Comments on: How to Lend Money to Friends (Without Ruining the Relationship) http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/ Common sense advice on money saving tips, how to get out of debt, high interest savings accounts, cd rates, money market accounts, mortgage rates, money management and more. Sat, 18 May 2013 18:34:05 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Jason http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-3281025 Jason Sun, 10 Feb 2013 05:49:35 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-3281025 I agree - I've never ever had to borrow money from friends. One friend in particular has zero debt with any financial institution, is now 30, has a full-time office job and still needs to borrow $20 here, a few hundred there from me. I have credit card debt and a car loan but have plenty of cash-flow to feel comfortable. I feel like asking him for money so that I don't have to pay interest on my loans because that is what it is like he is doing. So effectively I'm paying interest for him. Plus I feel like saying it's time to grow up and learn how to manage money. You shouldn't have to borrow $20 from a friend in your 30's (unless something terrible happened to you). Right? I agree – I’ve never ever had to borrow money from friends. One friend in particular has zero debt with any financial institution, is now 30, has a full-time office job and still needs to borrow $20 here, a few hundred there from me. I have credit card debt and a car loan but have plenty of cash-flow to feel comfortable. I feel like asking him for money so that I don’t have to pay interest on my loans because that is what it is like he is doing. So effectively I’m paying interest for him. Plus I feel like saying it’s time to grow up and learn how to manage money. You shouldn’t have to borrow $20 from a friend in your 30′s (unless something terrible happened to you). Right?

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]]> By: Paul N http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-3277122 Paul N Mon, 04 Feb 2013 22:05:01 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-3277122 Best answer yet! You made me laugh! Best answer yet!
You made me laugh!

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]]> By: Lynn http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-3277052 Lynn Mon, 04 Feb 2013 21:02:51 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-3277052 You can't. You can’t.

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]]> By: David Tran http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-3060962 David Tran Wed, 24 Oct 2012 18:54:30 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-3060962 April, Thanks for a good article. I am putting together a service that allows friends and family members to casually borrow from one another. The service will include features that address the common concerns about lending money to friends and family members. I would definitely be interested in your opinion and comments about whether such service would be useful and about specific features that you think should be addressed. Thanks. April,
Thanks for a good article. I am putting together a service that allows friends and family members to casually borrow from one another. The service will include features that address the common concerns about lending money to friends and family members. I would definitely be interested in your opinion and comments about whether such service would be useful and about specific features that you think should be addressed. Thanks.

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]]> By: Kate http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-3010212 Kate Mon, 24 Sep 2012 07:54:21 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-3010212 I am currently full time at a government firm and owns a coffee shop. I have 5 very close friends and one of them decided to open a coffee shop because she sees how easy i was managing one while having a full time job but you can't judge anything from the outside. My partner and i worked very hard for it. Story cut short ... She wants to borrow from us some money for her new business which i have already explained to her that with such such amount you will not be able to last.. but knowing her stubborness and because i can't say no to anyone i lend her 10k AUD in February and she promised to pay me back in September because my partner and I are going to get marry. Her business did not turn out good so she ask us to lend her more money, we were in debt ourselves when we set up our business, she pleased me to apply for a personal loan so i was stupid then to applied one for her under my name $15k AUD in May. She does make repayments but it is always late. My partner is angry at me because we would have to take money from our credit to pay it in advance for her. Now it is September and i have not heard anything from the 10k that she was suppose to pay back so that we could organise our wedding. I am stressed out at the fact that my wedding is in December and i haven't manage to pre-paid anything or even pick a dress yet. What hurts me is that last week she just asked me to borrow another loan for her which i said i can't. I thought that was the end of it but it turned out she has been backstabbing me with my other 4 friends and saying i have money to pay for my wedding ring and not for her to loan. She said a lot more and it was a one side story and they never knew the money i lend her was from a personal loan. Now my girls are falling apart. Silly of me to lend her from the beginning. I really think friends should be kept away from money unless it is a small amount and they could pay you back on their next wage. I am currently full time at a government firm and owns a coffee shop. I have 5 very close friends and one of them decided to open a coffee shop because she sees how easy i was managing one while having a full time job but you can’t judge anything from the outside. My partner and i worked very hard for it. Story cut short …
She wants to borrow from us some money for her new business which i have already explained to her that with such such amount you will not be able to last.. but knowing her stubborness and because i can’t say no to anyone i lend her 10k AUD in February and she promised to pay me back in September because my partner and I are going to get marry. Her business did not turn out good so she ask us to lend her more money, we were in debt ourselves when we set up our business, she pleased me to apply for a personal loan so i was stupid then to applied one for her under my name $15k AUD in May. She does make repayments but it is always late. My partner is angry at me because we would have to take money from our credit to pay it in advance for her.

Now it is September and i have not heard anything from the 10k that she was suppose to pay back so that we could organise our wedding. I am stressed out at the fact that my wedding is in December and i haven’t manage to pre-paid anything or even pick a dress yet.

What hurts me is that last week she just asked me to borrow another loan for her which i said i can’t. I thought that was the end of it but it turned out she has been backstabbing me with my other 4 friends and saying i have money to pay for my wedding ring and not for her to loan. She said a lot more and it was a one side story and they never knew the money i lend her was from a personal loan. Now my girls are falling apart.

Silly of me to lend her from the beginning. I really think friends should be kept away from money unless it is a small amount and they could pay you back on their next wage.

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]]> By: Cheryl http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-2945412 Cheryl Sun, 19 Aug 2012 12:42:59 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-2945412 I have a friend who was going through a divorce. Immediately prior to separation and during the early days of separation, she needed money to retain a lawyer and to live on and once before the separation, just to get away for a weekend alone without her husband knowing where she went. (Her husband was abusive and had hidden all their assets from her for over 30 years, so there was no way to know what there was or how she'd end up.) Here's how I handled it: When she needed 9k to retain a lawyer, I went the my bank and got 9k and gave it to her. No contracts, no agreements, just pay it back when you can. When she needed to get away, I went to my safe and took out 2k and gave it to her. No contracts no agreements. Did she pay me back, mostly yes. She got a substantial settlement and alimony. She has plenty of money now. Did I care. NO. What mattered to me was that she was OK. That's it. You think I'm rich? I'm not. I'm struggling every day to keep above water. But that is not what's important. I don't understand why people are so obsessed with money and why they will let it become more important than those they love. It's beyond description. I have a friend who was going through a divorce. Immediately prior to separation and during the early days of separation, she needed money to retain a lawyer and to live on and once before the separation, just to get away for a weekend alone without her husband knowing where she went. (Her husband was abusive and had hidden all their assets from her for over 30 years, so there was no way to know what there was or how she’d end up.) Here’s how I handled it: When she needed 9k to retain a lawyer, I went the my bank and got 9k and gave it to her. No contracts, no agreements, just pay it back when you can. When she needed to get away, I went to my safe and took out 2k and gave it to her. No contracts no agreements. Did she pay me back, mostly yes. She got a substantial settlement and alimony. She has plenty of money now. Did I care. NO. What mattered to me was that she was OK. That’s it. You think I’m rich? I’m not. I’m struggling every day to keep above water. But that is not what’s important. I don’t understand why people are so obsessed with money and why they will let it become more important than those they love. It’s beyond description.

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]]> By: Sam http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-2807642 Sam Wed, 20 Jun 2012 06:03:50 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-2807642 I planned to borrow some money for a car and I suggested to my parents that they lend me the money at 7% interest, better than the 3.5% they were getting in the bank, and cheaper for me than the 13% that the finance company would charge. Frustratingly after I borrowed the money, they said they only wanted the principal repaid, however I have persuaded them to accept 4% to cover their lost interest in the bank. I am 6 months into the 12 month loan and have made all payments on time each month. I treat it as I would a bank loan so as not to damage our relationship. I planned to borrow some money for a car and I suggested to my parents that they lend me the money at 7% interest, better than the 3.5% they were getting in the bank, and cheaper for me than the 13% that the finance company would charge.

Frustratingly after I borrowed the money, they said they only wanted the principal repaid, however I have persuaded them to accept 4% to cover their lost interest in the bank. I am 6 months into the 12 month loan and have made all payments on time each month. I treat it as I would a bank loan so as not to damage our relationship.

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]]> By: doomed http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-2511132 doomed Thu, 22 Mar 2012 16:04:45 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-2511132 With "friends" like these, who needs enemies? Indulging them all in their selfish financial emergencies will have you living in a card board box in an alley in no time flat. I would NEVER ask someone for money and not fully intend to repay them. It sounds like the "friends" of the previous posters never planned on repaying them in the first place. The only reason I would give money to someone is if: (1) I can afford to do it. (2) I want to get rid of the person. With “friends” like these, who needs enemies? Indulging them all in their selfish financial emergencies will have you living in a card board box in an alley in no time flat. I would NEVER ask someone for money and not fully intend to repay them. It sounds like the “friends” of the previous posters never planned on repaying them in the first place. The only reason I would give money to someone is if:

(1) I can afford to do it.
(2) I want to get rid of the person.

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]]> By: Sue http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-2501702 Sue Tue, 20 Mar 2012 09:38:26 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-2501702 My husband and I loaned $700 to a friend I've known for 20 years, but have only been back in contact with since March 2011. His bank account was cleaned out in May 2011 and he needed $600 to pay a bill. This $700 got taken from his acct also. I didn't give him anymore though. He is always talking about not having any money, which makes me feel very uncomfortable. I recently learnt he owes about 30K on a credit card. Had I known this last year I may not have lent him the money. He is in the Army, earns 70K plus allowances, rents a house(and gets an allowance towards his rent from the Army). He gave up smoking and drinking for 3 months in Oct last year because he did some sums on what his habit was costing him. When I asked him earlier this year how much he had saved, he said he hadn't really been able to see it yet. He took these habits back up in Feb. He told me today he is thinking of moving to live on base and putting what little furniture he has into storage as a way to save some money. When he asks how my weekends are, I feel uncomfortable telling him about any purchases I make or activities my family do. No payment plan was discussed back in May. I honestly thought he'd start repaying the money on a fortnightly (each payday) or monthly basis. Can I be so blunt after 10 months and email him my acct details and ask for him to start making regular payments? I really don't know what to do. Another thing, I was purchasing concert tickets in Nov 11 for a gig in July and I asked him if he wanted me to get him one and he could pay me for it. Of course he said yes. Again this was before I knew about the credit card debt! He thought he was being deployed in April for 6 months, but this has recently been cancelled. He was hoping to pay off some debts with the money he would have earnt and saved in that 6 months. I've been toying with the idea of asking someone else if they want to come to the concert in his place and telling him that I offered the ticket to someone else when I thought he was going away. I can't just lose $800 (loan plus ticket). We have a large mortgage and I'd like the money repaid. As I mentioned earlier, we didn't discuss a payment plan, but I'm getting more annoyed with each passing month with him not saying anything. I don't bring it up as I feel embarrasses for him. It just irks me that he hasn't offered anything after 10 months, but I know he still buys his smokes and his beers every week. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, thankyou. My husband and I loaned $700 to a friend I’ve known for 20 years, but have only been back in contact with since March 2011. His bank account was cleaned out in May 2011 and he needed $600 to pay a bill. This $700 got taken from his acct also. I didn’t give him anymore though. He is always talking about not having any money, which makes me feel very uncomfortable. I recently learnt he owes about 30K on a credit card. Had I known this last year I may not have lent him the money. He is in the Army, earns 70K plus allowances, rents a house(and gets an allowance towards his rent from the Army). He gave up smoking and drinking for 3 months in Oct last year because he did some sums on what his habit was costing him. When I asked him earlier this year how much he had saved, he said he hadn’t really been able to see it yet. He took these habits back up in Feb. He told me today he is thinking of moving to live on base and putting what little furniture he has into storage as a way to save some money. When he asks how my weekends are, I feel uncomfortable telling him about any purchases I make or activities my family do. No payment plan was discussed back in May. I honestly thought he’d start repaying the money on a fortnightly (each payday) or monthly basis. Can I be so blunt after 10 months and email him my acct details and ask for him to start making regular payments? I really don’t know what to do. Another thing, I was purchasing concert tickets in Nov 11 for a gig in July and I asked him if he wanted me to get him one and he could pay me for it. Of course he said yes. Again this was before I knew about the credit card debt! He thought he was being deployed in April for 6 months, but this has recently been cancelled. He was hoping to pay off some debts with the money he would have earnt and saved in that 6 months. I’ve been toying with the idea of asking someone else if they want to come to the concert in his place and telling him that I offered the ticket to someone else when I thought he was going away. I can’t just lose $800 (loan plus ticket). We have a large mortgage and I’d like the money repaid. As I mentioned earlier, we didn’t discuss a payment plan, but I’m getting more annoyed with each passing month with him not saying anything. I don’t bring it up as I feel embarrasses for him. It just irks me that he hasn’t offered anything after 10 months, but I know he still buys his smokes and his beers every week. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, thankyou.

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]]> By: rikk http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-2490582 rikk Sat, 17 Mar 2012 20:00:03 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-2490582 its a great article.. what my question is... my friend has lost his wallet.. with all his credit and debit cards.. and he asked me for money to lend him for couple of months.. and there is no document signed.. now he is showing his back in returning.. not taking my calls and not answering my msgs.. what can I do in this case.. its a great article..
what my question is… my friend has lost his wallet.. with all his credit and debit cards.. and he asked me for money to lend him for couple of months.. and there is no document signed.. now he is showing his back in returning.. not taking my calls and not answering my msgs.. what can I do in this case..

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]]> By: Paul N http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-2484412 Paul N Thu, 15 Mar 2012 19:52:07 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-2484412 I think you answered your own question. You need your money for you own retirement.... People need to learn to be a bit more selfish and simply say no. Also when receiving a "windfall" don't tell anyone. If your wife tells someone you came into some new found cash split the winnings in two and have her give it from her half ;) I think you answered your own question. You need your money for you own retirement….

People need to learn to be a bit more selfish and simply say no. Also when receiving a “windfall” don’t tell anyone. If your wife tells someone you came into some new found cash split the winnings in two and have her give it from her half ;)

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]]> By: Scott http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-2484092 Scott Thu, 15 Mar 2012 18:36:44 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-2484092 On a different note. My Partner of 10+ years wants me to pay off his sister's mortgage when I get my inheritance. I really don't want to do that. I need the money for myself and my retirement. Your thoughts? On a different note. My Partner of 10+ years wants me to pay off his sister’s mortgage when I get my inheritance. I really don’t want to do that. I need the money for myself and my retirement. Your thoughts?

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]]> By: Michael http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-2414972 Michael Thu, 01 Mar 2012 14:03:51 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-2414972 I think that one should look at this problem from all sides. First,look at the amount that is asked for,and whether you can afford to loan out the money. If so,make sure that you lend an amount that the person can afford to pay back.For example,if you decide to loan the person 5000 dollars,and the payments will be 100 dollars per month,then this is probably a reasonable amount to lend out,if you have it. Help when possible,whenever you can,for as much as you reasonably can afford. The only limitations are the following: 1) Don't take out a loan,in order to lend that money to someone,unless you can easily afford to do this. 2) DON'T MAKE CONDITIONS:in other words,don't make the loan based upon the loan receiver doing some specific thing to get the money. 3) Have a specific payment plan in place whereby it is specified that the money is to be paid back at x amount per month for x amount of months. 4) Draw up a contract with your(and the loan receivers) signatures,acknowledging the above stated conditions. 5) Loan the money based upon need or hardship,primarily(credit card debt,etc). If you do this,it should turn out well for both parties,in most instances. I think that one should look at this problem from all sides. First,look at the amount that is asked for,and whether you can afford to loan out the money. If so,make sure that you lend an amount that the person can afford to pay back.For example,if you decide to loan the person 5000 dollars,and the payments will be 100 dollars per month,then this is probably a reasonable amount to lend out,if you have it. Help when possible,whenever you can,for as much as you reasonably can afford. The only limitations are the following: 1) Don’t take out a loan,in order to lend that money to someone,unless you can easily afford to do this. 2) DON’T MAKE CONDITIONS:in other words,don’t make the loan based upon the loan receiver doing some specific thing to get the money. 3) Have a specific payment plan in place whereby it is specified that the money is to be paid back at x amount per month for x amount of months. 4) Draw up a contract with your(and the loan receivers) signatures,acknowledging the above stated conditions. 5) Loan the money based upon need or hardship,primarily(credit card debt,etc). If you do this,it should turn out well for both parties,in most instances.

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]]> By: Carol http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-2219172 Carol Mon, 09 Jan 2012 18:15:49 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-2219172 I am pleased to read that for some lending to family has worked out and repayments made. For me, my story is where the money hasn't been repaid. In 2003 I loaned my daughter and her husband £30k with which to buy a house in South Africa. My son-in-law asked me how I wanted it repaid, and I told him. I asked him to put the money into a savings account, and once or twice a year to then draw it out and send the money to me in the UK. he told me it couldn't be done. I had asked on several occasions for the money to be returned (I am widowed) as I have needed the money for dental treatment. He makes lots of promises but so far nothing has been forthcoming. Then in October 2011 I was so angry with them, that I sent a stonking email to them both saying that I felt they held me in contempt, because they had ignored my requests for repayment. My daughter refuses to have anything to do with me, and my son-in-law continues to make promises to repay, but as before, nothing. So, I agree with those who say that it's better not to lend to family members or friends more than you are willing to lose. Like a fool, I received a phone call from my son-in-law 18 months ago to say he had left the firm he was working for, and starting up on his own, and needed money for mortgage payments, school fees etc., and so I sent him the money. He promised to repay the money as soon as things improved. They have improved to the point they have gone to Kruger for a holiday, they are in the UK at the moment, and the trip would have cost them £7k. Just before they travelled my daughter sent me £900. However, even though I have been in their company with other family members, I am ignored and sidelined. I loaned them the money because I was vulnerable and thought it was what I should do and most of all because I loved my daughter. However, I now realise that I have been cheated, and there is no respect or honour from either my daughter or her husband, and the way they treat me you would think that I am the bad person here! I am pleased to read that for some lending to family has worked out and repayments made. For me, my story is where the money hasn’t been repaid. In 2003 I loaned my daughter and her husband £30k with which to buy a house in South Africa. My son-in-law asked me how I wanted it repaid, and I told him. I asked him to put the money into a savings account, and once or twice a year to then draw it out and send the money to me in the UK. he told me it couldn’t be done. I had asked on several occasions for the money to be returned (I am widowed) as I have needed the money for dental treatment. He makes lots of promises but so far nothing has been forthcoming. Then in October 2011 I was so angry with them, that I sent a stonking email to them both saying that I felt they held me in contempt, because they had ignored my requests for repayment. My daughter refuses to have anything to do with me, and my son-in-law continues to make promises to repay, but as before, nothing. So, I agree with those who say that it’s better not to lend to family members or friends more than you are willing to lose. Like a fool, I received a phone call from my son-in-law 18 months ago to say he had left the firm he was working for, and starting up on his own, and needed money for mortgage payments, school fees etc., and so I sent him the money. He promised to repay the money as soon as things improved. They have improved to the point they have gone to Kruger for a holiday, they are in the UK at the moment, and the trip would have cost them £7k. Just before they travelled my daughter sent me £900. However, even though I have been in their company with other family members, I am ignored and sidelined. I loaned them the money because I was vulnerable and thought it was what I should do and most of all because I loved my daughter. However, I now realise that I have been cheated, and there is no respect or honour from either my daughter or her husband, and the way they treat me you would think that I am the bad person here!

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]]> By: Sonja http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-2176342 Sonja Sun, 01 Jan 2012 11:56:47 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-2176342 My story is quite different, as in I'm the one lending money from my friend. He has quite a large amount of money saved up, I on the other hand have a large student debt which i've been paying off without problems but slowly in part due to high interests. So he's now lending me 25 k for a higher interest than he was getting on his savings and about half of what I used to pay. We've come up with a contract in which its detailed what to pay back and when, and importantly the backup plan. Meaning i'm required to keep open a line of credit from which i can pay him back if necessary. This makes his investment saver, and makes me happy as well in the knowledge he wont get into trouble by helping me. Its a win win situation with enough failsaves to ensure no problems in our friendship. But its definately a loan and not a gift. So if you plan and think this out carefully this can work to. My story is quite different, as in I’m the one lending money from my friend.

He has quite a large amount of money saved up, I on the other hand have a large student debt which i’ve been paying off without problems but slowly in part due to high interests.

So he’s now lending me 25 k for a higher interest than he was getting on his savings and about half of what I used to pay. We’ve come up with a contract in which its detailed what to pay back and when, and importantly the backup plan. Meaning i’m required to keep open a line of credit from which i can pay him back if necessary. This makes his investment saver, and makes me happy as well in the knowledge he wont get into trouble by helping me.

Its a win win situation with enough failsaves to ensure no problems in our friendship. But its definately a loan and not a gift.

So if you plan and think this out carefully this can work to.

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]]> By: Betty http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-2041842 Betty Thu, 01 Dec 2011 06:08:10 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-2041842 My brothers are always in some kind of financial trouble. One of them is in a very tricky situation, his wife left home and left him with the kids. Hard to believe but it's true, so anyway He has no steady job and he is always asking for money. I promised myself I wouldn't lend him money, since the one time I did he got mad when I asked for the money, but I have to say I did it for the kids, so I lend him $500. I noticed he started spending more after a few weeks, going out with friends and all. I asked for the money and he was ranting for a good half an hour yelling and telling me some pretty hurtful things. I know I'll never get that money back, we started speaking to each other again after a while and I know I'll never lend him money again. Funny enough my other brother who has a job, a fancy car and everything needed some money to expand his business. I lend him my life savings, close to $10,000 . I just found out he is drowned in credit card debts he owes a lot of money and I can't find him anywhere. there's my story do NOT lend money to your friends and family.. or to anyone for that matter. I happen to have a couple of douche bags as brothers but don't let that happen to you :( My brothers are always in some kind of financial trouble. One of them is in a very tricky situation, his wife left home and left him with the kids. Hard to believe but it’s true, so anyway He has no steady job and he is always asking for money. I promised myself I wouldn’t lend him money, since the one time I did he got mad when I asked for the money, but I have to say I did it for the kids, so I lend him $500. I noticed he started spending more after a few weeks, going out with friends and all. I asked for the money and he was ranting for a good half an hour yelling and telling me some pretty hurtful things. I know I’ll never get that money back, we started speaking to each other again after a while and I know I’ll never lend him money again.

Funny enough my other brother who has a job, a fancy car and everything needed some money to expand his business. I lend him my life savings, close to $10,000 . I just found out he is drowned in credit card debts he owes a lot of money and I can’t find him anywhere. there’s my story do NOT lend money to your friends and family.. or to anyone for that matter. I happen to have a couple of douche bags as brothers but don’t let that happen to you :(

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]]> By: John http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-1991942 John Mon, 14 Nov 2011 05:48:18 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1991942 I had lend my friend money for her rent payment for her apartment for one month. She lost her job and didn't have money to pay so I wanted to help because we knew each other for a long time. I helped her find a job but she was picky about where she wanted to work. She promised to pay me back when she could but never did. I didn't expect her to but I also didn't expect her to change her phone number and lose communication with me. It's sad she chose to take my money and hurt our friendship. I was only trying to help as a frie nd is suppose to always be there for each other and I cared for her. That was the first time I helped a friend with financial problems I learned my lesson. Is there a way to get my money back we all work hard for our money it doesn't grow on trees, I had a bad feeling about that? I had lend my friend money for her rent payment for her apartment for one month. She lost her job and didn’t have money to pay so I wanted to help because we knew each other for a long time. I helped her find a job but she was picky about where she wanted to work. She promised to pay me back when she could but never did. I didn’t expect her to but I also didn’t expect her to change her phone number and lose communication with me. It’s sad she chose to take my money and hurt our friendship. I was only trying to help as a frie nd is suppose to always be there for each other and I cared for her. That was the first time I helped a friend with financial problems I learned my lesson. Is there a way to get my money back we all work hard for our money it doesn’t grow on trees, I had a bad feeling about that?

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]]> By: rebecca http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-1933192 rebecca Fri, 28 Oct 2011 07:03:46 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1933192 My mum borrowed money from me quite often, around 1 to 2 k each time, but she did pay me back. I did not ask why as its not a very large amount of money. But this time, she brings me to a bank and use my ID to borrow a personal loan and asked me not to tell my bf and my dad. its 20k, and when i asked why she needs that lum sum of money, she just talk nonsense to me. I know she is hiding something. What should I do? To lend or not to lend? Im still waiting for the loan to be approved.. My mum borrowed money from me quite often, around 1 to 2 k each time, but she did pay me back. I did not ask why as its not a very large amount of money.

But this time, she brings me to a bank and use my ID to borrow a personal loan and asked me not to tell my bf and my dad. its 20k, and when i asked why she needs that lum sum of money, she just talk nonsense to me. I know she is hiding something. What should I do? To lend or not to lend? Im still waiting for the loan to be approved..

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]]> By: Lisa http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-1718982 Lisa Thu, 25 Aug 2011 15:49:52 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1718982 We loaned $500 to a friend a year and a half ago to help her with a deposit for an apartment. Since we'v been friends, she's never managed money well, has never had more than a few hundred dollars in savings, and no retirement. She promised to repay the loan with her tax refund that year. Well, after she received her tax refund and didn't mention the loan, I asked her if she still planned to repay us. At this point, we had gone through almost our entire savings because we had about $5,000 in emergency veterinary expenses, and had to put a new AC in one of our vehicles. We were forced to start using our credit card for our pet's on-going medical treatments, so I felt justified asking about the money. I honestly believe she thought we would not expect repayment. She told us that she would "see" how much she had left from her tax refund after paying for new tires and a few other necessities. We finally received half of the $500 last Spring, but she has not mentioned the remainder of the loan. I guess what is so frustrating to us is that she goes out to dinner several times a week, has the premium cable channels and the highest speed internet, but these are things we cannot afford. We are fortunate that we have never had to borrow money and have been able to access money from our savings or even 401K loans, because there would be absolutely no one in either of our families, or any friends, that we could ask. People have always come to us. Just last week my brother asked to borrow $4,000 towards a down-payment on a house, yet my brother hasn't been employed with the same company for more than a year. First, I never know if he is telling the truth about his need for the money, and second, if you cannot save money for a down payment on a house, then you should not be purchasing one until you can afford to do it without asking family. I am empathetic to peopled who have honesly fallen on hard times, but not to the ones who cannot manage their money. We loaned $500 to a friend a year and a half ago to help her with a deposit for an apartment. Since we’v been friends, she’s never managed money well, has never had more than a few hundred dollars in savings, and no retirement. She promised to repay the loan with her tax refund that year. Well, after she received her tax refund and didn’t mention the loan, I asked her if she still planned to repay us. At this point, we had gone through almost our entire savings because we had about $5,000 in emergency veterinary expenses, and had to put a new AC in one of our vehicles. We were forced to start using our credit card for our pet’s on-going medical treatments, so I felt justified asking about the money. I honestly believe she thought we would not expect repayment. She told us that she would “see” how much she had left from her tax refund after paying for new tires and a few other necessities. We finally received half of the $500 last Spring, but she has not mentioned the remainder of the loan. I guess what is so frustrating to us is that she goes out to dinner several times a week, has the premium cable channels and the highest speed internet, but these are things we cannot afford. We are fortunate that we have never had to borrow money and have been able to access money from our savings or even 401K loans, because there would be absolutely no one in either of our families, or any friends, that we could ask. People have always come to us.

Just last week my brother asked to borrow $4,000 towards a down-payment on a house, yet my brother hasn’t been employed with the same company for more than a year. First, I never know if he is telling the truth about his need for the money, and second, if you cannot save money for a down payment on a house, then you should not be purchasing one until you can afford to do it without asking family.

I am empathetic to peopled who have honesly fallen on hard times, but not to the ones who cannot manage their money.

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]]> By: Joanne Francois http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-1380962 Joanne Francois Mon, 02 May 2011 01:31:12 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1380962 I know you believe that your proposal for your parents to lend you money with an agreed upon repayment rate plus interest is a good deal for both parties; but the truth is that this is only a good deal for you. Your financial endeavors are not your parent's responsibility and you should keep them separate. You are actually placing them in an awkward situation by asking them to be involved in your finances. It doesn't matter that you would pay them interest because that benefit is superceded by the fact that you are placing them in an awkward position. I know you believe that your proposal for your parents to lend you money with an agreed upon repayment rate plus interest is a good deal for both parties; but the truth is that this is only a good deal for you. Your financial endeavors are not your parent’s responsibility and you should keep them separate. You are actually placing them in an awkward situation by asking them to be involved in your finances. It doesn’t matter that you would pay them interest because that benefit is superceded by the fact that you are placing them in an awkward position.

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]]> By: Nichole http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-1270992 Nichole Fri, 18 Mar 2011 21:12:11 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1270992 @Melanie, the greatest gift you can give your children is to teach them to save so you will not have to help them as you were and your parents were. Like Dave Ramsey says, "Time to change the family tree." @Melanie, the greatest gift you can give your children is to teach them to save so you will not have to help them as you were and your parents were. Like Dave Ramsey says, “Time to change the family tree.”

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]]> By: fairy dust http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-4/#comment-1270962 fairy dust Fri, 18 Mar 2011 20:42:12 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1270962 @Nichole 150: To my husband, money is just something to be spent, and if he can use it help out a life-long friend then he will. It was that simple. I'm not sure what would have happened if I'd tried to put my foot down and say No! flat out. I expressed extreme displeasure with the idea, but didn't try to stop the process, probably because they have been friends for more than 50 years and I actually hoped the friend would keep that in mind and pay everything back. Silly me! @Nichole 150: To my husband, money is just something to be spent, and if he can use it help out a life-long friend then he will. It was that simple. I’m not sure what would have happened if I’d tried to put my foot down and say No! flat out. I expressed extreme displeasure with the idea, but didn’t try to stop the process, probably because they have been friends for more than 50 years and I actually hoped the friend would keep that in mind and pay everything back. Silly me!

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]]> By: Nichole http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-3/#comment-1269252 Nichole Fri, 18 Mar 2011 04:57:07 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1269252 @Quest, if you stop loaning to your friends, then you can stop borrowing from your parents. That's a lesson I had to learn. @Fairy Dust, how can your husband loan your money to his friend? I could not even think of asking my husband to loan my friend $10K. @Quest, if you stop loaning to your friends, then you can stop borrowing from your parents. That’s a lesson I had to learn.

@Fairy Dust, how can your husband loan your money to his friend? I could not even think of asking my husband to loan my friend $10K.

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]]> By: Nichole http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-3/#comment-1269232 Nichole Fri, 18 Mar 2011 04:23:03 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1269232 @Nicole, I agree with the poster who brought up the subject of children because some people use that as an excuse to get people to help them. When I had my daughter, I was young but I knew that Christmas was EVERY December and November 12 was her bday EVERY year so I made sure things were covered. Also, as far as her eating, I knew she had to eat so that meant I had to do WHATEVER kind of legal work I could to provide for my child. Some people just sit back and use their children as an excuse to make people feel sorry for them. IMO @Nicole, I agree with the poster who brought up the subject of children because some people use that as an excuse to get people to help them. When I had my daughter, I was young but I knew that Christmas was EVERY December and November 12 was her bday EVERY year so I made sure things were covered. Also, as far as her eating, I knew she had to eat so that meant I had to do WHATEVER kind of legal work I could to provide for my child. Some people just sit back and use their children as an excuse to make people feel sorry for them. IMO

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]]> By: Jason http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-3/#comment-1178692 Jason Mon, 14 Feb 2011 14:44:37 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1178692 I don't loan money to people, but if I can swing it I will give it to them. At least that's how I think about it. They might want to pay me back, but if they can't I'm not worried about it. I think some Biblical principles are what got me to that mindset, but it was made concrete when I had to loan my parents a pretty significant amount. They said they were going to pay it back but kept giving me reasons they couldn't. To prevent myself from being angry, I just decided that it was a gift and they could pay it back if they could when they could. Eventually they did, but my life was made easier the instant I decided I didn't need them to pay it back. These days I wish I had even more that I could use to help people when they needed it. I'm finding that I'm much happier being generous than I am making sure I have enough for myself. And I never want for anything. -j I don’t loan money to people, but if I can swing it I will give it to them. At least that’s how I think about it. They might want to pay me back, but if they can’t I’m not worried about it. I think some Biblical principles are what got me to that mindset, but it was made concrete when I had to loan my parents a pretty significant amount. They said they were going to pay it back but kept giving me reasons they couldn’t. To prevent myself from being angry, I just decided that it was a gift and they could pay it back if they could when they could. Eventually they did, but my life was made easier the instant I decided I didn’t need them to pay it back.

These days I wish I had even more that I could use to help people when they needed it. I’m finding that I’m much happier being generous than I am making sure I have enough for myself. And I never want for anything.

-j

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]]> By: MDAccount http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-3/#comment-1145902 MDAccount Tue, 01 Feb 2011 23:23:58 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1145902 I've been a recipient of generosity on several occasions, all at or in excess of $10K, and all under different arrangements. The first time, I was headed to a top tier business school but, having had a very low paying non-profit job, had no savings to cover the cost of my move or initial expenses. I asked a sister (who already had an MBA and had worked for years on Wall Street) for a loan of $10K. She was happy to comply. When I graduated and got my first job, I was preparing to begin repayment when she sent a check for another $2K to help me buy furniture, and the clear message I owed her nothing. It was a wonderful gift that cost her little but meant the world to me. The second and third gifts came when I bought my first house. Having left corporate life after only a few years to enter the ministry, I was again dealing with a fairly low income. One couple, having seen the homes I was looking at, wanted me in something nicer. They came to me with an offer to join me in the purchase of a home -- I would own 51%, they would own 49%, and they would pay 49% of any maintenance or upkeep. All the details were worked out, legal paperwork was drawn up, and this amazing couple didn't even see the house they now partially owned until after the closing. It's worked out beautifully and the investment (less than 1% of their net worth) has made a huge difference to me. The fact that they have equity ensures that I don't feel beholden, and has allowed us to remain great friends. At the same time, another couple learned that I was going to use my emergency savings to pay my share of needed roof repairs, rewiring, etc. They didn't want me to do that, so they offered to provide me with a 30 year loan, at a low interest rate, for the $30K I was planning to spend in the first year. Again, all the proper paperwork was signed, and a monthly amount is deducted from my bank account every month. Since I'm paying interest, I feel as if I'm an investment providing a solid return, and I have the freedom to pay it back when I can. The key to all these arrangements has been A) the amount was relatively insignificant to the people offering help; B) any and all repayment was reasonable for my current financial situation; C) for the non-family deals, papers were signed and there is some security to the investments. I've been astounded by the generosity shown me, and should I someday be in the position to do so, I would make it my mission to pay it forward. I’ve been a recipient of generosity on several occasions, all at or in excess of $10K, and all under different arrangements.

The first time, I was headed to a top tier business school but, having had a very low paying non-profit job, had no savings to cover the cost of my move or initial expenses. I asked a sister (who already had an MBA and had worked for years on Wall Street) for a loan of $10K. She was happy to comply. When I graduated and got my first job, I was preparing to begin repayment when she sent a check for another $2K to help me buy furniture, and the clear message I owed her nothing. It was a wonderful gift that cost her little but meant the world to me.

The second and third gifts came when I bought my first house. Having left corporate life after only a few years to enter the ministry, I was again dealing with a fairly low income. One couple, having seen the homes I was looking at, wanted me in something nicer. They came to me with an offer to join me in the purchase of a home — I would own 51%, they would own 49%, and they would pay 49% of any maintenance or upkeep. All the details were worked out, legal paperwork was drawn up, and this amazing couple didn’t even see the house they now partially owned until after the closing. It’s worked out beautifully and the investment (less than 1% of their net worth) has made a huge difference to me. The fact that they have equity ensures that I don’t feel beholden, and has allowed us to remain great friends.

At the same time, another couple learned that I was going to use my emergency savings to pay my share of needed roof repairs, rewiring, etc. They didn’t want me to do that, so they offered to provide me with a 30 year loan, at a low interest rate, for the $30K I was planning to spend in the first year. Again, all the proper paperwork was signed, and a monthly amount is deducted from my bank account every month. Since I’m paying interest, I feel as if I’m an investment providing a solid return, and I have the freedom to pay it back when I can.

The key to all these arrangements has been A) the amount was relatively insignificant to the people offering help; B) any and all repayment was reasonable for my current financial situation; C) for the non-family deals, papers were signed and there is some security to the investments.

I’ve been astounded by the generosity shown me, and should I someday be in the position to do so, I would make it my mission to pay it forward.

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]]> By: Jen http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-3/#comment-1142862 Jen Mon, 31 Jan 2011 19:46:01 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1142862 I had somewhat of a relationship going with a guy I worked with for about 5 months or so when he was fired in October. I knew prior to him being fired that he was having money issues but he also does have a girlfriend and 2 kids at home, so there is another income coming into this household. A few days after being fired I offered him money and he was hesitant at first but then accepted it. When he came to pick up his final check, he needed money to get his tool box towed to his house so I have him the money for that as well. Then a third time around he needed money for his phone bill which I also gave him money for. Although he never actually came out and asked for it, I offered it because I felt that we had a good enough relationship that he would in fact pay me back like he said he would once his unemployment kicked in. The last time I saw him was about 2 months ago now and that's when he told me how much he was getting off his unemployment, but still no mention of paying me back. A few days after that he had texted me asking if I had $20 on me and if I could pay one of the guys we work with because he owed him money and didnt want to come here. So I agreed because thats how I am and I felt bad. At this point it was going on about 2 months since I gave him money for the first time and I have yet to see any of it back. I finally asked him after the new year when he would be able to pay me back because I was wanting to go back to school and needed it. He told me that he got paid on January 6th and would give me half of it then 2 weeks later, the rest. Well when the January 6th came around I asked if he was still able to pay me back and he said he wasnt getting a check until the following week. So when the next week finally rolled around, I tried getting a hold of him, but no response. I knew there were issues with his girl friend finding out about what was going on with us and figured she was around and couldn't talk. Finally after not hearing a response to any of my text messages I called only to find out that his phone was shut off. Now I know how much he owes his phone company which is a lot and figured it was turned off due to lack of payment. I asked one of my co workers if he had heard from him and he goes yes he called me last week to tell me he got a new phone number. At this point was more upset due to the fact that what had gone one between us (money aside) and he didnt give me his new number. Part of me wants to believe its because hes trying to patch things up with his girlfriend but I also feel like its because he doesn't have the money and is figuring he can just run from me. I never in a million years would have ever imagined him doing this. So at this point I have pretty much accepted that I am not going to see him or my money ever again. People keep telling me to go to his house but I'm not like that. Ill eventually run into him, and I do have this new number I just dont want to come off stalkerish calling it when he clearly doesnt want me knowing it. I did send him a facebook message asking what happened to his phone and I did see that his best friend posted on his wall asking about his phone as well... so I am not the only he didnt give his new number too. I just never expected it to turn out like this, and I guess I'm the only at fault for giving it to him because my intentions behind the loan was that I would still have a reason to see him because I was only able to see him at work and when we would go out lunch. My fault I guess. I had somewhat of a relationship going with a guy I worked with for about 5 months or so when he was fired in October. I knew prior to him being fired that he was having money issues but he also does have a girlfriend and 2 kids at home, so there is another income coming into this household. A few days after being fired I offered him money and he was hesitant at first but then accepted it. When he came to pick up his final check, he needed money to get his tool box towed to his house so I have him the money for that as well. Then a third time around he needed money for his phone bill which I also gave him money for. Although he never actually came out and asked for it, I offered it because I felt that we had a good enough relationship that he would in fact pay me back like he said he would once his unemployment kicked in. The last time I saw him was about 2 months ago now and that’s when he told me how much he was getting off his unemployment, but still no mention of paying me back. A few days after that he had texted me asking if I had $20 on me and if I could pay one of the guys we work with because he owed him money and didnt want to come here. So I agreed because thats how I am and I felt bad. At this point it was going on about 2 months since I gave him money for the first time and I have yet to see any of it back. I finally asked him after the new year when he would be able to pay me back because I was wanting to go back to school and needed it. He told me that he got paid on January 6th and would give me half of it then 2 weeks later, the rest. Well when the January 6th came around I asked if he was still able to pay me back and he said he wasnt getting a check until the following week. So when the next week finally rolled around, I tried getting a hold of him, but no response. I knew there were issues with his girl friend finding out about what was going on with us and figured she was around and couldn’t talk. Finally after not hearing a response to any of my text messages I called only to find out that his phone was shut off. Now I know how much he owes his phone company which is a lot and figured it was turned off due to lack of payment. I asked one of my co workers if he had heard from him and he goes yes he called me last week to tell me he got a new phone number. At this point was more upset due to the fact that what had gone one between us (money aside) and he didnt give me his new number. Part of me wants to believe its because hes trying to patch things up with his girlfriend but I also feel like its because he doesn’t have the money and is figuring he can just run from me. I never in a million years would have ever imagined him doing this. So at this point I have pretty much accepted that I am not going to see him or my money ever again. People keep telling me to go to his house but I’m not like that. Ill eventually run into him, and I do have this new number I just dont want to come off stalkerish calling it when he clearly doesnt want me knowing it. I did send him a facebook message asking what happened to his phone and I did see that his best friend posted on his wall asking about his phone as well… so I am not the only he didnt give his new number too. I just never expected it to turn out like this, and I guess I’m the only at fault for giving it to him because my intentions behind the loan was that I would still have a reason to see him because I was only able to see him at work and when we would go out lunch. My fault I guess.

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]]> By: Daniel http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-3/#comment-1137042 Daniel Fri, 28 Jan 2011 22:04:30 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1137042 I would never loan money to friends. that only destroys the relationships. I keep money and friendship separate. If you dont want to lose your friends, then dont loan to them I would never loan money to friends. that only destroys the relationships. I keep money and friendship separate. If you dont want to lose your friends, then dont loan to them

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]]> By: Bill http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-3/#comment-1137032 Bill Fri, 28 Jan 2011 22:04:16 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1137032 I had a very close friend for 10+ years that was never very good with money. He ended up over the years to owe me several thousand dollars. It often came up and caused unnecessary stress in our friendship. He recently tragically died in an accident, and I tell you what, I wish I could go back and reclaim those useless moments. It just isn't worth it. I had a very close friend for 10+ years that was never very good with money. He ended up over the years to owe me several thousand dollars. It often came up and caused unnecessary stress in our friendship.

He recently tragically died in an accident, and I tell you what, I wish I could go back and reclaim those useless moments. It just isn’t worth it.

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]]> By: Becky http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2011/01/26/how-to-lend-money-to-friends-without-ruining-the-relationship/comment-page-3/#comment-1136992 Becky Fri, 28 Jan 2011 21:12:46 +0000 http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/?p=65362#comment-1136992 I loaned my son $500 about a yr ago. He has made no effort to pay me back & last month he was planning to spend $200 on something he did NOT need and I got angry about the $$ he loaned me.. A few weeks later he was fussing @ his little brother for owing him $50 he had not paid yet.. Their conversation made me think of a time when I heard Dave Ramsey say that if you ever loan $$ to a family member consider it a gift..cause you are not likely to get it back... I told him then if he never mentioned the $$ his brother owed to him again I would never mention the $$ he owes me again... It has been 2 weeks and so far nothing else has been said...BTW.. my kids are old enough to have a job and pay each other and me back.. I loaned my son $500 about a yr ago. He has made no effort to pay me back & last month he was planning to spend $200 on something he did NOT need and I got angry about the $$ he loaned me..
A few weeks later he was fussing @ his little brother for owing him $50 he had not paid yet.. Their conversation made me think of a time when I heard Dave Ramsey say that if you ever loan $$ to a family member consider it a gift..cause you are not likely to get it back…
I told him then if he never mentioned the $$ his brother owed to him again I would never mention the $$ he owes me again…
It has been 2 weeks and so far nothing else has been said…BTW.. my kids are old enough to have a job and pay each other and me back..

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