Ask the Readers: How Much Should You Spend on Self Improvement?
Published on - March 4th, 2011 (by J.D. Roth) Ah, it’s good to be home and finally getting back into something of a routine. As part of that routine, I’ve been reading hundreds of e-mails, including quite a few reader questions — like this one from Annie. Annie writes:
I’m 25, and starting to take personal finance seriously. I’m in graduate school, and am very fortunate to have an educational trust that allows me to do this without loans. Knowing how lucky I am, I live well below the means the trust could provide, hold an intense part-time job, and am working towards a career that will (hopefully) make sure my kids are given the same gift I was — the freedom to get the finest education they can manage without major debt.
Between my job and my trust, I have a good deal left over every month. I know I should do something productive with this money, but right now I’m mostly spending it on other stuff.
For example:
- I’m using some of the extra money for a CBT therapist.
- I bought myself a ticket to a museum gala I’ve always wanted to attend.
- I’ve decided to buy myself a massage once a month.
I don’t spend a lot on clothes or waxing or anything like that, because I’d rather do other things. I rarely go out to eat. I don’t have a car. I live in an unfashionable part of my city. I have no debt, and I save about $400 every month.
I think I’m doing okay, but I’m spending so much on “self improvement”. Heck, right now I’m also looking at brushing up on Spanish and taking an econ class (for fun!). Plus, I’m thinking about going back to the personal trainer I had for a while to jumpstart my physical fitness.
Here’s my big question: How much do people spend on “self improvement” and cultural stuff? How much becomes indulgent? Will I end up regretting all of this later? Does all this dabbling make me a trustifarian dilettante?
Leaving aside Annie’s awesome financial situation (cue Napoleon Dynamite voice: “Lucky!” — I wish I could have been a trustifarian dilettante), I want to address her main question: How much should a person spend on self improvement?
I’ve wondered the same thing. It’s no secret that I’m something of a personal-development junkie. I love reading about self improvement. More than that, I love putting what I read into practice. (Heck, there’s even been a self-improvement category at GRS since day one!)
Still, I recognize that there’s a lot of useless information out there. Plus, people like me are inclined to spend on self-help material…and then never act on it. (I may have read tons of books on self improvement, but I’ve only acted on a handful.)
Is it okay to spend on on self improvement? Absolutely. But you have to be smart about it. I give myself a little more lee-way for self-help spending — but not too much. It’s as easy to spend foolishly here as anywhere else.
Here are a few rules I’ve made for myself to be certain I’m paying for actual personal development and not for pipe dreams:
- Focus on one thing at a time. I know from experience that it’s tempting to tackle a lot of self improvement at once. This is a recipe for disaster. The more I try to change at once, the less I change at all — and the more I spend. Instead, I’ve learned to limit my ambitions. Just as I pursue only one resolution every new year, I try improve just one or two aspects of my life at a time. Otherwise, I end up spending a lot of money to do nothing.
- Pursue your goals. I want to do everything. I want to speak fifteen languages, play a dozen sports, fly an airplane, and sail a boat. But some of these things are just daydreams. Why do I want to fly an airplane? Instead, it makes more sense to spend my time and money on improving things that help me meet my goals. Since I want to travel, for example, I really should learn a language or two. And because I want to lose weight, it’s great to spend on a gym. But as much as it appeals to me, there’s no point in paying for woodworking classes or power tools. Sure, I’d love to make my own furniture, but that doesn’t really mesh with my long-term plans.
- If you don’t use it, stop paying for it. A lot of spending on self improvement is based on wishful thinking. We sign up for a gym, promising that we’ll go every day. Then we only go once, but we keep paying. This is foolish. Know yourself. Signing up for a gym won’t make you fit. Paying for a computer class won’t teach you programming. You still have to put in the time and effort. If you see you’re not doing this, ditch them. (And don’t worry about sunk costs.)
Also, it’s important not to delude yourself. In general, a massage is not a self-improvement expense; it’s a luxury. There’s nothing wrong with indulging in luxuries now and then, but don’t pretend they’re something they’re not. (I got my first massage two or three years ago because my doctor prescribed it as part of my physical therapy — I had a running injury — but subsequent massages are luxuries, pure and simple. If only there weren’t a massage therapist in the office next door…)
But to get back to Annie’s question: How much do you spend on self improvement and cultural activities? I’m not sure what’s normal, and I’m curious to hear what GRS readers have to say. (I suspect answers will vary widely.) Kris and I don’t spend a whole lot on cultural stuff (except for when we travel), but I probably spend a few hundred dollars a year on self improvement: books, classes, computer programs, and so on.
What about you? Do you pay for personal development? What sorts of things do you buy? How much do you spend? Which costs are worth it, and which are not? What rules have you developed to be sure you’re not wasting your money? What advice can you give Annie about deciding which expenses are worthwhile?
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Just as most discussions end up here, moderation is probably the best option. My fiance and i do crossfit, i play in a few volleyball leagues, and my fiance rides horses. All of these are things that we enjoy. We cut back in other areas SO we can do the things we want and not feel guilty. We got rid of cable, we don’t go out to eat or to the bar often, and we stay in to watch movies instead of going to the movie theater. This allows us to save a bunch for our upcoming wedding, still remove some debt each month, and once the weddings over in May, we’ll be able to save towards a honeymoon in Thailand over Christmas and a 2nd car.
The emailer is working a part time job and busting her ass to do things that she values in her life. I think we should use her as a model and applaud her.
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I don’t think the question should be, “How much should I spend?”; it’s, “How much should I have left each month?”
You stated that you only have about $400 left at the end of each month. Well, unless you have a rather large emergency fund saved up, I would advise that you spend much less and allow yourself at least $500 extra per month in the event that something catastrophic happens. Make sure that you have some money stashed away as well.
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CBT is worth every penny for a graduate student. Fortunately it is also a therapy of finite duration (usually 6 weeks), and should not be a permanent drain.
My big worry reading your list is *time* not money. What kind of graduate program are you at that is allowing you to pursue all of these activities (specifically two additional unrelated classes on top of a part-time job) and still get a degree? I would worry either about the quality of the program or at your speed of finishing. Are you sure this is putting you on the path of future prosperity? Would you be better off trying to get into a higher ranked program? Or finishing sooner? Or getting a full-time job?
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It sounds like Annie is young and just wants to explore different things that she’s interested in–I think it’s the perfect time to do it. She doesn’t have a lot of other expenses, she’s not going into debt, and she’s able to put money away at the end of the month. In my book, she’s already 80% ahead of the general population at this stage in her life.
Obviously, times will change, trusts will end, expenses will creep up, etc…so expectations will need to be adjusted as she moves forward in her life. But for now–I say go for it!
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I think it’s incredibly important to invest in yourself, but obviously not as the only way you spend your extra money (I support giving it away too). I don’t have a set goal, but I usually try to spend about 5% of my income. Most of this goes towards buying books for pleasure reading, buying experiences (like travel or skydiving, which I’m doing in April), and spending it on other people (like taking someone out to lunch who I value). Not everything we spend is going to give us an physical return on investment, but the more seeds you plant today, the more you open up to the opportunity to grow in the future.
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Annie is young (25). As Warren Buffet says (paraphrasing), investing in yourself is the best investment. So I think she should not hesitate to (reasonably) invest in herself. This is a great opportunity to “buy stock” in something valuable early on! Stock market watchers would kill for this opportunity!
The line is a little blurry between self-improvement and luxuries. Determining what is which is the tricky part. For example, improving one’s health through diet and exercise is an almost guaranteed way to improve many aspects of your life, so if you can afford it there’s no reason not to invest in one’s self here (although I’d argue neither should be that expensive).
But what about something like learning a language? Being able to converse with foreigners is nice, but is it really advancing your goals in life? On the flip side, I could argue that the exercise it gives your brain (and the neural pathways it creates) could vastly improve your cognitive abilities and help you reach your goals. So, which is it?
Massages and museum galas are a little harder to justify, but one could probably argue for them as well. I think in these cases you should be honest and budget them as entertainment / luxuries.
Does anyone have a quick and dirty test for what is a valid investment in yourself and what is a luxury?
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Annie wouldn’t even be asking this question if she were Parisian. Americans have a very utilitarian bent that tends to undervalue “luxuries” like art and culture. I think it’s sad to only focus on things that will help us meet goals or improve our financial standing. If Annie can afford it and feels comfortable with her decisions, I tell her to enjoy it.
I would, however, suggest that she consider giving to others as part of her self-improvement budget. Sharing her time or money with a cause that’s important to her will bring as much enrichment to her life as art, or therapy, or a massage.
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I spend about $500 on my self each month for “self development”. In fact, this pays for a country club membership that I really enjoy. Here’s why I consider that to be self development spending for me:
– I’m a commercial banker, and golfing with customers is so I have to do a lot. I need a lot of practice.
– Along the same lines as point #1, it helps to have a nice place to take my customers to play.
– I consider it great experience to have frequent interaction with “country club people”. They are typically small business and corporate executives. These are exactly the people I am trying to network with and get as future customers.
– I really enjoy golfing, and having ready access to play any time I want without it being crowded is wonderful for my mental health.
– The club has a nice dining facility and swimming facility, both of which my wife loves. This definitely enhances the relationship between me and my wife.
$500 per month seems a small price to pay for all that.
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The fine line between luxury and self improvement is difficult to see. I disagree that massage is a luxury- to some. The importance of touch and time to let your mind wander is very important.
No, I do not get massages- but my dad did once a week. He came back to work completely ready to roll. He did not go to gyms for workouts- but walked a great deal.
A museum gala is more difficult to justify unless the graduate degree is in art history and she is looking for a position in the museum later.Joining the museum is more understandable.
Basically, I am assuming she was brought up upper middle class and these (therapy, massage and galas) are a part of her culture. If she lands a big money job they can continue. If she turns out to land something like the majority of the middle class- she needs to drop these in order to save so she can give her children the chance at what she has- even if she was brought up French.
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This may be overly picky, but I disagree with the statement that massage is (or is pretty much always) a luxury. I get massages on a monthly basis to release the muscles in my shoulders and back, because I’m a bit of a stress case, and otherwise I get muscle spasms and migraines. The massages are a monthly expense that allow me to avoid greater problems (missing work, for example) down the road.
So yes, she may be getting a “relaxation rubdown” that doesn’t have therapeutic value – but the massages may also be directly contributing to her physical wellbeing. Much less of a luxury in that case.
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I think a lot of the “self-improvement” activities discussed in this post are great investments. Therapy is typically in my “needs” and not “wants” category and is something I consider to be a fantastic investment. The person who knows him/herself is infinitely better equipped in so many different ways than the person who does not. (Full disclosure: I’m a bit biased on this, as I am a therapist also.) Learning another language is also an excellent idea. This is an area in which most Americans fall painfully short. In many other areas, people do not have the luxury of being able to speak one language only. I say go for it. The museums and massages and all are a tougher call. Personally, I’d do those less often but would not cut them out entirely. But ultimately, this is a very personal choice.
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I think the benefits of massage are being undervalued here. I am also a grad student and, being in the sciences, get paid to earn my degree. Every 6 weeks or so I get a deep tissue massage because I’ve got pretty knotty muscles that hydration, yoga, and post-run stretching alone don’t take care of. I consider it worth the expense to minimize long-term injury from running and the day-to-day pain I experience otherwise. Too many people that could really benefit from massage don’t do them because they are seen as a “luxury” instead of a health expense, particularly in American culture.
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“Self improvement” has a connotation of indulgence, but in the case of Annie, I can see smart, practical advantages to almost all of her choices.
1. CBT therapy. Good therapy at a young age can have a huge beneficial impact on every future life decision.
2. The museum gala may be an extravagance, but if it’s a one-time deal, not a repeated act, I don’t have a problem with it.
3. I’m not a massage person myself, but my friends who are say it’s an incredible de-stressor and worth every penny. Annie could check out local massage schools who often offer reduced prices for a student massage.
4. Spanish. Brushing up on Spanish is not just fun, it’s also extremely practical, given that the number of Spanish-dominant speakers in the U.S. are projected to increase by 45% in the next 15 years. Mastery of Spanish may increase her marketability.
5. Studying Econ– learning about economics and finance once again seems very helpful. I wish I had known more about economics when I was in my 20s.
6. Hiring a physical trainer. I’m a big believer that investing in personal health and fitness is a wise use of funds. She could try it on a short-term basis to make sure she uses the trainer.
None of these expenses strikes me as foolish or overly indulgent. In fact all of them (other than the museum gala) seem like they will enhance her in very practical ways.
I think I’m doing okay, but I’m spending so much on “self improvement”. Heck, right now I’m also looking at brushing up on Spanish and taking an econ class (for fun!). Plus, I’m thinking about going back to the personal trainer I had for a while to jumpstart my physical fitness.
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She is supposed to be a Graduate Student, shouldn’t she be spending her time working on Graduating?
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I spent a fair amount on CBT as a grad student.
What surprises me was that you mentioned being a grad student and paying for an econ class. I guess you’re a professional student? If you’re getting a masters or PhD, you can usually just ask to sit in on a class. Mostly, though, I’m wondering why you want to take a class v. read the best books and papers from the syllabus and watch choice lectures online. Training myself not to take classes and to teach myself was a large part of my graduate education…
…though I did receive, as a Christmas present, some art classes involving equipment I can’t otherwise get access to. I don’t consider it self-improvement, though.
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p.s. I also don’t understand the point of taking a formal Spanish class. It’s an easy language, so you can teach yourself and practice with someone off of CL. Sometimes I feel that by going to classes, I’m purposely copping out b/c I’m going at a slower rate than I would on my own. The class gives me a false sense of accomplishment. YMMV. Some classes are worth it if they’re taught by amazing professors, but I think intro classes can be a waste of time and money.
@David, who asked how to distinguish between “a valid investment in yourself and … a luxury.” This is just asking for all kinds of normative b.s. Who’s to say how much you “deserve” to “invest” in yourself? What does that even mean when millions of people don’t and have never had access to clean water or a basic education, and you’ve grown up thinking you can mostly get what you want, as long as you “work hard” and pay for it?
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I would disagree that a massage is a luxury. If she is talking about a relaxing day at the spa, yes it is. If she is talking about deep tissue massage that helps with flexibility and back pain, then no. At her age, she probably doesn’t have problems, but later in life, a massage is a great investment in health. No, I’m not a massage therapist, just a woman who is so grateful to have found a therapist 10 years ago.
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David,
I do not have the “quick and dirty” test you requested and I can offer a different perspective about what qualifies as a luxury or a valid investment in oneself.
I view massage as vital to my on-going good health and not a luxury. Eight years ago I opted to get a massage once per month. I rarely catch a cold or get sick. I am a teacher and work round hundreds of adults and children daily. I attribute much of my good health to massage.
On the other hand, after working with a personal trainer, I dropped my gym membership. Most of the exercises she built into my plan involved hand weights, a ball, and riding the exercise bike for cardio. I purchased my own hand weights, ball, and began substituting hiking on local trails for riding the bike and it works for me.
I don’t think there is a one-size fits all test to differentiate between a luxury and a tool for personal growth/improvement. In my own life I try to make intentional choices, have some way to measure the “bang for the buck” and work within my budget.
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Wow. A lot of massage supporters here. You may cause me to re-evaluate how I see them…
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Since I live in a foreign country (Poland), I’d say the language classes are important to improving yourself. I know I’ve changed since living here, but Americans are terribly “English centered” and self-centered in the area of language. Learning Spanish should make you more marketable and it is too bad that all schools don’t require more language skills just to graduate.
Here in Poland they consider English a part of the educational system and a requirement as part of a basic education and not “self-improvement” any more than learning History and Science are.
Massage and gym and all the rest? If you’ve got the money…and feel comfortable with it…go for it. You’re keeping the economy going and if everyone cut them, all those massage therapists and gyms would go out of business. How good would that be?
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I have to agree with Becky P. about the importance of learning a second language. Not only are Americans English-centric, so many Americans care nothing about what happens outside our borders. Learnign more about the culture of people from different backgrounds, and the viewpoints of other countries, can only broaden the poster’s mind. Additionally, there is so much research about the cognitive benefits of speaking more than one languages, particularly in old age.
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$400 a month is a lot of money. Give some $ to worthy cause/charity, it will make you feel a better person. Travel to a poor country so you can see how $400 can help an village/town. Not only it will change your life but you can change other children’s life as well.
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The only self-improvement that I do for myself is go to the gym. That cost is included in our HOA fees. I don’t color my hair or even cut it. My husband trims it for me every few years. I buy make-up ever five years or so (sad, but true). I do buy clothing once a year. We don’t go out to eat. I think self-improvement is great and feel that if anyone can afford it and enjoys it, why not? Massage, salon visits, nail appointments, all of that. If you feel better about yourself from it, then it’s a plus. I enjoy dealing with the public (I’m in retail) when they are in a good mood!
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This strikes me as a wonderful problem to have – would that we all could be guiltily rich in grad school!
Perhaps rather than thinking in terms of what is OK for “self-improvement” or “luxuries” or whatever, maybe it is easier to set benchmarks for neccessities (saving X% for long-term goals; X% for short-term goals; etc.) and then the rest of the money can be spent on whatever you want.
And I might suggest, given that the government doesn’t think the wealthy ought to share equitably, consider setting aside X% for charitable giving in some capacity. If the Libertarians are going to run the government, at least prove them right that the wealthy will use their money in ways that will benefit the rest of us!
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For all of you arguing against the arts as self improvement, think again. Art (making, viewing, etc.) promotes the following:
-critical thinking
-active learning
-creative problem solving
Wouldn’t you want to have those skills to apply to the rest of your life– maybe the personal finance side of your life?
And, Pamela (#7) has a point. In education, math and science are promoted here– arts are the first to be cut. I feel the “utilitarian” lens is an accurate description.
Lastly, “Kris and I don’t spend a whole lot on cultural stuff”. I know that you spend less on comic books now, J.D., but do you not consider them cultural stuff or art?
Full disclosure: I am an artist and was an art educator for several years
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Would the museum gala count as giving? Aren’t those at least nominally fundraisers? I see no problem with supporting local nonprofits occasionally – it’s good for the whole community.
We’re both grad students living on a shoestring and we still strive to support causes and organizations that matter to us, including museums, when we can. So I think supporting a local museum could possibly fit in the “giving” category.
I have another mostly-broke grad student friend who buys season tickets to the opera every year. She basically lives on lentils and rice to do so, but it gives her great pleasure and supports the local arts.
I also find the commentary from people who wonder why she has free time at all to be a little vexing. In many graduate programs there exists that long, slow slog called a thesis or dissertation. Some kind of outside interest is imperative to keep from losing your mind.
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A great question, and one that my husband and I have struggled with. Similar to what J.D. suggests, we’ve identified the things that are important to us and built our self-improvement splurges around those. For example, our health and fitness are very important to us. We’re Crossfit athletes, and that’s not cheap, but the results are worth it. However, TV in no way fits into our long-term goals so we’ve never paid for cable (and probably never will).
I’ve found there are often more price-effective ways to reach your end goal. I won’t give up my Crossfit classes, but I’ve found that I can barter for part of my monthly fee (dropping my costs by $30/month!). Can you find a Spanish tutor and barter for those services? Or create a Spanish club? Or maybe just find some Spanish-speaking friends?
I guess the bottom line is that I’m always looking for more cost-effective ways to fund our lifestyle choices. And also recognized that there are times to “pass” on an opportunity, even if you can afford it.
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I’ve spent years pouring money into my kids’ self improvement — violin lessons, ballet, dance lessons, you name it. Now that they are older (18 and 13) I’ve noticed all this has slowed down dramatically, and I’m saving money on their “extracurricular” activities. But I’m also beginning to realize that now I can afford some self-improvement for myself! Ah, the benefits of getting older! I’m taking horseback riding lessons and a foreign language class. All relatively inexpensive ($20 each horse lesson, 2x a month and $90 for a 10 week Portuguese language lesson in our community education program). Before I didn’t have time — but now these little perks have really made all the difference for me!
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Do It. As Much As Possible. NOW. Because when you have a husband and those little ones you are hoping for, you will likely not have the time, energy, interest, and/or money for it. I know – I’m living it.
In my 30s, I pursued all sorts of personal growth activities – two graduate degrees, reading, non-degree-related classes, therapy, workshops. After I married, I became an instant mother to a 5-year-old boy. I’ve taken one class in 11 years (and that was about living trusts, not personal growth!). Reading has become a vacation-only task. If there’s any extra time at the end of the day or money at the end of the month, the family’s needs take precedence, not my personal interests.
I’m not saying I regret any of this or wish it had been different. I’m saying that our life changes as we move through it — fully embrace where you’re at to the extent you are able.
These are the years and activities that will shape the person you are. Another way to look at it is that the more you grow personally, the more you will have to offer to the small lives you hope to nurture one day.
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This is a personal and values based question. Follow these recommendations and you will be set up nicely for your entire life!
1. Make sure you have a separate emergency fund, 3-6 months of living expenses in a savings/credit union account.
2. Save for any intermediate term goals, ie home, vacation, furniture, nicer apartment.
3. Save for retirement in a Roth IRA, up to the maximum allowed by law, $5,000.
4. Spend what’s left!
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I second the notion that one should not spend on more than one self improvement/personality development item at a time. It spreads you think, shows little progress. I think the following areas are absolutely important as life skills:
1. Critical thinking
2. Negotiation skills
3. Personal productivity
4. Speed reading
and anything else that helps you learn better and faster.
In all, you can’t rely on personal development books and products to provide you with all of ideas. Solutions that one must devise for oneself – practices and habits that will work for you, possibly only for you.
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As a marketer, I tend to view spending money on self-improvement in terms of ROI (return on investment). My one question is: for every dollar spent, how many will I get in return?
While it’s not always easily measurable, you can guesstimate things like getting a massage by figuring out how much more productive and enjoyable your life is with one vs without one.
My general rule of thumb is:
ROI = 10x (as in, every $1 I spend returns $10) is the bare minimum
20x should be average
100x is exceptional
It’s not about how much money you should spend, it’s how much value you’re going to get.
Some people have mentioned the Spanish class being unnecessary. They say buy a book, buy a less expensive program, or do some other cheaper option. However, if learning how to speak the language as fast as possible, or learning as much of the language as possible is your main goal, a good class will always outdo a book or do-it-yourself program. Make sure you measure such things when you’re thinking about ROI.
To finish the Spanish class analogy:
$30 gets you a learn to speak Spanish program and nothing else.
$500 gets you a class, an experiences teacher, classmates to learn with, practice with, and encourage each other, and most importantly, it FORCES you to learn the language. All things you cannot easily replace without spending a considerable amount of time or money.
Good luck!
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JD made the point I was going to make – don’t confuse spending money on self-improvement classes, books, DVDs or equipment as actual self-improvement. You probably shouldn’t even talk about your plans!
I also agree with the other Louisa, #13, about the museum gala and for me that applies to other stuff too – if it’s a one time/fixed short term thing, don’t beat yourself up about it as much. Obviously there is the risk you’ll get addicted to museum galas but there is a stronger possibility you’ll get it out of your system for now.
Languages are always useful and I personally would also recommend taking any classes that will interest you — but keep in mind what comes off as “interested & knowledgeable in a wide range of subjects” to some people (like me), may come off as unfocused to other people.
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Personally, I think that what you are doing is awesome. You want to put yourself in a strong enough financial situation that you can put your own kids through college? That’s awesome. And the personal development — particularly the cultural and CBT investments will help you grow as a person, meaning you’ll have more to share with your kids when you have them. I think a lot of people fail to realize that once you settle down and have a family, you no longer have the time and money to grow. A lot of people (not all, but a lot) stop growing as people once they settle down, so take the chance while you have it! Also, try to do things that will have longer-term effects — if you learn yoga (for example) well enough to practice on your own, you will have something you can use to relax and get centered when you are shorter on time and money in the future.
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In my experience, investing in yourself pays back, whether in increased self-confidence, friends, or a job where that off-beat skill turns out to be the thing that makes you stand out from the crowd.
However. As some people pointed out – time. Don’t try to do everything. Pick what you want and do that well rather than doing lots of things a little. Also, look at discount/free ways of investing (e.g. books from the library, student discounts, free online courses/lectures such as iTunesU)
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As a graduate student, I find it really important to find money in my budget for “self improvement” or stress reducing activities.
For me, this involves a gym membership (I do not like working out at the campus gym), a climbing gym membership and investing in good quality running shoes. I get occasional massages since I’m prove to storing all my stress in my neck and shoulders causing severe tension headaches. I buy books that have nothing to do with what I study so I can read for pleasure, an activity I’ve always loved. I’m willing to spend money on fresh fruit and vegetables all year long. I haven’t taken language classes, but it’s something I’ve thought about.
While I agree that supporting charities is a worthwhile cause, as a graduate student my income is so low, that any extra money I have I save and invest. I don’t know how much money I’ll have a year from now. I do give $20 here and there to support friends and colleagues. I look forward to a time when I can donate more freely
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I’ve recently realized that for me, true self-improvement involves time rather than money. Ie. time spent in church, reading spiritual writings, and volunteering.
That being said, I spend $69/month on my gym membership (and actually use it) and have been buying more books than usual since the nearest branch of my public library closed for renovations. I also donate about $20 a month to my church.
EDIT: For the record, I did try to find a way to phrase the first paragraph without sounding like a holier-than-thou jack@ss. It’s just that I spent years and a lot of money trying to make myself happy and failed spectacularly. Then I found a spiritual practice and community that taught me to focus outwards rather than inwards and I’m a lot better off for it.
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I think personal development is one of the crucial investments in life JD. Yes have a pension, yes buy property, but yes also invest in who you are as YOU are your own major asset. Your not worth-less if you don’t but you are price-less if you do. Delve inside and discover the diamonds naturally shining. Just make sure you don’t spend all your time trying and tasting and no time starting and evolving.
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I applaud Annie for deciding to spend money on CBT, massage therapy, and a museum gala. Graduate school can be really stressful, and it is important to take care of your health and also find ways to have fun outside of school. As a recent graduate school student, I can attest to this, and I wish I had been better about taking care of myself. I wish I had gotten regular massages (and worked out more) during school- I would be in less pain now. I am getting them on a regular basis now anyway! Massage is actually considered a form of alternative or complementary medicine and has been found to be helpful in reducing stress, anxiety, depression, pain, and stiffness. It also improves blood and lymph circulation, boosts immunity, and more. Some insurance providers cover massage and you can always go to a massage therapy school for a cheaper massage.
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I’d say throw everything you got at it. If “self-improvement” means you become a more educated, more productive, wiser and saner person, I’d put no caps on it, provided that you are meeting your responsibilities, avoiding debt, and saving for the future.
FIRST:
Therapy is the best education I ever got. I got it free as a health benefit while being a TA in gradschool. I learned a lot more in therapy than in gradschool. Go for it! A clear mind is a priceless asset.
THE REST:
As a small business owner (*micro* business really), I get to deduct education as a business expense, because it is understood that I need to keep up with developments in my field or I’ll become the next beeper salesman.
One thing I’d say though: while general knowledge adds a lot of dimension to your life, it does not usually impact directly on income generation– specialized knowledge does that. I know many broke human encyclopaedias. So make sure that you don’t lose sight of your professional goals when you spend on self-improvement.
Speaking Spanish is nice (I do since I was a baby), but is it something you do for fun or is something you will use for work, e.g., do you do international business or are you planning to work in Latin America?
You can go to the museum for free during the day (well, depending on where you live). A museum gala is not self-improvement unless it’s for networking in your professional field. If it’s not, it’s just a party. Fancy party, but a party nevertheless, but with the danger that it could catapult you into the ranks of the aspirational rich–unless you’re already loaded. I suggest reading The Millionaire Next Door and Stop Acting Rich for a good look at this. And also read Thorsten Veblen’s “The Theory of the Leisure Class”, which is a hilarious (and scary) book that relates very much to this subject.
Re: massage. Yes! I love massages but can’t always afford the spa version. They are great for your well-being. There are alternatives to the fancy version– you can get massage discounts through some health insurance plans, for example, and you can get them at clinics. My wife and I do the cheap version: we bought a massage book and learned. We’re not as skilled as a pro but it’s still very nice!
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About the Spanish classes: while in grad school I taught Spanish to undergrads. I think college language instruction is a racket. There are much better places to learn a language than in college– the best one is to travel and enroll in a school abroad. You’ll practice 24/7 (yes, you’ll start to dream in Spanish). There are also language schools where people are highly motivated and groups are kept small (e.g. Berlitz, etc.). College classes involve large groups of people who practice with themselves instead of being one-on-one with a teacher.
Besides, undergrads are largely a spoiled unruly bunch who want to get an A for as little work as possible– yes, I did love my students, they were nice kids, and I did my best to teach them, but I know a good chunk of them was not mature enough to take their education seriously, they just went through the motions.
Also, since they were all English speakers, they immediately defaulted to speaking English when not compelled to do otherwise. They don’t walk out of class speaking Spanish– they switch to English and quickly forget Spanish exists.
It’s best to go deep and learn among native speakers who don’t speak your language. In spite of years of English lessons in my country of birth (I knew how to put together a sentence in the past perfect and developed a nice vocabulary), I didn’t really speak English until I came to US and started working in a bar… oh, drinking in another language will get your linguistic engines firing on all cylinders for sure–minus the loss in IQ points due to the booze, but still…
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I disagree that a massage is a luxury. I suffered a shoulder injury years ago that cannot be surgically fixed. I used to have massages every week to get the pain under control and now I have one every month or so. If I miss a month I can feel the tightness return and severe pain will soon follow. Thankfully insurance covers most of it but not all massages are luxuries.
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Being Italian and having graduated in Foreign Languages, I know how different it is to learn a language similar to your own or not. My experience: I know English very well, read lots of books in the original version etc and I frequently revise translations as a job, but I feel like I’m still learning. English, for Italian speakers, is not only a difficult language but a whole new frame of mind, that’s why so many people don’t go further than a “tourist” level. On the contrary, French I’ve never been so keen about, I rarely read books in original – and yet when I have to revise a French translation it’s easy-peasy.
Ok, all this to say that I agree: English speakers should learn Spanish with a teacher.
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I think any money invested in yourself is money well spent. Of course you can always go overboard as with anything in life, but if you have the extra funds to do it, there’s not much better way to spend money than in things that will enrich and reward your hard work.
Some personal fitness hobbies are very expensive (cycling for example is a great hobby for personal fitness, but can easily break your bank if you want the best gear). Again, just keeping it within moderation, if these things make you a better/happier/healthier person, you can’t always measure the intangible differences it makes in your life and your career.
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I think we are losing perspective on the definition of a true luxury. If we go back to the very basic personal finance concept of distinguishing between costs that are needs and those that are wants, I think it is very simple to see that something such as a massage is certainly a want and not a need. Needs are things we must have to survise, whereas wants are purely luxuries. I am confident anyone can survive without a massage. I am in a similar position as the young lady asking the question (1st degree earned without loans, working full-time making decent salary, attending grad school part-time, and still with money left over to save). I have never had a massage in my entire life. To each, his own, but let’s not confuse massages with things we need.
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I need regular massage because of the stress my work puts on specific muscle groups. It comes under the heading “an ounce of prevention”. My massage therapist is my hero! We have a massage therapy school nearby (where he is also an instructor) where you can go for discount massages with students under supervision; I’m not sure how readily available that is for most folks.
I take Tai Chi classes twice a week – run by volunteers, so the fee is a mere $26/month, and my husband and I take ballroom dancing lessons weekly plus group classes – great physical AND mental exercise, and good relationship building/social angle. Our membership – for both of us – is about $150 a month, and it’s money fabulously spent.
I work in the arts, so I tend to go to a lot of arts events, but for me, it is a partial tax writeoff, so I can easily justify it. I would agree with an earlier poster that North Americans underappreciate the impact the arts can play in their lives and in our culture as a whole. If more of us participated, I think we would be healthier for it; just my personal opinion.
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Personal trainers are great, but a more budget friendly option is a group training class. The work-outs in bootcamp-style classes are usually progressive, and you get more attention from the instructor than you would in a typical gym class. I took a kettle bell class at the Y this winter: it really helped me reach my fitness goals, while staying on my budget.
I evaluate self-improvement expenses by how much use I get from them. A massage leaves me feeling good for days. I use my gym regularly. The gardening class that I never prepped for and the ukulele that I never play (though affordable) were not great investments.
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The only “self improvement” item I indulge in is my gym membership – something I use 4-5 days out of the week. Because I have MS – weight training, cardio, Yoga, etc is almost a requirement for me to stay mobile, flexible, fit and healthy. I also have insulin resistance so exercise (as well as diet) is a must. Not having it is not an option for my health and well-being.
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Annie’s question is fascinating. It gets back to values. And while it’s good to get other people’s feedback on your choices and what is worth it, in the end this is Your life and these are Your choices to make.
My husband and I used to make it a point to attend one live music event every month. Before we had children we took tango lessons together and went dancing at least once a week.
And before we even met, both of us spent time and money partying and socializing in Washington, DC (although in very different social worlds – he was in the art scene while I was hanging out with diplomats, politicians and journalists.) Even partying can be self-improvement if you’re socializing with people who can improve your career. The country club membership mentioned above is a good example of this.
Just like JD and a few others mentioned, though, you can’t spread yourself too thin. If you are pursuing a graduate degree and a part-time job, one self-improvement or extra-curricular activity is probably enough.
(And that advice goes even – perhaps especially – for professional party-goers
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The amount you should spend? Not very much.
Personal improvement is done via experience and hard work. You can’t out-source it and pay other people to do it for you.
You want to run a five-minute mile? Maybe joining a gym will help, or hiring a trainer, but mostly *you’re going to have to do a lot of running*.
I remember reading an interview with a successful small sailboat racer, and someone asked him what he does to get so fast. His answer?
“Time in the boat.”
You want to be better? Practice. It’s inexpensive in almost every endeavor that you might try and improve at. Practice.
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This is a timely post, since I am in the midst of a ten-week self-improvement period. I set this in motion for three reasons: the excesses of the holidays left me feeling bad, my Mom was diagnosed with cancer and I had to fly east to help her through surgery (she is fine, all clear!), which resulted in me self-medicating with sweets and red wine to alleviate stress, and I was just feeling generally lost and dissatisfied.
I already go to a Crossfit gym but I pre-paid for 20 one-on-one sessions with my favorite trainer, 2 per week for 10 weeks. I pre-paid for 10 massages, one per week. I met with a dietitian and tweaked my diet. I eliminated alcohol completely for one month. I started volunteering one day per week at my local food bank, handing out food and stocking shelves.
Because I pre-paid for the training and massages, I got a big discount, but it was still a lot of money to hand over. I pulled it away from other things I was saving for (car, and travel). I don’t regret it a bit. I’m seeing and feeling results and I feel much more focused. The thing that’s probably made the biggest difference, however, is volunteering at the food bank, which costs me nothing. It feels so good to be of use in such a tangible way, and it also keeps my day-to-day problems in perspective. I am reminded how fortunate I am, and it makes me more grateful for what I have. (Less wasteful, too.)
Last year I took a 9-month fiction writing course through a university extension. I work in a creative field so I was able to get my employer to cover the costs. It was a three-hour class every Wednesday night; definitely a time commitment, and a bit out of my comfort zone, but it was the best thing I’ve done in years! I’ve also taken Italian and Spanish and would like to jump back into that.
I have never regretted a single thing I’ve done in the name of self-improvement. I think the key is actually DOING it, not just signing up and not following through (gym memberships are the prime example).
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