time sucks.
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I agree with Missy #57. I read this blog way less these days… I miss JD.
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I needed to read this post today.
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Games are designed to be addictive. There’s a really great Big Bang Theory episode where Penny is addicted and Leonard explains exactly the concept of how games are designed to give feedback and a small sense of accomplishment– things we wish our jobs did but don’t always do. In game design terms, this concept of accomplishment is called “flow.” (I think feedback is just called “feedback.”)
The trick is to have real life reward us like games do. Just like the debt snowball (or the chain links in yesterday’s reader post). Chart your progress. Have accountability and celebrate your accomplishments. Work in small units of gradually increasing difficulty.
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J.D. I think I’m pretty lucky I got a response from you over the weekend.
Seriously, I enjoy your honesty and wish you the best.
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This is why I could never run my own business (and wouldn’t want to) — I’m terrible at managing my personal time. When I’m at work, I work hard, practically nonstop. At home, though, I waste too much time reading blogs and watching DVDs, and I never seem to make progress on the things I want to do. There are some books I’ve been meaning to read, some of which I hope will give me an edge at work, and some minor home improvement tasks (like painting the garage) that I keep putting off. I usually start things pretty gung-ho and then lose steam. Maybe I will try your way, but not quite as strict: before I start watching a DVD, I will make progress on at least one of these things.
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To #31, #50, #57, and #59
You’re very kind. I’m flattered that you think so highly of my writing to want more of it. And as long as I’m able, I’ll keep writing for Get Rich Slowly. I love it.
However, having said that, I’m in a very different place than I was just two years ago, let alone 4-1/2 years ago. My finances are different. My interests are different. My life is different. I no longer have the drive to update GRS by myself seven days a week. Plus, as much as you like my voice, I’d be willing to wager it gets old after a while.
To me, bringing in staff writers and guest writers solves a problem. It keeps the content fresh, for one thing. Different people have different perspectives, and by bringing in other authors, Get Rich Slowly is able to share entirely different points of view. Plus, it keeps me from getting stale.
I love The Simple Dollar, and I like Trent as a friend and a colleague. But I sometimes think he’s hit a sort of wall because he’s just one man trying to update his site twice a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year. He can only speak from his own experience, right? To me, TSD — as much as I love it — sometimes seems stale. I saw that happening to GRS, too, and so did the readers. You folks were complaining about stale content, the same stuff every day. Bringing in outside readers was a sensible way to deal with this.
Still, I know that it’s not possible to please everyone. Raghu, who earlier in this thread complained that I’m not writing here enough, also complained a couple of weeks ago that my priorities had changed and that I’m out of touch with my readers. In other words, I’ve changed, and my content is different. I can’t win! I’m either stale or I’m changing too much.
The best Get Rich Slowly can do is publish great content that appeals to many people. I post as often as I can think of something interesting to write about. Sometimes that’s once a week. Sometimes that’s ten times a week. (Okay, not often ten times a week anymore!) But by bringing in other voices, GRS stays as good as possible.
In my own mind, this is now a multi-author blog. Seriously. I don’t think of this as “my blog” anymore. I think of it as belonging to the GRS community. It’s a place for all of us to share what we learn, and I think it’s richer for that.
That said, I’ll take your requests to heart. Maybe I can start posting more light afternoon stuff — links to other articles and profiles of new personal-finance tools. This may be a way to increase my voice without stretching me too far.
Plus, you guys could always read Animal Intelligence when it’s back up and running!
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These are great tips that you can apply, not just towards personal finance, but to life in general. I think what usually gets me is taking on too much and being deterred after failure; definitely things I have to work on and especially when it comes to my financial goals. Thanks for this!
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Of course, another way to take control of things is to simply remove temptation from your life completely. Like, say, deleting Starcraft II from your hard drive. And, say, intentionally leaving your iPad at the box factory after your radio interview this morning. These things, too, are great ways to move from Talker to Doer.
If you don’t have innate self-control, then create external self-control. (Does that even make sense? Doesn’t matter. If it works, it works!)
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This is great and inspired my post for today.
http://realme42.blogspot.com/2010/08/deeds-not-words-difficult-but-important.html
I think it is the main problem I have in life. I plan lots of things and talk about them, but too often I don’t follow through and do the work.
For instance, I’ve been saying “I’m writing a novel” for the past two years but how many days do I actually write. Pitifully few. I’d be more accurate if I said “I’m planning to write a novel.” But that will never get my published. The work is what will count, not the talking about doing it!
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I’m also a talker- I admit it.
Whoever talked about setting a timer, that does work.
The other thing that helps is getting going on the unwanted thing first and saving the fun stuff for later.
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I suffered from a Madden addiction years ago. Then one day I was watching ESPN and they had Madden gamers visit the real life NFL players from the game. The NFL players took the gamers outside and had them running routes and catching passes, poorly. The gamers were out of shape, had no coordination and no athleticism. So I asked myself, “WOW! is that me?” The wannabe who doesn’t actually do anything. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back and I went out got an LA Fitness membership and put the sticks(controllers) down. My point being that you should always consider the benefits/harm of what you’re doing other than the pleasure of the activity. Some things are fun but they have no positive effect on your life. I’m sure drugs give you a lot of pleasure but they certainly destroy your health and your life. Better to learn to enjoy things that improve your life instead of activities that are just glorified time wasters. Far more rewarding in the long run.
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I think it’s: “J’ai deux chemises noires.” The noun “chemise” needs an “s” because it’s plural. Also, the adjective “noir” needs an “e” because the preceding noun is feminine and an “s” because the preceeding noun is plural. Fortunately, both phrases sound the same when they are spoken!
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See, Blair! I need to study more French and play less Starcraft!
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Great article J.D., becoming a Doer instead a Talker is hard work and thats what it takes to do it, hard work, plain and simple.
But I wanted to pick up on something you said in the post about fear of failure. I just wrote about how the fear of failure leads us to believe there is a direct path from education to wealth for the writers group project at gobankingrate.com. I think that we all have a fear of failure, but school engrains in us a deep desire to avoid failure at all costs; to shut up until we absolutely know the answer, which limits our ability to take risks which can lead to a “Doer”, entrepreneur mentality instead of the “Talker” mentality, and ultimately “Doers”, those who take more risks are the ones who are able to build wealth and/or get things done. Sometimes all it comes down to between a Doer and a Talker is the ability to risk failure.
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I have nothing to add but some advice on beating rushes:
1 – scout your opponent early on, maybe with your 9th harvester if you’re paranoid. I use my 14th you should be able to see what’s coming and adjust your tactics accordingly.
2 – if you are hit with a rush and have few to no war units, use your probes to attack the invaders.
3 – always be building harvesters until you have something like 20-24 on your minerals.
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Thank-you for this post. I’ve never thought about things in terms of the Talker/Doer (or Thinker, as some commenters have added), but it really makes sense.
My husband and I both recently graduated with PhDs from UC Berkeley. We have often talked about the fact that we aren’t the most intelligent people we know -we were just both very diligent and we persevered. One of the most brilliant people I know failed to earn her PhD in my program because the work didn’t appeal to her.
Now I’m working in the “real world”, and I have much less drive than I did before. Thanks for the wake-up call. It’s time for me to set some new goals!
PS. re: Raghu Bilhana’s comment -I love your guest posts. They broaden the perspective of your blog and have introduced me to a lot of new ideas.
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J.D.,
I greatly enjoy your posts AND the posts of your staff writers. The Simple Dollar was the first pf blog I started reading and while Trent does a great job, it is getting a little stale. I know I can drop by GRS and see something fresh from a different perspective while there are only so many times I want to read about making my own laundry detergent or skipping a latte or two.
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“But the funny thing is, the Talker never acts on his solutions and his great plans. And he never gets that new job. He’s out of work or stuck in a job he hates.”
I think that’s incredibly unfair. Simplistic. And naive.
Anderson himself says that while he’s published over 100 books, he also has over 800 rejection letters. That strongly implies that success is not entirely within his control. Sometimes he’s lucky. More often than not, he’s not.
In this economy, sure it’s easy to find a job if you don’t mind working for minimum wage, doing boring repetitive tasks that make you question why you even bothered going to college. It’s much harder to find a job for which you are neither under- or overqualified for, even when you are realistic about the skills in demand and the expectations of the job.
The nationwide, generic unemployment rate, uncorrected for regional differences, blue collar jobs, white collar jobs, etc, etc, is roughly 10%. The underemployment rate, a way of measuring our potential productivity, is closer to 25%. As the cliched joke goes, there are a lot of people out there with Masters’ Degrees in English Literature, asking you if you want fries with that?
There are lots of reasons why this may be the case. Sometimes people can’t move for a better job due to negative equity or family obligations. There may be regulatory and bureaucratic constraints. Training may not be available. There may be a surplus such that only the most experienced get hired. The desired field may be saturated; not everyone can become the CEO of a fortune 500 company simply because there are only 500 such slots to begin with. Or there may just simply be no money available in that field (such as construction). These are all factors that are beyond the dream-job-applicant’s control.
I realize that this is just a single blog article emphasizing the power of positive thinking and taking baby steps, but I can only imagine how Anderson would have felt if he had confessed to 800 rejection letters only to be told that he wasn’t trying hard enough.
My friend just got a new job slash promotion, climbed the ladder and is now one rung short of his dream job. (Congratulations if you’re reading this!) The thing is, he spent four years paying his dues, putting up with crap, working graveyard shifts, going on interviews, volunteering for projects and doing everything he can to make himself the ideal candidate.
By any measure of the word, he’s a doer.
He will also be the first one to tell you that the only reason he was even considered for the position is because the incumbent decided to move on to greener pastures. He firmly believes that the secret to his success was being patient, saying focused on his goal, turning down other opportunities, and waiting for his chance.
By that definition, he’s also a talker. I can’t begin to tell you how many times we’ve tried to persuade him to do something else that fully utilizes his talent, and more importantly, did not rely on his boss kneeling over.
I did not mention his name earlier because by virtue of being a talker, he also inadvertently sabotaged an otherwise promising relationship. I don’t know if it keeps him up nights but it certainly would have kept me up nights; would I have been happier “doing something” and keeping a girlfriend, or being a talker, waiting for my chance but loosing the girl in the process?
Obviously there’s some overlap and it’s not a black and white issue.
In the interests of offering constructive criticism, I’d love to see a follow up article discussing when to accept that something’s beyond your control, in the context of seizing job opportunities.
Especially in today’s economy, at what point should someone stop “talking” and leave his secure job? And probably a little more relevantly, at what point should someone who’s receiving unemployment benefits, stop applying for his dream job and instead take a minimum wage position, and baby-step his way up the ladder?
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I’m interested in trying out Starcraft II, unfortunately I’m stranded in Afghanistan with a netbook and limited internet access. It kind of bums me out that you have internet access to play it.
One of my whole reasons for wanting to retire early is to have more time to devote to my video game playing passion. I promised myself as a kid that I would never stop playing video games, and nowadays work just gets in the way (that, and the ridiculous prices of today’s games).
As far as becoming a doer, I’ve resolved that as long as I’m stuck in Afghanistan I might as well write a little bit about it, which is why I decided to dedicate every Friday on my blog to sharing my experiences.
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Great post JD. I just realised that Im a talker too! I’ll take my baby steps from now on to become a doer.
Thanks for the great post!
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Thanks JD for keeping it honest and letting us know of your own daily challenges!I always enjoy learning new things about finance but I also enjoy when you bring in your personal story of how you achieved success through hard work.
Thanks!
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This is so spot on. You know for four years I “played” guitar. Of course I always told myself I would practice to get better, but I never actually did it. In the past two months – when i actually started doing the practicing – I’ve gotten better than I ever was in those four years.
Et, bonne chance avec vos études! Je pense qu’il ne sera pas trop difficile. Apprendre une langue resemble à écrire un roman: pour progresser, il faut que vous écriviez, lisiez, et PARLIEZ.
Translation: And good luck with your studies! I don’t think it will be too difficult. Learning a language is similar to writing a novel: to get better, you must write, read, and SPEAK.
or at least I think that’s what I said. I skipped french last semester :/
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How motivating. New person goal: Even if for just 15 minutes a day I need to be doer. But the video games (or tv addictions, or other “time wasters”) can be a nice break to add some balance. Just like an occasional latte won’t break the bank. Thanks for sharing!
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Love that you’re playing SC II on the Mac, and I completely understand how it can suck you in. It seems like we’ve spent the same amount of time playing matches and not enough time improving our sites…
Silver League here too.. Trying to push forward with Protoss..
Did you really delete SC II? Good thing its a quick install
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I went cold turkey on the tv a few years ago, after watching the third rerun of a documentary on Discovery. That same night I called the cable company and had them cut my cable. The relief! I was at a loss of what to do with my time for about a week, but after that so many interesting things came up to fill the void!
JD, for your French: maybe you can have a small blogitem every day with some new French idiom? Or a chat in French? Je vous souhaite de bonne chance, et je pense que c’est mieux pour vous si on vous répond en Francais.
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I always thought of it as a “do’er vs Complainer”.
My dad was a complainer and it drove me nuts. He was so unhappy about his life.
Whenever I feel the urge to complain I ask myself:
What can I do to get out of this situation?
It seems to work most of the time, especially if I start with a relatively easy task to start with. Then it gets the ball rolling.
I admit though that sometimes it takse a while to get out of rut. Best to try not to get in it in the first place.
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Excellent post. I agree with you. I have a slogan in my blog “Stop Dreaming Start Action”.
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J.D.! As if I really needed another iPad app to distract me!
But seriously though, you are so right. For so long I wanted my own business and blog and just talked about it but never actually did anything. Now I’m finding how much work it really is! But I still enjoy it!
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Wow! Such an inspiring post JD. I love talking about my plans. But doing them is an entirely different thing!
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J.D., nevermind all of this….. Where are my Starcraft tips???? I need to learn from the master!
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JD, I notice that you start this post with a statistical analysis of your gaming behaviour. This is very interesting, as I find that one of the ways of moving from talking (or thinking) to doing is to keep a record of what one is doing, or not doing. I’ve heard that it has been shown that people who simply keep record of what they are eating already start losing weight. Just keeping track of each penny was the start to your financial freedom.
Putting numbers to things give us control over them.
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I actually agree on the idea of completely removing the item that stays on your way to be a doer. I know I am only human as well, and plan accordingly. I leave laptop at work so I don’t plug in at home. I cancelled my Facebook account because I couldn’t control how much I spend on it reading bs while I was subscribed (for a full 2 months). I get my run done at 5am, and my second workout straight from work, so I have no distructions of house/family responsibility. At work I start on chemical reaction, and then tune into blog world:) Not many people are hard core will powered. We just need to plan smart.
p.s. most of all I like discussions that are brought by the posts:)
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I’m afraid your French needs some more time than you’re giving it. It should be: J’ai deux chemises noires. You said ‘I have two black shirt’. But keep up the good work, the French are very chauvenistic and any tourist who at least tries to speak French is welcomed like a lost child.
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My SO and I are completely different from each other in this regard. I think the fear of failure is a big part of it. I am not afraid of being wrong, so I get a lot more done. My spouse, on the other hand, has to research everything to death and know every little nuance, and usually ends up doing nothing. In psychological terms, she’s a “maximizer” and I’m a “satisficer” (see The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz). This usually means that my method of doing things does not result in the perfect product, but I would pick action over inaction almost every time. My motto: “The perfect is the enemy of the good.” I agree with the PPs who said the game sounds like a displacement activity, and that you may be slipping back into depression.
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Everybody deserves a break once in awhile.
Sounds to me like you do–if this game is your vice or your hobby or whatever–great for you.
Enjoy
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It’s a fine line between a doer with the right balance of life to leisure and an obsessed person who does nothing more than work and never has a moment off. My father used to be the latter. He would work 18 hour days, 7 days a week, chasing his dream. He did this for a period of about 20 years before he finally realized this was not the way to live his life. He still works hard but he also takes the occasional vacation these days and spends time with his kids. Don’t go too far in either direction JD.
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I’m not a gamer by any means, but I totally get this article. I’m still a talker on things that scare me…(maybe challenge would be a better term.) These are usually long-term/strategic in nature. I like to see fast results, so I struggle with issues like those.
Like you JD, I’ve shed my financial bad habits and was hoping to be fulfilled from that. I somewhat am, but now I’m faced with even bigger challenges…challenges there are no easy to follow instructions for. There’s no “debt snowball” for what I want to do with my life.
Like Rob said above, perhaps you are struggling with the strategic question of where to take GRS in the future?
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A lot of this has rung true for myself. I’ve found not only do I procrastinate but I also build my own walls against things. I recently started a blog about computer things 6 weeks ago.
I wanted to make it in February. So I said, “WordPress is horrible for a blog, let me write my own engine.” So I wrote an engine in CGI::FastCGI. Then I decided that using a while loop for the dispatch was horrible, and went to POE::Component::FastCGI. That was about March. April and May I implemented the entire engine, but the CSS and HTML was a nightmare (i’m far from a designer of pretty things). By July I was basically saying, “I can’t write a blog because I make bad CSS and HTML that is unattractive”.
I talked to a friend of mine whose advise was basically, “You want to write a blog, write a blog. You’re writing a blogging engine.”
So now, I’m using wordpress and have actually published some articles. Eventually I think I’ll port a theme to my engine and use it, but building things infront of your end-goal that derail the actual goal is still a huge problem I have.
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I know of quite a few people that have time management issues that have found success with systems like the pomodoro technique which builds breaks into your day:
http://www.pomodorotechnique.com/
From Karate Kid:
Walk on road, hmm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later, get squish just like grape. Here, karate, same thing. Either you karate do ‘yes,’ or karate do ‘no.’ You karate do ‘guess so,’ just like grape. Understand?
You can find some good advice on establishing positive rituals in The Power of Full Engagement.
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The talking/doing thing reminds me of you at Get Fit Slowly- before you were just talking, now you’re doing.
My main problem is that I forget my non-main projects and neither talk about them nor do them!
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Oops, I also meant to say: your decision tree seems too harsh. All five of those conditions will rarely be met (and if they are, it will be at the end of the day!) I would settle for 4/5.
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