Most of my friends are married or otherwise partnered and many have kids. So it’s difficult to start new activities with them, since their schedules are much more structured than mine. However, I’ve used meetup.com off and on for years to try new activities with other people. I don’t mind online dating, but I would much prefer to meet someone f2f doing something we both like.

Thanks so much for the encouragement.

@ Beth – exactly!

While studying Italian at home isn’t working, do you need to pay a tutor? (Not that I want to put your tutor out of work!) I’m not against paying for things you want.

Bit often we think we have to pay for something for it to be valuable.

Do you want to pay for something you can get in a different way for less or for free?

For example – If your goal is to continue to improve and keep up a language skill, maybe you can join a conversation club. I was part of one overseas. I joined an English speaking group. Some were native speakers like me and some were locals wanting to improve their English. Or you could volunteer where people speak Italian, like at a retirement home.

@ Leah — I like that idea I’m going to give it a try. (And you’ve given me the perfect defense when my family starts in on me again…)

Sometimes I feel the same way. I’m single and when I think about setting up an online dating profile, I often think the same thing. I’ve cut a lot of things in favor of saving more, so now I feel less interesting.

I think what this means is that I just haven’t taken enough time to evaluate my priorities and put numbers to them. It’s up to each of us to draw the lines in the sand about how much and how fast. This is about your income, your obligations (debt, down payment, retirement, etc) and also your temperament. As others have said, it’s not just finance, but Personal Finance.

Also, it can also be wise to pay others to do certain repairs or work on the home or car, as opposed to DIY. Have to consider your time and true ability to do the same quality work as someone who specializes.

Just about the only Italian I picked up while in Italy a few years ago. And, of course, “grazi”.

These classes cost almost $200, which is a pretty penny for me. However, they are both worth what I will take away from them. I can’t wait to get started next month!

Claire makes a great point – there also needs to be some prioritization to determine what gets or deserves your spending money on it. Health is a great example; another would be preparation for exams like the GRE, MCAT, LSAT, or GMAT. You can prepare by yourself or with friends by purchasing books and taking practice exams – but sometimes, classes can help if you can afford them. If your furthering your education is a priority, then those types of classes may be a worthy investment.

Maybe it means cutting down on something else: but knowing not only what you want – but what you need help getting – is key.

I could work out at my house for free (Using fitness DVD’s from the library/cable) but would I actually stick to that strategy? Probably Not.

When I did have a gym membership, I was going 3 times a week and feeling really good about it. I was more motivated to go. I was more dedicated to go and I was able to eat more of the foods that I want to eat because I was exercising more. I even had more energy!

When I became a mom, I canceled my membership because my situation changed and I wouldn’t have time to keep up. I would have wanted to go but would have never had the time to go and would have lacked in motivation.

Different strokes for different folks.

It is a balancing act and I think a lot of what people don’t like about some personal finance advice is that it sounds like “everyone should do x to save money.” It doesn’t leave any room for us to realize that we are all different and what works for me may not work for you. Also, what works for me now may not work for me forever.

What I absolutely love about this blog is it gives you ideas about how to bring balance to your life. Yeah, you may pay more for a gym membership but you’re probably more motivated to go and you’re getting out of the house. No one is here making you feel bad because you’re paying for something that you could get for free. They’re just suggesting that you to be financially responsible (don’t go into debt for it, put it in your budget, etc.)

I’ve encountered this in my crafting habits. There are times I’ve really wanted a knitting pattern, but I knew that I could reverse engineer it myself and save the money. (For example, a 2×2 ribbed sock is not worth paying $5 for.) However, when I realized that I *could* figure pattern X out, but it would take days – or weeks – it became a lot smarter to buy the pattern. I could have recreated the pattern, but the time I would have spent on it was important enough to me that I wanted to use it for making the object.

My question is where do you draw the line? I always feel like I should be doing more — more money for retirement, more money for emergency fund, more money for a down payment, etc. We get so many mixed messages from PF blogs — try to find balance versus you’re never saving enough (unless you’re a high earner or independently wealthy).

At the rate I’m going, I’m going to be a very boring person by the time I reach retirement!

I do have to bring up one point though: if you think you would like to accomplish a goal (i.e. learn a new language) but can’t seem to get the initiative to do it yourself, it’s worth asking if this was really your goal all along or did you pick up this goal either because it sounded good or is actually someone else’s goal for you? I’d suggest writing down your personal to-do list that are only things that you want to do just because you want to, and write down EVERYTHING that you can think of. Look at that list & see what immediately sticks out and makes you excited. You might be surprised to find that one item you thought was so important (i.e. learning a language) isn’t even one of the top 5 things that motivate you to act.

That is incredibly valuable thing to know about yourself; we all need accountability. And paying for accountability is worth it. Having someone else there to help motivate you and keep you on track is a valuable key to making sure you reach your goals at all. Yes, you need to keep your budget on track and not overspend, but spending carefully to keep you focused on what you value is so worth it!

What you are paying for in a tutor is familiarity with a native Italian speaker– a role that you are ontologically impaired fill yourself. You could try talking to the mirror for an hour every day, but somehow I don’t think it would work…

It’s not the lessons or pedagogical methods that make the tutor unique, it’s the interaction in Italian. Human interaction is key to language learning. There are so many cognitive and psychological differences between a person with a face and a book that I can’t begin to mention them. You’re not going to Italy to interact with grammar props, you’re going there to interact with real human beings.

3×5″ pieces of cardboard do not smile, frown, look surprised, laugh at your jokes, compliment your appearance, tell you what’s the best dish in the menu, ask you to wait in line, or take you to meet their mother.

When we pay somebody else for something it’s often a completely different product or service than the DIY options can offer.