I went running with my friend Dan the other day. As we ran, we chatted. “You know, J.D.,” he said. “It seems like you have the perfect life.”
I laughed. I think that Dan seems to have the perfect life — funny how the grass is often greener on the other side of the fence. “My life is good,” I said, “but it’s not perfect. Besides, I’ve had to work hard to get things where they are now.”
“I know,” he said, “but I still get jealous sometimes.”
I’ve thought a lot about this conversation in the past two weeks. I do have a good life right now. And I have worked hard to get things where they are today. That hard work has paid off, and now I find myself at 41, health, wealthy, and — I hope — wise.
In fact, since returning from our European vacation, my life has been almost perfect. There are little glitches here and there, but mostly the World of J.D. is rosy and good. Consider:
- My diet and exercise plan is still going well.
- Since deciding to get back to basics, my finances are in fine shape.
- Blogging is fun again. After months (or years) of blogging seeming more like work than a hobby, I’m actually enjoying myself at GRS and my personal site. (That last bit is more important to me than you might guess.)
- I’m spending time with friends.
- I’m reading — both books and comics — on a regular basis.
I’m even taking on new professional challenges. I have a monthly column in Entrepreneur magazine starting next month. I’m doing more and more publicity (radio interviews, and the like) — and I don’t even hate doing so.
It feels like I’ve achieved the perfect work-life balance, and I like it. I like it a lot. In fact, this is the goal I’ve been working toward for years. It’s why I quit my day job in 2008.
What does this have to do with anything?
Well, remember how I made a false start at the GRS Blog Project last summer? And remember how I’d promised to restart it in January? That’s not going to happen.
I’ve thought long and hard about this, and I’ve talked with my wife and with friends. Everyone agrees: Why mess with a good thing? If I’ve achieved a sort of perfect balance, why add something to the mix that’s likely to throw things off? Starting another blog will take a ton of time and effort, time and effort that will have to come from other areas of my life.
I still think the Blog Project is a great idea, and I’m committed to doing it sometime in the future. But not right now. Right now, I want to enjoy life. I want to be able to exercise every morning, and to read in the afternoons. I want to have time to eat lunch with friends and GRS readers. I want to be able read comics, pet cats, go for walks, work in the yard, bake cookies with my niece, shop at thrift stores, track my spending, and play Dance Dance Revolution.
I want to maintain this balance for as long as possible. This is much more important to me than money. This — everything I have now — is what life’s all about.
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Good for you!
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Congrats! Good for you.
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I’ve been reading your blog for 2 years already, but this is my first comment. I’m really happy for you. I’m sure that you deserve everything you’ve achieved and think there is so much more on the way.
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Bravo to you J.D.! Saying “no” to projects (and people) is an important thing to keep in mind in order to find balance. Nobody can do everything they want in life, at least not all at once.
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Life Balance really is important, much more than money as money is just a vehicle to where you want to get in your life.
Dwight Anthony
Financially Elite Blog dot Com
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You deserve to enjoy this phase JD, given all that you’ve shared with the community and all the work you’ve done to build your business. But be careful about becoming complacent! Something tells me this is a brief respite before the next big thing.
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Amen.
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The fact that your life is pretty close to perfect is a direct result of your hard work and the choices you’ve made. We can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can definitely affect it. Good for you for saying yes to some things and no to others to get where you want to be.
I wish more people lived that way.
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Congrats on the upcoming article in Entrepreneur. I am sure you will bring a lot to the magazine (one of my favorites).
Steve
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Entrepeneur – how exciting!
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Great to come to place in your life that having balance is most important.
Life of many of us needs to slow down. Most of seem to over do everything until we can stand it any more.
Good for you!
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Congrats on coming to this point, and on being wise enough to realize when enough is enough.
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I’m really glad you decided to not do the new blog project! It seemed like a bad idea to throw something new into the mix.
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This makes me think about where I am now. While you already achieved a work-life balance, here I am struggling how to manage my time and thinking if this blogging thing is for me. I just started my blog and started to see some results but felt guilty for my time not spent on my kids and husband.
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Good job. I’m trying to get there, but with no work at all unless I want to. 10 years more of hard work and then I am done working P-E-R-I-O-D. And I’ll be only 40 years old. My friends often say that I’m crazy and that I must work or I’d get bored. Well, that may be so, but if I work it’ll be on my own terms.
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What you are saying here makes sense to me, J.D. I agree with the comment pointing out the importance of knowing when to say “no.”
The time to push like crazy is when things are not going well. That’s when it’s almost impossible to make a bad move because any change is going to be for the better.
Rob
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Love this. To me this is what living successfully is all about. That perfect balance … of everything. Understand about the blog project. Just started one and it’s enjoyable, but time-consuming. Can’t imagine the hours you must put in, and would put in. The contentment you feel right now is well-deserved. Bravo! Bess
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enjoy the results of all your hard work! clearly you have achieved a nice place soaring on the winds right now. no sense in changing direction and losing that.
when things change- either you or the winds- then tackle a new challenge.
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There are few things that have the value of living a satisfied life. Your blog helps me nip and tuck the corners of my financial life for which I am grateful. I’ve made a lot of changes over the course of my life, a reader’s story in the works perhaps, but I know that being in a good space isn’t trivial; it’s the fruit of an investment in the right life choices. Keep up the good work and congrats on the Entrepreneur magazine gig!
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Ooh, reminded me of this quote:
“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends, and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.” ~ former CEO of Coke
Since you like animals, I can’t recall the quote exactly but it was something like “Man is the only animal that doesn’t understand that the purpose of life is to enjoy yourself.”
It’s very, very hard when you’ve read “success” literature for as long as I have (and my guess is you have too), to disconnect and let yourself be okay with not constantly striving for more more more and there will always be other people pushing their agenda on you. Let go of hobbies and the focus on a richer (non-materially) life for long enough and by the time you do retire you’ll have forgotten how to play and connect. Every once in awhile I re-read Richard Koch’s 80/20 books to remember what I want life to be about. You don’t want to be that marathoner that doesn’t stop and celebrate at the end of the race – how silly would that be?
Re. the site thing, I’d get your buddy Chris G. to write a guide / site with you and split e-book sales. OTOH, I’m not interested in the topics or the topic of growing a blog. It seems like an awful lot of work for not a whole lot of reward.
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Congratulation! It’s rare for a guy to have a perfectly balance work-life balance. I’m very jealous.
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Just want to join the chorus of “Bravos” and say it’s nice to see you enjoying the fruits of your labors, having fun blogging again, and saying no things that would upset the balance!
I just want to add that I don’t even think you should “commit” to the GRS Blog Project in the future. Who knows what the future holds? A year (or whenever) from now, reviving a blog might be the last thing you want to do, and that’s OK! You should feel free to ditch the idea completely if you want to, and (I find) it’s easier to do that without the added pressure of having said you’re committed to it.
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I’m laughing, because every time we get to a place where we feel like this, that’s how we know it’s time to throw something more into the mix. It’s not that we want to be tired or stressed, but it is a sign that we have something left in us to give to a good cause. For some people (us) it’s adopting a child with special needs, for others it’s volunteering for foster children, or committing to support an elderly neighbor or any number of things.
But I’m not saying that YOU have extra to give. You’ve been very helpful in helping me understand that quality of life is IMPORTANT. Me being a miser does no good if I don’t get joy from my life. You’re doing your own balancing act. It’s a great thing that you’re in a place of balance!
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That’s good for you!
I hope I can be able to have such discipline like yours.
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Sorry, but this was a really boring article. But I generally find anything to do with blogging as a business boring.
I was rarely stressed before I had children. For most, it’s pretty easy to balance life and work when you only have yourself to take care of. Sure I had to stay late some times and work was stressful,but when I came home, I only had to worry about me. I could put off the laundry or dishes or even cooking.
Throw in an illness, children, elderly parents, or someone else who needs your time then write about creating balance.
Work/life balance becomes a challenge when the needs of another or even a personal illness comes to the head.
You really need to get a sane parent on your list of bloggers. But I imagine the reason you don’t have one is that normal non-narcissistic parents is that normal caregivers don’t have the time to write about their lives and and the challenge of work/life balance. (Mommy-bloggers are usually HUGE narcissists)
Rachel (at 23) you sound like you have an interesting story to tell. Maybe you’d like to put in for a reader story.
I’m just dying to read a reader story from someone who doesn’t have a blog to pimp. I’m sorry to say I haven’t been impressed with any of them. (Though I really like THIS blog. I just think it needs some balance).
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@24 Gee Anne, sorry we mommy bloggers are so narcissistic and unimpressive. I kind of liked my reader story too. I am looking forward to yours, if you can find the time.
Maybe Sierra Black could do a GRS post about effective lice removal treatments (as is on her current blog)… that’s one of those parenting topics that can cut into a person’s work-life balance. (Seriously.)
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Good for you! There is a lot of talk on this blog and other personal finance blogs about doing all you can to boost your income but it really is all about achieving a balance. What’s the point in accumulating lots of money for the future if you’re utterly miserable in the meantime?
A couple of months ago, I quit a consultancy gig which brought in half my (not exactly huge in the first place) monthly income because it was getting me down & distracting me from what I really wanted to do.
It’s made money quite a bit tighter but I am the happiest I’ve been in years – probably the happiest I’ve been since I first quit my full time job to become self-employed in 2006. For the first time since then, I’m only working on projects that I’m really, really into, and because they’re very close to my hobbies/interests, I can spend a lot of time doing things I like doing under the banner of “work”. It’s fantastic.
Like your Blog Project, I’ve got some other projects I could start but right now, I’m sticking a pin in them. At some point, I’ll probably want to extend my range/income again and they’re there to take up when I want to do that, but for now, I think I’ve got the balance just right.
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“I want to be able to exercise every morning, and to read in the afternoons. I want to have time to eat lunch with friends…. I want to be able read comics, pet cats, go for walks, work in the yard, bake cookies…”
Jeebus, me too. Blogs like yours (and a couple others, though it seems like one incestuous group) provide the inspiration for me to work toward this.
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Thanks for writing this article. It’s an important reminder that while there will be crunch times in our lives it’s just as critical to SLOW DOWN once they’re done and enjoy what we worked so hard to achieve. It’s also been great to read through your decisionmaking about the blog project these past few months — I often do the same decisionmaking dance — and kudos to you for realizing that it’s ok to put it down. Enjoy your “balanced life” moment!
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Do what’s best for you:)
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I have a pretty good life too, but it seems to me to be bad form to boast about it when so many people are out of work and being foreclosed on right now.
And the “I worked hard so I deserve this” falls a bit flat for me. It sounds like something you’d hear on right wing talk radio. Most people work hard. Not everybody has a perfect life. It takes a lot of luck. (I say that as someone who considers himself lucky.)
But I do love this blog and maybe my complaints stem from my midwest upbringing where you are generally taught to keep some things to yourself. (I suppose this might all be changing in our Facebook world.)
And is it just me or do all of JD’s friends and family have a perfect life? Maybe we should all pack up and head to the northwest.
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We were looking forward to your new blog project since we’re starting one of our own (not finance related). But we applaud and congratulate you for reaping the rewards of your hard work. You Hooray for you! You are our role model.
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Kevin: I, too, have a midwestern upbringing (you aren’t my son, Kevin, are you?)but I don’t see too much wrong with appreciating what you have earned. J.D. has a blog and that’s the appropriate place to do a little bragging.
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What I have learned is just when you thing you have everything figured out and the tiger by the tail, life shows up and lets you know who is really boss.
I found this post to be dangerous.
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Great post. That balance is definitely something to strive for. Really, when you have everything you could want and are financially self sufficient, there is no reason to push yourself to the point where it might affect your family life.
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As well as work-life balance, this post strikes me as an important one for pointing out the importance of being happy with what you have, something that we all strive for but don’t often achieve!
I’ve started to realise the value of being satisfied with ‘my lot’ of late and after 5 years or so of post-university struggle to get my foot on the career ladder, it seems to be working out.
I used to be jealous of peers with higher salaries and seemingly more glamorous jobs. Thanks to sticking with an admittedly unglamorous government job, I’m slowly but surely overtaking their salaries and they’re burning out from stress.
As well as that, I hear constant tales of people exhausted from working 50 hour weeks. I managed to go down to a compressed work week last year and now I work long hours Monday-Thursday, with a 3 day weekend every week. Now I hear comments from my peers saying that they feel how I did 5 years ago
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I get a lot of inspiration from this blog. Thanks for keeping us involved in the journey!
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You win JD. You are doing what most people won’t ever be able to do. Even Sam Walton sacrificed family time for the business. I hope to get there one day.
And yes, why load something else on your plate if it’s already full? I recently took a step back from a couple of obligations and now feel so much better. Less stressed out.
The goal is to enjoy life right?
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I’m with Anne @25. A healthy person without a sick dependent found a work-life balance. Nothing wrong with that, congrats, but not impressive. I understand though that it was mostly a sharing joy moment than a bragging moment
Sorry for feeling grumpy – looking forward to my 40+ hours of work with no free down time, heh. (Oh, and yes, I don’t like the line “I worked so hard, so that’s why!”: success = hard_work + some_luck.)
Again, excuse me my grumpiness.
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Hey JD, I have a question for you: Now that you’ve achieved a somewhat ideal work-life balance, how many hours a week would you say you spend actually “working”? I personally felt I had the perfect balance when I was only working my job 20 hours a week and had more time for exercise and reading, but I wonder if it is relative. Would you be willing to disclose that information?
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Good for you! This is a really great example of saying no, something that I’m working to find a balance on within my life.
Way to take what you want for your life. You’ve certainly worked hard to get to this point – enjoy it!
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I’m a little put off by the “try my life out and then tell me about balance” comments. Everyone has their own challenges, and there will always be someone who has it harder than we do.
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Good job JD. Striking a work/life balance is hard, and something I’m still struggling/juggling with. Looking forward to getting closer to it in 2011.
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Good for you. I hope you throw this in as a caveat the next time you or your writers post about how to make more money – that is not always the higher good! Life is here for more than just making money, as you know
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Terrific decision, JD. Life is for the living! Enjoy it, and don’t listen to the naysayers – you’ve worked hard for this.
(Even if you hadn’t, remember the story of the dog in the manger? Blessings should be enjoyed just as much as things you’ve earned!)
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Part of your balance has been achieved, i’m sure, by having your party of contributors. Perhaps there’s one of them that could pick your brain now and then, but blog about *their* journey to make a small side income with a blog. Of course, there are others out there already doing this as well, but the more experiences to read about, the better.
I also have now and then been in that sweet spot, but life *does* have a way of slapping us around when we least expect it! Enjoy it while you got it!
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great thing to know you have that discipline. I hope I can also be able to have the discipline like yours so that I can manage well my life.
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