Over the last few months, a lot of new folks have stopped by Get Rich Slowly. Many have stuck around to become regular readers. Thank you. With the influx of traffic, though, the tone of our discussions has become a little less civil. This isn’t so good. It’s time for a quick review of the GRS comment policy.
Remember, the other folks here are real people, a lot like you
There are certain things I don’t allow at Get Rich Slowly. You can criticize me, the staff writers, and the guest posters all you want, but I’m not going to let you do it in a nasty manner, and I’m not going to let you spread misinformation and hysteria. If you leave a comment and it doesn’t appear, it’s not because I’m trying to squelch your opinion. Either the comment is stuck in the spam filter (in which case I’ll rescue it soon), or you’ve crossed the line from constructive criticism to personal attack (or financial falsehoods).
Furthermore, rude comments on reader stories will not be tolerated; I delete them out of hand, and I feel no remorse for doing so.
How do you tell the difference? Here are a couple of examples. This comment is critical, but it’s constructive. It’s perfectly fine:
This is a really poor story to post on Get Rich Slowly. There are so many financial holes, things apparently left out, and personal justifications and excuses by the writer that I can’t take a single thing from this to apply to my life.
Or this comment from earlier today:
I have only been reading this website for a few months but these are the types of posts I enjoy the least. You ask readers not to write to a narrow audience and yet you do so today — to readers wanting to write free material for a blog you make your living off of. This could be a link off the top but should not be a post IMHO. Niche garden post followed by dont waste my time post — slow weekend on GRS.
These commenters aren’t being emotional, and they’re not attacking anyone. They’re stating their arguments and providing constructive feedback. This is a Good Thing, and demonstrates that even people who disagree can have a polite discussion.
This comment, on the other hand, is way out of line, and will never see the light of day at Get Rich Slowly (well, except as an example of what not to do):
He’s probably better off without this callous bitch. Too bad she has children.
Or this:
Dear Laura, You are an idiot. [...] Perhaps you should do a little fact checking before calling yourself an “expert”.
Thankfully, Get Rich Slowly doesn’t get many comments like these. You folks are great, and you too seem to like sane, constructive conversations. But sometimes after periods of growth — such as the blog is experiencing right now — new readers arrive who are used to more combative discussions on other corners of the internet. That’s not how things work around here.
Here at Get Rich Slowly, my goal is to foster smart and civil conversations about money — even when we disagree with each other. If that sounds good to you, then please hang around. If this bothers you, then maybe we’re not a good fit. There are other sites you can read if you want to get into arguments or to leave nasty comments.
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Thank you for keeping the comment section civil. If only more sites would do this!
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Thank you so much for sharing this video and promoting civility. I am one who still uses ink pens and paper. Two side benefits are that my grandchildren must practice their cursive skills weekly and I have to focus on articulating one thought at a time. Peace is good.
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To Tina,
You bring up an interesting point on the “cursive” skills for your grandchildren. I grew up learning cursive in 2nd grade, (I’m 35) but I hear they are starting to teach typing skills very early now rather than cursive.
I don’t really see a need for children to learn cursive today, and think learning how to type accurately and fast is a MUCH more vital skill than learning to write cursive.
Obviously, learning how to read and write is vital, I just think that legible handwriting of normal script rather than cursive script is enough (unless you want to become a caligrapher and do fancy invitations and announcements the old fashioned way as an artist, of course).
Most people’s cursive hand writing is nearly illegible in any case, I prefer when my boss/co-workers write in normal, non-cursive script. When I was an auditor and making hand notes, I never used cursive for fear of being illegible to the reviewers as well.
Just my opinion, interested to hear your view on why cursive should be mandatory (other than “that’s what I learned” remembering that most of the men my father’s age never learned to type at all, which is quite embarasssing for them today to hunt and peck keys).
To JD,
I love the comments on your website, it’s one of the least hostile places around and the commenters are nearly as insightful as yourself.
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There are neurological advantages to learning to write cursive.
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There’s also just a lot to be said for preserving tradition. Here in Japan, my students study “Old Japanese” – ie the archaic writing. They hate it, and it’s hard, but people here care a lot about preserving their cultural legacy. That attitude is part of what makes their culture so strong.
Obviously cursive is a pretty narrow field to preserve, but I think it’s worth it.
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Why did that video make me tear up? . . . But it did.
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I want to say thanking for having and fostering such a great community. I don’t always agree with every article/post and I don’t find every single one helpful but there is a lot of information I can use (or maybe able to use in the future). Also this is a great blog in terms of moderation and participation by the main blogger. For awhile I was reading a large number of blogs (on various topics) but I’ve started cutting back, especially on ones where the blogger doesn’t acknowledge the comments or readers in any real or meaningful way.
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Thanks for sharing this…. I’m totally new to blogging and would hate to receive hate email… but regrettably, I suppose I will at some point.
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J.D. Your screening of the comments is perhaps one of the reasons why I like this blog so much. I don’t have to see the nastiness and offensive comments that one typically finds on other sites. Thanks for taking the time to do this.
I really enjoy reading the comments because people often contribute a lot of good ideas and considerations. Excessive negativity and personal insults are a turnoff and would make me stop reading if they were there.
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I am thinking, if a blogger can not write a civil comment and try to link to his site frequently what message he probably giving to his own readers. I did, at times, posted links to my blog but I did maintain decency and order.
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A couple years ago, I posted a question in the discussion boards about buying a house while still having other debt to pay off. One person wrote a long response in which he called me an idiot and a moron. This person had over 800 posts to his name, and nobody ever called him on his rudeness on that thread. So I’ve never been back to the discussion boards since.
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I had the same experience as Amanda and Jamie. I posted on the GRS Forum asking for advice and the members criticized and demeaned my lifestyle instead of offering advice. I’ve seen the same members bash others’ lifestyles on the forum too. What ever happened to constructive criticism on the forums?
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I add my thanks for your efforts to keep the blog civil. I have not posted many things here, I guess I am more of a “lurker” – a term that used to be used a lot on electronic bulletin boards in the 90s. I do enjoy most of the posts here.
It is unfortunate that you even have to enforce standards. I often wonder why people are not just civil without it being the “rule”.
Keep up the good work you do, please.
Dan Murphy
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Thanks! Your policies (and the fact that you enforce them) make the comment threads here really useful. I don’t see that on a lot of sites.
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I love the YouTube video. If more people remember that, the Internet would be a more civilized place. Thanks for moderating comments JD. It is definitely one of the reasons I stay around.
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That makes me feel better. I just started a podcast and included commenting and e-mailing ground rules, b/c I see and hear so much nastiness.
Glad to see I’m not the only one setting boundaries.
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Yes I gotta agree with Amanda, I had a bad experience at the GRS boards as well. And haven’t been back either.
All I asked was how did you know how much stuff was enough for you? Then I got criticized on why I should care what other people do. Because I was curious on how people psychologically reach that point. That’s all I wanted to know.
I just post here in the comments section, they seem to be moderated better. I wish there was a way to block rude people so they wouldn’t post on your threads at the discussion forums and I wish there was a way to delete rude people from your own threads.
On Yahoo Answers if a person is rude to me, I block them and report them for rudeness, or if they’re really rude I block them, delete the entire thread, and re-post the same question so their rude comment isn’t on it. I’m not against different opinions but I do hate it when people are nasty just for the sake of it.
A lot of people online feel the need to say rude comments that they wouldn’t normally tell a person in real life. Sometimes I think we should get away from screen names and use real names online, so we can be held accountable for the things that we say.
Maybe our ISP #s should be posted too, that way we can complain to an ISP provider if there is a case for cyber bullying. I know that’s going too far but sometime I hate the anonymity and the nasty attitudes that come from anonymity.
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Love, love, love the video! I am thinking of sending it to everyone in my email address book. Thanks for sharing.
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I appreciate that you distinguish between constructive criticism and outright rudeness. Some bloggers don’t. I know at least one blog (that you link to) in which the blogger deletes almost all negative comments. This makes the comment section really boring to read. Of course I compliment a post I liked, but if all the comments are “Awesome blog. I love this.”, it’s not very interesting. I like the challenges and criticisms.
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Kudos, J.D.! I’ve stopped reading a lot of websites because of the nastiness that goes on. I appreciate the community you’re fostering here.
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I guess I am posting because a couple of long recent comments I composed appeared then disappeared, in particular a long one I wrote about my food budget. (I’m positive it was not offensive in any way, I didn’t address anyone else!) If it is there, I cannot find it.
After that, I sort of thought …hmm..why am I bothering?
So after reading this post, I’m writing wondering if something is glitching on GRS end?
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I usually enjoy the comments as much as the articles because the discussions are civil and lively.
Thank you for screening the negative nellies.
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Hmmm…. Sounds as if I need to spend some time in the forums…
I apologize to those who have had poor experiences there.
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The fact that you are so responsive and diligent about things (like the above criticism) is one reason I read 90%+ of the comments on articles. Thanks JD!
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I really enjoyed that video. I wish that employers who post help wanted ads would watch it. I’ve applied for dozens of jobs over the past few years where I’ve gotten no response at all. It’s very dehumanizing and discouraging (especially because they could just set up an auto-responder to acknowledge receipt).
It’s a good reminder that we’re all humans out here.
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As a writer who has always had a bit of a bite to my words, it is nice to finally see your policy in written form, JD after all these rejections. It’s too bad it was not posted at the end of every column.(sincerely meant not sarcasm)
This may or may not be my only post to ever make it onto comments, this part is up to you. At least I know now that you do look at them.
All my past comments have been a negative response to some POINT another person made(not the person).
I guess this blog is simply not for me as my definition of impassioned debate is not allowed. You have every right to run your blog however you see fit by your definition.
I see statements that are illogical but polite or even off topic to have just as little place in comments due to being acts of abuse to people not allowed a passionate response. Best to limit them to prevent feeding trolls.
Do you filter at all based on perspective and content such as a point strongly differing from your own or just tone of the text?
It would be nice to see a response to the last question as I have not had the fortune to filter through the mix of idiocy and “aggressive” disagreement you must filter out.
I know when I read text I disagree with it often sounds angry to me.
I wonder if there are any studies on whether our perspective determines the perceived tone of an author?
Thank you very much for the fun time so far whenever an article steeped my interest.
I look forward to your response.
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Metamantis, I do not filter based on whether people disagree with me. It’s fine to disagree with me. In fact, it’s good to disagree with me.
But I filter if somebody’s being a jerk or if I think they’re spreading dangerous misinformation (“buy my multi-level marketing plan” or “sell all your stocks because the market is crashing”, etc.).
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You know, I’ve been toying with the idea of putting up a comment policy, but have been resisting. I always say that I welcome opposing viewpoints, balance is a beautiful thing…but I had a length comment one day from someone that had obviously not read the entire article that was not at all civil. I left it up because I try to moderate as little as possible, and other commenters attempted to correct the person. But then again, it’s my little ‘ole blog and you’re much bigger than that.
I don’t envy the kinds of comments that you must receive sometimes.
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Great post.
And… I like the garden posts and note that they are generally on Saturdays, so it’s a choice between a garden post or no post. So I respectfully disagree with the commenter cited.
We reserve the right to correct grammatical and spelling errors in comments on our blog. If that’s wrong, we don’t want to be right.
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These are really good guidelines – but it is upsetting that you even have to put a policy in place, what is the world coming to?
Thanks so much to all the writers – this blog is a (financial) life saver and I really enjoy the daily butt-kicking this gives me to sort my finances out!
THANK YOU!
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This is why I like your blog! I appreciate this kind of effort. It’s worth it in the end and it’s just one more facet of the unique characteristics of this blog and why I keep coming back.
Thanks.
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