Reader Story: How I Learned About Frugality from De-Cluttering
Published on - April 24th, 2011 (by J.D. Roth) This guest post from Claire Brown is part of the “reader stories” feature at Get Rich Slowly. Some stories contain general advice; others are examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success — or failure. These stories feature folks from all levels of financial maturity and with all sorts of incomes.
I’m writing to you today from sunny London about how I learned frugality by throwing things away. This may sound counter-intuitive; if being frugal is about economy and not wasting things, then throwing things away could be seen as a big admission of defeat.
But in the same way that having a budget is about consciously spending your money, I think consciously taking stock of what you throw away and — vitally — how it found its way into your house in the first place is a great way to become more frugal in the future.
UK vs. USA
First, a few words on some similarities and differences between the United Kingdom and the United States of America.
You’re probably getting more UK news in America right now because of the Royal Wedding. While Kate and William have recycled the engagement ring, I doubt their wedding will be as frugal as the Queen’s wedding was when post-War rationing was still in place.
In many ways the UK and US are very similar. Consumer credit is easy to get, so a lot of people are carrying massive personal debts. An explosion in house prices encouraged many people to borrow against the equity in their home and for a while it was possible to get 110% home loans (i.e. the bank would lend you 10% more than a house’s value). That bubble’s burst now, but I could still walk down the high street and get an interest-free couch, half a dozen store cards, and a personal loan for a holiday without much trouble.
However, the cheap abundance of consumer goods that the US has enjoyed since the 1950s is relatively new here. For many years the UK was known as ‘rip-off’ Britain. Consumer campaigns, the European Union, internet shopping, and China’s booming manufacturing sector have all driven down prices. It’s still very easy to find terrible overpriced food in the UK, particularly around tourist hot spots. But there has been a real explosion in budget clothing and home stores, like Primark and Pound Saver, and BOGOF deals (Buy One, Get One Free). If you walked through the new Westfield London Mall on a Saturday you might think the UK was shopping mad. And you might just be right. The average British woman now owns sixteen bras and buys four new ones each year. This kind of abundance is relatively new to the UK and the novelty hasn’t worn off.
But home sizes are smaller than in the US or places like Canada, Australia or New Zealand. The average new home in the UK is a third the size of its US counterpart.
So unless you happen to have inherited a grand country pile you probably will need to de-clutter on a regular basis. Will and Kate won’t need to worry about where to store their surplus wedding presents, but the rest of us do.
How did I learn to be frugal by throwing things away?
Between the ages of 20 and 35, I moved house ten times. The two moves that really made me re-evaluate my spending habits were moving countries, and moving to a third floor apartment in a building without a lift.
- Why did I have all this Stuff which I never used from one year to the next?
- How on earth had I managed to buy all this on my modest income?
- I had never had 19 people drinking champagne in my flat at one time, so why did I feel the need to have 19 champagne flutes?
- Why did I keep running out of cardboard boxes?
These were the questions I asked myself as I struggled to get everything packed in time.
I’ve bought a flat now and don’t plan to move again for a very long time. But I want to maintain the habit of regularly going through my cupboards to work out what I need and what I don’t. Because doing this stops me spending. Safe in the knowledge that I have eight very nice champagne flutes, why would I buy any more? I have a generous three sets of sheets (one for us, one for guests, one in the wash), so I’m not even tempted by the John Lewis sale.
I would also argue that a well-ordered house makes it easier to be frugal because you can find things when you need them. My grandfather was a real hoarder, because he grew up on a farm in the Depression when you kept everything. But that only works if you can find what you need when you need it. When clearing out his house after his death my mother found four full toiletry bags because whenever he went on holiday he wouldn’t be able to find the last one amongst all the clutter.
The hard part
So if it’s a while since you’ve moved house, take a day to clean out your wardrobe, the cupboard under the stairs, the closet in the spare bedroom, your loft or your cellar. Work out what you still use and what you can get rid of. Julie Lanoie at the Downsize Challenge has some great ideas for what to do with your unwanted stuff.
But before you put your stuff on eBay or take it to the charity shop, add up how much you spent on each item to work out what it actually cost you.
- How much did you spend on those books you read only once?
- Did you pay for that iPod on plastic?
- What was the thinking behind that purchase? Did you want to keep up with the Joneses? Treat yourself after a hard day? Was it too good a bargain to put down? Was it really worth it?
This kind of analysis is what will help shift you from being a compulsive to a conscious spender.
My biggest mistakes and best tips
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned over the years:
- Clothes. I’m a sucker for a sale, and generally the clothes I’ve bought but never worn were ‘great’ bargains at the time. But of course if you never wear it, it’s not a great bargain and you might as well throw the money away. So now I’ve worked out my body shape and which colours suit me, designed a capsule wardrobe, and I keep a list on my cell phone of the new clothes I need for when I’m shopping.
- ‘Once a year’ goods. These are the items that only see the light of day a few times a year: camping goods, DIY equipment, sports gear, and cooking appliances like ice-cream makers. My boyfriend and I have been camping once, when we went to a music festival. We used Freecycle and eBay to acquire things that we were likely to use on a regular basis (e.g., a picnic set and airbed) and we borrowed most of the rest from friends (e.g., the tent and camp stove). We enjoyed it but not so much that we’ve felt the urge to go again. If you only use your tile cutter or drill once a year, then chances are your neighbours are the same and will be happy to lend them to you. Of course, if you decide you love camping or skiing or pasta-making then you can go out and buy the full kit, but try before you buy.
- Books and music. If I were stuck on a desert island, I’d take my complete Jane Austen with me. I can happily re-read her books over and over again. But some books, like murder mysteries, are distinctly one-read only. So I’ve stopped buying them and borrow them from libraries or friends. For music, try before you buy via an internet radio station like Last.fm or Spotify. But while I am committed to frugality I don’t pirate music, because I don’t think I should enforce my frugality on composers and musicians by denying them royalties.
- Food. I’ve thrown away more bags of slimy salad leaves than I care to name. So I decided a few years ago to only buy whole lettuces instead. A lettuce will last two or three weeks in the fridge, so you can create your own salad mix. Once a week, generally before I do the food shopping, I turn out the fridge and make curries, soups, stews and other meals with those ingredients at the end of their natural lives. Try Love Food, Hate Waste for ideas. Internet food shopping is very competitive in the UK, and the only supermarkets near where I live in London are really small. So I buy my groceries on the web and I can always pop to the kitchen while I’m shopping to see if I’ve run out of pasta or need more eggs.
- Technology. It is a truth universally acknowledged that if you wait a while to buy your technology, it will probably be better and cheaper than the version available on day. Frugal Dad had a really interesting post the other day on things our grandparents lived without. If you believe that your life isn’t complete without the latest gadget, then at least get rid of your redundant gizmos quickly. A two-year-old cell phone has some value. A ten-year-old cell? None. My father has a computer graveyard for a study. He loves computers and new technology. But when he buys a new printer/computer/laptop, he still keeps the old one just in case. So at last count I saw four computers, three laptops, and five printers. If he’d got rid of them when he made each new purchase then they could have been of use to someone else. Now they’re completely obsolete and good for nothing but the scrap heap.
- Gifts. Whenever I move house, one of the hardest things to deal with is gifts. I’ve been given some great presents over the years. But I also tend to come across books I’ve never read, jewellery I’ve never worn and ornaments I frankly do not like. Presents also tend to follow themes based on your known interests, like cooking or travel, so I’ve been given a lot of similar gifts over the years. These are things my family and friends have spent their money on and chosen for me. So I feel really bad that I just don’t want them. Is it okay to re-gift? After reading April Dykman’s great posts on Get Rich Slowly how money can buy happiness if we spend it right, I’m thinking of politely suggesting to friends and family not to give gifts, to give to charity in my name or give me experiences instead of things. I would much prefer a dinner out together than another apron to go in the drawer with the three aprons I already own.
Over one-hundred years ago, English textile designer and artist William Morris wrote, “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” That’s a mantra I now try to live by. I think consciously about what I buy and consider the pros and cons of each purchase.
But I’m sure there are some pretty frugal readers out there with some more great tips and some reformed spendaholics too. What are your best suggestions?
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One image I find inspiring when dealing with clutter is that “everything you own is linked to you by a thread of energy” Yes, even all the junk hidden away in basements/attics/back of the cupboard! Decluttering gives you energy as the thousands of cobwebs linking you to stuff you own but don’t need/care about/even remember you have get broken!
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Every few months, I have an “everything must go” sale. I don’t actually sell anything, but the concept amuses me so it helps me get rid of things. I also decided (during one of those moments I actually think I am going to run away from home) that if it doesn’t fit into a backpack, I don’t need it.
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This was worth the price of admission just for the Love Food Hate Waste link. I’ve killed most of my morning on that site!
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We moved from one side of the country to the other and we agreed that the house we were in was much too big. One complete “family” room was unused. The moving company estimated 1 full size truck + overflow after walking the house. I used Freecycle, Goodwill, and trash to clear out. Regretfully, I was not done before move day came. Though even with 6 motorcycles, we only used 1/2 of the full size truck to move out of a 2,000+ sf house.
We moved into 1,200 sf. for our family of 4. Much Better!!! The kids will be out of the house in 2 more years. We intend to reduce again at that time.
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I disapprove of the bra point! [if weight fluctuates, bras do need to be bought every 6-12 months! Then again, if you're buying your bras from Primark, I have no sympathy lol]
That aside, very good article
Also refreshing to see a fellow Londoner on an american blog – something, at least, that I’ve rarely seen.
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I worked at a debt management company specializing in facilitating repayment in the United Kingdom.
My time there provided a very sobering view of personal finance because everyone that I talked to had cratered, but even still a large number of the clients do not express much financial awareness.
There are a few things I have taken away from my time there
1) Money does not equal wealth. I talked to people who have a monthly excess to pay debts over £700 and those who had less than £30. (as a point of reference my take home was less than £700).
2) Too much credit is like too much food. Credit is necessary to make the world go round but too much of it or using it as an response to your life situation is bad bad bad.
3) Creditors do not care, they want their money, ideally 100% but 65-80% will do (why do you think they charge for sending out chase letters? It is merely something to be trading away when closing out an account). Creditors will be mean to you because it makes them money. It’s not personal, if you choose to make it so then you are wasting your energy. Write down their information, tell them to go away and contact the financial ombudsman if they are obnoxious.
4) Even though this is a tragic situation for many people – full of gnashing of teeth – the fuller tragedy would be forgiveness without effort. This is hard because something has to change.
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this is my 1st time to click on this blog, it was a link on a blog I read everyday. So I have to say I am highly disappointed – that Clair isn’t the full time blogger here! No offense to JD, I just don’t know you yet, but where can I read more Clair?
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Great article. Very well written and inspiring. I definately need to declutter my reuse items that are just laying around forgotten. Thanks!
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i loved this post and all of the comments.
two things you made me think of:
one of my aunts used to say “if i can’t eat it or wear it, i don’t want it.” i only ever gave her edible gifts.
the other thing you made me think of is one of the best decluttering tips i’ve ever read. i wish i could remember whose tip this is, but he or she said if you have a pile of papers to go through, flip it over, and start at the bottom. those will likely be the papers you will find it easiest to discard.
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I’ve completed the “big de-clutter” and I’m now in maintenance. A rule that has worked well for me is the “new one in, old one out.” The idea is that the only way to keep the “stuff” level the same is not to add to it, so whenever I’m thinking about buying something new, I have to decide about what it’s going to replace. It forces me to access the value of the new item against what I already have. I want a new spring blouse, I have to decide what blouse at home will go in the charity bin. It works with everything books, kitchen utensils, furniture, you name it.
I told my Dad, who lived through the Great Depression, about my rule and his comment was, “It goes to charity even if there’s nothing wrong with it?” Now I know where my clutter genes come from.
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Hear! Hear! I’ve written several blog entries over the years about our battles with “stuff”. After decades of youthful accumulation (it’s the nature of youth, I think) we’ve reached seniority enough to simplify. We’re narrowing down to just a few good things. This year, I think we’re winning the battle at last.
The hardest part is one item you mentioned: “politely suggesting to friends and family not to give gifts, to give to charity in my name or give me experiences instead of things.” Friends and family sometimes seem somehow to dote on, or even demand, the tactile exchange of material items (“stuff”) especially at year-end. It’s hard to avoid, without some emotional stress!
Still, for one, we emptied a library of 2000 books this past year, and based on that, you may imagine what other mounds of “stuff” we shedded.
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What % of gross would be a reasonable allowance for discretionary spending (dvds, apps, (e)books, etc)?
So, for example, if someone grosses 100k, is 5% or $400 a month be reasonable?
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Thanks for sharing your story! We’re moving this summer, so I am in the middle of a similar project. I am trying to take care of one item a day, and I find that having a schedule and posting my efforts on my blog makes it manageable and makes me feel like I’m making progress.
Tallying up what you originally spent on the items is a good idea!
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Great post overall – the only comment I have is that although we almost never go camping, the same gear you need for that tends to be awfully useful in an emergency situation (water purifier, portable stove, extra insulation & shelter). Living in British Columbia where we’re regularly told to expect an earthquake means that that stuff gets houseroom even if it’s rarely used.
So while you’re going through your stuff an analyzing if you ever use it, it might be worth considering ‘reclassification’ before getting rid of it.
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I have a very simple philosophy, if it isn’t working for you it is working against you!
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For New Zealanders….. but if you are not read on anyway!
I have found a great way to dispose of that clutter! there is a new website called AskShareGive or http://www.asksharegive.org.nz It is a nationwide not-for-profit website where you can list your unwanted gear to give away! you can also request stuff, although as you are decluttering you won’t want to do this!
When you are having a clean out you might find goods that you consider are not worth selling on, or maybe you can’t be bothered to sell them – In this case using AskShareGive is a great alternative. People collect things from you so no need to clutter your house with paper and parcel tape (as if you were selling it on Trademe), nor to clutter the car by loading it all in there to take somewhere, just let the person know what day you are home, leave outside the front door, (if you don’t feel like meeting anyone) and its quickly and quietly removed from you before you get sentimental and change your mind. However if you are highly sentimental about something and are only just able to part with it; you can choose someone to give it to, could be someone that promises to love it like you did, a community organisation or something.
I am currently decluttering my shed using this system and I can’t tell you the relief I am feeling. I am a horder from way back! My goods are going to hand picked individuals who are so grateful!
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A lovely story indeed. Thanks for sharing something so personal. I enjoyed it.
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For anyone interested in an update from the OP I spent the weekend having a big clear out. I now have piles in my hallway for eBay, recycling, charity shop and friends. Sadly, a lot of the items I am saying goodbye to are unwanted gifts – so I will be encouraging friends and family to either not buy me gifts or give experiences rather than things. Also, a lot of the things hitting the recycling bin are simply worn out which is a good sign. I still buy too many books however.
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Bravo! I couldn’t have said it better myself.
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