“Does this shirt make me look fat?” I asked Kris the other day. I was trying on clothes as I packed for our upcoming vacation in France and Italy. I want to limit myself to just four or five shirts for the trip. (Truly light packers would probably only take two shirts.)
“Well,” Kris said. “It’s not that the shirt makes you look fat. It’s just way too big on you. It looks like a tent. Most of your shirts are like that now.”
I laughed because I knew she was right. It’s great that I’ve lost 35 pounds so far this year (with another 15 pounds until I reach my goal), but one side effect is that my clothes don’t fit very well anymore.
I have three lovely cotton t-shirts, for example, that I bought from Costco in March. They’re heathered earth tones, which are perfect for me. (I’m a heathered earth tones kind of guy.) If these shirts still fit, I’d wear them all the time. But they don’t fit anymore. When I wear one, I look like I’m under sail! Ahoy!
The truth is, it’s time for me to buy some new clothes. I’m no longer an extra-large; I’m a medium. So, today I bit the bullet: I went clothes shopping…and not at a thrift store.
Shopping with Confidence
I’ve always purchased my clothes at one of two places: Costco or a thrift store. For years, I took the shotgun approach to clothes shopping. I’d buy a bunch of cheap stuff in the hopes that one or two items would see regular use. This worked — sort of. Using this method did let me find pieces of clothing I’d wear all the time, but it also gave me a closet full of junk.
I recently spent an entire year sorting through my clothes closet. For twelve full months, I noted which shirts I wore. At the end of the project, I purged anything that hadn’t been used. When I shared this story in May, I didn’t really know what lessons to draw from it. But over the past few months, I’ve realized the project taught me a lot, both on a micro level and a macro level.
On the micro level, I discovered that it’s possible to buy good-quality new clothes without worrying I’ll never wear them. The key is to look at what I already wear.
The clothes I kept after my year-long wardrobe project all had similar features. Namely, they were mostly “classic” items that will always be in style. I had a lot of formerly fashionable clothes in my closet (well, as fashionable as I get anyhow), but I rarely wore them. I didn’t wear patterned shirts, either, or clothes with words and logos. I favored plain clothes, especially those in a single solid color. (I like plaids, too, but Kris doesn’t, so I’m trying to keep those to a minimum.)
I also found I tended to like synthetics instead of natural fibers. Heresy, I know, but when I go to my closet, I skip over the clothes with wrinkles. I go for the things I can just pull out and wear.
Understanding these things about me makes a difference in the way I shop for clothes. In fact, this self-awareness made it possible for me to go buy new pants and shirts today without worry that they’ll just end up closet clutter. I shied away from shirts with patterns, sticking to solid colors instead. Because I know how much I’ve worn my $8 pair of zip-off pants over the past five years, I had no qualms spending $65 for a brand-new pair. (Although I’d obviously have preferred to get another pair for $8.)
My wardrobe project has taught me that it’s possible to shop for new clothes wisely. But it taught me something about the Big Picture, as well.
The Clean Slate
Last week, Adam Baker interviewed me for his Sell Your Crap project. After we talked a bit about my clothes purge, he made an interesting observation.
Baker pointed out that what I’d done with my clothes was essentially create a “clean slate” and then gradually add things into my life. He said that most of the time, we have a tendency to try to reduce clutter by taking things away from the entire population of Stuff we own. I guess you could say the usual approach is “subtractive” (we de-clutter by taking stuff away) and my closet project was “additive” (I started with nothing and then added until I reached a pre-determined limit).
Hearing Adam say this produced a big Aha! moment for me.
Most of the time, I’m one of those who uses the subtractive approach to de-clutter. I want to keep taking things out of my life until I somehow reach just the right level of Stuff — whatever that might be. The problem is, I never seem to reach that level.
What if instead I found a way to use the additive approach, but on a large scale? Is there a way to do a complete clean sweep of all my Stuff and then gradually add things back in? What about using this approach with my time?
This reminds me of my Man Room. When we moved into our house six years ago, we had one room downstairs that was essentially unused. We didn’t have any furniture for it. For years, it was just sort of a holding area for the Stuff that didn’t have any other place to live. Last year, we bought some new furniture for the room — but we only bought the essentials. For the past twelve months, I’ve been disciplined about not allowing extra Stuff to creep into my Man Room (or den, if you prefer).
I also think about what I call my Dream Apartment. Despite living in our dream house, I have a fantasy of moving to an apartment or condo in downtown Portland. For the past few months, I’ve been using Evernote to collect things that would go in the Dream Apartment (example). When I imagine the space, it’s very spartan; there’s very little there. Only the necessities.
I told Kris about this the other day, and she just laughed. “You could never do it,” she said. “Look at all the Stuff you have in the house we have. Where would it all live in your Dream Apartment?”
She’s right, of course — Kris Gates is always right — but still…a part of me would love the opportunity to move just so I could start over using the clean slate approach. I’d love to get a new place, and just have it sit empty for a couple of weeks while I get a feel for it. Then I’d add just a few things at a time.
My friend Sparky used to live like that. He owned almost nothing. And while I don’t aspire to his level of non-attachment, I often think about how little he needed to get by. I think about how little I need to take with me when I travel. I wonder what it would be like to start with a clean slate — and keep it clean. Could I do it? I don’t know, but I’d love to try.
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This reminds me of a method I’ve heard of for de-cluttering workspaces. Take all your items and put them in a shoebox (or some container it’ll all fit in). When you need to use an item take it out of the box, find a place for it in the workspace. Be sure to only do this if you use the item, not if you think you might need to use it sometime in the future.
At the end of a certain amount of time (let’s say a month), anything left in the shoebox is Stuff You Don’t Need and can be cleared out.
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J.D.,
First and foremost, congratulations on your substantial weight-loss! I know from personal experience (lost 70lbs a few years back) that this is a quest attempted by many but completed by few.
Secondly, I see no hang-ups about your purchasing of quality clothing given the stage you have now achieved in personal finance as long as you are quite comfortable with your purchases and don’t experience any “post-purchase regret”.
Thirdly (and surpisingly) it was THIS very same blog, and you yourself, that taught me as a young man (I began reading GRS at 21, I am now 25) that I DO infact have enough. After going through the mad purchasing early-20′s stage of buying name-brands and constant, endless accessories, I have got to the point in life where I feel I have all of the physical needs to survive, and all of the “wants” are nice as concepts to entertain, but are truly not necessary.
What I now truly need are savings and the end of my debt in order to secure a genuinely content financial future.
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Hi J.D.
Way to go on the weight loss. Losing weight is always a great reason to have to buy new clothes.
One of the best pieces of advice I ever received (and it was only recently) was the importance of buying clothes that fit well versus buying the size we’d like to be. Getting clothes that fit well versus the tent-shirts, pants that may be a bit too short, jeans that are a bit too loose, etc. makes all the difference in the world – more so than color, style or quantity, IMO.
I think we eventually avoid wearing things that don’t fit well, which explains why we end up with a lot of clothes just sitting in the closet, adding to the list of “stuff”.
50 lbs? and 15 more? Great going! You may have to go shopping again!
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This additive clean slate project with clothes is great, not just from a personal finance stance, but from a fashion stance, and ease of dressing yourself in the morning. I am actually going through it myself right now.
Many fashion blogs and books I’ve read urge people to develop their own style, or “uniform”– pick something that you like wearing and looks good on you, and just buy multiples (not of the exact same thing, necessarily, but of the same type thing). Not only does this cut out the clutter of things you never wear, but it helps in the morning when you know that your uniform is (for example) slacks, a nice t, a cardigan, and a necklace.
I am so happy when things I am trying to do in my life get picked up on my favorite blogs! What a nice coincidence.
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J.D. – I can relate to your clothes looking too big. Not because I had a weight problem, but for whatever reason (I think it was the 90s), when I was in high school all the clothes I bought for myself were really big and didn’t fit me. Over the last two years my wife has finally convinced me that I should wear clothes that actually fit. Anyway…
That is a great concept of adding back instead of taking away. It is probably much less overwhelming as well. You do not have the thought of “well, I might need this someday.” Since you are adding back you only add what you need.
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Congrats on the weight loss! I can say from experience it’s a lot more fun to shop when you’ve lost weight than when you’ve gained it.
Of course, the last time I went on a big shopping spree (with an amateur personal shopper, even) because all of my clothing was too big, I found out I was pregnant the next day. Some of those shirts still cannot be worn.
We’ve moved so much that I’m kind of used to getting rid of stuff (except books) and starting mostly from scratch. I think that’s why I hate bric a brac and have resisted buying things even though our place is huge. The in-laws keep trying to fill in that gap on our behalf.
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Thanks for posting this. My husband and I started a fitness/weight loss program in January of this year. He lost 25 lbs, I’ve lost 30 lbs, with about 8 more to go. I’ve dropped from a size 12/14 to a 6/8. I usually can wear jeans, etc. to work and my thrift store finds have been great for that, but I did have to bite the bullet and replace my entire “professional” wardrobe (for meetings and conferences). This was incredibly expensive (I got everything on sale or at TJ Maxx, but still!), but it gave me an opportunity to do something similar to what you did- everything I bought was classic and black and works together, I can switch out shirts. I just finished a week long trip to a professional conference and it was much easier packing and getting ready every day b/c I spent so much time making sure that the items that I had- since I was starting from a clean slate- went together. I still feel guilty about spending the money, but I’m sure that these pieces will see lots of wear in the coming years.
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I used to watch a show where they completely emptied a couple rooms, put up a big garage sale, and either sold or donated the majority of items. Only the bare essentials went back in the room. That is something I need to do. However, I need to add things that would make the room more functional. However, with all the other stuff around, I can’t quite see the ‘purpose’ of the room.
With your weight loss, you need to add and subtract. Get rid of some of the tents, and add some clothes that will fit. It is great that you really evaluated what both you and your wife like instead of wasting money on things that might be inexpensive, but still will never be worn. (Therefore, not so cheap after all.) I need to do a major purge now that my kids are teenagers. I still have some items that I know need to go from their earlier years, but it is like that have moved through the different stages of their lives, but I haven’t kept up with how they have changed. (In terms of what I still have in the basement.) Once it is cleared, I can then add things that are functional for the age they are it.
Thanks for the motivation!
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Great job on the scale committement, and it’s a very solid outcome of a purge “additive” style, I like this idea. As someone who had once lost 60 pounds, shopping for clothes at better stores makes more sense when those clothes fit than when you are an elephant (then, K-Mart does just fine). And with prices it ensures you only purchase what you really need. Well, at least it works this way for me:)
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I was looking at pictures of director David Lynch’s astonishingly beautiful and minimalist house. Wow! And wished I had the amazing discipline to live like that. When I read the article, it talked about how he had a large storage area elsewhere and moved things in and out of the house as needed or desired.
I later learned that this is a common solution for living in a minimalist house. Oh, well.
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Your first line made me laugh, JD. I worked in Men’s at Nordstrom for ten years. When people asked why I chose the Men’s areas, I always replied “Because men don’t ask ‘Does this make my butt look big?”
Congratulations on the weight loss. You’re truly adding years to your life. My mom lost 80 pounds when she was in her seventies and diabetic. Her insulin needs have now been reduced by 90%. Her biggest regret is that she didn’t do it sooner. She hit 80 this year and she’s still going strong.
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I liked your “aha!” moment about changing your thinking from always subtracting to staring over and adding. Judging from the fact that there are at least 10 boxes of comics in my game room waiting to be sorted and sold on eBay, I’ve definitely identified with your blog over the past few years.
At one point in my collecting, I was really into comic related statues and busts. One day I realized it was getting too expensive, and my girlfriend (now wife) probably wouldn’t care for me to continue this expensive and selfish habit of collecting these things. Also, I wasn’t receiving as much joy in looking at them on the shelf as I once did when searching for and buying them.
At that time, I had a similar thought as you and said that right now, these are providing me with little joy and are worth nothing to me. Therefore, whatever I can sell them for is a plus, because to me, they’re worth zero dollars rather than what I paid for them.
So instead of viewing the purge as a chore where I was “losing money,” it was a pleasant “surprise” to see that I made some money that I didn’t currently have.
Adding. Subtracting. It’s all in your perception and outlook on the fight against Stuff.
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Isn’t it interesting about how our ‘fantasies’ change as we get older?
I am about your age, J.D., and often imagine moving to a new place just so I can unload all the crap I’ve collected over the past 20 years!!
My closets and kitchen are in good shape but the basement is full of sporting equipment, board games, books and holiday decorations that rarely see the light of day. (But, of course, they’re all ‘still good’ and ‘getting rid of them would be a waste’ because I might ‘need/want them someday!’ Ugh!
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This article reminds me of the 6 Items or Less experiment. Everyone chose 6 items of clothing and thats all they could wear for a month. (Underwear didn’t count!) What was so fascinating, is that in almost every case, no one noticed! Almost every woman had very positive and liberating experiences from it. The men almost universally discovered exactly the same thing as JD, that the quality was important to them.
http://sixitemsorless.com/
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I got the clean slate, JD. Last fall a 31 inch water main broke and our apartment had about a foot and a half of water throughout. We lost a lot of our possessions and were displaced for five months.
Once we did get our salvaged clothing back (most furniture and all appliances were a total loss), we purged probably 1/2 to 2/3 of what came back in (some weren’t so salvaged after all and others we had not missed in the least). We live in Boston where space is at a premium and if we didn’t miss the stuff, out it went.
It hasn’t returned.
I don’t recommend a flood to get you to zero but if you can see your way there sans disaster it’s eye opening.
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About your shirts – you can still wear them on your trip. When I travel overseas, I wear clothes that no longer fit. When I’m done wearing them, I throw them away – which means I have more room in my suitcase for things to bring home with me!
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I also want to point out that the clothes I throw away aren’t useful to *anyone* (I donate clothes that no longer fit, but are still in good condition).
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My wife has an effective method to her shopping – before she buys a particular piece of clothing, she figures out in her head what existing piece she will have to get rid of. Her closet is very organized, not much that she does not use on a regular basis. Of course it take a bit longer to make those shopping decisions as she has to be sure what she is adding is better than what she will have to subtract!
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Hey J.D. — Just wanted to say that I love your blog. I actually blog about something completey different (sex in marriage), but a fellow marriage blogger alerted me to your blog and I am grateful he did!
My husband and I are fairly frugal (except for the occassional cup of ridiculously overpriced coffee, but I digress). We have recently started having a monthly money meeting, which has really helped us get more comfortable just talking about money.
Anyway, I appreciate your realness…your humor… your humility… keep up the great work! Julie Sibert
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I’m not surprised to hear you love flannel…are you not from Portland area, home of the grunge movement? It’s a bit like the old hippies who continue to wear beads and tie-dye. You’ll be wanting to wear flannel and hiking boots the rest of your life!
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Wow that video was great! I mean, your post was good too, but I was truly amazed by the space-saving furniture. Especially the full bed that folded on top of the table (but didn’t crush the stuff on the table). Kind of like an extreme version of Ikea.
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Congrats on nearing your goal weight! Even though it was forced by a lack of things that fit, I’m glad you’re treating yourself to a few things that reflect the size medium J.D.
I’ve been doing something similar since purging my closet–looking at what I wear and what actually looks good on me and creating a few unwritten rules for adding things to my closet.
For example, horizontal stripes. Love the look, but not on me, so after buying shirts like that in the past that never left the closet, one rule of mine is no horizontal stripes.
It sounds restricting to have rules, but when I break them, I waste money. Maybe I *should* write them down.
I also have thought about what it would be like to wipe the slate clean, usually I think about it a lot when backpacking through the desert. We don’t have too much Stuff because our place is small and we don’t have a garage, but I’m trying to purge as much as I can, a little at a time, so that once our house is built we aren’t carting Stuff into our new home.
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Dont’ forget about Ross stores. Great quality brand names that you can get for the same price as so-so brands at department stores. Especially shirts.
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Nice job on the weight loss, JD. XL to medium is quite a change. I went from L to M a few years ago and it was fun slowly replacing my clothes. I have similar tastes to you – solid colors, basics like khakis, jeans, etc.
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we recently went on a vacation by car, so packing light wasn’t as great a concern. Even though I didn’t wear everything I brought with me, it was a kind of added luxury that I could open the closet in the hotel and see that I had a lot of interesting choices, no matter what the weather was or what we chose to do.
The same thing is true at home — I like having enough clothes that if I don’t do the laundry for whatever reason there’s no problem!
And yet, the pull toward simplicity and less is a strong one –and I’m definitely finding that I don’t buy as much as I did when I was younger.
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This space-efficient furniture is making me dream. I love small, efficient places. I now want a place filled with furniture like that!
(Well, not TOO filled, of course)
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JD – you and I started losing weight about the same time (35 pounds as well) and wow – I feel like a new man! All my clothes look ridiculous now as well haha!
My wife and I moved from the “house with tons of Stuff it it” to the apartment in the city. I LOVE it. Actually as my lifestyle changed (I lost weight and work out a lot now as well) I noticed I was spending less time in the house. There is something so wonderful after engaging the world all day (working, eating with friends, exercising, playing tennis etc.) to come home to a minimalist living space. I enjoy it immensely.
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On a bit of a tangent: A friend of mine, when she lost weight, took the pants that she had and loved to a tailor who made them fit her again and again. Not necessarily cost effective for things like T-shirts but will work well with some items.
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It’s true there is NOTHING like moving to make you question everything you own. I stored kitchen stuff in a friend’s basement for a few years and when I finally finally opened it, I promptly got rid of half of it.
I used to move pretty regularly (9 moves in 13 years, two of them to new states), and now that I’ve been in the same apartment for *gasp* four years, I’m starting to feel oppressed by the stuff I haven’t been forced to winnow. Lucky for me, I guess, I’m in a one-bedroom apartment without a storage unit, so I’m fairly limited on my accumulation!
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I told Kris about this the other day, and she just laughed. “You could never do it,” she said. “Look at all the Stuff you have in the house we have. Where would it all live in your Dream Apartment?”
Once you have the space, you are going to find a way to fill it. That’s human nature.
Deny yourself the space and you will find you don’t “need” so much stuff.
Your ongoing story about losing weight makes me jealous and also gives me hope. Don’t fall back!
Rob
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Congrats on the weight loss!
I truly do not own any pieces of clothing that I don’t like and wear!
I have gone from a size 12 to a size 8 this year (and can SQUEEZE in a 6 – tho not appropriate for public viewing!!)
I have had to buy clothes for each new size (of course all from thrift stores, keeping with my challenge to only buy second hand this year) and only bringing in pieces I LOVE has been incredibly liberating
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I have developed plantar faciitis (sp?) and am in the process of totally redoing my very large shoe wardrobe (80+ pairs – many passed down from a fashion-aholic SIL). I refuse to any longer wear any shoe that is not completely comfortable or that cannot accomodate my new orthotics. After trying on at least 20 different pairs of shoes, I’ve only purchased two. I still can’t find any dress shoes, and I’m starting to worry that Zappos will cut me off for abusing their free shipping on returns!
Congrats on your weight loss – my husband had to have an whole interim wardrobe when he lost 70 pounds. I gave away ALL his too big clothes in hopes it would keep him from regaining, but he’s put a good bit back on and has sneakily been buying new pants!
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Haha, Man Room. I can almost hear you grunt like Tim Taylor from Home Improvement talking about some power tool!
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I had the “Dream Apartment” for a while before I was married, except it was in San Francisco instead of Portland. Check out my minimalist workspace from back then: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tylerkaraszewski/482953654/ The whole place was like that. I thought it looked fantastic. It turns out though, I don’t think it had much bearing on my happiness or well-being.
The place I’m in now is more cluttered than my old apartment. I’m married now, so it almost has to be, since there are twice as many people living in it, but it really doesn’t bother me. I don’t feel oppressed by the stuff I do have, and I didn’t feel freed by the stuff I didn’t have before.
I think the minimalist movement, in an effort to combat consumerism, attaches too much value to “stuff”, just like consumerism does, except with opposite weighting. Where a consumerist might have a DVD collection and give each DVD some level of value, say X consumerist points, a minimalist will look at the same DVD collection, and give each DVD essentially the same value, but now it’s got -X minimalist points. The two units are the same except multiplied by -1.
I’ve found for me, personally, the value of a DVD is pretty close to 0. It doesn’t make me feel like a better collector to own it, and it doesn’t make me feel light and free and minimalistic *not* to own it. The influence that “stuff” has over me is just really not that high (by absolute value).
An interesting thought experiment on minimalism is to consider minimalism in a more natural setting. Imagine you bought 50 acres of forest and were going to build a house on it, according to your minimalist values. Do you cut down all the trees on your forest, minimizing the amount of “stuff” in the landscape? Probably not, but that’s what we do when we turn our houses upside down discarding everything in pursuit of minimalism. What do you really do? You probably cut just enough trees to make room for the house you want to build. You’re looking for minimum disruption, minimum disturbance, minimum exertion, not minimum “stuff”. It seems to me someone (a true minimalist?) could look at a DVD collection and consider it the same as a rock in the forest — just part of the landscape, with no inherent effect on his state of mind. It all depends on what you want to minimize.
Frank Lloyd Wright’s design aesthetic (which is what much of what many of us mean when we talk about minimalism) is beautiful, but maybe not as important to your overall well-being as you might imagine. I found that, for me at least, that is the case. The biggest influences on how I feel are not the presence or absence of things, but my interactions with others, the activities I participate in, and the ideas I think about. The box of old books taking up space in the loft really doesn’t have so much influence.
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Tyler K. wrote: I think the minimalist movement, in an effort to combat consumerism, attaches too much value to “stuff”, just like consumerism does, except with opposite weighting.
I really like this observation. It’s true.
I don’t necessarily agree that all Stuff has a net value of zero. Maybe it does for Tyler, but I think there are very real financial, emotional, and psychological costs and benefits associated with everything we own. It’s finding balance that’s important.
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I admire minamilist spaces, but I never choose to live in them because I like having my things around me. Everything is neatly organized so I don’t perceive it as clutter. I do very vigorously weed things out at least twice a year though, when things start to feel out of balance, but I will never be a minimalist.
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@J.D.
Interesting counterpoint. It made me think of this:
One definition of “Stuff” could be that it has a useful value, for it’s current owner, of zero or less (ignoring resale value, and “less” implying some cost to keeping it).
If it had value to you, you’d use it. It wouldn’t just be clutter, it’d be important to you. This is why old clothes that haven’t left your closet in years are “Stuff”, but the pair of shoes you wear every day isn’t.
Some of these things may have significant value to other people, and if they do, you might as well sell them. You may no longer need an old VCR, but to someone else it may be really useful — it wouldn’t be “Stuff” to him.
I also think that at least *some* of the stuff we own has no emotional or psychological cost nor benefit to us at all. As an example:
There are things that we own that we don’t even realize we own. Many people could crawl into the back of their attic and find things that they’d long since forgotten about, or things that they don’t even know how they got there. Imagine finding an old record player in your attic and thinking, “Where’d this come from? I don’t remember having a record player.” It’s not that far-fetched, I’ve done similar things. I’ve seen other people do it several times. I don’t see how you could argue that five minutes before you climbed into the attic, the record player had any significant emotional or psychological effect.
But anyway…
What all this means to imply is that the value (or ongoing cost) of any particular item depends upon both the item and its owner. Some items for some people have extremely high value (say, an avid cyclist’s bicycle). Some items for some people have extremely high costs (say, a “project car” taking up an entire garage for someone who’s lost interest in the project). But may other items have very little value either way (say, a DVD for a mediocre movie you’ve already seen).
Getting rid of the car would be a great benefit in terms of freeing up the garage. Getting rid of the bike would be a detriment to both the fitness and the happiness of its rider. Getting rid of the DVD? It probably makes little difference either way. So, not *all* stuff has a net value near zero, but *some* stuff does.
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@Tyler
Yes, I think your analysis of Stuff is on target. For me, Stuff includes the things I own that now have a negative carrying cost. (A net negative when considering financial and mental factors.) So, that old electronic chess game in the garage? That’s Stuff. It clutters my life. My iPad? Not Stuff. At least, not yet. My Nintendo Wii? That used to not be Stuff, but it’s pretty much a wash nowadays.
What is and is not Stuff is personal, and changes with time. But not all things are Stuff.
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We just moved from a house with 3200 sq ft of space to one with 1000 sq ft. It was a conscious decision on our part to downsize, and we got rid of lots and lots of Stuff before the move. Now we’ve unpacked the things we actually need, and there are still large piles of boxes full of things I don’t think I would miss if they just disappeared overnight!
We clearly need to pare down our Stuff even more, and I think it’s going to be a lot harder this time, as we’ve already gotten rid of the easy stuff.
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Hey J.D, thank you so much for posting that link with the design video- that furniture is amazing!
I’m about to become a design (ceramic, but hey) student at Central St Martins and I’m very interested in minimal living. Not living with a minimum of stuff but with a minimum of space. As our cities get more and more crowded, I think people will have to get used to living in Micro-flats instead of spacious apartments or houses. It’s fascinating to see how good design can make someone’s home more functional in less room.
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This is a constant battle for me. I feel like I am always purging things from my house. I do feel like I am making progress because I have less to purge each time. However, there always seems to be something. Right now, I really need to tackle my closet and dresser. I lost 35 lbs. 2 1/2 years ago. All the clothes I have bought since then are the right size and I have gotten rid of a ton of stuff that isn’t. So then why do I have 10 turtlenecks in my closet that are size large? I live in North Carolina…I wear a turtleneck maybe twice a year. I should get rid of all the ones that don’t fit me and replace them with one or two that fit me right. In fact…I am going to stop thinking about doing that and go upstairs and do it right now…
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I moved across the country with only what would fit in my car. Since then I’ve realized that some of the things I brought weren’t as important as I thought they would be, and that I wish I had pared some of that down to bring some other things I ended up having to leave behind (I miss my KitchanAide stand mixer, and the extra blankets and box of sweaters could have been shipped to me a little at a time–live and learn).
So a suggestion for someone who has the opportunity to move a long way away:
If you have the ability to store your things somewhere and put someone else in charge of them, do it. Set a limit of 1 year (so you get all seasons) in your new place, for them to send you things as you request them–BONUS TIP: Take a picture of EVERYTHING as you pack it up before you move, and try to make a list of what box has what. Organize it somehow so when you say “hey mom I need some sweaters,” she can go to the “box of sweaters that fit right now” and pull some out. Alternatively, you can email them a picture and say “I need this sweater, should be in x box.”
As you’re packing, you want to keep in mind: What will you need right away? What out-of-season clothes can be shipped to you? (Shipping clothes is the easiest & cheapest thing, take as few as possible to get by!) What things are too heavy to ship, and/or not something you would want to buy again? (I left my cast iron pans, but I got a new-to-me set for less that it would cost to ship them out to me–I had my brother, friends and cousins divvy them up last week). If you’re planning on “living homeless”/couch surfing for a little while, but plan to get your own apartment, what will you do with those items you don’t need right away? (I was living in my car & couch surfing for a while, I just threw everything in a cheap tiny storage unit. Now that I am moving into my own apartment I have what I consider to be house-essentials that were already covered in the places I was staying, but even after considering the storage cost I saved myself money by not having those items shipped to me or having to buy them new.)
Have a plan for what to do with those items at the end of that year. Will you have a chance to fly/drive back to grab any more things before that year is up? Does the person have the ability to run a garage sale/sell the stuff? How will you divide any profits made from the sale? (I made this move on short notice and didn’t have the chance to properly organize my stuff before I left. I’ll be taking two days when I go back over christmas to purge a bunch of stuff and pack the rest properly, and find a way to get my kitchenaid and sewing machine sent to me safely and cheaply.)
Making a big move that requires you to start with a clean slate can be great. I’m actually feeling much freed from my clothes-horse habit by having clothes that fit, and not being overwhelmed with a bunch of stuff I don’t wear anymore but can’t get rid of. I have a plan in place to use some of those clothes for some other projects now–turning an old top sheet into a pillow case for my body pillow, using some of the rest of it for crafty projects around the house and some that I’d like to sell to make some extra cash.
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I find that when I spend a decent bit of money on a classic item of clothing it also keeps me from gaining weight! I refuse to buy one more classic pair of black pants until these wear out so I have to keep fitting into them until then. It’s a bonus deal
Keep up the good work on the war on stuff!
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I got a clean slate a few years back. Five years to be specific. I thought I was going to be taking a brief evacu-cation, but when I finally returned (only for a couple of hours) to my apartment, I discovered that it had been inundated with 5.5 ft. of water (it had 6.5 ft. ceilings). The only things that had not been ruined by flood waters were 2 or 3 pairs of khaki shorts, a pair of tennis shoes and a pair of boots, a few polos, my car, my laptop, end every sock I owned (I had just done laundry and the socks never got un-packed from my car). Every other thing I owned was underwater. a few things like some bar glasses were salvageable, but nothing of any consequence.
The story of my wardrobe since that incident is one of the problem with a clean slate. Since then, I’ve never had enough clothes. I stocked up on a few cheap items in the weeks after the storm, but the cheap was not only a reflection of the price; it was also a reflection of the quality. I try to buy new clothes, but the rate I buy new ones seems to match the rate that old ones wear out, get ruined, or get damaged. Also, the fact that I only settle for quality clothing now makes acquisition not inexpensive.
A clean slate can be liberating, but it can also be a challenge.
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an interesting thing about stuff: my parents moved from the house I grew up in into a very small 3 bedroom rental (as in, tiny rooms). They got rid of some but not much — mostly, they ended up filling their garage and a big storage unit. So they ended up buying a 4,000 square foot house. At the time, I was aghast — the house I grew up in was 3,000 sq ft and definitely too much once the kids were gone.
However, they’ve shown me wrong. They love how spacious and airy their house is. As they are unpacking, they are purging TONS. Their hope is to live in this lovely house (overlooking the Columbia) for another 3-4 years as they purge, sort, and arrange. Then, they would like to move into a small condo in Portland.
Sometimes, people need that transition space. We’d lived so long in the house I grew up in that things just seemed fixed there, and it was difficult for them to get rid of stuff. now that they’ve got this total blank canvas, they are taking the time and space to sort through things. I’m going home for 2 weeks for Christmas, and I can’t wait to finish sorting through the last of my boxes I have there.
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When I go on a trip.. i take old clothes.. (even underwear and old shoes) and toss them daily. There is no washing clothes when i get home and i have room in the suitcase to bring stuff back!
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Way to go! I can relate – today I went shopping for the first time in ages today because I have a Big Job Interview coming up, I own no suits, and even my nice cloths are just too big (I’ve lost about 25 lbs, with about another 50-60 to go). For me, this was a maddening and unproductive experience. I’m hard to fit, fussy, and live in a small town without many shops. But it hit me that my “nice pants” that are now too big are over 10 years old. I paid a lot for them, but they were worth it. Classic are.
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I like watching House Hunters and International House Hunters but it drives me up the wall when they look a space and say “Our furniture would/would not fit in here”. It is as if they never consider if they’re buying a house or a place for their stuff. Plus I’m going to guess the house is more expensive than their stuff.
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Reeder (#48) – I thought I was the only one that had that thought. Really…unless it is sentimental for some reason (a family piece etc.) then you can purge furniture easily. I would rather have a place with the perfect location and amenities and have to shift around furniture than buy a place that my furniture fits in.
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@ 48 and 49 – absolutely. Especially when you see the “after” bit at the end, with all their stuff moved in, and you see what generic crap it is! I think, for THIS they turned down the nicer house?
Clean Slate: this is what I want to try with DH and the Home Office of Doom. Take everything out, and put it all through a stringent test before it’s allowed back in.
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