Reader Story: How I Learned About Frugality from De-Cluttering
Published on - April 24th, 2011 (by J.D. Roth) This guest post from Claire Brown is part of the “reader stories” feature at Get Rich Slowly. Some stories contain general advice; others are examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success — or failure. These stories feature folks from all levels of financial maturity and with all sorts of incomes.
I’m writing to you today from sunny London about how I learned frugality by throwing things away. This may sound counter-intuitive; if being frugal is about economy and not wasting things, then throwing things away could be seen as a big admission of defeat.
But in the same way that having a budget is about consciously spending your money, I think consciously taking stock of what you throw away and — vitally — how it found its way into your house in the first place is a great way to become more frugal in the future.
UK vs. USA
First, a few words on some similarities and differences between the United Kingdom and the United States of America.
You’re probably getting more UK news in America right now because of the Royal Wedding. While Kate and William have recycled the engagement ring, I doubt their wedding will be as frugal as the Queen’s wedding was when post-War rationing was still in place.
In many ways the UK and US are very similar. Consumer credit is easy to get, so a lot of people are carrying massive personal debts. An explosion in house prices encouraged many people to borrow against the equity in their home and for a while it was possible to get 110% home loans (i.e. the bank would lend you 10% more than a house’s value). That bubble’s burst now, but I could still walk down the high street and get an interest-free couch, half a dozen store cards, and a personal loan for a holiday without much trouble.
However, the cheap abundance of consumer goods that the US has enjoyed since the 1950s is relatively new here. For many years the UK was known as ‘rip-off’ Britain. Consumer campaigns, the European Union, internet shopping, and China’s booming manufacturing sector have all driven down prices. It’s still very easy to find terrible overpriced food in the UK, particularly around tourist hot spots. But there has been a real explosion in budget clothing and home stores, like Primark and Pound Saver, and BOGOF deals (Buy One, Get One Free). If you walked through the new Westfield London Mall on a Saturday you might think the UK was shopping mad. And you might just be right. The average British woman now owns sixteen bras and buys four new ones each year. This kind of abundance is relatively new to the UK and the novelty hasn’t worn off.
But home sizes are smaller than in the US or places like Canada, Australia or New Zealand. The average new home in the UK is a third the size of its US counterpart.
So unless you happen to have inherited a grand country pile you probably will need to de-clutter on a regular basis. Will and Kate won’t need to worry about where to store their surplus wedding presents, but the rest of us do.
How did I learn to be frugal by throwing things away?
Between the ages of 20 and 35, I moved house ten times. The two moves that really made me re-evaluate my spending habits were moving countries, and moving to a third floor apartment in a building without a lift.
- Why did I have all this Stuff which I never used from one year to the next?
- How on earth had I managed to buy all this on my modest income?
- I had never had 19 people drinking champagne in my flat at one time, so why did I feel the need to have 19 champagne flutes?
- Why did I keep running out of cardboard boxes?
These were the questions I asked myself as I struggled to get everything packed in time.
I’ve bought a flat now and don’t plan to move again for a very long time. But I want to maintain the habit of regularly going through my cupboards to work out what I need and what I don’t. Because doing this stops me spending. Safe in the knowledge that I have eight very nice champagne flutes, why would I buy any more? I have a generous three sets of sheets (one for us, one for guests, one in the wash), so I’m not even tempted by the John Lewis sale.
I would also argue that a well-ordered house makes it easier to be frugal because you can find things when you need them. My grandfather was a real hoarder, because he grew up on a farm in the Depression when you kept everything. But that only works if you can find what you need when you need it. When clearing out his house after his death my mother found four full toiletry bags because whenever he went on holiday he wouldn’t be able to find the last one amongst all the clutter.
The hard part
So if it’s a while since you’ve moved house, take a day to clean out your wardrobe, the cupboard under the stairs, the closet in the spare bedroom, your loft or your cellar. Work out what you still use and what you can get rid of. Julie Lanoie at the Downsize Challenge has some great ideas for what to do with your unwanted stuff.
But before you put your stuff on eBay or take it to the charity shop, add up how much you spent on each item to work out what it actually cost you.
- How much did you spend on those books you read only once?
- Did you pay for that iPod on plastic?
- What was the thinking behind that purchase? Did you want to keep up with the Joneses? Treat yourself after a hard day? Was it too good a bargain to put down? Was it really worth it?
This kind of analysis is what will help shift you from being a compulsive to a conscious spender.
My biggest mistakes and best tips
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned over the years:
- Clothes. I’m a sucker for a sale, and generally the clothes I’ve bought but never worn were ‘great’ bargains at the time. But of course if you never wear it, it’s not a great bargain and you might as well throw the money away. So now I’ve worked out my body shape and which colours suit me, designed a capsule wardrobe, and I keep a list on my cell phone of the new clothes I need for when I’m shopping.
- ‘Once a year’ goods. These are the items that only see the light of day a few times a year: camping goods, DIY equipment, sports gear, and cooking appliances like ice-cream makers. My boyfriend and I have been camping once, when we went to a music festival. We used Freecycle and eBay to acquire things that we were likely to use on a regular basis (e.g., a picnic set and airbed) and we borrowed most of the rest from friends (e.g., the tent and camp stove). We enjoyed it but not so much that we’ve felt the urge to go again. If you only use your tile cutter or drill once a year, then chances are your neighbours are the same and will be happy to lend them to you. Of course, if you decide you love camping or skiing or pasta-making then you can go out and buy the full kit, but try before you buy.
- Books and music. If I were stuck on a desert island, I’d take my complete Jane Austen with me. I can happily re-read her books over and over again. But some books, like murder mysteries, are distinctly one-read only. So I’ve stopped buying them and borrow them from libraries or friends. For music, try before you buy via an internet radio station like Last.fm or Spotify. But while I am committed to frugality I don’t pirate music, because I don’t think I should enforce my frugality on composers and musicians by denying them royalties.
- Food. I’ve thrown away more bags of slimy salad leaves than I care to name. So I decided a few years ago to only buy whole lettuces instead. A lettuce will last two or three weeks in the fridge, so you can create your own salad mix. Once a week, generally before I do the food shopping, I turn out the fridge and make curries, soups, stews and other meals with those ingredients at the end of their natural lives. Try Love Food, Hate Waste for ideas. Internet food shopping is very competitive in the UK, and the only supermarkets near where I live in London are really small. So I buy my groceries on the web and I can always pop to the kitchen while I’m shopping to see if I’ve run out of pasta or need more eggs.
- Technology. It is a truth universally acknowledged that if you wait a while to buy your technology, it will probably be better and cheaper than the version available on day. Frugal Dad had a really interesting post the other day on things our grandparents lived without. If you believe that your life isn’t complete without the latest gadget, then at least get rid of your redundant gizmos quickly. A two-year-old cell phone has some value. A ten-year-old cell? None. My father has a computer graveyard for a study. He loves computers and new technology. But when he buys a new printer/computer/laptop, he still keeps the old one just in case. So at last count I saw four computers, three laptops, and five printers. If he’d got rid of them when he made each new purchase then they could have been of use to someone else. Now they’re completely obsolete and good for nothing but the scrap heap.
- Gifts. Whenever I move house, one of the hardest things to deal with is gifts. I’ve been given some great presents over the years. But I also tend to come across books I’ve never read, jewellery I’ve never worn and ornaments I frankly do not like. Presents also tend to follow themes based on your known interests, like cooking or travel, so I’ve been given a lot of similar gifts over the years. These are things my family and friends have spent their money on and chosen for me. So I feel really bad that I just don’t want them. Is it okay to re-gift? After reading April Dykman’s great posts on Get Rich Slowly how money can buy happiness if we spend it right, I’m thinking of politely suggesting to friends and family not to give gifts, to give to charity in my name or give me experiences instead of things. I would much prefer a dinner out together than another apron to go in the drawer with the three aprons I already own.
Over one-hundred years ago, English textile designer and artist William Morris wrote, “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” That’s a mantra I now try to live by. I think consciously about what I buy and consider the pros and cons of each purchase.
But I’m sure there are some pretty frugal readers out there with some more great tips and some reformed spendaholics too. What are your best suggestions?
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I just picked up this very valuable lesson this past week by decluttering my whole house like nobody’s business.
“If he’d got rid of them when he made each new purchase then they could have been of use to someone else. Now they’re completely obsolete and good for nothing but the scrap heap.”
That really hit home. I actually got rid of a lot of things that my grandfather (who died 5 years ago) kept for the same reason, and then my grandmother kept because she couldn’t let go of something that had been his (she’s better able to let it go, now.)
Cleaning out my garage/house/pantry we had: 2 waffle irons (we haven’t made waffles since I moved in 5 years ago), multiple copies of the same book that nobody liked the first time they read it, much less would read again, duplicates of multiple kitchen tools (can’t find them because we have too many kitchen tools!)
Just like you said, our stuff is only valuable and useful if we can use it when we need it. If we have too much stuff than it just makes it harder to use and enjoy the stuff that we need! I’ve been ruthless over the past two weeks in cleaning my house, and then I’ve spent the last 2 or 3 nights pouring over the internet, trying to decide what I’d like as a mother’s day gift. It’s really hard to pick something out, because I don’t want more stuff… I like the stuff that I have just fine, thank you!
Great post!
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I have lived in both places and my most spartan existence was when I lived in the UK on a co-op. I had a tiny flat, no car and low pay. It really is amazing how little you need to get by. It changed my perception forever.
Too bad the trend is changing over there. I lived there back when shops closed at 6 (except Thursdays). Shopping wasn’t something that was done any and every day. Instead you did things like go to quiz night at the pub or to a friend’s for dinner.
You are so right about the clothes. The items I’ve bought because of the price and not because I loved them have always disappointed me. Plus, I end up wearing the same handful of “favorites” day in and day out no matter how stuffed my closet is.
Thanks for the story.
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I live in Glasgow and do my food shopping on the internet, too. The best bit is, before I press “checkout”, I go back through the list and delete any impulse buys that snuck in. Too embarrassing to do that in-store!
Ordering my groceries makes sense to me, I don’t have a car so I used to get a taxi home with my weekly shop (I don’t live from the supermarket, this costs around £3.40 a time). Then I realised it’s the same price to get it delivered, but I end up saving money because I don’t buy stuff we don’t need.
Also agree that being more decluttered makes you more conscious of spending. It also helps you to take better care of your possessions – I’ve come across countless things that are broken because they’ve not been stored right.
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I don’t know about tips, but I’m starting a massive de-cluttering campaign. I’m moving soon (thank goodness I’ll be done with my Masters!) and and seriously evaluating whether I really need to move *all* of this stuff. If there’s even any question, into the donation pile it goes.
This is especially hard for me for books. I really want to save them all for the library room that I might have some day. But, it just doesn’t make sense, especially when I took a box to a used bookstore yesterday and got $30.
Thanks for YOUR tips!
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Lauren,
I have had a hard time letting go of books as well. I have art books, teaching books, fiction, etc. and I have always thought I would have a library-like area in a home some day. That day, however, is far away so I have had to shed some. The system that I try to adhere to now is to only keep the fiction I re-read and good reference books that are not so readily available– and/or that I use. Doing that really emptied my shelves and my place (and I) feel lighter for it.
Good luck!
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As books are one of my intense loves, I slowly acquired a massive library myself. I do regularly reread books, so they weren’t sitting around gathering dust, but even so, when it came time for our last move I was horrified at the sheer bulk of all of these books. I’ve since begun a massive purge–I try to pass along all but a few beloved books to other people. I’ve only found one book that I regretted handing off–I’ve since bought another copy of it at a second hand store. The rest of the books I do not miss at all, or I simply go check them out of the library if I feel the urge to reread them.
Now I have to face our artistic reference books. Those are a little more challenging bc we never know when we might need to use them and many of them are rare or out of print. *That* is going to be a huge challenge to weed through as it’s hard to convince yourself that you will be fine letting go of something you cannot replace if you change your mind.
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I hear you on the art books. I have an idea– send them to me!! Oh, wait.
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IF books are an intense love, then they don’t count as clutter as long as they are properly stored and organized. Book collecting is more of a chronic disease and one has to make reasonable accommodations for it. Same thing with vinyl (record) collectors.
I’ve carted books from coast to coast in countless boxes. It’s back-breaking. Currently the majority of them is stored in a summer cabin (not the best environment for preservation, but better than nothing) and I keep a smaller stash in the city apartment where we live. When we finally settle in permanent dwelling there will be a studio/library space, no question about that. A living room is not enough.
Is it painful to store, carry, keep those books, and pay for them, real estate cost included? Yes. Is the joy they bring worth the pain? Yes Molly Bloom yes yes yes.
Still, it’s always a good thing to go on a periodic culling spree, or things can get out of hand. I trade my rejects for credit at the local used bookshop, and save it up to buy books worth keeping.
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Art books are the worst!
They’re heavy with all that lovely paper and pretty ink… and you can’t replace them with ebooks either!
For me, they fall under “useful” and “beautiful” — but I’m still trying to pare down my collection. Some of my books have gone to the local high school for their art departments to use.
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Yup, that’s been my issue also. My current system looks pretty much the same. I’m an aspiring academic, so books that are relevant to my area of study are being kept, as are books I re-read, books I want to save for my (eventual) kids (I still have my Little House on the Prairie series, and my mother’s Cherry Ames and Bobsey Twins books, for example), and books that I think other will enjoy.
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I have a lot of books. Some people need security blankets, I needed a security library. I don’t really need them any more. But it’s hard to let them go. I found that getting them to people who will value them helped a lot.
First, I separate out the keepers — mostly reference books. Then I check the used price on Amazon. If it’s more than a certain amount, I post it for sale; if not, I put it on the give-away shelf. Then I sort the charity shelf so that anything suitable for Books for Africa (http://www.booksforafrica.org/) gets dropped off there, and the rest goes to the Friends of the Library.
The selling part isn’t so much for the money, but because if someone pays for it, I know they actually want it. Still, I’ve made about $1500 cash in the past year.
If I need the book again, and it’s not available as a download or from the library, I know I can afford it, because I’ve either sold it myself or it was too inexpensive to be worth selling. (Ok, it’s possible there will be a sudden dearth in the market, but that’s unlikely — usually prices go down.)
This is arguably too much work, but it helps me let go of them and I do make some money from it.
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My husband and I had a ton of books before we moved (including his entire childhood/teenage collection) and we did the same thing with Amazon. If the book was $10 or more, we listed it, if not it went in the donate pile. We made $750 this way, and got rid of a ton of books we’d never look at!
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“The library room I might have one day” In my early adult life I thought that when I bought a home there would of course be an office or library in it. So I kept my books, and bought more. I had a marvelous paperback collection, that when I moved into my husbands home went into the basement in a cardboard box. Eight years later, they all went to the used bookstore or the library. I realized that I love my home, and it has no place for books I don’t read. Although the art book collection found a home in my art studio, where I can actually leaf through them for inspiration.
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Fabulous post! I really enjoyed reading it and I think I learned something.
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GREAT ARTICLE! Thanks! I’ve never been better at decluttering than I am now– and the results ARE wonderful. This former pack rat can now FIND things! It also makes cleaning easier. Speaking of, see you all later.
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I loved reading this. Thanks! My partner and I live in a 1950s-era split-level house, the glories of which I could rhapsodize on at length, but it was designed for an era in which people simply had less stuff than today. It’s not small, really, but the closet space is just sufficient and the rooms not huge. There’s no room for gigantic sectional couches or immense flat-screened TVs, and in general we can’t buy indiscriminately–we always have to ask “Where is this going to go?” Its design pretty much requires us to purge regularly, and that’s turned out to be a very good thing. You do not need the masses of crap that many people today consider essential for living. The architecture of my house has made that apparent in a palpable way. Simplify, simplify….
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I try to de-clutter once or twice a year. I’ve moved so many times, since 1972, I’ve lost count. I recently moved to a small 650sf home from an 800sf apartment. I’m, once again, in the process of sorting through my “stuff.”
I’ve inherited some very old books, some are in great shape and others are nasty looking. I sold a few to a used book store.
Any ideas how to rid of my old Life magazines? They are from the 30′s & 40′s.
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ebay!
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Thank you Nicole – that didn’t even cross my mind!
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I’d say try selling them as a lot on Ebay. Or you could try Craigslist first.
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Wonderful post! Very practical. I really enjoyed the insight into British culture.
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Good post, and loved the William Morris quote, but unnecessary mentions of inbred parasite weddings give me hives. Where is the guillotine when you need one?
Anyway, back to the life of those who work for a living: we just finished a spring cleaning and were able to pack huge boxes of clothes and other things we no longer need–old computers, electronics, etc. Destination: the local flea market.
At this market the fee is $20 for a day, people pay in cash, and you keep all your revenues (unlike ebay, which bites you twice: first at the auction, then through paypal). There is electricity in some spots, enough space to park a pickup truck loaded with goods, and tons of bargain hunters looking to help you get rid of your excess stuff. Like a yard sale, only better.
Last time we went there (cold winter day, not a lot of people), we made about $400 in half day (9am-1pm) of sitting around chatting with strangers. Sold everything from blankets to paperbacks to office equipment.
Of course it’s easier not to buy the extra stuff in the first place.
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Well-Said, El Nerdo. I Feel That The Mentioning Of The Royal Wedding Was In Actuality Relevant Double-Fold: To Make The Article More Relevant To North-American And International Readers (Since It Seems To Be The Most Pressing Item Of Interest We Have Heard From Across The Pond In Years) And The Royal Family Themselves Exemplify A Type Of Overly-Grandios Lifestyle That Is Often Sought-After But Fairly Financially Unrealistic For Average Citizens. (Hence Our Necessary Need To De-Clutter)
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Alright, maybe, but I’d argue there are much more interesting or important news coming from the UK in recent times.
Off the top of my head, the British have been shooting missiles and providing military support to rebels in Libya for over a month now, the students rioted this past winter because their university tuition was tripled, and Red Dwarf is coming back.
But instead everyone focuses on the trash news. Just yesterday I was disappointed by an appalling Chris Matthews show because instead of the usual politics he decided to cover this wedding nonsense as if it was some sort of world-altering event. If he’s going to cover celebrities now, at least Michael Jackson had talent, so his funeral can keep going for another couple of years.
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I can’t read anything you type. All those inappropriate cap letters make my eyes jump all over the block of text.
I would like to read your comments but they make me too dizzy!
Also, paragraphs are helpful in separating ideas.
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Good article and great reminders on not bringing it home in the first place. I’m trying to “take out” (get rid of either in garbage bags or by giving it away or by recycling) more than I bring in these days.
Good inspirational article!
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I very much enjoyed this article, especially the part about not wasting food. I would politely like to point out that I counted a few spelling errors, so please proofread!
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That’s not polite.
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What? Errors are distracting and detract from the flow and content. It’s okay to remind a writer to proofread!
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Yes, noticed some too — “books I’ve never red” and “manta” (should be mantra).
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It’s absolutely okay to point out typos and other errors. In this case, the errors are mine, not Claire’s. I edited this in a hurry late last night. I originally had another story planned for today, but Claire sent this on Friday and mentioned it had a couple of timely references. So, when I got home from the soccer bar (I had to watch the Timbers lose), I spent an hour editing this for this morning. I did it in a rush, though, and I was tired, so I obviously did a poor job with the proof-reading. My fault completely, and I appreciate folks pointing out the problems. I just wish I’d caught them myself.
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JD sidebar
— I grew up in PDX and went to my first LA Galaxy game last night – as an Easter present from my 7 yr old godson – only to get there and find out they were playing my long lost beloved Timbers!!! Thankfully the 11 in-law family members I was with didn’t hold it against me for rootin’ for the Timbers 
PS Loved this post! I have already sold so many books on Amazon just trying to de-clutter…more stuff….
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Well, I think it’s very nice of JD to say that, but given I wrote it and made the mistakes in the first place I think I should probably take responsibility. Will proof read better next time!
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this is a great article and i would love to hear more from claire!
we stayed with my fiancee’s in-laws in scotland over christmas, and i loved how their house was exactly bit enough and no bigger — 2 bedrooms (master and guest), 2 baths, kitchen, dining room, living room, and conservatory. and it is lovely! tidy, organized, and super comfortable. reminded me of my grandparents’ house in ohio — also modest but extremely organized and comfortable.
wei strive for the same thing in our modest house and we’re getting there. we could use either a little bit less stuff, or a little bit more storage furniture for it. this post inspires me to try a bit more decluttering before buying more shelves!
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I also have a small house (850 sq. ft.) and have to be conscious of the things I buy. I do have a basement, but I was born without the pack rat gene and, therefore, only have a small corner of “stuff” piling up. This post has reminded me that I really need to get to that corner, as it is the last place I need to tackle!
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So, if I have only 2 bras who’s the woman with 30??
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She’s probably the one standing in line at the checkout buying more!
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Some of us are blessed with a chest like the British weather- it changes so often you have to be prepared for anything!
Plus you’ve got all your different occasion bras- sport bras, nude ones, push up, t-shirt, lacy, “bedroom only”
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Here, here. Great post. I’ve spending time since December de-cluttering in hopes it’s the LAST time I do it. Am selling on ebay and CL, selling jewelry and coins to estate dealers, and getting stuff together for a summer tag sale. I have done this sort of big clean out before, and still manage to have more stuff than I want. I *really* want this to be the final time of needing a major clean out. I’ve dramatically reduced the stuff around me, and haven’t brought anything (but food and underware — not 16 bras) into the house since December. Fingers crossed that this time I’m not going to let stuff creep back in.
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How many bras would we all consider reasonable, anyway?
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An unreasonable number is one more than the woman you’re asking.
7 seems about right depending on how sporty / sweaty you are.
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2 at a minimum. You must leave a day for the fabric of one to unstretch while you’re wearing the other. This maintains the life of the bra longer.
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You and the underwear! Personally, I say at least 7. They wear out fast in the wash though so if you have only 7 you have to constantly replace them. And if you’re a lingerie lover (like me) 7 is only the beginning. I think I lean more toward the 16 count myself.
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And then there are the freaks like me….who used to work in a lingerie store, and who has about 70 bras and 500 pairs of underwear. It was a gigantic waste of money, and I actually wear only about 10 bras regularly. I still have all this stuff sitting around though because I spent so much money on it in my youth and can’t bear to get rid of it without selling it to recoup some of my output. But, who wants to buy a bunch of bras, underwear and lingerie that doesn’t have tags on and has been worn (even if it was just once)? I’ve actually been thinking I should donate most of it to a local women’s shelter, but what’s the protocol on that?
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I heard there is massive demand for second hand bras in Africa. They’re expensive to manufacture and in hot climates a well fitting bra is really important. Not really sure where you donate them to get them there, however.
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Interesting take.
Re: the bra thing. Any woman knows you cannot wear the same bra over and over without sacrificing the elastic and quality. Bras are not made with the same materials as in the past. You need a bra for *almost* every day of the week if you expect it to last.
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I’ll be honest — I own 5 or 6 bras, I think. I wear each one for 5-7 days at a time. I wash them in cold water in the machine and then hang-dry. I buy 2-3 bras every 2 years (at an outlet mall for $20 or $30, I think). I only throw the bras out if the underwires break. My system has worked well for over a decade.
All the “I think” comments are because I buy bras so infrequently that I’m not quite sure. But I certainly don’t own a lot of bras nor am I super duper careful about them. I buy ‘em when I need more and don’t worry about it at other times.
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I have three bras; one black, one nude, I also have a sports bra. You really don’t need more (but if you are into buying bras, that’s fine!). If you hand wash them once a week or so they last a long time. And when they wear out, I will just buy two more, it’s no big deal. Knowing myself, even if I had seven or 16 I’d gravitate towards one or two anyway and not wear the other ones enough!
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When I moved 2 years ago I did a massive de-cluttering job, not only of my things but of many things that had belonged to my parents. I was living in my childhood home, which has 50 years worth of stuff crammed into it.
My ironclad two rules for my new (actually, built in1903) house were: 1) nothing in the bedroom except a bed, a dresser and one end table and 2) nothing on the dining room table except items actually related to dining (this means somewhere else for you, duck decoys!)
So far so good.
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The bra fitters at Nordstroms say a woman should have 8 bras. I have no idea where they come up with that figure.
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Well, if you do laundry once a week and wear one bra a day…
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I probably have 16 bras at this point, even after weeding some out. Six are my daytime, regular-use bras: white, nude, black. Basic. I have one strapless bra and one adjustable bra. The rest are very pretty, “date night” bras that are part of a set (bra/underwear). I love really nice lingerie and my husband doesn’t mind it either.
As long as my shape doesn’t change drastically, I’ll have the nicer bras for years to come. A trick I learned when visiting Paris is that for every bra you buy, you buy two pair of matching underwear, since underwear wears out faster.
Don’t dismiss the power of nice underwear! It can make you feel great.
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Good grief!
I know know more about women and their bras than I ever thought I needed to know.
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And you thought GRS was just about finances…
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At least it isn’t men’s underpants.
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Tyler covered mens awhile ago. Lol
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This is a slightly related question: How long do you ladies tend to keep your bras? A few years? Five? 10? Or until they are falling apart?
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Until they stop doing their jobs properly
I’ve read that we’re supposed to replace bras every 6 months, but I think a bra company came up with that guideline!
My fancy bras last for a long time because they get less use (e.g. going on dates as opposed to wearing to work for ten hours), but the ones I wear a lot sometimes need replacing every year or so.
I think a lot depends on quality and care. I hand wash/air dry and never wear the same bra two days in a row to give the elastic a rest. I’ve found that helps extend the life of the garments significantly.
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2 a year. By then the elastic is worn out on old ones.
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This might vary by your size. My bras don’t have a whole lot of work to do, so they might last longer than a bra that does heavy lifting every day!
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I think moving is the best way to realize how little you need. Knowing that we will move again in 3-5 years has keep me from buying too much and yet, I think this summer I will have a yard sale and sell a few things after our wedding. Not the presents but what the presents replaced.
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I don’t actually intend to move anytime soon but I do use the “would I pay to move this” question whenever I am decluttering (a few times a year). If I wouldn’t pay to move it then I have to assume that in most cases that means that I don’t really need or want it.
Unfortunately, my husband and my children won’t let anything go. I do a lot of stealth decluttering…
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Be careful of this. My family still claims this is why they’re hoarders. ‘Cause mom threw “everything” out when I was growing up. LOL
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I agree. My mother was a hoarder and I can’t stand any form of clutter in my house. My daughter is now showing signs of hoarding – hiding stuff under the bed, in closets, dressers because she’s afraid I’ll through it out! And the circle continues.
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What a delightful post! I particularly like the idea of gifting “experiences” like taking someone to dinner and spending time with them. Fantastic ideas all the way through this article. Thank you!!!
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Claire, thanks for your wisdom.
The part I liked the most was not buying items that I would probably use only one time.
I just learned this week on another PF blog about gadgets that serve only one purpose and are rarely if ever used, but take up much precious space. Learn to say “no” to that crap.
My wife and I are on the same page in regards to a lot of this frugality stuff, but she is a bit of a hoarder. I’m the opposite. I like knowing what I have and where it’s at.
Also related to having to move often. I used to move so often that I got tired of lugging my mattress and golf clubs around, and one time just left everything. Now that I live in a house long term (the longest ever in my life) it is nice to see something like a bathroom scale and realize I’ll never have to buy that again. Rootedness does save a lot money and shopping.
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I read this article re:clutter and this quote really resounded with me,”Clean as if you are moving.” That really helped me decide what was important. Sometimes, I leave things in a box to decide on them later. To my dismay, I have kids and a spouse that refuse to give up anything (broken toys, anyone?). So, they are a work in progress.
Since we may be moving, I had to do a deep cleaning for our realtor and she remarked on how great the place looked. My husband said he didn’t recognize the garage. I plan on having a garage sale to sell the items and what doesn’t sell will be donated.
I really like a non-cluttered home and will start on those boxes of junk this week to see what will happen to them…..
We are only purchasing necessary food and clothing items now. It’s a great feeling to see what I have and not have to search for it….
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3 or 4 every-day bras and a sports bra is enough for me. Fewer while I’m pregnant and changing size every couple months.
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It’d be nice if this comment was nested up with the other bra comments!
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Simplicity and neatness really are their own rewards. My wife and I always try to get rid of things as soon as we bring in a new replacement. This results in zero growth. Obviously, this isn’t always possible due to sentimental reasons.
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“Simplicity and neatness are their own rewards.” I love that!
I’m naturally a neat person, and find joy in cleaning and de-cluttering (Virgo). Last weekend I went through my closet and found an old box with photocopied writings I’ve carried around for 7+ years. I’m going to donate the zines to a local independent bookshop, and can use the box to store art materials.
Another great thing about decluttering is that you can determine what’s useful and re-use the items that were just being stored.
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Okay, I have to pipe up on the bra thing.
I’m a nursing mother, so I have three nursing bras. I also have two maternity sleep bras and three or four regular maternity bras. Then for my ‘normal’ bras, I have a few white and beige cotton ones, a sports one, and some ‘dressier’ ones for my husband’s amusement. So having 16 bras is really not a stretch!
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I buy $50 bras (half price if I can get ‘em “off the rack”) so there’s no way I could ever have 16. In terms of frugality 16???!!! I could even understand those with 4, but 7?! LOL
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I read a book once about wardrobe planning and the author mentioned that Ivana Trump buys 6,000 bras every six months; white nude and black ones and then the store sends 2,000 each to her three homes. I was absolutely aghast. How can a woman wear that many? I mean six months is 183 days! How do you wear almost 38 bras a day?!!! It was a revelation to me about how the uber wealthy live (and waste!). At the time I read the book I was at a very low point financially and had just patched my one bra so it would last a while longer. Now I have two, so that I have one to wear while the other is in the wash.
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Tips, eh?
My favorite is to put things you aren’t sure about in a box for a while before selling or donating them. Then you have some time to tell yourself, “Wait! What was I thinking?” and run and go get something out of the box.
For clothes, some people like to turn all the hangers around and then, as you put back the clothes you’ve warn, put the hangers in the good direction. Then after a while, there will be some clothes that you can see you have never worn, which is probably good data. You could probably do a similar thing with clothes in drawers (by, say, putting the collar toward the front of the drawer unless you’ve worn it) and with things like books (by, say, putting a folder at one end of the books and then every time you use a book, you move it to the other side of the folder.
My favorite rules for books are to keep only the ones I’ll reread, the ones I like to lend out, and the reference books that haven’t been replaced by the internet.
My best tip for clothes is to get really picky. I now only get things that fit, that go with something I have, that are comfortable, that are washable, that have pockets (for pants, skirts, and blazers), etc. In fact, once I have enough of anything, getting very picky is my main strategy. For example, I have enough furniture, but if I see an awesome replacement for something in my current “grandma’s attic” collection, I can get. I’m now to the point where not only will I not get any more cardboard furniture, I also won’t get any particle board furniture. Oh, yes, moving into the big time now. (Although I do have some cardboard and particle board furniture that still serves me well.)
Another thing, besides going for things with multiple uses, go for things that are durable, easy to maintain, easy to repair, etc., so they can last a long time. That goes for lots of things: appliances, tools, hair cuts…
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I loved this article! Thank you. I especially understand the part about having too much of an item.
Why buy a case of something (even non-perishable) if you only need 1 or 2? The case is probably $10 and it’d be $6 if you bought one or two. Still saving $4 and less junk to wade through in your house!
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I am not willing to clutter my now with just-in-case and someday, maybe items.
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Sometimes just donating goods and clothes to salvation army and Goodwill gives you more happiness then selling on CL or eBay. I did sale stuff on eBay and CL. But nah, Goodwill is where I will go in future. it gives a sweet feeling of giving to less fortunate
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Freecycle is another option. People pay more than used stuff is worth at goodwill. Sweater $10. Clearance sweater $10 so not that great a deal.
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I have a difficult time tossing a lot of stuff at once. The items have some emotional cost to toss. Because of this I stall out when I try to complete major de-cluttering projects. My solution is to get rid of something each week when I take the rubbish can out to the curb for pick up. This way, each week I get rid of something of no further use to me. Two surprises happened. This practice of “continuous de-cluttering” keeps me from buying unnecessary items. Before I make a purchase I now view the item through the lens of “When will I toss this?”. the second benefit is that I’ve uncovered lots of items of no use to me, but with sufficient value to sell on ebay, or free cycle. Not lucrative, but I get the warm feeling that comes from passing things on that may be useful to others.
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Great post! I hate clutter, and I move frequently…
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For those w/husbands and kids who will not part w/anything, you just have to purge the Stuff when they’re not around – yay for a job and school! And they never miss the junk anyway. It’s the only way that I can sanely declutter.
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Grace, I don’t know if you’re kidding. ….
One of my fave bloggers Tanja at Minimalist Packrat recently wrote:
“Warning. Against most advice I don’t recommend decluttering any of their things without their knowledge. My mom did this to me and it made me clutch even tighter to what I owned (and caused a big chunk of resentment).”
http://minimalistpackrat.com/2011/03/02/helping-kids-declutter-their-stuff/
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My sister has 3 children and lives in a relatively small house where clutter isn’t really an option. Before Christmas all the kids go through their toys to thin them out and give to charity and after a birthday I know there is some system of donating one for every two new presents or something like that. Seems to work great for her.
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I have also had the book clutter issue. What helped me was to give the books away to places like shelters. Of course, ask first if they actually need your books! But many places like shelters and libraries in poor areas often need and gladly welcome books.
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Good post. I actually just recently went through my apartment and eliminated lots of things that I no longer needed, had never used, or that weren’t mine (apparently there was still things of an ex-girlfriend’s hidden around the apartment).
While it was a little difficult to pitch some things that I thought I MAY use one day, I’m really glad I did, because now there’s nothing I come across and feel guilty for not getting any use out of. Everything that I still own I get my money’s worth out of, many times over.
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Great article!
I used to live in a 3-bedroom flat before moving into a one storey terrace house and having 2 roommates now. The bigger house meant less space for me because I used to have a whole house to myself (but now have to share it with 2 other people) that I’ve had to purge and reasses the necessity of some of the stuff that I had.
My main weaknesses are books and cds/dvds. I download but I still like hvg the physical cd/dvd – it has a diff feel to it.
My boyfriend certainly has less stuff than I do. The only thgs he really buys are dvds and books. I think his minimalist approach is due to him being in the army where he is used to living with just the basics and making do (he’s been deployed 3 times). And coz he’s a guy
I’ve been learning a lot from him, making sure I stop collecting/buying more crap. Gotten better but having to go back on forth btw the US and Malaysia can mean having 2 of the same/similar things! I visit him a few times a year so I have clothes etc at his place which I don’t see for some time so stimes I forget I have em! Hope to end that soon when I move for good.
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Let me recommend http://www.flylady.net for help decluttering.
We’re in the middle of spring cleaning at my house, and the last thing to do is the basement and actually moving the clutter out (my goal for this week). We’ve been cleaning top-down and putting all the stuff to get rid of in a pile down there. The rest of the house looks great, but the Goodwill pile has just been growing for the last few months and hasn’t made it out of the house yet.
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I don’t know where you live, but most areas have charities that will come and pick up your donations – Salvation Army, Goodwill, Amvets, etc. all have regular pickup schedules in SoCal. That has helped me get things out the door for good…
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I declutter in layers. I get rid of what is easy, realize I do not miss it, gain confidence and go after the “moderate” group. I sell almost everything (craig’s list, garage sales) and scrap anything that is metal. With the money I take my family out to dinner setting up a reward system.This reinforces the positive aspects of decluttering.
What I find of interest in the posts to the article, is we no longer know what we need. If you need 7 bras buy 7 (limited laundry will be the reason behind this). If you have access to laundry buy what you need based on laundry habits etc.We are so used to being told by the media what we need and who we are that we no longer make that determination for ourselves. I realized this some time ago and changed many of my buying habits based on what I needed not what someone else needed me to buy.
Thank you for the good article and posts.
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Thank you for this well written and very useful article. I have been meaning to de-clutter my house and my life (and thinking) for some time now and you offered the small nudge I needed. And yes, I’ll start immediately and it is Easter Monday – good time to start important stuff like that.
I see de-cluttering one’s space as very important: and for me it is not only an exercise that makes our living space nicer and cleaner. I crave it because of its link to de-cluttering our minds and thinking.
If I were to take one message away though it will be: clutter is not only unpleasant, unpractical and ugly but it is also very wasteful.
Thank you!
Maria
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Great post
The bra comments got me thinking about how much clothing clutter we ladies accumulate! I seem to have bras and shoes for just about any purpose now, but it annoys me how little some of them get used but they’re too expensive to replace. (I’m taller and thinner than most people I know, so borrowing isn’t an option and it’s hard to find things used or on consignment.)
For most things, I try to remind myself that the item should go out and be useful in the world rather than sitting in my closet or cupboard. I find imagining other people using the item helps me let go.
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Loved the post – thank you Claire! Yesterday, before reading this post, I went through my overstuffed bookcase and discarded 2 big bags of books – one for my mom she can exchange with her friends, another to donate to the library – and my book case is still full.
I don’t have a husband or kids, but there are still people in my life that sabotage my efforts – with gift clutter. One good friend loves to shop for little gifts all year long – more holiday dish towels, 2 huge ornament hangers (she gave me 2 last year), cookie recipe books, 2 more candles I’ll never burn, and more stuff, stuff, stuff. So I’ve had to tell her that she can’t get me more than one “thing” next year. I hope she truly heard me. A cousin comes each year for Thanksgiving and gives me a hostess gift – this year, I’m telling her that anything she gifts me has to be edible (I don’t need another fondue set or more Christmas dish towels).
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Thank you for the reminder of the William Morris quote. I am trying to declutter now and need to keep the “useful and beautiful” idea in mind at all times!
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Longtime reader, first time commenter. One thing that really resonated with me was the idea that regular purging forces you to actually know what you have. I used to have a very large and disorganized wardrobe, but after moving a couple of times in the last year I’ve been forced to pare it way down. I could probably write a list from memory of the clothing I have in this state, and that keeps me from spending.
I’m not tempted by this season’s fascination with stripes (seriously they’re on everything in stores right now) because I know I have a striped dress, a striped long sleeved tee, and a striped tunic. Last year at least one of those items would be buried under other clothing I barely wore/remembered creating the illusion that I didn’t own this season’s trends, when in fact I had the means to be fashionable all along.
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This was a great article, I already replied to the library stream, and I could honestly comment on about a dozen thing in this article. Lots of great info, new fresh perspective, well done JD and Claire.
I also had to mention that that is one of my absolute FAVORITE quotes to reflect on when deciding what stays and what goes. I am ruthless when it comes to my kitchen. I think it’s becase I feel it is the one space in my home that is truly mine to make as I like, to decide what stays and goes, I have the time (and money) to make sure it is streamlined and functional and I don’t have to share it with anyone. I have to share the closet, basement and garage with my hubby, but the kitchen is mine. That quote sure comes in handy.
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I completely agree. It does sound counter intuitive but you can think straight when there is less stuff. Knowing what you have does make life easier. You don’t waste money rebuying stuff you already have. I also end up finding things I can sell. Great post.
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I resonate with this post big time. I’ve even written about the same “enlightenment” (http://mutantsupermodel.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/like-money-like-home/) that comes with de-cluttering more than once. I actually enjoy de-cluttering when I have the energy to sit and do it. You learn a lot about yourself in the process.
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For books, even audio ones: http://www.paperbackswap.com. It is amazing! I’ve saved $414 (based on a book price of $4.50 in the real world.) I love it! Its recycling at the highest degree.
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As another regular GRS reader from the UK, I was struck by the mentions of Primark, pound stores and BOGOF deals, all of which have been widely criticised.
Primark = Poorly made clothes designed for obsolescence and ‘crafted’ in sweatshops. I once read that they were introducing some Fair Trade products, asked about it in one of their stores and was actually laughed at by the sales assistant.
Pound shops = Flimsy, disposable plastic crap and unpopular and unhealthy branded foodstuffs. For every product that lasts more than a year, there will be nine disappointments!
BOGOF deals = Criticised for targeting the UK’s less than savvy shoppers with unhealthy goods they don’t need, but buy anyway and increasing problems with waste.
While downsizing is definitely a good thing, I found a certain schizophrenic quality to your article – on the one hand, you seem to be suggesting it’s a bad thing that we have less crap made in China than the average North American, but on the other, you’re talking about frugality!
Your quote from William Morris was amusing, as he was an early trailblazer for high quality hand crafted goods versus mass produced tat; the throwing up of large, beautiful properties that would last for centuries versus cheap and for trying to reverse the trait of general disregard for culture and the arts.
Another couple of points of clarification could include the fact that while houses are typically considerably smaller in the UK, this is because we are restricted both geographically and by outmoded planning legislation. I felt your article implied that we had small houses because we were all ‘stuff imporverished’ compared to someone from the USA.
In addition, we have far higher population density (roughly 9x that of the USA), meaning that the average American simply couldn’t afford to buy the same size of house if they kept their current salary, but were magically transplanted into the UK.
Finally (and sorry for the moans) – nobody in the UK refers to a ‘cell phone’ – I take it this was an edit by J.D.?
In closing (and so this doesn’t just seem like one big rant), I think there are fundamental differences between UK and US consumers (although your point about the explosion of easy credit was very relevant). I celebrate our differences and would be happy enough for us to avoid becoming a facsimile of the USA! I’m fascinated by North America, love to visit it and find the history intriguing, but the prevailing attitude to consumerism isn’t one that I think is best emulated.
On a related point, one blog that I enjoy browsing through for a bit of good old fashioned British frugality is Simple Living in Suffolk (I have no affilliation).
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Thanks Luke for the interesting comments and I’ll certainly look at the blog you suggest. I wanted to provide a bit of context for people in the US who might not be familiar with the UK (cells was me, not JD. I also resisted the temptation to try and explain Argos!). I’m not advocating that simply because people can go crazy in Pound Shops that they should. Or that house sizes should be larger.
I think there are people in the UK unthinkingly buying ‘bargains’ because consumer goods are more cheaply available now than in the past, without considering whether they need them – or the impact on the environment.
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I had to laugh reading some of these comments, because they brought up some memories. Every now and again something (like a ratty old t-shirt one of us refused to get rid of) would just “disappear.” When we asked my mom about it, she would claim to have no idea where it went and advise us to take better care of our things. We laugh about it now as adults, but it sure wasn’t very amusing at the time….
(And it definitely didn’t make us resentful or turn us into hoarders…clutter drives me nuts!)
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