Ask the Readers: Is It Okay to Buy a Christmas Gift from a Thrift Store?
Published on - December 10th, 2010 (by J.D. Roth) The holiday season can test a frugal person’s patience: There are so many temptations to spend. Sure, we all want to enjoy the festive nature this time of year, but where do you draw the line? And how fugal is too frugal?
Michelle wrote with a terrific question. She has the sort of dilemma I can picture myself facing. Here’s her story:
Like you, I am a big proponent of thrift store shopping. It saves money, and it’s just more fun going to the mall — at least for me. Because I live in the New York City area, I’m fortunate in that many of the area thrift stores are filled with fantastic stuff, including designer and name-brand quality clothes, many of which are barely worn.
On a recent thrift-store trip, I picked up two designer handbags as Christmas gifts for my college-aged nieces, but now I’m having second thoughts.
- On the one hand, there’s no way they would ever really acquire Coach and Kate Spade handbags on their own.
- On the other hand, I don’t know if they share my acceptance and love for thrifting, and they may not react well to the thought of being gifted someone else’s cast-offs.
Since new versions of these bags are clearly out my budget, there’s no way to pass these things off as anything other than second-hand. What do you think? Is it tacky to purchase gifts at a thrift store?
My initial response to Michelle’s question is that of course it’s okay to purchase gifts at a thrift store — I do it all the time! But maybe that’s because of the way my family has set up its gift exchange.
In my family, adults exchange $5 gifts: Each of us buys something costing no more than five bucks for every other adult. This arbitrary budget forces folks to get creative. And because of that, thrift stores are actually a fantastic place to find presents. Garage sales, too. (And I’ve spent many hours trolling Amazon for fun bargains.)
Here’s my favorite example: Several years ago, I found a set of nice drafting pens for ten bucks at a garage sale. My brother used to draw house plans (though he no longer does), and I thought these would make a great Christmas gift. I haggled the price down to five bucks. Back home, I researched the actual price for the pens. They normally sold for about $70. Score! (I’m not sure if Jeff has ever used them, but this is the best $5 gift I’ve ever given.)
Obviously, not everyone is in a situation where giving bargain buys from garage sales and thrift stores is socially acceptable. But I’m willing to wager that there are plenty of people out there for whom this sort of thing is okay, at least to some degree.
But this is the sort of question where I definitely need to poll a wider audience. Not everyone shares my love of buying used. In fact, many GRS readers deplore thrift stores. Instead of steering Michelle down my own (possibly misguided) path, it’s probably best to field responses from a variety of perspectives.
What do you think? When is it okay to purchase gifts from a thrift store? Is it always okay? Never okay? And what about Michelle’s specific situation: Should she feel any shame in giving used designer handbags to her nieces this Christmas?
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My feeling is that it’s not great to give someone a used gift. It’s more than okay to go do shopping at a thrift store normally, but it might not come off the right way.
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I agree – college-age girls, like-new designer handbags at bargain prices = win/win. Also a good idea to mention to their folks, if this isn’t an established type of thing in your/their family. If asking the parents doesn’t pan out, I would take Thrifty Advocate’s advice about giving them but telling them straight up where you got them. “I saw them and thought, ‘Wow – these are like new, and Amy and Jill would look sooo awesome with them!’” If they don’t like them, maybe get them something else, and sell those bags for top dollar on eBay!
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I’m generally not a fan of activism-by-gifting, but I think getting someone something from a thrift store sends a good message about consumerism. And honestly, if people are going to be super picky about where I get their gifts or how much I spend, I probably won’t bother again
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I hate that we live in a world where a designer name is so important. I kind of think it’s teaching materialism to the girls, even though they were cheap and used. It makes it seem like it’s really important to have name brand.
Definitely agree with other readers about no used clothing!
I’m torn too because I think balancing a simple life with saving money and still having nice things is difficult.
I’d just be sad to see the girls get hooked on name brand so early in life and then not have the wits about them to get good deals and go into debt in the future to keep having higher quality products. So, I see the benefit of teaching them frugality but what if they miss that point…
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Why on earth would you be concerned over whether someone would find your Christmas gift acceptable? Its a gift! On Christmas!
I’ve always maintained that gifts are optional for all occasions. I have steadfastly refused to tell people about things I might want for Christmas.
Growing up my grandparents were not even remotely wealthy. When I was about 12 I was given a small plastic cow as a Christmas gift from them. I still smiled and said thank you, and just the mention or the thought of the cow makes me smile, bringing back good memories of Christmas’ past.
Dont worry about whether they will “accept” the gift or not. Anyone worth buying a gift for will be polite and publicly grateful even if they never use the handbag.
Besides, most of know that its more fun to open gifts than it ever is to actually use them. =)
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Sorry, but no.
I think thrift store gifting is a-OK for small kids and adults, but not for tweens, teens, and early twenty-somethings who tend to rely on holidays as a chance to get nicer things they couldn’t normally afford.
Also, we’re talking college-aged girls. If they are the type that are into thrift stores, then they are likely not the type that are into designer brands, and vice-versa.
That said, I want to second that JC has a fantastic idea – use them as “wrappers” for other small items – and I think the girls will love them.
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It completely depends on the person, and I’d see if you can ask their parents what they think.
Either way though, I think they will appreciate that you got them something you thought they would love instead of just getting them any old thing.
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i have to disagree with the majority of commenters here… i guess i’m spoiled but i would be horrified if someone gave me used thrift-shop purses and would probably spend the rest of the day crying (i get a little too upset over poorly-chosen gifts sometimes). my first thought would be if money is that tight that you’re gift shopping in thrift stores instead of proper stores, why couldn’t you have gotten something less expensive but new?
used purses and hand-me-downs are one thing if they’re in the family- mom to daughter, sister to sister, but i would be very unthrilled if someone gifted me a thrift store bag, used for who knows how long by some stranger. it would go right back to salvation army the next day, no question about it.
this is also clothing & accessories-centric. refurb ipods and vintage records can be great gifts, but dusty old purses from the salvation army would make me very unhappy. i know this makes me sound spoiled and awful, but i’m just being honest.
in my very small defense: i never buy used gifts for friends & family, unless it’s something like vintage records. i regularly pass over less-expensive used items in amazon to buy them shrink-wrapped and new for other people. i have no problem with buying used items for myself, but if it’s a big holiday gift i try and buy new whenever humanely possible.
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i think it’s fine, if you can just put any items in a bag in the freezer for a few days first so you don’t accidentally give them several creepy crawly extra gifts like bedbugs.
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It’s interesting to try and figure out where certain things stand on the continuum of “used” (unacceptable as a gift) to “vintage” (acceptable some of the time) to “antique” (ALWAYS acceptable as a gift) !
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@48 cc
I have a solution for you that will stop your tears! Give the items you receive as gifts but don’t want to the Salvation Army. Problem solved!
If the problem is you don’t want to actually physically touch said items, then that’s ok, you just use the wrapping paper or gift bag as a barrier between yourself and the offending item.
Miss Manners is very clear on the etiquette of gift giving and receiving. No gift is obligatory. If a gift is given, then it should be accepted graciously. The giver can then do with the gift whatever he or she wishes. Thank goodness for free disposal.
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Quite an interesting question. I’ll admit my first response was, “Eww. No.”
I think I would be slightly offended by a thrift store gift. Now, as one poster said, if I had some type of rare dish collection or something and someone found a missing piece in a thrift store — that might be one thing. But generally speaking, giving or receiving a thrift store gift does not appeal to me.
Hearing “thrift store” to me conjures up an image of a musty store full of other people’s old junk … which does not scream “nice, thoughtful Christmas present” to me.
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I give second-hand gifts to my family and to close friends who share my values.
I think the Coach and Kate Spade bags are a great gift. These things can cost hundreds new, and, many Coach fans engage in swaps of these bags, anyway.
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I’d say YES YES YES!! You know there are websites like Bag Borrow Steal that have gotten publicity on major talk shows & seem to be socially acceptable – you pay a monthly fee to rent these designer handbags for as long as you want, then return for a different one. Kind of like Netflix for handbags. If that is socially acceptable (who knows how many people have used the bag before you rent it?) then WHY IS A THRIFT STORE NOT!? You get to keep the bag, and there was probably only one owner before you.
That said, the thing about clothes is you can wash them. Handbags you cannot. That might freak them out. I personally don’t buy handbags, shoes, or stuffed animals from thrift stores because I can’t be sure I can get them clean.
I know there’s a fine line between buying a gift that will please someone else and them not being a spoiled brat about something. If they like designer handbags then they should be THRILLED to get one, even if it came from the thrift store. But since I love thrift stores, I am prejudiced toward them, of course. And while I like nice things I don’t particularly care about designer labels.
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I think there’s two parts to the question. First, is it okay to buy gifts at a thrift store? Well, if the gift is appropriate for the recipient, then by all means there should be no problem with buying a gift there. (Although in this day and age of bedbug infestations, I might be more cautious with soft goods than I might have been in the past)
Second, will the recipient appreciate the gift, or will they feel slighted or insulted that their gift is “used”. That question is one that has to be answered on a case by case basis. For example, my son is thankfully a gracious recipient (for the most part). He would instantly look to say something nice to the giver, and let them know he appreciated their generosity. This has smoothed over many potentially embarrassing moments, such as the kindly elderly couple that tends to give him inedible, clearly re-gifted candies from past holidays. He always makes them feel like he loves their gift, even when we have to go home and throw out a clump of dusty, stale sugar, so there’s never an awkward moment for the couple.
In this instance, if the two nieces are generally gracious recipients, I would certainly give them the two handbags, although I would never try to pass them off as brand new. Even if they don’t care for the bag itself or feel weird about having a used purse, they should still be able to recognize that you were kind enough to think of them and looked to do something special.
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I love thrift stores myself, but I only like items that are to my taste. And there are an awful lot of terrible stuff for sale in thrift stores!
Just having a certain label isn’t a guarantee that a person will love it.
A relative got me an ugly & shrunken sweater at a thrift store once, and they were shocked that I didn’t love it because “look at the label!” But something ugly and tacky is just that, label or no label.
For the example of the bags, I think it could really backfire. If the nieces are really fashionistas, they will not only care about the label, but they will also care about the *style* of the Kate Spade or whatever bag. I doubt they’re going to just love, love, love it just because of the label unless they’re 10 years old, but if that was the case you could just get them anything shiny.
Unless they think you are the coolest Aunt ever style-wise, you’re wiser to just step away from the thrift stores and get them something from Penny’s they can exchange if they don’t like it.
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Well, are these bags the sorts of bags that your nieces would actually carry? In your question, all you mention is the name brands of these bags, but nothing about whether or not they fit into the style each of your nieces has developed. There are some really, really unattractive bags made by both companies, and both brands seem a little…middle aged? I’m not sure if they’re the sorts of bags college-aged women would carry — you might want to keep this in mind.
(I might be having a strong reaction here to the fact that my relatives buy things from thrift stores all the time because they’re from “a good brand,” regardless if they fit or if they’re something someone in the family would want. I have no qualms about getting second-hand stuff as gifts, but, as in all shopping, just because it was (originally) expensive, doesn’t mean it’s actually worth having…)
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I would say no. If they couldn’t return it if it breaks or is defective (the chances of finding another one in the same store seem very slim to me), then I don’t think it’s a good idea.
Thrift store shopping is great for yourself or your family, (and I would be fine with a used gift), but I know that most of my friends and family wouldn’t be okay with a used gift.
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I also have no problem giving or receiving gifts purchased used. My criteria is that it must be in great condition and all the pieces are there. It sounds like the designer purses fit that description. I usually will not buy clothes for gifts new or used. Everyone has their own idea of what they like. I do not want to get the wrong color, size, etc. But toys, games, DVDs, small appliances, household items yes sure why not. I also watch for clearance items all year long too. I have a shelf in the basement that all my finds go on and then I “shop” the shelf in Dec for gifts for everyone. Teacher, neighbor, friend, hostess gifts come from my shelf.
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a designer handbag from a thrift store is acceptable some people are weird about wearing other peoples clothes so maybe that’s not a good idea, but a handbag I think is perfectly acceptable
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@49, i regularly drop stuff off at salvation army, including many unwanted gifts, both new and used. i prefer the flow to go from me to thrift store, not the other way around.
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Yuck.
Has no one heard of bedbugs? Go online to some of the bedbug board discussions and you will see specific stories about people getting bedbugs from thrift stores.
Saving on a few dollars is not worth the potentinal headache and trauma of infesting your house and family with these pests.
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My best friend loves vintage items, and frequently buys them for me as gifts. Yes, they are really just higher-end used items, but I have loved very single thing she got me! Most of the items are purses and jewelry, never clothes (which I agree, would be a bit odd) but I think purses are totally fine!
I don’t see anything wrong with buying thrift store/consignment store/vintage store items for a gift, as long as the item is in very good condition and is something that you think the recipient would actually want and use.
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I don’t see a problem provided the bags are clean and not obviously a “last season” type (meaning way out of style…some of those bags go out of fashion SO fast!). My mom has a second-hand Prada, and she got a second-hand Coach for her friend…best gifts ever, since the bags are SUPER pricey new.
And, I got my niece a free second-hand Hokey-Pokey Elmo that is A – the best gift we’ve given her and B – her favorite Elmo (they’ve replaced the batteries about 10 times in less than a year).
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It sure beats my uncle giving me worthless lottery tickets every year.
This kind of gift giving is incredibly valuable. It’s a way of redistributing resources to people who can find value without another bag being reproduced. It’s frugal, it’s ecofriendly, and depending on the gift – trendy.
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Absolutely! I just found a great book for my husband at a thrift store this week. Got it for 35 cents. The book is out of print and selling on Amazon for $6.99 at the moment.
People buy used/like new books on Amazon all the time, so I don’t see any difference. Actually thrifting is better because you can see the condition of the item before buying.
For anyone who’s freaked out by thrift stores, a lot of the stuff you’re getting from the sellers on both Amazon and Ebay are bought at thrift shops for resale purposes. You just don’t know it (well, you didn’t until now! LOL). Nothing wrong with thrift shops. Plenty of new stuff with store tags still on them hanging on those racks. Anyone who gets the heebie jeebies thinking about it, take a walk through and peruse the products. You may be quite surprised at what you’ll find.
Also, as for buying new, do you think no one else has touched or tried on that shirt or pair of shoes you’re looking at in the mall?
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I’m with #4. Unless you know for sure the person is ok with thrift store gifts, give them something new for a holiday gift.
OTOH, if you aren’t sure I’d give it as a “hey, look what I found that I thought you might like!” gift-for-no-reason.
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I say go for it. As a lover of handbags I wouldn’t care if it came from a thirft store. I’m planning a trip to NY hoping to find better things in the vintage and thrift stores.
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First, while I agree that this is obviously a wider audience than just J.D.’s opinion, the website attracts the frugal and would-be frugal. So that needs to be kept in mind.
I definitely agree that you should talk to the girls’ parents and see what they think. It may be perfect (“She’s been talking about how much she wants a bag like her friends have, but it’s way too expensive for a teenager!”) or it may not be (“She’s on an anti-commercialism kick right now and only uses things with the brands cut out. You know how teenagers are.”)
The other thing is that you live in NYC. If these are in like-new condition and the girls would have some problem with them used, you could pass them off as fakes.
Another thing to consider is that you never know who used these. Maybe it was some celebrity’s bag before. If you’re up on the gossip sites/blogs, you could look for a picture of a celeb with the same bag and tell a little white lie like “The person at XYZ Thrift told me so-and-so frequently stops in with donations, and that this was hers.”
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I guess it’s ok if that’s how you buy gifts. Just buying 1 or 2 gifts that way might be a little “cheap”. Or maybe if you add a note “I decided to go green this x-mas and buy gifts from a thrift store for everyone on my list…” Too bad this is even a question, a gift is just that, a gift, not a statement.
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I would love to be given a Kate Spade bag – no matter where it came from. I think it is fine! Of course based on the above responses it seems to depend on the person receiving the gift…
All of my nieces are under the age of 6 – if I found a really good deal on some high quality toys I’d have no problem buying it at a thrift store (i.e. the old Playmobil doll house they don’t seem to make anymore) for a gift and I know their parents wouldn’t mind.
I like a few suggestions – ask their parents or if you’re really unsure use it as a ‘gift bag’ for an inexpensive gift like lip gloss, scarves, etc.
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My sister and I both shop in thrift stores for each other, as we both think paying full-price for new clothing is wasteful. On the other hand, my brother would probably disown me if I gave him an article of clothing from a thrift store as a gift. So my answer is that it depends.
If they’re in nearly-new shape, just don’t mention where you got the bags unless your nieces ask. I feel like the odds are good that they’ll be thrilled and they won’t ask.
@47: This IS a nicer thing they couldn’t normally afford. And the giver got a great deal on it.
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A thrifted handbag (Kate Spade! and Coach) are completely reasonable thing to gift to college students. These sorts of items are completely out of their price range and I am sure they will be blown away. On this particular example I would say go for it.
On giving thrifted things in general it would all depend on what it is. Maybe you can begin a new tradition of gifting thrifted items.
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A thrift store find by any other name . . .
might be ‘vintage’ or ‘antique’ – and therefore extra valuable. (Sotheby’s doesn’t auction off new stuff, for the most part)
I think thrift stores are a great choice when the gift is unique, quirky – or almost new (as in your case – I think the bags would be a great gift). I think most people would be ok with receiving previously owned accessories, furniture, or other stuff you don’t wear. For clothes – I would steer clear unless you know the person likes special finds or vintage items. So long as you use the same gift giving rules for thrift store finds as you would for other types of gifts (i.e., consider the recipient’s particular needs and wants when gifting) you should do fine.
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I really like reading the different response to this post, if you don’t mind, I’d like to share some of the comments on my thrift blog. My readers are always interested in reading differing opinions on thrifting.
As a lifelong thrift store shopper and lover my answer is…ALWAYS, it’s always okay to give gifts from the thrift store. Does this mean all of my gifts are thrifted? Nope.
I want my neices/nephews to spread their creative wings so they are getting fresh new art supplies to use. If I found art supplies and sketch pads in mint condition at the thrift store I would purchase these for them, but I haven’t, so it’s off to retail for me.
To those who think thirft stores are musty and nasty places: Normal Retail shopping is a boring necessary evil for thrift shoppers and lovers. Bleck.
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I think it depends on the gift and the recipient. You can find many useless, crappy items in “regular” stores and fabulous things at thrift stores, just like Michelle.
I personally think $5 is too low though. We had gift exchanges/Secret Santa at my last job with a $10 limit and that was almost impossible. I don’t think anyone gave or received a gift with that price limit unless they really knew where to shop.
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One of my favorite presents that I’ve ever received was a vintage Gone with the Wind poster a friend picked up in a thrift shop. It was very meaningful, beautiful, and thoughtful. Give it. A gift selected with thoughtfulness and love should always be appropriate, no matter how much you paid for it.
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The real quesiton is would they rather have a new faux Coach or a used real Coach. I think they would rather have the real thing, as long as it is in good condition– if they don’t want to use it they don’t have to, but i’m sure they’re friends would be impressed by them having real Coach bags…just my two cents
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I have to say that in this case at least, I wouldn’t be as gung-ho about saying “yes! give it to them!” as most people here are. I’m a moderate germophobe, and knowing that purses are extremely bacteria-laden (and not easy to throw in the washing machine like thrift store clothes would be), I wouldn’t be super excited to buy one from a thrift store for myself either. If I did do it, I’d have it professionally cleaned before I used it. A lot of people have suggested calling it ‘vintage’, but you really can’t do that if it’s a fairly recent bag – if it’s only a few years old, it’s not vintage.
That being said, I could really care less about designer names. If I own anything brand-name, it’s only because someone else gave it to me, or I got it on super clearance w/ a coupon, and I just bought it because it was cute, not because it was designer. I’d probably rather have something new and not designer than used and designer.
In other situations, though, I have no problem with thrift store stuff if it was really bought w/ the receiver in mind. You can find awesome things at thrift stores! I would just only give it as a gift if I was sure that the receiver would agree w/ my thoughts on thrift stores. I know a lot of people on my list would be extremely offended if I bought them something used, and whether I agree with that or not, gift giving is about the person you’re giving it to, not about you.
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One word. Bedbugs. They’re back in a big way. I do not get anything from thrift, vintage stores that can’t be properly sanitized. Purses fall into that catagory so I wouldn’t be happy with a used handbag no matter how nice.
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I am not a fan of thrift stores in any way (forced to buy clothes from there growing up, when we had lots of money, but my stepfather was too frugal to let us ever get new clothes). So since then, I’ve always been a bit anti-thrift. Although I like the idea and I don’t look down on ppl who do (sometimes I envy them!), it’s just not my thing.
That being said, if someone gave me a Kate Spade or Coach bag, I would very happily accept it, even if I knew where it came from. Heck, if I thought for a minute I could buy such things at my local thrift stores, it would definitely change my opinion of them! A great designer bag is a great designer bag, no matter where you get it!
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cc says:
i have to disagree with the majority of commenters here… i guess i’m spoiled but i would be horrified if someone gave me used thrift-shop purses and would probably spend the rest of the day crying
Oooh, CC Babcock, is that you?!
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I think it is ok when the recipient has told you that it is acceptable.
My friend told me at her baby shower that she had given one of her other ‘mom’ friends a huge bag of baby things that where all bought at a thrift store, or were her own child’s handmedowns.
I figured that if she was willing to give used, she would appreciate getting used items too. And she does.
Some of my other friends would be hugely offended though.
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Cash is the best gift
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I think the thrift store is only appropriate if you know the receiver well and you are reasonably sure they wouldn’t mind. For example, I have some friends who I shop with together at thrift stores, its great, and they would love to receive a gift I found specifically for them, no matter where it was purchased.
However, I also have one friend who I know is ‘grossed out’ by the thought of wearing clothes that someone previously wore. (She is not frugal at all, but thats a different story.) I wouldn’t get her something from a thrift store because she would not appreciate it.
So I think my point is, you can’t buy someone a gift just because you wouldn’t mind receiving it. Something you’d love, maybe your sister would hate. You must base your gifts on what you believe the other person will appreciate.
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I think that the used part is fine. I do think purses would be had to buy for someone else.
I really never carried a purse until I was in my late twenties and done with school.
I know my one aunt bought me purses several times thinking I needed to carry a purse, but they never to used. I did have a well used and enjoyed purse that I got from a roommate, but she lived with me and really knew what I did and did not like. I think she got me started actually carrying a purse.
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No matter what you decide you need to remember that gifts are a reflection of you.
It would have been great to see pictures of the bags. If they are in like new condition I would go for it. However, if the leather is a little worn or it appears the least bit dingy you will be labeled as the crazy aunt dumpster diving for gifts!
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How are they going to KNOW, if you don’t tell them???
Just askin’.
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I wouldn’t buy someone a used gift if it was something I could still buy new. That is to say, if you’re buying someone an antique or vintage item (because they like that sort of thing) then of course, you’ll have to buy a used one, and that’s what would be expected.
But buying someone a used iPod is a bit tacky, I think.
If someone bought me a gift like that, I wouldn’t be horrified and spend the rest of the day crying like some commenters, but I would be thinking, “if you can’t afford to buy me a new iPod, you don’t need to buy me an iPod, you don’t need to to buy me anything at all if it’s a burden for you.”
It all depends though on what you’re buying and who you’re buying it for. There’s no benefit to giving a gift that’s not going to be received well.
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I think that vintage handbags are actually a better gift than the newer counterparts. They are more unique and not everyone will have them. If you were my aunt, I would looove to get a vintage bag!
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