Ask the Readers: How Much Should You Spend on Self Improvement?
Published on - March 4th, 2011 (by J.D. Roth) Ah, it’s good to be home and finally getting back into something of a routine. As part of that routine, I’ve been reading hundreds of e-mails, including quite a few reader questions — like this one from Annie. Annie writes:
I’m 25, and starting to take personal finance seriously. I’m in graduate school, and am very fortunate to have an educational trust that allows me to do this without loans. Knowing how lucky I am, I live well below the means the trust could provide, hold an intense part-time job, and am working towards a career that will (hopefully) make sure my kids are given the same gift I was — the freedom to get the finest education they can manage without major debt.
Between my job and my trust, I have a good deal left over every month. I know I should do something productive with this money, but right now I’m mostly spending it on other stuff.
For example:
- I’m using some of the extra money for a CBT therapist.
- I bought myself a ticket to a museum gala I’ve always wanted to attend.
- I’ve decided to buy myself a massage once a month.
I don’t spend a lot on clothes or waxing or anything like that, because I’d rather do other things. I rarely go out to eat. I don’t have a car. I live in an unfashionable part of my city. I have no debt, and I save about $400 every month.
I think I’m doing okay, but I’m spending so much on “self improvement”. Heck, right now I’m also looking at brushing up on Spanish and taking an econ class (for fun!). Plus, I’m thinking about going back to the personal trainer I had for a while to jumpstart my physical fitness.
Here’s my big question: How much do people spend on “self improvement” and cultural stuff? How much becomes indulgent? Will I end up regretting all of this later? Does all this dabbling make me a trustifarian dilettante?
Leaving aside Annie’s awesome financial situation (cue Napoleon Dynamite voice: “Lucky!” — I wish I could have been a trustifarian dilettante), I want to address her main question: How much should a person spend on self improvement?
I’ve wondered the same thing. It’s no secret that I’m something of a personal-development junkie. I love reading about self improvement. More than that, I love putting what I read into practice. (Heck, there’s even been a self-improvement category at GRS since day one!)
Still, I recognize that there’s a lot of useless information out there. Plus, people like me are inclined to spend on self-help material…and then never act on it. (I may have read tons of books on self improvement, but I’ve only acted on a handful.)
Is it okay to spend on on self improvement? Absolutely. But you have to be smart about it. I give myself a little more lee-way for self-help spending — but not too much. It’s as easy to spend foolishly here as anywhere else.
Here are a few rules I’ve made for myself to be certain I’m paying for actual personal development and not for pipe dreams:
- Focus on one thing at a time. I know from experience that it’s tempting to tackle a lot of self improvement at once. This is a recipe for disaster. The more I try to change at once, the less I change at all — and the more I spend. Instead, I’ve learned to limit my ambitions. Just as I pursue only one resolution every new year, I try improve just one or two aspects of my life at a time. Otherwise, I end up spending a lot of money to do nothing.
- Pursue your goals. I want to do everything. I want to speak fifteen languages, play a dozen sports, fly an airplane, and sail a boat. But some of these things are just daydreams. Why do I want to fly an airplane? Instead, it makes more sense to spend my time and money on improving things that help me meet my goals. Since I want to travel, for example, I really should learn a language or two. And because I want to lose weight, it’s great to spend on a gym. But as much as it appeals to me, there’s no point in paying for woodworking classes or power tools. Sure, I’d love to make my own furniture, but that doesn’t really mesh with my long-term plans.
- If you don’t use it, stop paying for it. A lot of spending on self improvement is based on wishful thinking. We sign up for a gym, promising that we’ll go every day. Then we only go once, but we keep paying. This is foolish. Know yourself. Signing up for a gym won’t make you fit. Paying for a computer class won’t teach you programming. You still have to put in the time and effort. If you see you’re not doing this, ditch them. (And don’t worry about sunk costs.)
Also, it’s important not to delude yourself. In general, a massage is not a self-improvement expense; it’s a luxury. There’s nothing wrong with indulging in luxuries now and then, but don’t pretend they’re something they’re not. (I got my first massage two or three years ago because my doctor prescribed it as part of my physical therapy — I had a running injury — but subsequent massages are luxuries, pure and simple. If only there weren’t a massage therapist in the office next door…)
But to get back to Annie’s question: How much do you spend on self improvement and cultural activities? I’m not sure what’s normal, and I’m curious to hear what GRS readers have to say. (I suspect answers will vary widely.) Kris and I don’t spend a whole lot on cultural stuff (except for when we travel), but I probably spend a few hundred dollars a year on self improvement: books, classes, computer programs, and so on.
What about you? Do you pay for personal development? What sorts of things do you buy? How much do you spend? Which costs are worth it, and which are not? What rules have you developed to be sure you’re not wasting your money? What advice can you give Annie about deciding which expenses are worthwhile?
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I second Barbara, #30. First figure out recurring expenses, saving, retirement. Once you figure that out, whatever is left over spend as you please, whether it is massages, eyebrow plucking, museum galas, etc. I guess I am afraid of people using the term “self improvement” to put it in a need category to rationalize the spending so it doesn’t have to fit what their agreed-upon budget is.
I guess I’ve know people who can spend immense amounts of money on themselves under the guise of “self-improvement” so I am a bit biased here.
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I am actually in a very similar situation as Annie. I am attending graduate school on a scholarship and had my undergrad paid for by my parents, so I don’t have any debt.
I don’t think the spending Annie describes is too much. My spending has been quite similar. For myself, I am paying for pilates classes right now and am planning on taking a Japanese class with my boyfriend over the summer.
Also, I think it is important to make a distinction between health expenses and self improvement expenses. For example, I consider gym memberships, physical therapy, and psychotherapy as health expenses rather than self improvement expenses because they are important to my base physical and mental well being.
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How much should you spend on self-improvement?
$Zero!
The self in its ideal form already exists; it cannot be “improved” it can only be uncovered and discovered….
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I dont have a set amount a month, but when buying something I always ask myself “Will this enhance myself as a person or enhance the value of my life?” If I can’t answer that as a yes, I usually dont buy things. I splurge once in a while though, but this helps prevent wasting money on nonsense that you dont really need.
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Self-Improvement is totally in my “maybe one day I can afford it” bucket and why? Because I started a family at a young age. I say go for it– all of it: educational, cultural, etc. The only thing *I* would suggest is to do a better job consolidating. For instance, during spring break, summer, or something similiar you may want to look into some sort of charitable program that will take you to a country in latin america to do some sort of work there. That’s big time self-improvement: giving, language, culture, new skills, etc. With projects like these, you get way more bang for your buck than just taking a class here, or doing a program there, or whatever. At least, that’s my thinking. I’d have done it that way if I’d known about all of the opportunities out there and I will definitely be encouraging my children when it’s their turn. Self-improvement doesn’t have to cost you much more than your time if you look in creative places. I unfortunately don’t have time OR money for it. One day…
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I think we can’t afford NOT to spend money (or at least time) on personal improvement. In the past few years since I’ve consciously increased the amount of time and money I spend on professional/personal development (including books, classes, certification fees), my salary + bonus package has nearly tripled. I plan to spend more this year than I did last year on personal improvement, and I also fully expect to see continued gains in my income, savings rate, and personal satisfaction. Some of this investment will go toward me developing side income streams, also. I find the more I spend on personal improvement, the more I enjoy and feel like I am in control of my life.
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It depends on where you live. Culture and self-improvement can vary widely in price. My old spin class in a metro area was $18 per class. Here in my new locale, it’s $3. When I paid $18, though, I didn’t regret it at all. It was completely worth it, in my opinion. Maybe that’s the key. Are you getting out of it as much or more as you put in? I don’t hesitate to drop $$ on good running shoes and bike equipment, on fitness, on therapy, and on books. My next tier includes museum ticket fees, cultural group membership dues, and self-improvement classes like painting or CPR.
I think it’s good to figure out a way to do more of the things that bring you happiness and fulfillment, even if they’re not considered “necessities.”
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Why not look at the free alternatives to self-improvement first?
There are free books (library), classes, websites, e-courses, and e-books to take advantage of. You’ll find them in every subject imaginable.
Almost every city will have student exhibits, art meetings, and free art events to participate in. (Students get in free or deep discount for some museum events).
Instead of the gym- why not a consistent schedule of biking/running/walking to see how that works? (I don’t have the will power to do this yet- so no gym for me. It will be a waste
)
I take full advantage of self-improvement options that are enriching and healthy- without paying a cent.
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Caly, if you find yourself “self-medicating with red wine,” I would encourage you to simply eliminate alcohol from your life entirely, not just for one month. There will be other events that will put you under great stress, and you are at risk of becoming a bona-fide alcoholic. If you find that you can’t enjoy life without alcohol, I would suspect that you are already an alcoholic and need to get some help.
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I find this discussion very interesting. My parents have a frugal perspective on all of life. I was expected to take classes in high school that would help improve my chances of a good college, of a good career, ones with ‘high ROI’. The first thing I did once I graduated and got that well paying job. I took some art classes, well a LOT of art classes. Pottery, stained glass, oil painting, guitar, photography everything I had wanted. I don’t regret that all my hard work did pay off and now I have the leisure to pursue ‘fun’ stuff. But I wonder if a little balance in my earlier years wouldn’t have been a bad thing. That reminds me – I need to check out that ‘Battle hymn of the Tiger Mother’ book from the library, seems like there are some parallels to my life.
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Kathy put it perfectly: “I’m saying that our life changes as we move through it — fully embrace where you’re at to the extent you are able.”
With different stages and changes in life come sacrifices and sometimes especially as a parent your needs go to the back-burner.
I think having a focus and direction in a persons self improvement makes it more worthwhile. Doing too many things at once leaves a person dissatisfied.
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I would be careful on calling everything you want a self-improvement. By using that term, you are starting to blur the lines between wants and needs. I’m not saying that there is no value in self-improvment, but it can become an excuse for spending on almost anything – this video game system will improve my fine motor skills and hand eye co-ordination, this $150 cable package is worth it because I will learn a lot from the cooking and home improvement shows, etc.
Again, there is tremendous value in self-improvement – I personally take cooking classes, yoga classes, spend money on healthier foods, meditate, etc – but you have to be careful not to fall in the trap of using it to justify all your spending. The OP seems to realize this, and that’s probably why she wrote it.
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I’ve actually seen a recommended figure applied to self improvement. I think it was Brian Tracy who recommends 3% of your spending be an investment in yourself.
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@Van – “Instead of the gym- why not a consistent schedule of biking/running/walking to see how that works?”
I don’t know about where Annie is, but where I live, at least half the year it’s below freezing (and often well below). For example, we’re having ridiculous weather right now (normally for March we should be around -2C and the past week as been more like -20C to -25C).
I’d love to get all my exercise outdoors for free, but there’s no where near by I can climb. And I’m just not willing to be one of those people who runs in -20 or rides a bike in the snow.
I find it interesting that people seem to take offense to spending money on things you might be able to do for free. Not all free alternatives are equal to the paid version. Some are, but not all.
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Self improvement is like investing. Although there may be costs, most of the time, these are recouped easily by the returns you achieve through growing as a human being.
Pat
http://compoundingreturns.blogspot.com
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I also think it is important to spend some money on self improvement. Annie seems like she has her finances in order so I really think she is being responsible about her decisions. Life just doesn’t have to always be about money and enriching your life is a good thing.
I thought it was cool that she bought herself a ticket to a museum gala that she always wanted to attend. That is money well spent.
On occasion I buy a self improvement book whether on finances or how to do home improvement projects. I always make sure I can pay the bills, fund retirement and contribute to an emergency fund. So the money for self improvement purchases comes from fun money. Need to spend some money.
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PS- After I posted earlier I was thinking about this during the day, so…
If i read correctly you are STILL in grad school. My memories of grad school are long sleepless nights and excess work– between teaching, taking classes, and doing research, I barely had time to eat. I exercised sporadically. People on fellowships (I had an assistantship but no fellowship) were a little freer to play (e.g., my wife actually had time and money to go out on weekends!), but you mention you already have a part-time job.
So… where do you get the time and energy to do all the things you want to do? Spanish– isn’t your plate already full with classes, readings, projects and papers? Just wondering.
I’d think about “self-improvement” first as a means to be a successful grad student– whatever helps you ace your classes, do research, network in your field, attend conferences, etc. I don’t know if you’re going for an academic or professional track, but I’d focus on school first and foremost. If you scatter yourself, you might burn out or (gasp) fail.
Of course you need to stay healthy, so don’t neglect that, and you’ll need some time for relaxation and recreation, but I don’t think you’d have that in spades, unless I’m missing something (e.g., you’re taking one course per semester). Maybe take a pottery class to unwind or something? I don’t know. Just don’t do too many things at a time.
Stick to the therapist, go for free to the university gym (they might offer massage there– they did in mine), and then use your time and money to get the best of school. Grad school is supposed to be hell! Isn’t it???
Here, amuse yourself– this was my favorite reading back in the day:
http://www.phdcomics.com/
^ very funny stuff to be found if you get the jokes
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I’m currently debating whether or not to drop a very hefty amount of money on test-prep courses for this summer’s LSAT. My mind needs to be made up soon, so I’ve found this discussion very helpful. I think, to go along with J.D.’s point about working exclusively toward goals, that I’d be much better served by spending the cash on increasing my chances for getting into a good school than I would by spending it on a Rosetta Stone or a barbell set. (…not that I won’t still be tempted to buy those things while I’m in law school.)
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In general I would start by making an honest distinction between ‘wants’ and ‘needs’. For example massages are in the ‘wants’ category (usually, with medical exceptions like JD mentioned). Most self improvement is going to be in the ‘want’ category. The therapy she mentions may be a ‘need’ if it is for mental health purposes and a valid medical expense. But.. the way she describes it I wonder if its just an optional thing for general self improvement? That would be a ‘want’. You don’t ‘need’ to learn spanish right? You don’t ‘need’ to go to a ‘gala’.
Maybe you ‘need’ a personal trainer to fight an serious obesity problem. But if you just want to tone up your rock hard abs to look good then thats a ‘want’.
So first recognize that most of this spending is a ‘want’.
Its OK to spend some money on things you ‘want’ as long as you’re responsible with your finances.
After you split up what is a want and what is a need then its a matter of budgeting. I like the system where you put 50% towards needs, 30% to ‘wants’ and 20% to savings. Or something similar to fit your situation.
Annie’s situation is a little different as she has a trust fund setup for education. This money came from someone else. She called it an ‘educational trust’ so apparently it was setup for her education specifically. She has to ask herself honestly what that money ought to be used for and what expenses are suitable for that money.
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Previously I set quite some new year goals for 2011. But later on realize I was not focus.
It somehow distract me, so I pick one that I really wants to achieve first and set it as main target, while others follow behind.
Stay focus really important.
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I think you are right in not miscategorizing stuff. How will ___ improve my self/life? How is ____ helping me reach my goals? Luxuries are fine if your priorities are in order and you admit to yourself what they are.
IMHO, I think $400 is not much savings. If she can afford it, I’d highly recommending upping it, perhaps to go towards investing (a start-up she believes in, stocks of companies she likes). Investing education is a worthy self-improvement cost too.
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Wow. great question. I agree with those that say a massage is a need. Am a full time accountant and am also attending graduate school. Stress seems to be my major problem. At 25, i need serious teeth work due to teeth grinding caused by STRESS. Taking classes to learn a foreign language, however, is a waste of money. I’ve met people who studied Spanish for years in school but could not carry a full conversation.
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I see a life coach once every few months. It costs $77 for a half hour session and is so unbeleivably worth it. I think that actually saves me money.
I also go to self improvement conferences about once a year and end up spending about $500 all up for my two day pass, hotel, food, etc. Again, I feel that is extremely “worth it”.
I have a bad habit, though, of buying self-improvement books and then just admiring them on the shelf without reading them. I like the idea of focussing on one thing at a time and for me I think this should start with books. After I read one self improvement book buy another .. but don’t buy 8 in a month and let them sit for years!
I think investing in self improving often helps you save money in the long run because it keeps you focussed on living a great live and investing in what you LOVE.
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As others have said, giving should definitely be part of self-improvement (in my case, about 3% of gross income).
I spend about $400/month on therapy, which has improved my life but in a more concrete way my work successes.
If I could, I would spend money on a trainer to improve my health – at Annie’s age, developing exercise habits are a great investment.
Lastly, I wish I had studied a language at a younger age – in my field it would make me more marketable.
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Annie is young and has time, some extra money, and energy and I applaud her spending these to pursue self-improvement and life-enriching, personally fulfilling activities. I wish we were all so smart. We live to work and don’t work to live. So long as all our essential life needs–including emergency funds, retirement savings, dependents’ needs and the like–are met, there is NO PROBLEM with using what money is left to LIVE life.
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Add me to the list of those who support regular massage. We’re so tuned to treating symptoms in our society rather than being preventative. Like regular exercise and eating healthfully, I think a massage every month is crucial to preventing overuse and acute injuries, especially when so many of us are desk warriors (in front of a computer with horrible posture) for hours upon hours each day.
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To me, a better version of myself is one that is more efficient or productive and yielding more value. So self-improvement is an investment if I can quantify the results. For example, if I paid for educational course that resulted in getting more out of my career or pay raise, then its considered a self improvement plan. If I buy a book about sewing that enables me to save $ on mending my own clothes = self improvement.
A ukulele class, is a hobby and not considered self-improvement (even though I gain some sort of skill), i have a separate budget for hobbies.
Then I have a maintenance budget, expenditure necessary to keep me on the same track, not necessarily increase my worth. If a monthly massage is required to keep me functional, then that would be maintenance, not improvement. Fortunately, my job is not that stressful.
A gym membership is probably self improvement, as continuous exercise helps you be healthy and maintain (or increase) productivity levels that would otherwise normally decrease as you age.
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The great thing that I’m inferring about Annie is that she isn’t spending her money on things. She’s not resorting to material things to make her feel better – she’s going for learnings and experiences. DOESN’T THAT ROCK??
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I think the question is, what feeds your soul, and helps you feel happy and healthy, physically, mentally, and spiritually? And how do you also balance that with saving?
I’m all for a happy medium… you don’t have to choose between the two, and it may vary at different times.
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I agree with those who have commented that many are conflating needs with wants. Massages are rarely a “need.” That doesn’t mean it is helpful or otherwise beneficial, but needs should be confined to the basics–food, clothing, shelter etc and of course even within these categories there is plenty of room for personal preferences to turn even those needs into wants. We have to be careful that we don’t turn our own talisman into a “need” otherwise really we’re no different than the person who “needs” a Starbucks caramel macchiato to help her function in the afternoon.
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Isn’t improving your life in any way actually “self-improvement”?
When I pay down my mortgage, set up a college savings account for my kids, mow the lawn, cook a healthy dinner for the family, do the laundry, work hard at my job so I’m eligible for a promotion, get my hair cut, keep up on current events, exercise, travel, get a mammogram or get my teeth fixed….isn’t that all “self-improvement”?
I personally think it’s better to strive for making your whole life better.
Going out and learning Spanish or joining a gym won’t help you much if your life is actually imbalanced because you should be working more or spending more time with your kids. You gotta look at the whole picture, IMO.
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Interesting discussion. I agree that it all comes down with what you value. If your needs and savings goals are met, why not spend money on self-improvement? I am planning to take piano lessons when my credit card debt is paid off this year. Yes, I still have ways to go to get my financial life in order but life isn’t just about money.
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I think if you have no debt, can put away for savings, and still have money left over after you pay your bills, that is awesome. Spend money on what you want I say, as long as you are going to use those things.
Personally I don’t think a massage is a luxury. I used to get them sometimes because I have a lot of pain in my back, neck and shoulders. I get a lot of headaches and am stressed out a lot so they were therapeutic. My workplace health benefits paid $500 a year for massages, and I didn’t go to a spa to have them. Now that I am not working I really miss those, especially lately since I’ve been having a lot of pain.
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Whatever you spend your money on put it to the best use as possible. You had to go earn it in the first place. Make sure it is that you know what you want and do not second guess yourself.
When you sign up for something lets say a continuing education class or whatever make sure that you get an A in it by dedicating your time to it and put it to use at work after taking it.
That is the only way that you will get your moneys worth.
Lawrence Bergfeld
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I am not sure if Annie also feels this way, but I also had a trust fund in my undergrad days and I remember often feeling guilty and confused about spending money. It was hard to make choices like this – I had enough money to live comfortably, and I felt like I should “get the most of out of life” and explore as much as possible… but then I also felt like I should be scrimping on groceries and saving every penny. And because it wasn’t money that I earned, I didn’t feel like I really had ownership of my decision about how to use it – it was always a sort of abstract decision about what I SHOULD be doing with this money that wasn’t really mine, as opposed to the feeling that this was my own money and I could CHOOSE to spend it or save it or give it away etc.
Since I got out of school I have found it incredibly satisfying to have my own income and pay my own bills, make my own budget, make my own mistakes, splurge on things that I want, and build my own savings. I find it very healthy for my self-esteem, and also much simpler since there are clear parameters for what I can and can’t afford! Of course I realise how lucky I was to have my education paid for and not to have student debt, but there was that downside.
I guess my advice for Annie would be to make very clear savings goals. You could use JD’s balanced money formula and systematically save 20%, or make some projections for how much money you want to have saved down the road for a house or for retirement. Since you already live below your means, you could choose to save aggressively and have the satisfaction of watching your savings balance grow, and also create a situation of slight scarcity to give more definition to your choices about what to do with your disposable income.
Whatever is left over after basic expenses and savings is yours to spend as you want – you don’t have to justify it by calling it “self improvement.” (Anyway, I think that an evening at the movies or a bottle of wine with friends is sometimes just as therapeutic as CBT or personal trainers.) I do remember feeling that since it wasn’t money that I had earned, every purchase that I made had to be justified… I think you can allay that feeling by making sure you are saving a good chunk, and then use the rest of your money to be happy!
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A lot of people have misread Annie’s letter. She doesn’t have $400 left over at the end of the month; she SAVES $400 every month.
She bought tickets to ONE museum gala, not a series of them.
IMO everything Annie is doing for “self improvement” is either directly educational or directly good for her physical health. Neither of these categories says “luxury” to me.
Since she is saving and has no debt, I’d say she is spending exactly the right amount.
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I agree that several of these expenses are luxuries and not self improvement. A gala is a social event open to those wishing to demonstrate a certain social status. They operate, secondarily, as fundraisers, and lastly as an opportunity to actually view art. (If viewing art were the main motive, one would pay a fraction of that and go another day.)
My “quick and dirty” rule of thumb for self-improvement comes in three steps:
1.) Define your goals. Write them down. Think about them seriously, over and over. Prioritize them.
2.) Write down the steps necessary to accomplish the first one or two goals. Research the realistic paths.
3.) Delegate your budget accordingly.
If you want a raise, invest in your wardrobe. (If you work from home, don’t.) If you want to be in better shape, join a gym and hire a personal trainer. If you need to relax, get a weekly massage or do yoga. If you want to ease your way into High Society, go to as many galas as possible. Do each within your budget (after skimming off some of your income for savings) and don’t focus on more than one or two at a time.
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First,I am elated that you’re only 25 and you’re at least questioning your spending habits. Surely at 25 I never even considered my spending habits so I applaud you.
Secondly, I believe that we should be in constant search of what our purpose is in life and finding our gifts and being clear about what we want. Often, this is where financial freedom lies.
Personally, I think we should all have whatever we want in life and we can, we just have to know what our limiting beliefs are and take a few other steps to make the necessary change in our life that keeps us in bondage. What’s unfortunate most of us was never taught that we can have the life we want so we end up settling for a lot less that what we’re capable of.
My recommendation is that if you’re going to take self developments courses take courses that is going to help you to understand your beliefs about money, you cannot change what you do not know . I took a class last year that helped me to understand what my beliefs are about money and it literally changed my life.
I think self development is a wise choice as long as you put what you learn to action. What I know for sure is that school prepares us to get a job and build someone else dreams but it doesn’t prepare us for how to live a life of abundance and live our dreams.
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I find it interesting that so many people have criticized, judged, or supported Annie’s expenses. That isn’t what she asked. She asked how much people spend on self-improvement. and “cultural stuff”. She also asked if she would regret this later and two other questions.
The fact is, if we don’t know her, we cannot know if she will regret it, if it is too much, or much else.
What is valuable for me to spend $50 on is different than what is valuable to someone else. She obviously has some concern because she asked the questions. She’s better off asking her therapist whom she is paying and who, theoretically, knows her.
Because every person’s definition of self-improvement is slightly different, might a percentage system be a more helpful as an answer rather than what each of us thinks about getting a massage?
That she is grad student doesn’t mean she isn’t allowed to do anything else or have any other interests. Nor does being frugal mean one only spends money on certain things and not on others.
I do not proclaim to have answers for her. I do not know her, I do not know how much she values the activities she mentioned, and I do not know what prompted her to ask the questions she did. I know if even a small percentage of people older, and supposedly more responsible, had saved $400 a month, there would be less financial crisis than there currently is, no matter age or spending habits.
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