Every spring for the past decade or so, I’ve turned from a normal, healthy adult into a sniffling, dripping fountain of whine in just a matter of days. Something in the air doesn’t agree with me. Last year, instead of just complaining about how crappy I felt, I finally saw an allergist. After giving me a skin test, he told me the bad news: “Trees are your enemy,” he said — which made me laugh.
For the next few months, my allergist and I worked together to find some sort of relief. Nothing really helped. Nasal rinses work for a few minutes, but they irritate my nose in the long run (and their effects are short-lived, anyhow). Various nasal sprays have provided sporadic help. Even most allergy medicines — Claritin, Zyrtec, and so on — seem to have little effect. Only Benadryl (diphenhydramine) works, but that stuff knocks me out! I’m fine taking it before bed, but not during the day.
I’ve been home from Africa for two weeks now, and have been taking Claritin as a preventative measure. Until Sunday, I thought it was working. But after running my 5k on Sunday morning, my allergies slammed me with a vengeance, reducing me to a miserable mess. Curse those trees!
The alder tree, my bitter enemy. O, how I loathe him.
Sunday night, during a break from my whining and sniffling, I remembered that maybe I’d sent myself an e-mail after my last meeting with the allergist. Sure enough.
“I’m so smart,” I told Kris.
“How’s that?” she asked.
“After my visit to the allergist last July, I wrote up an allergy plan and e-mailed it to myself. That way I wouldn’t forget.”
Kris wasn’t impressed. “So, you’re only smart in compensating for your dumbness,” she said.
“Exactly,” I said.
But you know what? I’m okay with that. My philosophy is: If you can’t be smart in the first place, then at least be smart about compensating for your dumbness. To put it another way, know thyself.
Mind Games
So much of personal-finance success — and success in other parts of life — comes from being honest about who you are, about acknowledging your weaknesses and your strengths.
I used to define myself by my flaws. That’s not a very fun way to live, though. Over the past few years, I’ve found that I’m happier — and more successful — by admitting my weaknesses, and then finding some way to work around them. In short, I’ve learned to outsmart myself.
For instance, I am by nature a spendaholic. I like to shop. This, I’m sure you’ll agree, is a weakness. I used to see this as a problem that couldn’t be controlled. I’d resigned myself to a lifetime of debt. Fortunately, though, I got smart; I developed strategies to curb my compulsive spending, such as using the 30-day rule whenever I’m tempted to buy.
Here are some of the other ways I’ve learned to deal with my lack of willpower:
- I can’t have candy or cookies in the house. If junk food is there, I’ll eat it. I have no self-control. Last week, Kris bought a bag of black jelly beans, for example. I love black jelly beans. I tried not to eat them, but my willpower crumbled. They were gone in less than 24 hours. Many folks would argue that I need to learn to be around candy without feeling compelled to eat it. Maybe that’s true. For now, though, I have a better solution: I just don’t have it around. And if Kris brings it home — she has more self-control than I do — then I don’t want to know about it.
- Similarly, I’ve learned to stay out of comic shops and book stores. I know that by going inside, I’m only going to find something to buy. So why bother? Unless I’m after something specific, I try to stay away from books and comics.
- As I’ve mentioned many times, I’m a forgetful guy. That’s one reason Kris and I set up our laundry agreement. That’s also the reason I pay the rent on my office space for a year in advance. Yes, I know that sounds crazy. I could put the money in a high-yield savings account and earn interest instead! I don’t care. By paying a year in advance, I don’t have to worry about the monthly bill. My poor memory is also the reason I carry a notebook with me at all times. It’s my backup brain.
- Every year, I fund my retirement plan and pay the estimated taxes for my business as soon as possible. Once my 2010 taxes are done, for example, my accountant will tell me how much he thinks I’ll owe for taxes in 2011. I’ll immediately make these payments (or as much as possible). I’ll also immediately fund my retirement account for the year. By doing this, I take me out of the equation, and that’s the smartest thing I can do. Plus, it’s a relief knowing that any other money that comes in for the year can be drawn as income.
These are just a few of the ways I use to outsmart myself, to circumvent my weaknesses. There are many others. I automate my finances whenever possible, for instance. And I try to do the hard things first. Why have I managed to do so well at my fitness program in the past year? Because it’s the first thing I do every day. I roll out of bed and push myself out the door before I’m fully awake. That’s what I have to do in order to make it work.
Better Not to Be Dumb
Like a lot of folks, Kris thinks these mind games are unnecessary. She thinks I shouldn’t have to outsmart myself.
“It’s better if you’re not dumb in the first place,” she told me on Sunday. That’s true. And I’m doing my best to become smarter about my habits — financial and otherwise. Meanwhile, I’m content to play tricks on myself if that’s what it takes to succeed. Sometimes, that means sending an e-mail addressed to “Future J.D.”
Because I sent myself an e-mail after my last allergy appointment, I have a plan. I’m whining and sneezing today, but tomorrow morning I’ll be back at the allergy clinic. My doctor and I will go over the options we discussed back in July. It may still take us a while to find something that works, but I have high hopes that before long, I can triumph over my enemies, the trees.
Tell me, how do you outsmart yourself? Do you have any systems in place to circumvent your bad behavior? I’d love to hear concrete tips and examples of how others have learned to live with (and even overcome) their financial blind spots.
Alder photo by Treehouse 1977.
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I have the same problem with keeping things around the house. If candy is there, I’ll snack on it, etc. It’s not a bad thing to set up little tricks on yourself. As long as it works for you, then accept it as part of the way you “get things done.” Yes, if we all were mentally strong we wouldn’t have half the problems we do, but unfortunately we are all human. Give yourself a break and do what works.
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“That’s also the reason I pay the rent on my office space for a year in advance.”
Have you tried to negotiate a discount for full payment? Even 2 or 3% would be better than any interest you’d earn at most places right now, and what landlord wouldn’t be willing to take a small hit for all that money up front?
Also, I’d heard integrating some local honey into your diet is a good natural way to fight allergies by introducing the pollens, etc. to your body. I don’t know if it would help with trees unless they’re flowering trees of some sort.
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Carol’s Rule #10 is important. You don’t just have to learn to trick yourself, you have to learn to quickly forgive yourself and keep trying. This can be very hard for people with ADHD and poor impulse control who have been reprimanded all their lives. Don’t think of yourself as a bad person. You’re not dumb, you’re not lazy. You have poor impulse control or ADHD.
And since so many people are bringing up, and potentially beating themselves up for, poor impulse control or ADHD (seem to be always connected), there is a positive side to having these problems. People with poor impulse control are the ones who will react first in an emergency while everyone else is standing around trying to decide what to do. Think about your life and you probably can think of situations where you were the first one – or the only one – to react to a dangerous situation.
I once abandoned my car in the middle of the road, left my purse and keys in it, left the driver’s side door wide open, stepped in front of traffic, forcing it to stop or swerve around, in order to find out why two small children, by themselves, were trying to cross a busy road during rush hour, and to take them back to their parents.
It wasn’t like this was something the other drivers didn’t see, they were swerving or slowing down as they passed, one driver almost hit the children when they tried to cross the street. Two concerned ladies in a car saw what happened, found a sensible place to park, probably secured their cars and purses, and came over to help as I was walking the kids back into their apartment complex. That was it, nobody else stopped. The difference between them and me is that I have poor impulse control. I didn’t stop to think about ANYTHING but the safety of those kids. I may have to trick myself into not shopping, but I also do not consider my impulsive nature to be a handicap or something that’s necessarily wrong or bad.
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I don’t even have seasonal allergies but I feel compelled to weigh in. If considering alternative therapies, and one involves eating honey and the other involves having needles stuck in my body, I certainly know which one I would try first!
I admit that I’m more of a Kris type, and we really aren’t bad people. We adore you JD types, and we help you find your keys and wallets, and we pay the bills and keep life organized, and we cherish you guys because there’s more to life than knowing where your keys are, and you are really fun! I think Kris comes across very well in the blog, and I suspect you complement each other as well as Dave & I do:) As far as tips to keep organized and on track, it’s in our marrow; there’s no other way we can be. So one of us typically pairs up with one of you
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Like many others, locally grown honey and also a neti pot every night. I am not a fan of the ‘hippy’ cures but dammit, the hippies got it right there..
I’ve got ADD and I do a modified GTD (lots of lists). I also use google calendar to remind me of when stuff are due (I also note on google calendars when I make payments)…
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Portlander and allergy sufferer here! I haven’t tried honey, but after reading all these comments, maybe I will.
The #1 thing that has helped me with seasonal allergies has also been the most surprising to me: eliminating wheat and dairy from my diet. I have some kind of weird interaction going on between pollen and dietary intolerances; at the height of allergy season, if I avoid wheat and dairy, I can get away with using a neti pot once or twice a day, and taking a Benedryl at night — Benedryl knocks me out so I can only take it at night, but it seems to hit “reset” on my allergy symptoms.
BUT, if I eat wheat or dairy during allergy season, I am miserably allergic for about 24-48 hours. Wheat and dairy don’t have this effect on me during non-allergy season, though they do make me tired, cranky and bloated. Obviously this weird dietary interaction thing won’t be the case for everyone, but just thought I’d add my two cents.
Good luck!
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My money “weakness” is a little different – I’m a moderate to low energy person and I need a certain amount of down time in the evening. For years I beat myself up for not spending my weekends cooking a week’s worth of food and for having my son buy school lunches instead of making them for him.
Finally I just accepted that I was a single Mom working full time and that I didn’t have the energy to strip wallpaper and paint in the evenings or weekends. I knew people in similar situations who could do that, but I wasn’t them. I developed a sort of mental equation when evaluating which money saving strategies to use – How much does it save divided by how long it takes, with extra points if it is something I enjoy (going to garage sales with a friend) and demerits if it is something I hate doing (clipping coupons).
Calling several lenders to save an extra half percent or more on on a car loan just takes a half hour or so but could save thousands of dollars even if it isn’t much fun. Buying generic brands takes less time than clipping and keeping track of coupons and saves the equivalent amount. Being rested so I could do better at my job resulted in better raises which meant I had more money than I would have saved making lunches every day. And getting those promotions meant my job was more fulfilling.
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I did not read all 107 comments here, but I have allergies as well, and couldn’t find anything that worked, until I started taking TWO Claritin every day. The recommended dosage (1 tab a day) is only to prevent drowsiness, so there is no danger in taking more. Turns out two does not make me at all drowsy and cures my allergies. Maybe that will work for you as well.
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If it make you feel any better. I am allergic to dust. Since I live in a desert… when winds pick up around here I can’t even open my eyes, my nose does not stop, and I sneeze constantly.
I do a lot of the things you do too to keep myself reminded of the things I need to take care of. I am happy to see that I am not the only “weird” one around. My husband makes fun of me for keeping a notebook with me at all times. I make my list from the order of how I plan to drive to what I need to pay first. I have a chalkboard at home and I write what I need to do for the day there the night before, otherwise I forget to do them. I keep one for my husband too, since he makes fun of me but “forgets” to do the things I tell him to do. Now there is no excuse!
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I developed an allergy to grass pollen about 6 years ago. It took 2 years to figure that part out. It took 3 years to figure out what would work. Since my allergy resulted in hives, a nasal rinse would not help. None of the over the counter products, such as claritin, helped. Only allegra helped, and it took 3 days to kick in. Allegra is now over the counter (sucks doesn’t it?) and you can get it online at a reasonable price (just not as reasonable when insurance covered it).
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No, it’s not dumbness! I can’t remember anything, but why should I go to the effort of remembering exactly which month or week I’m supposed to do a chore when I can write it down & then not have to think about it until that calendar page flips over? I call letting your systems work for you SMARTness!! I also use Google calendar to schedule infrequent chores, like check tire pressure, sign up for the next quarter’s extra rewards on my credit card, order credit reports, etc etc etc.
AND as far as keeping notes, DUMP the pen & paper…go electronic! Going electronic makes it easier to find notes, if you make notes on the desktop interface (like Palm Desktop) I find it faster to type than handwrite (and you can copy/paste from electronic info-internet, Word docs, etc), and if you use a mobile device (Palm, iPod Touch, etc) you will have a backup on your computer instead of risking losing your notebook. I still have my Palm Tungsten E2 (which works great), and keep tons of notes in there using the Memos function. You can create categories, so I assign categories to the Memos so that they are easier to find when the time comes. For example, I have some memos with directions to places I infrequently go to (and I created a Directions category). Instead of having to reprint a Mapquest route each time I go (or if I completely forget to print the directions), I have the directions already in my Palm. Bonus…the Palm is backlit, so if I am doing this at night, the directions are very visible instead of having to mess with the interior light in my ’98 car. I also use the spreadsheet in Documents to Go to keep a basic price list for grocery & personal items we buy frequently. That’s been EXTREMELY helpful for shopping.
I did sit down & make myself learn the Graffiti 2 writing technique for the Palm so that I could take notes more quickly when using the device. I do admit that writing directly into the Palm can sometimes be a little cumbersome, but I’ve gotten used to it. JD, if you had such a device, you could have made a Medical category (for example), and created a memo for your allergy plan. This may have helped you find your plan more quickly this year than having to kind of remember you sent yourself an email and find the plan after your suffering already began.
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Maybe this isn’t the point of the post, but I just want to note that I find it absolutely maddening that medical professionals do not AUTOMATICALLY WRITE DOWN their advice and give it to you. I’m quite sure that people actually die because of this. Doctors have no idea how overwhelming it is to try to remember a list of instructions (often using unfamiliar vocabulary) that you’ve been given orally. Writing is a great invention, people! Use it!
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I love this post except for the fact (opinion) that you made Kris sound mean.
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iv set all my monthly debits to go through automatically on the 15th of the month, this gives me time to make sure iv been paid, and if i havnt to work a plan, that and iv worked out exactly how much i have left after all my expenses so i only spent that much (and savings are also automatically transfered to a separate linked account, so i cant just swipe a card and make it disappear)
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(Since there are already a lot of comments, I’m not sure if or how many people have said this)
For your allergies, you may want to try thinking about your problem in another way. It sounds like most of what you’re doing is treating symptoms. If you work on the root cause, or at least closer to it, you can have much better results.
I strongly suggest doing the following:
1 – Eat about a spoonful of honey every single day. Use local honey, preferably unpasturized. Though I believe it will still work ok pasturized. But it must be local. I did this myself and cured my allergies within a year.
2 – Improve your diet. Eat what is commonly called a “Paleo” diet. I’ve read accounts of others who did this, and curing their allergies was one of the many benefits. (I also was improving my diet in this direction while I was eating the honey, so likely both helped me)
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